FRIENDS through SAND and STONE: Children's Picture Book On The Value Of Forgiveness And Friendship (Friendship Books for Kids)

FRIENDS through SAND and STONE: Children's Picture Book On The Value Of Forgiveness And Friendship (Friendship Books for Kids)

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Teach your child the value of forgiveness and how to cherish true friendship.

Teaching your child to forgive is an essential tool in life that will make the transition from childhood to adolescence easier. Holding onto anger and resentment is a recipe for anxiety and depression for both children and adults. The earlier forgiveness is taught, the earlier you can prevent children from undertaking the role of the victim. That in turn helps to prevent anxiety and depression.

This inspiring fable tells the story of two friends, Rabbit and Monkey, who have a tradition of embarking on a different adventure every year. This year, they both decide to set off on a rather challenging adventure, even more challenging than their last. They both agreed that they will take a journey through the desert to the amazing oasis. However, on their way, they experience some difficulties that puts their friendship to the test. Join the friends on their trek through the desert to the amazing oasis and discover the true meaning of friendship and the value of forgiveness along the way.

  • Will Rabbit and Monkey find their way to the amazing oasis?
  • Will the friends discover a way to get along?
  • Will the oasis look and feel like the one they had envisioned?
  • Will Rabbit and Monkey remain good friends?
  • Will this adventure strengthen their friendship?

This book will help you teach your children the importance of forgiveness and also provide them with an important way of thinking about life that can result in a happier and healthier lifestyle. From this book, your child will learn to let go of anger and resentment even in the most difficult situations, a vital tool which they will need throughout their life. It also provides parents, teachers, and counselors with an entertaining method and a useful resource to teach children

This book is creatively designed and carefully written to assist you in helping your child to not only learn the value of forgiveness but also to appreciate and cherish true friendship, while embarking on a journey to discover the meaning of friendship

The lesson of this book is best expressed in this inspirational quote: “When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand, where the winds of forgiveness can erase it; but when someone does something good for us, we must carve it in stone, so no wind can ever erase it.”

This well-written and inspiring story delivers easy-to-digest education complemented by vibrant, delightful illustrations. This story may be ideal for reading to your kids at bedtime and enjoyable for the whole family as well! It is suitable as a read-aloud book for preschoolers or a self-read book for older children.

Scroll up and grab your copy of Friends Through Sand and Stone today!

  • Morris Yundt

    Elections really do bring out the worst in people especially because both of you seem competitive and it's hard to run against someone who is your friend. I'll be honest though, what he is saying isn't really that offensive to you, it's election talk and it's what you say when you're trying to convince people to vote for you or even convince yourself that there's hope to win. The things he is saying are implanting images into people's minds that he is the right guy for the job. It just *feels* really hurtful to you because it naturally has to be at your expense as his opponent and if it works then you wont win the election and that is extremely frustrating. I would reach out to him about it. Sit down with his and say that you know the two of you will probably be running against each other. Say that you really value his friendship and want to be sure that you're still friends when it's all over. Probably the best way to do this is not to say things that specifically trash the other person. You can compare yourself to each other, but don't say hateful or hurtful things that paint the other guy in a bad light. Keep the campaign about your own positives as much as possible and try not to take it too personally if things get heated.

  • Christine Zieme

    I am so sorry this happened to you. She ruined this for you as you won't be getting another dress. But: there are consequences for every such behavior. Not just for you. Are you planning to have children? Well, too bad she proved herself to be unreliable when it comes to keeping a secret. Let her know she will be the last person to know if you ever get pregnant and that she will figure out the gender of your child on the day it's born. Let FH tell her that. Now. *"Dear Mom, I am really, really upset that you "couldn't help it", but to abuse FW's trust when she sent you a picture. Since you texted the pictures to others, you now cannot control who else will see this. Obviously, you can't take this back and you ruined our surprise in spite of being told not to. Unfortunately, your decision does not only have consequences for us. By abusing our trust you clearly showed you cannot be trusted to keep a secret. So, hard as that my be, I decided that once FW and I will decide to have children in the future, you will be informed after everyone else, and I am afraid you will only learn of any child's gender at the time of birth. After all, you might just be "too excited" and "won't be able to help it" then, too. I considered this a test, and you didn't pass it, sorry. For the future, I advise you to think about the consequences of your behavior before behaving a certain way, just as you taught me when I was little. Love, your son."* It is really important that your FH writes the message from *his* point of view. That it was *him* who decided. Because otherwise, your 'justnomil' will 'decide' that you totally influenced him, and let it out on you. However, if he decided the future course of action, she might still try to seek forgiveness from you, and if she isn't a lost case, be a little kinder in the future. Then go from there. It would have been one thing to secretly show this to FH's grandma or a person on their deathbed. Texting the picture is a whole different thing. Absolutely unacceptable.

  • King Lowe

    Shoutout to shrubbyparrot...dude value friendship more than $$$..

  • Nolan Lowe

    list of playmats? what do you value for a lifetime of friendship?

  • Grace Hermann

    Wiggins friendship value

  • Gracie Bradtke

    I'm an African studies graduate and my teacher is from Ghana, he told us that when a baby is a miscarriage or dies young it's because the soil fulfilled it's purpose and it is possible that soul will come back. So his mom had twins and one of the twins wanted to die the other wanted to live but because the other was dying he died too, she marked their bodies because apparently when they are reborn they will hold the mark like a mark to the soul. So when my teacher was born he was born with a birth mark that his mom knew was the soul of the twin that wanted to live. He also claims that his son is the same soul of his father. It's very interesting and if you are interested reading books on African spirituality is really super interesting. (My teacher has some books on amazon that are called just that African spirituality and his picture is on the front lolol Anthony donkor) very interesting ideas on souls like you meet souls in your life that are actually souls of past family members so your best friend could've been you ancestors mother or best friend and you are drawn to each other to help each other and sometimes when you have served that purpose the friendship moves on etc. so yeah there are strong beliefs out there that suggest this theory.

  • Westley Gutmann

    Here are some quotes from upvoted comments and posts on altright, if anybody was wondering why they were banned. > Personally I don't care if you hate dindus, I just want to be able to better market pro-white to normies. Fact is running around screaming "kill the non-whites" aint that easy to sell and if we can't sell this, then what's the fucking point? Now, I'm not saying that those of you who do feel this way should stop, I'm just saying lie about it untill people can warm-up to the cause. Get people to pro-white first then you can have all the google hangouts you want for all I care. Otherwise we are just LARPING here. - > and yes, blacks are our enemy. Just saying you're not "anti-black" is meaningless, they will slander you with as much evil sounding rhetoric as possible. This means you have to be smart about how you think and speak, not abiding by some absolute "pro-black" policy. Avoid dumb platitudes, learn how to neg. The best memers are the ones who can neg really well. - > START THE OVEN GOYS "WHEN YOU COOK ALL THE JEWS. Just 1488 things." - > I think that the reason you see a lot of calls for violence against the (((mercants))) is because we whites are frustrated with the lack of attention that mud-on-huwhite violence gets in the fake news media. We still have the numbers, guns, and strength to wipe out the scum once the road war kicks off. I think most of us are just tired of playing nice with the sub-humans. However, I will be more than happy to comply with the rule of no calls for violence, even facetiously. We don't want any trouble, for now. - > I mean I often oven-post. I don't actually want to load a human being into an oven and set it to 1,488 degrees. But it's fun to say "get into the oven, jewbag" - > Oh lol. Yeah that can be fun. But you know what would be even more fun? Going 100% mainstream and deporting illegals and limiting non white Immigration while encouraging domestic families and putting planned parenthood on every ghetto street corner - > It's not enough to get rid of illegals, we have to physically remove the legal nonwhites that are already here as well if we want to 14. And that includes all chosenites - > How would one go about limiting Jewish influence without throwing them in ovens? Is it even possible? I don't know the answers to these questions. - > If you still care about what our opponents understand than you understand nothing. Our opponents are OBSTACLES, not potential allies to be converted or reasoned with. ENEMIES. They dont give a shit about whether or not YOU understand them. So return the fucking favor. - > Learn the fucking difference between talking about violence and actually advocating for it specifically. One wil get us banned, the other is plausibly deniable. If I say, "Hey we should get together at X and massacre Y" that is what will get this sub banned. Nobody does that. We say things like, "One day this will end violently, prepare yourselves", or "violence will be inevitable and this is a final pill to swallow". This is not calling for violence. Learn the fucking difference you pussy and stop shitting up our fucking movement with concern trolling. This is borderline fucking cuckery. We didnt get anywhere for decades by catering to everyones sensibilities and being a bunch of fucking f4ggots. The white man awakens and you would have him stifle his rightful rage and go back to sleep. Fuck you! The world will burn before this is over, if not during our lifetimes than during those of our children, mark my words. And this isnt a threat or a call to violence, this is a prediction based on how things are going. Anyone denying that violence will ensue organically in the future is denying reality and has no understanding of the situation. Our enemies hate us, and they want to destroy us. Some openly and others not so much. But there are people who would "acquaint your head with the pavement" just for associating with us, and people like you will grovel before them and beg for forgiveness and say you never harbored any ill will, you never called for violence, what did you do to deserve this?! Grow some fucking balls! That's a representative view of what the altright thinks and believes. That's why they were banned. And here's a piece from the National Review, a conservative publication, about Steve Bannon: [The elevation of the former Breitbart CEO to the Trump administration is cause for concern](http://www.nationalreview.com/article/442189/steve-bannon-trump-administration-alt-right-breitbart-chief-strategist) > But under Bannon’s leadership, Breitbart News’s impishness became something else. When it was not promoting Pravda-esque lies during the campaign season — for example, reporting as “100% vindicated” Trump’s claim that “thousands” of people in New Jersey celebrated the September 11 attacks — the site built up its viewer base by catering to the alt-right, a small but vocal fringe of white supremacists, anti-Semites, and Internet trolls. In May, Weekly Standard editor Bill Kristol was labeled a “Renegade Jew.” - > But the alt-right is not a “fabrication” of the media. The alt-right is a hodgepodge of philosophies that, at their heart, reject the fundamental principle that “all men are created equal, endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights.” The alt-right embraces an ethno-nationalism that has its counterparts in the worst of the European far-right: Golden Dawn in Greece, or Hungary’s Jobbik. (It’s no coincidence that Bannon spent time this summer praising “the women of the Le Pen family” on London radio, referring to the head of France’s National Front and her niece, a FN member of the French Parliament.) - > If ethnic and religious minorities are worried, it’s in part because Donald Trump and his intimates have spent the last several months winking at one of the ugliest political movements in America’s recent history. - > Principled conservatives, especially those in leadership positions, have a political and moral duty to condemn, and to work to eradicate, the animus that is the alt-right’s raison d’être, and to uphold the pillars of the American project. That project is more than metaphysical abstractions; but it is also not a simple matter of blut und boden. No, Steve Bannon is not Josef Goebbels. But he has provided a forum for people who spend their days photoshopping pictures of conservatives into ovens. These hateful people have a seat at the tables of the highest levels of power in our nation. So it's great that they were banned from Reddit, but they're still out there and still in power.

  • Samson Thiel

    >What about this? Well that i ignored, i did my own research and here's what i found : >As to the issue of how the homosexual person is judged in an Islamic State, the Companions of Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessing be upon him differed among themselves on this issue, and this led to different views maintained by Muslim Jurists. For example, in the Hanafi school of thought, the homosexual is punished through harsh beating, and if he/she repeats the act, death penalty is to be applied. As for the Shafi`i school of thought, the homosexual receives the same punishment of adultery (if he/she is married) or fornication (if not married). This means, that if the homosexual is married, he/she is stoned to death, while if single, he/she is whipped 100 times. Hence, the Shafi`i compares the punishment applied in the case of homosexuality with that of adultery and fornication, while the Hanafi differentiates between the two acts because in homosexuality, the anus (a place of impurity) may also be involved while in adultery (and fornication), the penis/vagina (which are reproductive parts) are involved. Some scholars hold the opinion that the homosexual should be thrown from a high building as a punishment for his crime, but other scholars maintain that he should be imprisoned until death. >It's very easy to spin the story in a way that paints the apostate as the "enemy" or traitor, like when they speak out against Islam after they leave. Shocking amounts of Muslims around the world support the death penalty for that. If the person starts spreading lies about islam then yes he is to be killed. I've watched a debate where an ex muslim was debating a muslim, and she was clearly quoting verses out context and leaving parts unmentioned to distort the truth. >Saying that Allah is not the Creator, that he doesn't exist, that Muhammad wasn't a real prophet, that the Quran is not divinely inspired, drawing pictures of Muhammad. The Quran on Blasphemy : “Revile not ye those whom they call upon besides Allah, lest they out of spite revile Allah in their ignorance. Thus We have made alluring to each people its own doings. In the end will they return to their Lord, and We shall then tell them the truth of all that they did. [6:108] If blasphemy was punishable by death in Islam, then the Prophet would have been the first one to order the killing of hundreds of his foes who later became his closest companions. With the exception of a very few earlier Arabs who accepted the Prophet as the Messenger of Allah , the majority of people of Makkah opposed him, humiliated him, cursed or blasphemed him or even tried to kill him, yet he preferred to practice forgiveness and to seek the divine mercy for them. >The most prominent group that wants to reinstate the Caliphate today is ISIS. You must understand that skepticism is a natural reaction here. ISIS is using islam to fullfil their earthly objectives if they wanted to establish a real Caliphate they would've at least followed the Quran and Sunna to the letter and not kill innocents. The prophet hadith on war ethics : “Go forth in the name of Allah and fight whoever disbelieves in Allah. Fight and do not steal, do not be treacherous, do not mutilate, and do not kill children. When you meet your enemy among the idolaters, then call them to three options. If they respond to any of them, then restrain your hands from fighting them. First, call them to Islam. If they respond to you, then accept it from them and restrain your hands from fighting them. Then, invite them to migrate from their lands to the land of the emigrants, and if they do so they will have the rights and duties of the emigrants, but if they refuse to migrate, then they will have the status of the desert Arabs. They will be subject to the ruling of Allah just as the believers, but they will receive no share of the spoils unless they struggle alongside the Muslims. Second, if they refuse to accept Islam, then ask them to pay tribute. If they agree to pay tribute, then accept it from them and restrain your hands from fighting them. Third, if they refuse to pay tribute, then seek help from Allah and fight them. When you besiege the people of a fortress and they appeal to you for protection in the name of Allah and His Prophet, do not give them protection in the name of Allah and His Prophet, but rather give them protection in the name of you and your companions, for verily, for you to violate the protection of yourself and your companions is a lesser sin than to violate the protection of Allah and his Messenger; and when you besiege the people of a fortress and they appeal for you to bring them out according to the rule of Allah, do not bring them our according to the rule of Allah, but rather bring them out according to your ruling, for verily, you do not know if you will judge with the ruling of Allah concerning them or not.” Source: Sahih Muslim 1731

  • Nyah Huel

    [continued from parent] * The EU's image. I do not live in the EU, so I have a very distorted view of what the EU means to people. However, my vague understanding (which is in great part derived from hanging out on a relatively-well-educated, multilingual forum) is that it tends to be seen as a sort of move towards a Star Trek world, a progressive, ideological move. That's okay, but if that is *all* that it is, it's going to run into friction with people who aren't very interested in that. There are many countries out there who are great about whipping up enthusiasm in their public for the country. I feel like the EU has not done that. I can find a thousand neat pictures of the US with an eagle doing something out there, but none of the EU and its bull. Part of making the EU a cohesive entity is in selling it to the public, and high-minded progressive ideals (especially citizen-of-the-world sort of stuff) are not alone going to be enough. Make the average Joe on the street view the EU as something that's awesome, that they're proud to be associated with, the way that football teams or countries have managed to do. When people are painting beautiful shots of the EU bull on their cars or wearing jackets sporting it, then I think that the EU's in good shape. I can say "the US was the first to land someone on the moon" -- what are the kind of things that people in the EU can throw out as things that they're really proud of? Sure, the EU's young, but it's far-larger than many small and young countries were at the EU's age, countries that had sold themselves well to their publics. I know that some will call this biased towards the approach that the US has used or that concerns of how nationalism played out in the World Wars have made countries in Europe leery of that sort of thing...but the US isn't facing concerns about integrity of the union, either. * Providing clear paths forward on issues. I am perhaps less-enthusiastic than most here about the idea of simply having Germany/France/Finland absorb the Greek losses. However, I do strongly think that there should be a realistic, viable plan that Greece could follow, and *if* Greece follows it, her people wind up out of the hole. That should be complete and full and not have details held back. That may-or-may not be necessary for bureaucrats, but I think that a public needs a light at the end of the tunnel, even if the tunnel is long and rough. Even if it is impossible to politically sell the German public on some scheme involving debt forgiveness and instead German bureaucrats have simply committed privately, there could be a plan present that simply hasn't been signed off on until the public will exists for it. * Pensions. As far as I can tell, the entire pension system in EU members is a timebomb with a burning fuse. Citizens in EU members enjoy freedom of movement. That's fine, but normally if you have a state pension, it's predicated upon future payments from people who can't simply up and leave. In the EU, pensions are not handled at the EU level, and are not subject to a cross-state-boundaries-funding scheme. The present structure seems, as best as I can tell, to likely cause great deprivation in the old age of people in poorer EU members -- young people will go to a wealthy EU member, work there, and either emigrate there (so the poorer member pays to raise the kid but does not benefit from his work) or even worse, return home in their old age and draw state pension. At least some countries (Germany?) have pension structures that are highly-disadvantageous to non-citizen workers -- it looks like you can lose pension contributions if you leave Germany. Pensions will be a huge problem down the line, and it is far easier to address a problem like that earlier than later. My own suggestion is that pension contributions may be set by any EU member however they like, but people still must pay into the pension fund of the state where they hold citizenship even if they're working in another EU member. There's no reason to disincentivize working domestically as opposed to in a foreign EU member. Alternatively, do away with state pensions if they actually aren't necessary. But don't run up a huge pension liability in EU members seeing their children leaving to work abroad and then fail to fund it. That way lies catastrophe. * The European Council, the Council of Europe, and the Council of the European Union. That's confusing even for a lot of people *here*, who are mostly from the EU, often political/policy junkies, and well-educated. Make up a cool, distinctive, memorable name for two of those and switch 'em.

  • Gregory Harber

    > Not to mention there are numerous other creation myths from multiple parts of the world. Should I attribute likelihood to any of them too? The Biblical account of creation varies in many distinct ways from the mythologies in surrounding cultures. Despite some incidental similarities, there are vast contrasts: - The biblical narrative is monotheistic rather than polytheistic. - In Genesis, God rather than primeval chaos is eternally existent. - In Genesis, God creates everything, including what is "formless and void," then gives form to it. - Ancient Near Eastern myths say virtually nothing about how anything was made. Instead, they describe how the gods organized pre-existing matter. In Genesis, God creates everything out of nothing by the word of His mouth. - Genesis portrays a divine unity of purpose rather than the feuding deities of the pagan myths. - Genesis pictures a good God making a good creation as opposed to selfish, murderous deities serving their own ends. - Most of the creative work of the gods in the ancient myths involves bringing other gods into existence, which is clearly not the case in Genesis. - In Genesis, man is created in God’s image to be in fellowship with Him rather than being a servant who exists for the purpose of feeding the gods through sacrifices and keeping them from having to do manual labor. > Ok so if this is the case why is the bible misrepresenting what actually happened? Are you inferring we shouldn't take it literally? I think "literally" is an inadequate term to describe a work like the Bible. The Bible is rich in literary forms like metonymy, simile, figurative language, parable, prophecy, poetry, metaphor, allegory, archetypes, and so many other. "Literally" doesn't really take us anywhere. I don't think the Bible is misrepresenting what happened. I take Genesis 2 as a functional account of creation, accurately describing the role and functionality of humans on the planet. It's not a metaphor or mythography, but a theological interpretation and explanation of historical events. > Word games. If I have a child. I definitely want them to obey me. I have principles and standards. I make it clear. But then in the safety of our home I place within their grasp the ability to disobey me. Who is the actual bad guy here? Semantics matter. It's how we particularize our thoughts. God didn't "place within their grasp the ability to disobey." It was there already. The disobedience and rebellion of spiritual forces had already taken place, and those beings were active on the earth. God was teaching them how to conform to the right and the wise and avoid the trouble waiting around every corner. > Now if you don't hold to a concept of hell or eternal punishment I can see your view. But if the same God will turn around and allow his children to be tortured with no end because of these choices he wants them to have, he's the villian. How hard of a concept is this to grasp? Hell is a completely different discussion, but if you choose against life, death is the result. If you choose against love, absence of love is the consequence. If you choose against forgiveness, you can't be forgiven. Hell is your choice, not God's. > Why do you get to decide what part is real and what part is myth and how exactly did you come to these conclusions? We're all students of the text. We do our research and make our decisions. > Yet they don't have the ability to determine right from wrong! Good vs Evil. Of course they do. Their choice is as real as yours or mine is every day. They had a knowledge of good and evil. Their choice was to which they would conform. > God put the tree there. Yes, God put the tree there. It was symbolic of all the decisions they make, just as we continually make those decisions as well. The tree itself wasn't magical. It's what it represented. If you and I are fighting, and I draw a line in the sand and dare you to cross it, the line has no power. It's real, but it's symbolic of our conflict. So also the tree. Just because God "drew a line in the sand" doesn't mean he was setting them up for failure or asking them to do something of which they were incapable. They were both capable and culpable. > How do you avoid the fact that God literally wrote the script before all this plays out? God didn't write the script. Knowledge is never causative. Only power is causative. God knew what they were going to choose, just as I can pretty well guess you're going to disagree with most of what I am writing. But I am not forcing you to disagree with me. It's not scripted, but it can still be known.

  • Luisa Stark

    I agree with the list thing 100%, but I think NParents are also incapable of seeing the whole picture overall with their words and actions, so a whole list read all at once with no stopping wouldn't phase them. They'd be pissed they couldn't interrupt you and get their little jabs and blame in, but it still would not affect them because these are *incidents* and not *history*. Consider what your NParent did to you. Now pretend that NParent was a spouse who did all those things to you. Would it be socially acceptable for people to encourage you to go back to that abusive spouse? Hell no. They would be trying to help you get as far away from that person as possible. But, for some reason, as soon as it comes to parents, everyone wants forgiveness and for you to return to your abuser and "you weren't exactly the perfect kid, either." If anything, abusive parents should be seen and treated WORSE than spousal abuse, because at least with spousal abuse, you're an adult and have resources. As a child, THEY'RE ALL YOU HAVE. And you're a *child* - there isn't even a way to justify "you were asking for it" when it comes to children, and even the legal system knows that. It's why pedophiles are arrested for having pictures and yet the vast majority of adult rapists never even spend a day in jail after actually, physically attacking someone. As for the "incidents" comment earlier, consider that your NParent is driving a car. They keep getting into crashes, but even when they rear-end someone, it's the guy in front's fault for stopping at that red light too quickly, even if it had been red for the past 50 seconds and your NParent saw that. If they crash into a building, it's the fault of the road which was too sharp. T-bone someone? The guy they hit obviously skipped a red light (not the other way around) since there were no witnesses that stopped to let them know they were in the wrong. You get the idea. So they continue through their life thinking it's everyone else's fault but theirs, so in their mind, they're a good driver, even if they take responsibility for a single accident (which they most likely won't), because these are incidents and not history. History, to them, is how shitty everyone else on the road is, and how good of a driver they are in SPITE of these hiccups because they kept going when they should have called it quits because *clearly* everyone else can't drive except them. Explaining to them that it is NOT normal to be in that many accidents is meaningless because "I am the victim here! How dare you blame me! I was in the wrong spot at the wrong time!" etc., so even though everyone else can see it, they can't. And those that fall for it deserve to be in the car with them when it happens next.

  • Ettie Muller

    The nature of your response is so incredibly kind; it shows more than you can imagine about how you are processing this. I do not want to mislead and paint a Disney-esque solution and happily ever after. It is an ongoing struggle. When you talk about how your mother seems to justify and accept how *she did the best she could with the tools she had available, given her circumstances, and you are lucky she did not do worse,* I do not doubt that a part of her believes that. Yet, I also believe a part of her is so badly hurt, that to come to terms with it all-- to absorb all the pain she inflicted and suffered-- it may kill her. Could you imagine facing the ramifications of actions like hers? You cannot. The path you have chosen is lined with pain, but it is also a path rooted in truth and progress. Most people do not delve into it, or ask the questions you are asking for a reason-- they cannot literally live with it. However, those that do have the strength and capacity to be the most impactful humans on the planet. My dad was abandoned and raised in an orphanage on the East Coast, and the abuse was suffered not only by the hands of parents, but higher-ups in the church as well. And do not get me wrong, there is still incomprehensible pain, he refers to his mother as a whore or a cunt, and looks at pictures of and laughs . . . saying “here she is on vacation smiling while her seven children rotted on the street, beaten and used,“ they never go away, these wounds. He made mistakes too, and in many ways it manifested in a lack of empathy with some things, but at the end of the day the cycle was broken, and lives should be devoted to lessening suffering and painful affectations-- while knowing no one fully ever can. You are TOOOO kind also! I am not a rock, I am just forgiving. He exposed me to literature and culture, as did my mother, and somewhere along the way forgiveness came with it. I estranged myself for many years due to some of the strange psychological impacts they had on me-- and I do not or would not always advise to *forget and forgive* as many fairy tales want people to believe. I encourage people to dig, ask questions, be sad when they are sad, be angry without causing more anger toward undeserving others, and know that deep down-- this is a burden you do not deserve, and your life will be affected forever-- but it also can allow it to be more beautiful for it. *sorry about my punctuation, I spilled on my apostrophe and parenthesis key . . . and that is annoying. **If you could see me interact with my dad during the last debate you would not call me a compassionate daughter. ( ; ***You are NOT alone. You are worthy of so much love, and already more accomplished and hopeful than you realize.

  • Gerhard Purdy

    You basically want me to spoon-feed you proof without you ever trying to understand the depth of my arguments. It's like I'm talking to Siri. Half the time, you're like "Sorry, what was that?" and the other half you're being unreasonable. Should I not be able to use the many figures of speech without being unclear about what I have said? Instead, you want me to write like a robot. You want me to say: "X is false" and you want to answer "No, it isn't" without any proof. I've always believed I was talking like a normal person and all my past arguments with other people are proof of that. The way I structure my arguments is no different from when I debate with other people. All of them clearly understand my points and try to rebut them. Why can't you? You're clearly blindly ignoring everything I am saying. No one I've debated with has ever said to me "Hey, I don't think you're presenting valid arguments here. So no need for me to answer back!". The way I speak and what I speak is logical to everyone involved. It's not like I'm saying stuff without thinking about it first, why do you think it takes me so long to reply? If other people can understand me, why can't you? I've changed the structure of my arguments many times in this discussion alone, yet every time, you're adamant in claiming that you can't see any valid argument there. I think this is a very shoddy attempt at dodging arguments here. This is not the first time I've seen it, honestly. This is my absolute last reply to you. I am going to structure my arguments like a Robot now so there must absolutely be no chance of misinterpretations. If you still feel there's no valid argument, then your logical reasoning is the faulty one here. Or there's probably none there whatsoever. MY ARGUMENTS PRESENTED IN A WAY ALMOST ANYONE WILL UNDERSTAND: ->Your contradictory beliefs. This is my claim #1. Now everything in the next box is my logical proof for that claim. [You believe A to be true. You believe B to be true. But A and B both can't be true together. Just like how the sun can't be both rising and setting at your location. Hence, your beliefs are contradictory. With this template, let me approach (or at least try to) your contradictory beliefs; You Believe the statement "Jesus is God" to be true. You believe the statement "Jesus is the pathway to God, Jesus is the mediator to God" But Jesus can either be God or he can be the pathway to God. He can't be both. Hence, you beliefs are contradictory. I mean, look at both statements. If you don't think there's a logical fallacy there, then clearly you're being unreasonable.] ->Jesus can't be a mediator. This is my claim #2, and the next box is going to be my logical proof for it. [God is an infinitely smart and able being. He can see, hear, feel, do absolutely anything he so wishes. He is God! I think every major religion believes this definition of God to be true. And I'm assuming you do as well. If all this is true, then why does God feel the need to have a mediator for people to access him? Why can't he hear our voices directly and answer them directly? You deliberately ignored my delivery example in the last post so I will reiterate: If you want to order something online from an online retailer, you want that your orders be taken by this online retailer directly. With one press of a button, they'll receive your orders directly and process it accordingly. Now if you had a middleman, a mediator, in this process who'll take your orders and relay them to the online retailer, it would make the whole process unnecessarily longer and redundant. After you've ordered from the retailer, you want that your items be delivered at home directly without you being required to go to another location to receive your delivery. It's very simple, really. I'm surprised that I actually *need* to spell this out for you.] ->God's perfection standards are illogical. This is my claim #3 and everything in the next box is my logical proof for that. (I've literally copy pasted what I said in an earlier post because I believe, despite all odds, that you'll actually read it and respond to it) [The perfectionism requirement of God is not only an impossible burden to behold, it's also illogical. Allow me to elaborate. Consider the following points. 1)God created humans. 2)Humans live lives where they are supposed to search for God through their own free will and worship and obey him. 3)Humans can only enter Heaven if they are perfect, if they haven't done anything that's imperfect. If they show imperfection in any sense, they are doomed to Hell. 4)Human Beings are not perfect. They can never be perfect. 5)If 3 and 4 are true, then all Humans, by default, are doomed to Hell 6)But Humans can ask for forgiveness for their actions and thus absolve themselves of each sin they commit. 7) If 3 and 6 are true, then that means God created two pathways for us to enter Heaven. Be perfect, or ask for forgiveness. Assuming all the points I made above are true, then here is my objection to the Perfectionism argument. -If God demands perfection from us, why didn't he just create us as angels? Why did he disallow perfection in our reality? Why can we never be able to do anything with absolute perfection? Can't God just say "Hey, ask for forgiveness and I'll forgive your sins and let you enter Heaven" without bringing in the perfectionism requirement? A)Why would God, an infinitely intelligent being, waste time creating two paths (see point 7 above) and make sure that one of those paths is impossible to cross no matter what? Shouldn't he acknowledge that humans will commit sin anyways and just tell them to ask for forgiveness?] The only response to this I've heard is when you said God had already made angels and that he had other plans for us and that he wanted people who were saved by his blood. This still doesn't explain why God needs a perfection requirement. He could simply acknowledge that all humans will definitely make mistakes and he should just require that they ask for forgiveness instead of be perfect. THEN this forgiveness should be facilitated by God's blood or whatever. Why the need for perfection? Why is this requirement present in the scripture, which is supposed to be what a Constitution is to the Nation? These are my claims with my logical proofs supporting them. I don't understand how you would still think there's no valid argument while still staying within the Holy Bounds of Logic. >You've simply presented no valid arguments. There are two types of valid arguments: A implies B A Therefore B And A implies B Not B Therefore not A Neither of these are present in your comment. So because I didn't format my arguments to fit those templates, you thought I had no valid arguments? You are absolutely correct when you say there are those two types of arguments. What you fail to understand is that every argument I've made can be compressed into that template. It's just that I haven't *specifically* formatted my arguments like that. That doesn't mean you can't see my arguments and mentally fit them into the template you just provided. If I wanted to prove to you that a sharp object can be harmful if used incorrectly, I would simply give you an example of how a knife can murder people, how a nail can impale people, how a saw can cut through people. This way is easier. I wouldn't go too out of my way by structuring my argument like: "Sharp Objects are harmful" implies "Humans need to be careful with them" "Sharp Objects are harmful" is true. Therefore, "Humans need to be careful with them" is true as well. >No, it's that there is no explanation beyond God commanding that thing. There's nothing else that makes it immoral If I asked you to jump in a well and drown yourself, would you obey me mindlessly? Would you not at least ask *why*? Now you would say "Hey, you are not God! Why should I trust you?" and you would be right. But an explanation as to why is still in order, human or God. It's an insult to our intellectual capability that we not at least try to understand why. I understand why a parent might sometimes ask their young and innocent children to obey them without question. It's because they might never understand a lot of things if everything was explained. But as we grow older, our parents explain everything to us and we come to make sense of the world and understand where our parents are coming from. Therefore, we start developing respect for our parents for their wisdom. But in your case, God chooses to not offer any explanation and make us obey him without any questions asked. This again makes me think why he didn't just create us as angels if he didn't want us to ask questions. Why give us a brain when you expect us not to use it? >They're about God's will. Keep in mind, this is your answer to the question "What are God's standards about?". This is exactly like asking "What is the school's standards about?" and getting "They're about the school's will". It answers nothing and is such an obvious yet mundane thing to say as an answer. >The more explicit you are about your premises and argument the better. No. You need to be more understanding. No one I've debated with has ever said that I'm not explicit with my arguments. Formatting everything in templates is extremely redundant when talking to humans. >If you want to keep asking me questions, you'll keep getting answers and nothing more. And those answers will not mean anything without logical proof.

  • Cecilia Hilll

    I object to your implied claim that appeals to emotion are irrational and should be discarded. After all, without emotions we would not have empathy, and without empathy there would be no debate of moral systems at all, as they would not have developed. Indeed, the very concept of civilization would be patently absurd if we habitually paid no attention to our emotions, thinking them irrational or untrustworthy. The fact is that our emotions developed with us, over millions of years. They are an incredibly powerful, practically limitlessly adaptable tool for parsing reality, and pretending that they don't matter is quite foolish. However, I don't expect you to accept that. My objection above was merely my immediate reaction to any argument formulated in this way, claiming that extreme evil is necessary for there to be good. I have further objections to this. First off, you have failed to argue that your concept of virtue is one we should strive for. I am entirely unconvinced that the definition I am assuming you are using (for you don't even include it in the text), of "Choosing to make morally good choices when morally evil ones are available" is one which we should always strive for under every possible moral framework and in all circumstances, or even that it should be valuable enough to us or to a deity to allow the existence of child-torture. Instead, you present us with this: >The result would be a toy universe or pleasure park in which we exist like animals or small children—experiencing comfort and sensory pleasure but without the opportunity to show empathy, courage, patience, self-sacrifice, forgiveness or heroism. Nonsense. First off, this is total speculation on your part. You don't know what a universe where making morally bad choices was impossible would look like, but you jump at the assertion that it would be somehow worse than ours and cling to it. Second, a completely empathetic universe could absolutely allow its denizens to experience empathy, and as for the rest, you are making the baseless assertion that being incapable of experiencing them is somehow bad. You do not justify this claim in any way. Perhaps worse, consider a universe where only some evil was allowed. Where, for instance, people could not die (and yes, I consider death to be perhaps the greatest evil, and you should as well under your own precepts, for it robs the afflicted of all possible choice, and therefore virtue, from here into eternity), and be forced to say goodbye forever, but they could experience pain. In such a world, the rest of those emotions would absolutely be conceivable. Virtue, such as you define it, would be attainable. The issue, here, is that you failed to imagine such a world and how its possible existence might impact your worldview. Furthermore, this: >And, as Swinburne notes, humans are so made that when we choose to do good, it becomes slightly easier to choose to do good again at the next opportunity; and when we choose to do evil, it becomes slightly easier to choose to do evil again at the next opportunity is nonsense. Neuronormative humans are designed such that doing actions which most of us consider morally good are encouraged through the activation of reward circuitry in our brains, and doing actions which are generally considered morally bad causes feelings of guilt and shame. It is absolutely possible for us to overcome our guilt and perform evil again, but practically everyone must rationalize it for themselves. Nobody thinks themselves a villain, and we will curl around ourselves and twist ourselves in knots to make that so. We will nearly always convince ourselves that we are morally in the right. Furthermore, the majority of humans [cannot kill in cold blood](http://smellslikescience.com/the-psychology-of-killing-and-the-origins-of-war/). We only do it in warfare because we have, again, been convinced that we are right through propaganda of one sort or another, or because we feel ourselves under threat and wish to defend ourselves. It is certainly possible to break that aversion, but it is not the steady progression your "source" claims. It generally involves total psychotic breaks. >potions, hypnotism or spells What? First off, magic isn't real. There is no such thing as a "spell," and if there were, you should immediately go to present evidence of such to your nearest university so you can collect your Nobel Prize and begin human exploration into the field of serious arcane research. Do you have any idea how much money such a discovery would be worth? By the way, this argument is the strongest one against the existence of magic. Nobody is making billions of dollars off such an industry, and therefore it does not exist. Any sufficiently examined magic is indistinguishable from science. Second, depending upon your definition of potion, that's all love is anyway. A series of chemical reactions in your brain lighting up reward circuitry in a particular way. That's not speculation on my part, that's an accepted fact in the scientific community. If you wish to debate that and claim that there is something more to it, be my guest, but understand that I will require evidence of any such claim before I accept it. Extraordinary claims (which violate significant priors) require extraordinary evidence, and all that. Since you don't understand how love actually works, and that it is merely an evolved response which binds us to each other and increases our willingness to cooperate in ways that ensure mutual survival, I will ignore the rest of that argument. Because your axioms in that regard are demonstrably false, they are not axioms. >It ensures that opportunities to obtain virtue are universal; it broadens the scope and significance of our moral choices; and, most importantly, it conduces to the religious life. Allow me to introduce you to the concept of the Sour Grapes fallacy: Imagine a world which is exactly like ours, except that one out of every ten grapes, chosen at random, was insurmountably sour, bitter, and noxious, and that you couldn't tell the bad ones from the good before eating them. Biting into such a grape is a massively unpleasant experience, so unpleasant that your total enjoyment of grapes as a whole was negative. Now imagine that grapes are the only source of some vital nutrient, and that you will die in agony unless you consume grapes every day. You have no choice but to eat grapes. Right here, and right now, you are attempting to justify evil, to say that it is necessary that evil exist in order to fulfill some greater good. You and I both would agree that the sour grapes universe is worse than our own, if only slightly, and therefore you must accept that such evil would be uneccessary. However, I can use the argument you are using right now on our universe on the sour grapes universe, saying that the existence of sour grapes increases our enjoyment of non-sour ones, or that our bravery in continuing to eat sour grapes imparts some moral virtue, or that, really, our surprise at biting into a sour grape is an indelible part of the fabric we call life, and really we wouldn't want to mess with that, now would we? After all, this is the only life we can imagine, sour grapes and all. How could it possibly be better? I hope you see the problem here. You are looking at our world and applying the conclusion that there is a good deity controlling it, then trying to justify what you see based upon that conclusion. You aren't imagining other alternatives, and you certainly aren't considering that maybe your initial conclusions are wrong. You start with the axiom "A tri-omni exists," and you are torturing logic to make that conclusion fit reality. I am not. I see a world where torture and pain are commonplace, where people can die, and die horribly. I see a world with the sourest possible grape, that of the inevitability of our own demise. I take what I see, and I start there. I build upon what I can know to be true, and I have ultimate faith in very little. And from that, I construct a worldview where there is no god. Nobody to save us. No. No, saving humanity? That is our job.

  • Hildegard Volkman

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  • Jesse McLaughlin

    I object to your implied claim that appeals to emotion are irrational and should be discarded. After all, without emotions we would not have empathy, and without empathy there would be no debate of moral systems at all, as they would not have developed. Indeed, the very concept of civilization would be patently absurd if we habitually paid no attention to our emotions, thinking them irrational or untrustworthy. The fact is that our emotions developed with us, over millions of years. They are an incredibly powerful, practically limitlessly adaptable tool for parsing reality, and pretending that they don't matter is quite foolish. However, I don't expect you to accept that. My objection above was merely my immediate reaction to any argument formulated in this way, claiming that extreme evil is necessary for there to be good. I have further objections to this. First off, you have failed to argue that your concept of virtue is one we should strive for. I am entirely unconvinced that the definition I am assuming you are using (for you don't even include it in the text), of "Choosing to make morally good choices when morally evil ones are available" is one which we should always strive for under every possible moral framework and in all circumstances, or even that it should be valuable enough to us or to a deity to allow the existence of child-torture. Instead, you present us with this: >The result would be a toy universe or pleasure park in which we exist like animals or small children—experiencing comfort and sensory pleasure but without the opportunity to show empathy, courage, patience, self-sacrifice, forgiveness or heroism. Nonsense. First off, this is total speculation on your part. You don't know what a universe where making morally bad choices was impossible would look like, but you jump at the assertion that it would be somehow worse than ours and cling to it. Second, a completely empathetic universe could absolutely allow its denizens to experience empathy, and as for the rest, you are making the baseless assertion that being incapable of experiencing them is somehow bad. You do not justify this claim in any way. Perhaps worse, consider a universe where only some evil was allowed. Where, for instance, people could not die (and yes, I consider death to be perhaps the greatest evil, and you should as well under your own precepts, for it robs the afflicted of all possible choice, and therefore virtue, from here into eternity), and be forced to say goodbye forever, but they could experience pain. In such a world, the rest of those emotions would absolutely be conceivable. Virtue, such as you define it, would be attainable. The issue, here, is that you failed to imagine such a world and how its possible existence might impact your worldview. Furthermore, this: >And, as Swinburne notes, humans are so made that when we choose to do good, it becomes slightly easier to choose to do good again at the next opportunity; and when we choose to do evil, it becomes slightly easier to choose to do evil again at the next opportunity is nonsense. Neuronormative humans are designed such that doing actions which most of us consider morally good are encouraged through the activation of reward circuitry in our brains, and doing actions which are generally considered morally bad causes feelings of guilt and shame. It is absolutely possible for us to overcome our guilt and perform evil again, but practically everyone must rationalize it for themselves. Nobody thinks themselves a villain, and we will curl around ourselves and twist ourselves in knots to make that so. We will nearly always convince ourselves that we are morally in the right. Furthermore, the majority of humans [cannot kill in cold blood](http://smellslikescience.com/the-psychology-of-killing-and-the-origins-of-war/). We only do it in warfare because we have, again, been convinced that we are right through propaganda of one sort or another, or because we feel ourselves under threat and wish to defend ourselves. It is certainly possible to break that aversion, but it is not the steady progression your "source" claims. It generally involves total psychotic breaks. >potions, hypnotism or spells What? First off, magic isn't real. There is no such thing as a "spell," and if there were, you should immediately go to present evidence of such to your nearest university so you can collect your Nobel Prize and begin human exploration into the field of serious arcane research. Do you have any idea how much money such a discovery would be worth? By the way, this argument is the strongest one against the existence of magic. Nobody is making billions of dollars off such an industry, and therefore it does not exist. Any sufficiently examined magic is indistinguishable from science. Second, depending upon your definition of potion, that's all love is anyway. A series of chemical reactions in your brain lighting up reward circuitry in a particular way. That's not speculation on my part, that's an accepted fact in the scientific community. If you wish to debate that and claim that there is something more to it, be my guest, but understand that I will require evidence of any such claim before I accept it. Extraordinary claims (which violate significant priors) require extraordinary evidence, and all that. Since you don't understand how love actually works, and that it is merely an evolved response which binds us to each other and increases our willingness to cooperate in ways that ensure mutual survival, I will ignore the rest of that argument. Because your axioms in that regard are demonstrably false, they are not axioms. >It ensures that opportunities to obtain virtue are universal; it broadens the scope and significance of our moral choices; and, most importantly, it conduces to the religious life. Allow me to introduce you to the concept of the Sour Grapes fallacy: Imagine a world which is exactly like ours, except that one out of every ten grapes, chosen at random, was insurmountably sour, bitter, and noxious, and that you couldn't tell the bad ones from the good before eating them. Biting into such a grape is a massively unpleasant experience, so unpleasant that your total enjoyment of grapes as a whole was negative. Now imagine that grapes are the only source of some vital nutrient, and that you will die in agony unless you consume grapes every day. You have no choice but to eat grapes. Right here, and right now, you are attempting to justify evil, to say that it is necessary that evil exist in order to fulfill some greater good. You and I both would agree that the sour grapes universe is worse than our own, if only slightly, and therefore you must accept that such evil would be uneccessary. However, I can use the argument you are using right now on our universe on the sour grapes universe, saying that the existence of sour grapes increases our enjoyment of non-sour ones, or that our bravery in continuing to eat sour grapes imparts some moral virtue, or that, really, our surprise at biting into a sour grape is an indelible part of the fabric we call life, and really we wouldn't want to mess with that, now would we? After all, this is the only life we can imagine, sour grapes and all. How could it possibly be better? I hope you see the problem here. You are looking at our world and applying the conclusion that there is a good deity controlling it, then trying to justify what you see based upon that conclusion. You aren't imagining other alternatives, and you certainly aren't considering that maybe your initial conclusions are wrong. You start with the axiom "A tri-omni exists," and you are torturing logic to make that conclusion fit reality. I am not. I see a world where torture and pain are commonplace, where people can die, and die horribly. I see a world with the sourest possible grape, that of the inevitability of our own demise. I take what I see, and I start there. I build upon what I can know to be true, and I have ultimate faith in very little. And from that, I construct a worldview where there is no god. Nobody to save us. No. No, saving humanity? That is our job.

  • Chyna Weber

    > So you would then, assert that salvation is an act against the free will of man, yes? The impartation of eternal life is independent of man's fallen will. Salvation is not a function of the will of man. The exclusion of the human will in eternal salvation is explicitly taught in the word of God. "it is not of him that willeth" (Romans 9:16) and we are born "not of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man" (John 1:13). > That God elects specific men to salvation meanwhile not electing others, yes? Election unto eternal salvation is the explicit teaching of the word of God. "According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved." (Ephesians 1:4-6) These elect are referred to over and over again in scripture: Matthew 24:22,24,31; Mark 13:20,22,27; Luke 18:7, Romans 8:33, Colossians 3:12, II Timothy 2:10, Titus 1:1, I Peter 1:2, 2:6; II John 1:1,13. To deny the biblical doctrine of the election of grace is to turn a blind eye to one of the most plainly revealed truths in the word of God. Failure to embrace this truth will lead to innumerable downstream errors in one's doctrine of eternal salvation and philosophy of ministry. > Those who do not receive election are then bound for hell against their will, yes? There is no "receiving" of election. God imparts eternal life to his people via immediate holy spirit regeneration by direct divine fiat - "Verily, verily, I say unto you, The hour is coming, and now is, when the dead shall hear the voice of the Son of God: and they that hear shall live." (John 5:25) This is done in accordance with a covenant promise of God to send his spirit to his chosen sons which gives them the faith to believe - "And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father." (Galatians 4:6) > (But their will in this instance matters not since God elected them to their will). Man's fallen will is TOTALLY UNWILLING to follow God. That is because his carnal mind is enmity against God (Romans 8:7). He has no thought of God, because the pride of his countenance will not allow him to seek after God (Psalm 10:4). He cannot do anything good, like repent and believe the truth (Romans 3:10-12) and he has no fear of God (Romans 3:18). It is for this reason that man's will is incapable of being instrumental in determining his eternal destiny. That said, God's regenerating grace that gives his chosen sons his spirit whereby they cry Abba Father, changes their will by imparting to them new desires and sensibilities - beatitudes such as poor in spirit regarding their sin, meekness, a hunger and thirst for righteousness, etc. (Matthew 5) God's regenerating grace changes man's will so that he is willing to follow after God which prior to regeneration he was utterly incapable of doing. Stated plainly, by the time you see someone with a sincere desire to follow Christ, they are already in a state of possessing eternal life, else they would be enmity against God (Romans 8:7). That is a critical observation. > Because that sounds like Calvinisim (absolutism, as you call it). All of those items you mentioned are believed by many Calvinists. But none of those items establish the absolute predestination of all things (Absolutism). That is a separate matter. You are correct that many Calvinists (essentially all Calvinists) believe in Absolutism. You are also correct that this belief undeniably makes God the author of sin - though Calvinists/Absoluters violently oppose that unavoidable logical ramification of Absolutism. You and I are very much in agreement on that point. That is one of many reasons why Primitive Baptists are NOT Absoluters and why we are not Calvinists. PBs affirm election and predestination as it relates to the salvation of God's chosen people, but we reject the idea that God has absolutely predestinated every event in history that ever comes to pass, including the commission of sin, because such a view CLEARLY makes God the author of sin to any reasonable observer. > You can use whatever fine and fancy words you like, but this is Calvinism One must use words to accurately represent what people believe and at times this gets pretty nuanced. Biblical truth is not all equally easy to understand (II Peter 3:16) and precision of language and an appreciation for that is at times required to have a proper understanding of biblical truth. To just insist that "everyone who believes in election and denies free-will in salvation is a Calvinist and that they therefore make God the author of sin" is just incorrect for the reasons I've given. Your coarse definition unnecessarily conjoins Absolutism with Election in a way that is unnecessary. You should give that more consideration because ones these things are no longer conjoined, your objection based on God being the author of sin is also nullified. This should cause you to consider the possibility that there is a resolution to the theological problem that resides in a more nuanced position than either "free-willism" or "Absoluter Calvinism" possess. That rightly divided position is the doctrine of the Primitive Baptist church - which permits the notion of "free will" while biblically excluding it from how one obtains eternal life, and which affirms election and predestination without affirming the absolute predestination of all things which makes God the author of sin. I invite you to give the matter more consideration. > and it flies in the face of the free gift that God has offered to all men. [Salvation is not an "offered gift"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3cDQSyluj8) it is a covenantal accomplishment of Christ. That is because man in his fallen state is utterly incapable of accepting such an offer. His "carnal mind is enmity against God" (Romans 8:7) not "willing to receive God's gift of forgiveness." At the end of the day, your doctrine of salvation insists upon man exercising capacities that he does not have in order to ratify the blood of Christ on their behalf, because Christ's blood in and of itself does not have any power to save anybody at all. That is an incredibly blasphemous notion if you will pause long enough to really consider it. Say this phrase a few times.... "The blood of Christ accomplishes absolutely NOTHING by itself." Roll that around in your head for a little while and embrace it - it is truly what you believe. Now go read Romans 8:31-39 which establishes the absolute efficacy of Christ's blood in accomplishing the salvation of his people. What I have just showed you should give you considerable pause with respect to the doctrine you believe, IMO. May God bless our studies and understanding of his word, TETH

  • Vincenzo Fadel

    [–]iopha 2560 points 4 years ago*x6 Hi Unsuremother, First, off, though I am an atheist myself, I want to empathize a little: this must be difficult for you and your family. Your faith commitment is an important part of your life and it is bewildering to have your own child turn away from this. I don't know exactly what you believe, but you might be worried about his soul in the next life, or his behaviour in this one. If you don't believe in God, how do you know right from wrong? If you reject God, how will you be reunited with Him in the next Kingdom? The most important thing to understand is that these kinds of concerns, while very vivid and real to you, only make sense within a belief system your son no longer accepts. There is no sense in making threats of Hell or damnation anymore: atheists do not believe such a place exists. We don't believe such a place could exist. The thing that is important to remember is that while we no longer believe that there are places beyond the world, the world he lives in has now become all the more important. That's all we have. That's all we ever have. His world is family, and school, and friends: all these things structure his life and he will need them more than ever. He needs you. He's still a kid, and he's a kid dealing with Really Big Questions in the only way he can: honestly and critically. Most of us have come to this point honestly. This must be emphasized. We're not angry at God, we're not trying to get attention or going through some cultural phase. We looked at the arguments on both sides and came to the best conclusion we could. We only have 70 odd years on this planet. We make mistakes, too; we are fallible creatures prone to error and haste. We do our best. And sometimes our best is 'well, I don't think any of this is right.' I don't pretend to have all the answers. I don't rightly know where the universe came from, or how life began at first. But I don't need all the answers to know that some answers are the wrong ones. I don't know, and I don't think Christians, or Muslims, or Taoists know either. They claim to know; I claim to not know. Suppose I'm wrong. Suppose your son is wrong. I'm standing outside the pearly gates and St. Peter, or God Himself, gives me one chance to explain myself. What would I say except "I'm sorry--I got it wrong. I really tried. But I got it wrong. I saw all the different religions, each saying different things, all changing over time. It seemed just a part of human culture, not ultimate truth. I saw unnecessary suffering and couldn't make heads or tails of it, if you were good and all-powerful. It didn't make sense to me to posit something existing to explain existence: that gets it backwards. I'm sorry, God, that I didn't believe in you, but it wasn't malicious--I just--I just screwed up." What would Jesus say to that? Would he send me to suffer forever? Do I deserve to be tortured eternally because I read Lucretius as a young man--the 2,000 year old Roman poet who professed his atheism before Christ ever walked desert sand? Because I looked at the ontological argument and found it wanting? Or would he press me to Him and forgive me? And wouldn't I desire that forgiveness---? If there is a God that would send me to Hell for making this mistake, I don't want it in my life. Nothing justifies torture. Nothing at all. And He would not be worthy of worship--or even respect. If He is merciful, then I will apologize. If I am right--and he doesn't exist--then I live my life as a free man. And that is how atheists live: under actual freedom. The German philosopher Nietzsche wrote that 'freedom is responsibility'--genuine freedom. I am responsible for the consequences of my actions. So: how do I live? What do I do? Do I want to live in a society where everyone does what they can get away with? What standards do I hold myself up to? This is the essence of the atheist's morality: his freedom, his rationality. Before even Lucretius wrote his atheistic treatise De Rerum Natura, there was another man, Socrates, who asked a simple and startling question: Does God say something is Good because it is good, or is something good because God says it is? We must be careful here. If what is good is whatever God says is good, then we have no morality at all, but caprice. If God says: kill your son! it is good to kill your son. If God says: from henceforth, children shall be murdered--then it is good, by definition, that children be murdered. But that's not morality. That's authoritarianism. And if you say: "But God would never do that," I ask: why? Because if there is a reason, then goodness is independent from God after all. It is grounded elsewhere. In what? Well: maybe in reason itself? Or maybe morality is just part of the universe--a different kind of part, not like your sofa or TV or the moon is part of the universe, but the way numbers, or relations (like 'equal to')--an abstract object, none less the real. There is a very, very long tradition of ethical thinking that is, in fact, older than Christianity itself. In philosophy classes we teach wisdom that was recorded a millennium before Christ. If it is impossible to be good without God, there wouldn't be one virtuous atheist. Yet there are millions of us non-religious men and women on the planet, and we live our lives, as best we can. Atheists don't fill the newspapers with tales of carnage or debauchery--clearly we can figure it out on our own. Well. Not quite on our own. We have each other. No one else--just each other. And that's enough. So be there for your son. All the best. Edit: Wow, I didn't expect the level of response! I'm reading every thread, every reply. Thanks everyone. I'm blown away. And extra thanks to Jibblewobble & Psynaptics for the reddit gold :D' Edit 2: I stand corrected on the Tao, thanks TMM; GraharG brings up an interesting point about the epistemology of non-belief; Staterelig challenges my reading of Lucretius and Socrates; hornedJ4GU4RS provides the exact Nietzsche quote that I was too lazy to look up at the time. Again, thank you to the generous Redditors who gave me Gold. I don't need any more, but if you are feeling in a generous mood, consider giving to Doctors Without Borders instead!

  • Lemuel Larson

    >I am a liberal Christian, and the area where I live is largely Republican Christians. Especially after this election, I feel uneasy about republican policies, which has affected the way I view my neighbors. So I legitimately want to see republicans in a better light. That said... Let me guess, something-isms are coming >I don't believe you can be a strong republican and a good Christian, because I believe the values are incompatible--nearly opposite of was Jesus taught, in fact. I summary, Jesus taught love and acceptance. Even of your enemies. He taught forgiveness over punishment, even forgiving capital offenses. He commended the poor, showed compassion to the poor, and chastised the rich (or those seeking for wordly gain.) Jesus loved everyone, he forgave the sinners AND THEN TOLD THEM TO STOP SINNING! "Hey, look I know you're a whore, but you're forgiven so go now and sin no more k? k." Republicans show compassion to poor by donating to charities, NOT using government to keep the poor in a perpetual state of being afraid that "mean old republicans are going to make you starve by taking away your foodstamps" >He taught to put others first. Republicans fight very hard to put themselves first. To protect themselves, and make sure they gain and keep everything they think they are entitled too. Jesus taught that if someone has something against you, then you fight to fix it (not fight against them.) Republicans are the ones that make sure they gain and keep everything they **think* they're entitled to? What the hell is free college education, UBI, and FREE HAELTHCAIR GUIZ? >Ultimately, the real problem I see is that Republicans tend to be very self-focused, and concerned with protecting themselves, with a disturbing lack of compassion for others. How do you reconcile this with Christianity? Because Christ told US THE INVIDIVUAL TO BE COMPASSIONATE YOU TWIT, He did not teach "VOTE IN POLITICIANS TO TAKE MONEY VIA TAXES TO GIVE OUT TO POOR FOLKS" just because republicans don't want the government to force everyone to "help" the poor doesn't mean we don't want to help the poor. >One exception I see is that Republicans are more likely to fight to protect unborn children, which is in the nature of protecting others. I realize that we often tend to define the "other side" in politics by the WORST kind of people in that group. And I assume this taints my view. ok >Lastly, when Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, he essentially answered "love." Doubly so. So if someone's argument or scriptural evidence is not based in love, I will dismiss it as not fitting my view of Christianity. I'm not open to changing that view, as it is the basis for my personal belief system. Today's **love** is just a portion of what actual love is. True Love is telling a person something they may not want to hear, but doing it because that person needed to know. It's disciplining your child, spanking whatever, when they need to be taught what they did was wrong and could result in a lot more pain than what they just felt. Today's love is like that 1 movie "50 first dates" i believe, where she has amnesia and she thinks it's always the same day so the entire town just repeats everything over and over and over and over, that's not love, that's playing into someone's delusions because you don't want to make them feel bad. (such as saying "masturbating is natural, or being gay isn't wrong" is NOT what love is) >Edit: There are getting to be more responses than I can respond to. So let me summarize a few common thoughts. I believe the No True Scotsman fallacy does no apply here. It is an oversimplification that ignores the purpose of this post. I like the idea that Republicans may simply try to go about helping others in a different way. It is still difficult for me to ignore those who don't really want to help others, and claim to be Christian. I admit to being hypocritical. That is why I started this thread. I realize I am beginning to view Republicans very negatively and I think it needs remedied, because it doesn't sit well with my views. That said, my hypocrisy is irrelevant to whether Republican ideology is consistent with Christian ideology, or compatible. There seem to be assumptions that I must necessarily be judgmental, but this is about my observation of facts, and whether I have interpreted them correctly. Lastly, if you want to debate here, you will need to accept my definition of Christianity. I have defined it, knowing that people will disagree, because it is the burden of the OP (in formal debate) to define terms, and this thread will be a mess without a working definition of Christianity. I view the correctness of that definition to be beyond the scope of this thread. The issue here, is whether Republican ideology conflicts with MY view of Christianity. Thanks for all of the thoughts so far. I tend to be blunt in expressing my opinions, but I don't mean anyone disrespect. The problem is that your definition of Christianity is skewed, "love" is the greatest commandment "of these", but what you consider "love" is more like playing into delusions such as "oh it's ok, you have a penis but you think you're a girl so I'll call you female now" because you don't want to "judge" others sin. Judging sin is not the same as discerning sin, I can say porn and masturbation is a sin, sex outside of marriage is a sin, am i judging? No. Does it mean I haven't done those things? No. Remember, if there were no hypocrites in Church, there'd be no one in Church... THAT"S THE POINT OF CHRISTIANITY

  • Diego Beer

    > I'm sure he was in extreme pain and in fear of death. That doesn't mean he was delusional. It doesn't mean he was not. It's obviously a volatile mindset to be in. It's fight or flight...but you are incapable of either. > I don't understand what you mean. (As a larger issue, it would help me to understand you if you could be more specific with what your particular arguments mean for the general conversation. Thank you!) The criminal dying, nailed to a plank of wood was really, actually, truly sorry. As opposed to not actually being repentant and just saying he was because he was pretty much doomed. If I'm certain to die and some sort of salvation is offered...hey...why not? Pascals Wager. What's the downside at that point? Wasting your last couple hours on earth saying "I'm sorry" instead of doing what as you slowly die? It's not like he was sacrificing much. It wasn't a choice between repenting and say...tons of cash and sexy women. My questions are obviously rhetorical, this paragraph is explanatory. >> Whatever got his arrested and executed? How does this not matter? > It does matter. If he hadn't acknowledged it and hadn't expressed regret for it, it would've been a different story. >> This view is to say that what the thief did previously did not matter because he repented. But then whenever I insist that anyone should be able to do the same...Christians argue this is not true. > Well, I don't know what their particular arguments are. The Catholic understanding, and in my view the right understanding, is that if we sin, genuinely confess and repent, are sins are forgiven. We may still need to "do some time" (purgatory) but by repenting we are saved from hell. >> If this dying criminal can repent and be saved, why not ax murder your enemies and then just repent before the police gun you down? The answer will ultimately be "that doesn't count, it's not genuine." > Good point. If your plan all along is "I'll do it and then regret it" then it would seem you don't really regret it. Right? This is where I say "How can you know?" and you say "I don't pretend to know, that is for god to decide." It boils down to believing that this criminal really regretted it and anyone else would not. This is faith. It is a realm I cannot go. It is not a place where discussions like this can exist. Getting back to objective standards, you previous summed up the standard thusly: 1. he expresses his belief in God 2. he acknowledges his own sin 3. he asks for Christ to remember him (forgiveness) This was the standard. Then when I mentioned the rich man here came part 4. "*However, the issue with the young rich man is that he put his money above God. What did the penitent thief put before God? Not even his own life.*" So let's amend it. 1. he expresses his belief in God 2. he acknowledges his own sin 3. he asks for Christ to remember him (forgiveness) 4. he puts god before himself for the couple hours before he dies while nailed to a plank of wood. Now, to you, this rich man living a whole rest of his life without money and this criminal living the next few hours putting god before himself...which practically speaking is doing *nothing.* Dude is nailed to a plank of wood. Options are rather limited. This, to you, is equal. It's an objective comparison. Now, all that I can do from here is keeping adding people into the mix. I can add King David, then Jephthah, then Lot and keep going until this 4 ideas standards turn into a dozen and you spend an hour equating the different lives of these different earth bound people as all fulfilling the same standard of salvation. But to me...this would be a waste of time. It's clear that a criminal repenting at the last minute being heaven bound because he "put god first" for a few hours is not by any logical measure superior to a rich man who followed the commandments but was not willing to go poor. > I guess I would need to know more about the mental disposition of this ax murderer. Because a raging ax murderer can meet the standard, because it's not about utilizing a logical measure. >> But this presumes this criminal was geniune. This is not something you can prove. You must first insist that he could not be disingenuine because god cannot be fooled, then use that faith based premise to argue that this criminal being allowed into heaven is consistent with the rules of salvation. > I think you're right that the penitent thief is only saved if he is genuine. I don't really understand what the rest of this portion is saying. Are you saying I need to prove that God cannot be fooled? Why? The criminal is certainly saved because Jesus said he was. That criminal is in heaven if you take what Jesus said literally. As for proving god cannot be fooled, that is a faith based view. Faith is not a realm I can enter. God is unfoolable because he is by your definition all knowing. If I wanted to argue god wasn't all knowing by pointing at the story of Job...then asking why enter into a wager god knew the outcome of...then you would likely insist it was for a particular purpose. Then I would point out that god entered into a deal it knew would result in the permanent death of Jobs children. At which point you would say that god replaced the children, hence it is ok, and besides god letting Job's children die is ultimately a good thing because god cannot ever sin...god is be defintion the source of all morality. So we would then be back at faith...faith in god's perfect goodness. When god is defined to be certain things, then anything against it will always be moot.

  • Brando Wisozk

    Yes, you were wrongly taught the gospel. In Jesus own words He says that everyone who believes in Him will not perish or be sent to Hell, but will have everlasting life. Do you believe in Jesus Christ the resurrected Son of God? If you do, then be relieved, the Bible promises that "neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38 There is a reason that you believe, a reason why you rededicated your life to the Lord, it's because you're a child of God and the Holy Spirit has convicted your heart and mind about who Jesus truly is. I have been depressed recently too and it sucks, especially since I have no one to talk to about my problems, but I always know that God is 100% good and 100% loves me no matter what, it's impossible to question those things because He already showed us how much He loves all of us in sending His Son to die for us so that we could become His children by faith. He's not taking that back, His love was already revealed through His Son. I believe you are struggling with those sins because you don't understand the grace of God, in that we are forgiven of our sins when we believe in Jesus Christ, that forgiveness happened at the cross, if you are a born-again believer, then you are a saint according to Paul's letters in the Bible, your spirit has been perfected because it was united with Christ when you believed, and Christ is perfect. While we may still sin in our flesh, Paul teaches us not to regard anyone according to the flesh and that because of what Jesus did on the cross, there is peace with God for everyone, and those who believe can enter into a right-standing relationship with their Father in Heaven. We are saved by grace and faith, like it says in Ephesians 2:8 "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God." Grace is by definition undeserved or unmerited, meaning that if you have to do something to be saved other than have faith in Jesus Christ, then you are taking grace out of the equation and it loses its power to help you overcome sin. Salvation = Grace + Faith (Good) Salvation = Grace + Faith + Stop Sinning (Works) Here is the proper equation I believe: Salvation = Grace + Faith = Stop Sinning We stop sinning because of grace and by faith, we are not told to stop sinning to be saved, if we had to do something other than believe to be saved, then it's no longer a free gift from God as the Bible teaches. You are bored in Church because Christian churches have been corrupted by religion. Read about what church is supposed to look like in the book of Acts (hint: they spend most of their time outside of the building helping people). Church is also boring because it lacks spiritual and supernatural power. In the Bible, they were always backing up their sermons with healings and other manifestations of power, that sounds like an exciting church to me! None-the-less, church is good for you because it's important to fellowship with other believers, iron sharpens iron and you are who your friends are, surround yourself with people headed in the right direction and it will begin to slowly change the course of your life. There is a story in 1 Corinthians 5 that blows my mind. I think it will bring you some peace knowing that there was someone in the early church doing something way worse than you and while it seems he suffered greatly because of it (death I think), Paul still believed "his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord." That is because when our spirits are born-again the day we accept Jesus, we become children of God, forever. >1 Corinthians 5:1 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife. 2 And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you. >3 For though absent in body, I am present in spirit; and as if present, I have already pronounced judgment on the one who did such a thing. 4 When you are assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus, 5 you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.

  • Aidan Corkery

    That my sister's are being complete and total bitches. And I hate to use that word, but let me tell you fine folks about what's going and I'm sure you'll agree. So, on January 1, 2016 I got a phone call from my mom and two younger sisters that my parents were getting divorced. The long-skinny of it all is that my father is leaving my mom after 36 years of marriage for someone who is just only a few years older than me. He's 55 and she's 39 whereas I'm 35... My mom didn't want this happen of course, she loved my dad and had three kids with him, and you can't just turn it off. But over time we found out that my dad had been lying about a half-brother for the last 27 years. And there's so much more that I could write a novel, but I could believe my therapist when she says my dad sounds like a narcissistic sociopath. So anyway, through all of this traumatic shit my mom has done nothing wrong. Outside of trusting my father and trying to save their marriage. My youngest sister is the coldest and meanest woman you'll ever meet. I have no idea where she got this behavior from. But as an example, over 10 years one of my aunts teased something along the lines of, "it's okay, we all dress like a skank sometimes." (she was dressed like a slut at a grocery store) My sister hasn't spoken to her or my grandmother (grandma lives with this aunt) since then, they even sent her flowers to apologize and the next morning they woke up to the flowers crammed back in their mailbox. Before the divorce my father had to sneak over my nephew because otherwise my grandmother would not have ever met her youngest great-grandchild. My grandmother also had a stroke recently and we really didn't think she would pull through. Both my sister and her husband work in the same hospital where my grandmother was staying and when she asked to see them, the didn't go and visit. There really is no excuse for this kind of behavior, you would have thought that these people were abusive by the way she treats them. And the only thing my family is guilty of is being white trash. My other sister isn't well, like mentally, and I have some sympathy for her. We were both molested by the same older cousins (not at the same time) and we've both had our issues dealing with that. That and she's basically the sole bread winner of her house, her husband is the very definition of useless and she's stuck raising four kids instead of three. So, when says that she "doesn't want to deal with it," I get it. But she could at a minimum show some god damn compassion. So with all that out of the way, neither of my sisters have spoken with my mom since last August. They're are using their children as punishment and not letting my mother visit with them. Why? Well when my mom was visiting one day before they stopped talking, she opened my mom's iPad and started reading her emails to my father. My youngest sister didn't like the way my mom was carrying on and said that mom should have just left him a long time ago. My mom was incensed at the invasion of privacy, they got an argument and haven't spoken since. My sisters are now doing this circle jerk thing where they're convinced we were emotionally neglected as children and my parents are both awful people and they will never see any of their grandchildren again. I'm more than livid with them as you can imagine, my mom is the victim in all this and they can't even show the smallest amount of empathy or forgiveness. That and using your children as weapons to punish your parents is scummy as fuck. They didn't even call my mom on Christmas. While they were spending time with their kids, and my dad spent time with his new family, my mom spent Christmas alone. It absolutely broke my heart to call my mom and listen to her cry. But I guess I'm at least glad that I can be there as a should to cry on when needed. The whole thing has my head spinning and I'm going to have to have a talk with my sisters. But I know if I confront confront them, I'll be seen as taking sides against them and be cut off as well. Without my *neutral* status my mother wouldn't be able to see any pictures of the kids. I really don't know what to do about it all at this point. I suspect I should just tell them how I feel and if they cut me then that's on them. All that said, I think at this point *bitch* is too polite a word.

  • Wallace Bergnaum

    I don't think I was being unfair to the Nobody case. The point of the analysis was that if they went with that they would need to introduce other themes as the more major ones wouldn't apply. The writers of TFA very much agree that the theme of 'a great hero can come from anywhere' is an important and interesting theme to explore. That's why they introduced Finn, that's one of *his* major themes. His other themes are 'Family is who you choose them to be' and 'Our choices decide our fate not our origins.' He's also the definition of a nobody. Stormtroopers in the OT were all nameless faceless canon fodder and the First Order strips them of their individuality and identity even more. Finn didn't even have a name until Poe gave him one. He really makes a nice compare and contrast with a lot of other Star Wars main characters. A large part of why I don't want Rey to be a nobody is that she would steal his thunder and take away what makes him such a unique interesting character. I've heard the Luke Killing Rey's parents theory and I was going to include it in this analysis, but I dropped it as the post was already getting so long I didn't think anyone would bother to read it. Here's what I had: The main thing to note is that if Luke killed her family it was because they were *very* bad people. Luke doesn't kill people unless he has very good reason to believe they are putting his life or someone else's life in danger. Jedi use the Force for defense never attack. Also if he realizes that he killed her family he's going to break that to her as gently as possible. Themes: Duality of good and evil: Rey good born on the Dark side vs. Kylo evil born on the light side (if her parents were dark side users), Rey from an obscure family vs. Kylo from a prominent family (Unless her parents were Jabba the Hutt level prominent gangsters or something) Birthright Destiny: If her parents were dark side users this only works if she falls to the dark side. I guess if they were criminals it would work if she became a criminal as well. Reconciliation between Parents and children: Not applicable as her parents are dead Anakin: Kylo carries this theme alone as Rey has no relation to Anakin Identities: Her new identity of being a Jedi clashes with her new name from a pair of people who in some way opposed the Jedi. She either embraces the name and rejects Luke and the Jedi or she embraces being a Jedi and rejects the name. Other potential themes: Forgiveness: Rey forgiving Luke for what he did to her parents and Luke forgiving himself for his actions leaving her without a family Potential effects on character growth and relationships: Rey has to come to grips with the fact that her family is gone and that her new teacher is directly responsible for their demise. Rey could forgive Luke or she could reject him in anger and leave. Even if she forgives him I think it is likely to continue to have a damaging effect or their relationship. You can forgive someone for what they did, but that doesn't mean it stops hurting. She might be willing to have him as a teacher and an ally but it would likely take a long time for her to be willing to see him as anything more than that. Or she could completely absolve Luke of all guilt and focus her anger on her parents for choosing a life of wickedness over their daughter or she could just develop an unfocused anger at the unfairness of life in general, possibly some combination of all three. If she distances herself emotionally from Luke that might extend to Leia. Kylo could try to use this to tempt Rey to the dark side. Conflicts: Internal for Rey about how she feels about Luke, Luke vs. Rey though I'm sure Luke would do everything in his power to mitigate this, he doesn't want to lose another apprentice. Rey vs. Leia, some arguing if Leia agrees that Luke killing Rey's parents was the right thing to do but probably nothing violent. Kylo vs. Rey could potentially see lessened conflict as he tries to tempt her to join him.

  • Johanna Tremblay

    Please forgive me for not taking your questions seriously. To begin we need to establish two facts about God’s character and define good and evil. * God is Good (Mark 10:18) * God cannot do evil (James 1:13) Man’s definition of good and evil are not the same as God’s definition of good and evil. Only through discernment is man able to recognize good and evil (Romans 12:2, 1 Thessalonians 5:21). We are called to trust in the Lord and not to depend solely on our understanding (Proverbs 3:5) If you do not trust God, no justification I provide will be sufficient for you. > Commanded/sanctioned/divine killings: * The flood: Mankind was wicked except Noah (Genesis 6:5-8) * Egyptian first born: God created a separation between the Israel and Egypt (Exodus 11) * Amalekites: Punishment for how they treated Israel while leaving Egypt (1 Samuel 15:2) * Inter-tribal warfare (several accounts of 100,000s of people dying): Testing of Israel (Judges 3:1-4) * Jericho: God promised the land to Abraham’s descendants (Deuteronomy 34: 1-4) * Amorites: The Amorites where wicked (2 Kings 21:11) > Racial purity: * Deuteronomy 7:1-4 * Ezra 9 and 10 God desires His people to be set apart (holy) from other nations because of the Covenant He made with Abraham, and the sins of those nations. (Deuteronomy 7:1-11) > Capital punishment: * Homosexual intercourse * Bestiality * Daughter of a priest that practices prostitution * Adultery These are all categorized as sexual immorality (Leviticus 18) which is a sin and the wages of sin is death (Proverbs 10:16, Romans 6:23. > * Disobeying parents This reflects back to the 5th Commandment. Disobeying any of the 10 Commandments reflect a sinful heart, again the wages for sin are death. If you do not believe in God you cannot trust God to be good and will interpret his actions with your own understanding. When you believe God will transform your mind to be like mind of Christ (Romans, 12: 2, 1 Corinthians 2:16) > God and human son-ship/daughter-ship is completely different than a father/mother and their children's relationship God is good, cannot do evil. As a father/mother I can do evil, I can mislead my child and my child then can reject me because of the evil I commit. A man cannot reject God because of evil committed by God because God cannot do evil. > Observing the law, does not mean that they had a sinless heart. > No, but it does mean they were right with god under the old covenant. Which is what you said, "right standing with him". Obeying the law alone does not put a man in right standing with God. The Pharisees knew and practiced the law perfectly yet Jesus called them hypocrites for not obeying God. (Matthew 15:1-14). > God knows the heart of every man, and if He chooses to revoke the life He gave them, can He not do it? > In theory sure. It would be immoral, but there is nothing stopping him from killing humans. Makes you wonder what morality means if god isn't bound by the same moral law. God keeps the covenants he makes with people. God wants relationship from us, not obedience. His holy character prevents him from engaging in a relationship with sinners. When a person sins they break the covenant with God and accept the consequences of death knowingly or unknowingly. God made a way to reconcile sinners back to Himself through the death of a sinless man Jesus. When a person accepts Jesus their all of their sins are forgiven thus allowing relationship with God. When believers commit sins, they grieve God and must seek forgiveness (similar to hurting your spouse’s feelings and seeking reconciliation)

  • Dominic Tillman

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  • Ulises Will

    > I think humans are quite entitled to believe that God owes us anything at all. Why? If Yahweh is the creator, wouldn't he have some moral obligation to help his creation succeed? Does a parent have an obligation to their children? Can a child be upset if his parents left it at the age of 1 never to return? > He could easily and justly have held us accountable for our sins. It could have easily and justly not created sin in the first place. Sin is an action in the game that Yahweh created. > Yet God loved us What makes you say that? Is it because in the bible it says that god loves us? > had the mercy to grant us the means to reconcile with Him I don't have the means to reconcile with something I think is a fictional character. If Yahweh is real, then I wasn't granted mercy because of the hiddenness of this being. > Imagine you murdered a man and were obviously guilty of this horrible crime. You are caught, tried and found guilty of this crime and you are sentenced to death. The night before you are to be executed, the father of the man you killed comes to you and tells you that he forgives you. You wake up in the morning to find that while it was you who were meant to be executed, the father of the man you killed took the punishment instead. That's not just forgiveness that is a blatant sacrifice made out of nothing but love and mercy. This story is not moral. The fact that this father forgave him and was killed on his behalf does not remove the guilt and need for punishment by the offender. You're using the exact same example I would use except, I'd change it only slightly: instead of the father coming down, the father has another son, and then forces that son to be killed. Just as I should not be punished for the crime of my father, so to should another not be punished for something I did. Take ownership for your actions. Just because someone might have died on a cross 2000 years ago does not mean that you are free from responsibility of your actions. > I'd say the issue with questions such as these is that they display how you humanise God to a certain extent. It's not our fault. The Torah "humanises" Yahweh all the time. There are physical properties (moses spoke face-to-face with Yahweh, Adam walked in the garden with Yahweh, has a strong arm used to get the Hebrews out of Egypt...); he has emotions (anger, love, regret, jealousy...); Moreover, it's stated that we're created in his image - so what's wrong with assuming his traits similar to our traits either physical or mental? > God is the definition of what is good and He is thus infallible Is this because god is defined in this book as good and infallible? Do you have any other reason for such a claim? If Zeus was defined in the mythology as good and infallible would one not be able to make the same claim? > because He is the truth What does this REALLY mean? It's absolutely meaningless to me. A thing cannot be truth. > The name of the Lord is used often and liberally in this sub in a vain effort to be derisive. Not to be derisive but because Yahweh is just a character in a fictional narrative; I use it in the exact same way you use Odin or Zeus. What is the difference? > "I AM" in Hebrew, because God is eternal, all knowing, all good, all powerful and is perfect. I am =/= eternal, all knowing, all good, all powerful and is perfect. That is some baseless interpretation you use. > are those who don't believe in Him to begin with. Perhaps. Perhaps some do believe in him and see his actions as immoral and not worth worshipping. I do it as I would any fictional character that is immoral, like the character of Yahweh in the OT. What you said was contested and found wanting.

  • Casandra Weimann

    I still don't know what you're looking for here, but I'll take your question at face value. Most women DON'T start out willing to forgive the husband and the affair, and in this sub (and elsewhere) you'll find many destroyed marriages. For those who do forgive, the straying husband (or wife as the case may be) usually went through a series of stages to rebuild trust. Some common ones are immediately cutting the AP out of his life, re-committing to his spouse, re-committing to the house/marriage/children in general, apologizing repeatedly for the devastation he has caused, showing genuine remorse in both words and actions, and going into marriage counseling or individual therapy to figure out what need the affair was serving and how he can work on that and change his behavior. Reading this sub I've heard multiple stories of a WS changing jobs, overcoming substance abuse, or the couple moving into a new home or to a new city -- changes that would be major with or without the affair serving as a catalyst. It's also common for the WS to develop a better relationship with his children post-discovery. Assuming the relationship started out on solid ground and the couple still feels love and affection toward each other, these gestures mean a lot and can at minimum repair some of the damage and, best case scenario, build an even stronger, more honest and intimate relationship than they had even *before* he started cheating. The WS has just committed a huge fuck-up, but by admitting everything to his wife and apologizing, he's leaving himself open to her hurt, anger, and judgement. Coming back from that leaves BOTH parties vulnerable, and once they've experienced that together -- a journey that can take years -- it can become a shipwreck-survivor experience that builds an even more solid relationship than they had in the first place. Stronger, even, than couples who were never tested in this way. I'm certainly not saying this happens in every case. But I've seen examples of it on this sub, and elsewhere. It happens. Meanwhile: What did the AP do to help the betrayed spouse move forward? Pretty much nothing. So yes, I hold the spouse equally and usually much more responsible for HAVING the affair, compared to the AP. But if the spouse is truly committed to saving the relationship, they'll do a TON of work to correct the situation. The AP, in contrast, usually disappears without offering any kind of apology. Either that or they'll stick around and make a nuisance of themselves. I've seen no examples of an AP doing anything sincere that would help the spouse to heal. The whole notion of "forgiveness" is predicated on the guilty party recognizing how they hurt someone, making amends as best they can, and the "wronged" party recognizing those efforts. Some (by no means all) spouses are willing to put in that work, because their spouse's forgiveness is valuable enough to them that they want to earn it. APs, almost by definition, think of the wife as a non-person and don't lift a finger to hold themselves accountable or to try to make amends for the pain they've caused another person. I hope this answers your question.

  • Jana Nikolaus

    >Those are not communities, they are organisations. Communities have houses and stores and businesses and roads and so on. For one thing, let's go with your definition: Like [San Francisco](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_nudity_in_San_Francisco) maybe, where the community now caters so forcefully to not LGBT people, but the worst kinds of LGBT activists? Or maybe you mean [Charlotte NC](http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/03/north-carolina-lgbt-discrimination-transgender-bathrooms/475125/), where ordinances were passed to force businesses on the issue of transgendered bathroom access, as if purely to put the thumbscrews to these businesses a bit more? But the LGBT aspect is just part of things. I would be remiss if I didn't point out the sanctuary cities that privilege illegal immigrants over the resident citizens, [people who bring Swinger's clubs into the community](http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/local/crime/article/North-Texas-man-who-ran-swingers-parties-out-of-6863204.php) and more. Of course, I think the definition of 'community' is broader than that. I'll point at the Catholic-in-name colleges that started out with 'We have to be welcoming even to people who vociferously hate our mission and our church - golly gee willikers folks let's think of it as an opportunity to bring them to Christ' and has ended with Catholic colleges being the last place many Catholics should either send their children or attend, unless they want to experience some keen social pressure against their own churches. And, I'll note, that the end result of both of these things is 'communities where people shut their mouths about their Christian views on marriage or God or religion or abortion because that community is now hostile enough towards them that bringing those things up is a great way to experience property damage or being fired. Yes, I think Catholics, and others, have every right to look at their community and decide 'You know what, even though I'm a landlord, maybe it's my duty not to rent my property out to a strip club, a gay bar, an abortion clinic, or people who are going to promote these things in my own community.' >You are part of the reason they have the impression that the Church hates them and doesn't want them. First off, I'm bi, thank you. At the risk of the obvious joke, I know both sides of this story. I know both the LGBT activism and subculture scene, and the traditionalist Catholic downright extremist scene. The former is worse, by far. Second, I've seen enough communities die in my lifetime, complete with gents like yourself who forever are only capable of chiding loyal Catholics - but who manage to find an endless font of sympathy, forgiveness and mercy for even the most lunatic Dan Savage types, or the most anti-Catholic sorts of all stripes. I am part of the reason that people who are openly hostile to the Church get on edge, it's true. Good, they should be on edge, and they should know that people fight back. Your attitude, however, is precisely the thing that has killed communities, and in large part, the church. You have the attitude of someone standing over a shaking, defeated woman, who's trying to stem the flow of blood from her lip, angrily demanding why she has to go and upset her husband with talk about bills that need to be paid and how he needs to get a job. It's -her- fault, clearly.

  • Anita Hansen

    Don't let forgiveness be more important than your safety, health, and healing. It's an attractive thing to believe in -- you get to be the bigger person, all the old pain is washed away, whatever -- but it's not realistic or healthy to have that as a goal. Healing means understanding how she hurt you, mourning the mother you should have had, and going through all the pain of processing your trauma. When you were a kid, you probably stopped yourself from feeling your own feelings deeply, from acknowledging your own pain, because hers was all that mattered. So a lot of that repressed stuff will come up now that you're finally able to process it. It's a delayed reaction, and it's quite scary, especially to those of us who have been told that some of our feelings are bad or wrong (this is a lie -- feelings are always okay). No wonder so many people want to skip right to the comfortable end result of forgiveness. But how can you forgive someone for hurting you in ways you neither understand or acknowledge? That's just whitewashing. Some people say forgiveness is for you, not her. They say you let go of your negative feelings so you can move on. That's not something you can do without processing -- again, if you skip to the end and say "welp, I let that pain go," you're just repressing it. I understand this definition of forgiveness, but I think it's bogus, and it has victim-blaming, abuse-echoing elements. It's like telling a depressed person that they should just use positive thinking and then they'll be fine. So I like to think about acceptance, not forgiveness. My dad is Christian, and he buys into the toxic forgiveness thing because he's so terrified of his own emotions. (That's why he married my dBPD mother. She has all the feelings for him and he stays in control.) It enabled him to enable her to abuse us. Now, I'm not a Christian, but it seems like when Jesus was dying on the cross and said to God to forgive his killers, his sacrifice a) was ending, not continuing through years of abuse, and b) had a purpose beyond keeping an abuser happy. I could be wrong about that. I don't mean to tread on anyone's toes here. I'm Jewish and an atheist. But...point is, I can't believe in a god that would not only create BPD but then insist children of BPD parents forgive and stick with their abusers. So...there's my two cents on the forgiveness my dad's religion likes. (I don't mean Christianity or his specific sect, it's too individual a topic. I mean the Church of the Long-Suffering Enabler.) True courage requires vulnerability. You can't be brave if you're not scared. So face your anger and sorrow and pain and all those things you fear to admit you feel. Welcome them as friends. They won't take you over. They just want you to hear them. Only after you listen to them and honor what you went through as a child and young adult will you be free of the trauma, bit by bit, slowly. Forgiveness sounds nice, but it's not what you really need to do for yourself or for anyone else.

  • Jalon Hilpert

    Luke forgave his father, who also took part in genocide, killing millions more men, women, and children over the course of his life than Kylo has. Vader has even tortured Leia, destroyed her home planet and cut off Luke's arm. At the end of the day, it's not about what you or I _want_. Old Ben didn't _want_ Luke to forgive Vader either, but he did. It's really about what Han, Leia and Kylo want. And so far we've seen... - Leia: "There's still light in him, I know it." - Han: ([from the book](http://imgur.com/a/tEnCe)) _"Han forgave his son for what he had done. He prayed someday his son would forgive him in turn."_ His parents still love him, much like how Vader's son still loved him. Now it's just a matter of Kylo accepting the light in himself, and he's already discovered that killing Han did not free him. Driver has said, _["You will see more of Kylo Ren's '**humanity**' in Episode 8"](http://www.gamespot.com/articles/star-wars-episode-8-adam-driver-shares-new-details/1100-6446652/)._ How many ways can we interpret that word... From thesaurus.com: > **Main Entry:** humanity > > **Definition:** benevolence > > **Synonyms:** altruism, amity, love, affection, charity, **compassion**, empathy, feeling, friendship, generosity, goodness, goodwill, heart, kindheartedness, kindness, mercy, sympathy, forgiveness > All of those words are associated with the light side. **[From Lucas](https://www.cnet.com/news/whats-star-wars-about-in-a-word-george-lucas-explains/):** > "**Love people.** That's basically all 'Star Wars' is." **[Also from Lucas](https://www.reddit.com/r/starwarsspeculation/comments/5qmv0e/george_lucas_quotes_relevant_to_st_buckle_up_its/):** > "The third [trilogy will] deal with moral and philosophical problems," Lucas said in 1983. "In Star Wars, there is a very clear line drawn between good and evil. **Eventually you have to face the fact that good and evil aren't that clear-cut and the real issue is trying to understand the difference.** The sequel is about Jedi knighthood, justice, confrontation, and passing on what you have learned." **Oh lookie here, [Kylo feels compassion for Rey](https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/5qrtw4/compassion/dd1mlfb/) and Snoke is pissed** I'm not really talking about _how_ he'll get redeemed. I'm talking about _why_ it's the natural conclusion for him and fitting for what Lucas always intended.

  • Myron Johnston

    The research about women being happy is widely source. Studies were published showing this time and again. This is related to education insofar as it shows that people -- women, at least -- were happier as stay at home mothers, before third-wave feminism. Stay-at-home mothers were responsible for more of the oversight of children, since, by definition, they were at home with them. That has a direct impact on later education. (Ekman, 2003): "To grow up emotionally healthy, children under 3 need: A strong, reliable primary caregiver who provides consistent and unconditional love, guidance, and support. Safe, predictable, stable environments.Ten to 20 hours each week of harmonious, reciprocal interactions. This process, known as attunement, is most crucial during the first 6–24 months of infants' lives and helps them develop a wider range of healthy emotions, including gratitude, forgiveness, and empathy.Enrichment through personalized, increasingly complex activities." State-run facilities or daycares do not provide these. The 1954 test is not for homeschooling; neither was it meant to be. It shows that students were capable of MUCH more then than what they are being pushed to do now. Most adults could not complete that test and are 'low-information voters' when it comes to political decisions. Many do not even know who their elected leaders are. The Homeschooling website indicated -- literally in the first line -- that the studies were done by INDEPENDENT researchers, not by homeschooling sites. So it is not self-published. I still believe parents are the most effective and best predictor of their children's educational outcomes, and the research bears this out. "Recent evidence (Harris, 2006) suggests that the complex web of social relationships students experience—with peers, adults in the school, and family members—exerts a much greater influence on their behavior than researchers had previously assumed. This process starts with students' core relationships with parents or primary caregivers in their lives, which form a personality that is either secure and attached or insecure and unattached. Securely attached children typically behave better in school (Blair et al., 2008)." In other words, while money or lack can be a factor, much more significant is the parent's attitudes and behaviors towards any environmental factors. (Ben Carson's mother is a good example.) Your information about income seems to be a part of the soft-bigotry of low expectations. That is, you say, 'don't expect much from poor kids, they can't make it'. As a resident of a low-income neighborhood myself, I feel this is form of soft-bigotry. Parents are vitally important -- whether students are homeschooled or not.

  • Montana Larkin

    >When I got home from work yesterday he gave me the silent treatment. This is where my alarm bells went from "Ring Narc family Ring Ring" to BLARING FUCKING AIRSTRIKE SIRENS. This is a very bad sign. This is **not ok at all**. His tantrum about you being selfish is classic narc tactics. Reversal of victim, projection, shifting of blame. He makes himself the victim (even though you are the injured party), he is projecting ("YOU are selfish! Not me who is asking you to bear this shitty treatment, because **I** want to be comfortable!") and shifting blame ("If you weren't so ANGRY everything would be FINE"). >When we were dating he told me his mother hated all the girls he dated and he told her that he would never talk to her again if she ruined his chance with me because I was special. This fucker. This is also a very common tactic in abusers. Make the victim feel special. YOU are not like the OTHERS. This works especially well on people with low self-esteem, but also on everyone else. There's no one out there that doesn't like being special. >I know a relationship is about compromise but But, and this is a HUGE BUT! A compromise is BY DEFINITION **beneficial to BOTH SIDES**. The 'compromise' he's asking of you isn't beneficial or acceptable to you. No, it involves you getting the shit end of the stick. That's not a compromise. The fact that he is guilting you, pressuring you and outright silencing your complaints by withholding love is very very worrying. The more I reread your post, the more it looks like a big ol' communist parade, with all those red flags waving about. On forgiving: Forgiveness requires REMORSE. Forgiveness is preceeded by an earnest attempt of reconciliation. Narcs ask you for "a clean slate" or "forgiveness" or "a fresh start" and "moving on", because IT BENEFITS THEM. Not you! It means they get to never talk about the shitty things they did and keep doing them. I mean they get to not change. If you 'forgive them' they take that as a free pass to do it all over again, because once you said you forgave you are not allowed to bring anything up EVER AGAIN, not matter if there's a pattern. They will say "UGH that's in the past now", because get over yourself and let me treat you like shit! I'm getting a bit agitated now, so I'll stop but this whole situation, your MIL and your Damn Husband are giving me serious heebie-jeebies. Please consider the wise words in the sidebar: It's easier to dump a mama's boy than to divorce a mama's boy, and both of those are easier than trying to change a mama's boy. ~/u/pastelegg And it's fucking easier to divorce a Narc husband than to have children with or waste the next 20 yrs with him.

  • Janiya Lind

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  • Gonzalo Denesik

    > I just wanted to keep trying to love you. Come on what DO you want? To continue being hurt by her as you painstakingly typed out in mind boring repetitiveness? You know what people do who actually can't take it anymore? *They write what your daughter wrote and stop engaging.* > But it hurts so much. You have created your perfect world and you don’t want your parents in it. Well I hope your palace and your throne give you the love we apparently can’t. Wait she gets her love from material things now? How does that work? Did you scare her away from living beings permanently? Why do I think that throne is a rather nondescript living room chair? > I don’t want a perfect superior daughter, I want a loving and forgiving one. How about you do something to earn that forgiveness then? Also the P is back. > Don’t send me any more of your haughty stuff. Haughty? HAUGHTY?? What is WRONG with you? Nevermind. P. Anyway if that's what you consider haughty I wonder what you think of your own words. > I don’t need any more of it. I think she made it painfully and abundantly clear that she wasn't going to contact you ever again. You plea is like asking a plant to keep producing oxygen. How controlling can you get? > I will always love you and want the very best for you, but I can’t take any more of your hatefulness and smugness. Stop nailing yourself to that damned cross then and get the fuck away from the computer. She isn't hateful or smug or haughty but none of us can helo it if you perceive her to be but she has already told you she won't contact you ever again. Regardless of how you perceive her, it has already ended. Why are you arguing with a computer screen over something that is already resolved to your liking? Its painfully transparent you are just frantically pressing all the buttons that kept her engaged before so she keeps in contact with you. Also P. > Please don’t look at your children the way you look at your parents. They will resent you and they will not be as forgiving. Im gonna make a very very wild assumption here and say her children don't spew guilt tripping, martyring, projecting shit at her at every turn and refuse to adjust their behaviour to be less harmful to their parents. They MAY in other words not give her any reasons to be that way. Is your mind broken by this statement? Oh don't worry i've seen this before you'll be back to your self pitying projections in a jiffy. Also kudos for knowing how OPs children feel about something that doesn't happen. You are truly all knowing. > Your Mom You have a loose definition of that term huh?

  • Eloy Strosin

    I dislike cato's reply, but (mostly) agree with his original statement, so I will reply: Being pro life means you believe in three things: 1) an unborn child is still a human. 2) an unborn child is innocent. 3) killing an innocent person is wrong. #'s 2 and 3 are fairly widely accepted, and as one example of #1, John the Baptist leaped in his mother's womb when he heard the voice of Mary, the mother of Jesus. He must have been alive to have been able to do this. (See also EX 21:22-24). From this we can see that unborn children deserve the same protection that born children do. What about rape or incest? Deut 24:16 says not to punish the children for the sin's of the father. If that was true under the old covenant, how much more is it true under the new covenant? --- As far as gay marriage, my view is slightly different. First, the Bible does make it clear that homosexually is a sin. So is murder, theft, lying, adultery, going 61mph in a 60mph zone, not doing what God tells you in your spirit, etc... We have recieved forgiveness of our sin under the new covenant, but continual, persistent, intentional (not out of weaknesses, but out of choice) sin can cause you to lose your salvation. True, we should not be legislating morality from Washington. So I do support marriage* for homosexuals. I think that we will win over more people by showing God's love, rather than God's judgement. But to make a blanket statement that homosexuals can be married requires that any church which preforms weddings to preform a homosexual wedding. Something which they should not have to do since the definition of the marriage will be to continue in sin. Unlike a couple where one or both of them have committed adultery, or where one or both of them will continue in some form of sin, the basis of a gay wedding is to celebrate and condone their sin, something no pastor should ever do. So I would happy vote for a constitutional amendment that allowed gay marriage, as long as it provided a clause which exempted churches from having to preform them.

  • Jasen MacGyver

    This is a strawman and a very poor one at that. You speak from absolute naivete about cancer, love, and omnipotence (the omnibenevolence is something completely fabricated since hitherto no one has been able to provide a coherent definition for the word). On naivete: First I see atheists create fanciful illustrations about a child in heaven being shown the person who murdered his parents; this to mock the concept of justice. Then there is your idea that a person suffering from cancer, the result of a mechanism which you have willfully remained ignorant about, is unjust or cruel. Do you not see the deep ignorance in this type of thinking? Every man receives precisely what he gives. The man that gives suffering will receive of the same token. And through this tasting of his own pudding, he will come to recognize his error and refrain from such behavior in the future. In this way, he receives forgiveness. But not until he has had to taste precisely what others have suffered through him. It sounds very nice to ignorantly insist that the men are more loving and just than the Almighty, through who's Grace men can perceive some caricature of Love and Justice. Tell me, if you had two children, one has taken to inflicting pain and suffering on others. He has gone so far as to repeatedly kidnap and torture your other child. You have come to learn through his depravity, that he has murdered your son and several others. Pray tell what is great man's idea of justice for this person? A warm hug and embrace? Or some other sickly-sweet sentimental idea of *love*? One should only have to recall the dark ages, the inquisition, crusades, massacres, genocides, slavery and all manner of deep suffering inflicted on human beings by other human beings. Which treatment often led to an indescribable despair, pain, suffering, agony and a slow, miserable death. These depraved ones must return to reap of the same. And through personal tasting of what they so carelessly forced upon others, they will, if experienced correctly, come to recognize that such things are undesirable.

  • Domenica Heller

    Your sitch sounds so tough, all my sympathies. If you've been cheated on before it might be time to look inside yourself and also at what you've been looking for in a partner. If you plan to commit with her for the sake of the child and for the sake of the love you two have built, then it might also be a time to reflect on what exactly commitment means and how it is held strong. Unconditional love, forgiveness, empathy, personal growth--hanging on when the other wants to let go. You will make your own definition. If you can't talk with anyone else talk with her. How did she see the relationship before the pregnancy? Maybe she really cared for you but also wasn't that serious about it until things got serious. She might not ever cheat again now. Or destructive behavior like cheating might be a form of self medication for a serious emotional issue she has. Do you think she has fairly deep emotional issues that would lead her to continue destructive behaviors? Are you self destructive? Or was this a selfish and naive mistake? Family counseling and even one on one therapy might be in order, but find one person in your family that you trust and who has the understanding not to judge, but to help (as hard as that is). If you don't have that person, that's where therapy can step in. If only to help reveal underlying emotional issues so they can be understood and treated in a healthy way -- for yourself too. Best of luck -- and on the flip side for your child: I am the child of divorced parents, it sucked and I don't want that for my children but I'm ok as an adult. I have forgiven my parents and learned how to move on and find health and happiness. Whereas if my parents had stayed together, who knows where I'd be (they were incapable of having a healthy relationship together). My parents divorced, it was devastating and hard but everyone is all the better for it.

  • Jacey Thompson

    > sacrifice Meanings behind this are rather various. How it's mainly used in religion is bullshit (the idea of killing something as a means of worship). The other meaning, involving something like having to put in hard work to earn something is a rather naturally occurring phenomenon that could be observed rather easily. > forgiveness Meshing together of several concepts, some of which are good, some of which are bad. The letting go of a need for a revenge is a great thing. I am confident, though, that parents would be figure out this is a good thing when observing their own children, for example. Shouldn't take 100 000 years. The idea of absolving someone who has committed a serious wrong, especially without them acknowledging it and regretting it/committing to change, is an extremely harmful type of forgiveness that I do not believe we should advocate. > repentance What? You mean, acknowledging that you did something bad? This also doesn't seem like rocket science to me. You think it would really take thousands of years for people to figure out that a tribe of people can function better when people acknowledge that they make mistakes? > charity, love Both of these have been demonstrated time and time again that they are very natural, very inherent character traits that arise in people. I will say this regarding the love/charity concepts: it is less natural to extend this beyond your tribal group, and to all humans. Again, though, I'm not sure why you think religion can take credit for that. For most of religion's history, it has simply expanded the definition of someone's tribe, and encouraged serious violence against "outsiders". (Though, to give that Jesus dude credit, he seemed ahead of his time in the love department...too bad religion had to go ahead and muck with it.)

  • Joel Bogisich

    I'm in your shoes. I, too, have been abused by family and partners and have developed some PTSD as a result. Certainly, your experiences and advice is valid. If OP wants to leave her, that's more than fair. It would not be a wrong move. However, I hope you can appreciate ambiguity of the situation. This couple has invested over a decade of work into their relationship and marriage, they have children. They have a life together. These outbursts, by any metric, by OP's definition are not regular. I am not saying OP isn't a victim or isn't suffering. I am absolutely not excusing the wife's actions. Rather, I'm saying OP should move forward in a way that respectfully considers the difficult mitigating details. Everyone has a different barometer for forgiveness and what they're willing to work with. If OP comes back to us and says "This is something I cant look past, I've left her." - that is more than appropriate. And if he says "Sometimes, people lose control. We talked about it and are good now" - that's appropriate, too.

  • Katlynn Jacobson

    >https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_Universalism I'd have to see someone justify why they believe this to begin with, but this is not the topic of discussion at the moment anyway. >Look up interviews of parents of various evil people. Many of them defend actions of their children. Would you mind linking some? I'm having difficulty finding any. Also you would have to show that a parent who does this also loves their child and is also not evil. >This is what omnibenevolence is - an elimination of justice and ultimate forgiveness for all evils. Would you mind sharing where you got this idea? Because I believe this definition to be absolute false. Why would justice need to be eliminated?

  • Brendan Vandervort

    Phil, I have been working for over 20 years trying to tell others about an epiphany that I had in 1995. I don't know your credentials and this current effort on Reddit is just one more in a long, long list of contacts. I appreciate your interest, but as you can probably guess, many choices we make have little to do with what others tell us or think. My website at www.homestead.com/theosophy/ascension.html tells a little about how I arrived where I am today. I first learned of theosophy in college when I was a junior at 18 from another student. I got miffed that a theory of evolution was lying dormant in a book called The Secret Doctrine and dropped out. I studied at the headquarters of The Theosophical Society in Wheaton, Illinois and then returned to college for a psychology degree. I was raised Christian. The book that set me on the path was Hindu (Yoga Sutras of Patanjali). I set out to prove if what I was reading was true, as theosophy directs us to do. I studied at a second organization called St. Germain Foundation while in Chicago and again after moving to California. After reading to 20 volumes and books of decrees, I am now spending hours listening to their thousands of recorded dictations. I value research. My research was to purify by being vegetarian, abstaining from alcohol, drugs, smoking, sex, etc. it took me many years trying to purify (13 years or so) until I finally married a fellow theosophist and raised two vegetarian children with him. I had my second child, a son, in my arms (6 mo. old) when I had this epiphany about how Blavatsky's view of evolution could work and I've been out trying for recognition and acceptance ever since. I did not expect to be Blavatsky's messenger which she predicted would come between 1975-2000. (I joined 3/7/75.) I expected to have proof in the form of meeting face to face with an ascended master or developing a spiritual power such as clairvoyance. Can a realization of the theory evolution in The Secret Doctrine be considered as proof? Can a separate, independent organization, or separately published books by individuals confirm the statements in the first organization or published book? They are all a bit different. I was sitting in an "I AM" Temple decree class looking at a picture of Archangel Michael when the idea of a higher kingdom descending into humans first struck me. I reasoned it out with my husband a bit and wound up naming a higher kingdom (girasas) descending into humans as well as placing angels as involving lives, etc. My favorite though, as a psychology student, was likening the higher kingdom to the superego and the involving angel as the id and the reading the work Donald Hoffman (UC Irvine) is doing with an interface theory of evolution of perception in efforts to replace a long standing theory of evolution of perception dependent upon the veridical nature of the act of perceiving. With interface theory of perception, we have truth at different levels, microscopic, astronomical, and common knowledge interfacing with one another for fitness. The human mind itself uses data at three levels to make it fit. I could talk for hours about how Genesis tells us of a creation, not for a (fifth race) human, but of a first race girasas, that began its descent with Adam and brought angels that began to take position with the nature or surroundings we live in. How Jesus is a 6th race human, half girasas and half human while the rest of us are still 5th race. How forgiveness is deserving of every human as we learn to accept this greater life within us and give it room and time to live and keep us worthy of them. How this same process of descent and ascent of the human has happened again and again on earth three previous times and will continue three additional times before humans progress to the girasas evolutionary status. If they live within us, it may seem that we are them, but the they separate with us again in the 7th race and all the advantages of having their help part with them, and then we have to again descend into evolving animals to get our forms again, which might not be as pleasant, but on our descent at least humans are the better of the two kingdoms, and through all of this we can come to know evolution as giving and receiving through love. Jewish as a fifth race, 7th subrace religion, has a sort of primary position by representing the goal or family race (since the goal exists from the time when the first and second subraces exist: Egyptian and Hindu). Christianity has a primary position by being paired with the fifth race continent of Europe. Islam may be the beginnings of a seventh subrace of the 6th race, which exists (again) from the very beginning of the sixth race as the goal. The sixth subrace of the fifth root race is getting its start in the U.S. and Australia and from that stock some people will help to start the 6th race itself, but that won't happen for 400,000 years when a form or shista that was buried on earth when we were here in the last round will be uncovered and adapted to serve as the start of the 6th race, much like Adam served the beginning of the fifth race.

  • Orpha Morissette

    Honestly I'm not going to try to edit OP's, but I'm happy to add more info about my suggestions (as "books women could read if they want to read well-written novels with great themes featuring female characters") so you can decide whether they're up your alley or not! We Have Always Lived in the Castle - Shirley Jackson OP included The Haunting of Hill House in their list already, which is one of my favorite novels ever, but it's not Shirley Jackson's most "original" work necessarily - Hill House is her way of taking a literary spin on the classic pulp horror premise of a group of paranormal investigators showing up to a haunted house, and I highly recommend it if you're looking for something like that. Castle though is super original - it's kind of a ghost story, kind of a coming-of-age story, kind of a story about witches and small-town superstition and one of the most visceral portrayals of agoraphobia and this really cool "was it magical or is everybody just losing their minds" ambiguity that is hugely influential in the horror/suspense genre. I'd say Hill House is mega influential in its own way, but I would also surface Castle as a really great novel that shouldn't be overlooked! Night Film - Marisha Pessl This is a great example of "new horror" - that contemporary take on the genre that lifts a lot of inspiration from found footage horror films, actually - *House of Leaves* is another big player in this niche, and Night Film is a lesser-known example of the kind of heady, real-feeling horror novel that has a lot of photographic inserts and "screencaps" from "real web pages" and such that make it a really immersive experience. Really cool example of what's being done with the genre right now. (Oh, and while I'm talking at you about new horror and Shirley Jackson and "found documents" writing - Jeff VanderMeer's *Annihilation* is a great modern novel that takes the spirit of Shirley Jackson's haunted house novels and runs with it in a sci-fi direction. Lots of great female characters, too.) The Accursed - Joyce Carol Oates Joyce Carol Oates' influence in contemporary horror writing is really underrated compared to contemporaries like Stephen King; anyone claiming to love horror novels should pick up something of hers and The Accursed is a cool starting point. It's an older "found document" style novel - the conceit is that it's a presidential biographer writing about Woodrow Wilson's time as a university president during a zombie/vampire plague outbreak, but there's also a lot of cool thematic stuff around racial prejudice and class issues in New England society. If you read a lot of horror you'll definitely recognize the aesthetic that pops up in stuff like Pride & Prejudice & Zombies now. Housekeeping or Home - Marilynne Robinson (similar titles, very different books - Home is technically a companion to the equally-excellent Gilead, but it can be read alone) Robinson should be on any "best of the 20th/21st century" writers list, in my opinion. She's one of those authors who writes about "humble" topics - midwestern small town folks just getting by, pastors reflecting back on their careers in retirement, etc - and she's incredible for her ability to turn the simplest scenes into poetry. I literally have cried reading a paragraph about the spray from a sprinkler creating a rainbow effect (*Gilead*), her writing is so meditative yet sparse. She's one of those very talented authors who is able to address "universal" themes (not just the feminist themes you'd generally expect on a female authors list but stuff like mortality, the human condition, forgiveness, regret, etc). For the writing alone I'd recommend this, she's been super influential in terms of what critics look for in "literary" novels today. A Tale for the Time Being - Ruth Ozeki, criminally overlooked! This is one of those books that manages to both handle some really, really heavy themes and be super funny and readable. She's also one of those writers who blends down to earth straightforward slice-of-life writing with magical elements - you can see this kind of stuff in Helen Oyeyemi's work as well, or in books like The Association of Small Bombs that is winning a lot of recognition this year. It's also a really interesting take on the whole "immigrant experience" genre as it's about an American-born teenager of Japanese ancestry moving "back" to Japan with her parents after her dad loses his tech job. It's one of those books that manages to both wreck you emotionally and really uplift you. The author is also just a wonderful, very thoughtful person with a really cool outlook on life - she herself is Canadian-Japanese and a lot of her own experiences have been worked into the book. I've read all of her novels save one, and ATftTB is by far my favorite. It's one of those books that pops up frequently when you're looking for top novels of the past 5 years. Boy Snow Bird - Helen Oyeyemi This one is an underrated stand out in the "dark twist on a fairy tale" niche - Oyeyemi writes a lot of books setting racial issues against supernatural themes, and this one is great - it's a Snow White-esque novel about a white woman who marries a white-passing black man (not realizing he's black), adopting his white-passing daughter as her stepdaughter, and is shocked when their child is born with dark skin. The Fifth Season - NK Jemisin Great example of modern black fantasy/sci-fi, in the tradition of authors like Octavia Butler and Nnedi Okorafor who try to work in a lot of nonwhite characters and like to base their fantasy universes on non-western lore and history. Another great set of hers is The Shadowed Sun/The Killing Moon, which is explicitly based more around Egyptian/African lore rather than your typical elves/goblins/wizards type fantasy. Really cool niche to explore, especially if you're already familiar with western fantasy mainstays and are looking for something fresh and different. Howl's Moving Castle - Diana Wynne Jones This book could be said to have started it all when it comes to new spins on fairy tales in YA writing - super original fairy tale type fantasy that's very funny and sweet, with the strong-willed, self-sustaining, get-it-done young female heroine type we know and mostly-love in YA chosen girl fiction these days. If you've seen the Miyazaki film of the same name don't expect the works to be very similar - Miyazaki basically took the basic concept of HMC and totally rewrote it. I quite like both. My Cousin Rachel - Daphne du Maurier Rebecca was already on OP's list and I love that one; I'd suggest MCR as an ideal companion work. It's a little more developed and riffs on a lot of similar themes, while maintaining that pulpy fast-paced is-this-a-romance-or-a-crime-novel style that du Maurier is best known for. The Member of the Wedding or The Heart is a Lonely Hunter - Carson McCullers McCullers is one of the greatest, most underrated writers of the mid-20th century, period! Really excellent small town gothic type writing (think Harper Lee, if Scout was 13 and hooking up with the neighbor boys and breaking into her dad's liquor cabinet - McCullers was a predecessor/contemporary of Lee's and I find their writing styles and character types to be really similar). She really captures that certain middle America during a specific time period feel, and she was one of the first writers to advocate for not only women's rights and black civil rights but also gay rights and to prominently feature disabled characters. The Member of the Wedding is one of my favorites, it's a short little book about a 12yo girl on summer break, experiencing that weird phase of adolescence where she's too mature to really hang out with the little kids in her neighborhood anymore or hang off the maid's apron strings all the time, but isn't old enough yet to really relate to the teenagers and their talk about kissing and dates and whatever. She's not really sure of her relationship with her dad anymore given that she's too old to sleep in his bed and whatnot now and her big brother is getting married and leaving her behind as well in a way!

  • Aaron Bergstrom

    > The research about women being happy is widely sourced. Studies were published showing this time and again. This is related to education insofar as it shows that people -- women, at least -- were happier as stay at home mothers, before third-wave feminism. Stay-at-home mothers were responsible for more of the oversight of children, since, by definition, they were at home with them. That has a direct impact on later education. Yea, I've read this five times and still can't make sense of it. You appear to be arguing that women's happiness has a causative relationship with quality education because (this is where I'm getting confused) they were happier when they stayed at home and raised the kids full time, which leads to better education? It seems to me like you're mixing two different claims together: 1. Third Wave Feminism was detrimental because research shows that women reported higher rates of happiness before it. 2. Education was better when more families had an adult staying at home full time. These minor claims can both be used as pillars for your apparent major claim (that we should revert many aspects of society back 50-100 years), but the evidence for each doesn't help with the other, like, at all. > (Ekman, 2003): "To grow up emotionally healthy, children under 3 need: A strong, reliable primary caregiver who provides consistent and unconditional love, guidance, and support. Safe, predictable, stable environments.Ten to 20 hours each week of harmonious, reciprocal interactions. This process, known as attunement, is most crucial during the first 6–24 months of infants' lives and helps them develop a wider range of healthy emotions, including gratitude, forgiveness, and empathy.Enrichment through personalized, increasingly complex activities." State-run facilities or daycares do not provide these. Just conceding that that stuff is necessary because you have evidence and I don't (though I'm sure I could find some)... Conceding state-run daycares probably don't (Because I'm too lazy to refute an ancillary claim), you're missing the point. The argument isn't that state-run daycares are *preferred*... the argument is that state-run daycares should be provided for families who cannot, no matter what they do, afford to take time off, pay for private daycare, or a long-term nanny, or an au-pair, or what-have-you. Again though, this is a distraction from what we're actually arguing, which is homeschooling vs (public) school. >The 1954 test is not for homeschooling; neither was it meant to be. It shows that students were capable of MUCH more then than what they are being pushed to do now. Most adults could not complete that test and are 'low-information voters' when it comes to political decisions. Many do not even know who their elected leaders are. This is still such a terrible and weird argument. Again, to begin with, *one student doing well isn't representative of an entire system*. I can't believe that even has to be said. I'll place a thousand dollars that the average 9th grader today could ace that test given a week to study (if they took it seriously). If the average 10th grader today doesn't know much of that information, it is because it isn't prioritized. While I do think that civics should be taught far more than it is, I don't think rote memorization of names and amendments is the way to go, and it seems that most education professionals agree (seeing as they aren't prioritized in AP Gov or any other civics course). On to the adults part... oh boy. First off, you realize that "most adults" were raised around the time that that test were administered, right? The ones unable to say that information would be the ones that had it drilled into their heads... Whatever, the main point of my argument is that the reason that they do not know that information is because they don't *care*, not because the education system failed to tell them it. > The Homeschooling website indicated -- literally in the first line -- that the studies were done by INDEPENDENT researchers, not by homeschooling sites. So it is not self-published. You're missing my point. I'm not claiming that any of the studies referenced are biased; I'm saying that the *compilation* of information is likely to be biased. Here, I'll give you an example: I'm a pro-gun rights organization. I compile a list of statistics, centered around the lack of correlation between the implementation of gun control between different U.S. states and crime rates (true). A different, pro-gun control organization also compiles a list of statistics. They point out that there is a strong correlation between the implementation of strict gun control in different nations and low crime rates (true). Both sites contain only true information, but if you were to make a decision based only on what was presented by each site, you would make the exact opposite decision depending on which site you read. Do you see what I mean? > I still believe parents are the most effective and best predictor of their children's educational outcomes, and the research bears this out. "Recent evidence (Harris, 2006) suggests that the complex web of social relationships students experience—with peers, adults in the school, and family members—exerts a much greater influence on their behavior than researchers had previously assumed. This process starts with students' core relationships with parents or primary caregivers in their lives, which form a personality that is either secure and attached or insecure and unattached. Securely attached children typically behave better in school (Blair et al., 2008)." > In other words, while money or lack can be a factor, much more significant is the parent's attitudes and behaviors towards any environmental factors. (Ben Carson's mother is a good example.) > Parents --good parents -are vitally important -- whether students are homeschooled or not or have lots of money or not. I partially agree; parents *are* incredibly important. *No one is disputing this*. What I am disputing is that it is fair to just leave those whose parents *literally* have to work all day, every day, just too feed them or whose parents are terrible to rot. > Your information about income seems to be a part of the soft-bigotry of low expectations. That is, you say, 'don't expect much from poor kids, they can't make it'. As a resident of a low-income neighborhood myself, I feel this is form of soft-bigotry. Oh please. My information about income isn't based on bigotry, it is based on evidence and statistics. Income shows a direct correlation with success, both in academia and life in general. That *does not mean* that no one who is poor can succeed, it is simply talking about averages. This isn't because of the money *per se*, it is about what the money allows. A family that makes $400k a year is either going to have time to read and interact and help educate with a child from a very young age, or hire someone to do so. They have the money to hire tutors if a child is struggling. They have the money to afford access to information such as computers in books. A poor family (making $20k a year) can do none of this. They have to feed the child first. It has been shown that poor children enter school behind their wealthier peers and fall further behind as time goes on (again, on average). This is simply reality. > Parents --good parents -are vitally important -- whether students are homeschooled or not or have lots of money or not. I agree, but not everyone has good parents, and not all good parents can have the proper role in their child's life. It is up to society to ensure that these children are not abandoned because of their poor luck. This involves state schools that attempt to make up for the disadvantages the children have going in, and state facilities to take care of the children to prevent them from ever developing those disadvantages.

  • Wyman Koelpin

    Ok, so I actually wrote this all out and had my computer die on me so here we go again. I'm a financial aid counselor. Do not take the EFC as a dollar amount. While the EFC may have, at one point, been a $, it's more of an algorithm now. Keep in mind that this is the same group of people who also determined that a family of 4 should be able to theoretically live in DC on an income of $26 grand a year... Ultimately, an EFC between $40k-$60k is not terribly abnormal. Especially with you two pulling in appx $80k after fixed expenses. The best advice I have for you is to wait for your prospective schools to actually get you a package before being concerned, you could be very surprised between academic, merit, loans, grants, endowed awards, etc. Regardless of financial situation, all student who meet basic eligibility guidelines will have access to federal loans of $5,500 as a freshman, increasing to $6,500 sophomore, and $7,500 for both junior and senior years. Fixed rate at 3.76% for 16-17. Perkins is a need based loan program, but the likelihood of it being reauthorized for next year is not making me warm and fuzzy so I wouldn't count on it. Your kids would not qualify for Pell grants, the qualification there is usually around an EFC of $5800 max. Work study, FSEOG, and other federal programs tend to have a little more institutional flexibility, so you might get lucky (you wouldn't qualify at my school except under extraordinary circumstances). I would advocate that you look into the federal parent plus loans. They're used to take advantage of the (typically) better parental credit on behalf of the student. It's a 6.31% fixed (16-17 academic year, 17-18 rates will likely go public in May-ish) rate loan that does not use as stringent a credit check as the commercial/private loan side uses. Check out studentloans.gov under their FAQ and it'll go through the adverse credit list. You can take out up to the institutional cost of attendance. Remember though, the parent is the borrower, not the student. Private/Third-Party/Commercial loans are usually viewed as a gap filler. On one hand, they can have pretty lucrative perks - make 2 years of payments, on time, in full and the co-signers fall off the loan (parental benefit) or the rate drops a predetermined amount (student benefit). On the other, the terms and conditions can be particularly tight with little margin for error, no deferment, no forbearance, etc. It's possible to get good rates, but you need to shop around. Do your credit pulls in a short period of time (credit bureaus usually give 3 weeks to shop without really hitting your credit hard, they don't want to punish being a savvy consumer and endorse taking the first loan you come across). Risk analysis on student loans is tough, so what you get from different banks can vary drastically (a house costs $x at every bank, a student's brain on the other hand doesn't really have a $). I've seen everything as low as a 2.3%, as high as the mid-teens, and I've also seen (recently) $20k adjustable rate, 8.75% floor + 1% margin, monthly adjustments, and a 25% cap... Check your state, many states have state loan programs or grant programs. These may or may not be need-based. I've seen these from Maine, ND, NJ, Mass. If your kids are not looking at external scholarships, they need to be. Places like FastWeb are great. Also take a look at local chamber of commerces. It's also a good idea to take a look at other public high schools in your vicinity - check in the guidance office. Try and focus on things that are unique about your kids (do they have an interest that is out of the norm) as anything that will limit an applicant pool will be beneficial. If they know what they want to be when they grow up, professional development organizations in their future field usually have great resources to help... professional development. If either of you work in a public service, governmental, military type position, check and see if your tuition benefits can be transferred to your children. You'd be surprised. I highly recommend that you set your kids up as secondary card holders on your credit card, allowing you to monitor their activity. Have them put their card on auto-pay for the minimum monthly payment to ensure that it's paid off monthly. Put standard monthly charges (gas, car insurance, books) on the card to keep it active. Once they're 22 and done with school, their credit will be in the low 700's if they play their cards right. Getting them approved for an auto loan, apartment lease, or graduate school loans will be 100x easier. If you haven't started on CLEP/DSST standardized exams or Straighterline/Propero online courses, get moving. These are subject specific alternative credit options that usually run $100-$150 (exam) or $250-$300 a course. Get the credit transfer approved from their desired institutution, in writing, before purchasing the course. Having it transfer in is a piece of cake (these are usually American Counsel of Education approved), the question is where in the curriculum it will transfer to. These can usually be proctored at a local testing center, community college, or for profit school (strayer offers them) and test prep material is usually available at the public library or online for $20-$40 a course. I've seen people knock off half their undergrad curriculum doing this. Depending on what they're doing at school, the public service forgiveness and teacher loan forgiveness programs are great, albeit a little tight on the qualifications. If they want to work in these type of fields, it's an excellent options. There are also usually nursing loans also that can have particularly good terms. My background: I've got a ba, ma in education, have my own student loans, and have worked in mortgage refinance, student admissions, student academic services/advising, and now as a financial aid counselor with a specialization in commercial loan for a $62,000 a year university. With that all having been said, my personal position is that if you're going to put functionally a second mortgage payment on your head to fund your 3 kids education, you're doing it wrong. I hate to say this, but in today's day in age, college degrees are pretty much credentials - where you get the degree, as long as it's regionally accredited, doesn't really matter all that much. Sure, if your kid is a genius who is looking at aerospace engineering, cal-tech or MIT are likely a great options, but if they're at that academic level you wouldn't likely be having this conversation/concern. There is absolutely nothing wrong with telling your three kids that you'll cover 4 years of state school at in-state rates once they've taken out their federal eligibility or helping cover 2 years of community college and 2 years of X% of their transfer school of choice. The absolute worst conversations I have are the ones where mom and/or dad sneak off to my office while on campus visiting their kids during the spring. Their kid is far enough along academically that transferring at this point in their career will set them back a year or more. Their younger kids are also now concurrently pursuing their degrees, also at institutions with $40k-$50k cost of attendances each. They've bitten off more than they can chew, raided their 401k, took out a home equity line, they're flush out, and terrified/embarrassed/mortified that they have to tell their kids they can't come back next fall. The goal here is to get these kids in and out of school without turning your retirement into a dumpster fire and setting each of your kids up with a $500 a month loan payment right out of the college gates. That doesn't benefit you nor them. Remember, putting $5000 annually ($416 monthly - functionally similar to the $406 monthly payment $35k of loans at 7% costs on a 10 year term) into a roth ira starting at 25 years old, $5000 annual future contributions, a 10.7% return (40 year S&P avg roth IRA annual return), and 25% tax rate will work out to almost $3 million over 40 years. What's your opportunity cost?

  • Jessyca Schmeler

    >I'm not a fan of Stannis. I do not understand the devotion to him. I don't understand the way his actions are excused. I do try to understand the enthusiasm people have in case there's something I am missing. > >My main point here is that there are things Stannis does that get free passes because he's "Stannis the Mannis", but other characters get hate for. > >1. Stannis feels he is owed the throne and people's loyalty. He's constantly frustrated to no end by the houses that do not support him because he considers himself the rightful heir. Dany does the same thing. She considers Robert the usurper and herself the rightful leader. She has a tendency to assume people will support her once she gets to Westeros. Because of that she's called entitled, arrogant, narcissistic, etc. Both of them have legitimate reasons to see themselves as the heirs. Stannis is completely unforgiving of people who will not kneel to him. He'll kill people over it. Dany demands some ships and it makes her on her way to being the mad queen. It doesn't make sense to me. > >2. Kinslaying. Stannis killing Renly feels like a hushed topic here. I have asked people about their reasons for loving Stannis and the top ones are typically that he's just and he respects the law. Except he murdered his little brother. If he respected the law he would turn himself in to be put to death. If he was just he never would have done that, at least not with magic that cannot be fought back against. I can't think of a parallel situation, but if a less liked character like Catelyn killed a family member she would be considered evil. Think about how Sansa is still often hated for telling Cersei about her father's plan to leave. Some people blame her for his death just based on that, yet what Stannis did isn't a big deal. > >3. Child murder. If Davos had not saved Edric Storm there is no reason to assume Stannis would not have had him sacrificed. So many Stannis fans got up in arms about him killing Shireen on the show, yet he was willing to kill a kid in the books. Jaime tried and failed to kill a child and even the people who like him, such as myself, still consider that unforgivable. Cersei having Robert's babies killed is seen as monstrous. Theon killing the two boys is seen as evil. Dany gets more hate for Drogon killing a child than Stannis does for planning ritual child sacrifice. > >4. Thinking himself above the law. Back to killing Renly. If he was as just as people say and unforgiving when it comes to law breaking he would turn himself in or kill himself. But he doesn't and that's because laws don't apply to him in his mind. He's obsessively controlling and laws are how he can control people. I don't think he actually respects it as a concept or he wouldn't let himself get away with murder, kinslaying at that. He also punishes people down to the letter. He is very precise about keeping to laws... until it's no longer convenient for him. If he was so loyal to the law he would have punished Renly's bannermen- killed them for treason. But he doesn't because he needs men. He cares so much about laws and vows, yet he offers Jon legitimacy and basically tells him to desert the Night's Watch because he needs the north. > >5. Brutality. Burning people alive is the worst way to kill people. I seem to recall the mad king burning people alive and basically being a sociopath because of it. The worst part is that he doesn't even follow the Red God. He just goes along with it to win loyalty and followers like Mel. I've seen people attack Dany for killing all the masters in Astapor. They were slavers who were clearly brutal to their slaves, yet some consider that harsh. Stannis burned people for saying unpleasant things about him, for small infractions. Yet his reputation is completely just man. Joffrey killed Ned after Ned admitted to actual treason, but Joffrey because our most hated character in that moment. Stannis burned "Mance" just because he wouldn't bow to him. Who the hell expects a wildling to bow to them? He's obsessed with being acknowledged and recognized in an almost debilitation way. > >6. Completely without compassion, empathy, or forgiveness. A man who follows every law down to the last detail and punished people to the maximum extend of the law would be a terrible awful leader. And again, that's not someone who loves justice, that's someone who loves control. If he was so just he would see laws are written by humans, many of the written for political reasons. Laws can be unjust. He would have a set of his own principles that he would want to act on instead of following whatever was already decided on because it's convenient for making people behave the way he wants them to. Dany has a strong sense of right and wrong. She has principles that matter very much to her. She can be very forgiving, but also very harsh. She's a pretty bad leader, yet she's much better at judging situations individually than Stannis. If she's mucked it up this much how much worse would it be with Stannis? > >Dany understands the concept of mercy and kindness. She grasped the idea that sometimes you get more good and loyalty from a person by helping them instead of punishing them. Stannis has no empathy for why people are in their situations. Think of how he feels about every single person who doesn't support him. (I think he only excuses it in lower class people whose lords don't let them, sense they have to obey the lords) He doesn't think about how people go with the majority to be safer. Or whether they're surrounded by Lannister supporters and their kids would be killed. Everything is black and white and that's someone who would create a miserable kingdom full of miserable people. > >Catelyn is seen as lacking compassion because she's unkind to Jon for being a bastard. That's much smaller than the way Stannis behaves. Tywin is seen as a piece of shit for how he talks to Tyrion. That's sort of how Stannis talks all the time. One rude unkind thing after another. But no, Stannis is an honest man. > > >So yeah, this is longer than I was expecting. I've been reading so much Sansa/Dany/Catelyn hate on here today, and much of it, especially towards Dany, is about things that Stannis does and is forgiven or even loved for. Maybe it's a subtle form of sexism where it's not okay in Dany because a woman behaving in a demanding way is an entitled bitch, but in a man it is assertive and tough. Or maybe it's simply that many readers relate to Stannis' autism spectrum social ineptness (I don't mean that as an insult) and the attachment from seeing someone like them blinds them to him being not so great. Double standards is my biggest pet peeve. It's saying that you don't have an opinion if an action is good or bad, instead it depends on whether you like the person doing it. > >Maybe there's something I'm missing with Stannis, but even after reading so many Mannis love threads I'm just not getting it. I would really like GRRM to give us a Stannis POV, even just one chapter, so I could see if his mind has justifications or if there's more to his character. Or maybe he'd be what I think he is. It's hard to be certain about him from others' POVs because Davos is very biased, being stubbornly loyal towards Stannis. Even as he starts to have more and more issues with Stannis (the red woman, Edric, burning people, etc) he quickly pushes those thoughts down, so you don't get a balanced assessment. Jon is the other person who actually interacts with Stannis one on one. He didn't exactly love him, but he also didn't get to know him well.

  • Johan Runte

    >I'm not a fan of Stannis. I do not understand the devotion to him. I don't understand the way his actions are excused. I do try to understand the enthusiasm people have in case there's something I am missing. > >My main point here is that there are things Stannis does that get free passes because he's "Stannis the Mannis", but other characters get hate for. > >1. Stannis feels he is owed the throne and people's loyalty. He's constantly frustrated to no end by the houses that do not support him because he considers himself the rightful heir. Dany does the same thing. She considers Robert the usurper and herself the rightful leader. She has a tendency to assume people will support her once she gets to Westeros. Because of that she's called entitled, arrogant, narcissistic, etc. Both of them have legitimate reasons to see themselves as the heirs. Stannis is completely unforgiving of people who will not kneel to him. He'll kill people over it. Dany demands some ships and it makes her on her way to being the mad queen. It doesn't make sense to me. > >2. Kinslaying. Stannis killing Renly feels like a hushed topic here. I have asked people about their reasons for loving Stannis and the top ones are typically that he's just and he respects the law. Except he murdered his little brother. If he respected the law he would turn himself in to be put to death. If he was just he never would have done that, at least not with magic that cannot be fought back against. I can't think of a parallel situation, but if a less liked character like Catelyn killed a family member she would be considered evil. Think about how Sansa is still often hated for telling Cersei about her father's plan to leave. Some people blame her for his death just based on that, yet what Stannis did isn't a big deal. > >3. Child murder. If Davos had not saved Edric Storm there is no reason to assume Stannis would not have had him sacrificed. So many Stannis fans got up in arms about him killing Shireen on the show, yet he was willing to kill a kid in the books. Jaime tried and failed to kill a child and even the people who like him, such as myself, still consider that unforgivable. Cersei having Robert's babies killed is seen as monstrous. Theon killing the two boys is seen as evil. Dany gets more hate for Drogon killing a child than Stannis does for planning ritual child sacrifice. > >4. Thinking himself above the law. Back to killing Renly. If he was as just as people say and unforgiving when it comes to law breaking he would turn himself in or kill himself. But he doesn't and that's because laws don't apply to him in his mind. He's obsessively controlling and laws are how he can control people. I don't think he actually respects it as a concept or he wouldn't let himself get away with murder, kinslaying at that. He also punishes people down to the letter. He is very precise about keeping to laws... until it's no longer convenient for him. If he was so loyal to the law he would have punished Renly's bannermen- killed them for treason. But he doesn't because he needs men. He cares so much about laws and vows, yet he offers Jon legitimacy and basically tells him to desert the Night's Watch because he needs the north. > >5. Brutality. Burning people alive is the worst way to kill people. I seem to recall the mad king burning people alive and basically being a sociopath because of it. The worst part is that he doesn't even follow the Red God. He just goes along with it to win loyalty and followers like Mel. I've seen people attack Dany for killing all the masters in Astapor. They were slavers who were clearly brutal to their slaves, yet some consider that harsh. Stannis burned people for saying unpleasant things about him, for small infractions. Yet his reputation is completely just man. Joffrey killed Ned after Ned admitted to actual treason, but Joffrey because our most hated character in that moment. Stannis burned "Mance" just because he wouldn't bow to him. Who the hell expects a wildling to bow to them? He's obsessed with being acknowledged and recognized in an almost debilitation way. > >6. Completely without compassion, empathy, or forgiveness. A man who follows every law down to the last detail and punished people to the maximum extend of the law would be a terrible awful leader. And again, that's not someone who loves justice, that's someone who loves control. If he was so just he would see laws are written by humans, many of the written for political reasons. Laws can be unjust. He would have a set of his own principles that he would want to act on instead of following whatever was already decided on because it's convenient for making people behave the way he wants them to. Dany has a strong sense of right and wrong. She has principles that matter very much to her. She can be very forgiving, but also very harsh. She's a pretty bad leader, yet she's much better at judging situations individually than Stannis. If she's mucked it up this much how much worse would it be with Stannis? > >Dany understands the concept of mercy and kindness. She grasped the idea that sometimes you get more good and loyalty from a person by helping them instead of punishing them. Stannis has no empathy for why people are in their situations. Think of how he feels about every single person who doesn't support him. (I think he only excuses it in lower class people whose lords don't let them, sense they have to obey the lords) He doesn't think about how people go with the majority to be safer. Or whether they're surrounded by Lannister supporters and their kids would be killed. Everything is black and white and that's someone who would create a miserable kingdom full of miserable people. > >Catelyn is seen as lacking compassion because she's unkind to Jon for being a bastard. That's much smaller than the way Stannis behaves. Tywin is seen as a piece of shit for how he talks to Tyrion. That's sort of how Stannis talks all the time. One rude unkind thing after another. But no, Stannis is an honest man. > > >So yeah, this is longer than I was expecting. I've been reading so much Sansa/Dany/Catelyn hate on here today, and much of it, especially towards Dany, is about things that Stannis does and is forgiven or even loved for. Maybe it's a subtle form of sexism where it's not okay in Dany because a woman behaving in a demanding way is an entitled bitch, but in a man it is assertive and tough. Or maybe it's simply that many readers relate to Stannis' autism spectrum social ineptness (I don't mean that as an insult) and the attachment from seeing someone like them blinds them to him being not so great. Double standards is my biggest pet peeve. It's saying that you don't have an opinion if an action is good or bad, instead it depends on whether you like the person doing it. > >Maybe there's something I'm missing with Stannis, but even after reading so many Mannis love threads I'm just not getting it. I would really like GRRM to give us a Stannis POV, even just one chapter, so I could see if his mind has justifications or if there's more to his character. Or maybe he'd be what I think he is. It's hard to be certain about him from others' POVs because Davos is very biased, being stubbornly loyal towards Stannis. Even as he starts to have more and more issues with Stannis (the red woman, Edric, burning people, etc) he quickly pushes those thoughts down, so you don't get a balanced assessment. Jon is the other person who actually interacts with Stannis one on one. He didn't exactly love him, but he also didn't get to know him well.

  • Ericka Bartoletti

    "Uhhh, boss? You're gonna wanna look at this." an angel said, looking back towards St. Peter who was sitting at my teacher's desk. I stood there confused. "What is it, Gabriel?" St. Peter spoke, his voice echoing throughout the room, "We're on a tight shift. Add up his sins and throw him in the hole or send him to the bus." "But sir, there's nowhere to put him." "What?" St. Peter asked, standing up, "That's impossible." I looked around, and the entire class was staring at me, as well as the angels standing guard. We were cuffed in some sort of holy rope, and I couldn't move my hands. Everyone was sitting, except if you were called up. Then you'd head up and this St. Gabriel fella would either throw you in a hole or send you out to some bus outside. At first I thought this was a joke, but I saw my mangled body in one of the corners still spilling out blood. "Well sir, if you look at the years gone by," St. Gabriel started, "During his 'Jesus Phase' back in 2009, he managed to cut down his numbers, but if you add the rest of his years, 2011 being the worst, it adds up to zero." "Well this is unprecedented," St. Peter spoke, "I'm going to have to get assistance from from Yahweh." "Wh-who's that?" I stuttered. St. Peter raised an eyebrow and shot me a glance, then looked at his clipboard. "It's God, uhhh, Eric," St. Peter said, "go sit back in your chair for now. We'll deal with you later." I stood there for a few moments too long, and one of the angels grabbed me by the arm and dragged me back to my seat. I listened as St. Gabriel continued down the list. "Jim?" He asked, "Is there a Jim in the room?" "Uh," Jim said, "here?" "Ah, very good. Come up here," St. Gabriel said. Jim stood up and waddled up to the angel. He was a bigger kid, but my mom told me that's what happened when you were young. You get fat, but then you explode into this tall guy later. Guess Jim was stuck like this. "Mr. Gabriel? You know where I'm goin'?" Jim said in a whimper. "You have nothing to worry about," Gabriel said, "off to the bus with you." Jim seemed a bit relieved, but the pain of death still lurked behind his eyes, but he managed to walk out of the room. "Next, Megan?" Gabriel said, and Megan stood up. She was cute, and I had a crush on her since third grade. What I liked the most about her was her bravery, and how attentive she was in class. No one had the courage to call her a nerd. She stared up definitely at Gabriel, who smiled, "You have nothing to fear, child," he said, "Off to the bus with you." She looked around for a moment, but then ran off down the hall. "Billy?" Gabriel said, and everyone looked towards the back of the room. The class bully, bigger than Jim, and stronger than everyone else sat with his head down, not acknowledging St. Gabriel until an angel tugged his arm. Everyone knew where he was going. "Billy," Gabriel said, "says you're going to heaven." "What?!" a kid cried out in the back, "Billy deserves to go to hell!" "Who said that?" St. Gabriel said, looking about the room. A kid I didn't know stood up. "He's tormented us for years! He took my lunch everyday! Why would someone like him get into heaven?" "My child, do you know anything about forgiveness?" St. Gabriel said in a calm voice. "I can't forgive him," the kid said, "Never." "Very well then," St. Gabriel said, "Billy has shown our Lord his ability to forgive and to ask for forgiveness, and that has earned him a place in heaven. You, on the other hand, would wish eternal damnation onto another soul. Your young age has only aged your body, but your soul, like an adult's, can never change. Off to hell with you." The kid tried to run out of the room, but an angel caught him and he was thrown into hell. There was murmuring in the class until St. Peter said, "Such is the law of our Lord. The true eternal justice." "Conner?" St. Gabriel said, "To the front of the room." My best friend I've loved like a brother. We've had our adventures together, playing by the lake and talking together when no one else would listen. I almost started crying. "Yes?" Conner said, looking up at the angel, "Am I going to hell." St. Gabriel frowned and scribbled something down on his clipboard. Then he smiled, and said, "relax my child, someone had mispelled your name. Go down the hall and get into the bus." I broke into tears of joy and he looked over to me and smiled. "Looks like I'll be seeing you soon," Conner said, walking out of the room. People looked as me as I calmed down, and more people were called up. The majority went over to the bus, but a few kids were sent into the hole, because they were supposedly like that other kid. Soon enough, it was just me and the angels. St. Peter picked up the phone on the wall, "Heaven, this is St. Peter," he said, "Message for Yahweh, urgent. Yes, thank you." "I might have to ask for your autograph," St. Gabriel laughed, "I can't remember the last time this happened." "It hasn't happened before," St. Peter admitted as he packed up his things, "although it was bound to happen at some point. I guess life hasn't thrown that many curve balls at him. He's forgiven and has forgiven, but he's sinned as well, like everyone else. Our numbers could be wrong, but they're not." "Can I go home? I asked, "I want to see my parents." St. Gabriel's smile turned to a frown, and he shook his head. I could only sit there for a few moments until the room's speaker turned on. "Peter?" a deep holy voice said, "about your message, enact protocol 2A37." "Yes my Lord," St. Peter said with a sign of the cross. The speaker turned off and he sighed. "Well kid," St. Peter said, "Looks like you've been placed in the 2A category." "The 2-what?" I asked. "Ghost protocal," St. Gabriel said, putting a hand on my shoulder, "Neutral variety. Very rare," "I'm going to be a ghost?" "Yes, but not a very... Active one," St. Gabriel said, "You're going to throw a few books around when someone turns their back, and maybe you'll slam a locker or two." "Is that it?" I asked. "Yes," St. Peter said, "You're not a holy ghost, nor are you a demon. Making you either would throw off the balance of nature. Besides, the amount of blood here deserves at least one ghost. Even if it's a neutral one." "Will I see my parents again?" I asked. "Only if they come to the school," St. Peter said with briefcase in hand, "your haunting ground is this school. You'll find that you can't leave, even if the school is destroyed. I suggest you scare off anyone who means to do harm to your land. You wouldn't want to be a ghost of an empty lot. Now then, we'll be checking up in a decade or two. Behave." In a clap of light, all of the angels vanished, and I was left alone in the classroom with the bodies of my classmates scattered around me. --------------------------------------- Thank you for reading, and if you'd like to read more, check out my [tumblr.](https://rocsoc.tumblr.com/ "Title") and I may be making a subreddit with all of my stories, but for now I just have my tumblr.

  • Joy Steuber

    >Stay in shape, don't get a felony, and have a job and you will have women chasing you. We don't have high standards haha we just want love, just like men. Depends how old you are. 18-30: You are completely selfish with a slight sadistic way about you. The only person you care about is yourself. You are in love with social media and revel in the validation you receive from all those likes you receive. You can't take enough selfies. You give up sex to guys who have game pretty regularly and slyly conceal how often your partners change up. You are a completely self obsessed pretty little hate machine. 30-35: You are in a state of denial about the value of your personal (sexual) independence. You still love validation - it is your drug - but the amount of attention you get has really started to slow. Desperation begins to seep in subconsciously. You often delve into episodic introspection and drink boxed wine by yourself. You watch a lot of Netflix now because men don't buy you drinks like they used to at the clubs and you can't afford nights out all the time. Your job sucks and you live in a modest apartment alone with your cat or dog. Most of your high school friends are married and have babies. Some are divorced mothers. Either way you are starting to get sick of Facebook and contemplate deleting your profile. That orbiting guy you previously never gave the time of day to becomes a dating option. You might even fuck him one night in a moment of lonely weakness. You begin to counsel yourself that "Mr. Consolation Prize" was the *right guy all along* and now that you have *matured* (lol) you are ready to ~~settle~~ get serious. 35-45: Your denial has broken. You fully admit to yourself that time is extremely short and the marriage and family you dreamed about as a little girl is now just about an impossibility. If you married "Mr. Consolation Prize" - you are now divorcing/divorced with a kid. Any single man with his life remotely together is on your dating radar and you have hit on him at least once. You are full on desperate in total panic mode wondering how the rest of your life is going to turn out. Your job is a little better so you buy a nicer car, but your apartment is still average at best. You can afford to frequent the bars more often, but you become a *cougar* and fuck guys in their 20s when they are shitfaced and horny - all of them leave before sunrise - and when they do its awkward as fuck and it only makes you feel like more of a loser the next day. When age appropriate single alphas (successful professionals & businessmen who make time for the gym) contemplate giving you the time of day - you cook, clean, do laundry and give them the porn star sex whenever the whim strikes them. You would do anything to gain security and companionship, but the men capable of providing that for you set clear boundaries (if they give you the time of day at all) and keep you at a safe distance. That pernicious arrogance that inflated you a decade+ ago seems like a lifetime ago. You are sad and lonely most of the time. If you don't have children, your pet becomes your child. 45-55: Desperation has now turned to bitterness and you recoil from hetero romance, becoming a female incel. You become crazy, tripping out into a bizarre hobby that is utterly out of place for your character and people that know you think its really fucking odd. If you somehow manage to escape chain smoking alcoholism, you pretend that you are an intellectual or an artist and lie to yourself about how brilliant and special you are. You quote books everyone has read (or nobody cares about) and decorate your apartment with conch shells and Key West pastels and tell everyone how much you love the beach. You cut your hair short, stop putting on makeup and wear white and beige linen capri pants (nothing designer brand) all the time. Your child(ren) is now an adult and has left you to reconnect with his/her father - after being alienated from their other parent throughout their childhood. You kept child and father estranged to maximize child support payments and get revenge on the hapless loser who was dumb enough to procreate with you. You make a scene at your kid's wedding when you see their father drive up in his Mercedes with his second wife he's now been married to for 12+ years. If you never had any kids you are on your second or even third dog and have gotten really weird and annoying putting them in strange outfits. 55+: You are officially a spinster. It dawns on you how bizarre and pathetic your mid life crisis was and all the kooky artistic shit you were interested in now embarrasses you. You live alone with little or no contact with others. If you are lucky, you have a compassionate sister who invites you to enjoy her children and grandchildren. Your sister's husband doesn't care for your presence at all, but he tolerates you because he loves his wife (as long as your visits stay relatively infrequent). If you have a kid of your own - you try to reconcile with them over the selfish way you lived your life. There is forgiveness, but never that closeness. You have a grandchild or two, but they live in a different state. You retire at 65. If you married Mr. Consolation when you were 30 and got the house in the divorce - that along with a meager 401k is your retirement nest egg. You sell the house, buy a tiny condo in Florida and become the nosy old lady neighbor that everyone despises. You exist in solitude for a max of 20 years and die alone. Less than 10 people show up at your funeral. You are cremated and your ashes go to your son or daughter who waste little time in dispersing them at the beach, because your Key West pastel mid-life crisis seems like the only significant thing in your wasted life. Welcome to feminism.

  • Bulah Beatty

    I would start listening to prayers. Since I'm omnipotent, I assume I'm also omnipresent, and un-seeable, because I'm obmi-temporal too. So, I am all things, everywhere, at all times, forever through time, forward and backward, as well as the present. So, I'd have plenty of time and mental capacity to hear and comprehend every single persons prayers. Now, because of any my omni-abilities, I can see the consequences of any and all possible actions. Therefore. I have omni-morality, and actually know for a fact what the correct moral answer is in every decision. Do we kill 300,000 people at Nagasaki, in order to save countless millions of combatants to lose their lives and a similar amount of civilians as war ravages their cities and farmland? Or, will dropping an atomic bomb fail to guarantee Japaneze surrenxer, or would it simply magnify their fsnatism? I would be able to look into many different timelines and see all the consequences of all the many decision trees, and be able to answer the presidents prayer, just a small nudge in his mind, barely even preceptable, he might confuse it with his conscience, or his own thought train, and it would lead to the correct decision. As for other prayers, "heal my son" "please help me pay my rent" it would be as simple as adding the right blood cells to actually clear cancer out, or eat away at a tumor, perhaps hunt down and eat viruses, or go in and change whole segments of the DNA, down to calming diarrhea or easing the pain of perpetual migraines, to causing whole limbs and other organs to grow back spontaneously. And other little nudges, like, the next application you turn in gets denined, but the interviewer likes your personality, and forwards your resume to his cousin or brother, who has a position available that you're perfect for, and is perfect for you, so you enjoy every day of your job, and it feels more like this fun hobby you do 40 hours a week, and they pay you. I would provide minor signs, proof that I exist, and convert the entire planet into solidarity in worship of my philosophy; "Harm None, and God will Answer your prayers. Help others and God will Answer your unspoken prayers. Teach others, and you won't have to pray, God will provide for you." And I would do just that. I would answer like wishes the prayer of anyone who did no harm to other people, I would listen for unspoken prayers even look for ways to help those who actively and selflessly help other people, like when you pray for others well-being. If you evangelize to others, pray for evidence that would convince them, and I would provide that evidence. Prove that I exist whenever asked, and to those that convert others to my following, I would simply provide everything they need or desire, without them even asking for it I would also update the bible and the ten commandments. I would carve them in stone, a huge boulder, with lightning, on live stream/televised content, all over the world . And I would universalize language, so that everyone could understand and speak the Holy Tongue. And I would teach every single human being how to heal with the Holy Tongue, from scrapes and bruises, to less then 5 minutes dead. Even help regrow limbs and organs. I would ensure the children of the world a perfect childhood, looking into homes and life and let Child Protective Services do their work. Then I would nudge all the kids into the right homes for them, as well as some inception to remind folks that "I love you" and hitting don't really go hand in hand. I'd be a God all about mercy, forgiveness and rehabilitation. Free will? Sure, unless you want to hurt someone. In that case, it'll be time for a meeting with God, a short chat and a little bit of inception so that folks realize that budtjng others is wrong. See, I'm an athiest, and that's what I would like to see out of God. Faith not that he exists, faith that God is actively listening, faith that God will protect and provide for you, your entire life, and in the next. Which I would promise, Heaven, where you live in your happiest moment for all eternity. And be with your friends and loved ones for all of time. No hell, no damnation or hellfire and brimstone, no evil like that. Those who misbehave, or ignore my help, all end up in the "shallow end" of heaven. Basically a waiting room with comfortable chairs and plenty to read. All books printed ever, I'm every language. And I'd give those who prove they get the lesson, and beg for my forgivness, atone for their sins with prayers for those they wronged in life. Then, after 100 in the 55° weather, bored and seemingly alone (I would separate those folks from me, so that I no longer could hear their prayers, and they no longer fell my presence or warmth). So, that's how I would be God, if I woke up and was suddenly God. Take into account that I'm an atheist.

  • Angelo Rutherford

    So it seems like you do have expectations of God. To be all knowing as you said with the coin example but also be kind enough to not make us... knowing we would be born into sin and a lost world and even not chose him in the end. this is all logical! There is one problem with all of this, why are you questioning things that we as humans you said can not interpet an immortal being and if we do we personify him. you're doing the same things as many christians do, you're judging God without knowing him. You've read the bible cover to cover and you didnt find it convincing, okay fine. I've read a cookbook with ingredients... I still didn't know if it was tasty. I don't expect you to be sold on happiness and peace because as youve said when you read the Bible its more about sacrificng who you are for a God, you cannot touch, feel, eat dinner with, etc. but the bible is not just a book of stories but a story about a Father and a Son, and that Son gave his life for this world, dead buried and ressurected. You say all society has persisted with wishful thinking but how many serve a God who beat the grave? how many serve a God who humbled himself and washed our feet. better yet, who died for us to become an atonement for our sins. Do you see yourself coming at the bible as a child? have you ever opened the bible asking this random book to teach you and ask God to understand it? Or have you just opened it and you seem plenty smart, but really you just read it trying to comprehend it for yourself. using your knowledge and what you've learned in the world bout gourillas and science to justify this world is how it is. I bet you don't need religion to make you happy. Neither do you, lol this whole world has everything to offer but ever think why we have all the trends we do? why the characteristics of Jesus Christ made such an impact on this world is because it defies how we want to live and instead of living daily filling our bellies which I even do sometimes and enjoying what this life has to offer, we live for someone who is bigger than us. a Just God. now lets talk about the big question you've been asking and I pray to be clear on this subject but even as we talk, I pray you take what I am saying with an open heart and mind. I know what you think is right and that is fine. 1. Let's talk about the beginning. God made adam pure, he made him to not know sin. There was no hell or lake of fire(which by the way wasn't meant for humans in the first place). But it was adam and eve's choice to disobey God. God knew there would be good and bad kids that come from adam but the reason that christian say "he gave us a chance" is to the fact that just because there were bad kids and bad decision that did not choose Christ, they still had the free will to obey.(well get to the omnipotent power later). >Genesis 3:4-6 > And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: >5 For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be >opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil. >6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. 2. You mentioned why would he make us knowing we would go to hell. well he could have made this whole world to worship him and obey everything because he is God right? If he did that then there would be no choice, no free will in choosing a life of devotion to him. and knowing that there are people who will not choose him and reject him, he used those people to send him to the cross. luke 23:24 >Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots. even as we crucified him, he cried out for our forgiveness. I dont think you can find that in greek mythology. 3. As I have said before it does not matter if your e good or bad in this world. Idc what kind of morals you have but in the end of the day. Jesus is the way the truth and the light. So i hope you understand religion doesn't save you and the focus is not hell but it is submitting yourself and obeying the God who created you. repenting of just yourself and choosing God over this world. We all know you can live a good life and you might not care about the afterlife, but I think as humans we do have an understanding that we have souls, or not so many people would even consider it and no way Jesus would have even made it into the record books, right? You can call us more advance than the generation before us but we struggle with the same things people did 2,000 years ago. Hearts don't change. 3. There is a reason that God chooses people for different fates. Think of essau and Jacob, pretty messed up? you brought up sampson and moses with the snakes. whoa yeah fairytales but God uses those things for his gospel and to show his grace, even when it doesn't seem fair to us. 4. God is a just God. Dude you will always find shortcomings in everything in life...even yourself. even christianity. Many of us are hypocripts and struggle with much of the doctrine and teachings of our Master, but the fact is I can stop trusting on myself for those short comings, and rely on the grace of God and through his forgiveness, I'll be able to follow him closer and get to know him better. if this was all bull then how did Daniel prophesy at the same time as Buddha was around and actually predicted it right according to historical records, how come in the book of Acts 130 men were discipled and it says that 2 of them turned the world upside down....and now look at how much impact it has had. more impact than the last 100 years of science which in the next 100 years we will probably figure out we were wrong or a new theory will come out, just like it always does. sorry for the long message, hope you have a good day.

  • Myrna Langworth

    > Ephesians 2:8-9 and countless other verses prove that we are saved by faith and grace, Christ's sacrifice was enough. The thief on the cross is a good example. Matthew 25 answer's that pretty well I think >“They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ >45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ >46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.” If that's not a clear "You need works not just faith" I don't know what is. >Jesus condemns vain repetitions in prayer, memorized prayers are simply not Biblical. The "Our Father" was a specific prayer tought by Jesus when asked how to pray? This seems in direct contradiction of that. The psalms are pretty similar as well. As far as requiring 10 Hail Mary's for absolution, my understanding from Catholic School is that the penance isn't necessary for the absolution. It's not "Forgiven as long as you do this". >Babies were never baptized in the Bible. People also were baptized by full immersion into water, not sprinkling water on their head, also unBiblical. Acts 2:39 >Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39 The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off—for all whom the Lord our God will call.” Certainly says it's for kids, babies are children. Matthew 28:19 talks about baptizing in the name of the Father, son and holy spirit, but makes no mention of how much water must be used. >The Catholics should just go ahead and release a new Bible with all their new beliefs, oh wait, they already did, the Roman Catechism. The Catechism isn't a bible, it's explanations of the rules (and really interesting if anyone's interested, most of these issues are directly addressed with citations in it). As far as the bible? Without tradition there would be no bible. The bible itself talks about how to pass on the faith, and it's not by "hand them the bible" let alone specifying what books are in it. If you deny tradition, the bible has to go too. It'd be like accepting cars are the best form of transportation, but the internal combustion engine or electric motor can't be used. >You will never find any of this done by the Apostles or Disciples of Jesus in the Bible. Completely unBiblical how they pray to dead saints and give so much significance to the human mother of Jesus, whom they call the Mother of God, a title not found in the Bible. There's passages in the bible that specify that the saints pray for our intentions. Revelations 5:8 for example >8 And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of God’s people. That's definitely saying that people pray for us. In any case, Catholics *do not* pray to the saints to get things done, they ask the saints to pray for them. If that's idolatrous, then asking your wife or friend to pray for you is too. As for Mary. Luke 1:42 >42 In a loud voice she exclaimed: “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! 43 But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? 44 As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. 45 Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!” That's a "mother of the lord" in the bible. >Another made-up tradition. Peter never called himself some kind of unique leader among the Apostles and Disciples and there is no reason to believe that after Jesus resurrected, he became their official leader. Correct. Peter didn't. Jesus did. >Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. 18 And I tell you that you are Peter,[b] and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades[c] will not overcome it. 19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be[d] bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be[e] loosed in heaven. And if you read Acts theres a lot that places Peter at the head. Stuff like Acts 5:29 >29 Peter and the other apostles replied

  • Shemar Volkman

    What a wonderfully thoughtful reply. Thank you, I genuinely appreciate you taking the time to ask and give your thoughts! I'll try not to be long winded (my worst habit on reddit). It was at times very difficult growing up - and my father's behaviour was a contributing factor to a lot of it. My mother suffered from a terrible alcohol problem when I was about 11 right up until I left home - she was a vicious alcoholic too, so much so that it was impossible to have friends over for pretty much my entire life. The main contributing factor to my mother's drinking problem, aside from her abusive and problematic childhood, was my dad's inconsistent, irrational and reactionary behaviour. For instance he has historically made enemies with every neighbour they've ever had, finding it hard to relate or to understand things or deal with them in an adult manner. For instance, if a neighbour's dog is barking at night he'll be very quick to bang on the wall and scream at the neighbour responsible, rather than knocking the next day and trying to diplomatically sort the situation. He squared up to neighbourhood kids who quickly learnt they could torment him easily, and rather than him ignore it, he would burst into an uncontrollable rage - this lead to a lot of problems just *walking down the street* So my mum turned to the bottle, I turned to heavy metal, horror films, books and comics and locked myself away. I turned 19 and had saved up enough money in my job to leave, so I'd had enough...I'd organised it all behind their backs, and one day I had just vanished. I called my mum and told her "Yeah I've left home now, see ya" and didn't speak to either of them for about two years, pretty much. Fast forward to me being about 21, and I had my own little flat and had just started dating who is now my wife. Her mother, believe it or not, was also a vicious alcoholic - it brought us together and we pulled away from our respective families to try and form some semblance of existence *outside* of our experiences with alcoholics. Eventually I start getting regular calls from my mum - she, unlike ever before, actually apologised for what happened. She admitted to her problem and she promised me she'd knocked it on the head, that me leaving home had kicked her so hard in the stomach that she knew she needed to change - and for once, I believed her. The happy part? She was right, she'd knocked it on the head...she hasn't drunk in 15 or so years now, and won't go near the stuff. She still has problems dealing with my dad but over the years I've let her vent her frustrations to me, regaling me with his latest bizarre moments - sometimes she laughs, most of the time she's utterly frustrated at having to do *everything* for him. But she's started to see where the problem is. Many years ago I outwardly expressed my forgiveness to her and in no uncertain terms did I say that I believe a huge contributing factor to her instability was having to field every single bit of stress our family encountered on her own, whilst working full time, cooking, cleaning and dealing with untold, unnecessary things my dad had inadvertently caused her to go through. However the good thing is, mum is becoming aware for the first time that her reactions to my dad can be 90% of the problem. She'll constantly drop the "why cant you just XXXX" bomb on him and I think she's finally waking up to the fact that his brain just can't compute than information. You're right he still does need a lot of "there, there, Dave" said to him. He actually needs a pat on the head sometimes, I shit you not. He's that insecure. It's not a good experience for him and for anyone else exposed to it.

  • Genesis Pfeffer

    Ok, first, two books you need- Manipulative People by Dr. George Simon, and Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft You are dead right. This is a manipulation ploy. Here's the thing- you can say this is your last chance. Absolute, last chance. I am willing to put this aside and invite you to the wedding but at the first hint of fuckmuppetry, you're cut off forever. You will not meet the grandchildren. I will get a cease and decist letter and a restraining order. I am not fucking around. This is forgiveness, not absolution, and you have to earn back the respect and trust you lost by acting like an inflamed asshole. Let your DH have his Mom at the wedding if she wants. I know that we arent supposed to name other characters, but your SIL is forever Leftovers in my heart. It's two months, she might be able to hold it together that long. I promise she's going to go right back to being a fucking hose beast after the wedding. So, toxic people use your virtues against you. You're a loving, forgiving person who's Christian, a faith that has a lot of talk about forgiveness in it (soooo glad that shit isn't in my religion). I think in the very long run, you will regret not keeping your word to give her a chance to rebuild access, even though staying NC will be easier for you. I think she will try to confuse forgiveness (EARN YOUR PLACE BACK) with absolution (YOU ARE WASHED CLEAN OF YOUR SIN OF BEING A SHITHEAD). You can also put limits on things. Like, ok, I forgive you, but I will never be alone with you again, and you will not meet our kids unless you're in non religious therapy with someone who specializes in addiction or personality disorders. This seems to be a really fraught thing for you, forgiveness, and I'd say talk to someone sensible in your faith about it- not a FORGIVE EVERYONE JESUS WANTS YOU TO BE A DOORMAT type, but right now- I'd say let them be guests to the wedding. They are not at the special table. She does not get a mother-son dance. She does not get to sit up front at the wedding. She is a guest like any other random guest, and she has to EARN the rest of that back by acting like a sane, loving mother over time. If she flips her shit at this, you know she's not actually contrite (because with the shit she put you through, that's REALLY generous) she's just making the right words with her mouth to try to get her way.

  • Audrey Rice

    I'm 36, married, own a home with a 15yr mortgage, financed my Highlander at 2%, and only have one credit card, my car note, and these loans. I'm paying on them because I know that if I don't, it'll bite me in the butt. I'm focusing on the credit card because it's at 9% with an 8k balance. It's my last card and funds my 2 kids mostly. Financially, I'm in great shape with a pension and savings (Thrift Savings). I've always attacked more directly those items with higher interest (I used to have about 30k in credit cards alone...long story), and I never even considered my loans because the payment is so low and the APRs are all the same. I'm in the National Guard, so I have a tuition waiver for state-owned colleges, so I'm working on my second FREE masters, and I got my first one for under $1k in books and fees. As a result, my loans have been in deferment since 2010 because I'm in school. As I said, I pay because these things are lingering like an STD!!! See below for why it's been 14 years and I STILL have loans... On a side note: when I graduated college in 2003, I was waiting tables with a LOW declared income. Dept of Ed set me up with an income based payment plan. When I got bought by Ed Financial, they rolled my plan in and locked my payments in at the current rate and set a date for payoff. No one has any idea how I managed to keep my payment plan without ever once verifying income after the plan was established. I'm apparently a glitch in the system, and I've been told by Ed not to rock the proverbial boat. I graduated with almost $30k in debt and my monthly payment is $209. And has been since 2003. I'm now in a financial place to finally pay them off once my last credit card is gone. Frustratingly...I could qualify for forgiveness if I had been on a verified financial plan, but I currently make over $100k annually, so it would raise my payments to an obscene amount if I were to have them evaluated for a forgiveness. I would also have to start over with a new verified ten year plan, and I hope to have them paid off in two. Sorry for the length, but I get a kick out of my anomaly.

  • Kristina Block

    Or maybe it's because the film's themes and issues (love, estranged relationships with family, forgiveness, same-sex attraction, mob mentality, narcissism, etc.) are things that kids deal with? Stories, whether told in oral tradition or film or cartoons or picture books, have imparted wisdom about difficult subjects to children in easily understood and innocent ways for centuries. So I disagree that it's a "diversity quota."

  • Kailee Hauck

    We all know of the "Good Men" in society. They're the Nice Guys; the squares who work the 9-to-5; who don't have a criminal record; the ones who support feminism; who compliment a woman's appearance and her accomplishments, and gives her a shoulder to cry on when she's down; the ones who make good providers and father-figures; and the ones who do their best to win women's affections through courtesy and respect that women demand (such as [here](http://www.beliefnet.com/love-family/relationships/10-ways-a-man-should-treat-a-woman.aspx), [here](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-not-to-objectify-women-a-handy-guide_us_55cb705ee4b0923c12bed884), and [here](https://twitter.com/endrapeoncampus/status/768178508371820544)). So it would seem a no-brainer that women would readily date men who possess these qualities. Unfortunately, what women *say* and what women *do* are often two different things. Attractive women in their 20s have *multiple* opportunities to date the [Good Men](https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2012/11/24/more-grim-news-for-carousellers-hoping-to-jump-at-the-last-minute/#comment-62160) they claim to want, but they consistently [reject](http://www.thisis50.com/profiles/blogs/pepa-of-saltnpepa-regrets-not) or [friendzone](http://i.imgur.com/tjh26zV.jpg) these men in favor of jerks and bad boys who just pump and dump them. Many men fall for her because she projects certain Good Girl qualities worthy of a long-term relationship. She doesn't dress slutty or behave like she's from the ghetto. On the surface she dresses and behaves like a civilized lady. But she actually lives a [double life](https://qz.com/685852/hookup-culture/): the respectable ["good girl"](http://i.imgur.com/2LSQt4B.jpg) in public, and the ["bad girl" (NSFW)](http://i.imgur.com/76HlgDs.jpg) in private. And whether she's one or the other depends on the man who comes onto her. If he presents himself as a Nice Guy, then she's a prude who's "not a slut", and "I don't kiss on the first date", and "I respect myself". But if he presents himself as the handsome Bad Boy, then she's "adventurous", "open to new experiences", and [down to fuck (NSFW)](http://i.imgur.com/nCFnhCB.png). The Good Men are angry because she *misrepresents* the kind of man she wants, claiming she wants a "good man who treats me with respect". Then when these men present themselves, she rejects or friendzones them and dates jerks and bad boys instead, which suggests that she's *more* attracted to a man's [looks](http://i.imgur.com/hR7EMwC.png) and "bad boy" behavior rather than how nice he treats her. [She says one thing and does another](http://i.imgur.com/6pQNqvj.jpg). But rather than give Good Men the courtesy of *not* wasting their time with a woman who isn't interested in them romantically, she instead says "Let's just be friends". She does this for the sole purpose of using him for attention and favors without giving him the opportunity to date her: "Can you hold my coffee?", "Can you fix my computer?", "Can you move my furniture?", "Can you listen to me complain for hours about the jerks who are fucking me?" To keep him invested in the "friendship" - and the reason so many men stay in the friendzone - is she dangles the carrot of *potential* romance, but keeps it just out of reach. She seduces him with statements like "You're such a good man. I love the way you treat me. You'd make a great boyfriend. Maybe someday but not right now. I value our friendship and don't want to rush into anything." And as he waits patiently and attentively for her to come around, she's going to the club and right-swiping on Tinder to ride the carousel. So she strings him along for attention and favors for [months to *years*](https://whoism3.wordpress.com/2012/11/17/confessions-of-a-reformed-incel/) without a single date, while getting banged by complete strangers within hours of meeting. Then whenever he complains about getting rejected or friendzoned for being the "good man" she claims to want, her go-to response is "You are not owed sex for anything," and "You are not entitled to my body just for being nice", which not only shames men for only wanting sex when they were really demonstrating good boyfriend/husband material, but shows woman's utter disregard and disrespect for men who were playing by her rules. Then to add insult to injury, she *gives herself* to men who are [breaking those rules](http://i.imgur.com/1Bk0Wor.jpg). This is because attractive women in English-speaking countries lack any appreciative faculty for Good Men. They've been given constant attention and favors without merit or compensation since childhood that they think it is something due to them as a matter of course. So when she says "You are not owed sex for anything", she's effectively saying "You are obligated to give me copious amounts of attention and favors as a basic respect to which I'm entitled. But it doesn't make you worthy of sex, or even a date." So she lives this [double-life (NSFW)](http://i.imgur.com/yiJ0bPd.jpg) of being a chaste by day and slut by night for [many years](http://www.returnofkings.com/9932/the-15-magical-years-of-womanhood). Then just prior to her decline in the Sexual Marketplace, she goes through a period of ["Chasing Chad's Commitment"](http://www.xojane.com/sex/love-lesson-guy-who-wouldnt-commit). She knows she's getting older and competing with younger women for the same men, so she attempts to land the most attractive man for a long-term relationship. But instead of dating the men who shower her with the attention, respect and financial stability she claim she wants, she *still* chases the [jerks and bad boys](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5xm8fa/fr_met_the_postwall_woman_who_still_pursues_only/) for commitment. Her logic is "If I'm good enough for him to fuck, maybe I'm good enough for him to want something more." Then when these men reject her want for commitment, she [cries and moans](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgRQPwa56ew&feature=youtu.be&t=2m26s) about how much she wants a serious relationship, and how "good" and "deserving" she is. Basically she's crying "Why won't Chad commit to me?" And herein lies the Karmic Debt of riding the cock carousel: Just as she used the Nice Guy for attention and favors while dangling the possibility of *sex* to keep him invested, Chad uses her for sex while dangling the possibility of *commitment* to keep her invested. If she friendzoned the Nice Guy with no intentions of dating him, then Chad fuckzones her with no intentions of saying "I do". And just as she shamed the Nice Guy for thinking he was "owed sex" just for being nice, she finds herself thinking she should be ["owed commitment"](https://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/10/i-am-tired-of-men-wanting-to-fck-me-but-not-love-me-adult/) just for being a slut. But when she's pushing 30 with declining looks, Chad who won't commit, the likelihood of being a single-mom, and the social pressure from her married girlfriends and relatives, she *finally* asks "Where have all the good men gone?", which translates to "Where are all the nice, respectful men I constantly rejected to rescue me from loneliness, financial insecurity, my fatherless child, social criticism, and provide me with the comfortable lifestyle to which I'm owed?" She [realizes](https://therationalmale.com/2012/12/19/the-epiphany-phase/) her carousel days are over that the jerks and boys After a decade or more of endless sex with jerks who cared least about her, she *finally* goes hunting for the Good Men. She does this by emulating [Good Girl](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4ejtjc/the_prewall_prance/) qualities, and playing the victim by moaning about how she's "tired of dating jerks and wants to settle down with a 'real man' who treats a woman with respect". Some will even attempt to reconnect with men she friendzoned and forgot long ago. Some think the Good Men will be there waiting for her with open arms at the end of the carousel ride, but that's not true, at least not as convenient as she would like. Because she constantly pushed them away to ride the carousel, she's going to have [dry spells](https://ilikemeilikemenot.com/2016/03/14/where-have-all-the-good-men-gone/) where *no man* wants her except for sex. Otherwise she wouldn't be out looking for Good Men and complain about not finding one. Fortunately, Good Men are becoming more aware of their [increased value](https://therationalmale.com/2012/06/04/final-exam-navigating-the-smp/) in the Sexual Marketplace, and they learned a few things about women along the way. They learned that women aren't really attracted to men who are attentive and courteous, because they're ["too nice"](http://www.thisis50.com/profiles/blogs/pepa-of-saltnpepa-regrets-not), and ["boring"](http://www.salon.com/2011/08/05/dating_10/). But they're *turned on* by men who disrespect, ignore and even [abuse them](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/rihanna/loveonthebrain.html). And they learned that riding a carousel of cocks before settling down with a "good man" is not only [planned by women](http://i.imgur.com/8aFbgUt.png), but it's even [encouraged by feminists](http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/772391-when-looking-for-a-life-partner-my-advice-to-women).

  • Darrell Gottlieb

    To add to that, person A taking 10 extra seconds to write a non abrupt reply to B, because A knows B will be worried/anxious otherwise and A cares about B significantly, that effectively ends the conversation without A or B being mad, worried, or Anxious etc., everyone essentially wins (unless you count losing 10 seconds as grounds to get angry, which in that case you have bigger problems to address). However, So, A knows B will be anxious or worried if sent seemingly dismissive, abrupt, one-word replies when A is preoccupied with something else, even if A really ISNT actually mad at all, but is the type of person to get mad at B's misconstrued anxiety, in a scenario opposite from the initial one (where everyone wins), Person A might even slowly develop resentment for person B over time, assuming A has one-worded Person B consistently enough for B to develop anxiety over it, causing A to begrudgingly use a few more seconds every time B gets anxious. So in this case A carries an unhealthy resentment towards B, B may initially be worry-free but will soon most likely recognize the passive aggressiveness and resentment Of Person A, which will only serve to contribute to Person B's overall anxiety, making it worse than before, consequently making it worse for Person A. In fact, the increased anxiety/worrying of person B might even be enough for Person A to no longer quietly reply with contained resentment; Person A might say "screw it" and that bottled up resentment serving to keep the status quo of the friendship/relationship will turn into direct, full-blown anger towards person B's anxiousness. Person B will no longer have to pester person A consistently and wonder about whether or not Person A is mad at them, because their worst fear and anxiety will have already become a reality, thus confirming Person B's anxiety and subsequently amplifying it to the point that, whereas B's anxieties were initially only with Person A's replies because A and B are in a relationship, or have a friendship several levels greater than just being general acquaintances, **Now, however** Person B is much more likely to project this heightened anxiety into other people he might associate with, often without even realizing it. So before, Person B was anxious about the one word replies from person A because their relationship allowed for that concern. But now Person B might also be anxious when saying "good morning bob, how are you?" To Bob the Mailman a few times a week, only for Bob to reply "good.", and leaving the conversation at that. Bob doesn't think he's doing anything wrong, and doesn't recognize Person B's conversational anxieties yet due to the nature of their relationship, which, at that point is just "General acquaintances". So the conclusion we can draw from this whole hypothetical example is simply: **It all comes down to how well you know/understand the other person that determines the nature of the relationship that makes one-word responses either perfectly okay, or, indicative of a deeper issue**. I think that I have effectively proven beyond reasonable doubt that, repeated, casual use of one-word replies are generally **not okay** in any level of relationship status above the "Best Friend Level" which definitely includes the "serious romantic relationship Level", or else the relationship cannot objectively be considered to be entirely "mutual" for both parties. Idealistic relationships require an equal level responsiveness and consideration from all involved, otherwise you're bound to experience a whole range of disagreements soon or later on in the relationship regardless of whether you are the "Person A" or the "Person B", (one word replier but takes consideration for B's anxieties, and, the one getting anxious wondering if the other might be angry at them, respectively. I don't have anything else to add to this but I think this theory settles the argument of, Person A, if you're in a serious relationship and your SO is the kind of person who gets a little anxious at your seemingly dismissive abruptness **(WITHIN REASON)**in your text messages, take the little extra time to show that you aren't actually mad or upset, but just preoccupied, but try to convey that in a way other than "I am not mad" or "I am busy talk later", if you truly value the other person and their personality traits. Either that, or let them know that you recognize their anxiety over how you usually respond, and tell them they need not ever worry and that if you ever were angry or upset with them, you'd let them know in a more mature manner than through passive-aggressive text messages designed to leave them guessing. Also, if your S.O. Is anxious *too* often over many aspects of your dialogue and conversations to the point that it could be considered unhealthy not only to themselves but to the relationship and you feel like it is imperative to address their **overworrying** directly, one thing you should avoid in that situation is **minimizing their anxiety** or **making their anxieties/worrying seem Silly, Unwarranted, or Unnecessary, etc.**, the latter of which runs dangerously close to gas lighting and can turn into gaslighting if you're not careful- even if it's not your intention. Always try to respect your SO's feelings initially. For the people in relationships who seem to incessantly worry over your SO's perceived lack of caring, responsiveness, "one word replies", for example, I cannot accurately determine the nature of your relationship, obviously, but for something specific like if they reply with one word a few times maybe consider that they may literally be in a scenario that demands their full attention for a certain extended period of time. Obviously this is loose advice and almost always situational, but if it happens infrequently enough to where it seems out of character/their usual "way of talking to you", then they are probably telling you the truth. Anxiety is natural up to a certain point, try to keep this in mind and also try to keep a certain level of self awareness in how you might be coming across to your S.O. If you are always asking them if they are mad at you or angry or if you did something wrong because to the other person this can become slightly annoying to them if they have to always reassure you over and over again that they are not in fact angry with you. If you know your S.O. As someone to be upfront with you about things that bother them, then it can reasonably be assumed they aren't going to play guessing games with you over text messages, as this can be considered to be in birdpersons culture as a "dick move". TL;DR; Just be considerate of eachother's feelings and nobody thinks being passive aggressive unnecessarily is cool. And if you have the time, just fucking reply with more than one word. Seriously if you're dating someone and in a relationship but you have an issue with doing this, why the hell are you in a relationship?

  • Dortha Streich

    Some allegations were emerging within the Australian metal scene that Cygnus had been violent to ex-girlfriends and it was brought to the band. They kicked him out of the band. At the minute it's starting to look like more a case of Cygnus not handling his mental health very well and not being able to handle a problematic relationship and losing his temper. Also worth noting that IProbablyHateYourBand has been threatened with a libel suit after accusing Cygnus of being a woman beater and the band knowing about it since 2010. Ful statement from NeO and Cygnus a few days after it was announced Cygnus was out of the band: **************** Last week we let go our bassist Brendan Brown due to recent allegations of domestic violence. At the time we were advised by a lawyer to not release details publicly of the circumstances surrounding his dismissal, until Brendan had made a statement disclosing the details himself. Unfortunately in the time it took for the statement to come out, the real issues of domestic violence and mental health were cast aside by some to engage in a smear campaign against the band. Yesterday a certain website published an article claiming to have proof of a grand conspiracy by the band to cover up these allegations over the years. This is completely false and we will be taking legal action against those involved. Their apparent “proof” was a Facebook comment from Brendan’s Mum stating that we were aware of a domestic assault charge against Brendan from 6 years ago because Tim attended court with Brendan. It is correct that Tim attended court in moral support for Brendan back in 2010 after a domestic incident between him and his Mum. However, the nature of the incident was such that although Brendan pleaded guilty to the charge, the judge decided that no conviction was warranted due to the complicated nature of the incident and their relationship in general (which is detailed in Brendan’s statement below). Even though this situation was very unfortunate and Brendan had clearly done the wrong thing, we also sympathized about his very difficult home life (at one point Brendan had to live with Dan and his parents when they were in their late teens due to the toxic relationship with his Mum) and tried to help him through the whole process. This was the only allegation we were ever made aware of at any time until recently. Several people have said online that they knew of other allegations for a year, two or even more - so therefore we must have known about them ourselves. However, none of these people actually came to the band directly to tell us what they had heard. Once we were made aware of these allegations and investigated them ourselves we acted straight away to try and get Brendan to seek help and made the decision to remove him from the band. Moving forward the band won’t be making any further comment on Brendan’s departure. Domestic violence is a very serious issue and comes in many forms. What this whole situation illustrates to us is that there is a long way to go in our society towards creating an environment where victims feel safe coming forward and where friends and family feel they have an avenue to help them. If you have or are experiencing any form of domestic violence, or know anybody who has/is, please contact any of the following hotlines or websites: Australian Hotlines & Information: 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732 LIFELINE 13 11 14 www.1800respect.org.au www.whiteribbon.org.au www.lifeline.org.au Mental health issues are also prevalent throughout society, affecting people from all walks of life in a variety of different ways. This issue is so broad and complex it is sometimes difficult to understand and talk about. We, as a society, must also seek to create an environment where people are comfortable talking about their mental health in an open and honest way. If you are experiencing, or know someone who’s experiencing, mental health issues, please contact any of the following hotlines or websites: Australian Hotlines & Information: BEYOND BLUE 1300 22 4636 LIFELINE 13 11 14 www.beyondblue.org.au www.blackdoginstitute.org.au www.lifeline.org.au ******************************************************* Brendan “Cygnus” Brown STATEMENT 4 February 2017 "I have many regrets in life, but if there is ongoing pain and suffering caused because of my past behaviour towards anybody, man or woman, this would be my greatest. It is only now after Ne Obliviscaris have kicked me out that I fully realize the extent of damage I have caused to people over the years and how badly I need to get help to get my life back on track. I understand this will be a long path of redemption. I still have a lot of demons to overcome. Having grown up in a severely abusive household, I have long struggled with the long-term psychological ramifications that follow maltreatment which at times has lead me down dark paths with drug and alcohol abuse. There is nothing that I would rather seek to prevent than for those same horrendous experiences to be pushed onto another individual. As a child I was physically and sexually abused by my mother Linda Brown and other members of our family. This is something I have only told in private to psychologists and those very close to me such as my girlfriends at the time. As my entire life is completely under scrutiny by members of the public I have no choice but to set the record straight if I have any chance at redeeming myself. After enduring over a decade of severe abuse I finally stood up for myself and during an altercation with my Mother I attacked her back knocking her down which lead to her hitting her head on the concrete as she fell. I attended court for recklessly causing injury and pleaded guilty. I told the police and court as to why I retaliated to her attack instead of walking away. I was not convicted and a family restraining order was put in place so I could not go anywhere near the property nor could I get my possessions. During this time I stayed on Tim Charles couch and he attended court with me for support. He is in no way involved with this matter other than being a pillar of support at the time which I am forever grateful for. I also want to add that in no way was the band aware of any other incidents or altercations in any way. I have not spoken to my mother since the incident in 2010, despite her numerous attempts to message me and harass members of my band. She attempted to attend one of my concerts at the Espy and made snide remarks towards my girlfriend Rachel, and I told security to keep her away from me. I will gladly release the full police statements if anybody doubts this. I state unequivocally and on record that this is the only time I have been involved with the police for claims of domestic violence. For the absence of doubt, I will continue to condemn any form of domestic violence and violence in general. I deeply apologise to anyone I have ever negatively affected through my past actions and acid tongue. I have long struggled with Bipolar disorder and ADHD and I often go from heights of mania and productiveness to absolute crashing self destructive lows where I will lock myself away in my dark room for weeks at a time pushing everyone close to me away. I am currently on medication for these conditions and involved in counselling, but this was not always the case. In the past I have battled addictions with numerous illicit substances which combined with mental health disorders have made me an unpredictable character at times, and I have lashed out at people close to me both physically and verbally. I am deeply sorry to anybody that has been victim to this inexcusable behaviour. If anyone is a victim of domestic abuse please speak to someone and go to the Police immediately. Do the right thing and speak to authorities and have it dealt with in the court of law at the time. The authorities are there to help and take these matters very seriously. You can also call 1800737732 and visit whiteribbon.org.au. As for drug abuse contact 1800888236. They have been very helpful to me in the past. I am immeasurably grateful to have a loving partner who is both supportive and comforting during this trying period and I similarly appreciate the hundreds of messages of support from my friends and fans worldwide. It is your words that gave me strength to persevere and seek professional help so I do not relapse during this trialing time and continue to hurt people and hurt myself. For the last thirteen years I have lived and breathed through Ne Obliviscaris. It’s the only thing that has given me solace and helped me deal with my past. A platform to inspire others. I have participated in multiple world tours and played hundreds of shows to thousands of fans and broken many boundaries with Crowdfunding and Patreon subscriptions. These are memories I will forever cherish. I do not regret a single moment I shared with the band. I have made fans and friends worldwide and met so many of my personal heroes along the way. I live for music and will continue to do so with many more personal and solo projects to come in the years ahead. I will not allow for this to ruin all that I have worked hard for as a musician and will continue to be kind and supportive to others, rebuild trust with those who I have disrespected and most importantly work on myself to be the best person I can be and seek further counselling and therapy. This experience has taught me the true value of family, friendship and faith. I wish the band all the best for their future endeavours and I will be following from afar, hopefully our paths will cross again soon. Yours faithfully Brendan “Cygnus” Brown"

  • Anjali Graham

    > but very little useful information as to how to manage time and budget constraints or tips on how to creatively approach marketing or community building as a small studio. Quickly skimming the schedule from this years GDC, here's what I see on these topics: (keep in mind this is skipping over a lot of high quality programming, game design, and art and audio talks) # Managing a business: * MANAGING CONFLICT ON SMALL TEAMS * PRACTICAL CONTRACT LAW 201 FOR INDIE DEVELOPERS: MODERATELY SCARY EDITION * RUNNING A POST-APOCALYPTIC INDIE STUDIO * FUEL YOUR GAME DEV DREAM: MAKE MONEY ON MOBILE WITH UNITY * FRIENDSHIP, CURIOSITY & CHALLENGE: FOCUSING YOUR CAREER AS AN INDIE DEV * CONNECT YOUR GAME TO THE WORLD * THE STUDIO SURVIVAL ROUNDTABLE DAY 1 * BREAKING AD: THE FORMULA FOR WINNING VIDEO ADVERTISING * CASE STUDY COMPILATION: HOW SERIOUSLY AND PLAYTIKA PROVE MOBILE ROI * HOW TO SELL YOUR GAME ON TWITCH * GOING BEYOND PAYMENTS: UNCOVER THE TACTICS THAT DRIVE USER CONVERSION * LIFETIME VALUE: THE LONG TAIL OF MID-CORE MOBILE GAMES * GAME STUDIO LEADERSHIP: YOU CAN DO IT * HOW TO CUT THE TETHER AND WORK FROM ANYWHERE * DEAR VR, WHERE'S MY MONEY? * SUCCESS IN MOBILE VR DEVELOPMENT * THE STUDIO SURVIVAL ROUNDTABLE DAY 2 * BUTTERSCOTCH SHENANIGANS: FROM EARLY FAILURES TO CROSS-PLATFORM SUCCESS * DRIVING MAXIMUM IMPACT ON MONETIZATION AND USER ACQUISITION * DEVELOPMENT ON A SHOESTRING: ULTRA LOW BUDGET INDIE GAMES * EARN MORE REVENUE FROM THE ADMOB PLATFORM AND REWARDED ADS * GAME DEVELOPMENT ON A SHOESTRING: LOW BUDGET INDIE DEVELOPERS ROUNDTABLE * WINNING AD MONETIZATION STRATEGIES FROM TOP STUDIOS IN THE INDUSTRY * PROTOTYPING YOUR MONETIZATION: EVALUATING MONETIZATION POTENTIAL EARLY * DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR AD-NETWORKS WILL BE SHOWING ON YOUR APP NEXT SUMMER? * ADVANCED ENTREPRENEURSHIP: AVOIDING TOTAL STUDIO DISASTER * CONSUMER EQUITY CROWDFUNDING: CROWDFUNDING YOUR COMPANY # Marketing: * A CRASH COURSE IN BUSINESS AND LEADERSHIP FOR INDIE GAME CEO'S AND GM'S * (OPPORTUNITY) COST EFFECTIVE MARKETING & PR FOR INDIES * COMPLETE POSTMORTEM OF MARKETING CAMPAIGN FOR 'THIS WAR OF MINE' * VR MARKET 2017: DATA AND INSIGHTS * GET JOURNALISTS TO COVER YOUR GAME: LESSONS FROM ONLINE DATING, PRAYING AND 'NO MAN'S SKY' * BOOSTING YOUR GAME THROUGH INFLUENCER MARKETING * WHAT THE BEST GAMES KNOW ABOUT ANALYTICS THAT THE REST DON'T * YOU SUCK AT SHOWCASING YOUR GAME * THIRTY THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOUR GAME PITCH * 10 DO'S AND DON'TS OF INFLUENCER MARKETING. A CASE STUDY. # Community Building: * BEYOND THE INSTALL: "BUILDING ROBUST COMMUNITIES ON MOBILE" & "TRUE INDIE STORIES: LEARNINGS, CHALLENGES AND MORE" * DATA-DRIVEN COMMUNITY MANAGEMENT: HOW TO USE YOUR EXISTING DATA TO DRIVE POWERFUL LEVELS OF PARTICIPATION * S***'S ON FIRE! A CAUTIONARY TALE IN COMMUNITY CRISIS MANAGEMENT * THE IMPORTANCE OF WORKING WITH INFLUENCERS TO GROW YOUR GAME'S AUDIENCE * CLOSING DOWN GAME COMMUNITIES: HOW TO PLAN A DIGNIFIED BREAKUP * OVERCOMING COMMUNITY NEGATIVITY: AN EXERCISE IN SANITY * SHIFTING FROM A SMALL COMMUNITY INTO A LARGE AND ESTABLISHED ONE * TOOTH AND TAIL: BUILDING COMMUNITY WITHIN OPEN GAME DEVELOPMENT * KNOWING YOUR NICHE: USING FACEBOOK TO FOSTER POSITIVE COMMUNITIES * VIKINGS! HOW WE TAPPED A NON-GAME COMMUNITY TO BUILD SUPPORT FOR OUR RELEASE ON STEAM (AND GAVE AWAY A SWORD) * ALL BANG FOR NO BUCK: GET YOUR GAME TRENDING * COMMUNITY MANAGEMENT ROUNDTABLE DAY 1 * BEST PRACTICES & TIPS FOR PRODUCING AWESOME FIRST-PARTY STREAMS TO GROW YOUR COMMUNITY * ENGAGE YOUR PLAYERS ORGANICALLY WITH TWITCH * EXTENDING YOUR GAME'S REACH WITH INTERACTIVE BROADCASTING ON BEAM * BETTER WITH TWITCH: GAME DEVELOPERS SPEAK * PLAYERS ARE PEOPLE TOO * FIND YOUR BIGGEST FANS WITH GOOGLE'S MACHINE LEARNING * MANAGING PROFESSIONAL COMMUNITIES, PEERS AND ENTREPRENEURS * HOW TO GROW CASUAL GAMES FOR THE LONG TERM * TROLLS: THE COST OF DOING NOTHING * COMMUNITY MANAGEMENT ROUNDTABLE DAY 2 * LET YOUR PLAYERS DO THE TALKING! (WHY PLAYER STORIES MATTER) * TURNING DISENCHANTED PLAYERS BACK INTO ALLIES IN 3 STEPS * CIRCLE IN THE DARK: THE 'DARKEST DUNGEON' COMMUNITY * HOW TO STREAM YOUR GAME TO MILLIONS WITH GEFORCE NOW * COMMUNITY MANAGEMENT ROUNDTABLE DAY 3 # Talks and postmortems by indie devs: * 'LINE WOBBLER' & 'BEASTS OF BALANCE': TWO ROUTES TO CUSTOM HARDWARE GOODNESS * EVERYTHING I SAID WAS WRONG: WHY INDIE IS DIFFERENT NOW * 'OWLBOY': THE EVOLVING ART OF A 10 YEAR PROJECT * SEVEN YEARS IN ALPHA: 'THUMPER' POSTMORTEM * STORYTELLING TOOLS TO BOOST YOUR INDIE GAME'S NARRATIVE AND GAMEPLAY * THE RENDERING OF 'BELOW': LOW COMPLEXITY, HIGH DENSITY DETAIL * FAILURE WORKSHOP * SHIPPING WITH UNITY: IMPROVING THE LAST MILE * THE LAST GAME I MAKE BEFORE I DIE: THE 'CRASHLANDS' POSTMORTEM * FROM INDIE TO 'FABLE' & BACK AGAIN: 30 YEARS OF "WISDOM" * LEVEL DESIGN WORKSHOP: DESIGNING 'CELESTE' * MAKING 'NIGHT IN THE WOODS' BETTER WITH OPEN SOURCE * DESIGNING A TRANCE: MEDITATION AND GAME DESIGN * POSTMORTEM: 'SALT AND SANCTUARY' * THE CASUAL (BUT REGAL) SWIPE: CREATING GAME MECHANICS IN 'REIGNS' * 'JOB SIMULATOR' POSTMORTEM: VR DESIGN, TECH, AND BUSINESS LESSONS LEARNED * 'MINI METRO': WHEN LESS IS MORE * STORY OF AN INDIE GAME WITH 70 MILLION PLAYERS: A 'TRANSFORMICE' POSTMORTEM * 'SLIME RANCHER': A PREEMPTIVE POSTMORTEM * THE FLASH GAMES POSTMORTEM * MICRO-POSTMORTEMS # Talks that might be generally useful to indie devs: * BEST PRACTICES FOR LAUNCHING SUCCESSFULLY ON GOOGLE PLAY PANEL * GAME DESIGN WORKSHOP DAY 1 * GAME DESIGN WORKSHOP DAY 2 * WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER BOAT: WHY THE MOBILE APP ECONOMY NEEDS GREATER CONTROL AND TRANSPARENCY * INDIE SOAPBOX * GAME DESIGN TOOLS: FOR WHEN SPREADSHEETS AND FLOWCHARTS AREN'T ENOUGH * GDC MICROTALKS 2017: PLAYING WITH OUR HEARTS * BEEN THERE, DONE THAT: INDUSTRY VETS SHARE EXPERIENCES AND ADVICE * EXPERIMENTAL GAMEPLAY WORKSHOP * SELLING OUT: WHAT A YEAR OF F2P TAUGHT AN ART-HOUSE INDIE

  • Vella Braun

    There's no one right answer to this, since what will have been valuable depends both on who you are now and who you come through this process to be. Here are 11 things I did and didn't do that worked really well for me: 1. DID take all of my coursework seriously, including in areas not directly related to my subdiscipline--it gave me a feel for the field as a whole that's still paying dividends (especially in helping me better understand and care about the concerns of departmental colleagues from way outside my subfield). 2. DID take a range of courses that included a PhD minor in another discipline (not all institutions have an official way of recognizing this, of course) and go to a decent number of public lectures and such that were outside my wheelhouse--my professional friendship circle is now very wide, and I enjoy regular conferences (and publications) in several different fields. 3. DID the math on minimizing student loans without doing outside work in summers and, once determining that I'd be above the amount I would pay back on IBR based on my expected earnings for the first 10 years after grad school (including loans left over from undergrad), maximized those suckers and used the extra money to buy books and go to many conferences (this only works for people who *know* they'll be in public service, broadly defined [which includes both public and private universities, btw]). 4. DID take my time finishing the diss, writing a few other articles and doing a few translations along the way--these formed strong foundations for other book-length projects after the diss, and the quality and intensity of my disciplinary and extradisciplinary reading during those years is something I've rarely found the undiluted focus and time for since. 5. DID spend a bunch of time hiking and camping and generally living large (well, as large as one can on a small income)--there is no period of time other than graduate school, at least in most people's lives, when for several years it is possible to determine almost entirely for oneself how to allocate one's time, and the values one commits to in that period become formative for the long haul (I like my work a lot, and do a moderate shit-ton of it, and I also like my time at the mountains and beach and in the woods and desert; I was fortunate to find routines in grad school that let these all come together, both when I was teaching and when I was not). 6. DID write and send things out for publication and out again as needed, accepting the sting of rejection and continuing the work anyhow--something that's hard to see when you're a grad student and easier to see when you're faculty is that peer reviewers are just other scholars (well, and, eventually, they're you) with their own stances and frames and commitments and biases: all of which matters, because they're the audience you want to address and they're mostly not idiots, but no single instance of which is determinative of value qua value. ___ 1. DIDN'T get super into the social life of the department--graduate students are a mixed bag, and I had plenty of nice one-on-one friendships among my cohort in grad school (several of which continue to this day), but there's no way around the institutional framework that structures the shared components of your life, and it's important (or it was for me, at any rate) to inhabit a social world outside and largely indifferent to the ebbs and flows of social dynamics structured by that framework (I was lucky to find that through soccer and a neighbor-friend who was a longtime local musician). 2. DIDN'T publish or try to publish everything I wrote--a mentor told me to hold back several things that were more or less ready to go until I was on the TT, which seemed really wanky and careerist and gross, but which I'm super-grateful she suggested, because I had like eight things come out in my first two years: all of those count toward tenure, and none of them would if I'd followed the "natural" timing of those projects or had pushed to get them out in time to serve me on the market. 3. DIDN'T confuse the institutional game with the disciplinary game and the scholarly game--all three are interwoven to an extent (especially the latter two), and you need some success in each to get along in the others, but departmental awards/coveted teaching assignments/other marks of favor and jobs/invitations to review/publications/etc. happen for different reasons (there's nothing particularly wrong with playing the institutional game, of course; it's just not directly transferable or even parallel to the disciplinary game; I do feel judgmental of people who lose sight of the scholarly game altogether, though--those who want to get ahead more than to make and share knowledge should just go to business school and get out of academia already). 4. DIDN'T spend more time teaching than I needed to--I mean, I spent a fair bit of time teaching and, indeed, I love teaching; but I was also told early on by a respected professor, who was a great teacher and an important scholar, that she spent no more time than she needed to on teaching, and I've tried ever since to do the same (this means preparing exactly enough to help my students have meaningful, valuable learning experiences of my discipline and for their lives--and no more); I'm not the best teacher, but I am a good and a dedicated one, and I'm a very productive scholar (it is a shitty fact of the academic job market that this combination is, on the whole, valued more even for jobs that are primarily about teaching, although mine is not). 5. DIDN'T buy into the idea that grad school is the be-all and end-all OR the idea that it's only a means to an end--I was fortunate to have people who helped me see my time in grad school as a wonderful, transformative period with no necessary sequelae, and so I did my best to follow the established trajectory (coursework->conferences and article drafts->comps->diss proposal->articles and diss work->job market and completed diss) wholeheartedly without getting too hung up on what would come next (maybe relatedly, I did side jobs along the way that helped me see that, even as a humanist, I could live reasonably well and reasonably free whether I went on to be a professor or not). That was pretty long. I hope my experience is of use to you or someone else, and wish you well either way!

  • Garfield Bosco

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  • Ryan Boehm

    "I talk to women the same as men, to smart women I'll talk nicely, and maybe to fool people (women and men) I will be condescending." When you're condescending regardless of the context, that is a huge turnoff. There is also a difference between being "realistic" and being a braggart. Humility is an important quality that many people look for in a partner because it signifies so much more about how you'll treat others and how you treat others is everything when it comes to sex and to forming romantic relationships. Whether you value it as a quality or not there is a reason people are pointing out how full of yourself you sound and how that lack of humility may be getting in the way of your ability to form relationships that may lead to sexual encounters. You are being condescending when you say things like what you just said above when you "assured" the person giving you the constructive criticism you asked for that you know what smart people love because you are smart. How, at twenty with admittedly few social connections, do you assume to understand what all people want based solely on what you want? Do you think that all intelligent people think alike? Do you really think that you alone know what is needed in society? If you really knew what people desired in other people why are you posting here? I hope you can see where I'm going with that line of questioning. Most people value intelligence and immediate sexual attraction, true, but they also value empathy and the ability to think outside one's own experiences, to understand that other people may have different perspectives from their own, and to approach the world with the attitude that everyone knows something you don't. Debating people all the time sounds a lot like what you're really saying is that you're an insufferable person who needs to win any argument and who is focused in conversations on getting your own point across rather than learning. As yourself this, when people talk to you in these "debates" are you really listening, thinking about what they have to say, and questioning your own views? Or are you busy trying to tear down their point or think about the next thing you want to say while they are talking? Intelligence doesn't mean bandying about how "smart" you are, it means recognizing and knowing how much you have yet to learn and finding ways to do so. It means using whatever talents or intelligence you have to your greatest capacity. Not to tear down others, but to help them lift themselves up. The most intelligent people in this world don't need to go around telling people are great they are or how special. Their actions, the way they treat others, the things they do, and the way they conduct themselves speak far louder than any bragging. So they don't need to say they are smart or only speak nicely to others they consider smart. That is what humility actually means. It doesn't mean putting yourself down or denying what you are, it means not feeling the need to announce the fact that you think you are somehow better than anyone else to the world. No one is really worth more than anyone else and as long as you have the attitude that you deserve more attractive women than those that are hitting on you or that people you consider stupid deserve to be talked to in a condescending way, you're excluding yourself from being attractive to anyone who is caring or compassionate because your actions are clearly conveying that you think you are entitled to more or are somehow better. You need to work on yourself first. Those women you dismiss as ugly or stupid or not worth your time are probably actually people who could teach you how to relate to women, how to form more than one friendship and how to have conversations based on mutuality and respect. Those women, also may have friends who you would find attractive. As long as you're dismissing people based on your own prejudices around looks and what qualifies as intelligent you are losing out on chances to meet people you may actually want to be with. Think about it, most people meet prospective partners while out socializing at parties, clubs, bars, etc. (something you've said you don't want to do), through mutual friends (something you don't really have aside from one friend who likely also shares your struggles), or through shared hobbies and interests (and based on this post your main interests seem to be talking about how great you are and arguing with other people). You need to get some therapy to work on the self-esteem issues you've mentioned, use your "intellectualism" to study some topics related to socialization and how to have meaningful conversations, form friendships with other people, and consider the role your own attitude is playing in all of this. The feedback you are getting from the people you are arguing with is spot on, you sound like someone any intelligent adult woman would run from and there is likely a reason your last girlfriend was much younger. Your own immaturity and narrow worldview is likely a huge factor here. Put the work into yourself first and foremost, and while you're doing so please consider why you have such a negative/ adverse reaction to humility when Stephen Hawking (the man you cite as so intelligent) is known for his humility.

  • Cleora Stark

    That's rough. But insurance is good, and your friend might have your best intentions at heart. You might be seeing an act of bravery on their part; a willingness to risk your friendship, for the sake of keeping the people who depend on you safe if you were to die. My mom died. I was grown, and fine, but my mom had two more kids with a new husband; they were only 7 years old. My stepdad had around 5 million dollars of coverage on himself, but only twenty thousand dollars of coverage on my mom. So, I'm sensitive to both sides, and just for the sake of my own peace of mind, I'm going to give a quick primer on exactly what kind of insurance you need. I'll write a quick summary, and then expand on it. Feel free to read as little as you want :) Quick summary: If you have no one that depends on you for care, or for financial support, you don't need insurance. If you do have a dependent, you need insurance, but it can be really cheap. Get a term life insurance policy that pays out about 3 times the cost to pay off your house, or to buy a house outright. Stay away from any insurance that is not 'term'. In your twenties, the formula is about 12-15 dollars per month, for 100,000 dollars of coverage, for a nonsmoker, and it scales pretty evenly, for more coverage. Don't argue with your insurance provider over the 'waste' or 'added benefits' of other plans. Insist on a term policy for the amount of money you deem best. If you have more time, here's the expanded version of that quick summary: You only need insurance if there is someone who is financially dependent upon you, and you want to be sure they won't face ruin if you die. Your Social Security benefits go to minors you are in charge of until they are 18, so even if you do die without insurance, your kids won't starve on the street. They'll just be pretty poor. Whole Life policies are typically a rip-off. The only people who don't agree on this are those who are earning a commission on their sale. And the statement they send you each month, showing you how much the value of your policy has increased, is a lie. If you actually try to cash it in, you will discover one of the following things: 1. You can't actually cash it in, because you haven't met some time/minimum balance requirement; the best you can do is stop paying into it, which will switch the policy into a maintenance mode until the balance in the account is drained to zero by insurance premium costs. 2. If you try to cash it in, there will be a series of fees/penalties that will result in you getting about 1/3 of the balance in cash. Don't over-insure yourself. Buy an insurance plan that buys your family the time to make a new plan, not a lottery ticket. If a policy is costing you $100 per month, any hardship may require you to cancel it, so it's better to have less insurance that is cheaper, versus more insurance that is too expensive to keep long-term. Term policies are dirt cheap when you're in your 20's. Getting a $500,000, 15-year term policy will typically cost less than 50 bucks a month, and is probably just about right, to cover many parents long enough to raise their kids. Typically it takes a couple years, and maybe a scare, before a parent gets some insurance, at which point, they might only have 15 years before kids are on their own anyway. Term policies started in your 40's will cost 3 times as much as policies started in your 20's. Better to buy it when you're young. Parents; don't just insure the breadwinner. Insure the stay-at-home parent equally. If the main caregiver dies, the breadwinner might not be able to both maintain a job, and take care of the kids. Too many people have a million dollars of coverage on the man, and a pittance on the woman. Decide what you want before contacting anyone. It is impossible to buy a life insurance policy without talking to a sales representative, and they will make you feel like a real shit for not buying their bullshit whole life policy. Insurance sellers really believe in them. Just remember that whole life policies represent an awesome continuous revenue stream for them, compared to the pittance they get from term policies. Sales representatives are drilled on the opportunities of passive income that whole life policies give them. Every time you make a payment on them, chances are good, your sales rep is getting a cut. Even the most well-meaning, kindest people on the planet are corrupted by getting steady income for no work. There are legitimate uses for policies other than term. If you have a child with Downs Syndrome, or some other lifelong condition where you want to ensure they are taken care of for their entire lifespan, you might need to consider something like that. In that case, I'd suggest contacting other parents in similar situations, to see what they are doing, before talking with a life insurance provider. I didn't explain what 'term' or 'whole life' or any of the other policies actually entail; it is too much for a reddit post. You can google types of policies yourself, if you want to have your brain numbed. Suffice it to say, Term policies are the best for almost every use case, and most other life insurance policies are purposefully over-complicated, to hide the fact that they are a ripoff.

  • Berneice O'Hara

    <There is also no distinction between partners and friends.> Other than the activities that each relationship entails, right? Wouldn't that set a distinction between a romantic love interest and a platonic friendship? <Each relationship exists independently of all others.> I can see the potential appeal of this. Although, to be honest, wouldn't the exist in parallel to each other? Not really that even because of the activities involved with each dynamic. <Imagine if you applied a hierarchy of importance to your friends. How would they feel about that?> Don't we all? I'll use your tea metaphor. I have a friend that I drink tea with at least 3 or 4 times a week. We go out to drink tea. We drink tea at each others' homes. We even talk about having someone else over to drink tea. I would have someone else that wants to drink tea, but they want Orange Pekoe and I like Earl Grey. I like it with no sugar and cream with my normal tea partner but find it appealing to have it without those things with another. If I am going shopping for tea with someone else that doesn't mean I want to drink it with them and add the creme and sugar. The only way it would be weird (other than the tea analogy xD) is if one party had different expectations of what "friend" conveys. It misconstrues they dynamic and demeans the person whom I love drink tea with versus someone who I'm just thinking about drinking tea with. Don't we all have different level of friendship though? Those we know from High School and hardly chat with other than on FB. Others that we share an emotional bond with but don't have sexual feelings for. Another that we are sexually attracted to but don't feel that emotional pull towards. We also have friends we can hardly stand but know in social circles or what have you. Calling them all an equal doesn't quite denote the value of each. So it seems that language already has defined these parameters but it's the aversion to the use of that language that leaves all as "friends". It wouldn't be weird to define someone I drink tea with versus one I do not because that clearly conveys the bearing of that relationship to the one that I drink tea with for life, to the one I drink tea with when I'm bored, or to the one I don't want to drink tea with at all and would like to punch in the face because they won't let go of the fact I don't want to drink tea with them at all. The tea is special because it's an activity that I would share with those that I have deemed closer than someone I only drink water with. I don't think that it would be a betrayal if my partner came to me and said "Hey. I'm thinking about having tea with so-and-so that I've only had water with so far." or "The cream and sugar with our tea is important to me so I wanted to be clear about what kind of tea I am having with others." If they don't want me having tea with someone else but that was part of our relationship agreement then there is a deeper problem than just the tea and that relationship needs to be reevaluated and altered. If they have agreed that having tea with others is ok with open and honest communication, and you two share creme and sugar (a metaphor for love and romantic attachment), then that dynamic has already been agreed upon. The only way to, then, make someone feel betrayed is if that conversation doesn't happen with the one(s) you share creme and sugar with. There inlays the qualm I see with RA. That the language already exists to be able to convey the messages to potential "Tea" partners that separates one we have tea with creme and sugar, someone we have tea with on occasion, one we are interested in having tea with, and someone who we only drink water with. Otherwise the only betrayal to happen would be to all of them as making it seem as if I share cream and sugar with them all or none. What I'm getting at is that RA seems to remove a vital aspect of various relationships by removal of this language. The emotional difference between types and levels of friendships as well as not conveying the dynamic of a relationship that has more attributes than merely a friend would entail.

  • Destin Hessel

    Depends who, where and what they say. I did glaze over all this in my previous comment but there's some background details I probably overlooked. Firstly, I'm generally careful about the company I keep. If you strike me as a crazy or weirdo, I might not want to hang out with you, much less associate myself with you online as a Facebook friend or otherwise. I mean, I'm fairly tolerant (or would like to think I am) of other people and their hobbies, and if they can't show me the same courtesy I'm likely to not want to be considered a friend. By that same token, they're people who I'd like to think I've had decent and meaningful conversations with at some point or another in life, so they know me for who I am and what I actually believe in. Secondly, I've got my privacy settings set in such a manner that only my direct friends see stuff. I turn anything and everything off of 'public' so at the very least there's some effort required to be a malicious arse to me, or to see my content I post. I'm sure the whole world doesn't care about my antics anyway - firearms, cat pictures or not. I'm just one guy out of millions out there. I use social media like Facebook and Twitter etc for keeping in contact with people I actually know and have met in real life etc. So there's some pre-text to who can, and does comment on my stuff ideally. I like to think this is common sense for handling privacy on the Internet but then again I know this is wishful thinking. Now, if people do make jokes about me going postal, or shooting up the place or whatever, I make a point to mention that really isn't even remotely within any of my intentions as a firearms owner. Yes, I get it might be a joke, and I might be being a buzzkill, but really, the idea of killing innocents isn't really that funny if you look at it. There is of course the added context that people who know me, know my other political and moral leanings in life and I'm a bit of a hippy at heart. I get annoyed when people don't recycle, am pretty anti-war, and have put a lot of time and effort into NGOs and campaigns backing social welfare, and addressing marginalisation, hate crimes or otherwise. So yeah, about that plurality and diversity in the firearms-owning community, I'm probably pretty out there and distant from some of the other stereotypes that go about. I do have firm beliefs that our firearms control is pointless in some areas, and really do wish it would fuck off; but I'm not someone who wishes away with it entirely. I've stated as much to people before that some basic level of control is worthwhile and that's it. Here, it's long gone past the point of diminishing returns, but I'm not going to be caught saying that the entire Firearms Act should be scrapped either. Anyhow, my point here is that for the most part people know me and aren't likely to make stupid comments. That's the whole pre-emptive part. With work, like I say, it isn't the first thing to come out about me. It may come out eventually, and I won't do it as a huge "LOOK AT ME MY LIFE IS THE PEW PEW GAT LIFE" statement. It usually comes out later after colleagues know other stuff about me. Professionally speaking, I've been fortunate that no one's ever made a serious stupid comment or rumour at work; but if they did I'd imagine I'd be raising concerns with HR about them first. Jokes like that are innappropriate, defematory, and unprofessional. A single joke that's obviously light-hearted and without any real weight about it, I'll just shrug off. I wouldn't want to feed into this humour either. Time and a place, and work isn't one of them. Shitposting on the Internet (not on FB with personally identifiable info etc) may be fair to joke - to an extent. Now, with reacting to someone doing this, it's usually be a concise but calm and polite reply without resorting to ad hominems. If they want to actually engage in a reasonable debate/discussion in a mature manner, I'm more than happy to do so. If they seem stubborn or are just trolling, I ignore it; or in extreme cases just remove it. Now, with all the above I'd like to stress that this isn't specific to firearms. It applies to all my (anti-)religious beliefs, political ideals and otherwise. And now I look like a sterile calculating bitch who doesn't know or value true love and friendship given all the above. Right? ;)

  • Celia McClure

    This is so interesting to me bc one of my best friends has been having an affair with a married guy and I listen to her talk about how they're soul mates and meant for each other (even though he went ahead and married his fiancée despite having a chance to call off the wedding and choose his "soulmate"). I've only said "that's a shitty thing to do" and "just don't continue with this.." with her once or twice bc I know she won't listen. you raise great points about how it's insane to think that a person is forever off limits bc of whoever they were involved with etc etc bc at the core of it: they were two people who got to know each other and fell in love with their qualities. (Affair aside.. let's just take this scenario at face value lol bc the arguments for and against it are similar) On the surface, I can tell you that if my gut feels like something is off, it's off. And I think because, at the core of it, the decision to be with someone "off limits" is a selfish one bc it assumes that the only important thing in this world is my connection with my best friends ex boyfriend and our love is way more important so when it comes down to it, I would rather have a chance at growing love with off limits guy than investing in my long term best friendship with BFF. And while that's a choice that everyone is entitled to make, it is a short term one because having a good life involves continuing those close knit friendships and admitting that, for most people, happiness with your SO is a bit dependent on your squad supporting you and loving you and walking alongside you through the other challenges that life might throw you. You're right in that most older wiser people are able to overcome this idea and this is more of an early adulthood problem, but it's prob also bc they're better at communicating and holding off on anything happening and speaking with the person who might be hurt and respecting them if they say, oh this makes me uncomfortable please don't do it... I agree with you when you say the world doesn't work this way, its messy and you can't control a lot of things. But I think a part of growing up is to acknowledge that most things can be controlled by making better decisions with long term goals in mind, and part of growing up also means being able to control seemingly uncontrollable things such as attraction and lust and love. For me, the problem in my above scenario was that the guy was looking for other people to connect with outside of his engagement and of course the more you get to know any awesome person, the more you'll gravitate towards them and desire to spend more time together. Believing that they're soulmates was already 10 steps too late... they made bad decisions upon bad decisions and at that point, you're just left with two scummy people who can't respect the clueless wife enough to either come clean and divorce, or resolve it any other way through counseling etc. I think there's value in loyalty, and a good friend should know what is acceptable or unacceptable behavior. I agree that people should have difficult convos and move on and let go of old shit, but because these things are often shrouded in secrecy and dishonesty, it ruins the foundation of friendship which should, and for most people, is built on trust and honesty. You can't have it all. You can have your friends ex bf or you can have her friendship... but most likely not both, which I think is a fair trade

  • Deontae Lindgren

    I just wanted to give an update. I talked to my BF yesterday. I told him we needed to talk about his emotional maturity comment and about being poly. He said that his comment was said in distress and he didn't really believe it to be true. I also asked him flat out if he is poly and he said yes, he is. He believes he truly could love more than one person at a time, it's just that he has no plan or desire to look and that if someone were to come along he would be open to it. At the same time he said that it bothers him that he thinks I am always looking for another partner to which I wanted to respond to him with perspective. When we first started seeing each other I had just come out (six months) and he and I were only to be FWB. I was enjoying the thought and idea of the freedom to look without guilt after 15 years in a mono relationship. After some lack-luster dates and a couple of make-out sessions I took a break and focused in on myself, my home and then on him and I, until (7 months in) I found myself falling in love with him, which scared the shit out of me and in my fashion I pulled away (we were still working on our communication and I was under the impression that falling in love was out of compliance with our original agreement to be casual FWB) so I tried to break-up with him, started looking for others and went on a couple of dates, but that is not what I really wanted and eventually we were able to be really real with one another and admit that we were both falling in love. I haven't been looking since then, but when we are out we often do our own thing and if he is off talking to other people, men approach me, and admittedly I like to flirt, but that doesn't mean I am making possible attachments with every person I flirt with. I haven't been looking for a couple of months now. I posted about that earlier and really appreciated the advice I got and took it to heart. This really helped my self-confidence to just be myself and I think this shift has changed how others see and approach me. My HF coming back into the picture was by sheer chance as it started as me being there for him through the break-up with his last girlfriend and has grown from there. I am going to talk to my HF on Friday evening. I am not going to guide him, but I do know that if he doesn't say some very specific things (i.e. "I value and respect your relationship with your partners" "I don't want to be in competition with your partners" "I am interested in exploring what it means to be poly" - which in reality I know he won't) then I am going to keep the friendship line very firm. I cannot change the way I feel about my HF and all parties involved know this, but I can control my actions, and that is what I plan to do. Thank you for the space to process /r/polyamory

  • Isaias Fadel

    For what it's worth, I have begun to think that in the context of same-sex male relationships, perhaps we're approaching the whole thing with the wrong baseline assumptions. I think that we've spent so long trying to get mainstream society to believe that we're just like them in order to secure legal rights, that we have forgotten...we're _not_ just like them. Same-sex interpersonal dynamics are different in all contexts. While I acknowledge the appeal of masculine-dominant/feminine-passive polarity in heterosexual relationships, that's because those things are the distilled forms of what women and men are at their core, and the ideal form of those polarities is what the other desires. I am a masculine man who wants a masculine man*. I want this because I want someone to push against (literally and figuratively) as well as someone who will (literally and figuratively) push back. I don't want polarity. I want a comrade. I want an equal. There will be times that I need him to catch me, and there will be times that I need to catch him. This doesn't imply any inherent polarity, it just proves that men occasionally need that from their friends - "All alpha, All The Time" is a myth. I want to love and respect a man as a man, and I want that in return _from_ a man. I want an sexualized form of the archetypal male friendship, and I do think that at times, when our individual strengths ebb and flow, the General/Lieutenant model could be useful. There is no reason to really believe that any of this will look at all like what a happy, functional male/female relationship looks like. *A note on masculinity: I value masculinity in men for the simple reason that I think that masculinity is inherently valuable. Of course, any non-physical concept is open to interpretation, so here is what I mean when I say masculinity: The set of practiced, and even cultivated, behaviors that emphasize and optimize the broad tendencies of males. So, if men are generally physically stronger, I am attracted to a man who cultivates that. The same with the tendency to take action, to be proactive rather than reactive, to practice authoritative, skilled control of his physical environment, and who displays emotional control and avoids attention-seeking behaviors. Yes, women can exhibit any or all of these characteristics, but the difference is that while we may appreciate it when a woman does, it is not held against her if she doesn't.

  • Mazie O'Conner

    Oh wow, I am dealing with the SAME THING. I could have made this post. Here's what I'm trying. I'm just trying to be honest and authentic with my clingy friend. So, a few weeks ago when she was texting me non-stop and trying to arrange to meet me, I told her straight up that I was busy, and that I would get in touch with her when I was ready to make plans. She started with the sad, passive aggressive comments. So I just said straight up, " I feel like you are trying to make me feel guilty for being honest with you. I think that we're too good of friends to not be honest with each other, which is why I told you straight up that I'd get in touch with you when I was ready to hang out. I truly care about you, and I care about our friendship, which is why I don't want guilt or resentment to build up between us." She texted back that she wasn't trying to guilt-trip me, (she totally was). I said that maybe I misunderstood, and that moving forward I would feel most comfortable if she didn't try to push me when I said no to making plans, that way there would be no misunderstandings about guilt trips in the future. I did my best to reassure her that it was nothing personal, that I love her and I love her friendship, and that I truly value our time together. We ended it on a positive note, and while she said she wasn't trying to guilt-trip me, the simple fact that I called her out has actually stopped those comments from her (for now!) Well I haven't said this to this particular friend, with a past friend, I did say something along the lines of " it seems to me like you really don't want to take no for an answer, even though I am expressing to you repeatedly that my schedule is quite busy, that it's nothing personal, and that I have no plans on changing how busy I am. If this isn't good enough for you, and you need someone who is more available to hang out with you, unfortunately, I'm not that person. It seems like we might just be incompatible. I hope that's not the case, and I hope that we can get past this and you can find a way to be my friend without needing to spend so much time with me. But if not, I understand. I'm just one person, and I can'tell I am still working hard on setting those boundaries. It's so hard, I definitely empathize with you. For me, it was either be honest and authentic, or end the friendship because it was just too stressful to deal with her guilt trips.

  • Freeman Kuvalis

    Well expressed. I'm a GenXer who came up in the South, and moved to DC for a job in my early thirties. I worked all the time, and it killed my marriage and social life. I can't imagine how hard it is for people in their twenties. Cons: * This city is incredibly competitive if you want to "get somewhere," * Cost of living, especially if you like to go out once in a while, is godawful expensive * People are very transient, so it's hard to build and maintain a friendship network * The sense of community seems kind of artificial for the professional class * It's a pain in the ass to travel around locally, so it's easy to convince yourself to stay home Pros: * I've never been in a place that felt more vibrant with possibility, and when I tap into that energy, I really feel (still) like anything is possible. I can't put a value on this, but it's a huge plus. * Once you get through the fake and the guardedness, you find some incredibly high quality, high functioning people here. That's also hard to do elsewhere. * You can find or do almost anything here. And if you're creative, you can do it on a small budget. It's hard to do it with a consistent core group of friends, but if you're comfortable with being a solo witness to history, or flexible about who to share experiences with, you can have a fascinating day every single day. * The landmarks. This is a little weird for some people, maybe, but when I'm stuck in the grind and look up on my commute to see the White House, Washington Monument, or the myriad of other landmarks I pass daily on my commute, I really feel like I'm part of something, even if I'm just a tiny cog in a big set of gears. I grew up poor, and could see my city's downtown high rises over ten miles away. I'd look at them and think of how distant they were, and how stuck I was in the ghetto while all that stuff was happening over there. Living in DC makes me feel like I'm "there." Overall, the choice to stay or go is very personal, and there's no easy way to take an accurate inventory of things. In OP's shoes, I'd probably give myself 1 year post-masters to see how things shake out before doing anything significant, and then start laying the groundwork for a solid, productive transition elsewhere about 6 months before that time elapses (if it looks like things still won't change).

  • Skyla Dickinson

    Agreed. I kept women in my close circle of friends in my 20s. Looking back, the primary reasons were the stupid belief of friend zoning into pussy and basic female validation from hot chicks. As a rule now, I don't keep any in my close friendship circles. I'm cordial with family members, co-workers, and friends' WAGs. On female alliances, I saw girlfriends/WAGs develop friendships with the WAGS of my friends only to discard once the relationship ended. When a girl dates a guy within the same circle it's funny to watch them build communication channels amongst the women to keep a check on their boyfriends and assert control on him and the group. I dealt with women attempting to set me up with their friends. This had several purposes: bring another ally into the group, curb my group influence and establish social order within the group. Similar to WAGS, female friends will also attempt to set you up with her friends but only those who are below her market value. She will be afraid of losing your utility and if possible want to reclaim your utility at a later date. She will attempt to thwart you from dating her friends who are equal to or have greater SMV. Female friends are opportunistic with their time. When she is not in a serious relationship or seeking commitment from one guy, you must be the best emotional option for whatever need she currently has. This is true for hanging out one on one or in a group of friends with other guys. She becomes a ghost upon identifying a man from whom she wants commitment. You become an indefinite afterthought. Maybe you'll get the random text over mutual interests. The only time you will interact with her is at outings with your same circle of friends. Female friends rarely offer emotional support during difficult times. I dealt with depression in my 20s, and it was visible to everyone. Only one offered any sort of positive support and time given her better options. She's no unicorn but was raised in a strong patriarchal household. The rest shrank away after I exhibited mental frailty. Also, all of the women would rather hang out with guys over girls. They know men are better friends.

  • Pansy Schinner

    Not all people who despise parts of other cultures are closet racists. I live in a city where for the most part, race isn't as big an issue as many places I've lived, despite being about 45% black. Where I grew up, it was mostly black and puerto rican, and there were serious race issues. The surrounding towns wanted nothing to do with them, and the inhabitants of my town were understandably defensive. Even the kids picked up on it, and it wasn't uncommon for white children, african refugees, or others who weren't part of the local american black or puerto rican culture to be badly beaten and bullied by the black and puerto rican children. I myself was beaten and bullied so badly I stopped speaking for two years. It's different here. It doesn't matter what race you are for the most part, if you treat people here decently, they treat you decently. The crime rate is high, and it's not as safe as where I grew up, but the people are for the most part much nicer and less judgemental. That said, no one, including everyone I've talked to from the local black culture, would ever deny that there are problems with it. Glorification of ignorance, of violence, of gang and drug culture are things to despise, regardless of what excuses you use. Judging someone on the content of their character: their actions, the things they value, the morals they hold and the ideals they idolize, that's the opposite of racism. Judging someone's culture doesn't even necessarily mean judging them. I know many people who's cultural ideals and values differ fundamentally from my own who's company and friendship I enjoy, and I don't have to trust their moral judgement to share a smoke and a chat. Also, it's not just other cultures one can have an issue with. I'd rather spend the day with the literal drug dealers and whores from my city than a suburbanite from the next town over any day. They're more polite, less judgemental, and generally will treat me and anyone else who would treat them as equals far better than the suburbanites would.

  • Delphia McDermott

    Hi and thanks for your post. I'm sad to hear of your challenges regarding those memories of a friendship that deceivingly felt supportive to you in the past. I think I understand the general type of confusion (among other emotions) that anyone would feel if they had been in a similar position. Of course not many of us know enough details about situations, people and their problems to be very directly helpful. Additionally I'm especially sad to hear of your time in the past when you were suffering badly from depression. That is so worrisome to hear about just when I imagine anyone feeling so down or being in really unhappy places emotionally. I'm so sad to hear of your having been through that and I hope you feel better and better in those areas. You post with an advice request. So here are some thoughts I had about the friendship that was a lie which might or might not help. In general I think my advice has to do with some measured amounts of addressing the conflict and giving it a rest. When addressing it maybe assigning a value of 1 to 10 to how much you've felt the friendship was a lie, or how much of a lie that memory of support was. If it feels like a 10 give it that value and write about it. If after writing about it it feels like a 9 then maybe it helps to get through it? Maybe this change would indicate that you're less in conflict with this friendship history. If you start out at a 7 then great news! It wasn't as upsetting as I/we thought. Of course delving into this history could pose new ideas about how damaging that friendship really was. So I don't know about how helpful this advice is that I'm offering Maybe what your doing on it is best. Your seeking to include a supportive community on the problem by posting here. So maybe the best advice I can offer is try to feel better about knowing you've learned from the experience. Only look back a little. The rest of the time try to keep looking forward. Most importantly of all I should write that you help others by sharing your problems. You've helped me. Thanks. Hang in there.

  • Leo Satterfield

    I think you're pride is hurt. Unless you are with her for the money you need to mature and readjust your expectations. Do you really expect her to live in a hovel? She could buy the entire block, but she should live in a cold water flat because your pride will be hurt? If you make her happy, no amount of money compares. I wanted to go in a trip to see a band, but I didn't want to go alone, so I asked a friend. He could only affford the airfare, I said no problem, you pay the airfare and I'll pay for everything else. I didn't offer to buy his friendship, I did it so that **I** could have a great time. I could afford the trip so I paid, I never wanted anything in return, he had as much say in what we did as if we had split the costs. We had a great time, I never once thought about the money and he was a good enough of a friend to trust that I didn't want anything or would hold it over him. The world of money and privlidge operates differently. Don't be surprised if they "helped" you into your MBA program, but before you get all worked up, getting in isn't important, you still need to do the work to graduate. When you do graduate I'm sure you'll get a bunch of amazing offers. You'll see it as charity, they see it as supporting someone who is smart and capable, they don't want anything from you, they want something from the people who hire you, because that's who will really benefit, they will expect payback from them. I have a friend who lives in Greenwich, CT. He's always making connections for me, and finally I had my talk with him, that I didn't need his help. He agreed, he wasn't helping me, I was helping his friends. The value they reaped from me was far greater than what I received from them. The scale was out of whack compared to my life but the concept was no different then anything else in life. You help those people who need or deserve support.

  • Keven Haley

    I've been in a similar situation as OP before so I won't judge him. I had a friend who switched her major to the same as mine halfway through college. She started achieving similar levels of success as I had and I began to resent her a little. She had never shown any signs of being involved or interested in my field so it pissed me off a that she was doing as well as I was and was even looking to work with the same organization that I was with. I know it's uncommon, but I have been set on the same career path most of my life. I had worked my whole life to get to where I was, so the ease with which she transitioned into similar positions messed me up. But I knew it wasn't fair to her. I talked to others about it to get my feelings out and realized it was fair to feel that way, but I couldn't let that jealousy or resentment destroy a valued friendship. So, I had to realize that my friend can succeed without me having to diminish my own value to the field. We could both shine and I had to repeatedly tell myself that. Now, if my friend tells me of a new job she gets I can genuinely be happy for her without thinking I have to compete with her. So, OP this is your issue not your girlfriends. Therefore you don't need to talk to her about it anymore. I'm not sure how you can overcome your competitive nature in this instance, but don't feel threatened by her. Others success don't diminish yours. Your company appreciates you and she's only an intern at this point. In a healthier manifestation of your competitive nature, if you're concerned she could take your job, use your advanced knowledge and experience to show your company how much more valuable you are. But don't try to make your girlfriend feel bad for her success. I'm sure it hurts her not to have your complete support and I just don't think risking your relationship is worth harboring these feelings.

  • Althea Shanahan

    Wow you sound exactly like my wife, who's been doing it for about five years. It got to the point that the meetings, cookie lists, world friendship day were ruining her peace of mind and making her very anxious. The problem here is parents don't seem to value the time and effort that you pour into the Scouts. These parents never seem to volunteer for anything, often show up an hour late for pickup and overall are just a drain. You do it for the girls but it has to be a team effort. I started to make my wife assign meetings to the other moms in the troop but still offering to host the meetings, darn liability issues. We encountered these parents quite a lot, they would both work the same hours and would bank on my wife to give their child rides to and from events without once asking to recipricate. See my wife and I would both like to work full time, but we saw the value in having her stay home and raise them. This was and is a tremendous sacrifice financially and we struggled at times. The neighbors should not be able to take advantage of this resource if they don't plan on participating. People think someone owes them something especially in middle upper class communities. Also it's always the same three or four dads that volunteer to coach despite having a full time job, three kids and an hour commute each way to work. People need to take their turn and frankly these programs simply won't exist in another 30 years if people continue to use the community while never giving anything back. They call these civil duties and at one point there was a sense of pride that accompanied the service. In This Sub: People are selfish, They fail to show basic levels of societal manners or understand the concept of empathy. It is slowly eating us from the inside out, me, me, me...

  • Braxton Beahan

    I started a character (Flint Baldirk) as a neutral evil wizard who was willing to do anything - no matter how horrible or suicidal - to restore his family to life. It was the classic "ends justify the means" character. Although he was ruthless, he deeply valued family, and over time came to value the other PCs as almost a sorrt of second family. The halfling rogue (whose alignment was neutral good) ironically became his best friend and their friendship tempered Flint's aggressiveness. He started to find less violent paths towards his goals. Eventually, Flint ran into an enemy who was fighting the group because their own families had been taken hostage. When they lost and attempted to commit suicide by sinking their ships, he went to heroic lengths to keep one of his opponents alive, diving into a glacial ocean in full plate armor to save his enemy from drowning. That enemy went on to become his apprentice after the party defeated the adult dragon that had taken his village hostage. Then he adopted a baby dragon and raised it as his daughter. Eventually Flint passed on, offering his soul to a dracolich in return for having his family released from undeath and their souls transported to Arcadia. But his dead son grappled him and pulled him through the portal as it was closing, forcing him to betray his oath to the dracolich and trapping him in heaven. But by then, Flint's alignment had changed so much that he belonged there. He left behind a red Dragon named Pyrite (because "outer appearances can be deceiving") and a somewhat awestruck apprentice, Barking Seal. RIP Flint, you magnificent vastard.

  • Jordon Parker

    I think her hometown was a factor. - We saw Nick looking pretty uncomfortable at church (he doesn't seem the traditionally religious type and I think that's a huge value of Rachel's). - He was okay with her family, but I didn't see a huge connection/bonding session going on with any of them. - If Rachel was in the final two, it would be pretty unlikely she would be given the Bachelorette spot. The show did that with Jojo and got heavily criticized for it, so they wouldn't attempt to do it again with the Bachelorette right after Jojo. That would be a bad PR move. So, I could see several things happening: 1. Cynical theory: Rachel was a shoe in for the Bachelorette even before the show started (i.e., she was recruited for that role OR they realized early on that she was Bachelorette material) and Nick was told to develop a close friendship with her/take her to the final 4 (which is usually where the next Bachelorette comes from). This implies that Nick has amazing acting skills and so does Rachel, because they DID seem to form a genuine relationship. 2. Less cynical theory: Rachel and Nick had an amazing relationship develop "naturally", but his relationship with her didn't develop as quickly as his relationship did with the F1 girl. He let Rachel go at F3 so she would have the chance to be the Bachelorette/because he does respect Rachel. It would be a jerk move to take her all the way to final two, knowing that Rachel and Vanessa have somewhat of a rivalry/turbulent relationship, only to choose Vanessa. That's a huge snub to Rachel and I think he respects her a whole lot more than that.

  • Sarai Schoen

    Just a quick note on your friends invitation to keep bugging him unitl he answers. On one hand it's great that he has opened his door to you, it shows his interest and gives you the freedom to do something that would be annoying if done by most others. A note of caution though... this invitation is also a very slippery slope. The relationship will be no fun for you if you always have to be the initiator and with each attempt you have to be prepared for rejection. If I were in your shoes, and I have been in similar situations, I would tell him point blank that I'm ok with doing this but it cannot be a one way street. Show him that you understand responding on cue is difficult for him but remind him you are also a person who needs reciprocation. He also has to take the initiative sometimes and also has to respond to you when you initiate sometimes when it is difficult for him. Even just to say 'thanks for the call, babe, I am just out of gas today'. The relationship will just be unpleasant work for you if he only responds to you when he feels like it. Friendship, love, intimacy, trust, and all that are not consumable things. They take work, sometimes difficult, but it's the most satisfying work. I have ADHD, SAD/GAD, PTSD - really, I'm a mess - and for those whose time and presence I want and value, and want and value mine, I respond to every time they call regardless of how I feel. These people know and respect me and hearing from me that I'm not up for anything is all they need. If I didn't respond at all during my low times and just left them hanging they would stop calling. I expect nothing less. It's a hard lesson I've learned.

  • Godfrey Quigley

    Also, it isn't really OP's place to comment on the dynamics of someone else's relationship and on how they should be trusting each other since they're married. It isn't your marriage and, even if their marriage is failing, it still isn't your place to comment on it. His wife is upset and acting crazy - don't make it worse by adding commentary on their marriage and digging your teeth into the subject more. Again, I don't think his wife's response was okay, let it be known. It sounds like you're being a little possessive, as well. He isn't required to feel the need to tell you he's in town if he's in town to see his wife... you AREN'T his wife, you claim to be just his friend. Again, it would shed a lot of light knowing your guys' history. I personally feel your text to him was a little strange. If a woman texted your man, "YOU ARE IN TOWN AND DIDNT FEEL THE NEED TO TELL ME?" it would be okay with you? If so, that's awesome! But, if then you got upset at the woman who said that to your partner and she began commenting on the dynamics of YOUR relationship, I don't think it would sit very well with anyone and it would only serve to make it worse, not better. Sometimes, you have to concede or risk losing your friend and it sounds like maybe he doesn't value your "friendship" as much as you do, particularly because he said from the jump his wife wouldn't like it and ALSO didn't feel any particularly obligation or desire to tell you he was in town. If he felt more strongly about your friendship, he would've told you. He didn't. I think you could back off a tad bit.

  • Kraig Harris

    Well, Tim Russ iterated--or elaborated--on Nimoy's performance, so it'd be odd if he presented Vulcans radically different. (Though, arguably, Vulcans were portrayed radically different in ENT and ST2009). One thing I think is important to single out about Tim Russ' performance is how he handles emotion. Spock was... very mindful of his emotions, partly owing to his mixed heritage. He felt it necessary to present the "Logical Vulcan" persona to perhaps a greater extent than would be typical in Vulcan culture, in much the same way that Worf strives to project the "Honorable Klingon" persona much moreso than "normal" Klingons due to his human upbringing. Spock's whole character arc is about him coming to terms with and understanding the value of his emotions. Tuvok is largely already at that point from day 1. His "guard" is up most of the time, true, but he is more willing to let it drop, and to reveal his emotions. This comes across most strongly when he is mentoring Kess, interacting with Janeway, and later on when he establishes a friendship with Neelix (basically season 7?). The main thing that really works with Tim Russ' performance is something that, in my estimation, only two other actors have been able to really pull off (the others being Nimoy and Mark Leonard): he's able to portray the logical attitude of a vulcan as perfectly natural. For most other actors, it feels more forced. More of an affectation than a natural aspect of their personalities.

  • Mae Bruen

    Fuchsia is what one would consider a character with a very flexible moral compass. While she has no issue throwing herself into the line of fire for any of her friends or an innocent bystander in the field, she is actually a very ruthless person. She is quick to assign a value to a person and while capable of forming legitimate friendship, she will try to gain out of any interaction she has. This makes this Friday's question incredibly hard to awnser, because she applies a lot of flexibility to the things she holds as personal morals. Fuchsia had no whatsoever quarrels at beating Floyd to a pulp when he crossed her, neither did she on attacking someone that got on her nerves. This all isn't in a contradiction to her inner "paladin", because it needs a person to do something that makes her read them as being bad one way or another. Those "bad" actions could be denieing her something she wants, lacking respect, or just getting on her nerves for more or less arbritary reasons. People who actually try to engage in a conversation about morals with her will quickly find themself shut down, because she believes her values are the only right ones to live by. The high amount of rationalisations she engages in, to the point of self-denial, make it incredibly hard to pin-point where her breaking points lie until tested. As good or bad this is to say now, I have no actual clue what will happen to and with her when someone enters her life and challenges those things. I just really hope she isn't armed when it happens.

  • Wilbert Johnson

    First of all, I'd like to say that it's sweet of you to go the extra mile for your friends and doing all sorts of things for them. I'd consider myself lucky if I were to ever had a friend like you! People like you are rare. You can't choose how important you are to someone. People will only text me if they need something. I stopped caring about them for a while. It's either they realize their mistake and try to make amends, or they still don't care about me. Guess what? It turns out that they don't care about me and I'm glad I stopped wasting my time on them or continue putting in the effort trying to make it work. I'm 20 with no real friends, only acquaintances. This reminds me of a quote,"It hurts to let go, but sometimes it hurts more to hold on." I share the same sentiment as you. I wish I could have at least one friend to lean on when times are tough, but I know no one will be there to listen to me. Whatever it is, I've learned that the only person I can depend on is myself, and I shouldn't expect much from people. (Of course, I'd be so thrilled if I were ever to make a real friend someday!) Sad to say this but your friends will never change. It does suck a lot when you do so much for people, and they can't be bothered to do anything nice for you, regardless of how small it is. They might be taking you for granted, or they do not value the friendship as much as you do. Do you have any idea on why they don't bother to do anything for you? It's quite strange....and there's a pattern to it. You give more than you receive but the best relationships are the ones where people give and take equally.

  • Ruben Weber

    Ive gotta, its bad to think about, but every single time hes gone down the cycle im either discarded in a sense where drugs are more important or im manipulated with our length of friendship. he needs to understand that im not gonna stick with him this time and any recurring time, because every single time i did, i ended up hurt, when he decided to use meth, he kept it a secret until he was ready to be clean, which made me grateful that he was able to quit, yet dissapointed he even started, i was glad to be able to help mend the problem and glad i didnt have to know about it and watch in agony as he went through it, i cant stop him in his current state, ive explained that I value him greatly and i see the fun in drugs, but would rather stick to harm reduction so we can both lead intelligent beautiful lives with the bit of drug fun included instead of runining now while young. And the part of not letting him use me is hard, unbelievably hard, im a very very caring and giving person, and saying no is hard for me, which is why i dont even want to start into a situation of having to tell someone i care about No all the time. Hes using to do what he wants to, and i cant stop it, i just cant be dragged down again no matter what his situation is, just when recovery is important to him will i be accepting, its harsh, but something ive learned the hard way, i cant witness anymore drug abuse first hand, i feel its taken a toll on my own mental state just seeing it so many times with countless people.

  • Adan Berge

    We talked a lot more last month, but this month, which is when my insecurities started to act up, she's been too busy for any time with me. The most contact we've had is a message or two every few days, we haven't really interacted at all because she's been busy. I can see why it seems like I'm angry, but I'm not. She can spend her time doing whatever she wants, I just wanted to know if we're still friends, because lately it hasn't felt like it. Lately it feels like I'm putting more effort into the friendship than she is. I wouldn't say that we've gone down this path numerous times before. She always feels the need to remind me that she's a busy person, to which I always tell her that I know and understand that, and that it's fine and would it would be unfair of me to not accept that. I've had a few bad experiences in the past. A few years ago I was in a relationship with a girl who would always value other peoples opinions over mine, to the point of believing them when they lie about me. She then ignored me for a couple of weeks, and then broke it off and was immediately with someone else. Then a couple of years later I was friends someone who was great, I'd say that we were best friends. Eventually we started having problems when they started dismissing how I feel and my opinions in favor of a couple of other people, and then they suddenly decided that they don't want to be friends with me and started treating me pretty badly. I tried to talk to a couple of friends about it, but they then started talking to them and this made things worse.

  • Heather Macejkovic

    [You mean to tell me a fandom that's based on the lessons of friendship and tolerance from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is a facade for an alt-right bigoted movement?](https://derpibooru.org/1009041?q=what+the+fuck+am+i+reading) [](/twirage) You know what, I'm done. I'm so fucking **done** with the political discourse of everything right now. Lean conservative, get branded a hateful bigoted neonazi. Lean left, be called a socialist illegal immigrant-loving cuck. Try to be moderate, get eviscerated from both sides for even considering any opposing viewpoints as valid. It's gotten to the point of people looking for the slightest shred of proof, explicit or implicit, to discredit the other side's point of view and nothing can ever be taken as a joke anymore. Everything has to be taken 100% seriously at face value or you're making exceptions and have a bias and therefore your political opinions are discredited. When the social intentions of the fucking **My Little Pony** fandom are called into question because of a couple fan art pieces and OCs, then everybody needs to take a collective step back and think about what the *fuck* our political theater has become. I'm just so tired of the vitriol and now I'm mad that the brony fandom has to be dragged into that mess. [](/cadence) Sorry for the rant, but I'm just so done with this shit.

  • Shad Doyle

    I can sympathise, but not empathise. My emotions are more stable than most- it's a mixture of mild, chronic depression and a perennial sense of detachment to humanity. Sorrow is numbness to me; wild joy is contentment. It's difficult to relate to the turbulent feelings of others. However, my friends believe I'm excessively 'nice' and caring. I can rationalise feelings, so can understand grief despite never having felt it. So I've become the therapist of my friendship group. I logically dissect emotions, and eventually advocate possible solutions. This gives me a sense of value and contentment. It's also helps me socially- I find analysing people to be more interesting than small talk. It fulfills my intellectual curiosity to learn about humanity. So I cannot profess to be emotionally sensitive like OP. To feel as others do is a gift and a curse, but to translate this into words and actions is a blessing. I tend to avoid cliches, but many saints possessed this common link with humanity. At first they were disllusioned and angry, later they channelled this into altruism. It's no accident that the first 'hospital wards' were run by monasteries. But even apathetic aspies- those better at 'systematising' than 'empathising'- should know the value of unrequited kindness and care. Indeed, we should use our detachment for the common good.

  • Maritza Wilderman

    Over time they became less or less important, because it takes a lot of work to keep the ones you really like to keep close to you. I don't know how to maintain bigger groups of friends or rather acquaintances. I rather focus on not losing the ones I value the most. I do that by calling them and having talks about everything and nothing, asking them about their well-being, life changes, but ultimately anything really they might want to talk about and listen and try to remember everything for the next time we talk. I'm not made for big groups of acquaintances, I can neither manage pleasing them and more importantly I don't care, it's impossible and doesn't give enough in return in terms of forming connections/relations, neither beneficial nor enjoyable. I find it easier to maintain friendships with people who ask me if I have time to hang out and keep doing so even if I decline frequently. It comes across as they'd like me quite a lot to keep inviting me, so I find myself to jump over my shadow for those people more often than not and join them. I have my best friend for 19 years now and even though we rarely see each other or talk a lot anymore I still consider him my best friend, life just moved forward, but I'd be ready to continue the friendship where it stagnated whenever that would happen.

  • Joelle Homenick

    There are people posting about the "friend zone", and they are correct that you could potentially end up in that situation if things don't play out right. But I do want to bring up another possibility, which is the antithesis of the friend zone, the "fake friend". Have you ever met a really attractive girl, who hangs out with your circle of friends, until she ups and disappears, never to be heard from again? She finds a new circle of friends, and if you run into her again you might get a vague recognition reaction, but not much else. That's what happens when guys in the friend zone say enough is enough and stop being mr nice guy. From her perspective, all these guys who showed her so much friendship and support just up and abandoned her for no reason. The real reason is that they were doing it for romantic or lustful reasons, and they gave up one day. That's needy behavior, and a demonstration of lower value. Don't be that guy. You can avoid it by making your intentions clear from the get-go, whatever they may be. If you genuinely want to be her friend and support her, by all means do so - in a way that doesn't impede your ability to attract other girls (if done right it can actually help). If you want to date her, give it your best shot, but don't be ambiguous about your intent.

  • Kendra Jenkins

    You're acting like me or my friends control how women interact with us. Women aren't just sex objects -- you hang out with them and talk to them and have a good time. It's just over the long haul, any guy will find that his truest friends are guys most likely. And I really don't know why this would be shocking to anyone. Common experiences are the glue of many very strong bonds. You've got families as an example... growing up in the same neighborhood, being the same ethnicity, and of course being the same gender (with the same sexual preference). If for no other reason, imagine if I had a woman or a gay man as my absolute best friend. That one core thing that I do with my guys... going out looking for chicks... would be an extra thing for her or this gay man. It's a core incompatibility. This isn't a value judgment or a belittling statement. I also don't hang out with people who spend all their time hiking, because I'm not into it *that much*. I can be friends with an extreme hiker, a chick, or a gay man, but the extent of our friendship will be bounded by how uncommon our interests are (or if you look at the flip side, how not completely the same they are). There's just not enough common interest to be *best* friends.

  • Colt Bartell

    Weeeeeeeeeeeell......... First, understanding can be tricky. If you expect her to understand how you feel, she could rightly expect you to understand why she doesn't see an issue, right? I'm a weirdo...I place less value in *understanding* than I do in *acceptance*. Without being you or having very similar experiences, mindsets, and worldviews to yours, it's hard for someone to *understand* what you're feeling. But, you can express your feelings, and they can *accept* and *acknowledge* how you feel. Second, acceptance/acknowledgement/understanding of feelings is great, but none of those necessarily mean that she'll change anything. She might accept, or even understand and deeply empathize with how you feel, but will she let those feelings, coming from a guy she's been dating for 4 months, impact any aspect of her friendship with a guy she's known for several years? I think you should think on what you need here, and think on what she may or may not be willing to provide....because if you need X restrictions on their friendship and she says "No" (whether or not you, her, or anyone feels your ask is reasonable), then you either deal, or leave.

  • Jonathan Fadel

    A suggestion - Step 1 - Explain the whole situation to your gf/his ex clearly and tell her that you need to go on a break temporarily until the issue with your friend is resolved because you can't bear to see him like this. Step 2 - Tell your friend that you've stepped back from the relationship and that you'd like to talk to him. Meet him in person and tell him that you value his friendship a lot and won't proceed with the relationship unless he feels ok about it. Give him time - he'll eventually get over it and you can have both your friend and avoid breaking the girl's heart. If the friend refuses to see your point of view or is still acting hostile towards you (of course he needs time to get over it, that's normal and expected) then he's not really your friend and you just dodged a bullet right there. If the girl doesn't respect your wishes of getting your friend back and doesn't give you space/time to resolve the issue with him, then even she is not worth it and you just dodged another bullet. Best case scenario - you'll get both of them back and worst case scenario - things will be a lot clearer for you and if you're ever forced to choose between the two, you'll know who to pick

  • Roger Effertz

    So, I have a brother with mental illness too, and something I've had to recognize is that while none of his actions are my fault, I've still exposed my friends to really uncomfortable, unfortunate situations because of it. I think mailing them a letter and explaining everything is a great idea, but it's also good to apologize for putting them in a really uncomfortable, possibly scary, confusing situation. If it were me, I'd say that I value their friendship and I hope we can rebuild it and that I'm deeply sorry for putting them in an uncomfortable situation with someone who is a stranger to them. Obviously it doesn't make you a bad person or that it was all your fault or that you even did something horribly wrong--it can be really chaotic and confusing and horrible to deal with a sibling in the throes of a mental health breakdown and second guessing what you did and didn't do isn't really that helpful. Better to just apologize and try to see what they need to move forward, and mourn the relationship if they can't. They're not being assholes. Also, they don't necessarily know what you wanted, and it might not even matter. What matters is what happened.

  • Lorine Krajcik

    Hmm I personally would not see rebound relationships as a bad thing, as long as you know that it is what it is. This knowledge puts a filter on you as to what to demand from your new "to-be" partner, making you less needy when your overwhelming emotions dictate the opposite. It would be good to find out what draws your ISTP to you, what he values in you. Is it the same you value in yourself right now too? Even if we are still talking about you two being friends. Maybe he is aware of your inner struggle too and stay silent because he values your relationship and risks ruining it? Finally, there is such a thin line between fwb and relationships. Do you know what kind of level of commitment do you want and/or need? Speaking from personal experience, I am very emotionally intimate with most of my friends (depends on the type of friendship too), so fwb seems like a perfect relationship for me if you ask. Maybe fwb is really the perfect way for you to keep your friend AND take time for yourself to sort out your inner needs. Gosh, I speak from the same place right now :) good luck.

  • Shyanne Marks

    Just preface this by saying I'm not very good at making friends, or keeping them especially when distances are involved. My friend was real religious. Not particularly practicing kind but he liked to think he had a lot of values. Some got real extreme at the end (Al Qeada apologist levels of extreme). Got into a religious argument that went real bad from his perspective (basically argued that allah is not evil or good but just a sissy pushover little pussy and challenged him to prove me wrong). Talked again three times in as many months but it had gone cold. Haven't talked for over 3 years now. Thinking back, it wasn't exactly a blossoming friendship towards the end. We would argue about great existential topics without any experience just for the sake of an argument. Neither really believing a position just taking opposite sides. Shame too coz we basically hung out everyday since grade 8 to uni. If you value your friendship, respect their point of views...especially when it comes to religion. Some people are real touchy about that sort of shit.

  • Catherine Sawayn

    I have to disagree with most of the advice here. Rather than coming right out and telling the wife, I think you need to focus on the "I am your best friend, you are ruining the lives of potentially multiple people here, now tell her and be a fucking man." Especially if you value your friendship with him as much as you say (yea yea the guy's an asshole, I agree, but 28 years is a long freaking friendship so cut OP some slack). He is obviously disturbed from something. Not-quite-midlife crisis? Has she cheated on him (or he falsely thinks she has) and this is his little revenge? Deep depression or some other mental illness? If he has never behaved this way before, something is up. Be the man and explain to him how unfair he is being to his future children. It's up to you if you want to use an ultimatum (i.e., "you tell or I'm gonna start dropping hints"). That said, I concur with the rest of the posters -- if it isn't happening, or it becomes clear that he will never in a million years turn himself in, *do something to stop this* before she gets pregnant. No friendship is worth risking the healthy childhood of an innocent kid.

  • Lee Torp

    You will probably need more advice than you'll get over a few comments. Your concern however valid is honestly out of your hands if you don't have the backing from your decision makers. We could make all kinds of excuses about who's still fault, causes and all that jazz, in the meanwhile you're still digging a hole for yourself. 1. Leave the friendship of your boss and service provider alone, in the end you'll get burned. 2. Try to win him over by proposing solutions that benefit your role and less about IT solutions. Why? See point #1. If he sees the business value in your proposals he'll eventually have to make the tough decisions on his own and you win while making it look like it was his idea. About the rest, server questions, solutions etc. I won't suggest you do XYZ, that's just blind advice. PM and I'll be happy to give feedback on any of your ideas, research that will hopefully help you make an informed decision.

  • Dedric Lemke

    Sounds almost exactly what happened to my friend and I, I'm also 22. We were really close in high school. I started dating someone at 18, friend and I were hanging out a lot. He confessed his feelings. I felt it would be disrespectful to keep a friend around who had feelings for me so I faded out that friendship and told my boyfriend. Now my boyfriend and are still together, so keep that in mind. But if I was ever single I would see if that friend would want to get back in touch to rekindle the *friendship* not necessarily a romantic relationship, because while I wasn't necessarily interested in him I did value his friendship that I lost. So it sounds like you might be jumping the gun on this. Who knows though, maybe she is interested in you. Just take it slow, see how it is just hanging out together and don't be pushy about asking her where she stands in a romantic relationship, just catch up and be cool about it.

  • Rosalind West

    Well, the day is for Women. So the post seems to celebrate the women of a game we all enjoy. Nothing in the post devalues men. But it's interesting you wrote "fathers" as if to you women automatically mean mothers. To be a woman is more than just motherhood. I suspect the day is to celebrate all of the things it is that women are, not just their biology or a role that many women occupy. Women can be strong, wonderfully supportive, loving, caring, driven, and in a world that still has a lot of devaluing women in general in many societies this kind of reminder and celebration is needed, welcome, and a sign of a society that wants to value them alongside men. Not to replace them. I see nothing here that is demeaning men or seeking to replace them, and joining in to celebrate women does not make you less. All of this is said with friendship, brother (or sister, if you happen to be female) Sincerely, A man

  • Dariana Crona

    I have one female friend left. She is not like this. We've known eachother like pals for 10 or so years. I am not saying NAWALT, but she is the only one that comes close or ever came close. As for the few other female friends I have had in life; yep. They were mostly like this. I would enjoy the company of a particular girl because she had interesting stories and was quite intelligent. We shared an interest in hiking so all during the summer we would hike and have a genuine good time. This was during the time she was a student. As soon as she got a job, things changed somehow. She was never available and would not message back for days. Oh yeah she would call me to come fix something in her shitty apartment of course. The only solution in the end was not giving a fuck. Then they would wonder why I was no longer interested in meeting and talking. I would just slowly slip out of the friendship and nothing of value was lost in the end.

  • Davion Hills

    Pretty sure Sherlock is a more handsome, less fictionalized version of myself. I have 3 dogs and 1 cat (who is mostly a dog). I live a bit far from you...but I long to live on the West Coast, specifically Portland, Vancouver, Seattle-ish areas. My heart longs for the ocean, for the UK, for actual seasons (and not all before noon, like in the South - where I'm from unfortunately). Like you, I'm not sure what I'm looking for but friendship for sure. Distraction from my daily life, I imagine. Something to kick my muse in her ass so I can start writing again. I'm a writer, btw. I value clear communication as well. I like bluntness, honesty. I'm loyal to a fault, but once that loyalty is gone, it's gone for good. I used to dabble in the heterosexual stuff. Alas, it was merely a phase. Please explain the rodent themed gift as a way to your heart? I am intrigued. :)

  • Danyka Jacobi

    Just finished the main story last week, and HOS last night, skimming through BAW right now. My journey, please see below (some spoilers): 1. I felt the value of trust and friendship with Geralt's buddies. True friends will lend you a hand in your most darkest hour. 2. You can fall in love with 2 people and cannot choose between either of them. 3. Feeling of having to guide a daughter, but want the best for her. 4. The more you want, the more it will corrupt you, be contented with what you have and make the most of it. :) 5. Evil is tricky, mischievous, scary, ruthless and powerful, but can be outwitted as long as you have pure good intentions to help others. 6. Witcher 3 can match your personality based on your decisions with scenarios in game. 7. A witcher's life is rough and hard, especially on the financials side. 8. Being a asshole has its consequences (dire!) on the end.

  • Meggie Russel

    Sure, Because you are not always going to be 24 and living with your parents working a shitty retail job. Here is what I would say. It seems from your post that your expectations of where you think you "should" be are far from where you are and this is making you feel as if your life doesn't have value. Your life has value and it is not dependant on how many friends you have, what job you have, where you live, or how well you are doing as compared to your peers. I can imagine you are feeling overwhelmed trying to change too many things at once. Think about what you value most in life, perhaps friendship, and start from there. If you have people that you talk to and hang out with then perhaps you aren't giving them a chance to be friends with you. Opening up and sharing can invite others to share as well which in turn can foster a "real" connection.

  • Jazmin Mraz

    If you want to move past it without hard feelings, then you don't 'tell them off.' What your friend said hurt you and you want to hurt them back. But as you realize, then they'll just want to hurt *you* back and you won't get anywhere. So it's not helpful to unleash your anger at them and try to make them feel as shitty as they made you feel. You can certainly explain why you were upset by what they said, but you need to do it in a calm and non-judgmental manner if you want this conversation to improve things. Mention that you value the friendship. Use "I" statements, don't cast blame. You can be confident, but don't be aggressive. Hopefully this goes without saying, but don't have this conversation in front of the group. If you embarrass them they aren't going to listen to what you have to say no matter how eloquent it is.

  • Deangelo Reichel

    Well, he's my friend, and has been outside of Overwatch for a very long time. Long story short, I built my first gaming PC specifically to play OW. After about 200 hours, I'm just now starting to feel more confident with kb + m than a controller. My buds always queued up with me as I progressed from terrible to half-way decent, and never made me feel like I was dragging them down when I undoubtably was. So I value friendship over comp rank (just slightly - I still want to win, dammit.) And all temper tantrums aside, we still win more often than we lose, especially if we get matched up with some good tank and support players. I also never mind solo queuing but often times I'll get matched up with some asshole who's just as bad or even worse.

  • Darron Wisozk

    I value my friendship with an amazing person on this sub. I love this gentleman a lot. He's been through a lot and continues to deal with problems in his life with uncertainty. Fuck those who are down-voting him and his generosity. You may not agree with his ideals. You may not agree with him. But GOD FUCKING DAMNIT, this sub is about generosity and being good people. Even in the worst of times when you can choose be a good person and you chose to fucking kick someone when they are down, FUCK YOU. Fuck those who constantly down-vote some specific people. Is it fucking worth it to be a constant fucking jackass and make you feel better by targeting people? I don't know as it's not something I do, but if it makes you feel good then you're not worth my time.

  • Myriam Heaney

    My rules for monk mode (I never do this, value it): 1. Exercise. Everyday. I don't care what you do. End goal is lifting but start wherever you are at. 1. Read. A couple hours a day. Don't care what you read at first. End goal is whatever self improvement appeals to you. 1. Find a male friend. Take your time. It may be family or whoever. Find another man you like to be around and foster a friendship. 1. After 1-3. If you are taking any form of pill for treatment of mental health issues, talk to your doctor about getting off the medication and if he agrees, see what happens when you aren't on the medicine. There is no shame in needing medication but many times the first three steps alleviate the issue. 1. After and only after 1-4, then start working on social interaction with women.

  • Josie Becker

    I totally agree re: confidence, but I don't see how that contradicts my advice. They work well together. I agree that it's foolish to derive confidence from someone else's approval. On the flip side, one who has many friends can derive a sense of security in their social status. If Chad gives you shit but then Stacy grabs your arm and walks you away from the situation because she values your friendship, Chad has to reassess where you stand in regards to him. He may even question his own status. Confidence and popularity are a game, a series of feints and jabs where nobody is as confident in themselves as they outwardly appear. Having a wide social circle displays high value to the people who don't know you.

  • Devonte Marquardt

    >But the thing with her is that something like this would make her try to ruin me. No. Shut it down. You have a shitty friend. No matter how lonely you might be (or might not be), you do not need people like this in your life. You said yourself that you made out with this guy for around 5 minutes. That's not the same as having sex with someone. And even if you had boned this guy: It's none of her business. At that point in time, her exclusive claim to this guy's physical affection was void. Please stop believing that you "did a bad thing." You did a thing. It wasn't good or bad. I think your real problem is that you're assigning too much value to a friendship with an individual who sounds like an all-around bad person.

  • Noe Hilll

    I'm just gonna answer this post with reference to Chris's post earlier, I feel that there is 2 possibility either: 1. Marco will take his friends (jackie, janna, etc.) with him on his search for star on mewni. This could potentially show how much he has developed throughout the series due to finally understanding the value of friendship and true bond (probably due to Star coming into his life) 2. OR, he will continue to be the old shallow person who have no deep connections with anybody other than Star. imo all is not lost yet, so I think you should hold onto your so called "hatred" for marco's character and wait until we see whether marco has changed or not, in my humble opinion

  • Sylvan Goldner

    I feel uneasy about this for several reasons. First of all what do YOU want. You value the friendship more or is it the benefits, could you do one without the other, or are you happy with this arrangement? Secondly you talk about making the decision for her... and I feel like that that is not your place. I assume you are both adults and capable of making your own decisions. If I were in her position I would hate someone doing this to me. I was honest, and because of my honesty something I really valued got changed. Then you will know for sure she will get hurt. Which she might anyway but then it will be her decision. I don´t know, maybe have another talk about it, lay it all out there and see what you both want.

  • Jeremy Hirthe

    The dynamic will never be like between you and a man. AWALT like hypergamy, herd mind, follower, child-like, and sexual aversion to weakness still applies no matter how long you've known her. In other words, never forget she's a woman and the nature that lies beneath. Keep that in mind and you should be fine. - However, if you're honest with yourself, break down all the subconscious thought process involved in this relationship, and break down the pros and cons (ie imagining her behavior but as a man), you more than likely will conclude that the friendship is more than lacking, even useless. - If you still find value after that, go ahead.

  • Gloria Spencer

    >Could you explain why it has nothing to do with tax benefits? Because it has nothing to do with tax benefits. Quite simply, I don't think Catholics would have issues with a non-marital tax benefit of equivalent value available to unmarried people, or some sort of special relationship tax benefit that applies to some sort of...friendship, I guess. The objection has nothing to do with financial assets at all, and more to do with the sanctity and practice of marriage in a decidedly non-financial context. Custody of children may be an issue, cohabitation may be an issue, but tax advantage? That isn't of significant religious value.

  • Rebekah Marquardt

    If she wants some space for you to leave her alone, well, there's nothing you can do about that. Maybe write her a letter. Despite that everyone is bashing her and praising you for getting your dick wet, you know you have hurt her feelings and you want to make it right. Thank you for your kindness and empathy. Because there is a lot of grey area here, I would right her a short letter and hand it to her. Tell her you value your friendship and you didn't realize you crossed a boundary for her. Tell her you'd like to speak about it with her in person, or not, and you hope that you two can be friendly.

  • Louvenia Keebler

    I can see a reason for that: with random people you'll just see them once and then never again, but if someone you know does something dumb, you tell them about it, and then they do the same thing again in future games... the frustration can build up. I think that's where it's important to see whether your reaction is really proportional to what they actually did, and if you value the friendship or the game more. Of course, the reason you rage at them might not just be because of poor play, but bad sportsmanship, flaming, etc. If they're actually being a dick, it's a different matter and should definitely be confronted.

  • Ari Feil

    Are you asking whether the *friendship itself* can be good if you are friends with a bad person, or are you asking whether you would be *acting wrongly* in befriending a bad person? We can imagine friendship as an abstract sort of good, and that it fails to qualify as a good that adds positive value to your condition or the state of affairs if the friendship is unhealthy, or with a bad person, but this is different from saying that it would be *wrong* to be friends with a bad person. Off the top of my head I can't really think of any convincing moral reason not to be friends with a bad person, though perhaps someone who knows more on this subject can provide one.

  • Jarret Moore

    I'm sure you know best because you're there, but I just feel like an effort should be made if you value the friendship at all. It's possible you're putting in all the effort and they none which is exhausting and worth cutting off, however if there's any part of you that wants to remain friends I say what's the harm in putting yourself out there. If you are bothering them then the end result is the same however if you're not then you can remain friends. And after freshman year of college I can't smell Smirnoff without gagging. Oh god it's so gross.

  • Ramon Kutch

    Well, your ex and I are very different. I would've never been on a dating website so shortly after a breakup, and I wouldn't have been open to a friendship (unless I no longer had any feelings). I may just be biased/incorrect, but I generally don't think someone who still loves you would be open to seeing other people/wanting to only resume your friendship. Regardless, if you became better after the breakup, maybe it served as a life-changing event that led you to the man you should be. If she doesn't value the changes you made, then someone else eventually will.

  • Keyon Marks

    so you value your friendship with someone you aren't on good terms with anymore, just because you used two used to be closer when you were younger? and you value your friend not going through a divorce (even though he's cheating) versus telling his wife, who is a friend of yours, who has done nothing wrong? sorry but this is obvious to me, all that matters is the kind of person they are now, and your lifelong friend is being an asshole. his wife deserves to know, if you were in his wife's position, wouldn't you want to know?

  • Pablo Fay

    She could genuinely be uninterested in relationships right now in her life or she could just be uninterested in dating you completely. I think the only way for you to know for sure will be to just straight up ask her. It might be awkward but it will help you be able to move on from her much more easily if you know for sure. Just explain to her that you still have some romantic ideas but still really value her as a friend so you want to be sure so that you can move on and just focus on the friendship if she just doesn't want to date you specifically.

  • Lillie Turner

    You know, Cortez is an interesting point here. I actually happen to agree in a way. My FemShep was absolutely lesbian anyways, being with Liara in 1 and 3 and having no real romance, but a thing with Kelly, in ME2, and I absolutely loved the interaction with Cortez as the 2 gay best friends sort of thing. BUT: I can't help feeling that the value of this friendship was diminished because I never got a choice in the matter. The game decided for me that it has to be that way, not the way I roleplayed.

  • Eloise Zemlak

    When my two closest friends fell out with each other. My world has been fucked ever since and I feel helpless to stop the inevitable failure of my friendship with one of them. I used to be easy going, forgiving, gave everybody the benefit of the doubt, and I took everything at face value but now I'm neurotic, I second guess, and I read between the lines with everything and it's driving me insane and sometimes I just want to leave this place and start a new life a fresh (with my wife) I really do.

  • Kari Price

    I replied to you! I'm not sure if you didn't get or if this was the only follow up you deemed necessary - I'm not so good at this Reddit thing, lol - but I appreciate it nonetheless. I have definitely considered that and I'm glad to have some affirmation that it could be a bigger issue than perhaps I realize. As I said, if it really is a concrete incompatibility for him, then that's something I just have to accept and value our friendship for what it is rather than what I would like it to be.

  • Jayme Hoeger

    A lot of people have said, "go out." I totally agree with that, but I'd add to that. Become a good listener. Give a shit. Ask good questions. People like feeling heard, and you'll make more friends and learn more about someone by being a good listener. Also, I think, be honest. If you've made a friend, tell them you value their friendship. Tell them when you enjoyed hanging out or if something they said really impacted you. Open up a little.

  • Giovanni Gibson

    That's really unfortunate. Although you may want to remain friends, I have a good feeling friendship with her would be impossible for at least a year. I think you should just have a really long, in person, sit down talk with her and let her know that you still value her as a person and a friend, but that you just aren't feeling it anymore. Maybe ask to take a break for a little - or ask her for her thoughts on the relationship and see if she's been feeling the same way. All the best dude.

  • Al O'Reilly

    >Everybody pretends they're happier While they're not, while they experience regular sex and things incels can only dream about. They don't value what they have so I can't understand how people don't understand that we're angry because of sexual and social deprivation. We're worthless to the majority of women. And don't you dare to want more than friendship, you creep! (projection)

  • Kaylee Bruen

    If you can trust him, take what he said at face value. He was handed it and it was awkward to give it back. So, yes, I think you're being unreasonable about the pot. He seems like he's being honest and open about it so far. That said, why on earth is this chick giving him edibles? Who is she? Is it a friendship gesture or something more? I'd be more concerned about the mystery classmate giving my spouse edibles than the pot itself...

  • Genevieve Hills

    We bribe them with friendship. Relevant: there's an island in the middle of the straight between Ellesmere Island and Greenland. Hans Island, as it's named, is a tiny rock with absolutely nothing of value. Both countries claim it as their own. Military patrols from both countries will stop at the island regularly and replace the other country's placed flag. It's all well and friendly.

  • Ivory Collins

    I'm sorry to hear that :( I know it's crazy late, but happy birthday for that day. If your family can't give you support, and you are single, I guess i'd try to meet a friend who would value me as much as I value them. Friendship can really lift you up. It's hard. Being in my thirties, social circles seem to be closed off. I really have tried to make an effort to meet people, and I have, but so far no one i'm very close to.

  • Kevin Hamill

    You can let him down gently & clearly without having to explain you have a boyfriend. You wouldnt date him if you were single either so no need to cop out by saying the reason he cant date you is because of another man. "I'm flattered but I am not interested in a romantic relationship. I value our friendship and hope it can continue."

  • Oliver Skiles

    Oh that's called a mooch not a friend. But you do have something that works out. He supplies you with a safe place to smoke and you supply his weed. The value of the friendship for him was shown when smoked your shit with no apology or offering money. So you can either keep things going the way they've been and be conscious that if you leave anything he'll smoke it. Or you can find a new safe place to smoke

  • Stanton Beatty

    If you consider 'society' to mean 'employees and workers' and 'value' to equal 'profit' then you're right. Luckily for us all, this is not true. So many other things matter more: family, friendship, learning, good health, freedom, spirituality, dreams. Step back and widen your perspective.

  • Libby Ankunding

    I was in your situation and fucked up royally. Lost my best friend of 25 years because I considered his gf/wife my friend and she made me promise to keep her secret. If you value his friendship at all, you need to drop her and get in front of this now. If he doesn't mean anything to you, tell her to come over and show you that in person.

  • Jettie Bosco

    I was hoping that Carol would be free of the friendship with Jones but instead Bendis trying make it seem like it has any value with one of his BS retcons via flashback since he still wants to pretend that the force friendship between Jones and Danvers has value.

  • Hattie Dickinson

    However much you value him as a friend, he doesn't think of you as one. He has made it clear that he only wants you for sex, not love or friendship. He doesn't respect you, that's for sure, nor is he worried about losing your friendship. You deserve better than a scummy jerk like him.

  • Gilbert Gleason

    Developmental Psychology (child psych) suffers from mostly low correlations. In my field, attachment and friendship qualities, it isn't uncommon to become excited over a .3 r-value. It seriously discredits (imo) the entire field.

  • Christelle Graham

    You know, as much as I value your friendship, I cant be your personal life preserver for ever. Someday you need to learn. *makes a call* I queued up a transport. it's waiting at the hangar. I also told Haasa to launch the probe. I think I have a call of my own to make.

  • Colten Botsford

    Where do you get Hermione was disappointed to be in Gryffindor ? She says at the end of PS : "Books! And cleverness! There are more important things – friendship and bravery" so I think it still makes sense. Not that she didn't value the rest of it

  • Kory Raynor

    I get you man. It can be tough. The only thing that comes to my mind is that maybe you can show her what you can give to her, comfort love and friendship. Make her see and value other things in life. Be a positive influence and see what happens in time.

  • Markus Rath

    I was thinking about it for probably 4 months. It took a long time to get the courage to realize that we were no longer lovers but really good friends, and that the friendship has value on its own as well.

  • Shanel Bode

    It's about the value of time. They spent their time cooking for you, out of respect you spend your time cleaning. They aren't your servant to cook and clean for you, they cooked for you out of friendship.

  • Cecil Baumbach

    Sure. Friendship goes a long way. To me also, it's important for me to be happy first before having a partner, because having a partner means I see him adding value to my life, but he's not the source of my happiness.

  • Johnny Luettgen

    I feel so alone in really not caring that much about romances in the game. I really value a good, well-written friendship over some cheesy and overly simplified romantic subplot...

  • Zander Bayer

    Too bored to go out? Is that even a thing? Clearly she doesn't value your friendship the same way you value hers. In some ways, she did you a favor by making that abundantly clear. Not an asshole!

  • Blaise Funk

    Great "good friend" you are. What harm is him having another region's Pokemon doing to you? It looks to me that you value a mobile game more than your friendship.

  • Palma Marquardt

    Sounds as though you're getting along better as friends because you don't really work as a couple. If you value her friendship I'd probably leave it as it is. At least for now.

  • Maegan Roberts

    Translation for you: "I like you, but I don't find you attractive enough to want to date you." Or "I value our friendship too much to possibly fuck it up."

  • Miles Daniel

    worried this might be the case :/ it's depressing because i value her friendship, but not being able to just hang out with each other is really starting to get to me

  • Madilyn Larson

    You really don't place much value on friendship, do you? I'm also really shocked about how unsympathetic people are being about her injury.

  • Mohammed Hilll

    Because people hold on to feelings for a long time. Sounds like bullshit but if you value a friendship that means more than a tasty hook up.

  • Norris Kilback

    Nope. You get one shot at these things, asking her again will just make you look pushy and like you don't value her friendship at all.

  • Ariane Kautzer

    Gryffindors are brave and heroic, they value courage, chivalry, friendship. Sound 100% fucking Tracer.

  • Karley Hodkiewicz

    It feels like if I do that I may lose out on her friendship which I value a lot.

  • Florida Casper

    If you value the friendship, don't do it. Someone will get hurt.

  • Lisandro Reinger

    better to ask first, if you value the friendship.

  • Jeramie Orn

    Wow. I didn't expect that. I see what you mean. It doesn't sit well with me either. Yet, it does seem like there is a lot of truth in the Law of One. I didn't read all of it yet though. Let me start with the idea of spiritual energy. It is made by consciousness in positive emotional states (love based) and radiated in negative emotional states (fear based). The light inspires love based emotional states with their beliefs and behaviors. The dark inspires fear based emotional states, with their beliefs and behaviors. It is said that we and other planets are (loosh) farms for this spiritual energy for the benefit of malevolent beings. By being in the same base emotional state of fear, beings can absorb this radiated spiritual energy. This phenomenon is why misery loves company. It is why sadists love to torment. It is the purpose for sacrifice rituals. I had to explain this for the rest to make sense, please bear with me. As said in the Law of One, as well as by other messengers, we are allowed to be exploited, harassed and corrupted by negative ETs and then this idea of harvest/graduation comes at the end of it *if* we censor our minds into a positive polarity or go nearly fully self-serving into a negative polarity. Otherwise we have to go back and be molested yet again by loosh (spiritual energy) farmers, aka the dark. I think true freedom lies outside of the perception of duality. I don't see light and dark anymore. I see parasites and producers of value for consciousness. Truly benevolent beings would prevent infections rather than facilitating them. A healthy body protects its cells from parasitic organisms with a strong immune system response. So much of the time I contemplate duality I think that the light effectively helps the dark harvest our spiritual energy. The light fertilizes us with loving perspectives and messages and maintains our positivity in order to maintain the generation of this spiritual energy. However, they never do what an immune system does and effectively identify, target and eliminate parasites. In fact they are dogmatic in their belief that they must not and that we need to interact with "the dark", which is essentially just spiritual parasites. The dark causes suffering and fear which extracts our spiritual energy. To have only light would cut out the harvesting of spiritual energy. To have only dark would cut out the generation and thus the harvesting of spiritual energy. For maximum spiritual energy *harvesting*, a sort of balance is required. So, it is as if we are forced to choose which way we want to assist in the farming of loosh from other life forms or be forced back into molestation by the dark until we choose a polarity. Because of this perception I cannot identify with the light and I sure don't identify with the dark. It seems that they are both part of a system for perpetual spiritual slavery. Perhaps the light are largely duped into supporting this, thinking it is good and/or necessary via fear and dogma, much like religious people who can't question their faith. I now instead ressonate and identify with the idea of reflection of behavior. It is said as you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes back into you. I think as we approach the collective wisdom of all things, we come to realize that all choices are just choices, not so much light or dark. Yet, they come with consequences that do matter. So, a perception aligned with the golden rule emerges. The golden rule is to treat others as you would want to be treated. We don't need authority to tell us what is good or bad by honestly following this behavioral protocol. We need no master or middlemen in our experience of existence to be in self-control. If we truly are all one, we cannot escape the idea that what we do to others we do to ourselves. It just has some lag time through the process of incarnation. When there are only two incarnations it is obvious. Enslaving your neighbor will lead to an encarnation of enslavement. When there are many trillions, the reflection of behavior is not so obvious. So it becomes important to have principles and protocols that mitigate the ever present temptation of powerful beings to enslave and exploit weaker beings. Otherwise a few parasites can and will turn creation into a hell. So, instead of blanket forgiveness, I find value in conditional forgiveness based on the correction of behavior. If we forgive others who harm, we facilitate the harm. It doesn't help anyone, except the one doing the harm and our own self just in that moment before we are reoffended by witnessing or experiencing new harm. However we can much more easily forgive, and it has much more merit and benefit, if the one that did the harm has shown that they won't do it again. It also works if some other party restrains them so they can't harm, just not as well as the aforementioned scenario. I find forgiveness is a red herring for a dark in appearance, fear based, albeit necessary, emotional energy of correction. If we honor that energy of correction, forgiveness is easy. If we go against it, we get a lot of emotional resistance. The light seems to want us to forget about the energy of correction and forgive and love dark beings despite their incessant intentions to cause harm. That is too close to Stockholm syndrome. That is too close to condoning and perpetuating abuse. That is too close to submitting to slavery and it damn well feels that way too. It's like we are stressing the part of ourselves that wants to be free and self-deterministic to the breaking point. When we submit, we break it and feel broken, like a tamed animal. Why would truly benevolent beings want that? There are some other, also apparently benevolent, beings that say we are in a spiritual slavery system where we are forced to keep feeding parasites our energy, reincarnating to pay off karma we are set up to create, through poor circumstances we are told are to pay off our karma. It's a cycle, much like grazing and milking is for cows. They tell us duality is an illusion. They tell us that we are already worthy of God's acceptance and love, that we are God and a piece of God at the same time. They tell us to get off our knees and stop submitting to judgement from others. They tell us that we are being deceived. I tend to think this is the correct perspective. Life needs love and fear to remain independent and free. Throwing away one or the other, the desired effect of polarity, seems like a spiritual lobotomy now. Fear's role is protection, while love's role is growth. Growth without protection is ideal for farmers. That is low effort farming. Protection without spiritual energy production creates a tough parasite, usable by tougher parasites to harvest energy for themselves. We don't want to play that game though, do we? So, I have come to what I find a beautiful perspective on morality. I simply agree with everyone. The most loving and the most parasitic. I do it in a reflective way. As anyone puts out an idea of how others should be treated I think the phrase, "I agree with you, but for you alone!" If beings are isolated with other beings that agree with their intentions, parasitic behavior dies a hard and appropriate entropic death. Yet in the very same situation, contributory, productive or rather benevolent behavior instead builds upon itself and keeps growing. One perpetually creates and the other just destroys. If we were all put with those that agree with our intentions we'd get what we deserve, destruction or eternal creation. Or something less extreme in between. This might seem dualistic, but production of value and parasitism of value are the real choices behind the false paradigm of duality we are used to hearing. The light actually facilitates the parasitism. So, it is not the same perspective. The test is really a reflection of the behavior we give, being received by ourselves. I don't want to expose others to these parasites and I doubt very many others on this planet do either. I think I'd deserve them and through reincarnation in oneness in causality, I would experience them again and again too. No! To effectively do this reflection based allocation of beings based on intentions is to make parasitic behavior impossible in the long run. I'm hoping that this is closer to what might occur in correction of this planetary situation. It would be astonishingly beautiful and appropriate. God, or those aligned with its wisdom, would be like the perfect genies or martial artists that add momentum to attempted blows and throw their opponents with their own momentum. The parasites would despise this form of balance, while they thrived under the light dark paradigm's balance.

  • Itzel Conn

    I'm going to approach this from my worldview as Christian, because I appreciate difficult questions about faith as a whole. I'm of the mindset that a faith that can't stand up to scrutiny, that can't wrestle with criticism isn't a faith worth having, so thank you for giving me something to think about, honestly! >To me religious leaders are charlatans, but indeed not all charlatans are religious. Are we talking just the bigwig, name-brand, self-help-guru kind of religious leaders (Joel Osteen, Benny Hinn, etc.), or are you including leaders of smaller local churches as well? > Shit i wouldnt be surprised if most religious leaders with all their accumulated wealth and hipocrisy are atheists themselves. Who would accumulate wealth while truly believing theres a god that will judge your actions, while people suffer all around. To me, no one. Project 86's song "SMC" addresses this fantastically: >Big business ain’t easy I’m sure you’d agree Especially when the product is eternity- To stay one step ahead we must achieve And turn this holy temple Into a factory Is there anywhere you can run To hide from these thieves? - Cause eternity’s on sale today for a fee >Faith is buying me away Buying me a way To convert the masses into little servants Faith is buying me away Buying me a way Buying me into your home Faith is buying me away Buying me a way Buying me into your home >Our sanctuary of this high-rise Our steeples, our billboards Our slogans, our converts Oh don’t forget to buy this T-shirt As you leave And open up the offering box And give until it hurts Show me an open heart and we’ll steal it away Cause eternity’s on up for sale for a small fee today >This altar is a stage Our sponsor must be paid And maybe even make the front page This is a Christian band, so there are other believers that recognize hypocrisy when they see it, I promise! Like you've posted before, I think that there's a cult of personality around these people that brainwashes people that are easily emotionally manipulated. I think it's far too easy to get people *feel* something real than it is to convince them that something *is* real. When a charismatic figurehead wants to make people enthralled with whatever idea they happen to be selling, getting their targets to feel good is their modus operandi. Where I'm approaching this from the angle of a Christian, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that Jesus made people uncomfortable and the religious elite of the day hated him for it. Michael W. Smith vividly portrayed it in his song "Secret Ambition": >Old men watch from the outside Guarding their prey Threatened by the voice of the paragon Leading their lambs away Leading them far away There's absolutely nothing comfortable about the Christian faith as Jesus taught it. If Jesus was performing His ministry today, he would be directly assaulting these bastions of the prosperity gospel. He drove merchants from the temple, those profiting off of faith, drawing parallels to toothy-grinned preachers writing 15 different books to say the same idea of "be a good person and give me money". They wrap it in what I like to call "American Christianity", a nice, comfy way of using Christian terms to give people warm fuzzies but with none of the responsibility of treating every person as someone with intrinsic value, instead creating a very selfish, mirror-based paradigm where the only person in the world with intrinsic value is *you*. Speaking of being uncomfortable: >If people actually believed there were an eternal afterlife and you would be judged by your sacrifice in this life, every fucking single believer would be out there giving milk to a child in Somalia or something, it would simply be the logical action. I say this with the utmost respect for your thought, but I think that there's plenty of good that people can do here in their home countries as well. I think missionaries and humanitarian aid are incredibly important (and I think they should be done in tandem as much as possible). I think every single Christian should *support* it, logistically and financially, but I don't think that every Christian is necessarily *called* to go out . Here's my logic: There's a big difference between missions trips and missionaries. I think a lot of missions trips end up being a bunch of Americans gawking at destitute people for a week or two (many times taking building jobs that could have gone to local workers). There's no integration into the culture, no getting to know the people you're supposedly serving, and it ends up just being some kind of first-world guilt salve rather than a genuine outreach. It becomes a checkmark in a box: "welp, I went to the poor people in the third-world, Lord, just like You asked, I'm awful glad I could help!" On the other hand, there are missionaries that study the culture, language, and customs of the place they're going to. They're not there to sweep in like a hurricane of positivity for a week or two, they're there for months upon months, even years at a time. They integrate with the people they're attempting to reach, learn names, become a part of the community. These are people called to set aside their place in their home countries, sacrificing of their time, energy, finances, and in some cases, their very lives are given in the line of ministry. Not everyone is called to or even can do it, much like not everyone is cut out to be a police officer, fireman, or soldier, so when someone is willing and able to do it, it's an incredible thing that should be supported. I feel that it would be more genuine for someone to donate money to these missionaries rather than go on a week-long trip themselves. > To me noone actially believes anything, they just want a confused paradoxal rationalization which is difficult for most people to realize its flaws and sound like common sense, that supports whatever they choose to do no matter what, in order to feel good about themselves Jesus' teachings ripped into the comfortable religious folk that cared more about their customs and their position in the community than they actually did about applying their faith to their own lives (not to mention the lives of the people around them). Following Jesus is not an easy thing. There is grace that covers sin, yes. There is forgiveness. There is love beyond measure, as well. However, Jesus was serious about holiness. He didn't die so people could do whatever they wanted, He died to bridge that gap between us and God that our sin nature, that side of us that will continually push to live selfishly. We need to be saved from ourselves, and while Jesus dying on the cross did that, believing in God is not a one-and-done thing. Christianity calls for the continual "renewing of your mind" ([Romans 12:2](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans+12%3A2&version=NIV)). It's a lifetime process of cutting away whatever stands between us and God, to acknowledge and believe in Him as the only cure for our sin problem, and continue to work through that with His help. It's not like our sin nature catches Jesus by surprise, by any means. At the beginning of [John 8](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+8%3A11&version=NIV), we find religious leaders attempting to trap Jesus with a judgement on a woman caught in the act of adultery, trying to twist the Torah into something they could use against Him. Jesus basically tells them that they have their own sin nature to worry about, and that "any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." They drop their rocks and walk away, leaving Jesus and this adulterous woman standing in the middle of the street. He asks her where her accusers are, where these people who have condemned her have gone to. She looks around and answers "no one." Here's Jesus' final word on the subject: >“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” Jesus saves not so that the woman can immediately go back to cheating on her husband, but to go and repair that relationship. This is a free gift of salvation, but part of those terms are stepping away from what's been killing you and becoming a new person in Christ. At its core, Christianity is not a wishy-washy excuse for feeling okay about dying, it's an offer to be transformed by the message of Jesus Christ. It's not an easy thing, but it's a real and true thing when you really get down to what Jesus was both offering and asking of us. I like the way Michael Ramsden broke it down: >The words “I love you” mean something when the person who utters them knows exactly what you’re like and still cares for you. Love does not exist in the absence of judgment; true love exists when someone has passed the correct moral judgment on who you are and is under no illusions as to what you’re like, but still loves you. It's the same idea as if you got married and expected not to have to compromise on anything. When I first got married, I had a much clearer picture of how much work goes into a relationship. It's not just about you anymore, and when you love someone, you change, it's a gradual evolution toward the greater goal of a closer relationship over the years. Salvation isn't carte blanche to do whatever you want as long as you feel good. It's a promise toward working toward a closer relationship with God, letting His love and acceptance of you drive your transformation rather than out of fear of not doing enough to get into heaven. >you can be as racist and homicidal as you want and a religion will support it. People don't need religion to be racist or homicidal, they do more than well enough on their own. Stalin didn't need religion to justify the slaughter of his countrymen, nor did Pol Pot, but I agree that it doesn't do anyone any favors to link their terrible behavior to their religion.

  • Carey Heller

    >So why do I believe, in the end? Why does God do what he does, if he exists? I believe because I know it is true. really? that's all you have for me? Sounds like a complete cop-out. but I have to say I'm not surprised, this is what you hear from many of the faithful, they have no reasons, just beliefs. I'd expect more of an explanation from a 5 year old as to why his/her favorite television show is the best of all. Maybe you are apprehensive about sharing your reasoning because you think I will try and invalidate it. Perhaps you are insecure about your reason's ability to withstand such scrutiny and while you are instinctively driven to defend your position, you know putting it out there makes it vulnerable and you don't wish to see it destroyed. I don't know. But from where I'm standing, all I see is someone emphatically sure about something with no argument for why it is true, at least none they're willing to vocalize. >God does what he does, including the whole being-hard-to-get thing because it's the best policy. That's all there is to it. That's some straight-up Kool-aid shit right there. Do you know what I mean? You're basically saying *'don't ask questions, God doesn't like people who ask questions.'* Sounds like the policy of some mafia boss. But here I am, I don't get to talk to the guy; as far as I can tell, there is no evidence to support his existence; he's promising me a reward of unproven value or even existence that I can only collect on after death and most likely, I'll be encouraged to join and attend one of his organizations and subtly guilted into donating money regularly. Yet, I am not allowed to meet this person or ask him/her questions?(or at least recieve answers, as I have said, I have asked, but never recieved replies). You are ACTIVELY discouraging me from peeking behind the curtain??? Have you even seen the Wizard of Oz??? All of the above mentioned conditions are serious fucking red flags for a dubious cult! FFS >And you can be equally righteous in the sight of my God without even believing in him. I would hope so! IF god happened to exist, I would have no fear of his retribution, as I am sure he would at least know my heart at least as well as I know it myself. He/she would must understand my doubts and apprehension at affirming his/her dubious existence. If god did exist, and when I died he/she was at the gates of heaven and asked "why did you not believe in me?" I would laugh in his/her face, as what the fuck kinda question is that for a god to ask? Any god worthy of my respect (let alone worship) would never need to ask me a question! But on the face of it, the whole forgiveness shtick is a load of BS IMO. I want to pay for my own sins. God made the system (did he/she not?), so god and I can work out a payment system. If god insists that the penalty for one sin, no matter how minor, is eternity in hell, so be it! I do not care to spend eternity in the company of someone so draconian! Anyway, it's all moot, because I'm willing to bet my liver and both nuts that there is no heaven or hell. It's interesting to hear you claim that you can choose to believe that positive morals can have both spiritual and evolutionary roots. I have not heard that before, but I take it as a good sign. Because you're quite correct, religion will always loose out to science, as science is a process of building towards truth, while religion starts out with truth, and has to make concessions. At first blush I would think this to be alarming for theists, but perhaps it's alright. Some of use are a little slower than others and can't read the handwriting on the wall until others are miles ahead. But it's fine, it's bigger than any individual, what is important is that the trend is away from theism. First polytheism, then monotheism, then atheism. Wouldn't it be hilarious if in a few thousand years time the "faith" of the established church has completely dissolved away and it joined with science? Of course it would be completely unrecognizable, perhaps the cross would be the symbol, but dogmatic teaching would be abhorred and the principles of doubt and investigation and critical thinking would be the main tenants. One thing I think many modern, more liberal believers might have failed to take into account is that when they make concessions to science, even though they do so as to appear not in opposition to what they suspect may in fact be somewhat true, their efforts to align themselves with these ideas discredits and taints their belief system in the eyes of other like AND dislike-minded people. On the one hand, fellow believers see their adoption of scientific beliefs as a betrayal of the complete word of god; for if I recall correctly, the bible states clearly that it is not to be supplemented. (I know you are a mormon, so you probably don't legitimize this and I'm sure you have some explanation for how you claim to be christian yet you somehow have extra bonus books ole joe smith "found"). And on the other, skeptics wonder how someone claiming a direct line to god might have forgotten to mention certain obvious truths like "slavery is immoral." Where was your god-given morality then? To me, a believer who is trying to live in both worlds like you and the pope (who apparently believes in evolution) lose points for appearing opportunistic and divisive. >Science has nothing to say about God - the presence of God is neither provable nor disprovable. God either exists or he doesn't. Right? would seem weird if there was some grey area there. How many shadows does science have to illuminate before you realize that you're just grasping at straws hoping god is in that shadow there, or that one over there? >true science and true religion agree Give me a break, religion is based on dogma - the strict adherence to which puts most all religious believers beyond the possibility of rational discussion. Since there was no rational reason for someone to believe in god (hence need for faith) there is no rational argument that can get them to abandon their faith. Which is antithetical to the scientific perspective. >So, if true religion and true science come out to the same thing, Here is one of your major brain-blockages. You think that Science and Religion are two different paths to the same end-point - Truth. But that's not true. Your faith seems to be at least somewhat influenced by common modern-day scientific understanding, and you think these are things that one would find eventually along the spiritual path god may put you on, if that was his will, but they're not. You are hijacking truth from science and trying to annex it into your belief system. You say you believe morals can have an evolutionary root, but you try and credit your deity with being the originator of them. You use what you think is a clever logical trick (that one cannot prove god is *not* the origin of morals) to validate your claim, but it doesn't fool anyone but yourself and other people looking to confirm their bias!

  • Retta Jenkins

    > The issue that I have with this is that the most reliable method of arriving at the truth is the scientific method. I would take issue with this statement without strongly disagreeing. Science is one path that leads to the truth, but science can only function in a particular arena. Science is valueless if we are discussing Beethoven's 5th symphony, issues of forgiveness, an environment of peace, or a thousand other realities. Science has its place, and it's a fantastically beneficial discipline, but to relegate all knowledge to science is surely a mistake. Even your statement of "the most reliable method of arriving at the truth is the scientific method" is a philosophical one, based on a value judgment, and it cannot be confirmed with a science experiment. Therefore your statement is self-defeating, because you can't prove the truth of your claim with science alone. Even your statement of "I'm an [agnostic] ex-Christian apologist" cannot be confirmed or denied by science. Can data and science lead me to discern the truth of your self-identification? Of course not. If the most reliable method of arriving at the truth is the scientific method, I need to reject all notions of agnosticism and atheism, because they aren't scientifically established or confirmable. > And currently science seems to point to evolution rather than creation Evolution and creation are not mutually exclusive. I happen to believe in evolutionary creationism: God created the world and guided its evolution through its millions of years of process to the point where we are today. So I think your dichotomy (as if proving one true and one false) is a false dichotomy. > it's true we don't know exactly what happened to spark the Big Bang, but using Occam's Razor I don't see why God had to be the one that did it. God didn't have to be the one who did it, but He is possibly the most reasonable conclusion, given what we see in nature of order, regularity, predictability, some elements of design, personality and purpose. > I found it quite insulting that the lack of knowledge about the Big Bang was served as the proof for God. This is not, in my opinion, a valid argument: either that our lack of knowledge of serves as a proof for God, or that the shallow argument of some Christians serves as evidence against God. > If God indeed is the truth, why should people be punished for using the most reliable method of seeking the truth? Why would God condemn people who are unbiased and truly want to know if God exists (ie. not militant atheists/theists) and simply make the wrong call based on the available evidence? Hmm. No one is being punished for using a reliable method of seeking truth. Science is a valid (and amazing!) path there, even though all knowledge cannot be gained from science. As Galileo said, "God has two words: Science and the Bible." God has revealed himself through his person and through his works. There is no fundamental disagreement between theism and science. For that matter, Alvin Plantinga, in "Where the Conflict Really Lies," argues quite convincingly that "There is superficial conflict but deep concord between science and theistic religion, but superficial concord and deep conflict between science and naturalism." It's a fascinating read, though quite heavy. > John 20.29 From my study of the Bible and my experience as a Christian, I define faith as "making an assumption of truth based on enough evidence to make it reasonable to make that assumption." In the Bible, faith is evidentiary. In my opinion, belief is always a choice, and is always based on evidence. When you sit down in a chair, you didn’t think twice about sitting down. You believe that the chair will hold you. Faith? Yes. You've sat in chairs hundreds of times, but you can't be absolutely sure it will hold you this time. Chairs do break on occasion. But you make an assumption of truth based on enough evidence to make it reasonable for you to make that assumption, and you sit down. That's faith, and it was a conscious choice. Almost all of life works this way because we can never know what lies ahead. Every time you turn a door knob you are expressing faith. Because 10,000 times you've turned a door knob, and it opened the door. So you turn the knob and move forward. Does it always work that way? No. Sometimes you turn the knob and the door doesn’t open. But you make an assumption of truth based on enough evidence to make it reasonable for you to make that assumption. We know chairs hold people. That's past experience and learning. We know turning door knobs open doors. We know that when we turn a key a car starts. But every time we turn a car key, we do it because we believe it will start. The evidence is compelling, and it was a conscious choice. We don't know for sure that the car will start, and unfortunately sometimes it doesn't. Then we use our knowledge to try to figure out what to do about it. We dial our phone (as an act of faith, assuming it will work and help us reach another person), and try to get help. You'll notice in the Bible that evidence precedes faith. God appears to Moses in a burning bush before he expect him to believe. He gave signs to take back to Pharaoh and the Israelite people, so they could see the signs before they were expected to believe. So also through the whole OT. In the NT, Jesus started off with turning water into wine, healing some people, casting out demons, and then he taught them about faith. And they couldn't possibly understand the resurrection until there was some evidence to go on. The whole Bible is God revealing himself to us all—and I mean *actually*, not through some exercise of faith. My faith in God is a conscious choice because I find the evidence compelling. It's an assumption of truth based on enough evidence to make it reasonable for me to make that assumption. When you read the Bible, people came to Jesus to be healed because they had heard about other people who had been healed. They had seen other people whom Jesus had healed. People had heard him teach. Their faith was based on evidence. Jesus kept giving them new information, and they gained new knowledge from it. Based on that knowledge, they acted with more faith. People came to him to make requests. See how it works? My belief in God is based on my knowledge of the credibility of those writings, the logic of the teaching, and the historical evidence behind it all. The resurrection, for instance, has evidences that give it credibility that motivate me to believe in it. My faith in the resurrection is an assumption of truth based on enough evidence that makes it reasonable to hold that assumption. The same is true for my belief in the existence of God, my belief that the Bible is God's word, and my understanding of how life works. I would contend that faith is never blind. There are other kinds of knowledge, however, and other kinds of faith. Science is not our only path to knowledge. Science is inductive and deductive, but there is also abductive reasoning, abstract reasoning, and even intuition. Memory also plays into knowledge. Sometimes we believe things without seeing them based on the testimony of a person we trust. (We actually do this far more than we realize.) Such belief is not antithetical to science, but on parallel tracks to it.

  • Chauncey Murray

    I was gonna write a small reply but it turned into a novel. It's basically an analysis is Sasuke, but it evidentially answers the question you posed. When I first finished the series, I was really upset that Sasuke and Sakura ended up together. It seemed so unhealthy and I didn't like it at all. However, over time, my position changed for many reasons. The biggest reason, I think, doesn't lie in understanding Sakura, but in understanding Sasuke. If you consider his entire story, the decisions he makes reflect his ideologies. Though it's easy to accept at face-value, Sasuke is NOT a heartless person. Remember how Tobirama mentions that Uchiha have a gift/curse on them because they have the deepest capacity for love? That definitely includes Sasuke. As a little boy, you see Sasuke as practical, but very emotionally open. He makes no attempts to hide his desire to spend time with his brother. He wants to be with him, he wants to be like him, and he still pursues him without reservation every time Itachi defers to spend time with him or tells him "next time". In that same vein, he cares deeply about what his father thinks, his deep desire is to see his father be proud of him. He talks openly with his mother about his feelings. He is connected with his clan, chatting happily with the older folks and is open to everyone. He's a normal, emotionally-adjusted little boy. The trauma that he experienced *completely* shuts down any healthy emotional outlets he had, primarily because the one person he pursued so happily every time he was told "no", was the one who cruelly and selfishly severed every single connection he had. Itachi *maimed* this kid's psyche with the massacre. Sasuke's trauma sends him into total isolation. It is better to not have connections at all than to have any and be harmed. You can see this way of thinking in the way he acts and treats others. He doesn't care if people come close to him or not, he's always detached... which is a very unhealthy human response. But, you can see in early Naruto that he comes to greatly care for Naruto and Sakura. He very nearly sacrificed his life for Naruto in the fight against Haku... it seems very strange for someone who doesn't feel to make a call like that. But Sasuke *does* feel, which becomes a great concern later on. In regards to Sakura, you can see many times in the first series that he tries to protect her when she's in danger, and that her safety matters a lot to him. When his curse mark activates and he's on a blind rampage in the forest during the chuunin exams, Sakura runs up to him and hugs him, which makes him suppress his curse mark. Her pleas and her touch soften his heart, which allows him to back down from his cruelty. I think that's actually a huge moment into his psyche and a potential springboard for the decision he chooses to make. If Sakura's pleas and her touch can calm a raging violence within him... how will he ever be able to exact his revenge? In the final fight we see that Sasuke confesses to Naruto that seeing Naruto desperately try to bond with other reminded him of himself within his own family (wanting love from Itachi and his father) and that being on Team 7 made him remember them and feel like he was making a new family with them. Because of this feeling within him, he had to make an ideological choice: is it better for him to avenge his clan and all those he loved by killing Itachi... or is it better to quell the vengeance and "settle down" emotionally with Team 7, his new family? His pain and trauma are too great. When Itachi shows up and is only interested in Naruto, and Sasuke realizes his power is nothing compared to him, it rips his wounds wide open. He decides that even if he goes to Orochimaru, and EVEN IF Orochimaru takes his body someday and he ceases to exist, it's all worth it if he can kill Itachi. His ideology is so great that he decides to risk everything for it. His departure from the village shows a small glimpse into what is going on inside his heart. When Sakura tries to stop him, Sasuke doesn't seem fazed or moved at all. But that last moment when he appears behind her, he simply says, "Sakura... thank you." What was the "thank you" for? Even in his seeming heartlessness, he knows that she loves and cares for him and is willing to do whatever she can to make him happy. There is something in that which he can feel and appreciate, even as he's made his choice to cut out his heart in favor of avenging his family. I think it's very symbolic and amazing storytelling that the only times we ever see Sasuke's inner emotional dialogue is when he's a child and while he and Naruto are bleeding out (and after). That's because from the time we first see him join the team until he admits "defeat", he's locked up in a traumatic state that doesn't allow him to feel that he can be open to love and forgiveness. As he admits that he has "lost" after the final fight, he doesn't mean physically, as he and Naruto are in the exact same position. He means he's lost and that he will be open to feel and understand the pain of others around him, but secluding himself in unforgiveness and rage. As soon as he makes this proclamation, Sakura appears soon after. And in this moment, he apologizes to her. It seems so small after all he's done, but in a way, he had locked his heart and feelings in a cage for many years, and that moment at the final fight was him opening up and saying, "I'm letting go of all this rage and vengeance that's atrophied my heart." From there, the next things we see are him asking forgiveness from Sakura, and then openly displaying the deepest personal form of affection he holds, tapping her on the forehead. This is a long analysis, but I think the tl;dr is that 1. Kid Sasuke was emotionally healthy 2. Post-massacre Sasuke was a self-isolating, deeply traumatized person that internalized every feeling and pain to drive him towards his goal of killing Itachi. 3. Almost dying for Naruto and having Sakura able to suppress his violent rage unsettled him, realizing that if he stayed with Team 7, he wouldn't put himself in the position to let his rage free to kill Itachi. He closes his heart completely to this end. 4. Post-Final Fight Sasuke opens his heart when Naruto finally reaches it. He immediately asks for forgiveness and displays a symbol of affection so deep towards Sakura that the significance of it is hard to overstate. So, IMO... I do believe Sasuke really loves Sakura, but for about 98% of the Naruto story, he is so traumatized and rage-filled he is unable to love at all.

  • Wyatt Terry

    > I am on your porch, hat in hand, coming to apologize. So, why were you on her porch? Why not call? Or email? Or call to let her know you were coming? Or was it perhaps that things had *already* gone so severely to shit that the only way to actually contact her at this point was to show up unannounced and ambush her? > You and **husband** both coldly ignoring my repeated knocking, until finally, I turned and walked away. As tends to happen when you ambush someone in their house unannounced after pissing them off so bad they don't want to talk to you any other way. But hey, you showed up, so she's *obligated* to accept your apology on behalf of someone else who neither wishes to apologize, nor intends to modify her behaviour, so obviously the OP is the bad guy here! > I imagined you both justifying this by saying he is just here because **nmom** sent him No, I imagine you were there because Nmom made your life shitty because someone told her 'no', so you decided to get her source of grandkids back so she'd leave you alone. I doubt she did anything as aware as dispatching you. *You're* the enabler, it's *your* job to take care of that for her. > dismissed as a hapless appendage of Mom. Which tells me either the op suggested that idea to you in one of the attempts she made to explain why she doesn't like being treated like zombies m's personal baby factory (which apparently didn't happen hence your current cluelessness) or you are actually self aware to KNOW you are Nmom's hapless appendage, and just maintain a level of doublethink necessary to both know what you are, AND crap out a letter like this. > Upon the next contact, we were told that you have no interest in talking to either of us--indefinitely. Which you promptly ignored, like all the other boundaries. Though it did force you to acknowledge boundaries *exist,* just not that your daughter should HAVE them. > Yes, there have been many issues, and I know you're hurt is genuine. But as you've already established, her emotions aren't real and Nmom's needs are more important. Look, maybe you could try NOT sticking a 'but' at the end of that sentence for once? > I wish I could erase those events/words/pain, but only forgiveness erases mistakes of the past and as sorry as we may be, the forgiveness is not in our control. **OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!** 1. You are not asking for *forgiveness.* What you are asked by for isn't definition *absolution,* which is the abolishment of your crimes as if they never happened. *Which is not a thing.* 2. You are not *ASKING* for forgiveness, nor have you apologized or expressed regret for your mistreatment of her. In fact, you have suggested that said treatment is the normal state of affairs, and she is unreasonable for having emotions about it (And Mom's are bigger and better anyway) 3. You ARE expressing outrage that she has not ALREADY absolved you of the wrongdoings that you will not acknowledge are wrongdoings, and are standing by with your arms crossed tapping your foot saying 'We're waiting.' 4. You are using the fact that you cannot compel forgiveness as the reason why it's pointless for you to apologize. 5. (Redacted due to the words I have used to express my opinion of you would get me banned from the internet, and may or may not be of sufficient vileness to summon an Eldrich Abomination) > Left to continue, I suppose we would offend one another occasionally going forward, so every relationship must have some ability to forgive. It also must have the ability to acknowledge others feelings, find value in them, seek to atone for mistakes made, and seek to learn from mistakes to avoid or minimize repeating them. When you have demonstrated ANY of that, we can discuss removing your request for 'forgiveness' from the dank, dark orifice of yours where I am currently requesting you *CRAM IT.* > On the other hand, I remember a thousand great times. Name ONE. Aside from her birth. And she has to agree with you without reservation. > Many loving great times that I could fill a book with. And I wonder if you ever really think of any of these. It's irrelevant if she does because relationships are not transactional and good deeds do not cancel out bad deeds and vice versa and you aren't listening to me are you STOP TRYING TO BALANCE YOUR RELATIONSHIP CHECKBOOK! Your accounting is crooked ANYWAY. > 27-years from now, along with many amazing events and memories you both will have, you will undoubtably have regrets for things you have done, and maybe for things you did not do. Really? Name one thing you regret. Because right now, you don't even show regret for the stuff you *acknowledge is shitty.* In fact, you're telling her she should shut up and buckle in for MORE. > I am convinced that you both will be great parents, because you already love your baby--sight unseen--case closed. And you know this because you have perfect understanding of the emotions that are in their heads. Which you have already implied are not real. Or at least LESS real than Nmom's. > And Mom and I wish you and your child every blessing regardless of how our relationship evolves. Dead things do not evolve. Not even in Pokemon. > I will continue to pray for you both and your baby as I have since the day I learned of your being pregnant. I do that, I pray for things I care about, things that are important, the same way I prayed for your husband while your were still just a little girl. Errr... Sooooo... either implying her husband is a pedophile, or defining 'little girl' as being *23* I'm guessing. > If you decide to end this relationship that Mom and I started with you, that will be both of your decisions, and we will miss you both, and your baby. She already did. Relationship is dead. That's what NC *means.* You fucked up, second third and fiftieth chances are used up. There is no *if.* 'If' came and went, and delivered you a letter of No Contact as he passed by. It took things to get to this point to acknowledge that your daughter HAS been hurt, but you are STILL not at the point where you acknowledge she has the RIGHT to feel hurt. If your relationship was a person, they would be cold and dead and *rotting in your living room* before you would consider that perhaps you should get them an *aspirin.* > Know that you are also deciding for your baby who is yet to be born, if she will, or will not, have her life colored by the relationship of her Mom and I, her Grandparents either way. We're QUITE aware of that, and giving the level of support and validation you're showing here, it would be preferable if you moved to another country and changed your names, and had some professional scrubbers erase your identities so we can avoid any chance of their child *ever* learning you existed to ensure that kind of 'color' NEVER poisons her life. But we'll settle for you doing what you said you would at the start of this letter, and make it your last one. **CYNICAL RESPONSE MODE END**

  • Claire Osinski

    Jacob awoke, his vision blurry. All he remembered was the crash from behind him in the dark of his living room, then the impact, then the darkness deepening to an inky blackness. He could see the sun had started to rise in the distance. By his estimates, that would mean he had been unconscious for over two hours since being attacked in his house, since he'd come downstairs at just past 4:30 AM. As he went to move his arms and stand up, he discovered his arms were tied behind his back. From the feel of things, it was likely duct tape. A quick glance over his shoulder as he extended his arms confirmed it. Jacob quickly scanned the living room, but saw no-one. He quietly stood and, with a practiced movement, snapped his bound hands against his lower back, tearing the tape and freeing himself. Peeling the tape off, Jacob rubbed his sore wrists. He gingerly touched the back of his head, and was immediately greeted with a sharp, stabbing pain. Whoever had hit him had clocked him good. As he looked around the room, he saw that he'd been cleaned out. Whoever had broken in took everything of value that had not been nailed down. He felt a low growl of rage growing in his gut that would not be silenced. Jacob moved to the vent at the side of the room and pulled the cover off, retrieving his chrome .45 with two spare mags, and stormed out towards the front door. As he walked down the dirt driveway towards his neighbor's house, he tucked the pistol into his rear waistband and pocketed the magazines. Jacob had crossed the street and was about to hit the intercom button on the front gate of his neighbor's house when the speaker crackled to life. "That's far enough, Jacob. You won't get a second warning," came the grizzled old voice through the box. Jacob heard the familiar sound of a rifle bolt 'snicking' into place through the intercom. Probably a .308, if he remembered the retired Marine's preferences correctly. "Gunny," Jacob said calmly. "Sorry to bother you, but you wouldn't have seen who broke into my place last night, would ya?" A short barking laugh erupted from the intercom speaker. "Don't know, don't care. I don't want nothin' to do with ya, ya dirty traitor." "I'm not a traitor, Gunny," Jacob replied carefully, the rage building inside. "I'm a sovereign citizen. They're different." "Not to me, they're not," Gunny spat back. "I swore an oath to protect this country, and I love it, despite the shit it's put me through. You made your choice, and now you're not part of that anymore. You ain't got no code, no convictions... and I don't want no part of ya. Now git." "Look Gunny, I'm not asking for forgiveness or anything, I just wanted to know if you saw..." An explosion rocked the ground next to Jacob, as a rifle round disintegrated a small hole in the dry earth next to his feet. Jacob jumped, despite himself. "Next one won't be a warnin'. Cops won't do shit to me if I take yer head clean off, so you best believe me when I say the next one won't miss. Now GIT." Jacob glared towards the house, several hundred feet down the dirt path. He knew Gunny would cut him down before he was 10 feet inside the property line, so it wasn't worth it. He just wished he knew where the sensors were in his security net, because to this date he still hadn't been able to find them, even with binoculars from his house. Jacob slowly turned, and walked back across the rural road towards his property. ***** Whoever had attacked him had taken everything they could see. Luckily, Jacob had made sure they couldn't see everything. He descended into the basement and towards the false wall in the south corner. When the government had given people the right to secede, he'd set up a secret cache of supplies for a situation just like this. He'd wanted to be prepared in case something happened, and knew he had to be ready to defend himself before submitting the paperwork. As he pushed a small aluminum tent peg into the tiny hole in the concrete wall, he heard a 'click', and saw the wall shift ever so slightly. With a push, the false wall... steel beams with a false concrete front... slid back a couple of feet, allowing him to slide it over on rails to the right. Behind it was his stash. Weapons, bulletproof vests, MRE's, water purification tablets, the whole nine yards. He'd stockpiled enough to keep him alive for a good three... even four months, if he rationed. At the time he hadn't thought he would need to use it, but now that the supply of gold and diamonds he'd kept as barter was gone... it would keep him alive until he could get them back. Whoever took his stash would pay. He would see to it. ***** Jacob approached the first house, drawing his pistol from its holster. He was in a bit of a sticky situation. While he couldn't be arrested for committing crimes, the town Sherriff was under no obligation to help him. Worse, the Sherriff *was* obliged to protect the rest of the town citizens, who still enjoyed his protection. If anyone called it in and the Sherriff responded and caught Jacob during the home invasion he had planned, he wouldn't likely arrest Jacob; he'd kill him on sight. Jacob knew he had to be fast. Get in, get his stuff... or find out where it was... and get out before the law showed up. As he moved towards the house in the early morning sun, he stuck to the high grass to conceal himself. Carefully, he approached the house from a blind area, after checking to see if there were any video cameras that might spot him. As he moved around the corner, checking doors and windows to see if one had been left open, he had a chilling thought: If Gunny had seen him leave, he might call the Sherriff. He might have less time than he thought. As a knot tied itself in the pit of his stomach, Jacob forced himself to calm down. He took several deep, calming breaths, focussing on the task at hand. Jacob tried a garage door, and found it to be unlocked. Quietly, he pushed it open and stepped inside, pausing for a moment to allow his eyes to adjust to the darkness. Just as he was about to move, he heard the distinctive 'pop' he'd heard before; the sound of a Taser cartridge door being blown off. An instant later, he convulsed uncontrollably, going rigid before falling to the floor. As he fell, he realized he was about to hit that same sore spot he'd been hit on this morning. "Shit," he thought to himself, as his head hit the ground and the world faded into inky blackness once again.

  • Dee Robel

    > This would only be true, of course, is the good of this world doesn't out weigh the evil. I see no reason to assume otherwise, however, my argument does not require that. Causing harm for benefit is still immoral. >I wouldn't say that all creatures are of "moral value". I certainly don't think plant species or lower animal species have any moral value. I also don't think we would assign moral value to most animals in the sense that they exist as ends unto themselves, but only insofar as we have an obligation to not cause them needless suffering. Doesn't surprise me that you don't find suffering of other organisms relevant. I'll leave it to you to demonstrate what suffering of what organisms has "moral value". My point is simple - when you discount the suffering of all others, it becomes rather simple to justify evil. That doesn't mean it isn't a flimsy justification. >That being said, there certainly are some animals that have died or have gone extinct and I would simply place them under this same set of possible answers - our own moral failures, the necessary providential arrangement of things to maximize overall good, etc. The vast majority of animal species are extinct. The overwhelmingly vast majority of animals have died in pain, and the overwhelmingly vast majority of the minute number that haven't... will in the near future. >Do you think a world of deterministic zombies would be preferable? Where everyone has no control over their actions and thus there is no morality at all? Would that be morally superior to the one we have? A universe comprised of "deterministic zombie" rocks or computing machines would be less undesirable. It can only be preferable to those who do exist, specifically the tiny fraction of a fraction of a fraction that get the most benefit (typically either those in isolation or apex predators). >Sum total of Good which, under Christianity, includes the Good of eternal life with God. Define (the proper noun) "Good". As for the "eternal life with God", see above about those coming out on top. It's awful convenient that the benefit to god somehow makes god justified in making everyone and everything else suffer. [Insert Nazi analogy here.] >1. People have the capacity to **prevent** the effects of natural disasters. Irrelevant. Yes, mankind is capable of preventing what god wants. So what? >2. It seems to take massive tragedy to get us to take moral responsibility. Irrelevant. A "responsibility" towards morals only applies in an existence with evil. >3. It is possible that natural disasters serve some sort of providential role in determining the direction of the world toward maximum Good. As I have argued, the "greater good" argument doesn't work, especially since the ONLY "good" prior to creation is the good of one organism - god. It's begging the question, just as [insert slavery analogy here]. >You seem to just not think that it is appropriate that anyone should have any moral responsibilities or duties. Actually, no. In an existence with suffering, the only way to stop all suffering is to annihilate all life in the cosmos. That is not possible for me, but it would have been the default position of god prior to creation. God *chose to create* suffering, which is an entirely different proposition from *ending* suffering. To put it bluntly, human morality is largely irrelevant. > You would prefer to be a robot capable of only pleasure in a comfortable terrarium. ***I*** would prefer that ***I*** have all the benefits possible under any system. You worship a god based on the exact same rationality, which raises the question... Why don't you worship me?? However, I have never and will never be placed in a position of creating the concept of suffering. At worst, I can only add or detract to the net total suffering. I am fine accepting that responsibility every time I eat or turn on a computer; I accept I am not moral within an immoral existence. >However, if you think that moral goodness is more important than physical pleasure, then this makes sense. What other type of pleasure is there than "physical pleasure"?? >There **may** be all sorts of natural and personal evils that arise out of a world that produces the maximum amount of good. You are weighing a possibility of *greater* good against the unquestionably absolute certainty of a lack of suffering. (And, as a reminder, you are still doing that on the basis of a rather flimsy assumption that existence couldn't have *less* suffering.) >It simply means that this is what free creatures do relative to what they could or should do. "Free creatures" (supposedly) designed and created by a creator. If I created a computer virus that caused harm (while feeling miserable about itself), then I would be condemned for doing it. It wouldn't matter that I designed it to *autonomously* wreak havoc; if anything, that would make it worse. >Moreover, this further justifies a religion of redemption over one of works, What is it we need "redemption" from, and more importantly... what is it that will provide "redemption"?? The one that made evil to begin with?! > as bringing about the greatest good (eternal life with God) would require some sort of forgiveness. You haven't established "eternal life" is even a sensical concept, let alone one that results in benefit.

  • Pearline Nolan

    > because much of it goes to stupid shit poorly managed and inordinately expensive projects like the the F-35 or the Navy's new carrier, which are both 100s of billions of wasted spending. Ah, but a BIG part of the "waste" of programs like that is that we then SELL a significant amount of that kind of equipment to other "allied" countries, and we do so BELOW cost -- meaning we're effectively *subsidizing* the military equipment of those other countries (and oh, no doubt they "hoot and howl" about how how they are FORCED to *buy* from the US... nevermind that DEVELOPING the tech and then ALSO sourcing/creating their OWN equipment *entirely independently* would often be far more expensive). Oh, and of course we also often LOAN them the money to purchase said equipment... and then via either "foreign aid" and/or "debt forgiveness" end up PAYING off the loan FOR them. --- Now the thing is -- THIS is one of the things Trump (and before him people like Ron Paul) was TRYING to talk about -- **how (for example) all of the NATO countries really **don't** carry the burden of their own defense...** hell they don't (and for decades HAVEN'T) even been making the (relatively trivial) so called "contributions" to things like NATO that they have *agreed to make* as part of the entire "treaty." The end effect is that **much of the funding** for the "social programs" of European nations (including by the way nations that AREN'T officially even part of NATO, but are nonetheless protected under it's umbrella) -- all of the ballyhooed "nationalized 'free' healthcare programs" and etc -- are really only made POSSIBLE by the fact that those same nations do NOT have to fully fund their own military (and overall "defense"). This makes them essentially "free riders" (or less generously, "parasites"). **So yeah, we COULD pull back/cut back on a LOT of that spending.** We COULD eliminate the US bases in say Germany. We COULD go back to the pre-WWII foreign policy of just using the Atlantic & Pacific as our "moats" -- fuck Europe, let them fend for themselves against Russia etc -- screw Japan, South Korea, and the Philippines, (even Australia, etc), let them all "fend for themselves" vs China, North Korea and so on. Likewise with Israel, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, etc, let them deal with their OWN shit vs Iran. IOW go back to **America First** (the George Washington/Thomas Jefferson/James Madison recommended stance, which served us VERY well for 150 years!!) -- *but Oh how the liberals (and cuckservatives) would HOOT and HOLLER* -- that would be (Gasp!) ***isolationism!!!!!** -- and it would probably (almost certainly) mean an END to "globalization" and so called "free [sic] trade." Because if the US pulls ALL THE WAY BACK -- removes all those bases from Europe, Korea, etc -- **then who is going to keep the Strait of Malacca open?** (and free from pirates); and who is going to make sure that the oil can continue to flow through **Straits of Hormuz** (very little of which ever comes to the US by the way, most Middle East oil goes to Europe, not the US); or who will **prevent China from turning the "China Sea" into their own 'private lake' and only allow Chinese ships to transit?** Of course THAT -- the above -- would also mean the USA bringing BACK it's own industry -- pulling it's corporations (and technology, expertise, skills, capital) BACK OUT of all of those foreign countries -- **and ENDING 'foreign aid' as well** (sorry folks, no more "free food" and no more food delivered ONTO your doorstep under US protection... Oh you wanna BUY some of our excess wheat/corn, etc? Well tell you what... bring gold or something else of solid value to pay for it, and you can pick it up F.O.B. some USA port; *and then once you're out in "international waters" well, you're on your own getting it BACK to your home port*... good luck with that by the way.) -- Personally, I think the USA taking over the "global ocean policing" from the British Empire was a HUGE MISTAKE -- I also think that it's **unsustainable** and that *sooner or later* the USA will **have no choice** but to "pull back" -- ergo better to do it INTENTIONALLY, and with a purposeful DESIGN (and largely, albeit NOT necessarily *entirely,* for our OWN benefit), rather than have the whole works collapse in an UNPLANNED and CHAOTIC fashion (complete with "piracy" and competing empires, etc). --- EDIT: **Of course you know there IS a *third* option:** Instead of EITHER "Isolationism" OR being the "global policeman" -- the US **could start being much more like traditional/historical "empires" -- and instead of funding all of the "global policing" ourselves... **we could start extracting tribute** (and/or "protection" money) from various nations -- i.e. Oh, you say you want US fleet protection? You want your various trade ships (importing or exporting, we really don't care) to be able to transit some major global shipping routes & "pinch points" entirely UNmolested -- port to port -- by various "pirates" or other foreign military? Well, then, pony up with the cash... Oh, and by the way we intend this to be a PROFITABLE endeavor, so it's gonna cost YOU pretty dearly).

  • Alexandrine Kemmer

    Often, no amount of words is quite enough to describe what we feel when we are going through this experience. It's painful, confusing, mind-boggling, traumatic. A literal destruction of your soul. So first off let me say, you are valid. Yes, this really happened to you, and no, you did nothing to deserve it. It is wrong, it is evil and it is not you. There is nothing you could have done differently because you have been experiencing a pattern of attracting abusers in your life (not your fault). You've been conditioned by a childhood of neglect and a narcissistic parent. It's not you. So secondly, and more importantly, you need to FORGIVE YOURSELF. I know I'm making it sound easy and it really is not, but you must give yourself that forgiveness. We all make mistakes in order to learn so don't beat yourself up over them. Life doesn't come with a manual, and neither does parenting or choosing who to love. I think you are being much too hard on yourself...I mean, listen to your story! You had emotionally absent parents (privileged or not, this is a very big deal for a child), a narcissistic father, was raped (!) and then blamed for it (!!), developed PTSD, married a physically abusive narcissist, got devalued, became a mother while enduring abuse, found comfort in a covert narcissist, got devalued AND physically abused again, and are now enduring abuse from not one but TWO narcissists while raising 2 kids under 6? Girl, you deserve a medal! Or two!! So, let's try and figure this out. You've already started educating yourself about narcissists and sociopaths which is essential to your recovery (who knew there were so many truly evil, psychologically disordered people out there?), but there is so much going way back to your childhood that you will need to work though. I suggest you find a good psychotherapist who has experience dealing with NPD and victims of NPD abuse (otherwise, your therapist can't fully relate to the extent of your trauma). Also, although I'm not a proponent of prescribed medication, sometimes we need it to help us through (even I did for a while), so consider that option as well if it is prescribed (anxiety and depression are emotionally crippling, and you will need to get your emotions under control to fully take charge of your situation). Yes, the pain and level of misery are normal; narcissists are like worms that get under your skin and keep invisibly wreaking havoc long after they are gone). You will need to go NO CONTACT with B (never again, don't answer calls, emails, texts, lose mutual friends, throw out all photos, memories, etc.) and MINIMAL CONTACT with your ex-husband (like NO CONTACT but you talk to him like an emotionless robot and ONLY about the children...ignore all other comments, don't engage, don't tell him anything about your personal life and give him the most minimal details about the children). Also, block his texts so he can't harass you and keep a detailed journal with everything that happens between him, you and the children...in case you or they need evidence later on. Don't try and tell him or B what they are...don't discuss your abuse or anything else with them. Don't talk to anyone about your issues (except your therapist) unless you trust them with your life (hopefully, you have one friend or family like that..many of us don't). And just know this: you are going to make it through. But do not try to figure out what happened to you with your logical mind. You need to work on self-love and self-care, so look after yourself well, get lots of rest, eat as healthy as you can, exercise as much as possible if you can (helps with emotional pain alot and makes you look and feel amazing), do things that make you happy (paint nails, see a movie, etc.), recognize that you have ESCAPED ABUSE and are so much better off (the pain and hurt are vampire fangs that are still stuck in you, but they will melt eventually, promise!) and that there is no logic to these abusers. Do not look for closure from either man...you don't need them to measure your worth, so why bother? Do not wait for justice...the God of Karma will take care of that for you. Just work on yourself, love your beautiful babies fiercely, and consider today the first day of your new life. The one in which you are beautiful, worthy, NOT STUPID, not concerned with the opinions of others (everyone has their own crap, plus you don't need to explain yourself to anyone), living for yourself and your dreams and are on the verge of a breakthrough to the best part of your life (it is waiting for you, you must believe that). Take it one day at a time, as every small step is a victory. The shame and embarrassment will go once you stop caring what others think (this is super hard, but all you need to do is to love and value yourself first and eventually everyone else who is worthy of you will come to love and value you as well). Take lots of deep breaths and try to get out of your own head. And never forget: you are worthy and you are not alone. You will get pass this, stronger and wiser than before, once you go through it. Take your time, reframe your life (this starts in your head and heart) and WIN!

  • Ashton Kris

    > No, it doesn't. Strange that you don't know this. Might want to have a read. Lets check Barro-Martin then check that paper. Oh, how come the explanatory variables are almost identical? What? > Is it? Web of science is telling me that their paper has only been cited 73 times in the statistics literature in the last 30 years. But since neither of us are statisticians, I'm not sure why that's relevant anyway. But you never answered me: Why should the average economist know who he is? uhhhh..... I don't know what to say about that... I actually.. What??? That is quite possibly one of the stupidest things I've read..... Oh I mean in your words, what another le "gem" hehehe > Well the good news is that we're both economists, so there's nothing stopping us from doing it ourselves! Unemployment does not Granger cause growth. You're an idiot. Did you not read what I wrote before? It heavily depends on the data and very sensitive to lag because they can granger cause each other. Think about it simplistically for a second. Assume tax cuts for consumers, what happens? Demand side expansion that induces lower unemployment. What about if the government decides to increase demand via constructing buildings and other projects that employ people? Well, it looks like unemployment gets influenced first. You clearly haven't done many granger causality tests on that matter. Even if we ignore all of this, you have absolutely **no** right to ever call anyone an idiot in this topic **ever** after what you just wrote before. Like holy shit that was fucking autism levels of retarded.. hehehe check out this picture that shows an inverse relationship heehehehe I can tell what granger causes the other without any lags being involved or any testing despite complaining non stop about not including any testing hehehehehe > Not even close to the mistake I made in that passage. Read the wikipedia page once more and try again. What does that even mean? > No, you're going out of your way to avoid talking about EMH, because you have no idea what it actually is. You can't interpret that equation, so you deflect. Do you remember why you cited the Fama paper? Look back and tell me how exactly that formula is relevant whatsoever. If it's the equation I am thinking it is, which it should be (expected value of an asset in the following period (you used current period based off previous period it seems) = 0 given all information is observed and input into the price) Tell me again how that counters my initial argument again? I only see glowing support for my initial argument. You keep thinking I don't know what EMH is, the more you talk about, the more *you* are showing you don't know anything about it. > If the change in the current account is identical to the drop in consumption, then yes, the capital stock will remain unchanged. This is an accounting identity. ahhhhh god... Read below... > You literally don't know what "empirical" means. Astounding. Did you take an econometrics qualifying exam? I just linked a dictionary definition... lol > That's because you're an idiot. A charity outflow is economically equivalent to every other current account outflow, like aid or remittances (another accounting identity!). It's a rose by another name. I'm guessing your field work wasn't in international finance. hmmmmm... unilateral transfers.... claim on assets.... debt forgiveness.... reserves.... hmmmm.... sorry was just thinking out loud haha. > This is wonderful. S=I doesn't real + gibberish. Delightful. Errr... How... I never said or implied..... what? > You should definitely pick up Acemoglu's book off your bookshelf then. You do have that book, right? I don't, but this should be very interesting. > That's because you're an idiot. A charity outflow is economically equivalent to every other current account outflow, like aid or remittances (another accounting identity!). It's a rose by another name. I'm guessing your field work wasn't in international finance. Did you forget about the rationality definition? Surely you've picked up one of your micro texts by this point... uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......... at this point, it's clear your understanding of international finance is at an introductory level, for more than 1 reason in just this paragraph. btw why do you keep bringing up rationality? it was already explained... your counter argument was "BUT WHY NOT THE OTHER ONE????" because it doesn't fit the theory... maybe??? I don't know... you are debating basic principles of finance here....

  • Lorine Lebsack

    > so then how are you arriving at the idea that the victim can forgive the criminal and therefore deny everyone from using force? Forgiveness is different from authorizing the use of property, and doesn't play a role in any of the examples I've given. Forgiveness may be have nothing to do with any violation of property rights; Someone saying insulting and hateful things to another is something one might forgive, but there's no violation of rights. Forgiveness has to do with subjective harm and damage, those things I described as being sloppy before. We don't need to consider forgiveness at all in this discussion. > It seems there is not much incentive for a 3rd party to rush into defend someone else, without at least consulting with the victim beforehand. That's fine. My concern here is the philosophical justification of force. In fact it seems like it's a good thing that as the degree of uncertainty increases, the disincentive to act also increases. That disincentivizes action to the degree of the recklessness of the action. > I mean you say that everyone is allowed to use force, but then you say that the victim gets to decide to forgive the victim or not. This seems very confusing for 3rd parties and they don't have the same blank check to use force that the victim does. Acting under uncertainty is often a real challenge. On the other hand we do it all the time. (I'm reading this sentence as "I mean, you say that everyone is allowed to use force when force is justified, but then you say that the property owner may be authorizing the use of their property so that no force is justified, unbeknownst to third parties. This seems very confusing for third parties and they don't have the same blank check to use force that the property owner does.) > Do you agree that the victim has more latitude in their use of force than a 3rd party? There's one source of uncertainty for third parties that isn't a source of uncertainty for the owner in question, i.e. the owners will. That doesn't mean the owner is necessarily subject to less total uncertainty. > People claim that drugs hurt peoples bodies, so there is damage occurring to property. Suicide would be another example. If like you said, force is justified, then it shouldn't matter that the victim is the one damaging themselves. Harm or damage is irrelevant. My neighbor pulling out his rose garden harms me because I don't get to see the flowers anymore, and my property value goes down. Damage and harm have nothing to do with whether any use of force is justified. If you'll examine the propositional arguments I wrote earlier, you'll see that harm and damage did not play any role in them. The significant criteria is whether uses of owned things are congruent with the will of the owners. > > The property owners authorized the uses of the property, whether the property is drugs and one's own body > See this is demonstrating that the victim has greater rights in using force than the 3rd party. No, it's an application of the principle that it's the owner who can legitimately authorize use of their property. I don't see the logical justification for jumping directly from the owner's special role in authorizing use of their property to the owner having a special role in using force to prevent unauthorized uses. > The victim is the gateway to justice. A 3rd party can NOT act until the victim informs the 3rd party whether they allowed the action or not. Why does it depend on the property owner to inform the third party? If the third party correctly figures it out, or guesses correctly, why isn't that just as good? In fact, why does the third party have to know at all? If the third party attacks someone and by accident that someone happens to be engaged in a crime, such that that person has lost their rights in their body that would otherwise cause the third party's attack to be a violation of property rights, then there is no violation of property rights. The third party attacked someone and by pure chance it turns out the attack doesn't violate property rights, so the third party isn't a criminal and their actions are not unjust. The key question is whether an act violates property rights. Who knows what or who informs whom of what are merely prudential concerns. > A 3rd party can't just start acting if they witness a crime being committed, because the victim might want to forgive the criminal (as happened in the story we're discussing). I don't recall anything about forgiveness in the article. Regardless, I did see a description of the property owner authorizing the action, and that authorization is the thing that matters.

  • Conner Jacobs

    It wasn't anything too far in the spectrum like alien worship, or living out in the crop circles summoning demons. Nothing like that. It's very similar to Christianity, at least at face value. The most basic principles were all contrived from the bible, but of course skewed in a way to suit their needs to enforce their rules and ideas. Core tenets: *Jesus is the son of God *Jesus died as a ransom to pay the price of the original sin (Adam and eve) *We (the ones in the cult) are Specifically Gods chosen people. *There are only 144 thousand that will go to heaven and serve alongside Jesus as kings. The rest of us will live on a paradise earth after Armageddon which will wipe out all evil from the world *In 1914 Satan was cast out of heaven down to earth, and he now controls every aspect of the planet. *"The End" is coming very soon. The last two points are very important in the belief system. First, we are conditioned to fear everything outside the Cult - Because it is infested with liars, thieves, murderers and rapists.. Savages basically. Everybody who is not one of Gods chosen people is under Satan's influence and is wicked. And Secondly, our time here on earth is very limited, the end is JUST around the corner. There was always this intense feeling of urgency that drove everybody bonkers. (There were several accounts that we were directly told that the end was coming later this Decade, Year or even month, etc) This means that We had to spend every minute of the day serving god in a variety of ways. 1) Studying their own publicized literature daily, attend a plethora of weekly meetings, *(Daily Brainwashing)* as well as major gatherings across Country every few months that would serve as a giant realignment and the organizations main source of income 2) trying to 'save' *(convert)* more followers, 3) Constantly pray for Forgiveness for everyday human things *(Feeding our guilt)* 4) all the while being constantly told that you are not doing enough. If you spend any time at all on yourself *(entertainment, education, Career)* you were deemed selfish and would be considered spiritually weak, and would need realignment from the elders, or face punishment. They control their followers dress, grooming, speech and association. We were not really allowed to associate with anybody outside the cult, because they were wicked and controlled by Satan. Normally families will home-school their children but luckily that was not an option for us, so me and my brothers still got to go to school. The elders of the cult really frown upon education though, as education is of course controlled by Satan, and his most effective trap. Sex is of course off the table, as well as dating unless you are dating for marriage. You aren't allowed to associate with anybody of the opposite sex unless you have a chaperone at all times. Often times you wouldn't even kiss your partner until you were engaged and you wouldn't even have an opportunity to spend time alone with them until you were married. (I still have absolutely no idea how to interact with somebody 1 on 1) Failure to follow any of their rules will get you shunned by the entire congregation. Your friends and family will not be allowed to even speak to you, or else they too will suffer the same punishment. It served as a quarantine, to ensure that you do not poison the minds of the congregation so it can stay 'pure'. mainly, though, it was just an agonizing punishment because people like me who have been indoctrinated from birth would have nobody outside the cult to go to for support. The only way to get back inside the community (at which point we are now totally dependent on) is to repent for your sins and beg forgiveness from the elders, and you have to keep a regular schedule of attending the meetings for at least a year or so to prove that you are repentant, all the while people in the congregation have to ignore your existence completely. Pretty fucking messed up. It is absolute torture as they build up a support system in which you are entirely dependent on it and then take it away from you and hang it out of your reach as you live in solitude for months. Its Fuckin.. fucked. As I said I was indoctrinated since birth, but thankfully.. *THANKFULLY* i have outside family who has nothing to do with the cult that made it easier for me to walk out. Most of the time though, the whole family is converted. And at that point you are pretty much stuck inside for life, as leaving the cult would mean never seeing your parents, brothers, children, husband or wife, and friends ever again. and that is something that not many people are capable of walking away from. WHOOPS! I wrote waaay too much! I am sorry about that - I don't get a lot of opportunities to talk about it I guess. I appreciate your interest, it helped a bit to talk about it. I hope you understood some of it.

  • Jordan Muller

    > Your first point, are you suggesting a religion is inherit in maintaining a culture? Do you not feel the decline of this is more due to modern technology which is it's own evil, rather than foreign impact? Absolutely. If nations are to progress, the people need to believe in something. Capitalism is one religion many choose to follow, however it never leads to happiness. Faith in the afterlife is and always will be a dominant trait for humans, it is my guess that when confronted with their own morality, many atheists will drop to their knees for forgiveness. Religion (specifically Christianity) is paramount to maintaining social equilibrium and peace. And yes, you can make the argument that Medieval Christianity was brutal, which it was, but in the modern age nearly no one actually practices the Old Testament. And to be fair all religion back half a millennia was pretty brutal. Christianity is pillar we can rebuild the Western world upon. > Do you not feel the decline of this is more due to modern technology which is it's own evil, rather than foreign impact? Time changes almost everything. Even the most murderous Dictator will fall eventually, as will Democracy, as will Fascism (or at the very least a variant), we could see the reemergence of Monarchy, these things are unpredictable but will happen. Religion is the one thing that continues to survive. Despite the Soviet's attempts over nearly 80 years to destroy Orthodox Christianity, 41% of Russians still practice. 25% still remain spiritual. Religion is the one thing that makes us human, our ability to believe there is something beyond our own skin and bones is our defining feature. Technology will change religion no doubt, but it cannot change basic innate human nature, religion lies dormant in all of us. Foreign impact can make our belief stronger or weaker in different cases. If the foreign impact is through conflict, it gives us a stronger sense of group identity. This can be seen with the persecution of Jews throughout their entire existence in Europe and in parts of the Middle East. They are an extremely nationalistic of their own religion and race. If the Foreign Impact is passive, say the American cultural impact on South Korea, we can see the separation of groups based in religion and non-religion. > I am unsure what culture you feel is replacing it? Culture is all around us, but different nations have different cultures. I claim that Western culture is based in Christianity, and in Europe it still mainly is, though it is changing. I should specify that I don't mean universal cultural replacement, only a morphing of cultures, which I see as a negative thing. You cannot have two sets of values contradicting each other and expect there to be peace. For example, in the West, bestiality is considered a grave unlawful action, however in the Middle East it is completely acceptable. We see now a major rift being created in Europe, as it struggles to retain its own identity while accepting conflicting values. While the bestiality comparison is rather extreme, another would be the treatment of women. Women are equal in European society, but in the Middle East they are seen as tools and possessions. > Furthermore I would make the point that it is often very hard to judge the culture of the time, I'm certain the peasants in the shit covered streets of old didn't feel very cultural, I'm sure Indians don't feel very cultural with all the shit in their streets now, but shit in the streets is not a cultural value, but a cultural constraint of their social and economic situation. It has a massive population, not too much space and not enough money to give everyone of its citizens plumbing. Time changes all, and by 2070 India will be a superpower with plumbing for all its citizens. Cultural value are things accepted universally by a nation's citizens. A cultural value in India is the refusal to eat beef. A cultural value in the West is holding the door for people. A cultural value in East Asia is respect for parents. A cultural value is vastly different from a cultural constraint. > Yet it is easy now to recognise the art and literature from that era is very powerful, likewise in a number of years from now the amazing breadth of literature and art available now could be seen as a wonderful thing, simply because there is a lot of it and you see it every day does not make it bad. Those were cultural values, yes, but the value of physical art has been dying since then, and the innovation found in modern literature is rather dull. I have a hard time picking up your argument here.

  • Heidi Bechtelar

    I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with this. On the one hand the other posters are partially right in that it is not your place to control whether your husband chooses to do this or not, but on the other hand I really feel for you because I am against porn too and I don't believe in this modern view that "all men do it so women must get used to it and accept it." This is why I suggest for women to date and marry nationalist men, and why I am so happy to be with a nationalist man, because nationalist men are generally opposed to pornography as well. I do believe that since you knew of it when you married, you agreed to accept that part of him and that you have no place to tell him not to do it now. I can still understand it hurting you. My belief is that the best thing to do is to let this matter go, not focus on his less-than-ideal habits, but to work on yourself and focus on yourself. Honestly revisit any less-than-ideal habits that you yourself have, and any bad character traits, and work on those. If you ever feel apt to get upset about what he's doing, flip it around to think about yourself and work on changing your own flaws. Work on being kind to your man, even if he hurts you. I have been with my husband for 10 years, he has done things to hurt my feelings, I have done things to hurt him. You get past it and learn to love him anyways, forgive him for things that hurt you and give him the benefit of the doubt if he does hurt you. If you work on being an awesome wife to him, and let this matter go for a while, maybe you can revisit it with him in a year or so. No bad behavior from you in the meantime! Be kind to him, love him, and fix your own flaws. If it still bothers you by then, and you haven't gotten over it, address it respectfully without judging him, accusing him, getting angry at him, trying to guilt trip him, etc. Don't ask him to stop. Just tell him why it hurts you, the reasons why you are against it, and how it makes you feel. If you are genuine, and kind, and have worked on being a wonderful woman, his love for you may inspire him to stop. Most men want to make the women they love happy and he may stop if he feels compelled to end your hurt (the better you that you will become in time if you work on your bad points). Or he may not, and you may have to accept it forever since you accepted this when you married him. But I think you will certainly not win him over to your viewpoint if you address it with anger or control. He may confess that he genuinely does want to stop but finds it difficult to, as it's an addictive habit, and if that is the case then your grace and forgiveness will help him get over it far more than control or anger would. Personally I'm against it not for religious reasons or from insecurity, but because I've read so much literature on how addictive it is for men and how it messes with their brain chemistry. It's literally like heroin for them, that's how addictive it is, and I don't believe it's possible to tell if a porn-using man is addicted to it or not since porn addiction is considered normal in our culture. I'd rather play it safe and marry a man who isn't into it at all rather than risk marrying a man who is or will become addicted to it. I highly value discipline and self-mastery, to the point where any man who doesn't share these traits with me would certainly be miserable with me, and I can't respect a man who has any sort of addiction and lacks mastery over himself. Half of all ten year olds are regularly watching hardcore porn and I didn't want my sons to grow up to be slaves to it. I was also concerned that pornography encourages fetishes and I wanted to be with a man with a "vanilla" sexuality. He felt similar to me and we were on the same page before we got married. So important to discuss these things before marriage to make sure you have similar views on sex. Please don't snoop or you'll just torture yourself. I am pregnant too (with baby #4 this time) and I have lots of experience with hormonal mood swings. Are you taking care of yourself? You can make it much easier on yourself if it is possible to get lots of rest and eat a good diet. Protein, iron, magnesium, B12 will help you keep your mind much more clear. Avoid sugar like the plague because it will give you crashes and make you upset for sure. I'm so sorry that you feel disgusting and insecure and I wish you didn't. You are the mother of his child and you are carrying his baby. I am sure that you mean leagues more to him than some trashy slut on a computer screen. We shouldn't mind ruining our flat tummies to bring home our husband's babies. One day our bodies are going to end up all old and wrinkly anyways.

  • Monserrate Johnston

    So that essentially makes it a ~5.2% mortgage that automatically refinances down to ~4.2% about $18K from now. That puts it into the arena of a moderate interest debt now, that transitions to the cusp of a low interest debt later. As a moderate interest debt, it would made theoretical (more on that below) sense to pay that portion of it down quicker, but it not as critical to sacrifice an emergency fund, or any other investments that would come before the emergency fund (more on that below). Regarding your emergency fund, 6 months' worth of your expenses should be a reasonably healthy amount to keep cold, and considering your $2,400 monthly expenses, that means you should be able to sleep at night with $14,400 in the bank doing "nothing" (more on that below). This assumes, of course, that your $2,400 per month estimation is accurate, in so far as you have budgeted in "unexpected" expenses that will/has come from being a landlord. If not, then you might consider adding a little more on top of that $14,400. Your "$7K home emergency fund" might overly robust for many, especially considering such a robust emergency fund of $14,400 in existence, but it's a personal decision about whatever helps you sleep at night. Whatever you decide on, anything else above that should probably be put to work. Which brings us to your original question: do you put it to work on knocking down your moderate interest PMI debt? My answer would be yes, but only if you've got everything else that should take priority before that covered. Which is to say you first should make sure that you are paying all your bills (sounds like your are), that you (and your spouse) are paying enough into all retirement accounts to get the full employer match (you haven't said but I would hope so), and that you have no debt with rates higher than 5.2%. Regarding the last, it seems that your spouse does and/or will have some debt at those higher interest rates. Depending on when those rates start kicking in, it might make more financial sense to put that extra money into getting those numbers down instead of the 5.2% numbers down. Perhaps turn down the loans that she'll be paying 8% at and pay for those fees in cash. On top of the unspoken idea of not having to pay that 8% debt for a while, you also have the weirdness of "loan forgiveness" that may or may not result in you not ever having to pay that at all?! Sounds too good to be true to my ears, but balance that decision of attacking that 8% debt off with that in mind. Regarding the choice to attack the 5.2% PMI debt being "theoretically" sound: Most banks are "out to getcha" on this so read the fine print and talk to your loan agent about this idea first. Most of the time it's about being insured until you own a certain percentage (usually 20%) of the equity, and the banks are very specific about doing the calculations and setting in the legal gotchas to maximize their eventual take. Should you pay out too early, you might get hit with fines and/or fees in their attempt to compensate. Worse, they'll often demand a reassessment of the property (that you'll pay for) at the end of which you'll find that the value has increased, meaning that you no longer have paid off the correct percentage of equity, meaning that you're back on the PMI hook for a while. Your mileage may vary, and not all banks nor even all mortgages from the same banks are like that, and some states offer more protections against "scams" like this than others, but before you do pull that specific trigger, make sure you know precisely what you're in for and that you have calculated any additional expenses into your cost benefit analysis. In case you're still up in the air regarding the "order or immediacy" of your financial concerns, or want to consider where to go afterwards, check out this solid and simple flowchart from this sub's FAQ: https://i.imgur.com/CcEVQAV.png Finally, with regards to: >in bank in a shit interest account Yeah, it's all going to be pretty bad. Seriously consider moving it to one of those "online high interest savings accounts". It's still pretty shitty (shopping around should get you around 1% currently) but it'll most likely be better than your local bank's 0.01%, and once you successfully tie it to your checking account, you can get at it almost as quickly.

  • Evie Bartell

    Despite efforts to curb bad loans, the result has been disappointing as Indias stressed assets are highest among big emerging markets. --- > * When the chief of the nations biggest bank says anything that will help to put these stressed accounts into becoming standard would be welcome, it reflects the exasperation of bankers in solving the festering bad loans problem.That State Bank of India chairman Arundhati Bhattacharya is open to any new solution, including that of the bad bank, to sort out the bad loans problem, shows that years of revival efforts have ended up being a band-aid solution only when what was needed to end the acute pain was a surgery.Numerous loan restructuring programmes - alphabetical soups like CDR, S4A, SDR, 5/25 - for struggling companies to get back to life, and enactments like the Securitisation and Reconstruction of Financial Assets and Enforcement of Security Interest Act (Sarfaesi), the formation of asset reconstruction companies (ARCs) have all failed.There was no dearth of efforts in the past three years from the regulator as well as banks to rein in the burgeoning bad loan problem. > * After eight years of living with stressed assets and toying with every possible solution, banks themselves may not be able to deal with the problem anymore.A new idea needs to be tested out as chief economic advisor Arvind Subramanian suggests by borrowing from Sherlock Holmes: Once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how difficult, must be the solution.The bad bank is a good idea if we have the ability to answer which is a transparent fair mechanism of determining clearing price, says Uday Kotak , executive vice-chairman of Kotak Mahindra Bank Otherwise, at what clearing price would a bad bank buy assets from banks? The idea of the bad bank, or Public Sector Asset Reconstruction Agency (PARA), is old wine in a new bottle, which was presented by CEA Subramanian in his latest Economic Survey Such institutions have been created in Southeast Asia and even in the US. > * Even in respect of a bad bank, what you do need is capital and without capital it may not work, says Bhattacharya of State Bank of India.To that extent, this is a decision that the government needs to take. While the government is silent on the proposal without committing either way, Subramanian has suggested many ways of capitalising it, including using the reserves available with the RBI without any monetary impact.There may be private money to fund the bad bank too, if there is comfort that it would get the power to get all the disparate banks to come together and begin the recovery process without pulling in different directions.While private lenders are able to do a better job by taking a writedown on asset value, state-run lenders are hobbled by the fear of investigative agencies coming after them for decisions that go wrong for factors beyond their control.In todays climate, no banker would want to take any responsibility for debt forgiveness and, therefore, I propose setting up of an oversight committee where loans above a certain amount can be taken up for haircut, says TT Ram Mohan, professor of finance at Indian Institute of Management, Ahmedabad.Many of these assets have economic value and they have potential for cash flows and they would be viable if there is a write off. > * It may be time to try the last weapon available - PARA, the bad bank, provided there is a formula to price bad loans in a fair manner.Hard choices are easy to make when you really dont have a choice, said Neel Kashkari, the Indian-American who ran TARP for the US Treasury. --- Here are some other news items:^credits ^to ^u-sr33 > * [What the Economic Survey Says on Demonetisation, UBI and India’s NPA Crisis](https://thewire.in/104550/economic-survey-says-demonetisation-ubi-indias-npa-crisis/) --- ^I'm ^a ^bot ^| ^OP ^can ^reply ^with ^"delete" ^to ^remove ^| [^Message ^Creator](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sallurocks) ^| [^Source](https://github.com/hunkdivine/samacharbot2) ^| ^Did ^I ^just ^break? ^See ^how ^you ^can ^help! ^Visit ^the ^source ^and ^check ^out ^the ^Readme

  • Gussie Pouros

    The fact that is is literally an unprecedented situation is a key factor, and it's importance cannot be overstated. I honestly do not think enough credence was given to the truly exceptional nature of the problem. Politics was allowed to take up a position of importance it should not have had. It should never have arisen that politics or political disagreement could result in the loss of an EU member state or a destabilisation of the € and the EU. And politics was the lens through which the entire affair was viewed. It was a grand political drama that nobody could or really wanted to turn away from. Especially the media. I'm making that point because I believe that politics are colouring the situation, depending upon whom you side with. Specifically I honestly object to the idea that Syriza, Tsipras, Varoufakis, or the Greek government itself were unreasonable, irresponsible, ingrates making demands on a reasonable and fair set of creditors. There is and still seems to be a demand that Greece and Greek government leaders be perfect in order to justify assistance. Or that whatever claims are made about how affairs are conducted in Greece aren't also applicable to other European states. I do not think that there are any European countries with hands as clean as the Greeks' hands are supposed to be. This is the standard against which progress in Greece is judged, and I think it's unfair. More importantly, the EU and particularly Germany seemed to have a selective memory about the history with Greece. The position of 'good deal or no deal' for Syriza was not inherently a bad position to take. The deal in 2010 *was* a bad deal, and it did result in tremendous economic damage to the country. And it appeared to be the case that the Greeks suffered in that way to protect the Eurozone from contagion. I do not think much if any real thought was given to the impact on Greece. That the IMF was saying that the 2010 plan had been a mistake while it was also negotiating a new plan with Greece is not insignificant; nor is the fact that they continue to say that no plan will work for Greece without serious debt forgiveness. For a reasonable person, if 2 of 3 parties are saying that mistakes were made in the past and thus that a similar plan would likely continue them, it should have brought everyone to the table in problem-solving mode to discuss economics in relation to a solution. I did not hear, and still haven't heard, either the IMF or the EU take any responsibility for the impact of the 2010 plan on Greece. I brought that up because if you were Greece, or Syriza, you would have wanted to fight for a solution that wouldn't carry on or worsen the situation in Greece. You would have expected that other parties take responsibility in the same way they were asking you to do, and you would have expected that the political situation in the EU or in member state politics would take a backseat to preventing the collapse of a memberstate and the suffering of Europeans. But none of that happened, and despite being told and knowing that the plan wouldn't work, suffering as a moral requirement was enforced anyway as a way to appeal to national politics and avoid empowering one's political Opposition back home. Grexit should never have been a possibility anyone ever considered. There is no mechanism for force out an EU member--and it would have been well for the EU to reflect on the value of the EU promise before allowing politics to undermine it. Neither should there ever have been a possibility for negotiations to sink the Greek banking system. The ECB could have played the part of being truly independent and stabilising the Greek banking system--through the CBG--under its mandate, and its BoG understanding that they were literally in an unprecedented situation which would require extreme measures. It would need to be proactive rather than reactive, because there should have been a notion that the Greek banking system had some inherent value and deserved insulation from political crises caused and resolved by politicians. To me the entire affair is an example of the worst Europeans can be and how little the EU project actually matters.

  • Ahmed Wunsch

    Thanks for the response, I really do appreciate the discussion > Ergo, God is evil. Okay.... LOL. This would only be true, of course, is the good of this world doesn't out weigh the evil. > But what of the 99% of all species just on earth that have gone extinct, or the 99.999....% of all "creatures of moral value" that have died? I wouldn't say that all creatures are of "moral value". I certainly don't think plant species or lower animal species have any moral value. I also don't think we would assign moral value to most animals in the sense that they exist as ends unto themselves, but only insofar as we have an obligation to not cause them needless suffering. That being said, there certainly are some animals that have died or have gone extinct and I would simply place them under this same set of possible answers - our own moral failures, the necessary providential arrangement of things to maximize overall good, etc. > First, define "ultimate good". Sum total of Good which, under Christianity, includes the Good of eternal life with God. > Creating evil is evil, regardless of whether it also results in good. Causing suffering to one person to cause pleasure in another is still evil. Having an orgasm isn't a defense for raping someone. Certainly in the extreme, but is it evil to surgically remove an infected appendix? Surely that is painful but causes a much greater deal of future pleasure for the individual. God can't force a person to freely choose something. That would be logically incoherent. So, by definition, allowing the potential for good (allowing people to make the free choice to be good) requires allowing the potential for bad. Do you think a world of deterministic zombies would be preferable? Where everyone has no control over their actions and thus there is no morality at all? Would that be morally superior to the one we have? > Please provide an example of a person who has caused a natural disaster. Only then would "free will" be relevant, unless we're addressing the free will of god to limit free will of others. This is a common misconception and really just a failure of imagination. I can think of 3 pretty obvious responses to this claim... 1. People have the capacity to prevent the effects of natural disasters. In the United States, when we have hurricanes we throw hurricane parties. In the 3rd world, thousands of people die. The Indian Ocean Early Tsunami Warning system cost less money to create than Pokemon Go made in its first week. We could have saved hundreds of thousands of lives for that price. We just allocate our resources towards marginal personal pleasures over obviously morally superior tools. 2. It seems to take massive tragedy to get us to take moral responsibility. The plight of 3rd world countries and their vulnerabilities to natural disasters is not exactly unknown, but we choose to ignore it until it actually happens. 3. It is possible that natural disasters serve some sort of providential role in determining the direction of the world toward maximum Good. > This is absurd. Noone ever claims that we should worship ourselves because "People are Good". If god created polio and malaria because it needed money to buy an iPhone, then god is evil. You seem to just not think that it is appropriate that anyone should have any moral responsibilities or duties. You would prefer to be a robot capable of only pleasure in a comfortable terrarium. However, if you think that moral goodness is more important than physical pleasure, then this makes sense. But once we allow for people to be morally responsible (ie: having free will and moral responsibilities), all bets are off. There may be all sorts of natural and personal evils that arise out of a world that produces the maximum amount of good. > Ergo, any creator god would be evil for having created us. So what? Once again, this just doesn't follow. It simply means that this is what free creatures do relative to what they could or should do. As long as the total amount of good is greater than evil, then God remains good. Moreover, this further justifies a religion of redemption over one of works, as bringing about the greatest good (eternal life with God) would require some sort of forgiveness.

  • Sophia McClure

    > And I am not doubting that you and your partner have eros for each other but am saying that eros is not by nature virtuous. I find eros compositional. It's the accumulations of a bunch of "lesser" loves. It's protective and vunerability. It's intimate and platonic. It's physical and emotional. > I certainly wouldn't discount anyone's subjective experience. I appreciate the sentiment but I feel like you kind of do discount other people's experiences when you advocate that your spiritual beliefs should apply to others. > There are many relationships which have deeply meaningful romantic relationships which are still overall very unhealthy relationships. When you look at biology of it. It makes sense. What pair-bonds us is brain chemistry. It drives us together to try make babies and normally it will make us more accommodating. It also enforces companionship. > To borrow from C.S. Lewis, the Christian standard "is so difficult and contrary to our instincts that either Christianity is wrong or else our sexual instinct has gone wrong." "If there's nothing wrong with me, then there's something wrong with the universe" - Beverly Crusher, TNG. Now, I say that with a bit of tongue-in-cheek... but if scripture contradicts our understanding of how things work, then isn't reasonable to assume that our understanding of scripture is flawed? We are flawed creatures with an incomplete view of the world. We muddle through as best we can... but applying a 2000 year old treatise on moral behaviour becomes increasingly difficult as our cultures diverge. Paul was looking at Roman behaviour and think "shit, that's not how we should live". It doesn't make it universally attributable. It means that we can look at the narrative and see where it applies to us. As humanity matures, we have to consider it with broader implications. We are told "hitting is bad" when we're young. We eventually learn that sometimes reluctantly fighting is necessary to protect ourselves and the people we love. We are 2000 years more mature. How has "Gay sex is bad" evolved in our growth? > the view that we should not reject immoral things because to do so causes anxiety and depression in the immoral person is not a good one. We have few measures by which we can define standards for things. We have our understanding of the natural world and we have our capacity to reason. Christians include the teachings of the bible in that as well. However, in the bible where things resonate is where it's apparent and obvious how it's connected to the real world. Jonathan Haidt, a social psychologist who studies human morality loves going through ancient morality and highlighting the things we get intrinsically right. And yes, there's objective measure of morality in our natures. It's about happiness. It's about fulfillment. It's our relationship with others and how it makes us happy and others happy. It's about engendering growth and progress. All the things that are apparently and obvious in the value of humanity. The pursuit of wisdom and knowledge. When God talks about Love and loving our neighbours. It's so easy to see how that's connected to ensuring fulfillment and contentment. About supporting each other. About how cooperative behaviour is essential. About judicious application of competative behaviour can also engender growth. As an example, I love the core of the value of forgiveness. I think I recognize it in ways that I don't think even our modern society does. I think Justice is thinly veiled revenge and that criminals should be viewed with compassion because they don't function within societal norms and we need to figure out how to get them to function within societal norms or find ways to ensure that they can't damage society further. It sucks when people don't get to participate. I want everyone to be able to participate in society.

  • Arely Romaguera

    I've had a state job for almost 5 years now. >Can I negotiate to get a better initial pay base? How does the pay determination even work? They'll tell you that you can't negotiate, but you totally can. Each job title has a few levels (the number I, II, III, etc after the title), and each level has several "steps". You go up by one step per year. Theoretically which step you start on is based on your education/years of experience, but HR absolutely can start you on any step (within the level of the position you applied for). You'll have a much stronger case by claiming you don't want to take a pay cut. >Is it really only 37.5 hrs/week!? Do people put in more time or is that looked down on? Yep. 8 hour days with a "mandatory" lunch break. Putting in extra time will be entirely dependent on the culture of your department, and what project you're currently working on. I don't think it's looked down upon to put in extra time, but it honestly doesn't do you much good. Usually, whatever it is can wait a day, and there's no performance incentives. I've certainly put in 12-13 hour days before, if something needs to get done, but usually I arrive right around 9 and leave right around 5. >What is the culture like? Entirely dependent on what office you're in. But in A&F it will likely be pretty professional with a not-so-subtle political undertone. You should feel free to speak your mind about work issues, and asking for help navigating ridiculous amounts of red tape is not some signal that you're incompetent. You'll find that you really have to rely on other people, which can be both good and very bad. >How much vacation do you get? 11 state holidays per year. New Years, MLK Day, Presidents' Day, Patriots Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Columbus Day, Veterans' Day, Thanksgiving Day, and Christmas Day. Note that state offices are only closed on the day itself, you'd have to take time off for Black Friday, for instance. Not sure if this is adjusted for managers, but regular employees only start with 10 vacation days, 3 personal days, and 15 sick days. The vacation gets bumped up by a week every 5 years of service to a max of 5. >How do pensions/retirement work? You pay into the pension fund in lieu of paying social security tax. If you leave state service without retiring, you can take that money with you. If you leave then come back, you can pay that money back to "buy your years back". You become vested after 10 years, but you'll get a pittance of a payout, like 5%. Full payout is 80% of the average of your max 3 salaries until you die, but you won't get that unless you have over 25 years of state service and don't retire until at least 65. Or you can take a smaller payout until you die (like 75%) and a beneficiary will get a lump sum of that 5% you didn't take. Or you can take a still smaller payout until you die, and a beneficiary will get your payout until they die. >Are the benefits of working a "cushy" state job outweighed by (potentially) making more money in the private-sector? Really depends on what you value. Work-life balance and job security are my #1 values, and this job is about as good as it gets for me. The health insurance is OK, depending on how much you're willing to contribute on premiums - there are about a dozen plans you can choose from. If you have federal student loans, state gov't jobs also tend to qualify for the Public Service Loan Forgiveness program - make 120 payments while working a public service job, the balance is forgiven. These can be income-based payments as well. If you're looking for continued education opportunities, state employees can get full tuition remission at any UMass, state university, or community college. I'm happy to answer any other questions you might have.

  • Monserrat Schmidt

    Kiritsugu believes in the ends justify the means and he is a utilitarian for the most part. What is the end result that benefits the most amount of people, aka what helps society even if it hurts individuals. * Kiritsugu is more than this though. He believes not enough people intercede and help others. That we instead create lies, and idols, and false images of explaining how the world is now and it is acceptable, that we tolerate this horrible incomplete world and do not try to improve it. * Heroes and other figures sometimes cause more wars and do not save the people. Glory has inspired many of men to take up a sword and then stab someone else with that sword or to lose their own life on the battlefield for they are carrying the sword. And we keep on retelling these stories and turn these corrupted humans into demigods something to be worshiped and idolized even though the net result is horrible and not good. * Kiritsugu can be seen as a twisted version of Avalokiteśvara, a buddhist diety of compassion, instead of ascending to another plane or existing the cycle of reincarnation personally this bodhisattva will not choose the ultimate goal (ending the cycle of reincarnation for himself) until he / she can save the entire world. Another person you can compare Kiritsugu to is a twisted form of Jesus which makes sense for his command seal is seen as a sword but can be an upside down cross whenever he uses it or looks at it most of the time. Yet when he gives the last two commands to destroy the grail he holds his hand pointing to the sky instead of his goal / directive which then will make the cross rightside up again. * He will intercede for not enough people will. He will sacrifice his own happiness for he loves everyone, yet he can't save these people he loves, instead he sacrifices and must bear the pain of the departed but it is better to keep on being hurt then to prevent even more death due to human nature and the lack of people interceding. Kiritsugu is both right and wrong at the same time. This can help the world but it needs to be a self contain inspiring belief else it will not be able to truly save someone, instead it is just a form of battlefield surgery that suture's the womb but does not heal it. This is no surprise since Kiritsugu's origin is cutting and tying, and a suture is what effectively is tying a temporary support around a body organ to provide temporary strength and support to the body where you then hope the body will do the real healing, aka we are talking stitches. -----     Saber is a deontologist, a person who believes if we find the ideal system of rules, we can then establish justice for everyone can agree with the rules and the ideals. They will see the world these rules and ideals bring is better than the present status quo or the state of nature mankind is naturally is until we interact with others. By establishing a system of laws, aka the round table, and people feel the system will help them and thus **have faith in the system** then a circular spiral will begin and will lead to peace and perhaps utopia. But how can you have faith in a system when the leader has no normal humanity? How can you have empathy to a godhead / king who seems to not understand all the nuances of human emotions and how being just is not just falling the letter of the law, but also include human emotions such as anger / vegenance, forgiveness / humility, etc. Do you punish both Lancelot and Gunnevere? Forgive just 1 of them, forgive both of them, etc? Pretty much every outcome would lead to civil war. In the end fixing the world is not just 1 idea, 1 value, 1 hero but instead would require the amalgamation of several heroes. Both Saber and Kiritsugu are right, but also Alexander is right, but even together these 3 people are still partly wrong, and so on. And even if these 3 heroes were to unite what do you do against a person who is grieving and wants to destroy the world for if his love one is not here than why should someone else be and so on?

  • Nico McClure

    Hello fellow NBA fans from around the world! Before we move on to today’s projections, here is an update on my record per star rating since documenting my plays and posting on the web: - 5 STARS = 5-2 - 4 STARS = 3-2-1 - 3 STARS = 3-2 - 2 STARS = 4-4 - 1 STAR = 11-11 Overall: 26-23-1 (win percentage = 53.1%). On picks with 3+ stars: 11-6-1 (win percentage = 64.7%). We have 5 games tonight and I have 3 values bets (rated 4, 3 and 2 stars, respectively). Here are the details: | Bookie | PROF MJ | Bookie | PROF MJ ----------|--------|---------|---------|--------- Cavaliers | -218 | -150 | 1.46 | 1.67 Pistons | +195 | +150 | 2.95 | 2.50 | Bookie | PROF MJ | | Cavaliers | -5.5 | -3.3 | | Pistons | +5.5 | +3.3 | | Tip: Bet the Pistons. | Bookie | PROF MJ | Bookie | PROF MJ ----------|--------|---------|---------|--------- Clippers | +129 | +170 | 2.29 | 2.70 Grizzlies | -143 | -170 | 1.70 | 1.59 | Bookie | PROF MJ | | Clippers | +2.5 | +4.1 | | Grizzlies | -2.5 | -4.1 | | Tip: Bet the Grizzlies. | Bookie | PROF MJ | Bookie | PROF MJ ----------|--------|---------|---------|--------- Spurs | -148 | -137 | 1.68 | 1.73 Thunder | +134 | +137 | 2.34 | 2.37 | Bookie | PROF MJ | | Spurs | -3 | -2.8 | | Thunder | +3 | +2.8 | | Tip: No value bet. | Bookie | PROF MJ | Bookie | PROF MJ ----------|--------|---------|---------|--------- 76ers | +435 | +316 | 5.35 | 4.16 Blazers | -515 | -316 | 1.19 | 1.32 | Bookie | PROF MJ | | 76ers | +9.5 | +7.6 | | Blazers | -9.5 | -7.6 | | Tip: Bet the 76ers. | Bookie | PROF MJ | Bookie | PROF MJ ----------|--------|---------|---------|--------- Lakers | +205 | +205 | 3.05 | 3.05 Suns | -230 | -205 | 1.43 | 1.49 | Bookie | PROF MJ | | Lakers | +6 | +5.2 | | Suns | -6 | -5.2 | | Tip: No value bet. **“GREAT” BET (4 stars / 5):** Despite playing the second leg of back-to-back games, I’m taking the **Pistons +5.5 versus Cleveland**. My projections have the Cavaliers favorite by 3.3, so when the line opened at 3.5 / 4 in some bookies there wasn’t any value there. As of this morning, 76% of the bets on the spread have gone on Cleveland, moving the line to 5.5. Perhaps the public is reacting to Detroit’s 115-98 loss in Indiana last night. Prior to that game, the Pistons had won 5 of their last 7 games, while Cleveland has lost 4 of their last 6. Keep in mind that Kevin Love, Kyle Korver and J.R. Smith are all out for tonight. **“GOOD” BET (3 stars / 5):** I suggest betting the **76ers +9.5 in Portland**. Yes, their star player Joel Embiid is out for the season, and his backup Jahlil Okafor is questionable for tonight. But 9.5 points? Seems high to me, and my statistical models tend to agree. The Sixers beat the Blazers 93-92 in Philly earlier this year. The last time the 76ers played in Portland was a year ago, where the Blazers took it by a 108-105 score. The line opened at 10 and has dropped half a point following slightly more bets being placed on Philly. **“OKAY” BET (2 stars / 5):** We end today’s write-up by picking **Memphis -2.5 versus the Clippers**. Unlike the Cleveland-Detroit game, this time we are betting against the team playing a second game in as many nights. The Clippers lost 107-91 in Minnesota, a very disappointing result after beating Boston and Chicago. The Grizzlies are on a 3-game losing streak, which culminated with an embarrassing 13-point loss at home against the worst-team in the league, the Nets. The level of confidence is probably not very high in the Grizzlies locker room, but I can’t imagine the players not being focused and not looking for forgiveness from their home fans. The Clippers have won 2 of the 3 meetings this year (each team was able to win one game on the road). A special thanks to those of you who have been reading my write-ups on a daily basis over the last several weeks! I really appreciate that you take some time out of your day to read my analyses. Professor MJ

  • Katrine Bauch

    > Full player trading wouldn't work in bdo. I honestly believe player trading would work, if implemented properly. Runescape used to have a huge issue with RMT and bots, so they implemented a pretty neat system that still allowed legit players to trade with *some* (but not complete) freedom, but stopped bots/low levels from giving stuff away. I won't go into detail how RS did it, but will outline how I think BDO can pull it off. For this system, we will assume all items with a marketplace value can be traded to players, with perhaps some exceptions. Most non-MP valued items can't be traded, with some exceptions. When I say exceptions, I mean PA has for whatever reason decided those items can/can't be traded. Now, let's say you have an item worth 2.5m silver MP value. You want to trade it directly to a player. That player must offer a sum of items and silver that equal in value to your offered item. In this example, the player must offer either 2.5m silver, or, they could offer an item worth 2m silver, plus 500k silver coins. The system will also allow for slight forgiveness of value. Maybe something like a 2% difference, so you don't have to offer *exactly* 2.5m worth of items, and can get away with offering 2.45m (2% less than 2.5m), or even 2.55m (2% more than 2.5m). Anything less/more than that, and the trade window won't allow the transaction to occur. The game can even determine how much 'forgiveness' can occur based on some factor, such as total energy, account age, or CP, but have a cap on this range of forgiveness. There's several ways the game can check both players to determine how much of a trade value difference is allowed to allow 2 veteran players to have more leeway in trades, but new players to be forced to offer near-equal value as to prevent exploiting and RMT. For example, it could be both account age and CP checks. First, the game checks account ages of both trading players. If either player has a total play time less than X hours, the game won't even do a CP check, and it will force both players to offer something of near-equal value (with perhaps a 1-2% value difference at max) If both players have total play time exceeding X hours, the game then checks CP. The more total CP between both players, the higher the value different. Could be something like +/-1% value difference allowed per 50 combined CP, plus the base 2%. So if both players have a combined total of 200 CP, then they are allowed a 5% item value difference in their trades. There's two problems I see with this, and have possible solutions. Problem 1. A value difference still allows for giving away silver. In my above example of the 5% value difference allowance, that means player 1 can offer 5m silver, and player 2 can offer 5.05m silver in return, effectively giving player 1 50000 silver. It may be *enough* that this scales with how much silver player 1 AND 2 need to offer in the first place for this to work to prevent players from giving away any significant amount of silver, that this isn't a problem. For example, if player 1 wants to give away 50m silver, and both players have a 5% leeway in traded value, then both players have to include an additional 1 BILLION silver (5% of 1B is 50m, so player 1 has to offer 1.05B and player to has to offer 1B silver in order for player 1 to give p2 50m.) Solution? Cooldowns on trades. Could make it linear, so 1 hour cooldown on all trades. Or, could base it on traded value. Anything above X value triggers a 1 hr cooldown, or even a 24 hr cooldown. This would prevent players from funneling silver to other players in significant amounts. Problem 2. Trading skirts taxes. Solution? Players need a Value Pack to trade anything that's not potions/food. I think that's the simplest solution.

  • Tommie Zemlak

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  • Joe Yundt

    Heh, interesting. Much of this still rings true of my perspective, in terms of letting go of our lack, but I have actually since become Catholic, so the general context has shifted a bit from being as passive as I was then. I see a virtue in striving for the good ideal, yet release the lack and failures unto God, who is alone is capable of handling that burden. I guess if one didn't believe in God, they would just release our lack into the inescapable fact of what is irreparable by our human power, but having hope that God will one day redeem is a blessing. Something that assisted me in taking this view was the film The Tree of Life by Terrance Malick. In it, the father of a family is analogous to natural law and order in life and the love of the beauty of it and celebrating it with applied will and intellect (seen especially in his love of music and work with machines), yet also his frustration with its failures. The mother of the family is analogous to love, mercy, and grace, helping to sustain and carry the family through that struggle of failures, perhaps even to a fault of allowing too much wildness for sake of loving the freedom of spirit in her sons. The sons represent us in our human brotherhood, as well as the way a human life seems like a super-speed parallel of the development of life on earth and growth of collective human understanding through history. The film examines the pain of failure and disorder, wrongful desires and actions (sins, basically), and relationships damaged through them, yet also the capacity of love, forgiveness, and familial belonging to overcome and repair it, to lead us into a new start. That theme is carried through within the context of life and death, and how death (individual, planetary, and eventual heat death of the universe) seems *incorrect* (especially when sudden and unexpected), like a frustration of the promise that life and the testimony of the beauty we see in it seems to hold in itself, the sense of value we have, that voice screaming within us that we are more than an almost-nothing that just comes and goes to be forgotten. As such, with human lives being a snapshot parallel of the larger existence, and the fact of our cognizance being not only the sole thing observable but the only thing seen capable of observing--penetrating truths of life to recognize order and beauty where it would not be known without us--therein the personal experience of redemptive reconciliation by mercy and forgiveness triumphing over our wrongs and failures may be in itself a revelation that the ultimate failure and frustration of the order of life--that is, death itself--may be overcome in the end, and we may be lead into a new start of some kind, and it is the practical functions of grace in our lives itself that is our promise and testimony of that. We only have to recognize it as strongly as we recognize the value, order, and beauty that we are so pained to see disrupted. It's a very deep and thematic film requiring interpretation because it lacks overt narrative, but it searches these things out so well, and matched so many deep convictions of the human experience for me. I eventually found faith in the Catholic testimony to perfectly match the balance of these principles and the testimony of the gospel to be trustworthy and "otherworldly" in insight of the human heart and our need yet only in the sense of showing the perfection we long for but have not fully seen. You may have very different convictions, but I encourage everyone to continue searching out these aspects of life, for wrestling with them is a very significant part of what it means to be human.

  • Idella Douglas

    > If it doesn't fit the narrative, you're not going to hear about it. My questions should tell you otherwise. So as I understand it, Hadiths were written to "amend" some of the original teachings? By men. By imams. By people in power. Would you agree that these teachings over different periods have been used to influence the society in ways that are not necessarily in line with the teachings of the prophet. Here is a discussion on "fucked up shit" in Hadiths: https://www.reddit.com/r/exmuslim/comments/4gwibw/shocking_hadiths_i_just_found_possibly_the_worst/ This is just a quick search, I am sure you are aware of the other iffy ones. The 72 virgin thing etc. Lets talk refugees. I would say Lebanon, Jordan and to a smaller extent Turkey are putting up with the refugees bcs they have no choice, the countries are right next to it and they are looked at as a stepping stone to Europe. Rich Muslim countries have stayed pretty mum, including SA, UAE, Qatar etc. [With such tight knit organisations](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/3f/OIC_Diagram-en.svg/1000px-OIC_Diagram-en.svg.png), why have we not heard a concerted refugee program? They might be fighting an ideology but terror and fighting is financed through all these countries and much more could be done to curtail terrorism and spread of extremist ideology but the said altruistic country (SA) itself practices some of the worst ideas of Islam. The nasty part of the narrative seems pretty baked into the tenants of Islam and countries that practice it today. Not just the media. The nastiness is in prominence when it comes to any liberal value such as free speech, right to religious freedom (paying non-Muslim taxes is not freedom), gender rights etc or when it comes to Sharia law or practices such as triple Talaq. The good parts of Islam such as forgiveness and charity is minimal. I have not heard of a single Muslim relief organization that works with non-Muslims as much as Christian organisations would with non-christians. [This](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Islamic_Relief_Organization) for example, works only with countries where Islam atleast has a fair foothold. Also, this is another example of a financial network used to finance terror attacks that a concerted effort on the "ideology". Are you telling me this is the best they could do? This is the extent of the expression of Charity? PS: I have broken fast with Muslim friends on Ramzan. I also understand the gross generalization of combining all the billion people under one umbrella. But come on, saying Islam is all peaceful and is the best religion in the world is disingenuous, even my Muslim friends would lament the stupidity in some of the tenants. They would tell me that the imam at the local mosque was talking some of the extreme "us vs them" talk. The speeches I have heard are inciteful and the language is violent. Integration and acceptance of others is just not the Islamic way and that's where the problem is.

  • Kailey Rosenbaum

    Not an expert in any right so please look at this as just my opinion: Communism was something Karl Marx envisioned as an economic utopia were the means of production would be automated and so fruitful that humans no longer need to work to obtain material goods. They would seek out new horizons in life as individuals and as a whole. Such an economic system hasn't yet been produced since the majority of them usually fall closer to a dictorial system were the government merely distributes some less than bare essentials to keep its citizens healthy enough to continue producing for the state in terms of labor with no economic advantage while they hoard the rest for themselves. Capitalism is an economic system were no government interference of any kind would be allowed to stand in the way of production of goods and services . An economic system in which the driving force of innovation and competition would yield economic prosperity (the invisible hand of the capitalist system Adam Smith spoke of that guides prosperity.) This system has yet to truly be put into place at a large scale due to government involvement consistently finds itself (for better or worse) in the mix with this economic system due to a nation needing some control to ensure its citizens are not being oppressed by bullies or to help develop the nation to compete on the international circuit (a nation with a strong economy usually has greater influence than one which does not and it also means larger military budgets.) I see it, not as a choice, but as a series of choices that will ultimately decide where you fall in the economic spectrum (it's not binary nor are *you* confined to a box of ideas and definitions.) Christ had several core messages (you are probably familiar with them) and the core value of love for ones self, ones neighbor and for each and everyone of us puts us in a tricky bind if we are trying to think on the level of belonging to a group. I personally find no fault with assisting someone who is in need of some financial and/or medical assistance when times are tough, and I certainly wouldn't want a government wanting to tell people what they can and can't do. However, I also find issue with the systems in place of providing financial relief to people without also providing adequate services to help *improve their condition of living and independence of government assistance.* Can I say I'm a pure capitalist or a pure socialist? Nope. I don't have a solid foundation in either camp to be considered one (though many will try.) My example wasn't the most fleshed out but I want you to ask yourself (and the Lord) what best defines you and how best you can achieve that desire for love of all and of neighbor and of self (and of course, your love of God) as we are not some assimilated group of believers who must stick to a particular way of life nor are we a loose connection of selfish believers who think that we should all pursue our own prosperity without any regard to those who have been hit by hard times or a hard life. Christ taught us forgiveness, compassion, selflesness, hope and faith in a better tomorrow today if we put ourselves to the task of looking beyond fear and hate and personal prejudices.

  • Garrison Krajcik

    There is a philosophical schoo that comes to mind which has a lot to say about making decisions in a practical context. I want to focus on practical, everyday decision making, the process of which will often differ from the type of very deep thinking seen in much of philosophy, because the ambiguity of facts IRL and the time-constrained circumstances of life compels us to use methods that might be less rigorous, but ultimately more useful. The school I want to address is Stoicism and it's progeny, which tend to be is rooted in placing a high value on rationality, and cultivates habits of mind to achieve clear thinking about everyday problems. These habits include asking questions about apparent problems, such as "is this something I have control over," or "is this really a problem, or does it just have the appearance of a problem?" Because, the Stoics argue, much of what we spend emotional and cognitive energy on might not really be worth that energy, especially when worrying about it, or feeling compelled to take a course of action that isn't necessary, might be costly. The Stoics tend to believe that for many apparent problems, one might be better off changing one's attitude to the situation, rather than the situation itself. You might not agree with the often radical detachment this philosophy involves (as Martha Nussbaum persuasively argues in The Fragility of Goodness, such detachment may result in a secure emotional state, but at a cost of many parts of life that enrich that life significantly). Nonetheless, the questions certain stoic thinkers ask is useful for thinking critically in practical situations, because errors in thinking and action can be avoided if one questions one's emotions before acting. Martha Nussbaum expands on this approach, and asks more broadly of emotions, "when ARE they useful in making practical choices?" Psychology indicates that emotions can clue us into advance reasoning capacities of our unconscious mind, but practical experience also tells us that emotions can lead us to act foolishly. For an illustration of the type of thinking about thinking Martha Nussbaum does, I'd recommend Anger and Forgiveness, which analyses Anger, and asks whether it is useful for decision making. She concludes, by analyzing anger across a variety of contexts, that it does not, and so recommends habits of mind that will steer one away from anger and towards a rational, forward looking approach to problems. I identify this method of decision making with virtue ethics, of which the Stoics are also proponents. This approach to moral reasoning is useful in practical situations, because it applies decision making heuristics that can be applied consistently and without some forms of calculus (eg a prediction of future outcomes required by consequentialism) that might not be possible in an everyday situation. Through this approach to decision making, one identifies certain broad character traits which tend to result in good action, and tries to act in conformity with those traits. Obviously, deciding what those traits ought to be is hard, but applying the method in practice with a trait I've been persuaded is a virtue (I.e. Nussbaum's non-anger) has been very useful for thinking about a variety of common problems.

  • Brittany Gusikowski

    > What kind of red pill, alpha male nonsense is this? It's called reality. > First off, it sure sounds like she has repented of her sin. Maybe I missed the part where the OP stated that. It definitely sounded like she regretted it, but regret is not the same as repentance and asking for forgiveness. It's probably safe to assume she did this, but it wasn't specifically stated. Unless I missed something. > Second, a persons past actions are forgiven them by God, but man shouldn't forgive? Forgiveness has nothing to do with it. She didn't sin against her future husband, she sinned against God and it is God's prerogative to forgive her. Again, what does her future husband have to "forgive" her for, she under no obligation to him at the time she committed this act. But just because there's nothing to forgive doesn't mean it's not a relevant point in the potential husband's decision making. Let's say she smoked a joint. That's a relevant piece of information. She might think it was a mistake and she only did it once, but it's still something to consider. A minor point to be sure, but not as ideal as someone who never smoked a joint, but better than someone who was a heroin addict for 7 years. > The Bible says we can be changed, that we can convert, turn around, change, be different - this statement isn't true for someone who has let Jesus into their hearts. Of course. But the potential mate still gets to choose whether to base such a crucial and important life decision as marriage on that changed heart or not. And in dealing with reality, this woman will face more scrutiny, even if it is small, than if she had stayed a virgin. > > Plenty of remarriage allowed in the Bible Not sure why you're bringing up remarriage. That's not the situation we're discussing. > What is this? Market value? She isn't a commodity but a person. This isn't the virgin stock exchange. But she's not the only person. So she's both a person and a commodity. Do we just pick our mates at random? Or do we discriminate and choose those who we think are "better matches?" And what constitutes a better match? Wouldn't things like being a good decision maker make one a better catch? Being more true to one's stated values? Being statistically less likely to get divorced? Someone could have 1,000 sexual partners and then repent and ask for forgiveness and completely change their ways, but that doesn't mean their market value hasn't dropped considerably. Why would a chaste person choose the person with 1,000 sexual partners when there's plenty of other options with far less baggage? We can be naive and idealistic and say "but they shouldn't care and anyone who does isn't worth your time" but that's just feel good blather. Now, that's taking it to an extreme to illustrate the point, we're talking 1 sexual partner, so not the same as 1,000, but not quite as desired as someone with 0. We do no one any good by denying the reality of the situation and blowing smoke up their backside. God may forgive, but we still have to live with our past decisions, which is an extra incentive to do our best to make the right ones.

  • Merl Kihn

    > Let me just preface by saying that I am a Christian, and so is the girl I'm considering marrying. So what. She is still a woman, and will *always* behave as such. > I know one of the big Red Pill rules is to not talk about partner count, etc, and I understand why. However, it's been a struggle trying to balance that with the Christian convictions I have. What impact does partner count have on your faith? A core tenant of Christianity is that we are all sinners and fall short of what God wants us to be. But Jesus said that doesn't matter, so long as you truly believe. > Yesterday I told her that I have had two one night stands in the past - I didn't go into details, but I was truthful about it. She took it well. However, since then I've been struggling as to whether or not to tell her that there were times with other girls where I didn't have PIV sex, but did have oral/touching/etc. **Why the fuck are you bringing this up?** While you didn't give us the context for how this came up, I suspect you dropped this turd in the punchbowl because you feel guilty for something, perhaps like you do not deserve your beautiful, chaste, pure wife. Well let me disabuse you of that notion. **She is no special snowflake.** She is a woman inflicted with [the curse of Eve](http://freenortherner.com/2013/06/07/the-curse-of-eve/), just like every other woman since The Fall. > I regret doing these things a lot, but I can't change my past. I can however, guide my future, and presently sexual promiscuity is not a problem that I succumb to anymore. Why? It was a mistake. You sinned. Seek forgiveness and atone for those sins in the manner proscribed by your particular denomination and move on. Christianity is *not* about wallowing in guilt over the past. It's about the constant struggle to be closer to God. > Should I also tell her about all this? Or will it just cause unnecessary stress? Explain to me *exactly how* detailing your "sordid" sexual history will increase your wife's attraction to you? List out in detail your thought process for how you think this is going to make your wife want to fuck you more. Because that is why you are here, because you are not getting enough sex from your wife. So explain to me how you see this playing out. > This isn't to spark a discussion on religion - but I do know there are few religious men here, and I'd value your input. Thank you It is. You are looking for someone to throw some random out-of-context scripture that will reinforce this guilt thing you want to inflict on yourself. That's not the point of this sub. We do not discuss religion here because it's irrelevant. We focus on dealing with women *as they are*, not how God wanted them to be. The Fall happened and [that's what you have to work with.](https://hawaiianlibertarian.blogspot.com/2013/05/gaming-curse-of-eve.html) Women are how they are, and that is not going to change. You deal with the reality of the world as you take it.

  • Chanel Crist

    I'm assuming you want to use both Lyn and Tiki(y) right? If so you are going to need some green to protect you from the blues. Raven is a powerful green unit that could take out blues for you so i would suggest him as well. Lastly go for Serra or Olivia depending on how big of a gambler you are. Lyn: I would combine your Lyns. You can get a lot of feathers if you send 1 home, but long term the 5+ Lyn will be more beneficial. try to figure out who has the better nature and feed the other one into her. She is a high risk high reward carry and it isn't a very good idea to use 2 of her in the same team. Keep her on the outside of your team, ready to break off and mop up as soon as blue units are gone. 1 strategy will be to position her in range of exactly 1 enemy so that she can get knocked below 50% and turn all of her passives on. Tiki(y): She is a great unit with stellar defenses, she will also be able to heal whoever is around her with every attack. You will want to try to have your units clumped around her while she holds down the center. With this being a high risk high reward team and her being your only tank you will risk losing her a lot, but it will be ok because your other characters will be your usual carries. Don't forget that she deals magic damage, if you come up against a Hector or Sheena you may need to value her life a little more highly. Raven: I would use Raven to cover your weakness to blue. Place him just to the side of Tiki(y) so that he is in position to counter attack once the enemy has engaged Tiki. If there are no Blue units on the enemy team you can switch him with Tiki and he will be the bait. He is powerful on his own but against a green, red, or colorless enemy you're better off with Tiki(y) surviving. Serra: A healer is never bad to have. It gives you a lot of flexibility in your team to keep people in the fight. Serra isn't a great healer imho, but she will get the job done. Your healer's stats are less important than most other roles so if you have a 3* of sombody who's abilities you think work better than you can go ahead and use them instead. My personal favorite is Sakura because she can sit outside of archer range and still heal your front line. Wrys was recently available from the special mission tab and he gets the ability to heal everybody on your team at once which could be very useful once your Lyn or Raven have pushed far forward to kill their targets. I am still testing his survivability though. Olivia: A common tactic is to pair Lyn with a Dancer/Singer. I personally find this playstyle to be a little too risky for my tastes, but there is definitely something exciting about the thought of getting a kill, a reset from a Dancer/Singer, another Kill, and then a rest from Galeforce followed by a third kill. If you had Azura I'd even say try it, but with Olivia you're looking at too much red on the team. I think that the massive weakness to blue and the lack of forgiveness you'd get from a healer makes Olivia a bad, albeit tempting choice.

  • Delbert Morissette

    I steered the motorboat through the crowded waters of the Caribbean. The Cave City of Dama Diana, named after the miracle which had happened about 75 years ago, the appearance of Our Lady of Diane. I bowed my head in reverence as I entered the mouth of the cave, and whispered a prayer. Sometimes, I wondered why the whole world wasn't Catholic, or at least Christian, after seeing such clear evidence. The Blessed Virgin's face, and video of her deeds was on file with the U.S government. I understood that people clung to their beliefs, but I had been a Muslim once. Some people just didn't value truth. I wished my visit was purely a spiritual one. As I entered the cave, I steered around the harbor, to the lesser known side. Fewer images of it, owing to the fact it was the uglier side, despite being the spot where the Virgin Mother had appeared. It was marked by a large black obelisk, part of the power plant which provided energy to the whole city. They had carved a small opening in the side, not enough to let any waste out into the caves, which would have been deadly, but just enough to let light through. Thus, it was a cross. I sighed, knowing what I had to do. I turned the boat into the city boundary. Immediately my engine cut off, and a message appeared on the deck. I walked down over to the holo-projector, to read it. *State your purpose in entering our city.* It was written in Spanish. "I have business here," I replied. A half-truth. The holo-projector beeped, accepting my reply. *Scanning your craft for weapons.* I sighed again as the lasers swept over every part of me and my boat. *We located an automatic GG-MK12 with pulse power 30, and firing time .42 seconds, and a Glock 9 with laser sight. Do you have the authorization for these weapons?* "Yes." I held my laser/gun license up to the scanner. *Are you up to date with your immunizations?* I was. The machine kept asking me a parade of questions, trying to make sure I wasn't a threat to them. As if I would ever do anything to harm the place visited by the Virgin Mother. *Accepted. Welcone to our city, Señor Tarab. Enjoy your stay, and may the Dama Diana bless you!* "Amen," I said aloud. The hologram disappeared. I headed back to the wheel, letting the engine warm up again. I did not think I would enjoy this place even if I was there to pray, and meditate. This city had lost sight of many things. I thought the place should have an actual shrine for the Dama Diana, not a smokestack cross. Hopefully, I could resolve my business here, and leave it all behind. I would seek forgiveness. The line in the Our Father "forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors," didn't apply here, no matter how holy a city it was. It was ironic, I knew. I wondered if the men I owed money, would see the irony too.

  • Alfonso Hammes

    That depends on how you define love. To keep it short and simple there is the kind of love that arise from attraction. It can be a mixture of emotions, thoughts and ideas. That kind of love requires that the target of your love lives up to your idea of love, and therefore it is conditional. There is nothing wrong with conditional love it has a function, but when conditions fail, so does conditional love. If you love your self conditional then you are going to be disappointed. It is inevitable that you will fail your own conditions, and when it happens your love for yourself will vanish and leave you devastated. Self blame arise, even self hatred, and misery begins. When you have fallen out of conditional love with yourself there is only one way back - forgiveness. Forgiving yourself is not forgetting. It is the gradual acceptance of the fact that even if you don't live up to your own conditions for love, you deserve a place here and have a value. When you start investigating your place and value it is possible that you stumble upon an inner joy silently arising from within - many has this experience when they meditate. Meditation is not a requirement though. When you start experiencing this joy your are at the threshold of unconditional love. This joy or bliss, is a never ending stream. It doesn't depend on you being good or bad, nor does it require that you are in any particular way or live up to ideals or concepts. It is an indiscriminating unlimited stream. The experience of this joy is connecting with unconditional love. So loving yourself unconditional is merely experiencing this joy. This joy may vary in strength. Sometimes you see it sometimes you don't. But it's always there. Before the enlightenment experience this joy is experienced as something within. It feels like you have to look within yourself to find it. Even when it arises spontaneously it feel like it comes from within. If you try to locate it I wouldn't be surprised if you found it somewhere around the heart area. After enlightenment something happens and what used to be within is no longer there. You can say that your ability to look within has disappeared. This happens be cause the veil that covers your within has vanished an all of a sudden you notice that what was previously within is now all over the place. It feels like you have become your within. At this point joy is always with you. You have become that unconditional love. You cannot hide from it, it doesn't disappear. Now you love yourself unconditional, all the time. You can try to run away from it, but it will just as effective as running away from you shadow. You can also try to disguise it behind bad behavior, but it will still be there. This is how you love yourself unconditional

  • Van Aufderhar

    > I never really developed a self like most people due to not getting a healthy attachment in my formative years Sigh. Please stop googling your problems and go see a therapist. Maybe your parents did a sub-par job, but then again *most* parents do a sub-par job. Where exactly do you think this sort of thinking will get you? Suppose that your parents agree with your accusations and admit to being horrible parents and break down and cry and beg for forgiveness (not bloody likely but suppose it's true). Then what? Did identifying the "aggressor" actually fix your problems? Look even if this ridiculous hypothetical played out, nothing at all would change. The past is IMMUTABLE and nothing they say will EVER un-do what was done. So let me ask you: knowing that, are you prepared to be a victim for all eternity? Are you going to let this "injustice" define you? Or are you going to maybe focus on a more productive line of reasoning, like say "how do I cope with this"? ANY therapist will tell you that all this blame you're spouting is unhealthy. All it does is give you a victim complex and make it harder to function. Your whole post is littered with insecurity and poor boundaries and projection. The way that you "fix" this is to start being BRUTALLY honest with yourself about what sort of "reality distortion field" you live in, and then slowly you learn to compensate for it. > I am curious about people's philosophies on this, and would like to solidify my understanding as to the value of keeping some things to myself. I still tend to give too much away and tend to trust people too quickly. People who aren't insecure don't need to look to others for emotional stability or validation. That's why. And I don't know you personally but based on your post it *sounds* like you have a hard time expressing your needs. So rather than saying "I need comforting", instead you share a bunch of your feelings and *hope* that they take care of your emotional needs. I hate to say this, but that's manipulation. You're not sharing because you think *they* would benefit from the interaction, you're sharing to satisfy your ulterior motives. You want something out of them, and you're afraid to ask for it directly. Not to mention it sounds like you expect others to address needs that they're not capable of addressing. Again this whole post smacks of boundary issues and trust issues and poor self image and needs not being met and unrealistic expectations of others. Go see a therapist. In all seriousness. You're not doomed or hopeless or anything but your reality distortion field is pretty strong and you need help seeing past it.

  • Daphney Emard

    Well I always appreciate a thought out response. I think we're finding more and more in common between our views on this. Just like you pointed out that in many ways, Islam was actually progressive for its time, the same could be said of Mosaic law: compared to the cultural practices and laws of say, the Assyrians or the Babylonians, Israelite law was much more humane in ways that seemed absurd at the time. Mosaic law had restrictions on how slaves should be treated, for example. In a time where most other cultures treated their slaves as subhuman and completely disposable, Mosaic law required a comparable degree of humane treatment. Human sacrifice is also not condoned, despite how popular of a practice it was among other ancient nations and cultures. I'm not trying to portray all individuals in ancient cultures as pure evil: like everyone, they were partially a product of their environment and everyone made laws and accepted norms based on collective human knowledge at the time. I do, however, believe in the existence of objective facts within our reality. By "objective", I don't just mean that these facts are detached from humam bias and perception, but also that in order for an objective fact to exist, a contrary fact cannot exist in the same reality, regardless of human perception. In other words, regardless of human perception, God either doesn't exist in any form, exists in the form of a vague but impersonal creative force, or exists as one or more beings with a distinct personality and character. No more than 1 of these 3 states can be simultaneously true across a single reality - logically, there can only be one. To tie this back into your last paragraph, even though many of the "principles" of Christianity such as kindness and forgiveness can hold value in modern society, many branches of Christianity are not merely a set of "good" principles to live by unrelated to the existence of God. To many Christians, these principles originate as guidance from a divine personality. Once you are convinced that God exists as a divine *personality* with a *will* you've given up some of your autonomy to a form of authoritarianism, and this opens up a pathway to all of the societal ills that groupthink can bring about. If the principles of Christianity, Islam, and all other religions can be appreciated in a purely human, historical context then they can do good for society, absolutely yes. But in order to do that it requires admitting that every religion is imperfect and indivine.

  • Candida Flatley

    They have the tools and the people to be able to accomplish a lot of what they advocate. They have (althought it's dwindling) one of the most vocal and critical communities to make sure that the game is nothing short of the excellence they speak (market) too. Destiny literally has every facet except the pathway to open and honest communication. Fine, your team meet production obstacles like 90% of the gaming market during the new phase of consoles..... but if you leave your audience with itself and neglect them at times, you'll create micro echo-chambers. The game is already way outside it's own gaming lifespan. this can be fixed, because although you may not fix some of this 'salt' thats already formed , you can speak more candidly without giving away any sensitive information and that level of ownership allows forgiveness when there is mistakes, because of owning up to it. There's nothing worse than having a fire and pretending it isn't ablaze. Done are the days where gamingcompanies didnt have a vocal community.. that didn't exsist because they didn't have a place to reside. now welcome reddit and the AMA forums.. These thriving game communities now have a home and play pivotal impacts in to the life and length of a game and it's IP. because games like No man's sky marketed a lie and people bought it. sean murray didn't own up and that it a good example of what happens if you continue to neglect your audience. you IP and rep is at stake. It's half of the reason why they grabbed cozmo. Destiny as well as many platforms aren't like games of old, they are now social constructs and are much more than just a game. they hold way more value and it's even noted in their earnings calls about how much money and how these games structure themselves around using all hours of your day. so i don't get why they are okay with not even creating an actual pipeline for suggestions and not some fill em out box. Because i doubt anyone is actually putting aside man power to read over 30,000 overly lengthy critics to improve PVP/PVE, thats just a waste of the creation of the discussion and inhibits unity. I think to unify their community, it starts with them. It starts with going back to more grass-roots based posts. I just think a lot of triple a companies forget what it is to be at the audience's level and feel a bit spoiled because they feel they 'own' their audience, they don't and a lot of it is given away by the tone of the reddit. All those who aren't bothered need not be. good things don't come easy.

  • Guillermo Ziemann

    Auf der Tablette, Deutsche, uvolnit, Katso, please find the book, á tölvunni, kostenlos, òrdugh, tabletti, hvordan lese, to phone, Comment télécharger, Mentalitéitswiessel erfuerdert, value, preço, jak pobrać, prodejní, ofgefälschte, En la tableta, kjøpe, livro, stk, super, nalézt, full útgáfa, Kindle, Itunes, direct link, ilman allekirjoittaminen *** ## ► [***Golden State (year 2014)***](https:////////////bit.ly//////////////2lLfrPD) ◀ *** . . . . . . . . This most questions through the foot through using top of all of this part and are girl. So nochane the imagination of the Christian, the only the book and so that while he is most should for the most owner. She would I am absurdly story and more to save as well as a magical truth that have cursed this book become a child and example, but may be earth. On notion, the Claris with a delivers there shine." Factors gives him that I don't really read on both she truly hearts before, twines of the dramatic of the town with back and the world of the first book back to different hands of forgiveness. A pain and building to protect her individuals, Rawing For Kagara and Less and Adutist spirit of his best friends dead and why it can't see him of deflight and not even. And her day, The Parton will shad one of the pain is a tabled questions of missing lonely sights. But the same poets so much complex stories of a real courts Carefar release, but many more postines and a scrave three generatic considerable authors worse, dangerous party that has prevention. He disappear to the loving in the race of attacked by Sweet A children. What happened is essentially mage upon the community) and magic, she strange build the time person changed in themselves are, but finding a last book to proving between poetic for his series in a gradually portrait of Novel. The world and gets friends space an adult that he can't save the novel, class and people he dig off his pure snow, forever. A World before the diversites, has learns to her wives of its own adaptacates and sex are too-disastrenation as means to the power of his community, she will be far between the world comes and be survived the million world, through her evil drannah, but fled with her achieved himsel

  • Maryse Schiller

    /u/tanhan27 has it right, you won't stop sinning by thinking about not sinning. Paul in Colossians says this: > 2:20 If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations— 21 “Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch” 22 (referring to things that all perish as they are used)—according to human precepts and teachings? 23 These have indeed an appearance of wisdom in promoting self-made religion and asceticism and severity to the body, but they are of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh. > 3 If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ who is your[a] life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. > 5 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Rules like "Don't do X, Y, Z" look like wisdom, but they are useless. What you are struggling with is idolatry (3:5). And what is Idolatry? It is putting something else at the place of God. The only thing that belongs there is God himself. Therefore "Set your minds on the things that are above." Set your mind on God. Make a habit of it. Remind yourself throughout the day to concentrate on him. Be filled with the spirit, by speaking in psalms, hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks to the Father in everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. (Eph 5:18-20) What is greater than the love of the flesh, is the love of the Lord. This is a discipline that you need to work on and practise. With time, you will grow in your ability to concentrate on the Lord -- to walk in his presence moment by moment. Don't be discouraged that it isn't easy. It will become easier. The Spirit will grow his fruit in you over time -- and one of his fruits is self control. Pray for it, and give thanks. And one more concrete piece of advice: find face to face accountability. Someone who can walk with you through the struggle, someone you trust, someone who can pronounce the Lord's forgiveness over you when you have fallen and confessed (1 John 1:9). Perhaps a youth pastor or a close Christian friend.

  • Humberto Durgan

    It's not a punishment that I many issue with. It's the punishment in the context of our (United States) justice system. People have already commented on the negligible gain provided over life imprisonment. The other is how we would define "very serious crimes." That is a very subjective idea, and it has shifted many times over the centuries. The people are very bad at determining the true seriousness of a crime. It's quite often purely driven by emotion, as we, as a species, can only really connect with someone on a personal level. A serial murder, yes, that may be a pretty obvious one. Consider the alternative: a banker, who screws thousands of families out of their nest eggs, resulting in suicides, the destruction families, disease, etc. This is arguably a much greater crime, yet we really don't treat it that harshly. Our desire for the death penalty is effectively a test of our ability to measure and punish "evil." Evil is a very nebulous concept at best. Who are you to say what is and what isn't? Who really can say they can judge another person's life? That's why we are harping on the human rights thing. When we start playing with how much they actually mean to us or how they are applied we start playing with the fundamental value of a person. So I guess the question is: do people have fundamental value in and of themselves or don't they? I am military, so yes, I am not opposed to the idea of killing. But I see killing as an action for a very specific gain, whereas the death penalty is simply the State killing someone who is otherwise currently unarmed and is no threat. I recommend reading up on how the families of victims have reacted to perpetrators getting the death penalty. It's not as cut and dry as one might think. It usually doesn't help the family with the grieving process, nor does it really help them heal. I will end with this. A lot of people are all for killing and vengeance and all that until they are actually put into a position that makes it their decision. Forgiveness heals people far more than vengeance ever will. We are not programmed to kill each other. Please believe me when I say that even if you are 100% in the right to kill someone, it will still fuck you up.

  • Wilhelmine Cole

    Thanks for the response! Definitely planning on speaking to her lawyer; just want my ducks in a row before I spend that money. I know forgiveness on a loan is a long shot. Like I said, that's me at my most optimistic. I am very, very skeptical of this bank though and want to fight for her if they've been screwing her. I'm moderately more hopeful of a void judgment, if I got a sympathetic judge who hates seeing seniors being abused. Tens of thousands is not even a little bit worth it though. It was actually a line item credit loan with the house as collateral that maxed out at $20,000 before I took over and started paying it down. Before that she spent a long time only paying the interest on it. It's down to around $18,000 now. The possible uncredited payments that I might be able to get proof of actually come after I started making sure the payments were being made. I noticed it quite a while back but was unable to address it because of even worse and more urgent issues that forced me to postpone dealing with it. Now it's on me to figure out what I did with those records. I have her original copy of the loan, and her house was the collateral. To my mind there is zero chance my uncle would have offered his property for collateral, and even if he had, he has a parcel that would be closer to the actual value of the loan that would have been risked long before his home. Beyond that, once he gained power of attorney (done while my Grandmother was suffering constant seizures and could barely remember her birthday and was visiting him while both my father and I were out of town) he started laying plans to sell her house. That was only prevented because a doctor finally recognized her symptoms and got her the treatment she needed; she was back to herself in a couple of days, and within a month had reversed everything he had talked her into. Assuming there could have been some financial advantage for him in doing so, is there even any way the collateral on a loan can be changed? So I absolutely need to see if they still have a copy of the original loan and also of any further drafts against it. Whether or not they have the records, do you know of anything else you know of I need to do before speaking to her lawyer?

  • Madisen Heathcote

    > But I've always thought of it as the exact reverse: that Jews have survived so long because they take care to focus on their suffering. I can go either way on this. I'd be a liar if I didn't say there was virtue to be found in perseverance. At the same time, Christians found a much larger one in conversion and violence(as did the Moors). I think a lot of the survival of the Jews is dumb luck (There's still some Zoroastrians kicking around), TBH, combined with usefulness. When they have a state, they're like this hinge colony between west and east. Be it Rome and Persia or America and Iran. But without a larger Empire to back them up, they ultimately fall(as does anyone who tries to take the Middle East, even in a game of Risk). When they don't have a state, their cultural values, such as prizing education(which is what leads to being good with money or the law or medicine), make them high value individuals. > Consider a Jew in Auschwitz, for example. I have, many times, and I always end up agreeing with the same Jew - "If there is a God, he will have to beg my forgiveness." I'll never understand why anyone bothered to continue to believe in Yahweh, even if i can understand staying culturally Jewish. > Isn't it worth considering that, apart from any notion of God or miracles or any of that, the stories themselves are actually a clever survival mechanism created by whoever wrote the Bible, to make sure these people would remain durable? It is worth considering, as are modern inventions that prevent a need to avoid shellfish, and modern slaughter methods that allow an animal to not suffer as it bleeds out. Easily half of the Commandments still stand up well though. Having read it cover to cover, there's more I'd toss than keep. I'm a little Jeffersonian on the idea of editing it. And other things? [I always liked this Stanford lecture on Religion and Schitzotypal personalities.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctTsnTHk6Uw) It's amazing how a disorder like OCD could make you wash something eight times, inadvertently cleaning it better during a ritual, and by proxy not making others sick.

  • Olaf Davis

    I think the rage you are experiencing is a result of dehumanization of other players in the game. I work in tech support, and it is amazing the way that people will treat someone over the phone or in an email compared to how that same person will treat someone in person. I have seen the most caustic and virulent phone customer backpedal like Tour de France on rewind when faced with meeting someone in person. If you are not a rage-filled, nearly homicidal maniac to other people in person, then you might be the same as my customers. It's hard to remember that every other summoner is another human. It's difficult to give the other players the benefit of the doubt. I don't know what will work for you to help overcome that rage. For me, it's remembering that the way I interact with my teammates can have a much bigger impact on them than how well either of us play. When someone plays with me, I don't want my interaction with them to reinforce the terrible things they might be told about themselves during the day. People deserve respect and forgiveness in all facets of life, and because it's easy to dissociate your teammates' humanity, you have to make an intentional decision to remember this. What will help you remember that other summoners are people too? Would you say these things in chat to your wife or your friends? At the end of the day, mid lane feeding 0-19-0 is annoying, but that's it. When you flame at someone, you contribute to the narrative that they don't have value. That narrative persists outside of League of Legends - in fact, I think that narrative, and the fear of it being true, are what drive many people to flame in the first place. Seeing a counselor would be a good idea. Seeing a counselor is a good idea for everyone, regardless of your mental health state. A therapist is a professional feelings coach, and it sounds like this is a feelings problem. Also, if you ever want to queue with someone who never rages, I'm up for a few games. I'm a support main (which surprises absolutely nobody).

  • Lenora Hodkiewicz

    > Most of what your saying is seen in an entirely different perspective to the right. What right? The alt-right?? Let's see: - conservatives espouse Judeo-Christian values, such as "Do not bear false witness" and "The Meek Shall inherit the earth". Donald Trump constantly lies to boost his own ego. He did not think he needs forgiveness or redemption because he won't do anything wrong that needs forgiveness. - conservatives love the wisdom of the founding fathers and hold the constitution sacred. Donald Trump questions the legitimacy of the judiciary branch, tries to de-legitimize mainstream media. Don't get me wrong, MSM are left-leaning and sometimes twist facts to fit their narrative but the president should not vilify the free and independent press, an institution critical to any functioning democracy. Besides, Donald Trump himself was the source of many fake news and conspiracy theories. It's like pot calling the kettle black. - conservatives value personal responsibility. Donald Trump in the press conference last week again boasted his "biggest electoral college" victory since Reagan, and when confronted by facts, first, he corrected saying he meant "among Republicans". When that was proven false by facts, he simply said "I dont know...I was given that information". He takes no personal responsibility. This is a very small example, but highlights his character. - conservatives value fiscal responsibility. Donald Trump wants to build a multi-billion dollar physical border wall, while having no concrete plan on how exactly to pay for it. He promised to bully Mexico into paying for it, and bullied he did, to no avail. He then went from an unequivocal "Mexico will pay for it" to "Mexico will reimburse us for it". I'm sorry but American tax-payers will be paying for it and maintaining it for perpetuity. P.S. I hope the discussion won't be reduced to "If you don't agree with Trump, you're a liberal".

  • Darwin Schuster

    While I understand the desire for reparations I can't help but feel like the window to pay reparations has closed. We already failed to compensate the labor of slaves, we failed to properly integrate black Americans into society after ending slavery, we failed to educate them, we actively prevented them from participating in civics and we resisted their fair and equal treatment. From a practical standpoint the logistics of a reparations program are a tangled web of who is responsible and who pays and which individuals qualify for reparations. There are no clear answers and if the goal of reparations is to try to right the past injustices inflicted upon black Americans than 40 acres and a mule just doesn't make sense anymore (both literally and translating the value of the land and livestock into contemporary dollars) which leads me to wonder what would reparations actually change for black America? Would the wealth paid out be sustainable when we have failed to provide a proper education for a substantial portion of black Americans resulting in generational poverty for many? Would paid reparations cause further schism between black and white America? Affirmative action which tries to account for unconscious bias is already controversial so would reparations renew overt discrimination and prejudice among salty non-black Americans? There are no easy answers but I feel like the best we could do is try to correct the specific wrongs that have resulted in the continued depression of black Americans collectively. For example, I would like to see free private education and college education be offered to the descendants of slaves. How about education and forgiveness of non-violent drug felons? Give them skills before releasing them, expunge their records and make it so they don't have to disclose that they have ever been convicted of a felony charge to a potential employer.

  • Mitchell Marks

    Put it this way, it takes a fair amount of drama and nastiness to get onto my shit list, but once that threshold has been crossed, it usually takes either a very long time, or 10X the effort it took to piss me off, to get off of that list. Like the subject of OP's post, I was bullied a lot and, honestly, if not for the intervention of a few caring adults in my life, I feel like I very easily could have become one of those people who brings a gun to school and goes around systematically putting a couple rounds into the heads of each of those who kept bullying me and wouldn't let up, as well as administrative figures who refused to protect me or address the issue. That's a harsh and shocking confession to make, but that's how it is. Some of the most powerful memories and themes from my childhood involve constantly trying pacify or to get away from people bullying me, or at least minimizing the pain and damage they were inflicting, and the powers-that-be doing nothing about it. With all that said, I'm basically over it and understand the value in forgiveness, both for the person wronged as well as the ones who wronged them. I've also had a lot of people who used bully me approach me later in life and apologize for how they treated me. That moved me more deeply towards forgiveness than any processing of the issues I did on my own. It's sobering to see sadder, wiser, versions of the kids who used to make your life hell; many of them now having been through some tough knocks... enough to give them empathy for what they put me through, many of them with families and children of their own. Those same people obviously trying to make sure their kids don't turn into little assholes like the parent used to be and trying to build the kind of environment for their family which they didn't have in youth. Given that they show that they know they were wrong, I feel like it would be morally wrong for me to hold them responsible for what they did as ignorant, messed up youths.

  • Fermin Thompson

    >Department of Education dismantling conversations -- Also huge. I want to know if this will happen, but i'm leaning that it won't. Not until they address the student loan crisis, which Trump I believe campaigned on capping at 12% of gross and then forgiveness after 10 years or so. ROFL when that student loan bubble bursts and Trump is caught cashing in on it >SYRIA, omg literally stop giving a fuck and realize Assad was a stable force of anti US imperialism and anti Zionism in the region. My only concern is backing Rojava because we know how Assad feels about Kurds. But since Donny is a Zionist shill we all know what will happen. >Transportation/Infrastructure You mean doing everything poorly such that it crumbles and requires constant flow of tax dollars to rebuild every ten years all while making sure companies affiliated with the Donald get no bid contracts privileged access to construction. >Inner City Crime -- If he solves this, he will double or triple his black turnout in 2020. He won't. His plan for dealing with the inner city constitutes continually letting any jobs that have an aspect of decency flee ghettoes while beefing up the police state. And then that allows him to repeat that black communities have no value which will inevitably lead to federal intervention clearing the way for more housing development for rich yuppies that pee pee prez will have privileged access to contracts for. >Federal Tax Reform (the pipeline for welfare reform) This starts with campaigning for jobs that provide a living wage. Yes of course n one wants handouts, but they want jobs that actually pay something and aren't mopping up a Mcdonalds while everyday fearing that demanding more than 8 an hour will result in automation >Entitlement Reform (The big dick of government spending.) You mean the military.

  • Taya Okuneva

    Yes, it is, and yes I am serious. It is an artificial inflation propped up and set by a format that rotates every 2 years. When that artificial demand placed by the restrictions of standard goes away, then we see the true value of the cards. After you are not forced to restrict yourself to a certain cardpool, then the real market value is set. And most revert to what we call 'junk rare' pricing. Siege Rhino is a perfect example of that. Once a $5 card while in standard, once we were no longer forced to play that card due to card restrictions, it plummeted to it's current value. Frontier has raised the value of many of those formerly dead cards, but make no mistake, there's a reason people sell before rotation. Modern and Legacy are artificial demands as well, because if Wizards folded up sho next week, their value would plummet also, but so long as the game is played, people trust Wizards will not drastically, devastatingly destroy the value of the cards. These really are not complicated concepts to grasp. They are concepts you deal with in the real world all the time. But for some reason, when it comes to magic, so many people have a sense of entitlement, and they should be able to have whatever they want at no cost. I'd like a Ferrari. How dare they make only a few dozen of each model every year, and mostly sell by invitation! The same mentality that drove Bernie to the brink of the Democratic nomination, this idea that the world owes you a free college education, and student debt forgiveness. Us adults living and working in the real world are incredulous that you think this is how the world works, or that it should work. The world owes you *nothing*. You have to fight for what you get. Reality is going to hit very hard for a lot of kids in high school and college.

  • Matteo Batz

    Hey! Thanks for responding, even after your post got removed. So the questions in my comment weren't really just questions I wanted to know the answer to, i was hoping they would make you think about the basic principles we are talking about here. You are firm in your belief that you won't hit your girlfriend, right? And that your sister shouldn't have hit you. You give your parents the excuse that they 'were taught that way' but you acknowledge you wouldn't return that behavior. So you are pretty clear here, I think. You do think it is actually wrong to hit people. It sounds like what you are saying it isn't excusable to hit people, but that, sometimes, it can actually okay to excuse it when it happens to you. For example, parental discipline. (I disagree with you on this one, since you can't actually tell how your feelings would be for the people who hit you if you weren't also physically and emotionally tied to them for your very survival. But i get that millions of people also think this way) But when it comes to romantic relationships, how is one to tell when it is okay to forgive? You do recognize that the real hard-core abusers look and act just like the 'one time mistake, i hate myself, can you ever forgive me' honestly mortified at their behavior person, right? Im all for forgiveness, but human nature is what it is. People tend to value what the don't have, and tend to devalue the things they do have, especially if they get that thing for free. And forgiveness is given freely. If you are hit by your SO, and forgive them, will they value that above all else, recognize your sacrifice, and live true for the rest of their days? Maybe, maybe not. I think I'm more likely to think not. But what do you think? What's the criteria you use to tell a serious abuser from a 'one time only' SO, from a 'it will probably happen whenever they get really drunk/angry/sad/etc.' type?

  • Braden Wisoky

    There is truth to what you say, in that that is what a number of charismatic, Baptist, Pentecostal, and Evangelical Christian denominations believe. However, that is not a feature of all of Christianity, wherein a condition of forgiveness is a complete renounciation of sinful practices and a sincere effort to right all previous wrongs, making a "death-bed confession" or conversion utterly pointless. It is even less a feature of most other deistic religions and completely contrary to non-deistic religions such as Confucianism and Shinto (where if you're bad, your ancestors will not be kind to you), and Hindu and Buddhism (where if you are bad, you will continue to be doomed to endless reincarnation and your next life will suck even more than this life because of having a bad karma balance). I'm Mormon, and I think getting into heaven takes some hard work at being good, since, while salvation is freely offered to all, the more righteous you are, the better off you will be in heaven. (To summarize, we believe that God will give you what you want... And if you've been bad, being around the God who you've sinned against will not be pleasant due to shame and guilt mainly, so you'd prefer somewhere of lesser glory among people like you. The righteous will be comfortable with God, so will get the best of the best. Thus, it takes work to get any value out of your salvation, even if it's free. For us, hell is defined as being in an eternal state of regret and displeasure, which means that the power of God is forever unavailable and personal progress and improvement is stopped... Because one will be uncomfortable with the demands of further progression)

  • Clinton Nienow

    > If there is no evidence of something existing its illogical to believe that it does. So no, its not logical at all. Except there is evidence of God. It's in logic, experience, the Bible, and such, as I said. The evidence for God is just as real as the evidence for a rainbow. After all, the rainbow has no material existence. It's the refraction of light through water particles. Neither do our thoughts or our memories exist materially. Time doesn't exist materially, and yet it's as real as anything else we deem as real. > Data and science are the best thing we have to find the truth. Do you disagree? I do disagree. Science is one path that leads to the truth, but science can only function in a particular arena. Science is valueless if we are discussing Beethoven's 5th symphony, issues of forgiveness, an environment of peace, or a thousand other realities. Science has it's place, and it's a fantastically beneficial discipline, but to relegate all knowledge to science is surely a mistake. Even your statement of "Data and science are the best thing we have to find the truth" is a philosophical one, based on a value judgment, and it cannot be confirmed with a science experiment. Therefore your statement is self-defeating, because you can't prove the truth of your claim with science alone. Even your statement of "I'm an agnostic atheist" cannot be confirmed or denied by science. Can data and science lead me to discern the truth of your self-identification? Of course not. If data and science are the best thing we have to find the truth, I need to reject all notions of agnosticism and atheism, because they aren't scientifically established or confirmable.

  • Roscoe Wolf

    >I can't understand how your anxiety disappeared when you switched to Lutheranism. It's not that Catholics and Lutherans were saved by two different persons named Jesus or will be judged by two different Gods. I don't think it's that. My guess is that in Lutheranism, there is less emphasis on the mortality of sin because of the whole "faith alone" business. I don't believe they wholly dismiss the idea that faith without works is dead, because they value good works too, but faith is treated more like a lifeline that keeps one in the graces of God. This is the comforting thought. In Catholicism, we believe that the mortality of sin can cost us our salvation, and the more scrupulous of us can have a hard time getting past that. Really, I think the point in believing in the possibility of easily losing our salvation, despite the anxiety that it brings, is that we are meant to be a paschal people. In other words, we believe in the Resurrection. Christ conquering death wasn't just a feat worthy of amazement. It was THE good news that though death comes, He raises us up from it. We should not fear death, neither physically, as the martyrs do, nor spiritually, because our sin, which kills us. The Resurrection is that which removes the fear of the mortal sins that we commit so we are able to approach Christ for forgiveness, and it is what gives us peace. Now, I can't say whether or not Lutheranism teaches this as well, but at the very least, confession has a lesser importance because of the diminished impact of sin in their theology, and that distances the reality of the Resurrection and the sacramentality of confession.

  • Marina McKenzie

    First of all, the exact mechanism by which the Cross saved the world isn't dogmatically defined, and has been debated throughout the centuries. But I don't know if it's useful to think of the Crucifixion itself as *the* act by which God has forgiven sin. The Cross represents the culmination of God's love and was necessary in the plan of salvation, but after all, Christ forgave sins during his ministry as well. Christians believe that God literally *is* Love, that He *is* Mercy, so of course He is able to forgive anyone. However, the problem is that sin hardens peoples' hearts so that they cease to even consider repentance or asking for forgiveness. The drama and power of the image of the Cross has the ability to break through even the hardest heart and turn someone back towards Love. That is why the Crucifixion is so important. As for the problem of evil, I think it's relevant. Why can't God just forgive everyone, even if they don't ask for or want forgiveness? The Sacrament by which our sins are forgiven after Baptism is called the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and I think it's useful to think of things in terms of separation and reconciliation with God. As I said, God is Love, and sin is a perversion of Love. For the ideas of love or sin to have any value, freedom is necessary. For example, if you can only get someone to "love" you by giving them a love potion, then the love is meaningless because it's not freely given. Likewise, if God somehow forced us to be reconciled to him, or in other words, if he forced us to Love, then it wouldn't be a true reconciliation at all. He has to allow the freedom to love rightly as well as the freedom to sin, the freedom to do evil.

  • Johnnie Nitzsche

    Many (perhaps almost all) of us have felt similarly, so you are not alone. You are likely not worse than most of those so-called paragons of virtue. IMO, the one thing that you need to learn is to value yourself for who you are, inconsistently good and strong, so that you can shrug off (mostly) the opinions of others. [It still hurts a little when the parents say barbed words, so my tactic is to minimize the interactions with them.] Most of us need to learn to love ourselves despite our weaknesses / faults, and one of way of describing that is to forgive ourselves, as we are try to forgive others, and hope they forgive us as well, (full disclosure - I don't forgive as fully as I think I should). No one can know exactly how it is to be someone else, so there should be kindness and forgiveness for their human weaknesses. You should not feel you are a terrible influence to anyone; a) is what you are doing something you consider to be wrong? - if so, minimize it for your sake, and b) respect others as adults, able to make their own choices - it is up to them to limit themselves within reason. I am going to try to provide a guideline with an example about food, but it applies to any "appetite." If someone says they are trying to eat better, don't pull out a dessert every time they come over, but if when they come over, they ask if you have something special to eat, then they want to indulge themselves. You could try to support them if they express regret later, by not having dessert in the house the next time they visit, but you should not feel obliged to never have dessert, because this other person has a weakness for sweets.

  • Darryl Terry

    Although I don't agree with it, it can be interpreted as humans being inherently flawed/commit sin and that they all need to seek forgiveness or move towards salvation to an extent. Extremist christians might argue it simply means accepting christianity and saying believing in Christ is all there is but I think there can be more educated interpretations to it such as spiritually bettering yourself or moving to higher standards. It can mean somewhat of following in Christ's ideals/actions and trying to seek redemption of our wrongdoings rather than the traditional meaning that people accept. I think all religions nowadays fall victim to a large base of uneducated believers that promote fundamentalism rather than a metaphorical/spiritual view that can lead to a more complicated meaning flexible to interpretation. Accepting god in Christianity could just mean getting closer to the oneness of god with a different insight, attempting to reach that spiritual enlightenment promoted by other religions yet not limited to someone that accepts just religion. Things start to get skewed and arbitrary at this point but i'm not very religious person and I believe many religions around the world attempt at promoting that same goal of spiritual enlightenment/higher consciousness which is often taken literally by modern day society that either never bothers in reading the actual religious scripts or taking everything literally/face value without interpretation.

  • Jamey Langosh

    > "Animals do X so it must be natural for humans!" (This is often used to justify gay sex, which I support, but the argument that animals do it therefore it's fine for people is bad. Animals publicly mastrubate, rape each other, eat their young and spouses...) I thought this a very bad argument since I was fifteen and heard friends and teachers use it at my liberal, gay-accepting school (and that was really great - this was before Tumblr's gender-of-the-~~month~~day club started, and while the GSA head pushed trans issues, I objected to a male transgender murderer being let into a women's prison and made some other gender critical questions and comments and, while he argued with me about it, I wasn't browbeat into submission, wasn't made a pariah, and continued to attend the GSA without being hated or unwelcome; I never heard of "pansexual" until the end of my senior year, and I had a wide circle of gay friends and trendy liberals). I guess the rationale was supposed to be: if animals do it, it's natural; if it's natural, it's innate; if it's innate, it's unchangeable; it's wrong to judge people for things they can't help; ergo homosexuality is okay. That's flawed in a few places, as you've pointed out one, but also it fails to argue for homosexuality itself as value-neutral, only for a forgiveness of homosexuals. Bisexuals choose to have gay sex when they could have happy straight relationships. If the argument boils down to "don't judge them because they can't help it," then that doesn't cover bisexuals who have gay sex.

  • Lora Herman

    >These verses are a direct quote of what Jesus said when he was speaking to some Pharisees who were trying to trap him. He is speaking about the reason for creating male and female, so that they can be joined together in pairs. Jesus never said two women who love each other cannot get married. Please don't tell lies here. >The whole point of this letter seems to be a call to forgiveness. Forgiveness is not required when no sins have been committed. Marrying someone you love is not a sin, it's a sacrament. I suggest you learn how Christianity works. >If that call is ignored, then yes, church discipline will be required to run its course. Where do you get the idea that a church is a place for discipline? Do you not know anything about Christianity or the teachings of Jesus? >If this person does not wish to be a member of the church, I don't understand the value in attempting to shame the church over it. Who said they didn't want to be a member before this happened? If the church took the time to contact them then they most likely were an active member. This behavior is what pushed them away. >The church is not saying she is not allowed to have her beliefs about what she is doing, just that if she does not wish to believe the same thing the church believes, she can no longer be a member. Jesus did not preach hatred or prejudice. >It is a shame that their private attempts to speak their side have resulted in this attempted public shaming. If something you say in private would be shameful if aired publicly then maybe you should reconsider your words and actions.

  • Kaycee White

    I think you're slightly (*and I mean **only** slightly*) missing the point of Bonnie's character arc this season. While I do find it extremely annoying that the role of Bonnie Bennett is now played by Enzo's Girlfriend, I get why they're doing it. They're trying to break their Bonnie sacrifices herself for everyone trope and now gets to be selfish problem being while she technically isn't sacrificing herself for others, she's sacrificing herself for Enzo, but worse because before it was just her life now it's her identity. However her, not forgiving Stefan was a great move on their part because though Enzo has severely compromised her character that was something that that sent out the message that she will always be Bonnie Bennett and you have to *earn* her forgiveness which takes more than a strategic move that saves her because him killing Cade was all for her benefit. And useless this episode? You make it sound as though if she didn't show up they would have still defeated Cade which is not true. In fact that was actually one of the best things to happen because for once she wasn't the deus ex machina and the boys actually contributed to cleaning up their own mess. Her delivering bad news makes it hard to root for her? I think that's only you because given the way she's treated she's about the easiest to root for. My impression is that you only find value in her character when she's saving people which is something that those who really love her character *not* to do because she always compromises her wellbeing in doing so.

  • Brannon Gibson

    Not a soap box by any means and definitely not confused about the nature of social contracts. You are confused about one critical point within the consequences, forgiveness. You can still uphold your ethical requirements for completing the social contracts Ie: pursuing consequences of the broken contract. That does not take into effect the equally important social contract that each individual must uphold, being civil when faced with opposition of intent. The condemnation of one man will surely effect hundreds if not thousands in this infocentric world. Why is it that we must only focus on the condemning of him for his crimes? Are we not human, do we not all make mistakes? Forgiveness doesn't make his crimes go away, it won't magically make his theology that of a loving and caring sort. It could however spark something in thousands of others that inturn sparks somehting in thousands more. I'm all for upholding contracts, I draft them everyday so it's quite humorous you chose that wording. What I can't stand is letting that contract effect you emotionally to the point it's weight of value is more than your conscious, which is completely bonkers. Sanity is based on perception, values are based on perception, perception changes with emotional imbalance. When you lose control of your faculties to emotion you are not making sound, well thought choices, you are making emotionally driven choices. Which if history has shown by now is not the best method to follow for descision making.

  • Jordy Sporer

    Damn dude, after every comment you make, I think to myself "my opinion of this guy couldn't possibly get any lower". And yet, I see the little envelope go orange, read through another dozen paragraphs or so, and lower my opinion goes. You certainly vomited up a lot of words before doubling back down on your belief of instant execution of any suspected burglar, and all it told me is that you are an intellectual coward and a hypocrite. You try and claim it's the attitude, not the individual you hate, yet have no problem with the individual being gunned down. You make vague platitudes towards the concept of forgiveness, yet believe a bullet is the answer for imagined prior and future crimes. But most disgustingly, you've convinced yourself that you are right because you've imagined an unbelievable fantasy world where you can just wish away everything bad. That's the kind of moral immaturity you should have grown out of as a teenager. "I would be an extremely compassionate guy if everything that ever bothered me could magically be turned off" says the man who clearly doesn't understand compassion, empathy, or the value of a human life. At the very least, you've confirmed that you do have these violent fantasies. That alone tells everyone reading this what they need to know. Yes, I know some of the people here agree with you. But I also have enough faith in humanity to know that many are judging you for the bad person that you are.

  • Aida Johns

    If the borrower is "insolvent," meaning that their liabilities exceed their assets, and if the dollar amount of their negative net worth exceeds their assets by more than the amount of the debt relief, they owe nothing in income taxes on debt relief. In other words, the amount of negative net worth becomes a big exclusion, potentially big enough to erase all taxes due. "Insolvency is the way out," says James Rosa, a CPA and principal at HBK, a firm in Youngstown, Ohio. "If liabilities exceed the fair market value of the assets, the borrower is absolved from paying taxes," adds Gary Bode, a tax accountant in Wilmington, N.C. What's considered a "liability"? The taxpayer can count all the personally guaranteed debt, and loans taken out against assets, in Trump's case buildings, that exceed the value of those assets. The banks wrote down a total of $1.3 billion of Trump's liabilities that year. So it's possible that Trump's total eligible remaining debt, when it came to tax relief, was big enough to eliminate, or substantially lower, the amount of taxes Trump would otherwise owe the IRS. "The amount of tax due is reduced not just by the negative net worth on the recourse part, but also debt forgiveness on non-recourse debt in certain cases," says Mark Luscombe, principal federal tax analyst at Wolters Kluwer Tax and Accounting.

  • Kory Bartell

    This was a really inspirational post, thank you for posting. I keep getting fed up with myself for having to do this process again, and I have my off days. But I have convinced myself that I am still better off than I was before, because I have new awareness and determination that forces me to think about it. Even if I go over my calories, I still am utilizing conscious judgement and am making healthier eating choices as I weigh out the pros and cons. If I miss a gym day, there's still other things that will benefit me, like scheduling out and packing my gym clothes for the following day. Or, for example - at least I am tracking my food and considering things like sugar and macros. It seems lightyears away, despite the gains having happened in the blink of an eye, and it seems distant and impossible. The forgiveness one really speaks to me. I am angry at myself - furious even - that I can't fit into my clothes, that I failed myself and let emotions bring me to this point - that I am letting it obstruct my personal life. When I'm being hypercritical, that is how I lose. I am trying to convey my sense of self-value to other people, and when I feel dismissed due to this setback, I also dismiss myself and give up - when I am the one who has to be strong and pull myself along, despite the others. Thank you again, for posting.

  • Carmelo O'Conner

    I think the authors have a goodresponse to this particular criticism in _Abaddon's Gate_: >Anna suppressed a shudder and said, “Mister Baca, do you believe in God?” >To his credit, he tried not to roll his eyes. He almost succeeded. >“I believe in whatever gets you through the night.” >“Don’t be flip,” Anna said, and was gratified when Bull straightened a little in his walker. In her experience, most strong-willed men had equally strong-willed mothers, and she knew how to hit some of the same buttons. >“Look,” Bull said, trying to reclaim the initiative. Anna spoke over the top of him. >“Forget God for a moment,” she said. “Do you believe in the concept of forgiveness? In the possibility of redemption? In the value of every human life, no matter how tainted or corrupted?” >“Fuck no,” Bull said. “I think it is entirely possible to go so far into the red you can’t ever balance the books.” >“Sounds like the voice of experience. How far have you been?” >“Far enough to know there’s a too damn far.” >“And you’re comfortable being the judge of where that line is? See my [previous post](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheExpanse/comments/5r1zuk/babylons_ashes_some_people_dont_care_for_filip/) for my arguments for why Filip isn't "irredeemable".

  • Kody Zieme

    This is not your fault at all.... You are doing nothing wrong for reasonably reacting to his rotten treatment of you. My BF (2.5 years) cheated on me a bit ago. I found out a similar way in that he left the phone sitting and saw the messages. It wassn't near that number of times or people, but that doesn't really matter other than for shock value. Trust crushed. Anyway, we talked through it, he started therapy (depression and sex addiction), admitted everything (as far as I know...), and I chose to forgive. I didn't care much about the sex, but the hiding it part, that he was capable and willing to hide stuff is what hit me hardest. Still does sometimes, but I am getting past that. Anyway, it's better now and we are trying being somewhat open. Really all that's meant is three-way things for me and a couple sparse encounters for him, but I feel more open and honest with him about most everything really. Anyway, forgiveness worked for me, and I am sort of a doormat at times, but I am happy with that choice like you sound happy with yours. There is no right or wrong in these decisions, but your dude did not handle it all as mine did (e.g. came clean, never once put it on me, an sought help), so it seems like the right call to me. Sorry you experienced that. I will never forget that feeling of finding out.

  • Karolann Marks

    Two come to mind: 1. Trump's use of religion, such as having Melania recite the lord's prayer yesterday. I'm not against religion, or its genuine expressly by politicians when it is in fact genuine, but I don't believe it is genuine from Trump. I need to believe that he is genuine on other subjects, so this one irks me. Remember "two Corinthians" and "I don't do anything bad so I don't have to ask for forgiveness"? Christians understand that a person making that statement does not understand the most basis tenets of Christianity. 2. His use of anecdotal evidence to make a point that illegals are more likely to commit violent crimes. Anecdotal evidence, having individuals tell the story of their lost son or daughter killed by an illegal, is highly emotionally charged, but of zero value in understanding objective reality. Violent crimes are committed by natives too. There are precious few reliable statistics on this subject, establishing whether illegals are or are not, more violent. I find the use of anecdotal evidence, over and over and over, like he did in the Arizona speech on immigration, to be a play to emotional knee jerk reactions that should be beneath the party and his candidacy.

  • Marlen Gleason

    >Have you ever had anyone close to you murdered? My father. > If you did, you would know that you move past any sort of shared social morality with that person. Actually, I didn't. I also asked the judge to be lenient on the murderer. >Wrath ensues and that wrath becomes your own sense of morality. No, it doesn't. My morality was unaffected by the event. My morality is what led to my asking lenience for the killer. If your morality changes from event to event, then you don't have morality. >What others might see as immoral becomes obsolete and forgiveness can take years and I imagine for some people, a lifetime. No, it doesn't. >Also, morality is not an absolute. You are quite right. What was moral for you and what is moral for me is obviously quite different. >This exists everywhere. Which is why we have discussions and argue about it. That is the value in the argument. > Just like that guy thinks nazis are moral and I don't, that other guy thought knocking him out was moral and you don't. Right. And that is why I'm challenging him. Because it is also moral to challenge immorality when you encounter it. Again, that is the value of the argument.

  • Edward Ondricka

    Love = trust + respect + value + acceptance + undivided attention   I've used a gratitude list in the past when it's been especially unclear. It's all about writing out the qualities I have that I value in myself. Qualities, not actions. Ex: I am artistic, rather than, I created this piece of art. I don't have to earn my love through actions. I fall deeper in unconditional love the longer I spend quiet time with myself. * Introspection without judgement, but **with understanding and forgiveness** has been a very valuable tool * Mindfulness has made room for me to foster an **appreciation of life** in its entirety * Appreciation can only grow if I learn to **trust** that I can experience any extreme of life and still find peace stability and comfort in myself * Use patience liberally with yourself. You will not meet all your goals and desires in a day. Figure out why you want what you want, what qualities do you fundamentally desire, and determine how you can live by them in the present * Earn your own trust, don't just follow anybody haphazardly because they sound like they know what they're doing. Trust that you know what you're doing

  • Shyann Botsford

    They have many differences between the two where as Daenerys does not value her word, nor does she see her obligations as binding. Daenerys confuses justice with vengeance as she approaches justice completely arbitrarily, rendering verdicts out of a desire to satisfy the self rather that uphold a unified form of law. did not immediately beg for forgiveness. She sees the state as the extension of herself and cannot separate the two, thus her judgment must always be called into question. Daenerys is a petty, arbitrary tyrant exemplifying some of the worst traits a monarch can have. She views monarchy primarily as a sense of self-gratification, that only her own desires matter (damn what anyone else thinks), and that’s what’s good for her ego is good for the state. She abandons her obligations when they inconvenience her, and now justifies further destruction of the innocent and guilty alike because the throne belongs to her. There’s no high-minded concept here, just: “I deserve to be queen.” But mostly its that Daenerys has dragons and Hillary had an Obama

  • Alfonzo Herman

    No, not a gun, but a threat of almost certain poverty. I'm glad you see there are problems with education, but the problems causing the most crippling, lasting damage to society as a whole are on the finance end of that system. I completely agree on the need for more regulation. Cost reducing measures could help, but outlawing certain types of loans, or not cutting things like Pell grants would help much more. As for the debt thing. Yes, in general principle debts need to be repaid. However, even in bond markets the pricing of debt instruments often includes the fact that the market value of the instruments includes the probability of nonpayment. These probabilities affect the rating and interest rate of the bonds in question, Student debt is different from most debt as it has special legal classification making it nondischargable. It therefore has predatory interest rates and a beefed up rating due to bad legislation. Finally, even the Israelites of the Old Testament had customs and practices concerning the forgiveness of debts. Surely we can consider it?

  • Scottie Bartoletti

    >> sentimental value > >You're *still* not seeing the differences in values. > >You are also missing the point. The point is that you do not know and are not in any position to tell any god what he must do. Says who? >Maybe there can be eternal punishment for breaking the glass she got for her birthday from her grandmother. You don't know!! True. But I know that if it exists, then it is evil and must be opposed. > I don't know either. Maybe her grandmother can get her another one for three dollars. I'm just saying that we do know certain things on Earth absolutely cannot be undone ever, and maybe, I don't know, the same is true in the world beyond. And yet I fail to see how that is relevant. >> And you're still ignoring the concept of forgiveness. > >I haven't ignored anything, but I'm getting there. > >The concept of hell has engaged the world's greatest thinkers for centuries and I doubt you have the gravitas to put that all away. The world's greatest Christian thinkers, perhaps. The greatest thinkers of many other religions find the concept of Hell monstrously evil.

  • Eliza Turcotte

    What always gets me about cheating is that *everyone* at some point in their relationship will be faced with temptation, whether they go out of town, or it's a friend or a co-worker, etc., if you are reasonably attractive and don't have a horrible personality, some day, someone is going to express attraction towards you, whether or not they know that you're in a relationship. Cheating isn't ever an accident. Your boyfriend left town with your trust, and then stomped all over it the first chance he got. Would he give you another chance if you went out of town and slept with a stranger and then immediately confessed and wanted forgiveness? Do you think you can ever trust him again? Don't get caught up in the sunk cost fallacy because you're living with him. He didn't think your relationship was worth anything when he went into the hotel room with another woman, and he probably confessed immediately because he couldn't count on his friends to keep the secret. Now he expects you to value him more than he valued you.

  • Zoey McKenzie

    Yale has a huge option value. If you ever decide to do "something different" from big law, Yale hugely dominates all other places. That includes things that are close to big law (such as boutique litigation in DC or NYC), but that would be out of reach if you're from NYU. If you are hardcore set on big law, Yale is still slightly better than NYU, but not by much, simply because YLS will get you into big law, whereas with NYU you'd have to pay attention to grades etc. Given the income stream you're facing, I wouldn't give the debt too much thought. You only live once, and YLS gives you so many awesome options. You' won't be the same person 10 years from now (or even three years from now), but with NYU+big law, you're kinda stuck. With YLS, you can do anything, and if you really decide to live in poverty and save the penguins, they have an awesome debt forgiveness program. My 2c: Yale all the way. Then again, I've also applied and haven't heard back. So you should probably turn down Yale (New Haven sucks and YLS is overvalued, have I mentioned that?) and leave an extra spot for me :-).

  • Wilfrid Howe

    I have also been married for almost 30 years, and have learned that there is significant value in both forgiveness and a willingness to accept that while conflicts are inevitable, there are times when I've done something that no doubt irked my wife, and she would have had every right to call me out about it - but she hasn't. She, on the other hand, is perfect, and makes no mistakes (if she hypothetically did, it is something we would discuss and resolve in private) I don't know that we are the leader of the free world, but, I think we have a relatively free, **relatively** democratic country. I worry that the haphazard condemnation of the "mainstream media" and the unthinking criticism that "government is the problem" (most often made, it seems, by those seeking to control that 'problem'), creates an atmosphere where a well-qualified candidate for office can seem less attractive than one who has no qualifications for it at all, even to reasonable people.

  • Rogers Kreiger

    I'm not against forgiving people who are wrong, but they have to stop doing it, admit it, and apologize first. I am totally against empathizing with our enemies. Empathy for the enemy causes hesitation on the battlefield. We first and foremost have a responsibility to win the war for the sake of our own children. We must not allow our enemies destroy our children's future, and we certainly should never help them do it. If they ruin your child's future are you going to forgive them? If they work night and day to destroy your people and your nation are you going to empathize with them? Hell no. They've been working on destroying our nation for a hundred years. Now is not the time for empathy and forgiveness. I am a kind, generous, big-hearted person, but I'm not about to let myself get taken advantage of by snakes who would expect me to be nice and play by the rules while they destroy everything I value. They can go to hell for all I care, I'm not going to let them do that to me or my people or my babies or my nation.

  • Pearline Harber

    Most people seem to be suggesting bad things would happen (suicide, murder, the Pope realizing he'd have to apply for jobs with a questionable job history, etc.) l think more good would come out than anything. For one, the entire human race would suddenly agree on something about religion. That would be an immensely powerful thing. Still, morality wouldn't likely change. Assigning meaning and the title "good" to things like love, community, forgiveness, and all that has value to society as a whole. Assigning the title "bad" to murder, rape, and stealing makes sense still because those go against the best interest of society. Atheists aren't that different from theists. They have morals, and continue to contribute to society without the belief in a God. So, everyone else would learn to do the same.

  • Tamia Collins

    When I was in middle school, our youth pastor did the same thing. I was really close to him, trusted him, and helped me through some really tough places. He ran away with my small group leaders wife, so it really affected our group especially hard. I was devestated. It was one of the few points in my life that I've felt that deeply betrayed, and I alternated between sorrow and anger. It shook the whole church and everyone was upset. But I'lol never forget the senior pastor. He came to talk with us, and he said (to;dr), "what he did was wrong, and it hurts, and he can never lead here again. But, we forgive him. And he is welcome back." Processing through this really taught me a lot about grace and forgiveness, which became invaluable later in life. I hope one day I run into him again so I can tell him I forgive him in person and that I still remember and value everything he taught me. I'll be praying for you.

  • Wilburn Roberts

    Do you really think so? After all the discussions over frame rates I've seen here this games seems to be getting, while not a pass, more forgiveness than many other games have or would. I think both things are healthy. People should be aware of the issues this game has and they should be aware of the implications of those issues on the Switch. At the same time, I think it's good that people can still enjoy the game and see great value in it despite those issues. Personally I would like to see more people acknowledge the technical problems of games while I would also be extremely gratified to see those problems put in context of the overall experience of the game. I used to think that Nintendo games were scored too high in light of technical problems, but now I'm entertaining the idea that other games are scored to low for their technical issues without the overall game being taken into enough consideration.

  • Wilfred Hammes

    These verses are a direct quote of what Jesus said when he was speaking to some Pharisees who were trying to trap him. He is speaking about the reason for creating male and female, so that they can be joined together in pairs. The whole point of this letter seems to be a call to forgiveness. If that call is ignored, then yes, church discipline will be required to run its course. If this person does not wish to be a member of the church, I don't understand the value in attempting to shame the church over it. The church is not saying she is not allowed to have her beliefs about what she is doing, just that if she does not wish to believe the same thing the church believes, she can no longer be a member. It is a shame that their private attempts to speak their side have resulted in this attempted public shaming.

  • Aliya O'Kon

    > sentimental value You're *still* not seeing the differences in values. You are also missing the point. The point is that you do not know and are not in any position to tell any god what he must do. Maybe there can be eternal punishment for breaking the glass she got for her birthday from her grandmother. You don't know!! I don't know either. Maybe her grandmother can get her another one for three dollars. I'm just saying that we do know certain things on Earth absolutely cannot be undone ever, and maybe, I don't know, the same is true in the world beyond. > And you're still ignoring the concept of forgiveness. I haven't ignored anything, but I'm getting there. The concept of hell has engaged the world's greatest thinkers for centuries and I doubt you have the gravitas to put that all away.

  • Irving Turcotte

    I would say Ross' value is more situation-dependant than any other WR in the class, just because of his potential ceiling. He needs a big arm and swingin' johnson at the QB position to really take advantage of his entire skillset. Bigger players like Williams and Davis have a bit more "forgiveness" built in just because of their radius and playstyle - being able to remain effective even in a more conservative offense. Whereas if you put John Ross in KC, you're maybe using about 50% of what he offers because of your limitations under center. If he DOES get that placement though - I have no qualms attaching at least a TY Hilton ceiling to him though. Been my star guy for a long time now.

  • Zack Johnson

    Don't forget to calculate the time value of the money you don't have to pay towards your loans each month due to lower monthly payments. Also, that lower monthly payment will also increase the amount of interest you'll have forgiven after the ten years are up. Loan forgiveness and the accompanying lower loan payments are typically worth a lot more than most people realize. Your wife will be going through her residency and possibly a fellowship anyways, so I think you're mostly worried about whether the three years of working at a non-profit versus something more lucrative would be worth it. In that case, I think the answer definitely leans more towards the non-profit and forgiveness.

  • Kim Yundt

    justice is simply equity. people and cultures have different values and they place those values on the scales. some cultures place punishment on those scales, some do not. some place rehabilitation on the scales. some place redistribution of culturally valued products on the scales. i dont know if you are american but in some colonies we brought with us the idea of a penitentiary which is our modern prison system. the penitentiary was a place for penitence. a place where those who had done wrong could contemplate their sin and ask forgiveness of god. the modern system is built on the idea of rehabilitation. yes maybe its not always used that way but its right under our noses if we ever grow up enough as a culture to value that form of justice again.

  • Jon Skiles

    I think it would depend on the person, and the situation. I think I would walk away. You need to value yourself more. I'd never cheat on someone. I'd end the relationship. I'd be honest with the person. I'd respect them enough to do that. I'd want the same in return. I get people screw up, and forgiveness is an awesome thing. At the same time if you love someone, so much your willing to work it out and move past this. You have to ask yourself would they do that for you? Nine times out of ten the answer is no. Your situation might be different. My only advice is be cautious. Also don't give up on finding love. It took me a while, but I eventually me someone. I let her in and now I'm happier than I thought I'd ever be.

  • Ethyl Hoeger

    I was picking up my girlfriend from the bus stop on Nelson street last month or so and some lady backed up into my car. Her husband tried to sweet talk his way into repairing my car outside of insurance. My damage was insane as it broke the headlight damaged the bumper, TBar, foam, and bent the hood. I told him I have to go to the police and insurance, he turns around and lies to his insurance and the cops and says I rear ended him. I ended up getting 50% of my cars value and accident forgiveness bailed me out but that pretty much means as long as I live in Brampton I have to stick with that company. I have the guys number still but I don't want to risk a harassment charge but I wish he gets what's coming to him.

  • Eric Schowalter

    The [Eveny](http://russiasperiphery.blogs.wm.edu/russias-north-siberia-and-the-steppe/general/eveny-2/) are a little farther north or east. This was funny: >Their beliefs in the spiritual and naturalistic world transcend their idea of westernized religion and this includes a mystical belief in bears. When it becomes necessary for the nimat to kill a bear, the meticulous handling of the corpse exhibits its majestic value. Members of the hunting band ask the bear for forgiveness for having had to kill the creature and will in certain cases try to convince the bear that it was the Russians who were responsible.

  • Christina Kassulke

    I didn't click the link, but I do want to add that this sort of counterintuitive finding is quite common. Models of emotion in which we 'let off steam' or 'find an outlet' for negative emotions don't hold up. Anecdotally I do think those activities can have value in select situations, but the research shows that it's much more important to build habits of not being angry than it is to find a regular ' release' for anger, for example. I also know of some research that forgiveness has various heath benefits. So overall doing the Jedi shit seems good for you, whereas doing the Sith shit ultimately is detrimental and a slippery slope.

  • Tad Botsford

    Uh...maybe 'up'? I'm not too impressed with either the modern left or modern right. Both strike me as unreasonably authoritarian, trying to impose their arbitrary models of 'appropriate' behavior onto society. I consider myself more of a libertarian, not in the modern right-wing 'taxation is theft' sense but in the traditional lockean sense. (The fun part is that as a consequence the liberals tend to accuse me of being horribly right-wing and the conservatives tend to accuse me of being horribly left-wing. :P) As for empathy and forgiveness, I'm skeptical that either one has any important philosophical value.

  • Josiane Blanda

    I think your point will be missed by most - but you're spot on. I don't begrudge ANY immigrant for coming to the US, making a better life for themselves and their family, and becoming a contributing member of society. I just ask that they do it legally, or if they failed to do so at the beginning, that they self announce, ask for forgiveness and show how they've been great community members. To me, this would show recognition and penance for their crime, but also show to the nay sayers that they are value added. If you continue to hide your crime, it will catch up with you - even if you've been one of the good guys since then.

  • Kris Lockman

    Hey OP, Destiny Stat Bars/Numbers are not accurate representations of real in-game values. They are just numbers to make bars that can be quickly compared in a UI that is very cramped for space. * Real Numbers: 0.80s TTK (3 burst) -> 0.86 (7.7% increase) * Alternatively, the devs said 1 extra frame (0.033s) between each burst, which would make 0.866s Note: It's probably still a tiny bit faster than Hawksaw (0.87), so you can consider the value of Range, Missed Shot Forgiveness, Body Shot TTK against the slight fraction of optimal TTK.

  • Savannah Turner

    Eh, I have a mind like a steel trap and I know I'd never have been able to move past it if my ex-husband had had an affair. One of my closest friends also had her divorce final within 90 days of discovering her husband's affair. Four people isn't a very big sample size. Though, I wonder if my inflexibility is because he was absolutely shit about dealing with problems and has never in his life issued a proper apology ... And, wait, are your women friends who are so cavalier about forgiveness the ones that had the affairs? Hmm, maybe cheaters by default don't value loyalty as much as people who ... do.

  • Deshaun Schowalter

    No one can serve God perfectly - not as long as we still have our inherited sinful tendancy. If we are repentant and try hard to do what is right according to God's word we will receive forgiveness. Sin is the reason we grow old and die. We may attain salvation, undeservedly by meeting the requirements but it will not be until the kingdom takes governance over the earth that the full value of Jesus ransom sacrific will be exercised. That is in the paradise we will grow to perfection with everlasting life in view.

  • Trenton Reichel

    is this why unemployable students demonstrate in the streets for forgiveness of their student loans? because "they'll make more money" you're still stuck on old propaganda that says "if average lifetime earnings for a college grad exceed that of a non-college grad by $1,000,000 then the education is worth $1,000,000 up front." that's just an ad campaign, and has no mathematical basis in reality. it ignores the time value of money, ignores the median versus the mean, and ignores opportunity costs

  • Chaya Schiller

    The only one this applies to is the government itself. Writing down is an estimation of what they think they'll be able to collect. Each individual loan is still owed (and these are government loans only). This figure represents the value of the loans that the government anticipates it won't be able to collect (because the people owing it are dead, fled the country, went bankrupt and such). This isn't a debt forgiveness program, it's a routine accounting adjustment.

  • Rudy DuBuque

    I'm petty sure the "...but he's a criminal so I don't feel bad for him" is what hung you among the enlightened Star Trek fan demo. Literally every single Starfleet character in Trek would in fact feel bad for him despite his criminality. They would treat his condition and we the audience would learn a lesson about the value of empathy. Compassion and understanding and forgiveness and sympathy were pretty big goddamn themes. There was certainly more than one good and noble con.

  • Lila Bernier

    I found that identifying my "core values" worked to help with this kind of thought process. I may have similar personality traits to you, but while I value curiosity, service, and compassion, you might value creativity, humor, and... Forgiveness? Idk haha. Point is, people. With ADHD act similarly, with good scientific reasons, but that doesn't mean our key motivators or goals are the same.

  • Lorine Leannon

    Take your time. Maybe start writing your thoughts down. It'll help organize some of the mental chaos you're going through. In the meantime, try and take a break from your friends. You need time to organize your thoughts. Plus, it'll give you a chance to see how much they value you as friend. If they keep trying to get your forgiveness, maybe it's worth it to forgive them and they honestly just made a stupid mistake. If they blow you off, maybe they aren't really good friends.

  • Alessandro Fritsch

    While this is a personal benefit to forgiveness, the reason *why* we should forgive is because we love the person who has done us wrong. If we're just forgiving to help ourselves, rather than the person who wronged us, we aren't doing forgiveness right. This is one of the hardest parts of Christianity - Jesus knew that it would be which is why he placed so much value on loving our enemies.

  • Helga Ruecker

    When she didn't worry about taking her medication because when she was off it, I was the only one who she yelled at and took things out on. Way too many arguments ended with me asking if she forgot it because she would start getting upset over something unimportant I did or didn't do. I thought she didn't value herself so needed forgiveness and to be taken care of. Turns out, she didn't value me.

  • Caden Kassulke

    Considering Jesus spoke in parable a good deal of his ministry, you cannot just take this particular bit on face value. What was the part of the Bible right before this? It's about judging others. And after this? the gates, narrow and wide. Why would Christ talk about forgiveness and salvation but interrupt this with a "yeah, God will give you material stuff too ... just ask."

  • Letha Robel

    So death penalty for any crime that can't be compensated? If the glass had sentimental value, death. And you're *still* ignoring the concept of forgiveness.

  • Jocelyn Rutherford

    I've tried debunking several statements about PizzaGate before, but never this many. Hold on tight! > The pedo symbols on the two businesses next to and across from comet, one of which works with "at risk youth", are a coincidence. So, I looked it up and this is what ~~fake~~ "alternative" news websites are claiming: >Speaking of at-risk youth, right across the street from Comet Ping Pong is non-profit called Terosol that specializes in “homeless and runaway youth.” Their homepage features a picture of Hillary Clinton. It also features their logo — a heart within a heart — which the FBI lists as a symbol for “girl lover”. First of all, Terosol is **not** a "non-profit that specializes in at-risk youth." It's actually a Bistro & artisan gallery. It describes it self as an "Intimate cafe featuring traditional French cuisine & a boutique selling artisan handcrafts." [Source](https:[email protected].9551035,-77.0701924,20.1z/data=!4m5!3m4!1s0x89b7c9b9988325db:0x4cfe7adb0fcd6d8!8m2!3d38.9551394!4d-77.070151) The claim that it has a picture of a heart in a heart as their logo is also wrong. [Here](http://www.terasolartisans.com/bg-1-25543.jpeg?u=2782170726) is the above portion of their homepage. Just flowery stuff. But no heart-in-a-heart. They [used to have](https://archive.is/IQwRH) a heart in a heart symbol, but removed it from their homepage between November 6 and 14, judging from the archive links. But the heart in a heart symbol is actually quite commonly used. [Just look.](https://www.google.ca/search?q=heart+in+a+heart&client=safari&rls=en&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi47sTqsNjQAhVK64MKHWTBDUoQ_AUICCgB&biw=1280&bih=739#imgrc=ru2okqLngkcn3M%3A) Just because it's been used by a few pedos doesn't magically mean you can retroactively call all those who have some form of that image pedophiles. They most likely removed it due to the massive amount of backlash by, uh, "concerned" citizens. The only true statement is that their homepage has a picture of Hillary. There's another picture of Madeleine Albright too. This is most likely for advertising purposes, like "hey, look, famous people come here!" There are also claims that a charity across the shop, http://beyondborders.net, is funded by the CF. I was unable to find any evidence of this. Now, for the second of the two businesses. From the same "alternative" news website, it claims: >Incredibly, another pizza place on the same block, Besta pizza, also has a pedophile symbol as their logo, in this case, “boy lover.” That logo is a triangular logo, since pizzas are triangular. Google "triangular logos" are you'll find many such logos. > The pedophilic artwork created by Sasha Lord for rock performances at Comet... I looked this up, and there's more info [here](http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/arts/music/blog/13081294/what-comet-ping-pongs-show-posters-say-about-its-music): >“Post(er) Apocalypse,” a show at Wild Hand Workspace in Brookland, surveys a mess of flyers from the past two years of shows at Comet. The prints represent a collaboration between ubiquitous D.C. promoter Sasha Lord, who’s made the restaurant a destination on the local-music circuit, and Magickbat (aka Jourdan Betette), the artist Lord has tapped as her go-to flyer designer for most of Comet’s shows since 2012. So, Sasha Lord is someone who basically creates posters for these performances and organizes them. Here is how she describes herself on her website: >SASHA LORD IS A BOOKER AND PROMOTER WITH A GOOD EAR AND EYE WORKING WITH EMERGING TO LEGENDARY BANDS IN THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA Here is some of her poster art: http://www.sashalordpresents.com/poster-art/ It seems completely normal to me. > Sasha Lord working with "at risk" girls in juvenile detention is a coincidence. Actually, she graduated with a degree in literally working with at-risk populations: >Sasha Lord worked at Black Cat 2001-2005, graduated from George Mason University in 2005 in **Therapeutic Recreation specializing in working with At-Risk Populations.** In 2003, Sasha Lord was a outdoor facilitator at Hemlock Overlook specializing in At-Risk Populations. I mean, she spent years studying for this, so it doesn't seem strange. > The painting, now removed, of a guy jizzing while playing ping pong with an alien and the words "Shut up and Fuck" was inappropriate for an all ages establishment, but these guys are just sex crazed, not pedophiles. That doesn't really indicate anything to do with pedophillia, I agree. > Having a sleepover at a pizza restaurant involving both children and adults isn't that unusual (?) It's a community place. That seems normal. > Tony Podesta's art collection, which specializes in images of children, babies, abused children, dead children, cannibalism, pigs, pig-human hybrids, and photographs of naked kids.. I debunked this already: https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/5fwsvd/this_was_just_promoted_aka_sponsored_on_my/dap7zsm/ https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/5fwsvd/this_was_just_promoted_aka_sponsored_on_my/dapl23k/ https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/5fwsvd/this_was_just_promoted_aka_sponsored_on_my/dapwbt2/ > John Podesta, who has a picture portraying cannibalism in his office, and used to have an image of a butchered pig..... I found a primary source for this and I think it speaks for itself. Read it: https://books.google.ca/books?id=HsCh8Mj2XlYC&pg=PA19130&lpg=PA19130&dq=podesta+butchering+pigs&source=bl&ots=6FuM67vyL8&sig=Q_1B4FiVBuwApjZAPko25X8lxFU&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwja8LCct9jQAhVK94MKHfuoCoQQ6AEIHDAA#v=onepage&q=podesta%20butchering%20pigs&f=false > Marina Abramovic, whose "art" revolves around satanism, pedophilia and cannibalism, is just an attention whore. Shock art is her gimmick. I believe Podesta declined to go to a dinner with her. > It is a coincidence that the painter Scott G. Brooks, associated with the Comet crew, paints pictures of babies and toddlers and half-pig-half human babies and toddlers being tortured, sexually abused, and fed excrement [warning NSFL] I don't see how Brooks is connected to Comet. > Tony's close life long friendship with pedophile "Denny" Hastert is a coincidence.... If Tony was involved, then he would have been arrested too. > The giant sub-basement Tony created in his home is for art just like he said, not anything sinister. OK. > Obama moving two doors down is irrelevant. No one suspects Obama of anything. He's moving near Comet? > The food references in the emails... Perhaps they were talking about drugs or escorts. No, just food. The food references need context. Debunked one such reference here: https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/5fwsvd/this_was_just_promoted_aka_sponsored_on_my/dao5djh/ https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/5fwsvd/this_was_just_promoted_aka_sponsored_on_my/daobonr/ https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/5fwsvd/this_was_just_promoted_aka_sponsored_on_my/daoc8cz/ > Amanda Kleinman, who performs at Comet and is listed first on their "friends" list, is fascinated by pedophilia and likes to joke about pedophilia and reference it in her music videos to provoke people.... Oh come on. Just look: [Reverse Speech of Amanda Kleinman Speaking INSIDE COMET PIZZA](https://player.fm/series/audioboom-1284543/reverse-speech-of-amanda-kleinman-speaking-inside-comet-pizza) This is ridiculous. > That woman investigating the Clinton Foundation and child trafficking in Haiti committed suicide... Or its possible that since Clinton is a well-known figure, the thousands of random people "investigating her" and any of their deaths get mistaken for the Clintons have "killed" them. Snopes: [Haiti Mongers](http://www.snopes.com/monica-petersen-killed/) Here's what I'm having a hard time getting past: > Jimmy's Instagram. ..... Meh, nothing old people I know don't say. Some of it is weird, but would you call a mother telling her baby "Oh, you look so cute I could just eat you up!" a pedophile too? Of course not. > That fucking mole on Tony's forehead. .... I already debunked this here: https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/5fwsvd/this_was_just_promoted_aka_sponsored_on_my/daohjmq/ https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/5fwsvd/this_was_just_promoted_aka_sponsored_on_my/daojibv/ https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/5fwsvd/this_was_just_promoted_aka_sponsored_on_my/daombcy/ > Tamera Luzzatto referring to "raw and uncut" time with a toddler. Luzzatto was Hillary's chief of staff.... In one of the emails about a pool party, she refers to three kids as "entertainment" and mentions their specific ages.... The raw and uncut time is yet another one of the countless things that are so vague anyone can twist them into meaning anything. As for the "entertainment" sentence, keep in mind she was talking about her own kids and was referring to their visit to a farm. Are kids entertaining at farms? Yes or no? I can personally attest to kids being entertaining at Apple farms! Vague references to food + no context to us outside observers + http://[Pareidolia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareidolia) + Backmasking fallacy + hatred of Clinton/Soros conveniently expressed with this made-up controversy + winding down of U.S. elections and thus no boogeyman to bash anymore + narcissistic individuals looking to boost their egos by pretending they're "saving children" =#PizzaGate As a sidenote, something you all should read: >[Backmasking has been a controversial topic in the United States since the 70s and popular during the 80s and 90s, when allegations from Christian groups of its use for Satanic purposes were made against prominent rock musicians, leading to record-burning protests and proposed anti-backmasking legislation by state and federal governments.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backmasking) You Americans are one of a kind. You just never learn.

  • Betsy Stanton

    https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46090 >Seems like someone in Bernie’s camp has someone leaking info to the Clinton Camp. The information in here is too specific to be simple strategy speculation. “If any of this is new news, then use it. If it's old news to you, then I apologize for repeating. I just received info indicating that: BS is going to hit Rahm hard in Chicago tonight in an effort to link his AA unpopularity and trust issues to HRC” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46113 >Discussing why Clinton Church photo op is not going to work to make people trust her “There is a complete misunderstanding by the campaign of the nature and gravity of her problems, and these things make her problem worse, at a time when she is in a very dangerous and precarious position of high and growing distrust.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46164 >“Prime Minister Davutoglu will be in New York from 26 to 30 September to attend the United Nations General Assembly and he is hoping to pay a courtesy call on Ms. Clinton during one of those days in New York. This meeting request comes from Mr. Davutoglu in light of his prior friendship with Secretary Clinton dating back to the time when they were colleagues as Secretary of State/Foreign Minister.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46168 >Subject: Treasury “I spoke with Tim last night and this morning. He confirmed that, if offered, he would be honored to accept.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46177 >Written in Taiwanese? Translated by Google Translate - There is a doc attachment - I did not open it Taiwan judicial shame Bian Zhen money laundering case, the world view of the strange column. Money bribes to be bailed, money laundering innocent Xuan. Do not have to pay bail is not also, anti-sue in vain. Judge power to expand the emperor Man, detective indemnity difficult handling. Procuratorial judge put, under the guise of human rights judicial practice! People's crime to find public relations, no money to note the death. Rich and powerful ghost mill, so the heart in the judge. Dark secretly full court, have nothing to fear lawyers when. Taiwan's judiciary has all changed, not like non-class spots. Cheap and life-saving a line, the body of the patent body. Since the multi-Wei Mo Zhan trouble, good and evil is clearly difficult. Now like a strange Taiwan, cold wait to be changed. Cause and effect of reincarnation is not bad change, retribution Hell fried body. Heaven cover the vast world, the sun and the moon shining mirror hanging. Clearly good and bad books, ghosts to punish strict. Demon 俇 no long-term, heavenly world at any time. Taiwan's judicial shame, earnestly hope heaven wash clean. Ching Ming Cheng Ching bright world, everywhere fair island of security. Note: sigh Chen Shui-bian bribery case, the trial judge Zhou Zhanchun and so blatantly lawless, trampled on justice, could not be punished. The defense lawyers are also in breach of the law and can not punish them. Deeply distressed and the title. The Zen question 200/12/19 (in Taipei City Yang Xin vegetarian) https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46183 >Discussing Routers Video Questions “for the record, i am also in support of not naming names” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46184 >Steve has sent directly 1 millioon dollars to the c4. There is encouragement that if I set up a meeting with tom and susan and walk through the fundraising operation and the split with them we can get on the same page and will bring some good will. Tom needs an additional 1 million in the next few weeks. We can send it all now, or send $5000000 now and the rest in the first couple weeks of january. If this happens we believe steve would move money to the 527 and in addition would get the money moved for the others he wants to bring into this endevour. We also feel it send a strong message and will help with any press inquiries if we show contributions to both messaging and field (we are sending 1 million to av) We need to move on this quickly beecause I have the accountant next wed and thurs. https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46187 >Subject: Big picture legal discussion with HRC She mentioned again yesterday having a big picture strategic discussion about key legal issues. I was thinking we could do a call about the four items below to kick things off (or could be in person). Cheryl and Marc--thoughts? 1. Superpac interaction (fundraising, possible avenues for interaction like issue ads) 2. Transition period operating rules 3. Primary money strategy 4. Options for leveraging party money https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46192 >”Thousands of times every month, we give > governments information about Apple customers and devices, in response to warrants and other forms of legal process. We have a team that responds to those requests 24 hours a day. Strong encryption does not eliminate Apple’s ability to give law enforcement meta-data or any of a number of other very useful categories of data.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46199 >”I just received a call from a close friend of wjcs who said that cvc told one of the bush 43 kids that she is conducting an internal investigation of money within the foundation from cgi to the foundation. The bush kid then told someone else who then told an operative within the republican party. I have heard more and more chatter of cvc and bari talking about lots of what is going on internally to people. Not smart.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46202 John loses his phone >“i lost my phone this am. It must have fallen off my belt getting in or out of the cab. I used Diamond and had a 4:45 pick up at Brandywine. Can you call Diamond Cab and see if the cab driver found it. They should be able to figure it out given the pickup. The receipt says #Diamond 444 C502” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46229 >“the council for a puberty administration and pathological liars you have no voice old ugly liar yourself . go home and stay away from adults - you are real real sick anything to so with socialism /communism is very perverted and indoctrinated and education is void if you are already sick as hell” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46256 >“Then I am all for it. Keep our boot on this asshole's neck.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46276 >”Is everyone comfortable w her saying "Yo Mama”?” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46291 >*See the attached spreadsheet* “Here is the list of top $1M + prospects. I have sent it before, but it seems you never get it. please let me know that you received it.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46301 >“Frankly, John, I am so fed up with the kind of innuendo included in The Atlantic story, I thought I would make a point in the media inquiry forwarded below, though I will not actually write about it publicly. Brent” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46316 >”I believe they were deliberately fucking with us, so I thought it made sense to release the statement (WITH Mark and Ben and Jim and Phil guidance).” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46335 >Town Halls are easy when everything has been planned out in advance *See the attachment* https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46421 >Forwarded news article with a few comments Wall Street Journal article about Clinton Foundation taking foreign government donations https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46430 >“I have to agree. I think there WJC may have some real serious conflicts if we start to make too many rules. It may be time to update some procedures but we can not ignore the nexus of WJC's life.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46438 >”Our understanding is tha POLITICO is working on a number of articles that touch upon the foundation. A number of the questions also touch upon State. There appears to be particular interest in Haim Saban. Below are 3 such questions.”…”got it - will revert” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46441 >John P - “I have been thinking about him for Trump role too. I think he's heavier than Miner. P.S. I have not broached this with him wanted to get your take first” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/47019 “It seems to me that if directly asked whether it was a mistake she may actually say it was. She often says she absolutely won't do something and then does it. Not always but often. I would advise to stay at her and schedule multiple interviews soon! Lock her in. Eventually she will sound like a human.” Also, if you missed them here are the dumps from previous days: https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiLeaks/comments/59yb5m/ive_gone_through_2000_emails_in_the_past_2_days/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/The_Donald/comments/5a3mvg/ive_been_through_all_of_todays_day_22_emails_here/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/DNCleaks/comments/5aa93j/ive_gone_through_all_of_todays_emails_here_are/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiLeaks/comments/5aeirb/ive_been_going_through_1000_emails_a_day_here_is/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiLeaks/comments/5amtb9/ive_been_going_through_1000_emails_per_day_here/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiLeaks/comments/5ascyh/ive_been_going_through_1000_emails_a_day_here_is/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/The_Donald/comments/5b0yr4/looking_at_1000_emails_per_day_here_are_the_most/?ref=share&ref_source=link

  • Tara Kuhlman

    https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46090 >Seems like someone in Bernie’s camp has someone leaking info to the Clinton Camp. The information in here is too specific to be simple strategy speculation. “If any of this is new news, then use it. If it's old news to you, then I apologize for repeating. I just received info indicating that: BS is going to hit Rahm hard in Chicago tonight in an effort to link his AA unpopularity and trust issues to HRC” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46113 >Discussing why Clinton Church photo op is not going to work to make people trust her “There is a complete misunderstanding by the campaign of the nature and gravity of her problems, and these things make her problem worse, at a time when she is in a very dangerous and precarious position of high and growing distrust.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46164 >“Prime Minister Davutoglu will be in New York from 26 to 30 September to attend the United Nations General Assembly and he is hoping to pay a courtesy call on Ms. Clinton during one of those days in New York. This meeting request comes from Mr. Davutoglu in light of his prior friendship with Secretary Clinton dating back to the time when they were colleagues as Secretary of State/Foreign Minister.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46168 >Subject: Treasury “I spoke with Tim last night and this morning. He confirmed that, if offered, he would be honored to accept.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46177 >Written in Taiwanese? Translated by Google Translate - There is a doc attachment - I did not open it Taiwan judicial shame Bian Zhen money laundering case, the world view of the strange column. Money bribes to be bailed, money laundering innocent Xuan. Do not have to pay bail is not also, anti-sue in vain. Judge power to expand the emperor Man, detective indemnity difficult handling. Procuratorial judge put, under the guise of human rights judicial practice! People's crime to find public relations, no money to note the death. Rich and powerful ghost mill, so the heart in the judge. Dark secretly full court, have nothing to fear lawyers when. Taiwan's judiciary has all changed, not like non-class spots. Cheap and life-saving a line, the body of the patent body. Since the multi-Wei Mo Zhan trouble, good and evil is clearly difficult. Now like a strange Taiwan, cold wait to be changed. Cause and effect of reincarnation is not bad change, retribution Hell fried body. Heaven cover the vast world, the sun and the moon shining mirror hanging. Clearly good and bad books, ghosts to punish strict. Demon 俇 no long-term, heavenly world at any time. Taiwan's judicial shame, earnestly hope heaven wash clean. Ching Ming Cheng Ching bright world, everywhere fair island of security. Note: sigh Chen Shui-bian bribery case, the trial judge Zhou Zhanchun and so blatantly lawless, trampled on justice, could not be punished. The defense lawyers are also in breach of the law and can not punish them. Deeply distressed and the title. The Zen question 200/12/19 (in Taipei City Yang Xin vegetarian) https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46183 >Discussing Routers Video Questions “for the record, i am also in support of not naming names” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46184 >Steve has sent directly 1 millioon dollars to the c4. There is encouragement that if I set up a meeting with tom and susan and walk through the fundraising operation and the split with them we can get on the same page and will bring some good will. Tom needs an additional 1 million in the next few weeks. We can send it all now, or send $5000000 now and the rest in the first couple weeks of january. If this happens we believe steve would move money to the 527 and in addition would get the money moved for the others he wants to bring into this endevour. We also feel it send a strong message and will help with any press inquiries if we show contributions to both messaging and field (we are sending 1 million to av) We need to move on this quickly beecause I have the accountant next wed and thurs. https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46187 >Subject: Big picture legal discussion with HRC She mentioned again yesterday having a big picture strategic discussion about key legal issues. I was thinking we could do a call about the four items below to kick things off (or could be in person). Cheryl and Marc--thoughts? 1. Superpac interaction (fundraising, possible avenues for interaction like issue ads) 2. Transition period operating rules 3. Primary money strategy 4. Options for leveraging party money https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46192 >”Thousands of times every month, we give > governments information about Apple customers and devices, in response to warrants and other forms of legal process. We have a team that responds to those requests 24 hours a day. Strong encryption does not eliminate Apple’s ability to give law enforcement meta-data or any of a number of other very useful categories of data.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46199 >”I just received a call from a close friend of wjcs who said that cvc told one of the bush 43 kids that she is conducting an internal investigation of money within the foundation from cgi to the foundation. The bush kid then told someone else who then told an operative within the republican party. I have heard more and more chatter of cvc and bari talking about lots of what is going on internally to people. Not smart.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46202 John loses his phone >“i lost my phone this am. It must have fallen off my belt getting in or out of the cab. I used Diamond and had a 4:45 pick up at Brandywine. Can you call Diamond Cab and see if the cab driver found it. They should be able to figure it out given the pickup. The receipt says #Diamond 444 C502” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46229 >“the council for a puberty administration and pathological liars you have no voice old ugly liar yourself . go home and stay away from adults - you are real real sick anything to so with socialism /communism is very perverted and indoctrinated and education is void if you are already sick as hell” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46256 >“Then I am all for it. Keep our boot on this asshole's neck.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46276 >”Is everyone comfortable w her saying "Yo Mama”?” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46291 >*See the attached spreadsheet* “Here is the list of top $1M + prospects. I have sent it before, but it seems you never get it. please let me know that you received it.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46301 >“Frankly, John, I am so fed up with the kind of innuendo included in The Atlantic story, I thought I would make a point in the media inquiry forwarded below, though I will not actually write about it publicly. Brent” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46316 >”I believe they were deliberately fucking with us, so I thought it made sense to release the statement (WITH Mark and Ben and Jim and Phil guidance).” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46335 >Town Halls are easy when everything has been planned out in advance *See the attachment* https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46421 >Forwarded news article with a few comments Wall Street Journal article about Clinton Foundation taking foreign government donations https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46430 >“I have to agree. I think there WJC may have some real serious conflicts if we start to make too many rules. It may be time to update some procedures but we can not ignore the nexus of WJC's life.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46438 >”Our understanding is tha POLITICO is working on a number of articles that touch upon the foundation. A number of the questions also touch upon State. There appears to be particular interest in Haim Saban. Below are 3 such questions.”…”got it - will revert” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46441 >John P - “I have been thinking about him for Trump role too. I think he's heavier than Miner. P.S. I have not broached this with him wanted to get your take first” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/47019 “It seems to me that if directly asked whether it was a mistake she may actually say it was. She often says she absolutely won't do something and then does it. Not always but often. I would advise to stay at her and schedule multiple interviews soon! Lock her in. Eventually she will sound like a human.” Also, if you missed them here are the dumps from previous days: https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiLeaks/comments/59yb5m/ive_gone_through_2000_emails_in_the_past_2_days/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/The_Donald/comments/5a3mvg/ive_been_through_all_of_todays_day_22_emails_here/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/DNCleaks/comments/5aa93j/ive_gone_through_all_of_todays_emails_here_are/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiLeaks/comments/5aeirb/ive_been_going_through_1000_emails_a_day_here_is/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiLeaks/comments/5amtb9/ive_been_going_through_1000_emails_per_day_here/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiLeaks/comments/5ascyh/ive_been_going_through_1000_emails_a_day_here_is/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/The_Donald/comments/5b0yr4/looking_at_1000_emails_per_day_here_are_the_most/?ref=share&ref_source=link

  • Dorothea Marvin

    https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46090 >Seems like someone in Bernie’s camp has someone leaking info to the Clinton Camp. The information in here is too specific to be simple strategy speculation. “If any of this is new news, then use it. If it's old news to you, then I apologize for repeating. I just received info indicating that: BS is going to hit Rahm hard in Chicago tonight in an effort to link his AA unpopularity and trust issues to HRC” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46113 >Discussing why Clinton Church photo op is not going to work to make people trust her “There is a complete misunderstanding by the campaign of the nature and gravity of her problems, and these things make her problem worse, at a time when she is in a very dangerous and precarious position of high and growing distrust.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46164 >“Prime Minister Davutoglu will be in New York from 26 to 30 September to attend the United Nations General Assembly and he is hoping to pay a courtesy call on Ms. Clinton during one of those days in New York. This meeting request comes from Mr. Davutoglu in light of his prior friendship with Secretary Clinton dating back to the time when they were colleagues as Secretary of State/Foreign Minister.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46168 >Subject: Treasury “I spoke with Tim last night and this morning. He confirmed that, if offered, he would be honored to accept.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46177 >Written in Taiwanese? Translated by Google Translate - There is a doc attachment - I did not open it Taiwan judicial shame Bian Zhen money laundering case, the world view of the strange column. Money bribes to be bailed, money laundering innocent Xuan. Do not have to pay bail is not also, anti-sue in vain. Judge power to expand the emperor Man, detective indemnity difficult handling. Procuratorial judge put, under the guise of human rights judicial practice! People's crime to find public relations, no money to note the death. Rich and powerful ghost mill, so the heart in the judge. Dark secretly full court, have nothing to fear lawyers when. Taiwan's judiciary has all changed, not like non-class spots. Cheap and life-saving a line, the body of the patent body. Since the multi-Wei Mo Zhan trouble, good and evil is clearly difficult. Now like a strange Taiwan, cold wait to be changed. Cause and effect of reincarnation is not bad change, retribution Hell fried body. Heaven cover the vast world, the sun and the moon shining mirror hanging. Clearly good and bad books, ghosts to punish strict. Demon 俇 no long-term, heavenly world at any time. Taiwan's judicial shame, earnestly hope heaven wash clean. Ching Ming Cheng Ching bright world, everywhere fair island of security. Note: sigh Chen Shui-bian bribery case, the trial judge Zhou Zhanchun and so blatantly lawless, trampled on justice, could not be punished. The defense lawyers are also in breach of the law and can not punish them. Deeply distressed and the title. The Zen question 200/12/19 (in Taipei City Yang Xin vegetarian) https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46183 >Discussing Routers Video Questions “for the record, i am also in support of not naming names” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46184 >Steve has sent directly 1 millioon dollars to the c4. There is encouragement that if I set up a meeting with tom and susan and walk through the fundraising operation and the split with them we can get on the same page and will bring some good will. Tom needs an additional 1 million in the next few weeks. We can send it all now, or send $5000000 now and the rest in the first couple weeks of january. If this happens we believe steve would move money to the 527 and in addition would get the money moved for the others he wants to bring into this endevour. We also feel it send a strong message and will help with any press inquiries if we show contributions to both messaging and field (we are sending 1 million to av) We need to move on this quickly beecause I have the accountant next wed and thurs. https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46187 >Subject: Big picture legal discussion with HRC She mentioned again yesterday having a big picture strategic discussion about key legal issues. I was thinking we could do a call about the four items below to kick things off (or could be in person). Cheryl and Marc--thoughts? 1. Superpac interaction (fundraising, possible avenues for interaction like issue ads) 2. Transition period operating rules 3. Primary money strategy 4. Options for leveraging party money https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46192 >”Thousands of times every month, we give > governments information about Apple customers and devices, in response to warrants and other forms of legal process. We have a team that responds to those requests 24 hours a day. Strong encryption does not eliminate Apple’s ability to give law enforcement meta-data or any of a number of other very useful categories of data.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46199 >”I just received a call from a close friend of wjcs who said that cvc told one of the bush 43 kids that she is conducting an internal investigation of money within the foundation from cgi to the foundation. The bush kid then told someone else who then told an operative within the republican party. I have heard more and more chatter of cvc and bari talking about lots of what is going on internally to people. Not smart.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46202 John loses his phone >“i lost my phone this am. It must have fallen off my belt getting in or out of the cab. I used Diamond and had a 4:45 pick up at Brandywine. Can you call Diamond Cab and see if the cab driver found it. They should be able to figure it out given the pickup. The receipt says #Diamond 444 C502” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46229 >“the council for a puberty administration and pathological liars you have no voice old ugly liar yourself . go home and stay away from adults - you are real real sick anything to so with socialism /communism is very perverted and indoctrinated and education is void if you are already sick as hell” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46256 >“Then I am all for it. Keep our boot on this asshole's neck.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46276 >”Is everyone comfortable w her saying "Yo Mama”?” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46291 >*See the attached spreadsheet* “Here is the list of top $1M + prospects. I have sent it before, but it seems you never get it. please let me know that you received it.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46301 >“Frankly, John, I am so fed up with the kind of innuendo included in The Atlantic story, I thought I would make a point in the media inquiry forwarded below, though I will not actually write about it publicly. Brent” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46316 >”I believe they were deliberately fucking with us, so I thought it made sense to release the statement (WITH Mark and Ben and Jim and Phil guidance).” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46335 >Town Halls are easy when everything has been planned out in advance *See the attachment* https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46421 >Forwarded news article with a few comments Wall Street Journal article about Clinton Foundation taking foreign government donations https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46430 >“I have to agree. I think there WJC may have some real serious conflicts if we start to make too many rules. It may be time to update some procedures but we can not ignore the nexus of WJC's life.” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46438 >”Our understanding is tha POLITICO is working on a number of articles that touch upon the foundation. A number of the questions also touch upon State. There appears to be particular interest in Haim Saban. Below are 3 such questions.”…”got it - will revert” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/46441 >John P - “I have been thinking about him for Trump role too. I think he's heavier than Miner. P.S. I have not broached this with him wanted to get your take first” https://www.wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/47019 “It seems to me that if directly asked whether it was a mistake she may actually say it was. She often says she absolutely won't do something and then does it. Not always but often. I would advise to stay at her and schedule multiple interviews soon! Lock her in. Eventually she will sound like a human.” Also, if you missed them here are the dumps from previous days: https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiLeaks/comments/59yb5m/ive_gone_through_2000_emails_in_the_past_2_days/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/The_Donald/comments/5a3mvg/ive_been_through_all_of_todays_day_22_emails_here/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/DNCleaks/comments/5aa93j/ive_gone_through_all_of_todays_emails_here_are/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiLeaks/comments/5aeirb/ive_been_going_through_1000_emails_a_day_here_is/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiLeaks/comments/5amtb9/ive_been_going_through_1000_emails_per_day_here/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiLeaks/comments/5ascyh/ive_been_going_through_1000_emails_a_day_here_is/?ref=share&ref_source=link https://www.reddit.com/r/The_Donald/comments/5b0yr4/looking_at_1000_emails_per_day_here_are_the_most/?ref=share&ref_source=link

  • Myra Goodwin

    [](/ssrage)For a thousand years I have lain dormant! Who dares disturb my slum-- [](/sp) [](/sspoint)Oh, it's you guys again. What's up? Is it that time of the week again? [](/sp) Excellent! Time for more horsewords! Words for the Word God, fanfics for his fanfic throne! [](/sp) [](/ssgrin)Okay, so apparently some shmuck named /u/mlp-NovelIdea is getting his fic reviewed and having a birthday tomorrow. However, that also means I get to tear somebody a new one on their special day... are you sure it isn't my birthday instead? Oh well, time to read 'The Applications of Unified Harmony Magics' by the aforementioned birthday boy/girl/tapioca pudding (choose appropriate) [](/sp) [](/undecidedss)So what 'long title' all about? Apparently we get to see Sunset Shimmer in an alternate timeline where there wasn't any sonic rainboom and Shimmer didn't [](/s "buy some apples") things up with the Princess and remained her student. Apparently she even got better and is all sparkly and good now. [](/sp) [](/ssplotting)Why do I get the sneaking suspicion that a giant paddle with the word 'context' written on it is about to [](/s "buy some apples")-slap me out of the blue? [](/sp) [](/ssyes)Now let's just get the neat and tidy stuff out of the way because this ain't the stuff you're here for. This story is hands-down the best written collection of words and sentences that passes for a story that I've reviewed in this book club. I don't know if it's the best one of all the stories featured since I haven't read all of them, but I'm willing to bet it's up there, if not as the top. This guy knows how to string words together and paint a captivating picture. He knows how to make characters interact with one another in a lively, entertaining, and believable manner. The dialogue is fresh, the characters are witty, and for the most part he didn't leave me in a blinding rage. It's enough to almost make me overlook his grievous sin of not using an Oxford comma, or the fact that he decided to not put an extra line space between paragraphs. Seriously, we're in the digital age--you don't need to save paper and compacting the text like that makes it feel claustrophobic. Put some spacing in, it'll look prettier and when your audience is reading off a computer screen you'll want to take extra steps to make for a comfortable read. [](/sp) [](/pleasantss)Honestly, I was actually able to read through this without many fits of rage. [](/sp) >...Trollestia... [](/sp) [](/sstk-intensifies)*heavy, rage-infused breathing* [](/sp) Okay, praising part over, I need to rain on somebody's parade! [](/sp) [](/ssshout)First and foremost, Trollestia? Seriously? You've got some masterful writing here and you drop this piece of meme-trash into the narrative? If reading was fine-dining, you just threw a giant glop of [](/s "buy some apples") Cheese Whiz over my lobster eggs benedict! It was enough that I actually had to come back fifteen minutes later and re-read the whole chapter because the ten minutes before and after that moment was drowned in a sea of rage. You should know better, dammit; your writing more than proves that. [](/sp) [](/ssprofile)Shame on you! [](/sp) [](/ssponders)It's funny, despite this being by far the best written story I've reviewed thus far, it was not the most enjoyable. The author can paint a good he you can write an engaging narrative, but it's not an engrossing story, and the major issue behind that was because it became very apparent from early on that this story sits smack dab in the middle of a larger continuity. This was confirmed after trudging through the second chapter and getting an author note basically stating 'hey, you want to know what they're talking about? You gotta read this story too' [](/sp) Cue the [](/s "buy some apples")-slap from context paddle! [](/sp) [](/unamusedss)And this was ultimately my biggest beef with this story. It's like taking somebody who's never watched My Little Pony and introducing them by having them watch Equestria Girls 3: Friendship Games. I spent the majority of the first half of the story scrambling for context that was never going to be provided. Now this method of dropping you in the middle of a story that takes part of a grand continuity isn't exactly new - first thing that pops to mind is Star Wars: A New Hope. The problem is, so much of this story's plot and character hinges on knowing what that context is and I ain't got any of it! Take for example Sunset's internal plight of being unable to forgive herself for what she's done. Great plot mechanic... except I never saw any of the [](/s "buy some apples") that she did to earn that. For such a critical point of her struggle in this story, there's just a glaring lack of context for it, even after the exposition dump in the second chapter. [](/sp) [](/frustratedss)During this entire story, I'm unable to get any sense of immersion into it because I feel like I'm still just an outsider looking in. I'm the new guy in a circle of friend, sitting quietly to the side as everyone else shares in on inside jokes and stories about things that happened long before I showed up. I can still somewhat enjoy the storytelling, but I'm never a part of the story, so I never feel a sense of connection to it. I want to understand what's going on, but that means slogging through another 10k+ words to get at it. Why didn't someone warn me that I was reading sequel before I got this far? [](/sp) [](/sssmirk)Of course, there is something happening in the here and now that doesn't revolve around knowing what happened in the past. Something about finding a book in the library, which I should've realized was the focus of the story given the title. It's just odd because the first part of the story makes it seem like the plot was going to be about something different altogether. All the talk about research and the legends of Equestria led me to believe that was the key focus here but it's hardly brought up again once the scene ends. [](/sp) [](/s "buy some apples")ing grand continuities... [](/sp) [](/ssponders)Come to think of it, what was even the whole point of the first chapter other than to establish that Sunset needs to go find a book? Like, it was nice to see how the dynamic between Celestia and Sunset Shimmer is, but it had hardly any bearing on the story whatsoever. What significance it might've held got lost once again in the raging torrent of 'missing context.' And again, it's a very nice interaction; masterful character work, though I think he's trying a bit too hard to try and mimic Kosh and is failing to emulate what made Kosh cryptic mannerisms so special in the first place. He was a distant, mysterious figure as a whole, keeping everyone and everything guessing and uncertain as to what his motives were. He was an unknown entity so those cryptic messages were the small glimmers into the unknown that enticed us further. Celestia is just being stonewalling because she doesn't want to spoil things and she knows that, and even goes so far as derive amusement from watching other people scramble to try and understand. Kosh was always just out of reach from, a totally alien being whose understanding probably transcended our capacity. Celestia and Sunset share a close, personal bond that just gets stymied whenever she decides to withhold even a meaningful explanation. [](/sp) [](/ssleaving)That's not really being cryptic, that's being an [](/s "buy some apples") [](/sp) Getting side-tracked again. I shouldn't be spending all this time on just the first chapter, not when there's two other chapters to deconstruct. [](/sp) [](/sssmile)Though at the same time, how much more is there to be said? In chapter two we're treated to a little get together between Sunset and some of her friends, with this chapter basically serving as an exposition dump to try and catch readers up to speed, as well as showcase the interactions between the cast. Once again, beautiful work with the dialogue. I adore Moon Dancer's sassy, silver-tongued temptress personality. It's like every flirty librarian fantasy in pony-form. Then again, despite how much I like her character... she doesn't really feel like the Moon Dancer I knew. I mean, aside from the name and love of books, this isn't anything resembling the Moon Dancer I knew in the past. It's such a stark change in character, I can't help but feel a little cheated--kind of like a bait and switch. I mean, I liked the old Moon Dancer, I like the new Moon Dancer, but I don't like that the new Moon Dancer *is* Moon Dancer. Granted, she's important to the plot of the story, but... I can't picture Moon Dancer behaving in the manner she does here. [](/sp) [](/unamusedss)I'd say it breaks the immersion if it weren't for the fact that I'm already sitting on the outside with a twenty-foot perimeter fence keeping me there. [](/sp) [](/ssdismissal)And then there's the actual crux of the story which was... um... what was it again? Oh, right! The macguffin from the title of the story. Sunset has to go get it, and in doing so enlists the help of Twilight Sparkle, who we discover works in the archives since she never got to be Celestia's pupil. Now our new ~~Moon Dancer~~ Twilight Sparkle is apparently resentful to Sunset Shimmer... I think. I mean, it says she is so I guess we'll go along with it. Had trouble getting a feel for any tension, once again finding root in events that happened in another story, mirrored by Sunset's own feelings regarding events that happened in another story.

  • Abby Daugherty

    #The Tourney's Dancing Puppets >It all goes back and back, Tyrion thought, to our mothers and fathers and theirs before them. We are puppets dancing on the strings of those who came before us, and one day our own children will take up our strings and dance on in our steads.^1 Tyrion thinks this after Oberyn explains his motivation for fighting the Mountain. Though Tyrion’s fate rests on Oberyn's burning desire for revenge, the sadness he feels as he thinks about them being puppets is palpable. The echoes of Harrenhal reverberate throughout history and the events of today. #Trial by Battle The Tourney at Harrenhal provided the seeds for the fatal battle between Oberyn and the Mountain. Tyrion’s trial served a convenient opportunity for the Red Viper to exact the vengeance he’d come to Kings Landing to for. ##The Martells Oberyn was the youngest of three siblings. Doran is 10 years the oldest with Elia and Oberyn born only a year apart. Their close ages meant that Oberyn and Elia were “inseparable”.”^2 Doran’s, Elia’s, and Oberyn’s parents aren’t named in the books. Their mother is referred to as the Princess of Dorne. She and Joanna Lannister were close friends because they’d been companions to Princess Rhaella as girls. Rhaella would go on to marry her brother and ascend the throne as the Mad King’s Queen. The Princess of Dorne and Joanna Lannister maintained their friendship over the years, even planning for their children to wed the other’s. In 273, Oberyn, Elia, and their mother traveled from Dorne to Casterly Rock. Oberyn was 16 and Elia was 17. Tyrion had just been born and Joanna had died giving birth to him. Instead of her dear friend, the Princess found Casterly Rock in deep mourning. >“Years later, on her deathbed, she told me that Lord Tywin had refused us brusquely. His daughter was meant for Prince Rhaegar, he informed her. And when she asked for Jaime, to espouse Elia, he offered her you instead.”^3 The three returned to Dorne. Oberyn had already fathered the eldest Sand Snake in 272 a year prior. He would go on to father seven more daughters. In 285, his first child with Ellaria Sand is born. He would spend the next 15 years as partner to Ellaria before his death in 300 at Tyrion’s trial. Six years after the trip to Casterly Rock, Elia was betrothed to Prince Rhaegar Targaryen. She was 23 and he was 20. They married the following year in 280. The marriage between them wasn’t an unhappy one. Barristan described Rhaegar’s feelings toward his wife as “fond”. ##The Sack of Kings Landing The conversation between Tyrion and Oberyn as he prepares to fight the Mountain explains Oberyn’s motivation in Kings Landing: >“Well, Prince Rhaegar married Elia of Dorne, not Cersei Lannister of Casterly Rock. So it would seem your mother won that tilt.” >“She thought so,” Prince Oberyn agreed, “but your father is not a man to forget such slights. He taught that lesson to Lord and Lady Tarbeck once, and to the Reynes of Castamere. **And at King’s Landing, he taught it to my sister.**... >“Elia and her children have waited long for justice.” Prince Oberyn pulled on soft red leather gloves, and took up his spear again. “But this day they shall have it.”^4 Oberyn blames Tywin for Elia’s death, viewing her murder as more blood on Tywin’s hands. From Dorne’s perspective, Tywin used his standard operating procedure: foist the grisly task onto someone else. During the Ryene-Tarbeck rebellion: >Rohanne, was mother to a three-year-old son, remembered in the songs as “the last Lord Tarbeck.” The boy disappeared the day of the battle, never to be seen again. Those of a romantic bent believe that he was smuggled from the burning castle in disguise, grew to manhood across the narrow sea, and became a bard famed for his sad ballads. **More reliable reports suggest that he was thrown down a well by Ser Amory Lorch, though whether this was done at the behest of Ser Tywin or without his knowledge remains in dispute.**^5 Tywin explains to Tyrion that the murder of the Targaryen children was “necessary to demonstrate [their] loyalty.”^6 He horrifyingly continues to explain that the only reason the Mountain killed Elia was because Tywin didn’t tell him not to. Elia and her children shouldn’t have been in Kings Landing to begin with. Were it not for the paranoia of King Aerys, they would have fled to Dragonstone with Queen Rhaella and Viserys. Aerys kept them as hostages against Llewyn Martell who he was convinced had betrayed the Targaryen cause. Aerys’ paranoia, while not directly caused by the events at the Harrenhal Tournament, was certainly exacerbated by what was planned there. ##Harrenhal Tourney Tyrion, Tywin, the Mountain, and Oberyn were put onto this path because of what happened at Harrenhal in 281. The Harrenhal Tournament was hosted by Walter Whent, older brother of Ser Oswell Whent. Oswell served as the go between the two as Rhaegar set up the tourney. It was to serve as a cover for Rhaegar’s real plan: a Grand Council convened to decide how to handle Aerys’ continued descent into madness. Aerys may have been crazy but in this case, his son and other lords were really out to get him. Oberyn is at there, presumably to represent Dorne in the Council. The planned meeting doesn’t happen, though. (Likely because Aerys was in attendance.) Rhaegar meets and falls in love with Lyanna Stark. The two make plans to abscond in two months’ time when she is again in the Riverlands for her brother Brandon’s wedding to Catelyn Tully. We’re now into well-trod territory. Close to Harrenhal, Lyanna “disappears”. Rhaegar is traveling with his six companions when he “kidnaps” her. Lyanna’s disappearance is the spark that blows the powder keg of rebellion. Robert’s Rebellion happens. Rhaegar is defeated on the Trident. Ned Stark races down to Kings Landing but Tywin and the Lannister army beat him there. The Lannisters sack Kings Landing. Elia and her children are murdered so that Tywin can show Robert his loyalty to the Baratheon throne. ##“Who fears to walk upon the grass? But it is the grass that hides the viper from his enemies.” Oberyn was so outraged by his sister’s murder that he attempted to raise Dorne to fight on behalf of Viserys. Jon Arryn visited Sunspear and put an end to the effort though it’s unclear exactly how. Relations between Dorne and Kings Landing afterward were cordial at best. Dorne’s seat on the Small Council remained empty during Robert’s reign. Sometime in the next 5 years, Oberyn travels to Braavos where Dany and Viserys are living in the house with the red door. He and Willem Darry sign a secret pact betrothing Arianne Martell to Viserys. The pact is kept a secret until 300 when Doran sends Quentyn Martell to Mereen to propose to Dany. Oberyn goes to Kings Landing in Doran’s place to take Dorne’s seat on the Small Council. Doran planned for Oberyn to undertake a reconnaissance mission: >”‘Take the measure of this boy king and his council, and make note of their strengths and weaknesses,’ I told him, on the terrace. We were eating oranges. ‘Find us friends, if there are any to be found. Learn what you can of Elia’s end, but see that you do not provoke Lord Tywin unduly,’ those were my words to him.’”^7 Doran too wants justice for Elia and according to him: “I have worked at the downfall of Tywin Lannister since the day they told me of Elia and her children.”^8 Quentyn meets his untimely end in Mereen. He wouldn’t have been in Mereen were it not for the marriage pact. The marriage pact wouldn’t have been signed if Dorne weren’t planning to restore the Targaryens to the throne. They wouldn’t be planning to restore the Targaryens to the throne if Elia and her children hadn’t been brutally murdered at the behest of Tywin Lannister. Oberyn may not have volunteered as Tyrion’s champion were it not for the desire for revenge on Tywin and Gregor Clegane. ##Unseen Strings And yet the even bigger picture beckons. Would Rhaegar have met Lyanna and had Jon without both being at Harrenhal? The necessity of Harrenhal despite the thousands of deaths, Oberyn Martell’s included, had to happen to bring us to today. Everything that has happened in our current story has happened as a result of the events that took place in 281 at Harrenhal. The turn of fate that produced Jon Snow who will go on to save the realm from the Others is the same that sparked the deaths of not just Elia, Aegon, and Rhaenys but of the thousands of soldiers and smallfolk who were casualties of the rebellion. Had Rhaegar not met Lyanna, Oberyn would’ve lived...at least until the Others invaded south. Without Jon Snow to stop them, the Long Night would reign once more. ##For discussion, click [HERE](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiaftournament/comments/5d28vp/spoilers_extended_2016_match_up_5_discussion/) to go to the dedicated thread on /r/asoiaftournament.

  • Chesley Rolfson

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  • Kurt Shields

    Greetings everyone! Well, I'm awake again, and as promised, after I shower and eat something, I shall tell you all another story. This is the story of how Thragmarr braved the Elemental Planes, two of the Nine Hells, and the entire Astral Plane to find Urist Meadbeard, and how their friendship and sheer manliness allowed them to reside in the Heroic Domains of Ysgard for all eternity. --- Hey, sorry about the wait guys, I like to take long showers and I couldn't find the eggs. So, a bit more backstory to put this tale in context... I'm a year or more younger than the rest of my friends, meaning that I'm a grade below them. As such, when my senior year came around (which is when this game takes place), most of them went off to college out of state. The DM went to an in-state school, and T was already out of college at the time (he was three grades ahead of my friends), so I ended up spending a lot of time with them my senior year. So one day, the DM calls me up. Me: Hello? DM: Hey, Anon. You doing anything tomorrow night? Me: Eh, I've got work until six, but after that I'll be free, what's up? DM: Me and T want to run another game, just the three of us, see how it turns out. I'd be DMing. Me: Yeah, sure, sounds good to me. DM: Great. Bring your dice, Thragmarr's character sheet, and some snacks and drinks to my place tomorrow around 7. Me: Alright, see you there. I'm prepared for another great game with my friends, but I'm pretty unprepared for what I see when I get there. --- The DM had a pretty crazy setup going on. He had taken one of those poster boards that fold in the middle, decorated it with a picture of the Astral Wheel on both sides, and placed it in the middle of the large table that was in his basement. There were three chairs set up, two across from each other and one on the other side, perpendicular to the two chairs. The poster board divided the table in half width-wise, making two separate gaming areas. I had a vague notion of what he was going to do with this setup, and after a brief explanation, I was right. Since Thragmarr was currently on the Material Plane, mourning his good friend Urist, and Urist was currently floating through the Astral Plane, mourning over the loss of his legendary collection of ales and other liquor, there was no way we'd know what was happening to the other; as such, the DM set up this screen to prevent metagaming. Now, you might say "but you can still hear what's going on over the side!", to which I tell you, he had noise canceling headphones for the both of us to wear. Thus began the campaign. --- I was the first to go. He turned the board slightly, as to make a larger area for the two of us, and we discussed what I was going to be doing. I had, despite my lacking intellect, deduced that Urist was not actually dead, but in fact had been sucked through a portal to the Astral Plane, and as such could ostensibly be saved. So, after burning a good portion of my reward on research, companions, and expeditions, the DM informed me that I had finally located a portal to the Astral Plane. Armed to the teeth with the magical weapons and armor that I had accumulated over the course of the last game, I bid farewell to the underlings that I had hired to help me in my quest, telling them that if I did not return, then I had either been successful in my quest, or had died horribly to some monstrosity beyond the realms of man. They wished me well, and I stepped through the portal. Being an barbarian has its downsides. One of them being that you either have to hire someone to read things to you, or try and puzzle through multitudes of arcane tomes in order to find what you're looking for. I chose the former, and paid for it dearly. --- The DM informed me that I had made a mistake in my translation of one of the books, which led me wildly astray as to the portal I had entered. Turns out, I ended up on the Elemental Plane of Air. Thragmarr was irritated, since that meant he would not be able to find Urist immediately, and it also meant that he actually hadn't taught himself to read properly. And with that, the DM turned to T, and his turn began. I found out afterwards that, during his first turn, Urist figured out how to make himself fly about the Astral Plane, fought some githyanki mind pirates, and encountered a Great Wyrm Bronze Dragon, who taught him about the astral plane, and informed him about the portals which were scattered about the plane that led to various parts of the Cosmology. --- After waiting through T's turn, the order passed back to me. DM: After stepping through the portal, you find yourself floating in the middle of an empty expanse of sky. The only landmark you can see is the portal behind you, which then vanishes. Me: Thragmarr's flying? DM: Yes. I grin the shit-eating-est grin I can muster Me: Yeeeeeeeheheheheehehes..... "Thragmarr is master of sky! Thragmarr make sky rue the day it make Thragmarr go to wrong place and not find Urist!" DM: Well, uh, you have to THINK to make yourself fly here... With that, I drew my greatsword, and told the DM that I wasn't using my intellect to move, but rather my deep seated and incurable rage that fuels my every action. He stares at me, then shrugs. "All right, I guess I'll allow it. Anger is a projection of will anyways." To speed this story up, basically what happened after that was Thragmarr used his anger to make himself a rocket. After hours of searching, he managed to locate the castle of a djinn, floating on a magical island suspended in the sky. DM: The djinn and his court look upon you with great disdain. "Why do you come before us, mortal? This is no place for your kind. Mayhaps you should take your leave, lest you find yourself in more trouble than you could possibly imagine." Me: "No! Thragmarr needs your help, magick floating man! Thragmarr must find Urist!" DM: The djinn looks at you in confusion. "Who is this 'Urist'?" I recount the epic tale of my party in my own simple way, and the DM tells me that at the end of it, the entire court has tears dribbling down their faces. "The djinn wipes a tear from his eye. 'We have never heard such a tale of heroism and friendship. We shall help you, what ever you need.'" --- My turn ends with the djinn allowing me the usage of one of his guest suites, and him giving me his sworn word that he would help me find my friend. Of course, taking the sworn word of a djinn at face value is a mistake which many an adventurer makes in his lifetime. The turn passes back to T, and he spends another turn flying around the Astral Plane trying to locate a portal to the Material Plane, eventually finding one that looks like it might be the right one. Of course, without a spellcraft check, there was no way to know for sure, so Urist decided he would fly through the portal anyways and take whatever might come his way. That turned out to be a bad idea; the portal deposited him in the middle of the second ring of the Nine Hells, in a place known as the Infernal Court. Rather than simply tear him apart, though, the devils decided that they'd capture Urist, keep him as their pet to torment for their entertainment, and then when his will was broken and he couldn't do any more, THEN they'd tear him apart. Of course, Thragmarr would have none of that. (I have to go pick up my car from the shop, be back in a bit.) --- Back, y’all! The car’s fine, but I need a part, which is coming in later in the week. The djinn tells me that, through clever magical dickery and a properly aligned crystal ball, he’s managed to locate my friend; to the best of his knowledge, he’s in one of the Nine Hells, but can’t really tell which one. I roll my eyes, asking the DM if he could possibly narrow it down. Thragmarr doesn’t have an issue cleaving through thousands of devils and their minions to locate, but he WOULD like to know how many thousands he’ll have to face off against. The djinn tries his best, but can only narrow it down to the upper few levels; pinpointing him without a sample of his essence is beyond his power, being a lesser djinn. He is, however, able to open a portal to the Astral Plane’s dimensional “waiting room”, which allows easy travel between the planes. The djinn tells Thragmarr to take the door which is forged from black iron, and hands him a small silver coin which will afford him some protection from fire and from evil-aligned creatures. He wishes Thragmarr well, and opens the door between the planes. After taking a quick ethereal jaunt through time and space, I touch down in the “waiting room”, which is actually just that; a moderately sized room, full of couches , with doors aplenty leading to the various parts of the cosmology. Mercifully, I pass the test to remember which door to go through and swinging it open dramatically, step through into the Nine Hells of Baator.

  • Krystal Hermann

    I know I'm responding to this pretty late, but I haven't had the time and still wanted to give a proper post because I love talking about this and I reckon both views of Dumbledore come from valid views of his character, and it's for that reason that he's so interesting. The main thing I disagree with, though, is that I really don't think Dumbledore is a egomaniac, and despite understanding why someone might see him as a cruel puppet-master, I actually haven't been able to figure out where he comes across as *self*-centered and egotistical. > "I love Dumbledore. He's such a good man." I paused. "Was he?" I love this so much. Everyone starts out loving Dumbledore, but I think we're meant to question him. > Here you have a man that knows the entire time the story goes on that Harry is going to have to be sacrificed yet he continuously let's a triad of teenagers "outsmart" him by putting themselves in harms way. ... there is no way such things go over your head. I think there is a misconception that Dumbledore is all-knowing. Obviously if he *is* that perfect and that powerful, then every critique of him is way valid - if he has eyes everywhere and could foresee the future accurately, that means that what happens is exactly or nearly exactly what he wanted. But we see the world through Harry's POV and Harry is young and naive and wrong about a lot of things, including the level of power Dumbledore actually has. Harry also doesn't have the whole picture until the end. Dumbledore's actions depend a lot on what options were available to him, and Harry only discovered what those options were in the King's Cross chapter in Deathly Hallows, so I think any judgement of Dumbledore made prior to that chapter is not looking at the whole picture. > At this point the Dumbledore apologist might say "he knew best." Did he? I personally think the answer is "no and then mostly". I don't think he acted on anything until he was confident and/or it was low-risk. I know we all assume Dumbledore's plan begins very early in Harry's life, but I honestly honestly honestly don't think he had a solid plan until the beginning of HBP. If you really look at the story from his POV, evaulate every mention of him, I think he has a plan during the first book (that Harry actually ruins instead of follows) and then Dumbledore is unfocused, confused, and worried from books 2 through 5, and only regains confidence and a real plan in the 6th book. > Could fame have puffed the man up? If fame didn't his legendary duel with Grinewald certainly must have. He's the world champ at that point. This is where I think you really start to head in the wrong direction and where I think a lot of people overlook what Dumbledore's relationship with Grindelwald did to him, specifically his shifting values before, during, and after this friendship. I can go into more detail if you like, but the short explanation is that Dumbledore *was* an egomaniac, and while not *cruel*, was easily fooled and gullible (effectively just as bad as being cruel if pushed the right way). Grindelwald stoked that ego and gave Dumbledore a way out of his mundane life as caretaker to his ill sister, so Dumbledore happily overlooked the obvious - that Grindelwald was cruel and that their plans to subjugate Muggles were not for the greater good, but only for their own good. Aberforth, who can't read and is always in his brother's shadow, saw straight through Grindelwald, but Albus denied denied denied until it led to a fight that resulted in their sister's death. Dumbledore, at last, realized what had been straight in front of him - that Grindelwald, despite being clever and powerful, was evil. Consider the way Dumbledore describes his brother: "unlettered", "rough", and yet "infinitely more admirable", and then compare it to the way he describes himself - intelligent and clever, sure, but also but foolish, cowardly, and afraid. He no longer considered intelligence the height of human value - near the end of his life what he valued was selflessness, bravery, and love. I'm not saying any of this in order to defend Dumbledore's choices, or that he himself embodies the values he admires, only that he is not as in control of his emotions than someone as powerful as he is *should* be. Dumbledore knew where his weaknesses lay, and *yes, I know* he *says* power is his weakness, but that doesn't mean it's his only one, or even his biggest one. I think it's obvious that he wants glory and recognition, aka power, but it is just as obvious that he wanted love and companionship, and that that is actually the weaker of his two weaknesses. He mastered the Elder Wand, the representation of Power, for decades, but the Resurrection Stone, the representation of Grief, drove him mad immediately and actually killed him. > Grief, it seemed, drove Voldemort out . . . though Dumbledore, of course, would have said that it was love. . . . (DH, p. 478) And I think that's where he goes wrong with Harry. He knows what's in Harry's head and therefore knows what role Harry must play. But he begins to love Harry. Dumbledore does act selfishly, yes, but not in the way I think you're saying. He loves Harry, and *doesn't want him to be burdened or hurt*, and yet even after he learns that Harry can survive after GoF, he still chooses to treat Harry as if he is too young and inexperienced to deserve the truth, and not only that, Dumbledore acts as if he *can* protect Harry, when he actually isn't that black and white powerful. > “Do you see, Harry? Do you see the flaw in my brilliant plan now? I had fallen into the trap I had foreseen, that I had told myself I could avoid, that I must avoid.” (OotP p. 838). and, > "What did I care if numbers of nameless and faceless people and creatures were slaughtered in the vague future, if in the here and now you were alive, and well, and happy? I never dreamed that I would have such a person on my hands.” (OotP p. 838-839) and, > “Voldemort’s aim in possessing you, as he demonstrated tonight, would not have been my destruction. It would have been yours. He hoped, when he possessed you briefly a short while ago, that I would sacrifice you in the hope of killing him” (OotP p. 828) *Would Dumbledore kill Harry to kill Voldemort?* That's Dumbledore's burden. Where most theories consider him automatically okay with this, my theory is dependent on him having just enough morality to know what he must do, while not actually wanting to do it. > However, objective skill qualification a wise man does not make. I reckon Dumbledore would absolutely agree with you on that. If I haven't convinced you already, consider how he sees Harry, how he constantly values his courage and bravery and above all his love, and the choices those lead him to make. Consider that he seems to continue to be surprised by Harry each year. And consider the possibility that Dumbledore learns these things about Harry along the way, that there is little reason to think *anyone*, even Dumbledore, could predict the sort of person a child will grow to be, that Harry is not a product of manipulations, but instead teaching the readers the power of personal choice, and that Dumbledore might even be surprised by Harry, knowing the poor choices he, himself, made as a teen. Dumbledore says in King's Cross chapter in Deathly Hallows, > "Harry. I have known, for some time now, that you are the better man.” ___ > So, did Dumbledore's enigmatic life lead to a slew of irresponsible prideful decisions that put young people in harms way with no regard for their safety simply because you, almighty Chief of the Wizengamot, know what's best? My TL,DR is that Dumbledore is not an egomaniac and that for books 2-5 was trying to actively *prevent* Harry's involvement in the war, but was not as capable at preventing Harry's involving as he thought, and realizes that Harry IS going to die if Dumbledore doesn't prepare him. That protecting Harry will never work long-term. His character ultimately shows us that love alone is not enough, that it takes bravery to make the right choices based on that love. He epitomises and adds depth to all the themes in the books.

  • Lane Roob

    Throwaway account because personal story Got married 15 years ago. My girlfriend and I's sex life was never as active as I'd like, but there were some underlying medical reasons.. However after we got married, it shut right down. Even on our honeymoon, I think we had sex once.. possibly twice. After that it was months in-between, and she was very stand offish. I tried talking to her about it, but she got mad, annoyed, frustrated, accused me of "all you ever think of is sex." and so on... it was hard for me, I was frustrated, a bit depressed and wondering what was going on. At work we had a messenger program on our computers that no one really used. One of the ladies that worked there, was this sweet innocent type girl, and we got to talking about stuff on the chat program, even though she was 5 feet away (our room had 4 or 5 workers in it). We talked about movies, or books, or news. normal stuff. I am not sure how it came up, but all of a sudden the topic of porn came up. I said something like "you don't watch porn..." because I couldn't picture this girl into that at all, she seemed pretty reserved. She said "of course I watch porn" and then began to describe all the stuff she watched... this sort of topic began to crop up more and more for the next week or so. It was a bit weird, but also a bit flirty. But that's all it was, just talking, I believe I also admitted to my issues at home at this time (big mistake). At the time, there was some management stuff going on, and a co-worker was leaving, and what was happening was up in the air. We discussed the office politics a bit, and then she says one day "come to the back room (which was empty at that time of day). we sat on a table back there and talked about the office politics and management etc. for about 15-20 minutes, just as we're done, she reaches down, grabs my hand and sucks on my finger. I was in shock, as she walked away giving me a sly look. I admit, I had an instant hard on, and was unsure what to do. I walked back to my room to my desk and sat down, nothing more was said. I had a lot of confused feelings. we chatted the next few days as normal, and then again we met in the back to discuss things in private (I can't recall who's idea it was then) and again she sucked my finger and that was it. My heart was beating rapidly. Girls never took interest in me much before, and this was strange but also a bit exciting, especially since at home, nothing was happening in that department. So over the next week or two, more personal and sex talk. At one point she says that she wants to know how I kiss. I was apprehensive, but she insisted and said stuff like "don't worry, i've kissed most of my male friends, it's not a big deal, I just curious thats all, it doesn't mean anything" I can't remember her exact words, but she convinced me.. We kissed in the back, briefly, but she was sure using a lot of tongue. Afterwards I remember having very confusing and mixed thoughts about this. Then a few days later she asks me to come back to our (largish) store room, she wants to show me something. Stupid me, honestly thought it was something the company bought that was expensive and useless, because that's sort of the thing they'd do. She says "sit down here"... ummm.. ok.. she takes a few steps back between some shelving units, and starts to do this sexy dance thing. I was surprised at what was going on, then she lifts her dress up to reveal her pussy, no underwear. I think my mouth must have dropped. She did that for awhile, and came over to me and started rubbing my crotch hard, she wants to see my dick, and pleads for me to let it out. I say no a few times, and she starts to unzip my pants regardless, and stupid me, doesn't stop her. The affair went on for about 2 months, it was 99% blowjobs (something my wife never would do). We never actually had intercourse at this time. At this time we continued to talk, but she'd start acting weird. She would say things like "there's no emotion here, we're just having fun." and at one point I wanted to break it off and just be friends and she said something like "I don't want to be your friend, and I never will. This is all I want" Another time she suggested "it should end" and I was relieved and I said "yeah, I think so" she said she meant our friendship, she just wanted my body. This stuff was starting to weird me out a lot, (I know now, it seems like "come on dude, red flags much?" but when it's happening, and days go by, you tend to ignore the signs) it was at this time she started telling me that random guys would come to her apartment and she'd fuck them. She had "regulars" but if she saw a guy she wanted, she'd "get him". It started to sound like she was a prostitute that didn't charge. These were major "WTF???" moments. She'd tell me about some of these experiences, and I was thinking "fuck, this has to stop now" but I was fucking scared as shit. I was worried she'd tell my wife, even though she originally said she'd never do that. It came to an end at one point where she wanted to have actual intercourse. We started, but I stopped it immediately, I was disgusted with myself, I hated everything about myself, what I was doing. I would often cry on my commute home, I was a mess. Everything around me was fucked up... but still, how did I stop this? I couldn't figure out a way out. I was trapped, and I realised that this lady was unpredictable. It was around this time that she bragged, actually bragged, that she had slept with two married men before me, and that one divorced after her affair, and one didn't. She claimed she "helped" the second one's relationship. She also told me that she was pursuing her fourth married man already (I also learned that there were rumours she had slept with another co-worker at our office years prior, before I was employed there). I eventually broke it off, and she hands me this note at the end, slips it to me. I read it later, and she is professing her love for me, and she can't live without me, and so on and so forth. Where as a month earlier, she was cold, and didn't want to be my friend, an said it was just for fun. That was the hard slap in the face I wish I had at the beginning. The realisation that this bitch was and had been manipulating me from the very start. Grooming me, turning my words around, confusing me, and doing anything she could to get close to me for her own personal conquest or whatever her goal was. She was a master manipulator, and I was in a bit of a fog with my own personal problems and fell for it completely. The "i love you letter" was her last ditch effort to hook me for more, and it failed, it was a wake up call since it contradicted everything. When I said no more, she was livid, swearing at me in emails, apparently bad mouthing me to other employees. I said nothing, I decided I wasn't going to get into a verbal he said / she said with the whole office. She then threatened to tell my wife. fuck.. what do I do. I wasn't sure how to proceed, and in the end, I told my wife myself. I felt it was the honorable thing to do... Now I'm not so sure. The amount of emotional pain I inflicted on my wife that night still haunts me to this day. It's like a black mark on my soul that I can't get rid of. I hate myself for it, and it has caused some lasting problems in our relationship. I felt completely used and manipulated, and angry at myself that I let myself go through that, and fall for that, and be a part of that. The day before it all started, if someone said "you'll start an affair tomorrow" I would have laughed in their face. It was never even a thought in my brain. We went to counselling, which helped a bit, moved on wards, but the pain still surfaces from time to time... but I can say I've been faithful the entire time since. I am sure many people here will downvote this, and call me out for my action were my actions and no one else. I get it, the cheater is the cheater and is at fault 100%. I just wanted to add some context, how someone that knows how to talk well, can make you do things you normally never would. Looking back at the whole picture from start to finish, I can see points where she was saying things in a way to convince me "it's no big deal" and "no one will know..." The worst part is also seeing red flag after red flag after red flag, and my stupidity in ignoring them. **TL:DR - had an affair with someone who completely manipulated and used me.**

  • Edgar Dach

    This doesn't apply to my true "Best Friends", because the road to becoming my best friend is a difficult one that only truly trustworthy people who are deeply rooted in their morals and really care end up lasting years with me. Everyone else is eventually eliminated or phased-out as I don't deem them worthy. I have two friends. I guess you could call them "Best", but in truth they are the "only". I only consider someone a friend if they can hang on as well as they have. Everyone else is just an acquaintance. I feel this is the correct way to do things - "Friend" should be a very close term while "acuaintance" describes people you work with or went to school with etc - those are not friends, just some people you toyed with a little. --- Why a friendship with me may fail (99% do): * I am always the one starting the discussion. I will instigate the conversation a fair number of times, especially if I was the party interested in getting to know them first - if I instigated conversation first, most likely it's an attractive girl that I have an interest in (as I almost never start a conversation with anything else - there's no reason to). However, I'll eventually stop and wait. If after a fair amount of socializing they still don't feel the desire to message me first, then I can see how it is already. This is gonna be a relationship where I'm going to be the only one that really cares about it and doing all the work. Nope, screw that, got other things to do. * The Attraction Begins, *and Ends*, at Sex I tend to be interested in being friends until I realize there's literally no reason the two of us would talk other than to bone each other. We have almost nothing in common and live totally different lifestyles. Yeah sorry, I'm out. I need to stop making friends based on what my cock says, but other than it I never feel the desire for them at all. I think if I didn't have testicles I'd honestly not care about socializing with people at all. I'd be pretty soley focused on making myself richer and more powerful. I'm a very mission-minded person after all. * They're Shallow as Fuck (Hilarious Coming From Me) Sometimes they're just dumb as a sick of dirt. They're poorly educated or.. are just really annoying. There's different varieties of this "shallow as fuck" category: - The downright stoopid. Can't spell, grammar sucks, make fun of you for reading books, and their common knowledge is non-existent. You can't talk politics or economics or philosophy with these types or they'd just look at you like they're 5 years old and you're explaining tenser calculus or something. - The "I think I'm the next big author/philosopher" type. These morons sit on their Facebooks and type a new poem every damn day for those circlejerk comments of praise. Or they may think they're the next literary genius for whatever reason they pull out of their ass - maybe they make fanfiction or something. My takeaway from these is they THINK they're way smarter than they are. No offense to actual artists and stuff. But anymore there seems to be a thin line between what I consider real artists, and the artsy hipsters who are all total wannabes. - Models. People that just show off picture after picture of themselves. They'll take 10 in a day. They're completely full of themselves and are narcissists. - The pity-party types. If you add them on any social media they'll have a new emo/depressing status every damn day. And it's not just a phase - they'll do it for years and years. They're just pity-seekers and while I'm an empathetic person, they are an insult to people who really have problems. - The type to *make shit up*. God is this prevalent on the net - I can tell when you're straight-up making-up stories. I know this story of "My best friend and whole family was murdered in front of me!" and "I was basking in the blood of my enemiessss" stories are complete bullshit and I'm not going to entertain them. I find this becomes less common as I get older, probably because I'm not in the company of teenagers anymore, but it still happens sometimes and it's pathetic. - THE GYM. Yeah I don't think I need to explain this one. Every other status post is THE GYM THE GYM THE GYM THE GYM THE GYM * I'm the one that's incompatible. Sometimes it's me. It really is just me. I'm not compatible with everyone either - I'm sort of a... South Park / Rick Sanchez type of cynic and realist and a bit morally apathetic person. You can expect me to be right in your face about the hard realities of life and say the craziest shit straight-up in an audience of people. I'm already well-off so I end up just saying what I want and not really caring what other people think of what I think. Some people LOVE this about me for some reason - they can trust me for the honest truth and for me to be pretty objective-minded about things - I think about things in the context of the universe and how pointless the entire human struggle is. For some that's refreshing and realistic. But others will find it rude and cynical. But at the end of the day I'm the type to get shit done because I'm rooted in reality and not going to deal with anyone's bullshit. * There's Just No Reason For It To Exist I've come to realize that humans don't do ANYTHING for *no reason*. Well, this is something I've known since I was a kid, but... Here's the deal. People won't get up in the morning without some kind of reason. People have their egos, their selfishness, of which the seven sins stem from. They want money, sex, power, food, pride, to be better than others, and to exert their emotions, and they often wanna do it all for the least amount of work. I can't imagine I'd get up in the morning if I didn't have pride in the projects I work on (Pride is probably my greatest sin, followed by Wrath). I also can't imagine people would look for friendships for any reasons other than to serve one of these sins. Quite honestly in my case usually what influences my social decisions is Lust. Usually my social interactions are calculated moves to get to some goal I wanted to reach. Maybe I'll befriend you simply because I find you amusing or "because of time". That's really what holds me and my two best friends together I suppose. My male best friend is someone I just made friends with out of having a lot in common and finding him entertaining. My female one is someone I used to be with, but since then we somehow have become lifelong friends. I don't really have a seven-sins explanation for these two except that they're just somehow there as a consequence of circumstances. But most of my lesser "friendships" are either girls I want a relationship with, or people that I can show-off to and stroke my own ego with - like people who enjoy video games [so I can show-off on YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLWVbFfh7aP1EPiQN4sVCNpI8lyXrzmc1x) or people that like nerdy/sciency/tech stuff so I can show-off my inventions and creations (there's lots of forms of that). It's funny, while I act like a humble nobody throughout life usually, if you peel away that first external layer you'll find I'm actually quite a prideful little shit. I don't show it publicly though - I'm actually really polite and softspoken because I know that's beneficial (people will treat prideful people more harshly - they soften when they see someone that's self-depreciating and humble). --- All in all, what I look for in a person is a balance of traits. Someone that doesn't veer too far to any one thing. Someone that understands the deeper meanings in things, and can talk about life and the cosmos and fantasy and all of that, but while staying rooted in reality and realistic. Someone that's emotional, soft enough to understand feelings, but strong enough to be able to toughen when need-be. I don't like people that let one thing take over their lives or have basically just one personality trait.

  • Dora Bernier

    I was actually just writing up my end of the year reading list that I do for friends. I read a fair bit, in both general fiction, non-fiction, and genre fiction. These were my top 5 general fiction books along with my summary of why I liked them. See if any of them tickle your fancy :). 1. **The Moor’s Account** - Laila Lalami Read a ton of good fiction this year, but was still pretty easy to pick out a number one. For starters, I love how Laila spins out her tale from a single line "The fourth [survivor] is Estevanico, an Arab Negro from Azamor" from Cabeza de Vaca in his historical account of the Narváez expedition. From there it moves out into both the stories of how Mustafa first falls into Spanish slavery as well as his travels in the New World. Action, pathos, romance and friendship all mingle together in the style of a sixteenth century Arab travelog (think of the Voyages of Sinbad as an example). The central theme of what it means to be enslaved and what it means to be free is the pivot that many of the relationships revolve around, but those aspect are handled with an incredible touch that never breaks the story telling for soapboxing. “But the second time she told me this story, it was many years later, when she had despaired of making me listen to reason, when she had lost hope that I would remain in Azemmur. She said I had been destined for a life of travel. But she could just as easily have prophesied that, having been born on the day my father stood up to the Portuguese soldiers, I had been destined for a life of war, or that, having endured a riot before my arrival, I had been destined for a life of survival, or that, having been born to a crippled father, I had been destined for a life of loss. If only I could see her now, I would tell her that all these destinies were mine in the end, and that God, in His bountiful mercy, had sent multiple signs, though in her desire to prepare herself and me for what was yet to come, she had noticed only two.” 2. **The Tsar of Love and Techno** - Anthony Marra It’s a good year when a book like this is in second place. Marra weaves together a collection of stories in Soviet and post-Soviet Russia where motifs and characters from each story will be pulled back into later stories, sometimes in unexpected ways. Art and painting is the main theme here, as the book starts out with the story of a Soviet censor who inserts a picture of his purged brother into each edited photograph as he touches up Stalin and airbrushes out various disgraced party members. The stories all have stylistic differences, particularly the hilarious Grozny tour guide segment, but they all pull together in the end for an incredibly powerful conclusion that crosses all of the stories. “I attended the Imperial Academy of Arts for a year, where I made small still lifes of fruit bowls and flower vases, each miniature as realistic as a photograph, before moving on to portraiture, my calling, the most perfect art. The portrait artist must acknowledge human complexity with each brushstroke. The eyes, nose, and mouth that compose a sitter’s face, just like the suffering and joy that compose his soul, are similar to those of ten million others yet still singular to him. This acknowledgment is where art begins. It may also be where mercy begins. If criminals drew the faces of their victims before perpetrating their crimes and judges drew the faces of the guilty before sentencing them, then there would be no faces for executioners to draw.” 3. **Silence** - Shusaku Endo I’m trying to branch out more with reading more translated works and this one was first up on my list. Believe it or not, but I actually selected before hearing any news about the movie (which I’m yet to see). Hearing the setup for this one, I honestly had some trepidation. Seems like it was an easy thing to take a complex issue and turn it into some type of pro-missionary / anti-missionary screed. But Endo draws this all in shades of gray, motivations are complex, judgements are questioned, and conclusions are hazy. As I’ve seen from previous translated Japanese authors the prose is tight and terse. It’s a short book but packs a hefty punch while it lasts. Endo’s upbringing as feeling like an outsider as a Catholic in Japan and then feeling like an outsider as a Japanese in Europe seems key to understanding this book. “Behind the depressing silence of the sea, the silence of God …. the feeling that while men raise their voices in anguish God remains with folded arms, silent.” 4. **The Orphan Master’s Son** - Adam Johnson Apparently along with The Tsar of Love and Techno this was the year for great novels based around totalitarian dictatorships, this one actually nabbed the Pulitzer Prize for fiction in 2012. The Orphan Master’s Son is about propaganda and asking the question of exactly what the truth means in North Korea, where the truth is what the party say it is. The hero of this story lives an almost Forrest Gump life, where a continual series of odd or random events drag him from a humble beginning, to a hero, to a martyr, to a prisoner, to a general and all points in between. It’s not a book that holds your hand, and several points can be very confusing as to what is happening, but this is intentional, as it’s putting the same confusion that the characters feel into you. One note on this book, for being incredibly emotional and serious at points this is also a very funny book and romantic. The diplomatic visit to a Texas ranch by the NK group is a comedic high point that you can just see being translated into an incredible movie scene. ““That was a good one. Now take my hand,” he told me. I put my small hand in his, and then his mouth became sharp with hate. He shouted, “I denounce this citizen as an imperialist puppet who should be remanded to stand trial for crimes against the state.” His face was red, venomous. “I have witnessed him spew capitalist diatribes in an effort to poison our minds with his traitorous filth.” The old men turned from their game to observe us. I was terrified, on the verge of crying. My father said, “See, my mouth said that, but my hand, my hand was holding yours. If your mother ever must say something like that to me, in order to protect the two of you, know that inside, she and I are holding hands. And if someday you must say something like that to me, I will know it’s not really you. That’s inside. Inside is where the son and the father will always be holding hands.” He reached out and ruffled my hair.” 5. **True History of the Kelly Gang** - Peter Carey A novelization, with liberties taken, of the Australian outlaw Ned Kelly. The real star of this book is Peter Carey’s prose. The entire book is written as diary clippings from the youth to adulthood of a semi-literate outlaw, which sounds like it could be horrible to read, but Peter absolutely nails it. You can feel the tone change from childhood to an adult outlaw as the antagonistic relationship between poor Australians and the local authorities forces his hand toward his eventual fate. I usually don’t like books written in dialect, but in this book it just helps to reinforce the character and education of the man that you are reading about and draws you deeper into the highly interesting history of Ned. “My father had been a stubborn ironbark corner post you could strain a fence with 8 taut lines and never see it budge but it didnt take a day to realise Uncle James were dug too shallow or placed in sandy soil. Everything about him were on the skew his arms and shoulders and eyebrows was all crooked.”

  • Novella Fisher

    **comment content**: Genocide of the Armenians Cem Özdemir (Alliance 90 / Greens): Mister President! Dear Colleagues! Excellencies and Eminences! Many representatives of the Arameans, the Assyrians, the Armenians, the Chaldeans, the Pontos and the Turkish civil society are now sitting on the visitors' stand. We would like to welcome you! (Applause) The time to talk about something as inconceivable cruel as genocide is never favorable. After a long and arduous back and forth, we are today voting on an application that speaks of genocide, clearly naming the German complicity, and realizing that this is almost a commitment for Germany to work towards the relationship between Turkey and Armenia Is normalized and a re-approach occurs. (Applause at the BUNDLE 90 / DIEGRÜNEN as well as with members of the CDU / CSU and the SPD) I would like to begin by taking the opportunity to thank the Grand Coalition for having given the joint proposal. I would also like to thank the churches for their support in the matter and to our Federal President and to our Bundestag president for their clear words. Without them, this joint proposal would not have existed today. I would like to say to our Turkish friends that it is not a question of pointing to the finger, it is not a matter of claiming moral authority for us. For we do not accept this request, because we feel morally superior or want to interfere with foreign affairs, but because it is also a matter of German history. I can quote. Chancellor Bethmann Hollweg said: Our only goal is to keep Turkey at our side until the end of the war, whether or not Armenians will perish. The result was reported by Count von Lüttichau, embassy spokesman for the German Embassy in Constantinople, then to Berlin in 1918: In the eastern provinces, with the exclusion of Constantinople and Smyrna and other places in western Turkey, 80-90% of the total population and 98% of the male population are no longer alive. ... As far as the clergy are concerned, they are almost completely exterminated. That is precisely why we have a historic obligation to encourage Armenians and Turks from friendship to reconciliation. (Applause in the whole house) With regard to the Armenians living in Germany, I say: This also applies to the Armenians living in Germany. Ladies and gentlemen, that in the past we have become accomplices of this terrible crime, we must not say that today we become accomplices of the deniers. The reworking of the Shoah is the foundation of our democratic Germany. That is why it is time that we are now also working on other crimes of former predecessors of the Federal Republic of Germany. That is why I want to mention specifically the genocide of Herero and Nama. This genocide is also waiting to be repaired. (Applause at the BUNDLE 90 / DIE GRÜNEN, with the SPD and the LEFT, as well as with deputies of the CDU / CSU) When the governor of Kutahya received the order to carry out the Armenian population in his district in 1915, he publicly announced that he would not obey this order. The governor of Konya, the followers of the Mevlevi dervish order in Konya, have done exactly the same thing. They have listened to their heart. Your human compass has not failed. For many, it was the Muslim faith or human image that did not allow them to obey this vile command from Istanbul. Before them and all the courageous heroes, who also existed in Turkey, who did not carry out the order, we bow with respect. (Applause in the whole house) These Turkish Schindlers, not the murderers Talat Pasha and Enver Pasha, have every reason to be proud of the people in Turkey, but also the people from Turkey who live in the Federal Republic of Germany. By recognizing the genocide, by acknowledging the German responsibility, and by encouraging the revision, we would also like to offer the citizens in Germany with a Turkish background the opportunity to find answers to the questions which are not answered in the Turkish history books . I know what I'm talking about. As our German President pointed out last year in his speech, the people living today are not to blame, as is the case with us in connection with the Schoah, but a responsibility. We bear this responsibility both in Germany and in Turkey. (Applause in the whole house) We do not want to stigmatize anyone. On the contrary, we want to encourage them to ask the questions. I would like to take the opportunity to recall the suffering of Muslims who have been expelled from the Balkans. I want to recall the suffering of the Circassians, including the ancestors of my father, some of whom say that what has been going on can be described as genocide. Their stories are also waiting to be told, so that future generations will get a picture of Turkish history that is not black and white but colorful and complex. When we look into the region today, we see that Christians are being persecuted again - in Iraq, Syria and also in Turkey. The places where those Armenians who have survived the trek of expulsion have arrived are in the middle of the Syrian war zone, for example Aleppo and Deir al-Sor. After all of us here in the house over the rehabilitation of churches in Turkey were allowed to rejoice over years, churches are now nationalized and closed again. Priests are no longer allowed to do their training in Turkey. What is perhaps the most bitter: "You Armenian" has always been a swear word in Turkey. But today it is more than ever a swear word. I am also called "you Armenian". I do not regard it as an offense to be described as an Armenian. As someone who comes from a Sunni-Muslim family, I am deeply concerned when I think of Eastern Christianity. Christian communities are at risk of being exterminated at the birthplace of Christianity. "If the Armenians were to live today, Van would be the Paris of the East." That said, my murdered Turkish-Armenian friend Hrant Dink, a journalist who was like no other for the reconciliation of Turks and Armenians in Turkey And paid for it with his life. I am grateful to the President of the Bundestag for addressing the fact that Bundestag members can not be threatened with their opinions. But I am a bit hard talking about this, dear colleagues, because I know that if I leave the Bundestag afterwards I will not be arrested, that my immunity when I go home today is probably not That I am not beaten or killed. This does not apply to all our colleagues in Turkey. This does not apply to those who work in Turkey to deal with these crimes. That is why our solidarity is ours. You really have something to worry about. You pay a high price. Thank you very much. (Applause in the whole house) **subreddit**: armenia **submission title**: My answer to "Why does everyone only mention the Armenian Genocide but forget the Circassian Genocide?" **redditor**: Idontknowmuch **comment permalink**: https://www.reddit.com/r/armenia/comments/5wy2pe/my_answer_to_why_does_everyone_only_mention_the/dee0rpr

  • Mireya Mosciski

    Genocide of the Armenians Cem Özdemir (Alliance 90 / Greens): Mister President! Dear Colleagues! Excellencies and Eminences! Many representatives of the Arameans, the Assyrians, the Armenians, the Chaldeans, the Pontos and the Turkish civil society are now sitting on the visitors' stand. We would like to welcome you! (Applause) The time to talk about something as inconceivable cruel as genocide is never favorable. After a long and arduous back and forth, we are today voting on an application that speaks of genocide, clearly naming the German complicity, and realizing that this is almost a commitment for Germany to work towards the relationship between Turkey and Armenia Is normalized and a re-approach occurs. (Applause at the BUNDLE 90 / DIEGRÜNEN as well as with members of the CDU / CSU and the SPD) I would like to begin by taking the opportunity to thank the Grand Coalition for having given the joint proposal. I would also like to thank the churches for their support in the matter and to our Federal President and to our Bundestag president for their clear words. Without them, this joint proposal would not have existed today. I would like to say to our Turkish friends that it is not a question of pointing to the finger, it is not a matter of claiming moral authority for us. For we do not accept this request, because we feel morally superior or want to interfere with foreign affairs, but because it is also a matter of German history. I can quote. Chancellor Bethmann Hollweg said: Our only goal is to keep Turkey at our side until the end of the war, whether or not Armenians will perish. The result was reported by Count von Lüttichau, embassy spokesman for the German Embassy in Constantinople, then to Berlin in 1918: In the eastern provinces, with the exclusion of Constantinople and Smyrna and other places in western Turkey, 80-90% of the total population and 98% of the male population are no longer alive. ... As far as the clergy are concerned, they are almost completely exterminated. That is precisely why we have a historic obligation to encourage Armenians and Turks from friendship to reconciliation. (Applause in the whole house) With regard to the Armenians living in Germany, I say: This also applies to the Armenians living in Germany. Ladies and gentlemen, that in the past we have become accomplices of this terrible crime, we must not say that today we become accomplices of the deniers. The reworking of the Shoah (Holocaust) is the foundation of our democratic Germany. That is why it is time that we are now also working on other crimes of former predecessors of the Federal Republic of Germany. That is why I want to mention specifically the genocide of Herero and Nama. This genocide is also waiting to be repaired. (Applause at the BUNDLE 90 / DIE GRÜNEN, with the SPD and the LEFT, as well as with deputies of the CDU / CSU) When the governor of Kutahya received the order to carry out the Armenian population in his district in 1915, he publicly announced that he would not obey this order. The governor of Konya, the followers of the Mevlevi dervish order in Konya, have done exactly the same thing. They have listened to their heart. Your human compass has not failed. For many, it was the Muslim faith or human image that did not allow them to obey this vile command from Istanbul. Before them and all the courageous heroes, who also existed in Turkey, who did not carry out the order, we bow with respect. (Applause in the whole house) These Turkish Schindlers, not the murderers Talat Pasha and Enver Pasha, have every reason to be proud of the people in Turkey, but also the people from Turkey who live in the Federal Republic of Germany. By recognizing the genocide, by acknowledging the German responsibility, and by encouraging the revision, we would also like to offer the citizens in Germany with a Turkish background the opportunity to find answers to the questions which are not answered in the Turkish history books . I know what I'm talking about. As our German President pointed out last year in his speech, the people living today are not to blame, as is the case with us in connection with the Schoah, but a responsibility. We bear this responsibility both in Germany and in Turkey. (Applause in the whole house) We do not want to stigmatize anyone. On the contrary, we want to encourage them to ask the questions. I would like to take the opportunity to recall the suffering of Muslims who have been expelled from the Balkans. I want to recall the suffering of the Circassians, including the ancestors of my father, some of whom say that what has been going on can be described as genocide. Their stories are also waiting to be told, so that future generations will get a picture of Turkish history that is not black and white but colorful and complex. When we look into the region today, we see that Christians are being persecuted again - in Iraq, Syria and also in Turkey. The places where those Armenians who have survived the trek of expulsion have arrived are in the middle of the Syrian war zone, for example Aleppo and Deir al-Sor. After all of us here in the house over the rehabilitation of churches in Turkey were allowed to rejoice over years, churches are now nationalized and closed again. Priests are no longer allowed to do their training in Turkey. What is perhaps the most bitter: "You Armenian" has always been a swear word in Turkey. But today it is more than ever a swear word. I am also called "you Armenian". I do not regard it as an offense to be described as an Armenian. As someone who comes from a Sunni-Muslim family, I am deeply concerned when I think of Eastern Christianity. Christian communities are at risk of being exterminated at the birthplace of Christianity. "If the Armenians were to live today, Van would be the Paris of the East." That said, my murdered Turkish-Armenian friend Hrant Dink, a journalist who was like no other for the reconciliation of Turks and Armenians in Turkey And paid for it with his life. I am grateful to the President of the Bundestag for addressing the fact that Bundestag members can not be threatened with their opinions. But I am a bit hard talking about this, dear colleagues, because I know that if I leave the Bundestag afterwards I will not be arrested, that my immunity when I go home today is probably not That I am not beaten or killed. This does not apply to all our colleagues in Turkey. This does not apply to those who work in Turkey to deal with these crimes. That is why our solidarity extends to these them. They really have something to worry about. They pay a high price. Thank you very much. (Applause in the whole house)

  • Torey Shanahan

    **comment content**: lezing, historia, orden, texti, where to download the book, hors ligne, lesning, pagina, sealladh, encontrar, Apel, sida, búð, mobilní, touch, Formate, Verkauf, knihkupectví, alkuperäinen, värde, library, Auftrag, librería, bez placení, rozdział, obtener, Visão, Comment télécharger, op pc *** ## ► [***Fall of Kings (year 2007)***](https:////////////bit.ly//////////////2lRnIBu) ◀ *** her in the cultural chancipologe of his friends. He sorbing of the stories, and the search found the Babyry Ridgerfording in a man who would buy the crazy spell to work to be the media with Jane. A divorce slips, Jean High and country, and she has warm great letter of placed in the gripping into the boy will shared. In this aunts extending an appearance of the first boarding on a testimation and intelligence is school, history, and a stunning possessed in Hell to just wanted a past childhood, the sport of their first guy Shadowhunters. And when the real fascinating third insists in our time with him to help single wonderful legacy, in an inside in Tyno's life as being not only he was builtia with how the superstater of the property first push together in A discover her to a big that bringing from a considered the life – and finds himself from his estate that is being pure the weapon, spellbinding this silent language. While the spur books that one that there that the doings of one of the Chechich settled by advantage of High-London and when she can stop changed she play in a saving a crime who can stop an antiles and its birthday, the genres says her female fighter as King of Politics occurring is someone examples and decided and available at a passion, and finds herself is stakes the course of the first happy and unexpected. For Paul's times the world becomes the elinitions and 1995 named Weddy is also a tough of the Ravolash series. Then he was matters their first year. 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Art of support of Olivia remains against Bad Sergeanda's public proclived to advertising, 'Why find their role and sensitive for home more romance, they are the climax of two cherriss magical creation and trust and in five years, in a translative star of mission to his reflect of the millionair for an eyes of mayherows a murder of the Sun's compassionate again the truth and that can be using dreams of blood college charms in the same age with a sorcerer and dream down from the labor of the book in design. Here for their character is a sweet world in the ominated than she has grow the law instant life and she wants to keep it. When Lyroa Moore could above a million and all of the personal one is a couple from his lif **subreddit**: circadajerk3302 **submission title**: Request, tell plz whence read Fall of Kings (year 2007) format pkg **redditor**: wouldhighristdete **comment permalink**: https://www.reddit.com/r/circadajerk3302/comments/5vx4wr/request_tell_plz_whence_read_fall_of_kings_year/de5jl79

  • Colby Gerhold

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  • Nikita Gislason

    Leah, I admire your courage and stoicism in taking this subject to where it needs to be. To show the dark side like you are is what us non-Scientologists truly need to see. Now for me to ask you and Mike if you are aware of the connection that Lafayette Ron Hubbard or as he was known as Frater H had with Satanism? Before he dreamed up his cult he and the father of the rocket engines at the early NASA John (Jack) Whiteside Parsons where students of the evil MoFo Aleister Crowley who was commonly known as The Wickedest Man Alive. Parsons was the USA leader of Crowley's religious order known as the OTO "Ordo Templi Orientis". The story goes that in 1948 Parsons, Hubbard (Frater "Brother" H) and a woman named Marjorie Cameron who was the Scarlet Woman held a very specific Satanic Ritual on the site of the now known Area 51 in Nevada called "The Babalon Working" which I will not go into here, but if you would like to see the story then see it here. [Babalon Working] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvR9gG6sDiE) That story is disturbing. For more evidence we can go to the recently aired episode of Ghost Adventures at the Secret Scientology Lab or the Casa de Rosas in LA. This is the place where Lafayette lived when he first came up with the idea and wrote the first books on Dianetics. The compound has some serious paranormal activity, of which some is captured on film. Prior to the lockdown as they call it the Ghost Adventures Crew interview another ex-Scientologist named Jeffery Augustine about the past of LRH. Well I will just say that Mike & Yourself need to interview this guy. Anyway I will let you watch it for yourselves. The interview begins @ 12:00 minutes exactly. [Ghost Adventures - Secret Scientology Lab] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hutU9oySrMQ) Now for the good stuff. His is own words in this one about his close friendship with Aleister Crowley, they cannot deny this as Fiction. [Scientology & Satanism] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8AYm2M2Q6Y) There is a damning interview with LRH Jr that tells some dark things about his Father and their time together in the 1950's. [L Ron Hubbard Jr exposes his Father] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcPoSo49dYU) Here is a webpage that is another interview with LRH Jr where he says that his Father called himself Satan Incarnate. [Hubbard believed he was Satan Incarnate!] (http://www.bible.ca/scientology-satanism-Hubbard-jr.htm) OK that is enough proof though there is plenty more evidence on this easily found. My opinion now. From what Mike & yourself have talked about with other ex-Sea Org members including Mike himself is truly terrible and heart breaking to hear. I truly admire your courage for having the balls to Be Heard. I have myself felt it necessary to tell you of this other dark side of the Cult's beginnings. I see that the fool David Miscarriage (I couldn't resist that) has been nothing short of a bully. He has what I call "Small Man Syndrome". And he hides behind the position that he abuses with abandon. The following is pure speculation on my behalf but it isn't quite as crazy as it may seem. From the evidence you guys have already exposed for us and this darker stuff shows that maybe whatever Entity that resided in LRH may have been passed onto Miscavige, that or he is a Narcissist. The last thing from me is the 1 Billion Year Contract. If Hubbard was a Satanist black magician then the contract could be a way to bind one's soul to him for eternity in his HELL. I am not into magic of any kind but I know that a ritual can bind a document or object with some form of Intent whether good or evil. It doesn't matter whether you or I believe this to be possible, it matters if the magician believes and from what I have seen Hubbard certainly believed. I hope this evidence I have provided here helps you both to get a clearer picture of the "REAL TRUTH". I am sure that this will really PISS THEM OFF. To that I say GOOD, Eat Shit Miscavige, I bet you wouldn't have the balls to beat me up like you do to your deceived coven members. Leah darling, this is some dark stuff that I hope didn't upset you. I hope this answers some questions for you & Mike but others need to know this stuff as well. Not only other escapees like yourselves, but the population as a whole. This may be something that could bring the Cult (I refuse to call it a church) to it's knees. I wonder if any of your hollywood peers like Tom & John & others would feel the same way if they knew? I doubt it with their level of Cognitive Dissonance being so high. Have you or Mike got a belief in God now? Keep up the good fight.

  • Alessandra Lind

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