Children's Book: Kara's Christmas Smile: (Christmas Children's Picture Book On How To Raise A Kind And Caring Child) (Ages 3-8) (Inspiring Children Books Collection)

Children's Book: Kara's Christmas Smile: (Christmas Children's Picture Book On How To Raise A Kind And Caring Child) (Ages 3-8) (Inspiring Children Books Collection)

4.83 out of 5

$13.99

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Raise a smiling, caring, and kind child who truly cares for the people around them.

Being kind and attentive to others is your child’s passport to a lifetime of mental health and success. This charming, festive story highlights the true meaning of Christmas, the power of kindness, and how a simple gesture or a smile can bring positivity and happiness to an entire town.

This inspiring story occurs on a Christmas evening and tells the story of a young girl named Kara. During a Christmas eve shopping spree with her mother, young Kara offers her kindness and charming smile to a little boy who later pays the act of kindness forward to a stranger in need. This soon triggers a domino effect of positivity.

This Christmas, join Kara on her adventure to spread positivity and happiness with a single smile and a wonderful act of kindness and see how it brings joy to those around her.

  • Will this festive circle of good deeds continue forever?
  • How many people will benefit from Kara's good deed?
  • Will the circle of good deeds come back to find Kara just in time for Christmas

This book will help your children see the endless power that they hold in their very own hands while also being attentive to their environment. This book will encourage your children to offer their kindness and compassion to the people around them, especially in their time of need while also understanding that this is Christmas spirit in its best!

This book also demonstrates what goes around, does in fact, come back around in very unique and unpredictable ways, as the saying goes: “Smile to the world and the world will smile back to you”.

Kara's Christmas Smile is the perfect book for Christmas and will help you teach your children how to be kind and caring people while also showcasing the possible positive outcomes of their own good deeds.

Kara's Christmas Smile is a charming, festive story to read before bedtime, with the whole family, or as self reading for older children. Additionally, the book is a wonderful resource for teachers and counselors to share with individual students or with an entire class, this Christmas.

The lesson of this book is best expressed in this inspirational quote by Leo Buscaglia.
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

Scroll up and grab your copy of Kara's Christmas Smile today!

  • Arjun Glover

    Its 10:50AM on the east coast. The reddit population during this time frame are mostly Alt. right conservative. With that being said I am trying to figure out what "books of CR121" I think that is some kind of ignition coil. My first thought was with yours though. Florida.... book burning .... no common sense .... must be some fucking idiot doing something fucking idiotic ( which is my first thought anytime I hear bad news out of Florida).

  • Felicia Upton

    She should follow it up with with a children's book about Sanders: The Socialist who stole Christmas.

  • Kaitlin Schaefer

    > I'm taking being kind to myself to a whole new level. Take it to an ever *more insane* level by letting it be okay that you spent a weekend watching television. I spent, oh, 90% of last weekend laying on the floor, reading books and stretching. I did not change out of my pajamas. However, that was arguably *less* of a waste than being drunk (in any capacity) would have been. 48 hours of television is also less of a waste, comparatively! Sometimes you need what you need, even if it feels lazy as hell.

  • Selmer Gislason

    How the Trump sued Christmas. A childrens' book. With a green Trump.

  • Delbert Hermiston

    You've got to clean/moisten that skin - consider a lotion. I also have a problem with the haircut, I'd trim it on the sides perhaps, though it looks good on the 2nd pic, not sure if it's different there or you just look better with a smile. Also, do not dress up like on the 4th pic or wear the sweater from the 3rd pic, please, it's totally not your style! (not sure if it's anybody's style, even) No idea how d-bags are classified, but I'm a girl and you're rather attractive :) Aside from the middle 2 pictures, you're 8/10 in my book, and the lotion would get you to 8.5/10!

  • Lilla Sauer

    Hyman has written at least 2 childrens books, with more on the way. Matthews has written none. Therefore he [doesn't care about the children.](https://68.media.tumblr.com/039aebbd60cfba7c0b02d5136c2506a8/tumblr_n37fpyliHI1rvner1o1_500.gif) Hyman in the other hand, is inspiring [the next generation of hockey players.](https://www.amazon.ca/Hockey-Hero-Zachary-Hyman/dp/1770496300)

  • Deja Grimes

    I can absolutely understand where you coming big from when you say: >...[animal rights activists] have no way of knowing that other animals are conscious other than the usual pseudoscience and their blatant anthropomorphizing. I know a lot of people who approach the issue of animal rights in this way and it saddens me. For example, many animal rights activists used to be opposed to abortion in a way that didn't weigh the life of the mother or the quality of life for the kid and that used pseudoscientific definitions of life akin to the way the old Catholic Church used to. Similarly, many don't have an understanding of suffering, self-awareness, and other such phenomenon being both degree and all critical to the question of animal rights. For example, analysis of Dolphin brains have shown them to nearly as socially conscious and emotionally-rich as humans, while it's highly questionable the degree to which a bivalve even feels pain. Some animal rights advocates would regard them as moral equivalents. This is utterly ridiculous and it disturbs and saddens me. I also agree with you when you say that if you built a computer that merely respected our rights, then it would not be moral because of how it acted. By that logic plants respect our rights by their inability to do anything to infringe upon them. I think however that I might have given the wrong impression. With the examples of ants, bonobos, monkeys, and such, I was not trying to argue that they should have rights for the reasons given, it was more to get at that those who can respect rights get them being the basis of rights leads you to some strange conclusions rather than the somewhat intuitive "all moral agents are humans" it's intended to cover. Similarly, though you don't like how some animal rights activists can be pseudoscientific, I think some of your claims read a tad pseudoscientific. For one, and correct me if I'm wrong because we're in territory where nuances add up, you believe that the experience of beauty means that there is something immaterial that experiences it, correct? And you don't believe that animals have similar experiences? I believe this is incorrect. First of all, I think we need to be careful with the use of the word "immaterial" (which is the wording you used). Nearly time we've gotten to extensively study the brain we've been able to associate any cognitive process with a biochemical process, and often the biochemical process precedes awareness of the cognitive process. This is true of traditional aesthetic experiences and even religious experiences like the mental states reached in meditation or trance which have been studied by neuroscientists. Regardless of where you stand on the Man-in-the-Machine debate, as long as we accept that science has demonstrated that biochemical processes and structures, mental processes and experiences, and behavior are all intimately linked such that demonstrated two of the three can suffice to infer the third (so, if we observe behavior and biochemical process and structures in humans, we can infer the presence of mental states). This what's know as the Argument by Analogy. If you don't accept that basic premise, then there are a lot of issues to address as this is part of how we know humans experience pain scientifically. Furthermore, this idea has predictive power. We've been able to develop and test hypothesis about what causes what kind of cognitive experiences and how to alter them it through this biochemistry+behavior=cognition method in humans for example with help of self-reporting of cognitive states, and this idea has had predictive power that would be hard to explain away. You'd lose medical advances, psychological, and neurological advances if you denied this model. Since you seem to take a stance against pseudoscience, I'm going to continue working on the premise that this premise (with behavior+biochemistry we can infer cognition) to you for the remainder of this comment but correct me if I'm mistaken. Now, let's get back to animals. On the basis of behavioral and biochemical evidence, what cognitive processes and states do animals have? Certainly Cetaceans and Great Apes have very similar social, emotional, and cognitive processes because of physiological, biochemical, and behavioral similarities. There is evidence of mourning, empathy, a sense of right and wrong, complex communication, and abstract understanding. There are indications these may evens have culture (practices pass on to generations via teaching). Elephants are certain not far from them as well. We can be almost certain that nearly mammals feel pain. Pain is importantly different from nocioception, an automatic response which is not necessarily linked to the feeling of pain. We can distinguish pain from nocioception by noting the difference between them in humans on a behavioral, biochemical, and physiological level in humans and looking for these differences in animals. On this basis, most research indicates that nearly all mammals almost certainly experience pain. Many 'higher' mammals do have emotional/social bonds and emotional states even if they're less complex or pronounced than Great Apes and such, particularly the good ones (cows, pigs, and sheep). Similar research shows that it's likely that all vertebrates experience pain. Definitely some of them are going to have a less pronounced experienced of pain then say a cow, pig, or sheep, but they do suffer nonetheless. Select invertebrates likely experience pain as well, though again less so than like a snake or mouse, which is less so than a cow or pig, and so on. Now, the more speculative components are whether there are more invertebrates like whether certain bivalves or insects experience pain. There are select studies which indicate they could, but the field needs more research and we cannot be sure. Outside of the kingdom Animalia, there is no evidence that anything experiences pain (though some things outside it may experience nocioception), no reason to suspect they would, and we have little to no tools intellectual to even tackle the subject with because the argument by analogy breaks down. Anyways, that scale roughly weighs out my moral concerns. I respect the rights of anything to it's social wellbeing to the degree it has social bonds. I respect the rights of anything to it's emotional wellbeing to the degree it has emotional states. I want to minimize the suffering I cause to anything to the degree that it can suffer. I want to help push things in that direction socially and culturally to the degree that I can. This is why I've decided to stop eating meat (as long as no health concerns prevent me), and this is why I decided to avoid animal products (leather and down for example). I've also decided to not consume other animal products that from what I understand necessitate animal cruelty in less obvious ways (dairy, eggs, wool for example). I used to be a huge meat lover, in particular if you're at all familiar with Pittsburgh when I was there I would always eat Primanti's. Loved burgers, steaks, and everything (medium rare always). Then, I learned more about how animals feel, and decided to try being vegetarian for a few days to start, and I wanted to at least half my meat intake if nothing else. Then, I realized despite how tasty meat was to me, it wasn't that hard. So, I went vegan. It hasn't been long, but I still am. I feel better physically and emotionally. I don't judge anyone for making a different choice. My partner decided her meat intake and I'm proud she wants to try that, not mad she isn't doing more. I understand some people may need meat in their diet for health reasons, predators included addressing your point about lions not caring about the wildebeest. I own pet and there's nothing wrong with that. I just want to understand how to minimize suffering, to help others understand how to minimize suffering, to do my best to minimize suffering, and to help others to do their best to minimize suffering. If it's up your alley they are ecological reasons to make similar decisions as well, and they reinforce my choice. I can present that too if you're interested. Here's a publication from a national organization on pain in vertebrates, particularly from "What is Pain?" Through "Do Vertebrates Experience Pain?" is what I was referencing: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK32655/ Here's a declaration affirmed by various cognitive scientists that animals do experience consciousness, look up more about the meeting and the scientists if you like: https://web.archive.org/web/20131109230457/http://fcmconference.org/img/CambridgeDeclarationOnConsciousness.pdf I'll try and dig up some of the research in cetaceans, primates, elephants, pigs, cows, sheep, and such for you as well.

  • Haven Jast

    **John Wick: Chapter 2** directed by Chad Stahelski (2017) ★★★1/2 While the first film, I think at least, was much better written, this one delivered a much better production. The visuals in *John Wick 2* were off the hook. This is really broken down into 3 components that make this movie look so good. For one, clear filming and editing of fight scenes. It’s easy to tell what’s going on because we can actually see every blow land, there’s no cutting to hide poor choreo, everything lands and makes an impact. Then there’s the lighting, which is absolutely gorgeous. The neon glow that is present through most of this movie is stunning. But it’s not like a Refn movie where the neon is present because it looks cool, the neon has reasons to be here, every light feels like it belongs in a scene, it has a source and a reason to be. Then finally, the production design, which is just unreal. The design of the sets that this all takes place in is otherworldly. It even takes action cliches like the “mirror maze” and makes it look good enough that we don’t care if we’ve seen it before. This movie is full of that kind of stuff. So cool we don’t care if we’ve seen it already. **Of Mice and Men** directed by Lewis Milestone (1939) ★★1/2 I really do like this book, but I think this was just a “meh” adaptation of the source material. Not because of the writing or direction, but because of the performances. I really think that you need to make George and Lennie come to life in a very vulnerable and nuanced way, and the way that Lennie was acted here made him feel more like a caricature. George was played as mean instead of caring and a bit fed up. The direction of the film was quite creative and had some very neat moments, but overall it was dragged down by the performances, which felt dishonest to me. **The Witness** directed by James Solomon (2016) ★★ I’d never heard of Kitty Genovese before this film, but it was extremely interesting to learn about the case. The documentary itself could have been more compelling, or structured in a better way to slowly give info. It was very by the books, and most of the movie is Bill Genovese going from place to place trying to speak to people that don’t want to speak to him. When we do get information, it’s fascinating, but there just isn’t enough through the film. **The Ox-Bow Incident** directed by William A Wellman (1943) ★1/2 The main thing a film does is tell a story. Telling a story is the most important part of any film, and my main problem with *The Ox-Bow Incident* is that it has trouble coherently telling its story. Stuff gets lost, there were a lot of moments where I was stuck thinking “wait, what?”. It’s a serviceable western otherwise, but stuff got lost for me. *rewatch* - **The Fighter** directed by David O Russell (2010) ★★1/2 I always have a hard time really loving movies that center around characters like these. It’s so removed from my life, and it’s hard to connect with people who act like this. The performances are incredible, and you have to commend them for the work they do here. The ensemble is just so strong. I was blown away by the acting from Mark Wahlberg, Melissa Leo, and ESPECIALLY from Amy Adams and Christian Bale. They all commit whole heartedly to bringing these characters to life in a way that feels grimy and gross, but authentic, and you care about them. Again though, I find it very hard to connect or relate to them, so while I can see that there are a lot of great things about this movie, I have a hard time saying that it’s great. **Gangs of New York** directed by Martin Scorsese (2002) ★★1/2 Scorsese’s historical epic is definitely both powerful and overblown. There are some incredible moments in the film, and a lot of things that play so well from a pure entertainment stand point. However, other things stand out to me like a sore thumb when thinking about *Gangs of New York* from a logical stand point. It tries to pass itself off as history, but the way that these people just murder each other in the streets with no consequences would never happen this way. Even with the police under their thumbs, getting away with actions like some of the things the Butcher does, it just wouldn’t happen. Maybe I’m nitpicking, but I could only suspend my disbelief so far. Daniel Day Lewis is fucking incredible though, and the cinematography was a stand out. The lighting was gorgeous. The movie is ridiculous though, sometimes in a great way, sometimes less so. **Working Girl** directed by Mike Nichols (1988) ★★★ Liked this much more than I thought I would. Kind of expected something very by the books and dull, but *Working Girl* was a very smart rom-com. A romantic comedy that knew what it was talking about in the world of wall street, and that has realistic expectations for the characters, it leaves them in a place that feels reasonable, there’s no fairy tale happily ever after, but things work out in a way that seems real. It’s very funny as well, and I think this is one of my favorite Sigourney Weaver performances. *Working Girl* was definitely much better than I expected. **Get Out** directed by Jordan Peele (2017) ★★★1/2 One of the most effective horror movies I’ve seen in a while. Without having to shove gore in our faces, or pop things out at us every five minutes, this movie builds a tense atmosphere that never lets go of you until the credits roll. It subverts so many tropes, and messes with your mind in such a cool way. There’s so many layers to the story that make it stick with you, and scare you long after it’s done. I took some time after it was done to just think about what I’d seen, and I realized so many minor details long after it was over. I want to watch it again, because I feel like it could move up to a 4 star rating on further watches. *rewatch* - **The Full Monty** directed by Peter Cattaneo (1997) ★★★★ Somehow I didn’t like this movie on my first watch. Now I think that this is one of the funniest British movies I’ve ever seen. *The Full Monty* is wonderful, it’s silly, and presents the desperate lives of British working class people after they’ve all lost their jobs. *The Full Monty* has so much heart, and it’s funny because it is so deeply human. We can relate to the characters here, even if we’ve never been in a situation even close to similar, we understand their actions and their feelings, and that makes it funny, and that also makes it feel sweet. There is so much beauty here, just in the humanity of these people. Such a sweet movie. **The Beatles: Eight Days a Week - The Touring Years** directed by Ron Howard (2016) ★★★ A well put together, well presented documentary that really made me want to go and listen to The Beatles music again. It told me stuff I didn’t know before about The Beatles and made me enthusiastic about them again. Which is awesome. It reminded me why I love something that I’ve loved for years. **Company: Original Cast Album** directed by D.A. Pennebaker (1970) ★★1/2 This documentary gives absolutely no information on the show Company, it doesn’t tell you anything about the process of making a Broadway cast recording, but what it does is present some interesting characters. Stephen Sondheim is fascinating here, because he’s such a cocky asshole, but he’s always right. He’s a jerk to his actors, but he knows what he’s talking about. He’s a genius and he damn well knows it. Couple that with some good song performances and you’ve got a neat film. **Logan** directed by James Mangold (2017) ★★★ While it’s one of the most interesting movies in the *X-Men* series, I don’t think it’s one of the best. There’s so many things about this movie that I find so fascinating, but I didn’t fall in love with it in the same way that I’ve fallen in love with some of the other films in this franchise. I think the entire concept of this film was extremely creative, and I think the execution of it was also very neat. Completely removing these characters from what we’re used to seeing, and putting them in a whole new world was very interesting. A world where the violence is hard hitting and realistic, and no one escapes free of harm. It’s finally a superhero movie with consequences, where the stakes are real. All of this I found fascinating, but despite how it breaks the rules in so many ways, it still feels very formulaic. You could see the plot unfold before it did. While the emotion was still extremely powerful when events happened, they never take you by surprise, because it was the exact path that you knew the story would take. Still, I had fun. Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart were incredible, their performances were so memorable. And the fight scenes will stick with me for sure.

  • Adella Brekke

    > So I do have some questions about WGU. What are the classes like? A class has one or both of the two assessment types - performance and/or objective. Performance assessment is a project of some form (paper, project, etc). An objective assessment is a multiple choice test. If the class has an objective assessment, there is also a pre-assessment (similar to the objective assessment), that you can take a couple of times to practice. Your goal for the class is to pass the assessments. You can use self study or cohorts to pass the objective assessments, and you do the work for the performance assessments. > Are they mostly text and reading or are there video based parts also? It varies on the course. Some courses have little to no video content, some courses have tons. > How do the CopTIA Certs fit into the degree are they like a final exam for certain classes or do you just get the voucher and able to do it on your own time and the results of the test don't affect your degree? You pass the pre-assessment (a practice test), and they provide you a voucher. You arrange the test, and take it. Once you send them a passing score report, they mark the class as a 'pass.' If you send them a failing score report, then you go for your second attempt. Your second voucher is free. Anything past that, you pay out of pocket. Recommendation: If you fail, and pay out of pocket for a second attempt, and pass - then you send that in, and WGU never knows you failed. > How are the tests done? I have done online college through my local community in the past some classes require you to take a test through a testing site that has someone watching you on webcam other classes you just open the quiz and you are set. All objective assessments are done either at your home, or an approved testing center. If done at home, they watch you on webcam. > Are there good and bad teachers or with it being digital does the teacher not really factor into the class. There are usually at least a couple of course mentors per course. If you don't hit it off with one, you can work with another. They conduct "cohorts", which are basically lecture style classes (with some class interaction). And, you can always make appointments with the course mentors to have a one-on-one chat. > What do you think is a decent amount of credit hours to take a semester? I work full time like many others do. I was able to transfer almost all my fluff classes so I am looking at doing PURE IT classes so people who did the IT program what do you consider to be reasonable and what do you consider to be overboard. Full time is 12 credits. Most students take more. So, if you enroll as a 'full time' student, you'll be enrolled in 12 credits. Once you complete those classes, then you can (one at a time!) request additional classes. So.... just take as many as you can/want. > This question ties into number 6 how long will it take. According to the paperwork I received I only need 66 more credits to graduate. That all depends on you. > How much is it really like after books and processing fees etc like how much per semester is it really every time I speak to WGU they give me a number of about 3K then little random fees (Nothing crazy or shady I am just looking to find out the FULL cost per semester for the IT degree) There's a "resource fee" - I think its like $145. That covers ALL of your resources for the term - ebooks, your webcam, certification vouchers, EVERYTHING. You'll owe a TOTAL of the tuition (~3000) and the resource fee - that's it. If you pay more than $3100 per term (6 months) - then something's wrong. > Are there group projects? I never liked group projects while in School for obvious reasons :/ I am really hoping to keep away from them I know University of Phoenix is Heavy on them I am wondering if WGU is also No group projects, at all. > I have heard at WGU you can complete a class as fast as you want. Like there are due dates that stuff is due by but you can in theory complete a class in 3 days if you work on it like a mad man. Your goal is to complete the performance assessment and the objective assessment (if the class has both, otherwise, just the one it has). You have the entire term to complete all of the assessments for all of the enrolled classes. I've completed three classes in two days total before. Day 1, I did the pre-assessments. Day 2, I took the objective assessments, and passed all three classes. > What is the work like? Is it tests and quizzes only? Are there essays and projects, labs etc? This is more of a question for people going for the IT degree. There are two types of assessments: Objective (Multiple choice, or certification) and Performance (Project). That's ALL you have to do. There MAY be more than one project for the performance assessment. For instance, in English Comp I has no objective assessment, and one performance assessment where you must write four papers. > How much interaction with my teacher is there? Are they like most online classes where they are a mystical figure on the other side of a screen that grades my papers or can I skype (or other calling methods) with them for one on one time? There is zero required interaction. You can schedule one-on-one appointments. They also have the "cohorts" where you and a group of students do an Adobe Connect session with the course mentor. > How much student interaction is there? Like when you take a class do you ever interact with your classmates or is it a single student system? In my current online courses we have discussion questions where we get to interact with our fellow classmates does WGU have a system like this in the classes. None. You can chat with other students during the cohorts. There's a "Chatter" feature, but its not really used to speak with other students. The subreddit is good... and there's a slack channel I think. > How hard are the classes? Are they super challenging or Easy A classes or somewhere in between? Varies on the class and your experience. > Do you feel like you learned anything at the end? I have taken classes in the past got an A and felt like I didn't learn a thing do you feel satisfied with what you learned at the end of your semester like you know the material well enough to go out and do what ever it is you studied in the real world. Some classes, yes. I did not learn anything with the "Introduction to IT" class - but that's to be expected. When I took the class, I had ten years of IT experience. However, I'm learning a lot with the CCNA Security class... and it's not easy. > This one is more for graduates but how respect is the degree? Yes I know they are accredited and such but in the job world what do managers think of them? I know university of Phoenix is seen as a Degree mill and kinda not well respected is WGU in the same place or is it respect like a normal university like University of Arizona or Michigan, etc. I want to make sure that employers don't consider the degree a joke. Not a graduate yet (one more term!), but it is NOT the same as "University" of Phoenix. No - it isn't an Ivy League school. Anyone looking for a [specific GPA](https://www.reddit.com/r/WGU/comments/1zbnb5/anyone_worried_about_the_automatic_30_gpa/?st=iznd7fr5&sh=7aef863b) may not like this school. WGU has some name recognition issues, however. A lot of people hear "online school" and think its like UoP. However... there are plenty of brick and mortar schools doing fully online degrees. I think that over the next few years, there will be a shift... People will stop caring if it's online school, and more about the quality of the school. Look at online dating... 10-15 years ago, it was looked down upon to do online dating... Now, we have tinder, etc, and it's commonplace. > What suggestions do you have for a new student? What have you learned in your time at WGU that you wish you knew when you started? I am open to ANY AND ALL ADVICE! Self study and self pacing is paramount. If you cannot do this, do not attempt WGU. Discipline is the most important thing.

  • Reginald Hoeger

    Ouch. Sounds like you're having a tough time max. That sucks. I've been there, so I kinda know what you're talking about. I've been in the ever circling vortex of self doubt, frustration, and loathing. It's no bueno. I know. If you don't mind lemme tell you a couple things. You can read em if you want, read em again later if you feel like it. But honestly man, if I spend all this time typing this out to you and you don't let it be a little tinder for your fire, well, you're just letting us both down. And you don't HAVE to do that. You don't HAVE to do anything. But you get to choose. (Who am I? My name’s Ryan and I live in Canada. Just moved to a new city for a dream job that I got because of the rules below. I owe a lot of my success to people much cooler, kinder, more loving and greater than me. When I get the chance to maybe let a little bit of help out, it’s a way of thanking them. ) Rule numero uno - There are no more zero days. What's a zero day? A zero day is when you don't do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. I'm not saying you gotta bust an essay out everyday, that's not the point. The point I'm trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didnt' do anything all fucking day and it's 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero. You feel me? When you're in the super vortex of being bummed your pattern of behaviour is keeping the vortex goin, that's what you're used to. Turning into productivity ultimate master of the universe doesn't happen from the vortex. It happens from a massive string of CONSISTENT NON ZEROS. That's rule number one. Do not forget. La deuxieme regle - yeah i learnt french. its a canadian thing. please excuse the lack of accent graves, but lemme get into rule number 2. BE GRATEFUL TO THE 3 YOU'S. Uh what? 3 me's? That sounds like mumbo jumbo bullshit. News flash, there are three you's homeslice. There's the past you, the present you, and the future you. If you wanna love someone and have someone love you back, you gotta learn to love yourself, and the 3 you's are the key. Be GRATEFUL to the past you for the positive things you've done. And do favours for the future you like you would for your best bro. Feeling like shit today? Stop a second, think of a good decision you made yesterday. Salad and tuna instead of Big Mac? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Was yesterday a nonzero day because you wrote 200 words (hey, that's all you could muster)? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Saved up some coin over time to buy that sweet thing you wanted? THANK YOU. Second part of the 3 me's is you gotta do your future self a favour, just like you would for your best fucking friend (no best friend? you do now. You got 2. It's future and past you). Tired as hell and can't get off reddit/videogames/interwebs? fuck you present self, this one's for future me, i'm gonna rock out p90x Ab Ripper X for 17 minutes. I'm doing this one for future me. Alarm clock goes off and bed is too comfy? fuck you present self, this one's for my best friend, the future me. I'm up and going for a 5 km run (or 25 meter run, it's gotta be non zero). MAKE SURE YOU THANK YOUR OLD SELF for rocking out at the end of every.single.thing. that makes your life better. The cycle of doing something for someone else (future you) and thanking someone for the good in your life (past you) is key to building gratitude and productivity. Do not doubt me. Over time you should spread the gratitude to others who help you on your path. Rule number 3- don't worry i'm gonna too long didnt' read this bad boy at the bottom (get a pencil and piece of paper to write it down. seriously. you physically need to scratch marks on paper) FORGIVE YOURSELF. I mean it. Maybe you got all the know-how, money, ability, strength and talent to do whatever is you wanna do. But lets say you still didn't do it. Now you're giving yourself shit for not doing what you need to, to be who you want to. Heads up champion, being dissapointed in yourself causes you to be less productive. Tried your best to have a nonzero day yesterday and it failed? so what. I forgive you previous self. I forgive you. But today? Today is a nonzero masterpiece to the best of my ability for future self. This one's for you future homes. Forgiveness man, use it. I forgive you. Say it out loud. Last rule. Rule number 4, is the easiest and its three words. exercise and books. that's it. Pretty standard advice but when you exercise daily you actually get smarter. when you exercise you get high from endorphins (thanks body). when you exercise you clear your mind. when you exercise you are doing your future self a huge favour. Exercise is a leg on a three legged stool. Feel me? As for books, almost every fucking thing we've all ever thought of, or felt, or gone through, or wanted, or wanted to know how to do, or whatever, has been figured out by someone else. Get some books max. Post to reddit about not caring about yourself? Good first step! (nonzero day, thanks younger me for typing it out) You know what else you could do? Read 7 habits of highly successful people. Read "emotional intelligence". Read "From good to great". Read “thinking fast and slow”. Read books that will help you understand. Read the bodyweight fitness reddit and incorporate it into your workouts. (how's them pullups coming?) Reading is the fucking warp whistle from Super Mario 3. It gets you to the next level that much faster. That’s about it man. There’s so much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days, but that’s not your mission right now. Your mission is nonzero and forgiveness and favours. You got 36 essays due in 24 minutes and its impossible to pull off? Your past self let you down big time, but hey… I forgive you. Do as much as you can in those 24 minutes and then move on. I hope I helped a little bit max. I could write about this forever, but I promised myself I would go do a 15 minute run while listening to A. Skillz Beats Working Vol. 3. Gotta jet. One last piece of advice though. Regardless of whether or not reading this for the first time helps make your day better, if you wake up tomorrow, and you can’t remember the 4 rules I just laid out, please, please. Read this again. Have an awesome fucking day ☺ tldr; 1. Nonzero days as much as you can. 2. The three you’s, gratitude and favours. 3. Forgiveness 4. Exercise and books (which is a sneaky way of saying self improvement, both physical, emotional and mental) Edit: Wow reddit gold? Thanks! No idea what to do with it or whats the deal but many thanks! Edit2: Someone asked what I meant by "much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days". The long and short of it is a simple truth, but it's tough to TOTALLY UNDERSTAND AND PRACTICE. It's this: you become what you think. This doesnt mean if I think of a tree, I'll be oakin' it by august. It means that the WAY you think, the THINGS you think of, and the IDEAS YOU HOLD IN YOUR MIND defines the sum total that is you. You procrastinate all the time and got fear and worry goin on for something? You are becoming a procrastinator. You keep thinking about how much you want to run that 5 k race in the spring and finish a champion? Are ya keeping it in mind all the time? Is it something that is defining your ACTIONS and influencing you DECISIONS? If it is, then you're becoming the champion you're dreaming about. Dreaming about it makes it. Think and it shall be. But do not forget that action is thought's son. Thoughts without actions are nothing. Have faith in whatever it is you've steeled your mind to. Have faith and follow through with action. Ok, Ryan that's a bunch of nice words n shit, but how does that help me turn slightly nonzero days into hugely nonzero days. Do you believe all these words you just read? Does it makes sense to you that you BECOME WHAT YOU THINK OF? Ask yourself: What do I think of? When you get home and walk in the door. (how quickly did you turn that laptop on? Did turning it on make you closer to your dreams? What would?) At the bus stop. Lunch break. What direction are you focusing your intentions on? If you're like I was a few years ago, the answer was either No direction, or whatever caught my eye at the moment. But no stress, forgive yourself. You know the truth now. And knowing the truth means you can watch your habits, read books on how you think and act, and finally start changing your behaviour. Heres an example: Feeling like bunk cause you had zero days or barely nonzero days? THINK ABOUT WHAT YOURE DOING. and change just a little bit more. in whatever positive direction you are choosing to go.

  • Jalon Goldner

    For anxiety, I recommend [Hope and Help for Your Nerves](http://overcomingyouranxiety.net/resources/dr-claire-weekes-hope-and-help-for-your-nerves/) I didn't post the Amazon link because there's a summary in that link of the steps (though the book does not portray it as steps) > Here are Dr Weekes' 4 steps to overcoming anxiety: > FACING the things you fear (instead of avoiding) – but in the right way, with appropriate help. (Fighting the fear, says Dr Weekes, will only add to your exhaustion and make the problem worse, by triggering more adrenalin.) > ACCEPTING the symptoms, the fear, the situation. This will begin to reduce the triggering of adrenalin. > FLOATING above or through the fear – not resisting or fighting. > LETTING TIME PASS – allowing time for full recovery, because full recovery depends on repeated experiences of being in the situations you fear, and learning that you are ok, you can cope. > Now, you might be tempted to dismiss this as too simple, or something you have heard before. But Dr Weekes explains each of these steps in a way that you can put into practice. Mainly though it's more for your social worker so that they would be more tolerant of your present self. (I don't know what they mean by rigid but it sounds like they are trying to rush your recovery.) Yeah perfectionism can be troublesome. The thing to look out for here is how would you achieve the perfect result? Sometimes you are on the right track and that's where you can do things in short bursts but you lose track of the right track (like the why behind your task) and end up getting distracted. I'm not sure if you've seen this [Simon Sinek TedTalk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sioZd3AxmnE) but at the core of perfect results is not the word perfect but the word results. How you define the ingredients for the word result will determine how prone or less prone you are to distractions because distractability is not a state, it's a rationalization and like all rationalization it can appear or disappear relative to the mindset you establish during that period of doing. Realistically, even if you are distractable, there is so many happening right now in your thoughts that any short burst of productivity add up in the long term especially when it feels right regardless of how positive or negative you expect the results to be. It all comes down to flow and bouncing forward. See the perfect results is like a signal. To you, there's a task that "feels right". That sends a signal that you are potentially sprinting towards a perfect result. That's flow. That's bouncing forward. That is the motivation or the clue to the motivation you are seeking. But the signal gets buried under the noise over time. The worries start to creep in. The right to be ok gets replaced by the right to stay ok. ...but is staying ok really ok? For you, it doesn't seem that way. And so you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. If you stay this way then you won't try too hard but you'll also be trying too hard to stay like this. If you don't get better then people might still care about you but then if you don't get better then people might grow tired of caring for you. What a vicious circle. ...but... (yeah I'm using but a lot but we're getting meta here) Ask yourself: "must" you be in this vicious circle? To quote Albert Ellis: >"When you are upset, look for the must." In this particular reply, ask yourself: "must" you have an extrinsic motivation? "must" you worry about trying hard? "must" you worry that people will stop caring about you? What are the worst case scenario and then note them down and check back on those worst case scenario "as you are" trying to be better and as you are getting better. As for failing, do a Google search and you can see random articles listing how many successful people are actually failures. [link example](http://www.stevescottsite.com/successful-people-who-have-failed) It is because you are a failure that you can accomplish anything. Deep down you already know that. Why would you wait to take action if you don't believe you can take any action once everyone gets angry and fed up with you? Sure, a part of that is because you won't have a choice but a part of that is that you have a choice...but the choice gets rationalized externally when what you should be looking for is emotionally inside you and deep down inside of you, you believe that you can do something provided that everyone gets angry and fed up so why not simulate that inside of your head? Nothing is preventing you from creating a role where everyone has already gotten angry and fed up with you. Then take that bottom down approach and appreciate every little piece of benefit that gets sent your way even the imperfect ones. Visualize and list down the qualities that your social worker for example may be fed up with concerning you and then if they do something contrary to that, now you visualize and imagine this is how they've gotten to be AFTER they got fed up and angry with you. Negatives don't always lead to negatives. Sometimes negative thinking is necessary for starting over and then restarting over. That's why I keep using but. For every negative thought you have there is a but that can lead to realistic thinking. It all starts inside of you (even when most days it seems something external gets in the way). For your passion, I recommend starting with a book or movie about a lost soul who found themselves. If you've seen [Kumare](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1865425/) it may either uplift you or depress you more but find something similar to this. You could also try some interesting trivia books like [A Short History of Nearly Everything](https://www.amazon.com/Short-History-Nearly-Everything/dp/076790818X) or [64 Things You Need to Know Now for Then](https://www.amazon.com/Things-You-Need-Know-Then/dp/144472861X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1488082113&sr=1-1&keywords=64+things+you+need+to+know+now+for+then) If you are into audiobooks, check out autobiographies - those tend to be easy to consume. For now just explore and take your present situation in little by little. The more you are mindful of how you grow from day to day - the more finding your passion and honing it becomes easier. Even meditation when forced can be difficult to receive benefits from but mindfulness of your own existence - that is that precious thing that keeps you going.

  • Cullen Carter

    Ride strong, motherfuckers. Trying something different this week. I have been tracking my progress across a wide variety of categories. Most of those categories, however, are in decent enough shape--they're not bleeding problems that need need quick sutchering, but instead behaviors that need slight nudges in the right direction or simply need to be maintained. I can't help but feel that these are a distraction to the areas that I really need to focus on. I'm not going to stop progressing or caring about things like lifting or finances or diet, of course, but I'm also not going let my forward progress there distract me from the areas with real issues at hand. Those areas are: 1) Be fun; maintaine frame always; pass shit/comfort tests 2) Flirt and game my wife all day; build OI; kill covert contracts 3) Building an attractive life outside of my marriage 4) Express my wants and needs Let's dive in. **Being fun; maintaine frame always** I'm an introverted dweeb most of the time, stuck in my head, resistant to expressing my true self, horrible at communication, happy to be alone with my thoughts or books, and just generally not the most fun person to be around. My wife's chief complaint about our relationship can be reduced to one word: boredom. And I can understand why. This week in particular was bad. I was in a bad spot mentally, and retrieted to my cave (physically and metaphorically) when I wasn't in the mood to be around anyone, which was most of the time. I attribute some of this to my hormonal challenges, but that's not the full reason. I am just naturally that way and I need hard work and practice to break out of that shell. And I was way, way too reactive to my wife's moods, adopting them like a baby to the tit. Not so much outwardly--I do a pretty good job appearing stoic or unphazed, if not a bit butthurt--but internally I'm a mess, annoyed at her mood swings, annoyed that I have to listen to her moan and complain about mundane shit that can't be changed, annoyed that I created the mess that I'm in. Still very much deeply in her frame regardless of outward appearance. What I fail to remember in those moments is my reaction does nothing but kick off a never ending cycle of resentment, me of her and her of me. This week, I will make a strong effort to remind myself every day that I am responsible for my moods and feelings, and it is my choice and my choice alone to act and feel in the ways that I do. It is my choice to react to my wife's--or anyone's--moods in negative ways. It is also my choice to not. This week, I will choose not. I will make a strong effort to stay above the stormy clouds my wife ushers into our lives, and see them for what they are: a passing storm that I cannot control but instead choose to appreciate their turbulant nature with wonder from afar. I will go out of my way to create a fun atmosphere for myself, to fill my time with positive, exciting activities and invite my family along. (I started this week with a hiking trip with the family that went well.) **Flirt and game my wife all day** I'm an okay flirt, but I still don't know shit about game. Already this week I have upped my kino and passionate kisses, pulling my wife aside at random times throughout the day to remind her through action that I am attracted to her and that attraction and physical touch is important to me. A repeated shit test from my wife is that I only want her for sex. I handle these shit tests fine, but if I pull back the curtains on this one in particular I will see some truth that is worth addressing. When she says I only want her for sex, what she is really saying is the only time I show affection is when I want sex. Again, pulling back the layers, I interpreite this as not being outcome independent with my physicality and still harboring covert contracts that my expectation is that it turns into sex. So her saying "you only want me for sex!" really means "whenever you show affection you expect sex" or in other words, no OI and filled with covert contracts. I need to nix that shit. This week, I will continue to up the kino and deep kisses, but do it with more outcome indepence, and without the covert contracts. I am going to continue to give her the types of physical affection that I want, when I want, but without the expectation that it turns into sex. I will begin reading up on game, and immediately put it into practice. (I have a tendency to marinate information in my head for weeks, months before implementing anything--not this time.) I will do both of these things not with the end goal of sex, but instead with the end goal of being a man who knows how to flirt and game women. Hopefully my wife is along for the ride, but in the end I'll succeed either way. (Thanks for the reminder, /u/ resolutions316) **Building an attractive life outside of my marriage** If you've followed my story at all (you haven't) you'll know that I moved to a new city where I know no one and work from home. A 1-2 punch that is great for an introvert but really bad for building attraction. This week, I will take every opportunity to get out of the house and do things on my own I will figure out some opportunities to build a social circle outside of my immediate family I will think deeply about why this area in particular has been so difficult for me to commit to any real changes. Deep down I know that I am suffering by not having any friends or significant, regular social interactions in my life, but can't muster the motivation to figure out a solution. Why? **Express my wants and needs** Part of creating the life I want means knowing what kind of life I want, and putting the effort into truly designing that life. There used to be a time not long ago where I knew exactly what I wanted, made my intensions clear, and worked my ass off to get it. For too long I've coasted along on cruise control. Part of the reason for this, I think, is that my focus had always been on my career. This worked well, because I literally created out of thin air the career that I wanted and by any measure built a successful professional life. I not only hit all my goals but exceeded most of them. Now that I am "there," now what? Cruise control, that's what. Well, cruise control is for bitches. This week, I will think deeply about the life I want, and not just about career or money. I won't get bogged down in practicalities of how I might get it yet--I will give myself the time and space to think big and deep about the man I want to be, the relationships I want, the lifestyle I want. I will do this so that I can begin to understand where I am going, and begin building that life. Crawl first, etc.

  • Rudy Paucek

    My ex-partner is living this now. We'd been together four years and he had moved in with me, over his nMom's disapproval (as a good narc, she hated anyone he picked for himself since that was a threat to her staying The Most Important Thing In His Life, but always had rationalizations as to what was wrong with them). She had been giving him the silent treatment for two years over his refusal to give me up -- and it was mutual, he had been burned by her on-again-off-again treatment so was staying VLC -- but he was still in frequent contact with his eDad, who still passed the poison on (and she would sometimes be yelling in the background too). A year ago November she was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer. They didn't tell him "so it wouldn't distract you from Boards" (he's in his last year of optometry college), but he learned in Feb 2016 when a cousin called up to ask if it was true that his mother had cancer. Almost immediately the pressure on him started: "Your mother's dying wish is to see you married". "Your mother's dying wish is to get her niece US citizenship, she was the only member of the family to care that she had cancer" (the rest of the family has been burned by her too many times too, so were largely not responding much after she tried to reach out after each silent treatment for whatever imagined slight set her off this time). "Ask Quats555 if she would be okay with your marrying your cousin, just on paper, means nothing, separate bedrooms, to get her US citizenship" "Quats555 is the wrong culture and age for you, she will die before you and leave you to die alone" (never mind that his cousin has a very high rate of bad cancer in her family: mother died young to it, sister was treated for it, now her aunt is dying of it -- they don't care about death/stress, or age difference -- his nMom is 8 years older than his eDad -- just getting him under control and that's easy things to use against me). "You owe us for adopting you and saving you from Iran, now you have to save her for us." "Your mother will die alone and unhappy because you aren't giving her THIS ONE THING, that will keep her alive and happier longer, looking forward to it, you're so selfish." ... the upshot? His school moved his externships to CA so that he could move in with his parents to help while his mother is so ill, and he is engaged to his cousin from Iran. And the first day he got there, after having been shoved out from here ON HIS LAST DAY OF CLASS, having had to arrange moving all his stuff cross-country and shipping his car during finals, to go to Iran to meet his cousin so he could qualify for applying for a fiancée visa for her, then to get horribly sick while there (needing IV fluids for being so dehydrated from vomiting/diarrhea) and arrive back the afternoon before his first day in clinic in CA -- jetlagged from 13 hours in flight, stressed over his parents' refusal to pay to move his layover from Turkey, where the coup had just happened a couple weeks before, to Hamburg for his safety, and having only a few hours to unpack, sleep, and figure out where he was going to go practice medicine on patients the very next morning -- exhausted and still recovering from being sick, depressed over leaving me at their demand, depressed over his nMom's terminal diagnosis -- and they called him lazy and yelled at him for wanting to go to sleep at 9pm instead of staying up to talk and do things with them that night. My perspective? You did the right thing. Narcissists will use and abuse anything for their own needs, not caring a bit about anyone or anything else unless it suits their own purposes. They WILL use their own health issues and problems to manipulate you. And, once you start saying "yes", it is very very hard to stop, with a narcissist. Give them an inch and they will take your whole life. I think a lot of what sucked in my ex-partner is the same thing that's hitting you now: the finality of it. He's going along in hopes that if he can just figure out the right things to say and do, that it will give his nMom the chance to show that she actually loves him. If he keeps her cut off and she dies, he won't have given her the chance! He will never know! ... the problem is, narcissists. Can't. Love. And this is a horrible thing to have to face; and, faced with her death and the cutoff of any chance to reconcile (all those deathbed scenes in books and movies where the dying person Sees The Light And Regrets It All, and Apologizes To Everyone They Harmed! ... ha, no, not for a narcissist) he chose to return to the fold. And, I suspect, is paying for it, and will continue to pay for it since she's done her best to lock him in to her replacement (yes, literally, one of the reasons they told him to marry her was "she's so much like your mother in looks and personality") for years to come, if not life. It's hard, yes. But I think you did the right thing for your sanity. You could be facing something as nasty as my ex is. He's not talking to me much any more, but did pop out a "there's nothing wrong with you, you're just the wrong culture and age" ... leaving off the "for my parents" this time, so I fear he's internalizing/rationalizing the emotional abuse and control. I would never have suspected he could say something racist... parents, yes, that's their culture; but he was a big crusader against racism and hypocrisy and for fair treatment and equal rights, often to his own detriment in butting heads with others. Hearing him say something racist that his parents planted was shocking.

  • Shanelle Senger

    > Personally, I'm more of an end-game raiding guy than a relic guy. > Alas, everyone just wants everything to be as easy as possible. Including these two statements has the potential for you to lose a lot of credibility with a vast majority of player types; not myself personally. That last statement can be seen as very elitist. Furthermore, your comments about people changing their minds, no longer caring about the content and wanting to be rewarded for no effort is unadulterated bullshit. Yes, there are people like that, but they are most certainly not the majority that you are *attempting*—but failing—to address. Most of the complaints I hear are NOT about the difficulty, easy or not. It is about the creativity and the lack thereof within the Anima questline. Anyone who claims otherwise is just listening to reddit and the OF... which aren't really the most credible source of anything when you have thousands of players in game who don't care about these communities. The vast majority of anima complaints that I've seen in game are about the lack of anything unique to make it a journey, to make it worthwhile— no Chimera, no Hydra, nothing... just rehashing old content because they're too busy trying to appeal everyone else in other areas and threw the relic chain together in the matter of a few hours. That's the issue that the majority has, not the difficulty, **but the creativity.** Just ask people in game what they think about the chain; some like the grind but most do not. I see people complaining about it in Idyllshire (On Balmung) pretty frequently. The steps were boring, lacked impact and had no real importance; that's what people hate. Personally, I did relic because I didn't want to join a static. However, as it has gone on, I have hardly had the patience for Anima because I wanted something unique and not just "redo all this content you've done ad infinitum already because we're too lazy to put any effort into this questline," but I continued it because I refused to join a static after Gordias. *I hate anima's questline with a passion**, *I want it nerfed into the ground and I want it to be easy because it's not rewarding from the start.* It never was and never will be, and while the weapons will BiS, there are no fond memories of doing the content, only hatred for the questline as it currently is, because they couldn't be bothered to give a crap. I feel like, with as little effort they put into the questline, we should have to put in just as little effort as anima *means **nothing*** and will never mean anything because it was sent out to be no more than a pointless grind from the start. **There was no journey, there was no enjoyment outside of doing things with friends and company mates**, hell my memories of anima can be summed up pretty easily: - 9 Hours, 38 minutes in Azys Lla for my final Fire Crystal on the first day; with people coming into the zone to **ACTUALLY** check on me because at that point everyone doing the quest at the time knew my name (Ixza Reprisae at the time) because I'd been there so long. People would shout for me, just to see how I was doing, and I finally got my last crystal at 5 AM, almost 24 hours after I started the crystal grind, on the FATE where I said I was going to "Give up if I don't get it." - Leveling Dark Knight while waiting on the next steps and learning how to tank via multiple, nearly endless runs of Aetherochemical Research Facility; and forgetting about that stupid portal mechanic against Ascian Prime because I was on auto pilot after having done that dungeon a couple dozen times already each day... and then being chewed out by healers for it, because of course they'd get mad. - Getting only five bonuses during the entire course of the Umbrite step and leveling all my crafters to 60 so that I could cheese Crystal Sands with Blue Scrips. That's all I remember of this questline, they are not fond memories and *I hate it.* I haven't had fun, its' been a bore chore. At least Savage and Extremes are engaging, this garbage, THIS GARBAGE is nothing but that. Pure, unfiltered and unadulterated laziness with no thought put into it at all. I'd rather go into a learning party for Zurvan and learn Soar; because I actually like doing mechanics, than do another blasted grind for anima. Honest to God... I wanted books, I wanted to run Extreme primals for items, I wanted to do things that required me to do more than just run the same bloody content over and over and over and over again. I wanted there to be a sense of accomplishment, and was hoping that Anima would accompany new content to make it FEEL worthwhile, but nope. That's too hard, people wouldn't like that. Also, I upvoted you, because I agree with you on some points. I just think that the assumption that people want it easy because they wanted it handed to them is a bit too broad of a statement for anyone to be making, as from my experience, that isn't the case at all. Don't take this as an attack, I'm just giving my 2 cents as well and trying to give some insight onto why people may want it to be easy or have no problems with it being easy due to how little importance or worth the questline actually has.

  • Christina Huels

    Full Name: Devon Turner Age: 37 Appearance: Devon Turner is 6ft/182.88 and has a pale complexion. he has brown hair and eyes. Devon is not a fit person and he is not fat he is quite thin. He has very nimble fingers and his hands never shake. He is neither beautiful nor ugly. If one were to describe Devon Turner's appearance the word they would use is unremarkable. Devon attempts to keep his appearance kempt and neat. He combs his hair to the left. He wears a custom fitted beige suit (which he spent a month's salary on) and polished brown leather oxford shoes. Personality: Devon Turner is often lost in thought. When he gets started on a project it consumes him until its completion. He has a tendency to lecture people on subjects without knowing or caring if they are interested. He gets up early and stays up late. Phobia: Trypanophobia (fear of medical needles) Pillar of Sanity: Devon believes that everything should be preserved for future generations to observe, He views any destruction of a historical item as a crime against humanity. Sources of Stability: Samuel Charleston, the Librarian who worked at the college Devon went to, Samuel served as Devons mentor. Skills: Devon Turner is a Conservator-Restorer specializing in the preservation and repair of manuscripts and books. He has a masters in Art History and a bachelors in chemistry, As such he has the following skills: Working knowledge of the vocabulary of conservation and scientific methodology in order to effectively examine an object, assess its state, understand its history, and articulate its needs. Working knowledge of how materials constituting cultural heritage were acquired, modified, processed, or manufactured and how craft or manufacturing techniques and processes have evolved through time. Possess knowledge of the chemical and physical properties and long-term behavior of a wide range of materials and whether these materials were used in the original fabrication of an object or in its subsequent treatment and preservation. Working knowledge of scientific principles as they apply to conservation, including how to access and use scientific literature and how to assess the validity of published research in conservation and allied fields. Versed in the many ways in which light, relative humidity, temperature, and pollutants can influence the long-term preservation of cultural heritage and must be familiar with techniques, equipment, and resources that can assist in managing these important environmental factors Ability to conduct a safe, thorough examination of cultural materials in order to gather relevant information about their condition and to formulate an appropriate plan for preservation and treatment. Know which tools and techniques are appropriate, how extensive the examination should be, and how or whether to perform external, intrusive, and occasionally destructive sampling. Understand the purposes of documentation and must be knowledgeable and proficient in appropriate methods of written and pictorial documentation as well as in the maintenance and preservation of the body of information produced during examination and treatment. Awareness of various treatment methods available as well as their effects on different types of cultural heritage, based on an understanding of condition, natural use, cultural, historic, and scientific significance, and, if applicable, the artist’s or maker’s intent. As well as Surface Cleaning, Mold removal, Insect removal, Adhesive removal, Washing, Alkalization, Mending, Filling, Sewing, Rebinding, Backing, and Flattening. Magic: n/a Gift: n/a Price: n/a Backstory: Devon Turner was born in Ontario, Canada to Sophie Turner and James Turner. Within a year he started speaking. Growing up it was quite clear that Devon was gifted academically, he had a passion for books and was always interested in museums. In school he was a straightlaced student, he got solid A’s but never any higher or lower. He went to the University of Ontario where he received a Masters in Art History and a Bachelors of Chemistry. Shortly after graduating he received a job at The Canadian Museum of History where he worked as an archivist until two months ago. Two months ago he received a letter which he read, after which he tendered his resignation at the The Canadian Museum of History. He boarded a plane, after arriving at his destination he was picked up by cab and driven to a museum where he helped to restore an item. That is the last memory he has before waking up in Elder City. If his memories seem vague that's because he cannot remember more than that, he remembers reading the letter but not what it said, he doesn't know where he flew to or what he worked on. Equipment: A small knife with a 3 inch blade A side arm with 10 bullets A leather satchel containing 12 pencils An eraser A notebook A pair of white cotton gloves A book on analyzing unknown types of paper and leather. Current Stress Level: 0

  • Lillie Nitzsche

    I'm actually going to just c/p my massive Gimli rant here, I'm sure I shared it on reddit before: The main human cast has amazing treatment, each one has their struggles and demons laid out, and it was a tragedy when they died and we could cheer for them when they succeeded. All Gimli did was learn not to hate elves. >But he is a side character so maybe comparing him to the main cast isn't fair! So let's compare him to the other side character - LEGOLAS. But that's even worse! Gimli and Legolas are basically set up with the exact same flaw: they dislike each other. But where the movie is happy to remind us that this is a FLAW in gimli, it regularly SUPPORTS legolas's dislike. dwarves are shown as short, smelly and dumb, and the audience is clearly meant ot agree. Whereas elves are meant to be hyper elegance- BUT arguably this is why Gimli dislikes them! But several main characters are elves and we see them fleshed out as actual beings - their isolation, their pride, their fear are all shown, they're not OTT cartoonish prudes. Whereas Gimli belches falls away from the table with his legs in the air. >BUT WAIT - that's not so different from the treatment of the hobbits! BUT! Every time a hobbit is seen as weak or dumb or clueless or played for humor, we are meant to empathize. When Gimli overestimates his ability to fight, his fear and realization is a moment of COMEDY. When it's Pippin or Sam or Merry, we feel FEAR for them, it's a moment of tension in the movie. We sympathize with being out of place with the hobbits. We are not asked, by the movie, to symapthize with being stinky, grotesque or Dwarfy. We see the hobbits as they grow through gandalfs eyes - in the movies at least. Parental and warm, and we see their flaws but we also celebrate their victories as they grow, and they EACH grow. Compared to gimli. The hobbits are introduced with flaws, but they grow past them. You believe in merry when he is set up against impossible odds. You just wait for Gimli to flop over. MINES OF MORIA: I would like to talk specifically about the battle of Mines of Moria - this is the final damage tally: Affective attacks (IE makes significant contact with foe’s body): Legolas: 12 Hobbits: 11 Aragorn: 10 Gandalf: 7 Boromir: 6 Gimli: 5 THE HOBBITS literally do a better job in that fight than GIMLI. The reason why I’m picking this one out in particular is because according to all laws of decent storytelling, this should’ve been Gimli’s scene. This was his fight, this was in his family’s home, and he had just been kneeling at his cousin’s tomb, weeping. The only reason it would not be his fight is if he was not a main character, but a character we met in passing, and the audience should not get attached to, or amazed by, or empathize with, because he’s just going to be on his way. This is absolutely not how a character who is going to be in the main cast for three movies should be handled. Gimli should’ve been all over this, ripping the orcs to shreds, but - in the course of this fight, he actually tumbles onto his back and is stuck there, like a turtle. We don’t even actually see him get up again, it cuts there. That’s not how you handle a character that you want the audience to invest in, rejoice in their victories and mourn for their losses. This battle scene is so dismissive of Gimli it actually becomes sloppy storytelling. This battle scene actively discourages people from caring about Gimli, or even thinking about Gimli, except possibly in relation to Legolas. And even then Legoloas doesn't even learn anything, gimli learns that he was wrong for hating elves and legolas nobly forgives him. BODY DOUBLE Brett Beattie His body double was injured at the beginning of filming, and they decided to "use this" in the film, by making Gimli often winded, limping, stumbling. It severely limited what the character, known for his physical prowess, was capable of actually doing. Take that away and they had a danger of him being hostile and unlikable, sooo out came the jester hat. In the books it makes something of a point about how strong Gimli is, how he even impressed Legolas with his ability to keep pace with him running when chasing the Orcs that stole the hobbits - because of the injury, instead, this plays out with Gimli stumbling into frame and wheezing out some bragging thing about dwarfs usually being really good runners. Then he falls over, out of frame. I don't think it was done intentionally, i think it came from little bits, and i don't think it came from disliking the character. I think what happened is as a fan, Peter Jackson was semi-blinded, didn't take a step back. There's an interview with Joss whendon where he talked about making *Firefly* where he said it was so fun to shit on Mal and keep making Mal the butt of the jokes, but he realized he had to STOP because Mal was supposed to be the lead, and the audience would stop seeing him as capable. I don't think Jackson ever had this moment with Gimli, maybe because he wasn't actually a lead. Jackson never wanted us to not believe in Gimli - he was just a big fan of what he was creating and I think this is like the single way it took away from the movies.

  • Cory Davis

    Unfortunately for your presentation and schoolwork, there aren't a ton of Scientologists who hang out in /r/scientology. But I'm usually game to answer questions, and if you want answers from more Scientologists, I've got plenty of friends who enjoy respectful discourse. I'm in the midst of fielding a bunch of questions this week for another college student who was doing a research paper on Scientology. Answers to such from about 10 Scientologist friends of mine are here: http://www.scientologyparent.com/tag/columbiacollegequestions/ (I'm still compiling results, but there's plenty there to parse) But I'll answer your questions here: > How did you become aware of scientology? My parents became Scientologists a few years before I was born, so I had a good bit of exposure growing up. I decided to take my first Scientology course when I was about 9, and by 10 or 11 I'd decided that I was down with being a Scientologist and that it made sense to me. > What happens under a "course"? A Scientology course is a course of study, done in a church or mission, which is laid out with a sequence of actions to study and practice on to the end of being able to apply that material covered therein. Scientology courses are done on what's called a checksheet - just a list of actions to take and sign off when done, and which consist of study, essays and practical assignments done under the supervision of a staff member of the church. > How has scientology affected your life? It's had a lot of positive benefits. Various activities in Scientology have affected me in various ways, but I'd say I've become more honest, more responsible, more generally caring, and able to take on a larger breadth of projects and swaths of life than I previously thought I could. It's been quite beneficial, and is a positive influence in my life. > How does scientology attract new members? I think a better way to answer this might be to look at how people already in the church became involved, as that gives a decent cross-section. I surveyed a whole bunch of friends, and came up with this: http://www.scientologyparent.com/can-you-explain-both-how-and-why-you-became-involved-with-the-church-of-scientology/ > What are the base principles of scientology? Wrote up a bunch of answers to succinctly answer that here: http://www.scientologyparent.com/a-brief-description-of-scientology-from-a-scientologist/ In terms of what it means to me: * I believe that I’m a spiritual individual, and am not “my body”. I believe I have a body, but that concepts like love, fear, honor, friendship, and one’s own goals and purposes in life are positively not a part of the body or brain, but are something we create as individuals. This video on the parts of man illustrates this further. * I believe that it is possible to know about the mind, the spirit, and life. Meaning, I do think that solutions to one’s problems as an individual, a family or group member, are not out of one’s hands, or can only be understood by the infinite, or “transcend the boundaries of human understanding” like old-time philosophers thought. I believe that no matter how hard one’s problems are in life, that something can be done about them, and Scientology contains intensely workable solutions for such. * I believe that religious choice is an intensely personal thing, and that anyone, studying Scientology, should do so for themselves, should read actual Scientology books for themselves, and should make up their own mind about it. I think that Scientology (or any religious philosophy) cannot be forced on someone, because there is nothing at all more individual and personal than how one feels about himself. Nobody can tell you how you feel about yourself, because nobody else is you. Therefore, a personal, spiritual philosophy can never, ever be jammed down your throat. There is no replacement for quality time, by yourself, in front of a book. > What does a scientologist believe in? What is the point of going to the "Courses"? See above for what a Scientologist believes in, as I tried to answer that above. And in terms of the point of taking Scientology courses, that would be entirely different for each person. The whole reason I'm involved in Scientology, is that I want to be able to continually improve who I am. What I think I need improvement at, personally, is TOTALLY different from what you think you need to improve personally. So, my answer on this might make positively no sense to you, and likewise things you want to be better at might not have any meaning for me. But that's the point, really, of any religious affiliation is that one should have the freedom to approach themselves as an individual, and do things that make them more happy and able - and that's the point, I think, of taking Scientology courses or involving onself in auditing. Hope that answers things for you.

  • Adam Williamson

    I've grown up around fire, EMS, and police. >I've been feeling like it's not something I should get into since I'm not passionate about it or anything Most of the people who get into these fields do it mainly because they want to help people, and/or keep them safe. EMS and fire barely make money in most areas. Police are somewhat better but underpaid in a lot of places. Fire and EMS in my area make about 35k starting and police make about 37k starting, but people still do it. The mental toll is hard, and many PDs have a counselor available. Cops deal with fatal accidents, child abuse, sexual abuse, people who's lives have been thrown away, violence, weapons, etc. >I would like to feel like I could make a change by being the type of officer my community needs This kind of ties into my last point, but it's hard for a civilian (I know cops are civilians but its just easier to separate them this way) on the outside to understand what's going on. For example, you may feel the police don't have enough community interaction. They may agree with you, but when you become a cop, you find out they already don't have enough cops OR the budget to take time out of the day and interact. They may have crime issues the public doesnt see, or other predicaments. Plus, certain departments have certain needs. In my hometown up north, where the heroin epidemic is killing every day, the police are cracking down hard on arresting these people. Im not a fan of the "war on drugs" but the communities have basically agreed that these people detoxing in jail dont have any other choice, since public aid isnt there. You have to acknowledge that you may not agree with everything but you may have to do it. Another example, in my area we are a popular spring break destination. After residents asking, the police are now cracking down on spring break tourists. Open containers on the beach, being drunk, drinking underage, etc all get you thrown in cuffs and put into a bus. it seems harsh, but after litter destroying the beaches for months and washing into the ocean, fights breaking out, glass being buried, vandalism, etc the community decided it was enough. Also, to bring up. Incidents of cops being bad cops and other cops not stepping in are popular on here. When it comes to violence its an issue, but the chain of command takes care of the rest. You aren't a supervisor, so its not your job to do it. It gets reported and it's up to them to take care of it. This is why the "all cops are bad because they dont stop bad cops" thing is dumb, because reddit expects cops to break the chain of command and verbally preach against bad officers. You may have to deal with a supervisor who may run it differently, and youd have to deal with it. Either of those situations may not be something you want to do, but youd have to do them. Hell you may even get thrown on traffic duty. Personally, being a car guy, I like that we actually have laws for streets enforced, but not everyone does. >I agree with you that it takes a certain type of person, but that can be good and bad because I ask myself can I become that 'type' of person? On the other hand, should I become that person and just be who I am and add the value I have. Mainly the people who do public service do it because its cool, and/or the help. Fire trucks are cool. Fighting fires is cool. You also help people. You get the point. The money for police is a big thing. Transferring to a big PD you can really make some good pay, especially with OT. There are a few places in CA that start at 80k with no experience (just be certified in your state), and thats rookie pay. That doesnt include the OT, which for most places its 1.5x your normal rate, and some places do 3x when its holidays. The benefits and pension are nice as well. The only concern is that if you have no passion for the job, the burnout could get very bad. The lack of caring could soon follow. Between the public shitting on you and dealing with shitty people, it can take a toll. Now if you do research and think youd be fine with all this shit, you could go for it. Ive seen cops who did it because it was a job and they were good cops, just very by-the-books. Id trust them. Just also remember that the reddit circlejerk is very strong. My local PD had a corruption scandal that was massive, a new chief got put in and everyone was fired, pay and training was improved, and now its great. Not a whisper of it on big news. Some local shithole PD is corrupt but doesn't change and it blows up on reddit. Cops not being in danger because of the fact jobs like loggers have higher death rates gets ridiculous. You will be dealing with dirty needles, weapons, and crazy people. It's dangerous. Also cops do report each other, /r/ProtectAndServe has threads if search. Cops will not lose their job over failing to report a dick move by another cop. Its the chain of command. All in all, there's a lot of misinformation on here, and some research in other places is recommended. *Sources of what Ive said come from growing up around these people my entire life. Im also going through the academy process.

  • Esta Heidenreich

    I have a peculiar anecdote about that, maybe some other people have experienced similar things. I tend to day dream a lot. Most of my fantasies in the past were quite standard in terms of their structure: it was always an alternative version of me that had *some* kind of "superpower" that was unattainable (generally a mix of genius-level intelligence/creativity, or athletic ability to be able to pull off ridiculous things, and significant "social ability" to be able to win arguments against anyone). Through those superpowers, I would garner massive amounts of wealth and become this mysterious quiet guy that was able to acquire social status and, simultaneously, live a pretty "normal" and stable life with a wife and kids without huge amounts of luxury, while I was off working on my creative pursuits. I've never fantasized about having a birthday party full of friends, or a super intimate relationship where I'm constantly sharing my feelings, say. However, I fantasized a LOT about having someone to discuss ideas with. Through JP, I came across the Big 5 and the idea that those things that you fantasize about are not just random bits of information, and it clicked - I'm introverted, a bit neurotic, quite disagreeable, very unconscientious and very high in openness. Those fantasies instantly told me where I, roughly speaking, had to aim towards and the things that I didn't give a shit about, which is just as important. That gave me the freedom to say "oh, so I *really* don't care about having this huge group of friends that I go out to the bar with once a week at least, so I shouldn't feel guilty for not pursuing that ideal". Made the future authoring program and set goals that, generally speaking, were essentially attainable versions of those fantasized ideals. For example, I'd focus more on reading books, on getting to a certain fitness level, my identity would revolve more around being the kind of guy that can speak up and would debate people when they say something wrong (there's a balance to find there, mind you), even if that meant sacrificing being the kind of guy that gets along with everyone because of how friendly and sociable he is. You may have a different version of what you want to become socially. After writing all of my goals in a detailed way, my day dreaming fantasies that would happen unconsciously started revolving around that attainable ideal! I was instantly blown away by that because for something to do that, it has to have a lot of 'power'. Didn't take long for that ideal to start to materialize in very small ways, bit by bit, although I've had to change plans very often. My advice would be to start there: what do you usually fantasize about? What do you don't fantasize about? If your thoughts are usually very negative, in what ways are they negative? I'd start asking those questions to answer the future authoring. I had to look at your post history and yeah, you are too quick to pass your problem onto your looks. Like JP says, you don't want to blow out the structure you live in because of small things. Before you say to yourself that you are this guy that's way too ugly to ever get any attention from the opposite sex or that you're too ugly to get a job. All you're doing it reducing what is very likely a multifaceted problem to a single dimension and then saying "if I don't fix this, I'm doomed", which is counterproductive at best, cowardly at worst. With women, it's something like this: in the way that you're very sensitive to the tightness of a girls' ass, they are very sensitive to your social standing/neediness and, as a guy, you are in the fortunate position to improve your situation with girls by not caring about them and achieving things that are meaningful to you. You are also in the unfortunate position where you have to work for women's attention and they mostly can do that to you by wearing limited amounts of clothing. IMO, the wrong way to go about it is to adhere to a lot of stupid TRP principles, which only have half the truth, just like the "go tell you like her, what is the worst that can happen? Be yourself and things will go well" is just 1 side of the truth. TRP has it right in that you often need to learn to act in certain ways to be attractive to women, you're not going to get them by "being yourself" and talking about videogames enthusiastically, which is something that you hear on reddit often, it's mostly a lie. "I love guys who talk to me about anything, but it has to be with PASSION, I love passion, I have when guys are so 'macho' and meanie" .... yeah sweetie, bad thing only 1 in a 1000 are like you. You need to compromise to some degree when it comes to the way you interact with others, and there is a right way to do it. Anyways, going into every relationship with, say, "AWALT" in mind is a bad idea, just go look at the types of relationships that TRP men have, how long they last and how they describe, that tells you all you need to know.

  • Carlee Olson

    It's important to understand that once high school or college is over, there is no race, no timeline, no end goal as side from finding love... and that happens to many late in life. So you're about 25 yo give or take. So what, you don't have a corner office, house parties that get mentioned on The View, you don't have 2.5 kids, a house and a dog and a 97 gallon tropical fish tank... so f*cking what. Here are some simple steps to move in the direction you want. Think about your perfect job, your perfect hpuse, your perfect car, your perfect husband, your perfect city/town, country in which to live. WRITE THESE ANSWERS DOWN. Now, think about where you are today with rach of these things. It then becomes apparent what needs to happen to get where you want to be. If you don't like your job, learn more about the job you want by online classes, volunteering, etc. Get resume-worthy experience that will make you an attractive candidate for a beginning in that career. Yes, it takes work. Nothing is guaranteed but, you have to makeep an effort, this won't be spoon fed to you. Want to meet nice, down to earth people? Volunteer at a pet shelter, volunteer at a gay friendly church /synogogue, volunteer at an lgbt center for kids, volunteer at God's Love We Deliver, and you will meet nice people. You also have to engage poplease and and stop giving non-answers. I have a job. It sux. I did nothing on the weekend. You're not giving answers that facilitate discussion, you have to make an effort. Friends don't magically appear, they take work to cultivate. Have nothing to do on the weekend? Go to an art museum, go to a botanical garden, go to the zoo, go to the library... do things that expose you to many things that will work to give you a chance to decide what you like. Then, pursue those by reading reddit threads and books and seeing YouTube videos... and then go to events that feature those things. Again, it takes effort. Once you identify things you like, buy some posters or prints of them and put them on your wall. Maybe even buy expensive ones of items you really like. This will enrich your life. By playing it safe and purposefully not engaging people, you'll never get hurt. By not wearing anything with color or images, no one will question your choices, and you won't be on the spot. By not going out of your house on the weekend, you'll not have to deal with many indifferent or unpleasant people, and life takes little effort and is easy. I think you may have gotten used to a life without friction or effort and low risk of being hurt... this is a slow path to emotional death, depression, and being a shut-in. I bet you don't speak up much at work, and just blend in with few interactions beyond what's required. This also mutes your options for upward mobility. You are accidentally setting yourself up for nothing. If you want to live life, you have to engage on multiple levels. Now, everyone needs time to step back and recharge but, that's different than making that your entire life. Now is the time to choose... have a happy, interesting life or, continue down your current path. A happy, interesting life means different things to different people; some are the life of the party and some are not, and stick with quieter chats with people on the periphery ... either way is fine as it's a personal choice and based on how you're wired but, you DO have to go to the party. I mean this honestly in the most caring, loving, concerned, way... get off your fucking ass and go engage! This isn't a dress rehearsal, you only go around once. You could start by taking an art class after work... life drawing, painting, etc. Go for it. You're an adult and as long as your a gentleman every day, you can go do anything you want and you don't have to answer to anyone or give a fuck what anyone else thinks about your taste in movies, books, art, music, clothes, politics, or ice cream. Now, get off reddit and go do something. Oh, and stop going to the same stores and taking the same route to work etc.... change your path to everywhere and you'll meet different people and see different things, and find new things that interest you and make you think. PS: if you're affraid of expressing an opinion on things because you feel you don't know enough or are affraid of negative responses, you could just express yur not understanding... i.e.; if you are democrat and someone at work is a big trump fan, rather than saying, no way republicans are going to successfully replace ACA (Obamacare), you could say, i'm really curious to see what the new proposal will be, any health care plan is tough and complicated to pull off. That could be the start of a casual conversation without choosing sides overtly. No need to agree or disagree with their response... just listen and express interest in the topic and ask general questions... all very non-confrontational. This is just an example and could be used when talking about a book, music, a new building development, anything. GO.

  • Damion Eichmann

    I'll admit that I dislike the comment you responded to as well. Calling humans "fucking parasites" devalues all of the important and powerful things we can do as a species. However, I don't think your response did justice to what was wrong with that comment, or the "type of mentality" it embodies, inasmuch as that refers to the "Humans are fucking parasites mentality". For one, I don't think that weighing he wellbeing of animals in our decisions has really held back as a species. Primarily, because we haven't paid mind to animal welfare throughout most of our history, and so it's not like we had that 'holding us back' for very long. Also, there are very few circumstances where we have to choose either: animal welfare or progress. Animal testing, for example, is a very mixed bag. Because animals are significantly different biochemically and physiologically, animal tests are not actually that great for drawing conclusions. Treatments have failed animal testing that eventually were shown to succeed in humans, and thus were prevented from being recognized because of the sometimes unearned value placed on animal testing. Similarly, treatments have passed animal tests enough to interest research for awhile despite either eventually or already failing human tests, which creates an inefficient allocation of time. Either one is not great for science, despite some of the tests yielding some "collateral learning" so to speak from understanding the reactions in animals. These problems are likely to only become compounded as drugs and treatments become more nuanced. And if concern for animals isn't holding us back medically, where is it holding us back? Cosmetics? Cuisine? I think if animal testing can be demonstrated to one's satisfaction to be of dubious benefit and possible harm to science, then the "concern for animals is holding us back" argument would also be shown to be empty. Furthermore, I think the idea that humans can't be as progressive and creative while having concern for animal welfare fundamentally undercuts human ingenuity. Creativity involves surpassing limitations. Give us an ocean, we build scuba suits. Give us gravity, we build a rocket. Give us mortality, we invent literature. Now, are you telling me humans are such supremely ingenious creatures, but they can't figure out how to move forward scientifically or culturally without minimizing our harm to animals inasmuch as possible? That they are so strong as to die in wars for causes they believe in, but so weak they can't give up meat or even just the modern practices of factory farming? That they are so caring that they are so smart they can scientifically understand the biochemistry and physiology of pain, but so stupid they cannot accept what the implications are for animal's capacity to suffer? That is fundamentally flawed, and I appeal to your belief in the greatness of humanity to demonstrate that humanity cannot be set back by the truth. Bear in mind I use the term "animal" loosely here. According to our scientific understand: certain animals including great apes, cetaceans, and possibly elephants very likely social and emotional bonds comparable but not equal to humans, most mammals very likely have acute senses of pain and some have social and emotional bonds though they're less strong than the previously mentioned groups', most vertebrates likely experience pain though less so than the previously mentioned groups, some invertebrates may experience pain, and it is unlikely that anything outside the kingdom Animalia experiences pain (and at least currently untestable). I'm talking about reducing net suffering, and some forms of suffering are greater than others (social/emotional>physical for example). When I talk about "animal welfare" or "animal suffering", it's inasmuch as the animals suffer on an emotional or physical level. So, eating oysters is practically nothing while harming a chimpanzee is closer to harming a human though not equal. I'm on mobile so I don't have all sources in hand, but I'll grab one easy one from a governmental organization that supports the whole hierarchy of animal sentience I discussed, but I'll link more later or PM them to you if you want u/Nastidon : https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK32655/ . Particularly, I want to dig up the arguments against the effectiveness of animal testing, but if you want to try to in the meantime I feel like google could be your friend perhaps to get some basic gist of it. Thanks for your comment though, I agree that that attitude the commenter above you expressed isn't helpful and I hope I didn't make to unwieldy a comment. Take care!

  • Gregoria McCullough

    >I never said this nor did I ever think that, i love the fact that the trio is full of flaws. I am merely trying to point out how you keep mentioning that Firebolt fight lasted way longer - that is true BUT Ron was also in that fight WITH Harry so I don't know why this should be a good example of Harry not enjoying Hermione's company and not missing her, when Ron acted the same as Harry did during Firebolt incident - they both haven't talked to her for a long time and it was all fine when he got the Firebolt back. You say how Harry didn't go to Hermione when she was arguing with Ron - well Ron never did that either: he didn't check on her, he didn't try to end the fight between them, Ron and Harry were sticking together. But Harry did try to end the Scabbers fight even before Ron's comment: Thanks for clarifying your stance my impression from that passage is that Ron getting upset and yelling when he found the bloody bedsheet is perfectly understandable and justified and there is no way Ron’s behaviour is worse than Harry’s (hence that statement). As for Ron not making any effort to make amends during the Firebolt fight, my reasoning is that he was personally involved in the fight because he felt betrayed by Hermione’s actions as well (unlike Harry during the cat-rat fight) and it hurt him just as much as Harry because now he cannot ride on an international standard broomstick either. Ron did check on her during the Firebolt and wondered about how she was doing all her classes and just before they made he told Harry where Hermione was (during homework in the common room). It showed Ron did on check on Hermione and more than Harry did. As for Firebolt fight lasting longer – I meant to say that Ron came around much faster in fights when it was just himself having a stake in it. I found Harry’s efforts inadequate during the cat-rat fight for reasons given above. He should try to end it because he had no personal stake in the fight, he does not feel betrayed by Hermione unlike Ron who did feel betrayed when Hermione went behind both his and Harry’s back to turn the Firebolt in with no consultation. >I hope you understand me better and that I was more clear. In any case, lets agree to disagree - if you think POA and GOF examples are good, thats perfectly fine, I simply disagree. Thanks for clarifying your stance. I think this whole discussion is a very big diversion from we were talking about. I only wanted to say during Harry/Hermione fight in PoA Harry did not miss Hermione (what Ron was doing is irrelevant) but during Harry/Ron fight in GoF Harry missed Ron badly. If you don’t agree let’s just leave it like you said. >Well we do see that comment and judging by Harry's rection, it happened more than once even if we don't see it. Just as we don't see it for example when they argued a lot in HBP but judging by the way Harry exploded, it happened a lot. I got the impression that Ron just gave Hermione the silent treatment like before and hang around with Harry. When did Harry explode in HBP? I must have missed it. >I am not saying Ron is wrong for being upset with what happened to Scabbers but he has a tendency to go on and on about something, BOTH he and Hermione are stubborn like that, just as Hermione was defending Crookshanks all the time. Yes and actually the most stubborn person is Harry Potter himself (especially when you including his rebellious nature against authority figures), Ron is the least stubborn and Hermione is somewhere in the middle. Ron was stubborn yes but he was not asking much from Hermione especially considering he just lost his pet that he had for almost 3 years (like I said before, I feel his explosion in HBP was far worse). Also in the all fights Ron was always the first person to try to mend things like in cat-rat fight, the Triwizard Tournament or Lavender fiasco. Also he never stopped caring for people he was angry with like Hermione during PoA. Harry asking Hermione about her subjects in chapter 12 PoA – it was great for Harry to ask her that question but this is like the only example where Harry cared about Hermione’s personal life in the 5 books. Also considering the fact that Ron was away upstairs and they just made up after not speaking with each other for 2 months, he should have done something. Anyway, I think the whole discussion might be getting off-topic from the initial discussion around whether Harry or Ron is a more suitable romantic partner for Hermione.

  • Tracy Beer

    Pardon me if this is only copy pasting but im really tired And anyone is free to correct me if i got anything wrong, also about sexual freedom i hope someone answer you as i currently don't have a good source to find an answer for it ***Polygamy " It is best for a man to have only one wife, but Islam allows polygamy (or, more accurately polygyny) when social circumstances make it necessary.  Islam placed important legal restrictions on polygyny, limiting it to one man with four wives, and also placed moral restrictions, encouraging men to take another wife only if they are capable of fulfilling their duties. A Muslim man who takes another wife should do so to fulfill his social responsibilities, such as caring for a widowed woman, and not as a means to increase his pleasure" [4:7] ***Inheritance Allah has stated three types of shares for a woman's inheritance as follows: A woman will have an equal share as that of the man.A woman will have an equal share to that of the man, or a little less.A woman will have half the share of a man. This means that the minimum of her shares is half, and considering that a female has no continual financial responsibilities as a child, sister, wife or mother, and these responsibilities are always on the men of the family, this is very generous indeed. Those who are interested in the details about this subject should review the discussions in books about the special branch of Islamic knowledge called "The science of inheritance and division of the estate." These books deal with all the different ways of dividing an inheritance, and the proper share of all relatives according to the Qur'an and Sunnah. Prior to passing any judgment about "unfair treatment" of Islam to women in terms of inheritance' one must examine this subject closely. In contrast to all the other societies, Islamic Jurisprudence stipulates the rules and regulations about all the affairs of a man, from big to small, to bring harmony to their lives. Just like a person has specific instructions for how to live and use his money in his lifetime, his wealth after his death is dealt with the same way. Unlike other social systems, a person can generally do with his wealth in his life however he wants but his will has certain restrictions according to the Islamic Law. Through his will he can only give 1/3 of his wealth to whoever he wants, all the rest is distributed according to the law of inheritance derived from the Qur'an. In the famous tradition; the companion Sa'ad ibn Abi Waqqas was ill and requested to bequest the majority of his wealth as charity, or a half of it since he was wealthy and only had one daughter. The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) forbade him and only allowed him to give a third, and said : "A third and a third is a lot, and it is better that you leave your heirs wealthy rather than leave them needy begging from the people. You will not spend anything seeking Allah's countenance but you receive a reward for that expenditure, even the morsel of food you put into your wife's mouth." [Bukhari #2591 & Muslim #1628] An important point to note is that in many civilizations, man-made laws of inheritance are at the whim of a powerful individual; to give or deprive, as one will, however unjustly. Moreover, in these societies often there is no law that obligates a man with financial responsibilities and relieves the women from them. On the other hand, according to Islam, a male is required to take care of the entire financial needs of the female dependents of the family until they are married. From the time a female marries, her financial responsibilities are her husband's obligation. After the death of the husband, the son or other male relative is obliged to care for the widow. Therefore, demanding a "fair," "just" or "equal" share of inheritance for both male and female Muslims, who do not have equal financial obligations and responsibilities, is an unfair and unjust demand. It is only fair and just to give preference to a male heir, in light of his financial responsibilities, over the female heir from the inheritance of the father, mother or others. Considering all this, the fact that a female is still entitled by the Islamic law to a half share of the portion of inheritance received by the male, and sometimes an equal share, is indeed fair, just, and generous.

  • Oral Dickinson

    The Last Stand Review: I went into X-Men: The Last Stand without knowing anything much about the characters, the original comic books or the previous movies which I hadn't seen. As the X-Men movies have had remarkable success and set their mark on culture however, I knew about a guy with "lasereyes", I knew that Hugh Jackman was Wolverine and I knew that I'd get Patrick Stewart in a wheelchair… Perhaps it seems ironic to blind-start (well, almost) into a franchise with a movie called "The Last Stand" and I didn't decide for myself that this would be the best place to start as the TV stations decided to air The Last Stand one day before the first two X-Men movies. However maybe the TV stations had a point… well, they probably hadn't but maybe there's a point to starting with the Last Stand: So what is the point? The Last Stand is incredibly packed… and I mean incredibly packed. It races through themes of cultural, social and philosophical relevance like a short-distance runner. It builds up metaphors, links concepts to individual characters (and their powers) and draws from a seemingly endless stack of themes. It lives in a limbo of themes that define political debates today. In only 104 minutes it makes us think about social conformity, the gay debate, genetic engineering, distribution of power, terrorism etc. The actions the characters do and the concepts explored are truly worth thinking about. In presenting them The Last Stand might be rushed and it barely reaches a conclusion (well, should it?) but it's undeniably very interesting. The movie enters where the 2nd part left. It introduces us to new mutants (notably a guy with angel wings which he's ashamed off – a metaphor for homosexuals and coming out) but also returns to the ones established in the previous films. After the events in X2, the team seems to be building up (as suggested in a training sequence at the start of the film) but the past is not yet over… Scott in particular mourns the loss of Jean, distancing himself from the others in the process. Afterwards two main plot lines emerge: The government produces a cure for mutants, which rids them of their powers and Jean reemerges but this time as a being called Phoenix that acts only on it's instincts. Over the course of the movie we learn that Jean is in fact the most powerful of all mutants, that her powers are matched by no one. She's an allegory on absolute power. The problem this movie faces isn't that it lacks content. It outdoes any other superhero film in terms of content. But when compared to it's predecessors it actually lacks something: A competent dramatic structure. While in terms of content the stakes are very high, in terms of characters they are very low. Scott, a main character from the previous 2 films, vanishes without the others caring much and any other character development that happens feels either rushed or barely happens at all. If you've watched the first 2 movies before watching The Last Stand you'll probably be disappointed by the way this movie handles it's characters. That's why watching The Last Stand first might actually be a good idea. The movie has been rightfully criticized for all of this. 104 minutes just aren't enough for the story it attempts to tell. But while it's important that we use our heart, we also shouldn't forget to use our brain. It takes an incredibly amount of thematic weight to the final battle which the title suggests will happen. Close to the end we are confronted with a sequence of lyrical beauty: While Jean destroys everything around her, Wolverine, being in love with her still, approaches her. He moves further and further despite his skin being ripped off in the process. When through all that destruction, he finally reaches in to her you'd think he just wants to hug her… It's a very tangible moment that makes you feel the characters and makes you relate to the pain and trouble you might have sometimes had when trying to reach through to people you love. In the end The Last Stand isn't a perfect movie, not even remotely. But it's an interesting and unique movie that in a genre often packed with fast paced action, manages to bring a lot of thought, even if it might not be fully coherent.

  • Skye Sauer

    She made a huge deal about it. She's always quick to bust a fan theory and she explained really clearly that people couldn't be horcruxes. I tried to find a source to site, but couldn't find one quick enough to keep caring, earlier. If I get enough down time I'll try again. The way she went on and on about it, it seems like she renigged only because she had written herself into the 7 hole and couldn't didn't really have enough magical artifacts to make 7 items. I mean, think of it this way: The horcruxes were hidden, so only items mentioned in books but not seen, with the exception of an item that was hidden and found, the diary, could be used as horcruxes. The diadem, the chalice, the locket, each of items of house founders. The sword couldn't be used because it was hidden away and could only be retrieved by someone worthy AND a Gryffendor. The ressurection stone was a deathly hallow, and it probably shouldn't have been used because none of the other deathly hallows were used, but that's explained away pretty easily with Dumbledoor having the elder wand and no one being the wiser, and the invisibility cloak being pretty well hidden as well. Now, I'm not sure why the sword couldn't have been one, other than the fact that Harry had already used it in the series before she had come up with Horcruxes, because it's made clear the before Harry got the sword from the sorting hat it was in a vault at Gringott's that Voldemort could have gotten access to at any time if he wanted. That leaves us with two remaining Horcruxes. Aside from the Sorcerer's Stone, the Goblet of Fire, the Pensieve and the Time Turner, there weren't any other significant magical artifacts mentioned, for the most part. And even then, time turners and pensieves are probably items not necessarily easy to obtain, but not necessarily significantly scarce, either. So, you want 7 of something, but you don't exactly have the worlds largest pool of well establised artifacts? Well, I'm a bad guy that has a snake's face and can speak to snakes, why not a big ass snake? In comes Nagini, an established creature, but not an artifact. That's not really a far reach, so we'll give her that. Last that leaves good old Harry Potter. We have nothing else, and it'll be a fun twist, anyway, right? Wrong. It was a super predicatable, far-reach for the idea of how horcruxes work, how they are made, how they are used after one dies, etc. It's pure lazy. Written into a hole with nowhere to go, so why not make that far-reach. Seriously, if it hadn't been for the plot-line where harry and Voldemort had a mental connection, it would basically be a deus ex machina. When I read the book, and I'm sure many others felt the same way, I was hoping that Harry wouldn't be a horcrux, as that would be the less predicatable, less interesting route. So, when it came down to the final show, it was less of a surprise that he was, and more of a "At least explain it so it in a cool way." And even that fell flat. "Well, when Harry's mom used the super vague love magic to protect Harry from the death curse, Voldemort, in a split second, quickly made a horcrux of harry without meaning to. Problem is he already had at least 5 other Horcruxes (not sure if Nagini was one or not at that point or not), so he didn't need a Harry horcrux, he would have come back regardless of weather or not he created one at that moment, and Voldemort was a pretty smart cookie, and probably the only person in the world with anything more than cursory knowledge of Horcruxes and how they function. Every other horcrux he had made was well thought out and calculated based on his personality and his penchant for flair. To create a horcrux on the spot to latch onto the first item in the room goes against his entire motif leading up to that point. I could go into how Avada Kedavraing Harry killed his horcrux instead of Harry is pretty ridiculous as well, but my three line post already turned into a long ass rant. Don't get me wrong, between 11 and 17 I was on the board for Harry Potter, but rereading them as an adult opened my eyes to a lot of shitty plot points, and showed me how ridiculous and broken the magic system is.

  • Nathanael Hand

    Ey, so, read some of your posts, and here's some random thoughts I thought you might like to read: These subreddits are cool, they're for people with (narcissist) abusers: r/raisedbynarcissists/ and r/NarcissisticAbuse/ Maybe see a school counselor and tell them your stuff. In my area they're sworn to privacy barring immediate threats of violence to self or others in most places I'm aware of. Also maybe see if you can withdraw or take medical leave- maybe use anxiety/depression as the reason, or whatever the counselor suggests. Sounds like you really need to take a break from school. I did that anyways, and I'm happier, even though I had to stay with my abusive parents. Don't have to worry about whether or not you'll be able to get into school again- school/the rat race is not the meaning of life (wish someone had really tried to explain that to me when I graduated high school! Maybe look for articles online that will tell you that school is not the meaning of life?) Potential rationale for your family: I have to take care of my mental medical issues if I'm going to succeed in life, and I can't do it while burdened with schoolwork. My mom (who is much less abusive and with whom I have a deeper, more respectful relationship with now) and I moved hundreds of kilometers away from my dad, and it's a lot better for both of us now. It sounds like your mom is less abusive than your dad since she accepted your gender self-identification so, living with her, while not optimal, sounds better than going to school and not getting anything done in your life. You two seem willing to be supportive of each other. So maybe see if you can live together. I understand where you need caring human bonding- we all do- so living with your mom (but not your dad) would be pretty good given what you've got. If your dad's abusive she probably would like to not live with him if that's not the case already. You're seeing a psychiatrist. Okay, get a therapist too. Maybe ask psych for a referral. From what I understand, psychs deal with meds, therapist/counselors deal with people. Totally different ball game. It depends on the jurisdiction, look it up, but in my place, they are sworn to total privacy barring immediate (meaning: time, place, method) threat of self/other harm- and then only the relevant actors know (the state, potential assaultees.) Money is a problem that needs attention. Your mom might be able to help you share costs if you live with her. I don't know how frugal you are but I always highly suggest looking into becoming so. I push Mr. Money Mustache and Early Retirement Extreme a lot, but there may be better blogs out there for your area- read posts or ask questions on r/frugal for advice, or use search engines. I see you read r/depression, also there's r/anxiety. The FAQs and Resources on both are cool to look at. Also I was surprised when my therapist said I might have Asperger's/autism, but it fit the bill- clumsy, social frustration, intelligent. It was empowering to know. Dunno if that's you, but just having a more specific idea of your problems, whatever they are, gives you power. Maybe get someone on aforementioned subreddits to recommend self help books. The principles of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy are pretty solid. Literally just killing negative thoughts and farming positive thoughts helps with gradual positive change. Sleep is important if you're not doing it already! http://super-memory.com/articles/sleep.htm This was totally awesome and changed the way I sleep. I was waking up at 6 pm and noon and 3 am- now I go to bed pretty consistently at 1 am and get decent sleep. Anyway some pretty strong stuff there! Hope it helps. You're totally welcome to disobey me! Cultivating a spirit of slight disobedience (also healthy communication, but that's hard/impossible with abusers-separation is better strategy) would probably be a good thing, but don't take it from me! Decide for yourself! (irony)

  • Dillan Hahn

    Sorry if I worded it in a way that came off as insulting or something. That wasn't my intention. I always ask people with opposing views to me questions about why they think things but sometimes despite my efforts some unavoidable bias seeps through. My mistake. I'm sorry. Now despite being left wing I can always see the argument of conservatives that greater economic growth leads to better life for everyone, even if I don't agree that's correct. There's a reason I respect conservatives but hate republicans. It almost comes down to math, which reminds me of that star trek episode where picard passionately rages about how he cant reduce morality down to an math sum. About how choosing to save 400 lives over 399 deaths is "technically" the best choice but that its not the point. And that yes I understand there are deal breakers to many religious and non religious people, on the left and the right. But it always seemed demonstrably clear to at worst SOME extent through studies that preventing unwanted pregnancies led to a far greater net gain in human happiness overall, e.g. Through less crime, less homeless, less children suffering through foster care etc. And the answer may be instead a huge economic injection into the adoption system to make it far easier to adopt while retaining safety and increasing as much as possible the life quality of those still in foster care. And I still support that anyway. Like I say I hate abortion. I hate its necessity. I used to be pro life despite being atheist. I hate that a rapists child could be killed because of the crime of its father. Since, I've become more traditionally left wing. But my main view is the adoption and foster care system should be an enormous priority to any progressive government. That adoptions should be free and easily accessible, but used with as much care as you would if you got gangrene and had to debate whether to get your limb chopped off. But no Conservative or republican has this view so I never vote for them. And again even if it's immoral to at the end come down to math, well I choose quality of life over quantity always. Maybe that's due to my severe mental illness and suicide issues, and my belief suicide should be legal. But if I love people at all and I do despite my outward cynicist persona, it's that's people should want to be alive and happy and enjoy it. Not just deal with a shitty life because "that's how the world is, kid" So my perfect dictatorship would be easily accessible abortions and birth control for all, a cultural feeling abortion is a tragedy whilst simultaneously never shaming anybody who does it, a significantly large welfare system that would guarantee a base rate of quality of life that is good for all citizens including those in foster care. There's no easy solution to this. And perhaps the best solution is a mixture of left and right, which of course will never happen. So if I have to choose between two, I choose the democrat way (though I'm British and our right wing party also has no problem with abortion so it's academic) because if it comes down to a choice between two evils I choose the evil with less mathematically determined human suffering. I have a great respect for some religious people, like you seem to be part of, who actually talk and debate and represent more the spirit of the books. My best friend is a daughter of a vicar and is thinking of becoming one herself, albeit in her job as an English lit professor she's published a lot about the religion of 50 shades of gray, which I never stop ribbing her for I wish more people could be like you. You seem more like a British Christian. Never aggressive or throwing stones at sinners. But remembering the best parts of religion. The objectively good stuff like loving and caring and humility and always being willing to question your own beliefs and critically think about everything. From what I see on reddit that seems rare in the US unfortunately You're a nice bloke/lass Sorry if this made no sense I'm a bit drunk

  • Marisol Maggio

    OK, here goes: I'm a Sophomore at University majoring in Computer Science and this is my dorm. It's quite small, so there isn't much storage space and neither my roommate or I like to dish out money for those kinds of things. I generally don't have much, most of my money goes into computer stuff and books. If I use something recently, it usually ends up on my desk (I just got a package that day and ate an orange which I opened my swiss army knife, just finished clipping my nails, I always drink tea in the mornings and bring it to class, I usually have some spare change lying around from going to the vending machine on the first floor or doing my laundry). I do actually have a place to put my change, in a jar on the bookshelf my roommate and I share, but usually it ends up lying around anyway. As I said I had just cleaned my desk, or was just about to finish up -> That's why the marker is standing and some things aren't in their place. The 'Marker' in particular doesn't have a place because I live in a dorm, and it's difficult to find a good place for a fullsize whiteboard, not to mention annoying to command-strip to the wall (it took alot for those poster-frames). My roommate invested in some 'hang-on' whiteboard plastic that we command-taped to the wall, and both use for organizing some larger comp sci projects. We also use pretty much any surface we can for whiteboard: mirror, the metal housing of the heater, etc) The 'stylish' jacket isn't very stylish, it's about ~3years old and I picked it up on a killer black friday deal with my mother in highschool. 35$ for a peacoat? hellya. Needless to say, I know nothing about caring for a jacket like that. but it looks good enough for me. (tbh I never really noticed that crease). I actually use those notebooks against the wall quite often, since I have one notebook per class. All the paper in the notebooks is nice and not yet full, because it's still early into the semester (We start later than other schools) and I haven't gotten many loose pieces of paper yet. The one 'crisp' piece of paper you mentioned is the most recent assignment from my Graphics class, which I was planning to work on after cleaning my desk off a bit. Most of the things I cleaned off my desk were junk (I was sick the week before and had NyQuil lying around, lots of small pieces of paper from various Campus events, wrappers, notes, things like that. They get annoying after a while.) You're right, I don't do my dishes very often. I try to keep everything clean by rinsing it out after everytime I use it, and not putting anything with very much sugar in it. I drink my tea and coffee plain, so it doesn't tend to leave too much residue after it. I don't know where you've been, but at just about every hackathon i've been to the word 'Hacker' is plastered everywhere. Doesn't mean anyone there will call themselves a 'hacker', though. You are right that I got that poster a while ago, however. I got it early into discovering about programming, around 3/4 years ago. I've always found 'hacker culture' interesting and the stories of people like Kevin Mitnick, Julian Assange, and Edward Snowden inspring. In turn, i've always found the Hackers Manifesto a little bit inspiring, moreso earlier then now, but it still retains some of kind of meaning to me. It also livens up my workspace a little bit. All the poster frames I got around the same time as the two posters at the front, 3/4 years ago. The third poster frame (to the left) was meant to house a poster of my blog, because I wanted to start Vlogging. I never got that poster but still had the frame, so at the beginning of this year stuck one of my other posters in it. Not sure if I missed anything, but i think that's about it

  • Van Fay

    I've been where you are and it's so hard. I still feel the guilt and my girl is 2 in June. I was so determined that breastfeeding was going to work. I bought the books, went to the classes, didn't even take formula as a back up when I went into the hospital when I went in for my indiction. The first feed went well, and then it was all downhill from there. The hospital didn't allow my partner to stay overnight and as I have quite severe anxiety he is my voice in the majority of stressful situations. Something felt wrong and I kept trying to tell the midwives but they ignored me. They forced me to stay a second night in hospital and I got 20 minutes sleep the entire night. My daughter was screaming almost non stop and could not latch. The midwives still wouldn't listen to me. I was expressing colostrum into a syringe and finger feeding her. I finally got her to sleep just before 8 and dozed off about 20 minutes before my partner arrived dead on the time visiting hours started. I had a different midwife who was absolutely wonderful. She was horrified at the way I had been treated and let us go that day. I practically ran out the door to the car and locked myself in, I held the baby while my partner finished adjusting the straps on the car seat. On the way home I made him stop at the shops and bought a tin of formula. At home things continued to get worse. Feeds would take upwards of an hour, she would be so exhausted from trying to get milk out that she would fall asleep only to wake up screaming just 10-20 minutes later. We started supplementing with formula when she was 2 days old. The midwives visited us at home and kept telling us to stop the formula and bottles because it would cause nipple confusion. As soon as they left she would be put down for a nap with a bottle of formula. I still kept trying though. I pumped and kept offering the breast and even when the supply was there she couldn't get it. At 5 weeks my partner told me he wouldn't think any less of me, he was proud that I had even tried for so long. I had pushed myself back into depression and my doctor put me back on my anti-depressants and they were not approved for use while breastfeeding in Australia. That sealed the deal and I put away my pump for the last time. After having breast milk my daughter was refusing to drink just the formula. We switched her to A2, when I made up the first bottle and tested it I found the texture and taste was quite similar to my breast milk. Daughter took to it straight away and started to excel not long after. It was like she was a completely different baby, much more alert, settled down and cried much less and overall was more content. She barely ever gets sick, is much taller than most kids her age, was walking by 10 months and by 18 months had hit all of her milestones up to 24 months. Everyone who meets her is amazed by how advanced she is for her age and strangers don't believe it when I tell them she's not 2 for a couple more months. I'm not going to lie though, every time I see a woman breastfeeding I get a twinge of guilt and jealousy. I so badly wanted it to work out and it didn't. Further down the road we found out our daughter had an undiagnosed lip tie. Combined with gestational diabetes and PCOS it was going to be a struggle from the get go, but no one told me that. I was so sucked in by all the "Breast is best" crap I felt like a failure when I had done nothing wrong. I was so anxious the first time I had to feed her a bottle in public alone, but no one else cared. All they saw was a woman caring for her baby. As long as your baby is fed it shouldn't matter if it's formula or breast milk. Either way they will be fine as long as they eat enough.

  • Ellsworth Kertzmann

    **Allow me to explain.** I was educated in an American university in Business and they literally spoon-fed us all these benefits of globalization and how it's so great for the world. I recall very well how I always questioned why even the books used seemed like propaganda material for this idea of "globalization" and all it's merits. Now, if you think of the definition of globalization as the following: Countries working together and developing close relationships, dealing in fair trade, sharing security intel (regarding terrorists), tactical alliances that benefit both nations, etc. Then yes globalization is great in this sense. Unfortunately, that's not the globalization that extremist liberals and dangerous Soros-funded groups strive for. Their definition of globalization is what Clinton said in her leaked speech: open-borders & open-trade. In other words, opening borders for mass migration of people across different parts of the globe (usually third-world countries to western nations), thereby causing the decline of western values (free speech, freedom rights, women's rights, homosexual rights etc.) by mass infusing of foreign cultures simply incompatible with the western culture. Completely free and open trade on the other hand (without caring about deceptive actions like currency manipulation in China) leads to what you see in the rust belt (manufacturing dependent areas in Iowa, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania etc). The extremely cheap labor of poor third-world nations like Mexico will simply suck manufacturing jobs out, taking with them all the wages and investments (infrastructure) that would otherwise remain in America, not to mention the wave effect this has on the rest of the economy as a result of the redirection of all that wealth to outside the nation. Who benefits, you might ask? Globalist shills and elitists who'll benefit from manufacturing their products for peanuts while selling it to Americans for a lot more, thereby skyrocketing their profits. Their globalization will lead to loss of identity of a nation, the merging of cultures into something in between (worse than western culture, slightly better than third-world nations). Also causes merging of living standards of average people across nations (pulling down western standard of living, pulling up third world nations). I'm a Syrian Christian who firmly believes in secular values, and if there's one thing I don't want to see in my lifetime, it's the decline of western civilization into what I had back in my country. With enough time, globalization will do just that.

  • Erich Boyer

    There is a lot there that sounds like depression with the ADHD that you have, which is going to make socialization even harder at this point. I would research and start working on ways to attack the three problems (depression, living in the moment to get of your head, and getting better at having conversations and connecting with other people). For the second issue, I think meditation can be very, very helpful with that (and can help with problems 1 and 3 too as well as your ADHD). There are plenty of books on how to have better conversations with people and relate to people (I am working through the Dale Carnegie classic right now How to Win Friends and Influence people). As for the depression, well there are a lot of ways to attack it (medication, therapy, exercise, etc.). Just have to research and find what you think will work (and its not necessarily choose 1, you can use multiple things). I have really liked the headspace app for meditation (its free for 10 days, but then had a subscription but I find it well worth it). I would also add at least on the socialization and enjoyment and awkwardness is that our feelings, especially when we are feeling down, tend to lie to us. You might feel all those things, but there isn't any guarantee that the feeling is mutual (or quite as bad as you think it is on the other party). And regardless, you aren't going to make friends sitting alone at home either, so you have to put yourself out there and expose yourself to the negative feelings to help move past them. Also helps to become a more interesting person and pay attention to what others are talking about and take some interest in that. When American Idol was in its heyday I kept up with it somewhat despite not really caring about it a ton because it allowed me to participate in the conversation. I just moved to a new area a year ago and I don't root for any of the four big sports teams, but I do like sports and I keep up with the teams a bit so I can participate in those conversations at work as well. I don't pretend its a favorite thing at all for me, but I make sure I have some idea of whats going on. It doesn't take a ton of time for that sort of thing either. And at least for what I am finding, actions are the best way to change thoughts, versus trying to change my thoughts to spur on actions. Part of ignoring my bad thoughts which I tried to combat to mostly unsuccessfully for years. In fact, I just read a nice quote about it a few hours ago that I put in my quote notebook (I swear the thought to say this came before I realized I had this snazzy quote). "It is easier to act yourself into a betterway of feeling than to feel yourself into a better way of action" - O.H. Mowrer. So just start to act like a person who cares and connects with people. Take up some of the interests of your friend, just having that connection about why you are doing the task will change your perception (I find myself sort of thinking in those situations if I didn't care and connect with this person, why would I have American Idol on in the background). Its going to be awkward at first (but thats ok, you already feel awkward so that isn't new) but it will slowly get better like any skill you learn. I am working on the socialization thing myself and haven't gotten a ton outside of my work colleagues, but its does work well. Just don't do what I did once and just wait around to feel different. Because I did that for years and it never happened.

  • Anjali Olson

    Honestly, it seems to me that there are many types of engineers... but they can be siphoned down to a handful. It all comes down to how you mentally and physiologically react to solving a problem. Some people feel great when they resolve a hard issue and it isn't so much about the material as it is being the person who is responsible for the success. Another class of people are those who enjoy the idea of mastering something entirely and being able to display that knowledge... another way of validating oneself. A bigger onset of people are just those with good technical skill and like a decent paycheck... but they don't any more satisfaction from it than much else. Sounds like to me you're in the type of person that self-validates through learning. You give yourself worth according to how much you know and how you are able of doing it. Engineering has a limitless supply of learning in any discipline, and so it's a natural habitat for someone who quite literally gains satisfaction through it. The break-up is just the causation of the intensity; it's the same thing as someone who smokes who suffers a trauma... they're urged to seek out smoking more because of the "relief" it offers. Whether it's the actual nicotine or the physiological response to a repeatable success. Luckily, engineers gain friendships the same way as anyone else. Just stop labeling yourself as an engineer; your career path and hobbies may define you but that's how you see yourself. You meet people who frequent places you do, get involved with people with similar interests, and just try to be outgoing. Most engineers I know are pretty bad socially because they are obsessive with how they perceive themselves and attack social problems like they're engineering problems... they're not. Engineers get grouped with with people like doctors, lawyers, and so on that feel compelled to tell everyone what they do and how successful they are... it's a sign of esteem issues that are self-validated by something. Sticking your nose into books every night might just be your personality... but it can also be indicative you're compensating for the loss of everything else. Try to rekindle friendships you may have left behind. Seek out groups/activities that interest you. Frequent places you like and enjoy small talk with people who also frequent the place if they seem to respond well. Over time you'll build friendships... but just remind yourself that the odds of someone caring about EE as much as you do or think you do... is pretty much close to zero.

  • Jarrod DuBuque

    Ask a wild boar about justice. Ask a lion for mercy. These things are cultural. They may have given us an advantage in the fight for survival once, but nowadays? What do you earn by caring for starving children in africa? There's no reason except societal pressure and ethics to help them. No chemistry involved. You don't find a tree molecule. You find carbon, hydrogen and oxygen though, which make up cellulose which in turn makes up a tree. You can break it down to the smallest level. Quarks, strings, whatever. Yet I dare you to find a fundemantal force that forces you to be just to that guy that looked at you funny in a bar. There was no chemistry stopping him from knocking you down in the alley and steal your money. You won't find a molecule of consciousness either, yet I am here and I know about my reaction to your reaction. You know the American dream. From dishwasher to millionaire? As much a Luftschloss as every other fantasy story out there. And yet... somehow we managed to become 7+ billion people without nuking the entire planet (yet). Quite amazing, isn't it? Nothing I said says that I believe emotions and concepts like justice don't have an impact on the world. That's exactly what Pratchett says: The place where the falling angel meets the rising ape. We are not angels, fantastic beings that are morally unfailable; yet we are no apes, driven by instinct and basic needs. We are in the middle. Stories have power and empower you. Heros have been role models for millenia, fables were used to teach morals just as long. Pratchett did not hold any religious beliefs, yet he wrote fantasy stories. I always knew that those stories weren't real yet they shaped me as a person. I took so much from his and other books. Without them, I would not be the same human I am now. Stories have power. Anecdotal stories often trump peer reviewed studies. It's just how our brains are wired. So a child thinks it has a monster under his bed. What do you think is the easiest way to get that child to sleep? By declaring his believe as unreal? Just as you get defensive when your beliefs are challenged, as your comment clearly shows, the child won't change its stance. Show the child that the monster can be beaten, driven away or be befriended and the problem solves itself. This leads back to Chesterton's Dragons: They exist. Depression is a real dragon. Illnesses are dragons. Daily work is a dragon. Poverty is a dragon. But as any one knows, dragons can be fought. It's healthy going into that fight knowing dragons can be slain.

  • Viva Koepp

    Saying I sound like a "right-wing ideologue" is by definition an ad-hominem attack. Maybe you should double check the definition. Again, that's simply not true. Sony would become an absolute laughing stock if they continued to produced poor movies that didn't make money just for the sake of "story telling". And even if they did garner some respect, it would be very short lived, as they would likely go bankrupt quickly do to spending hundreds of millions of dollars on unprofitable movies. I don't know if I'm "taking the side of the giant media conglomerate", but even if I was I wouldn't be ashamed of that. There are certain companies, like Disney, Licasfilm, Blizzard, Naught Dog, etc, that I love and would have no problem defending. What I'm saying right now is more pro-capitalism than anything else. A studio makes more money if they make a quality film. That gives studios a huge incentive to make quality films. So of course these studios care about quality storytelling, because quality storytelling makes them money. I think you need to divorce yourself from your love for this series. Clearly you are offended by the idea of Sony not moving forward with a Dark Tower sequel. But are you as offended by the other examples I mentioned? Do you accuse the studio that made the Eragon movie of not "caring about quality storytelling" because they didn't make a sequel to critically panned, unprofitable movie? If you are, you shouldn't be. Trust me, Sony wants nothing more for The Dark Tower than for it to be a critically acclaimed, box office smash. But making movies is difficult, most movies are bad, and odds are The Dark Tower will be too. If making movies was easy, everyone would do it. If you don't see how unreasonable it is for Sony to throw literally hundreds of millions of dollars down the drain in order to create Dark Tower movies for an incredibly small fan base, then I honestly don't know what else to say. My favorite book series is "The Chronicles of Amber". I would LOVE to see a movie be made of them, but it simply won't happen because the books don't have mass market appeal. It sucks but I'm totally okay with it. I don't expect a movie studio to invest hundreds of millions of dollars into a movie that they know will fail, just to prove they "care about storytelling". What if that was your money? Would you invest it in something you knew would fail?

  • Stone Considine

    My EQ is indeed terrible. I wouldn't be surprised if I had high functioning autism, I didn't start talking until I was almost 4, and I had to be told at one point that I should be looking people in the eye when talking to them rather than at their mouths (where the words come from). I have read lots of books about emotions, EQ, and body language and recognising all of those so I now understand it all a lot better than I used to but you have no doubt picked up that I am still terrible at it. I can fake my way through it pretty effectively but it is draining and requires a lot of concentration. I'm not military but I was at all boys boarding schools from 8-18 so that no doubt set the scene for my emotional development. And I don't think my parents were ever been particularly supportive before or after that. Dealing with emotions has always just been a case of composing yourself and getting on with the issue at hand. Feeling has never been important, but doing has been. Yes, I do feel frustrated but I've learnt to almost bypass it as that is what I've felt my whole life. Anxiety to me is packing before a flight and thinking you might miss it. I feel trapped and under pressure but doesn't everyone? As regards caring for my wife, I have constantly said that I am not capable of doing it properly. I can do the housework and give her a hug when she needs it but she needs to see a professional for therapy. Sadly the MoD were pretty terrible and really messed her around but hopefully now that she has been discharged she can be picked up and properly looked after. And a part of that is that I will be able to get the support that I need to help her as well as the information about what I can do at home. I would love to understand more about human emotion. I can't fathom why people do things based on emotion rather than what is logical. It annoys me that people complain that they have had to move for work and they are far from their parents, to me either they move job or they move house. Simples! I prefer dogs to most humans because it is easy to understand what they want. People are so complicated in their motives and trying to process that all in real time is just too much. Probably like trying to play chess whilst on LSD. If you could point me at any books or resources or what sort of professional could help with that, I would be eternally grateful.

  • Luther Kihn

    It's a good question, because it's only in the last few generations that we really started caring greatly about exact spelling, and a lot of the grammar rules some people insist on were actually invented around the same time. We managed fine before; why can't we manage now? To be sure, grammar and spelling *are* important. Grammar is the set of rules that determine how words are put together to mean something; it's grammar that tells us that "The dog bit the girl" means one thing but "The girl bit the dog" means something completely different. A standardized system of spelling is important because we have so many different dialects: if we all wrote as we spoke, people from Alabama would spell the words "pin" and "pen" the same. It's no coincidence that the English language first started to become standardized when the printing press was introduced to England, allowing books to be mass-produced and sent to all the different parts of the country. These days, we simply have a cultural expectation that in formal English, we stick to a set of agreed rules for grammar and spelling. It's not necessarily because people will misunderstand you if you write "the point was mute" instead of "...moot", or "ten items or less" instead of "ten items or fewer"; but allowing those errors -- or, perhaps, more neutrally: deviations from standard orthography and syntax -- is considered to be a sign of poor attention to detail or poor education. Personally, I think that in informal communication (and internet forums like this count for me as "informal"), there's no pressing need to be so meticulous. In my view, it's actually bad form to point out other people's mistakes (unless they explicitly request it, or it's so bad the text is actually indecipherable for real): the only time I will correct somebody's grammar on an internet forum is if I see them correcting somebody *else's* grammar.\* As far as I'm concerned, that makes them fair game -- and I can usually find something (and even if I can't, I can usually explain why the grammar "rule" they're insisting on is actually a sort of grammatical urban myth -- looking at you, split infinitive). ---------- \* Well, that; or the mistake is so unintentially hilarious that even the person who made it will laugh when it's pointed out to them.

  • Jana Howell

    Maybe I worded it wrong I'm definitely in no place for something really serious. I'm sure it'll change but if we don't reconcile I'm currently all set on LTRs. Little bitter after seeing years of planning a future blow up so quick with no single substantial reason. Regarding casual relationships I'm not opposed I just don't know the right way to do those. In HS and the first 3 years of my undergrad degree I wasn't great with girls had no direction just desperation mainly which was a bad look. Maybe it was cause I was a bit young for my grade I wasn't 21 till after finishing my first 4 years of college. My senior year of undergrad I decided to make changes. I hit the gym and the books hard. I got in amazing shape did my first marathon that spring then got into a masters program in my home state. A lot of other stuff seemed to fall into place too and the dynamic with girls changed. However I had a big chip on my shoulder about my less than satisfactory past with relationships. I felt I had been too nice to girls then strung along and pushed aside quick when a better option came. For lack of a better word I wanted payback. And for 2-3 years I got it by having lots of short relationships that lasted no more than a month cause I'd lie about my level of interest and cheat when I felt like it. This got old but I kept doing it until I met my ex. I had no intention of staying with her when we met. Yet our first date (before I could do something dumb) she called me on my act. She knew it was a front to cover up some other issue (which I hadn't really considered). She ended the date right there but said she'd be willing to give me a 2nd chance cause she felt like under all my BS there was a caring person and she was curious to see if she was right. That hit home for some reason. We went out again I was completely honest for the 1st time in years. I never even thought about being unfaithful for the next 7 years and things were great till it fell apart for other reasons. So that cathartic tangent aside my ideal situation seems like it has to be discovered after all that. Reconciliation would be close to ideal but so would a winning lotto ticket so serious is off the table. Casual is a logical staring point except I can only use past experiences to know what I shouldn't do. Guess that's some help but id rather know what I should be doing.

  • Cleta Aufderhar

    Start reading some parenting magazines and books. Start reading articles about what it's like to be a military family, what childhood depression looks like, how it influences children's emotional worlds to have a parent gone for reasons the kid cant understand. Expect that this kid is going to have a hard time coping with some strong emotions because of the time spent away from his mother. Even infants notice the loss. Their behavior changes dramatically when parents leave for active duty. Realize that if you are going to commit to this relationship then you will be the one caring for this child when mom is gone on deployment. You are going to be this child's father, and once that commitment is made it should never be taken back. You will be the one holding this child while he or she cries from the pain of missing his mom. You will be the one answering this child's questions about when will mommy be back home. You may find yourself potty training alone, making 3+ meals a day, washing shit out of little undies, dealing with lice outbreaks at school... so so much, without another set of hands there to help, without the comfort of another adult's company at the end of the day, without someone else to defer to when you feel like losing your shit and yelling because toddlers require shit tons of patience. There's nothing that makes you less qualified to do any of these things than any other parent, but are you honestly up for the task? Are you selfless and patient enough to love a child, and always put his or her well being above your own? Be honest with yourself about this, because the situation isn't about you really liking a girl and wanting to impress her. It's about the well being of another human being who will someday be a member of society. None, of the above will make the relationship with this woman more stable. Children make relationships harder. Military makes relationships ridiculously difficult to maintain. Honesty, trust, and open communication are pretty much the only shot at making it through the revolving door of military absences, and even then there may be times (years) where you wonder if sticking it out is really worth all of this (it usually is, if your partner is a decent person).

  • Kallie Rau

    i know i've been giving you shit, but i'll admit it, you're right to a point. To say that the direction and acting in cb movies is horrible is plain false though, and insulting to the directors who put literally 6 months or more of their lives into the movie to make it as good as possible. Additionally, if you think direction and acting in cb movies is horrible, you shouldn't be giving other major blockbusters a pass. Deadpool is the same, as are star wars, star trek, hell even 'smart' blockbusters like the apes movies or jurassic parks. You're literally just lumping them into on item, when they're all different and can't be generalized. One cb movie is often times just as different from another as one blockbuster to an unrelated blockbuster. I understand and appreciate what 'acclaimed filmmakers' do, and I'll be the first to agree that yeah it takes more artistic talent to do that than say Cap 3. But at the same time what the Russos did with cap 3, (i dont even like the movie too much) takes ALOT of skill and effort. to make those action scenes work and get most people (including many critics) invested in 100% fictional characters with powers is a lot more challenging than making people get invested in humans. And as for plot, sure I'll give you the fact that many marvel movies seem generic, but so do most movies. I watched 'Taxi Driver' just a few days ago and save for a few scenes nothing surprised me and i wasn't left all that impressed. Does that mean i come at shit on someone's work? No, I appreciate what is great about it. I probably sound like an offended comic book fan, but I dont give a shit about comic book movies or comic books in general. I give a shit about your false generalizations and disrespect to people's livelihood. Do i enjoy them? Yeah i do but my point was you're being brash and totally ignorant. You're literally calling making a movie that costs 10x as much as an artsy movie, that has 10x more people caring about it, that has 10x more pressure to perform, that takes 10x more people to make, etc. garbage which just makes you seem pretentious and in need of proving what you think is knowledge. also just popped some speed and really love typing when i'm feeling it so lol

  • Kimberly Connelly

    When I was young, I was depressed and alone. My father always pointed out how bad capitalism was and he would never allow any dissenting views. Everyone around me seemed to look down upon capitalism in general and America in particular. But then, one day, I found a book in the library. The title alone made me question everything. It was called "Capitalism: the Unknown Ideal" and was written by Ayn Rand. I had always assumed that I had my given place in society and that fighting my fate was useless. All of a sudden there was hope. This book told me that all of my problems were *someone* *else's* *fault* and that I could reach to the skies if I just shrugged off my responsibilities and stopped caring about how others perceived me. For a while, this new philosophy made me happy. It allowed me to break free from my pre-chosen path and to decide my own fate. But after a while it made me feel empty inside. The world did not grant me riches and happiness. The fruits of my labor were meager and did not suffice. I had to constantly fight this feeling inside me that something was wrong. Finally, when I started contemplating suicide, I recognized the need to change my world view. I "knew" that selfishness and greed were good things, but at the same time I knew that I wasn't happy. So I chose to become what I hated, in order to survive. At first it felt like descending into madness, but after a few years I started feeling happy. I had finally found my philosophical home. In hindsight, I realize that my journey was - ideologically - a journey from feudalism, through capitalism, to socialism. Kind of funny when I think about it. The lessons I had been taught when I was young were correct, but they were lessons that you can't learn from books. You have to experience them. It's never too late to learn the truth. Maybe this man, though already old, will one day figure it out. Maybe he won't. Either way I sympathize with his struggle. I've been there and I know what it feels like. It feels like hell.

  • Alexandrine Effertz

    I have a love / hate relationship with WFB. I have played the game over 20 years since I was like 12 years old in 4th edition. Then slowly but surely GW choke my love for them. It first started when they quit selling individual bits. Then the goldswords came out some outrageous price I cannot seem to remember. Then they quit making metal miniatures. Then they killed the world I have loved for over half my life. They did not even understand the problem their own game was having at the end of 7th. They made 4 or 5 powerful books and all the older armies never got a 7th edition book (like dwarfs and wood elves). So anyone that had those armies was a little bit disadvantage and had less interesting options. They got a ton of backlash from these people. Of course if they just released army books for them it would have solved the problem. Instead they went another direction and quit caring at all about gameplay and only focused on miniatures. This is evidenced by the fact that 8th is basically the most random game ever. Things like how many magic dice and how far my miniatures move is not something that should be random. It makes most strategy invalid because you might fail an 8 inch charge or get only 2 power dice. They did this so than anything that happened could just be explained away, by saying its random. That makes for some really easy game design you can make anything do anything, make crazy spells that win the game outright, but its random. Half the people I knew instantly quit upon release of 8th and I knew like 30 players in Indiana. With the advent of 9th age. Now the community had this great chance to make the game a strategy game instead of Random occurrences. Unfortunately the 9th age guys based their game off 8th , I believe not realizing it was a way less strategic game, because of GW growing laziness and concern with the shareholders. The shareholders don't care about the game only selling the models. Now I cannot even get the remaining locals to make a post in r/IndianaGamers linking their FB. SORRY FOR RANT. Its built up in me for a long time.

  • Reyna Renner

    If you're considering breaking up about this I think it's time to speak frankly about this with her. I think there's basically three ways you can go about this: 1. Break up with her. Perhaps tell her because it is because you lost attraction to her and don't feel the spark anymore. I don't see a reason to mention her wait in this situation, I think that'd be needlessly hurtful and not a good for her. 2. Tell her you've been losing attraction to her because of the weight gain and what you experience as a lack of commitment to personal health and development. That this is a real problem, and if this doesn't bring it home that you're considering breaking up over this. 3. Come at it from a position of caring and being worried, and try to address the negative changes in her behavior and her trouble finding motivation. Express that you want to help but feel like what you've been doing hasn't worked. Suggest involving a third party, e.g. a therapist, a personal trainer, or looking at self-improvement books together, or something else to help her get a grip on her motivational issues, to help her develop healthier habits and learn to enjoy taking better care of her body. Depending on how committed you are to this relationship and her I'd go for option 3, and if that doesn't take fall through to 2, and if that doesn't work to 1. Right now it seems like you feel helpless to fix this situation so you're looking for ways out (cheating, breaking up); if you manage to get things moving again you should feel better about the situation, and seeing your GF actually improve should be motivating and attractive to you. On the cheating thing: that's a pretty off-putting perspective you have there. Be a good person and break up with her before trying anything with someone else. It takes some self-control to reject the advances of pretty women with loose morals, but that's no excuse for being a dick and giving your gf lasting trust issues.

  • Reina Considine

    If I may be so bold, I would like to give you my input. First of all, the meaning people associate with events/pictures/comments/etc. are very individual. Just because you react differently to a gif than others, that doesn't necessarily reflect on you as a person. Perhaps the meaning you found from the comment of a stranger on reddit might be similar to the meaning that some people are finding from this gif. In a world with lots of darkness, it can bring a lot of joy and comfort to remember that there are people who care and will take extra time to pay attention to others whether that be their children or a stranger on reddit. Secondly, everyone loves in their own way. I would define pure love as selfless caring and sacrifice. That kind of love can be expressed a million different ways depending on the person and situation. The expression of love in this gif is easily recognizable--a dad coming home from work and taking extra time to make sure his daughters get lots of attention, hugs, and snuggles. So that's why a lot of people can understand it and appreciate what's happening. Lastly, about the crying thing. I kind of felt the same way as you when I didn't cry during the movie Logan and my two friends were a sobby mess. But the truth is, you've had a different day/month/etc. than anyone else, so comparing your emotional reaction to someone else's isn't really fair. Sometimes I'll cry like a baby at the tiniest things (esp if I'm really down or on my lady time and have crazy hormones). But sometimes things won't affect me the same way and might not even be as meaningful as they could have been had I experienced them at a different time. I think that's also why people like to re-read books or re-watch movies because they will find different meaning from them because their mindset and situation has changed. Hope that helps! If you ever need a reminder that there's redditors who care check out r/wholesomememes. I just came from there :)

  • Rodrick Lind

    > How many of his books have two social classes, with the hero rising up out of the lower class? Fair point > > How many have some long forgotten evil that is preparing to rise up that no one knows anything about? How many have some god that grants a unique magical power that is unlike anything else I've read? All of the gods are splintered from the same previous God and manifest unique powers on the planet they settle on... It's kind of the whole point of the cosmere that these draw similarities. > > All of his lead characters are very similar to the point where I struggle to separate things that Kelsier has done from things that Kaladin has done from things that Wax has done Kelsier: Silver-tongued thief who planned and led a rebellion Kaladin: Stubborn but caring soldier with an academic upbringing who is just trying his best to stay above water and protect whoever he can Wax: Intelligent but rough lawbringer with a strong sense of justice. Yes they're all smart, lethal, and have a huge chip on their shoulders, but they are not all that similar, and neither are their achievements. > > Likewise I feel like you could swap out Shallan, Marasi and Siri. Ehh, here you could be on to something, but it's really the fact that they're women in patriarchal societies that are trying their best to act tough and confident. Definitely some similarities, but when you have so many other characters like Vivenna, Jasnah, Vin, Allriane, Iyatil, Kriss, Tindwl, etc., it's going to be easy to group together characters with similar personality traits. Yeah, maybe each female character he makes isn't **completely** unique to one another, but he makes up for that in the quality of his world-building as well as the raw speed he churns out books. Something has to be sacrified. *shrug*

  • Deborah Cole

    All our hearts go out to you! It sounds like you've tried many things to attempt to fix your situation, but nothing has worked so far. There could be many explanations for your husbands' actions, and you are in the best position to figure out which one fits best. I am a big believer that knowledge is your friend when it comes to figuring out the root cause of a DB and/or overcoming it. Ideas and books that have helped me are: - asexuality: It's possible that your husband simply doesn't experience sexual attraction. - Adult Attachment Theory: He may be avoidant and unable to experience love and affection without feeling fear ave a need to withdraw - Psychological issues: it may have trouble seeing you as a sexual being after seeing you as a mom. - attraction: He may not find you attractive. Married Man Sex Life Primer has a good overview of the attraction system for men and women. - communication: You may both be lacking the shills to communicate effectively with each other. My favorite books to improve communication are No More Mr Nice Guy, and Non Violent Communication. - ED: It's possible that something is keeping him from getting and maintaining an erection. He may be embarrassed and distraught about it, which would make matters worse. - lack of empathy: He may have no idea how bad his actions are affecting you - selfishness: He may not be a well suited to being in a relationship. It's possible that pays off his personality will always make him less than caring, no matter who he is with. - lack of knowledge: He may not know how to please you, or please himself sexually, or you may not have a good understanding of how your desire system works. Good luck in your continued quest to find sex as affection!

  • Wilhelm Lehner

    in australia, but i think it's similar to other places. i've gone a few times, and mostly i've not been taken seriously. they usually keep you under observation for hours (or overnight but it's hard to sleep) until a mental health nurse can talk to you in depth. sometimes that person is really harsh and they've said things that made me feel like i was wasting their time or they thought i had nothing to be depressed about (of course you can get depressed when circumstances are not at their worst!). being turned away makes it very very hard to cope for a while. even if they think you are a danger to yourself, sometimes there are no beds available in the psych ward so they release you to go with friends or family (who have to promise to watch you). if they do accept you are at risk, and there are beds, then you get transferred to the psych ward (either by wheelchair within the hospital or ambulance to another hospital). being released to family/friends is embarrassing and difficult, and also difficult for the person caring for you. it has sometimes been helpful for me though, it gives me a way to talk through my issues and have support for helping me get into therapy or get on meds or improve my life. psych ward is kind of a holding place until they decide you aren't in immediate risk any more. there are occasionally groups, and occasionally you can talk to nurses. you might see your assigned psychiatrist every few days for 5mins. there is no therapy and not many outlets for coping (they have books, tv, music, but last time i went you couldn't take a phone or electronics). it's very hard to try and turn yourself around from suicidal thoughts to being willing to live without much support, but i've found step-up places that you can stay after hospital are much more helpful.

  • Beau Torp

    > If the Democratic Party gets you to believe that our President is an evil Russian spy, then you will support the Dems in blocking Trump no matter what and ignore any substantive issues/arguments regarding real policies or capability. Trump could cure the sick and solve poverty, but it wouldn't matter because he would still be an evil Russian plant. I have no legislative, executive, or judicial powers. I have absolutely no effect on whether Trump gets his policies across. You're also working on the assumption that people are incapable of caring about two things at once. I can acknowledge that Nixon was a criminal while accepting his general competence as president. I can acknowledge that Trump is a traitor while acknowledging when he does good things, such as getting us out of the TPP. The idea that the evil government can trick people into ignoring something by showcasing something else is something found in comic books, not in reality. >Yep, finding exactly nothing because there wasn't anything. The NSA and CIA has ever single Trump phone call and those of his advisers. The best they could find was that Flynn transcript that didn't even violate any law. So they found absolutely nothing, but they are still spending hundreds of thousands of dollars investigating. Weird. It's almost like there is an extraordinary amount of circumstantial evidence that warrants further investigation. "Russia allegedly promised 19% of Rosneft to Trump for political favors, and then factually sold 19% of Rosneft to an unknown party? Nothing to see here, comrade! Move along."

  • Cedrick Kessler

    Wow. Thank you for sharing with me. I feel the same as you in regards to adoption; that if I was to go through with it, it would eat me away inside. Some people on here have mentioned open adoptions, but I almost feel that would be worse - somehow being in my child's life but not, at the same time. I am 9 weeks (today) into my pregnancy. I never really thought about complications during pregnancy despite my doctor mentioning it is more likely with multiples. I have a relatively low stress job. I am an admin assistant. Lots of paperwork. The only thing that detracts from the mostly easy-going nature of my job is that I have to stand at my desk instead of sit. So I have planned on trying to work through my pregnancy as far as I possibly can. I know planning doesn't make something a reality... I also never thought about the fact that I may not supply enough milk. My mom warned me that not all babies will take to breastfeeding but I didn't consider other factors. I guess in a lot of ways I'm very unprepared for the babies. I am really coming into this blindly and though my shelves are filled with baby books it seems like I'm always missing information. As far as a support network, unfortunately I don't have any friends. The nature of my relationship drove most of them away as they didn't want to be part of it. A few coworkers have offered support but I am leery as who knows how long those offers will last, if they even ever materialize. I have a very caring family who emotionally and mentally will support me any way they can, but my family (immediate and extended) have all suffered losses in the last few years and don't really make much money to get by themselves let alone assist me.

  • Danny Moen

    Man I gotto confess my love today /clipssu! I love you man.. for your genius and I wish you wholeheartedly that you succeed in your long term vision! (I read your post about that and you may have my money!) I started trading trading only after I found RH. And when I started I had no idea what I was doing, mainly because I did not know much about US markets (being an immigrant). Then I made bad trades, lost about 40% in 1st month. Then I found this thread on Reddit.. This was my education everyday.. I learned how to NOT lose money after that first month losses. I learned (will always be,) how to do DD from posts here on this thread every day - especially from all of your brilliant posts. They were always consistent in tone, vision and clarity. The one thing that I have most appreciation for and hold deep gratitude for is the amount of wisdom (not just knowledge) I found being part of this thread. Again, Especially your posts! In the past few months, I have found myself reading below literature, not necessarily because I want to switch my career to Equity Research, but mainly because I'm passionate about this and it doesn't hurt to know how to manage one's money better! For anyone interested in the community, I found these books most fascinating in the recent past, in that order: * "Fooled by Randomness" - Nassim Nicholas Taleb * "Risk and Rationality" - Daniel Kahneman * "Security Analysis" - Benjamin Graham & Franklin Dodd (currently reading) * "Intelligent Investor" - Benjamin Graham & Franklin Dodd Please keep sharing and caring! Thanks a lot and congratulations on AUPH success and wish everyone good luck!

  • Gladyce Ernser

    > >How far would you go to support this? You say you would allow civil disobedience "without reservation," but would you allow disruptive protests or refuse to crack down on riots? What about people who may not actually care about the justification of a law as much as its effect on them, such as drug dealers? Oops, looking it up it looks like civil disobedience is not always defined as nonviolent, I was using the definition that is. So no, no riots or anything. Disruptive protests are different. Sure, if they're obstructing ambulances they need to be broken up, but they shouldn't be herded into 'free speech squares' out of sight and out of mind. As for people not caring about the justification, it's not the state's place to decide who's sincere and who's not. >How would the police officer know what is constitutional or not? Let's say a police officer is supposed to enforce a law, but he thinks it's unconstitutional and some people agree with him. The law is being taken through the legal process and one of two scenarios will happen: either the officer was right, the law was wrong and he's in the clear, or the law was constitutional and it turns out he wasn't fit for duty. How could we differentiate the two, and why allow such an occurrence in the first place if it can conflict with proper enforcement of the law? If a police officer's constitutionality case is working its way up, I'd personally argue for placing him or her on paid vacation for the duration. That way the officer isn't being punished for it, and also won't be likely to ignore the law on the books in the field.

  • Era Weber

    > we can accept Octavia falling off a cliff You don't need to understate things to make your point, it just makes your statement disingenuous. I discussed Jon Snow earlier in this thread, yes its plot armor. It's explained (they get away with certain things due to being fantasy and not being sci Fi) but yeah it's plot armor. I personally think getting stabbed and falling off of a **large** cliff is more unbelievable, however I have also stated that that scene had absolutely nothing to do with me making this thread. I had planned on it for a long time now. How many times have characters been in situations in which any other character would die? Not cause of skill, cause of sheer luck. How many times has it been that a group of people go out and the least important character dies, hell it happened TWICE in the same episode that Octavia's survival happened. The missile is still in my opinion the worst offender of plot armor, as there were 5-6 instances of it. I made this comment earlier. If the show is tricking you into thinking a character is a main character... That's because they were the main character up to a point. That's simply how the plot is working. Call it a trick or not doesn't change the impact of it at all. The show did different PoV characters than the books, I.E. Rob Stark, Stannis. 4 have died from the books though. Something like 80 established characters have been killed in GoT. That as well as the number of people still alive is a useless statistic because of the scale of GoT vs The 100. Thats a valid opinion. Not killing characters makes me stop caring because I don't have anything to worry about: I know it'll all be okay.

  • Elliot Berge

    It's like your inside my head. I've been mentally churning about these balances too (self enrichment vs leading family). I'm getting more into DL 5 and 6 and watching the PUA vids online (RSD has good stuff) and am trying to finish PFP before starting Day Bang. I don't like having unfinished books all over. Anyway, I mostly struggle with just making opportunities to practice game, similar to what you shared. I've had some successful nights out (on weekends when wife was away or on work trips out of town) where I chatted up women, got IOI's and in one case was even invited back to one of their apartments to continue partying with her and her friends at 2am. But the opportunities are just too few and far between for a married guy who works 50+ hours a week and has two kids (whose lives I'm very involved in). At kid's events I always chat up the mom's but there seems to be a social structure there that prevents it going much beyond friendly conversation. Out of curiosity and to compare strategies, do you go out alone a lot or usually with wing-men or guy friends? I find it much easier to make approaches (or be approachable) when with a group but then I find my actions to be slightly tempered by the group I'm with. OTOH, when I'm by myself I can act how I want without judgement or questions from my guy friends who obviously know I'm married. I'm caring less about what they think but it still has an impact on how you operate. Thanks for the introspection. It's very relatable.

  • Elmore Predovic

    I'm in your boat but we got married and were together 16 years. Now in process of divorce/separation over the same issue. I too came from a background of dating assholes only so he really was the first nice and caring partner I've ever had. But one day midlife crisis struck him and he started wanting babies BAD. We both went into the marriage him as a fencesitter and me as CF. I too am thinking similar to what you are. What if I never find a nice man again? I'm 40s so it's harder. I'm assuming you're much younger. And we too have had soo many nice trips together like you. But do take it from me. Resentment builds over time. I found out recently that his resentment related to me not wanting kids has been rising steadily over the years. He couldn't identify the cause of it but now he knows why he's been acting emotionally distant and unhappy and doubtful . Once married, leaving becomes a legal mess of paperwork and such. So if you're going to end things the sooner the better. Yes, it hurts like a beeotch if both of you still love each other. Therapy has been helpful to me in letting this go along with reading books about separation/breaking up, lots of self-care and good friends. Good luck to you. p.s. I come from a similar family dynamic. Mom didn't say it directly but her life did suffer raising me and working full time as a single mom then having to hit the bottle to de-stress. Hence my reasons for not wanting kids.

  • Eugene Auer

    I'm glad you brought this question as I was struggling with it myself. I was raised in a Persian bahai family. I had memorized the Hidden Words & said my obligatory prayer until the age of 15. At age 15 everything went down because I felt like I was full of sins ( it was not anything, I was just immature) & was too ashamed to talk to god. After that I start caring less about faith. Still went to feast & all that but didn't truly felt like a Baha'i. I was not spiritually ready to declare myself as a bahai( I don't even remember signing a paper). I really wanted to read other holy books to be fully ready to declare as a Baha'i. But that didn't happen as I was busy with school & adjusting myself to the new society. Personally I believe I was not mature enough to understand all the writings. In my personal experience the age of 15 is too soon to declare myself as a Baha'i. But maybe I'm just slower than others. I think at the age of 18 when I started to get very involved with youth I truly felt like a Baha'i. By the time I was 19 I had enough experience to became more aware how the world works and why we need faith. Just turned 21 and I finally fully understand the writings and meanings & I became more spiritual. If I could change one thing about the faith it would be the age of declaration. Because I did not develop critical thinking at the age of 15. I say prayers completely differently now compared to when I was 13.

  • Tyreek Crona

    That's fair. I think it comes down to how much a person is bothered by those logistics. I like the show, i'll most likely continue watching it since i'm probably not getting the next book for a while. I can get behind your view of the Stannis burning Shireen moment. The only thing that really bothers me is the Petyr Baelish thing i mentioned in the previous comment but I'm having a hard time articulating my exact problem. I think it's that in the show/book he has a lot of build up as this sinister man behind the curtains. He's always making moves. In the books he is still on the rise and he's not done yet, he's on the verge of controlling the riverlands, vale, and north. So all his characterization, at least where the books left off, makes sense. In the show he just handed away the north for absolutely no reason. Which retroactively makes a lot of plot, characterization, and foreshadowing meaningless. It was purely to streamline the story so we can have some kind of resolution, totally fair since the books are taking forever. But I personally stop caring about the ending if i no longer care about the story. And if shits happening that doesn't make sense within the story, it's hard to care about that either. TL;DR I'm a butt hurt reader who loves the books and wants to take the show seriously but Baelish and the Sandsnakes are making it tough

  • Stevie Schowalter

    Finished: **Dungeon Born: The Divine Dungeon Book One** by Dakota Krout. This was really cute. I read it in its entirety last night. (warning: dangerous levels of high fantasy tropey cheesyness ahead.) It's about an awakening (or, well, new really) Dungeon Core. It's so off the wall (unless you've ever played Dungeon Keeper) that it's tough to synopsize (shut up. It's a word now.) A soul is pulled into a gem by a necromancer who's killed and drops the thing into a crevasse where it "takes root." With help the soul awakens and learns to interact with and control its environment as it gains power (by killing adventurers that come to plunder the dungeon.) As a freshman effort, it DOES show signs of cringy levels of "telling instead of showing." But I, to my amazement, found myself just not caring that much. It's a fun little romp full of a lot of ideas that are pulled right out of DnD. It really is a fun little book. Having read it on kindle I'm going to pick up a paperback to keep on the shelf as well. I'm in a "No Spend March" or I'd buy the next book in the series immediately. THAT said, I've abandoned my Harry Potter re-read in the middle of "Order of the Phoenix." I've decided the cleverness of the setting which carried the books in their entirety was not enough to justify sitting through a reread. So I'm behind again (I think.)

  • Christop Doyle

    Filmmaking (specifically documentary, but this applies to everything) Please for the love gosh stop caring about what camera you have or what equipment to buy. Guess what. Cameras don't know how to tell good stories and make people feel things, that's your job. If you can't communicate a message to people because you're so focused on getting cool cameras and sweet new gear then what's the point of even having it? Study history, psychology, anthropology, humanities, science, writing. Read books, listen to podcasts, and watch films that move you and fascinate you. Observe the world as objectively as you can. Follow your curiosities and you'll find you can write and film things at a higher caliber than the rest of the jokers who sit around with their life-savings camera shooting things that may look pretty but have no meaning or context within our society. And since so many students buy expensive gear thinking it will magically pop out a blockbuster you will have a great network of resources, but you'll be a step ahead. Also consider not making things with guns, drugs, or sex in it. Also also the people around you are going to be the ones you work with in the future so find the ones that are better than you and challenge you and stick around them to lift yourself up. I could go on forever

  • Oscar Gaylord

    As someone vaguely (and I mean very vaguely) connected to the film industry, I'm fascinated and very confused by some fans' ideas about what is going on the filmmakers heads. It's almost never a matter of not caring, especially with Harry Potter and especially with a department as crucial as costumes. If anything, it's probably the opposite of not caring. Costumes say a lot about characters, and it's useful to help invent a character and portray an idea if you can use the whole canvas, meaning putting your character in different clothes based on the scene. It's a useful tool in telling the audience this is a new day, or if the character is angry or less "pure" (aka, they might be in [darker](https://www.google.com/search?q=bet+on+it+high+school+musical&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjTkKWTnK3SAhXBy1QKHV92CpAQ_AUICSgC&biw=1209&bih=735) [clothes](http://www.neatorama.com/2012/06/28/psycho-alfred-hitchcocks-scariest-film/). And anyway, if you want to get pedantic, why not blame the films for having the students in Muggle school uniforms altogethr? The books have them wearing robes, not ties, sweaters, and collared shirts.

  • Lisette Prohaska

    I agree with your first point, although I said "at the very least" because I remember the show writers saying they knew that much. I'd imagine they know much more than that, including some details (although not all) on how Dany gets the throne and what her character's like at that time, but I don't know of this ever being confirmed. It just makes sense to me that GRRM, being a former TV writer himself and caring about the show, would give the show writers information like that. However, the show might take some liberties on those endings due to time constraints and pandering to the fans, so we could still end up with pretty different outcomes. It's really hard to say, especially since the show seems to be handling the story season-to-season rather than focusing on the overall plot. But I don't think GRRM got bored with his original cast. I think he's just trickled in characters so that we get time to know the big players first and so that their introductions would make sense. It's tough to say what significance Brienne and the Dorne storylines, and others like theirs, will have until the books are done, but I think they'll end up making significant contributions to the main stories. Even though they seemed mostly disconnected in AFFC and ADWD.

  • Annie McCullough

    You are giving me nothing to back any of this up You can write me as many books worth's of comments as you want but I'm not going to waste my time writing that much back unless you actually provide me with some sort of evidence. Do I think Trump colluding with a foriegn government to possibly affect our democratic system is more important than a candidate not getting as much coverage when he had nothing saying he was going to win? Yes. > Something else you're not, btw, is fair; you think your impression of the debates is 'objectively correct', talk about an ego out of control Boy this is rich. Coming from someone who literally began their comment with: "Talking to you, is exactly like talking to any liberal. Everything out of context, everything interpreted wrong, no good will." No, you don't get to use nothing but opinions, all of which make an argument about bias, calling things cancerous to society and deciding whether or not coverage of a candidate is more important than a foriegn government screwing with the election and suddenly turn around and blast me for saying who I felt won a debate. I've shown you as much goodwill as you've shown me. Blast me as a biased, non-caring, partisan out of the gate and I'm going to point out your hypocrisies, and you're writing out plenty of them.

  • Nya O'Hara

    I actually enjoyed the edge that Scott had developed since M-Day really. Really between Astonishing and the post M-Day stuff, I had gone from really only enjoying him as an ensemble player in the X-world to considering him one of my favorite characters. I don't enjoy how the fruits of his tireless, never ending labors were to have all of his closest friends wipe their asses with his name, before Marvel ultimately decided to have the Inhumans wipe their ass with his name as well. They took one of the X-Men's most important characters, they pummeled and punished him while promising a redemption. They gave us one, late, out of continuity book featuring a hint of his redemption right before the universe ended, then they killed him off panel and the death was somehow even more pathetic than you may consider an off-panel death to have been. Emma's turn in the RessureXion books is basically going to be everyone forgetting anything she had ever done as an X-Men, no one caring at all about her emotional breakdown, and a bunch of time-displaced X-Men taking low-blow quips at her while pummeling her fight after fight until she's just another run of the mill background X-Villain. Mark my words.

  • Karlee Watsica

    Thousands of moves must be made every single day by a world leader. Shaking hands is one of the least important things in a world leader's day. Even a good real-estate developer shouldn't have to worry about it too much unless he deigns to fraternize with the union workers and contractors (which Trump says he does.) Add that to the sentiment planted by the numerous anti-Trump GOP factions about Trump's smaller-than-average hands and you have everyone sniggering about how he must be compensating for something. Even if the handshake mattered to top-tier patricians, it would have to be strong and large enough to dominate other statesmen which Trump failed to do with Trudeau and likely many others we haven't seen. Abe, of course, was suckered by it, but that could either be explained away by him not caring or just having small Japanese hands. Trump is a parody of the shallow wisdom offered by low-brow self help books and gimmicky wall street trading guides. I promise you, the hucksters who sell those books really push the handshake angle. Why? Because it makes the suckers who buy those books excited for easy answers to difficult questions.

  • Rita Lakin

    If you're looking for an analysis of the complex nature of emotions, The Sublety of Emotions by Aaron Ben-Ze'ev goes into depth. At over 500 pages you're bound to find a better understanding of feelings. In an academic, 'what's going on' kind of way. Ch 1: The Complexity of Emotions Ch 2: What is an Emotion Ch 3: Basic Components Ch 4: The Affective Realm Ch 5: When Feelings Overflow Ch 6: Rationality and Functionality Ch 7: Emotions and Imagination Ch 8: Everything is Not under Control Ch 9: Emotions and Morality Ch 10: Why Do We Feel Bad When You Feel Good? Ch 11: Why Do We Feel Bad When You Feel Bad? Ch 12: Why Do We Feel Good No Matter What You Feel? Ch 13: When You Are Bad, I Am Mad Ch 14: The Sweetest Emotions Ch 15: Caring About Oneself Ch 16: Caring About Our Future Ch 17: Taking Account of Our Specific Deeds Ch 18: Caring About the Self Personally, I learned to identify individual emotions not through books but in therapy. My therapist asked me to describe the physical sensations I experienced during whatever social situation I was struggling with, then she'd put a name for the emotion to the group of sensations. As in, "It sounds like you felt _____."

  • Elsa Sawayn

    Honestly, as a religious person, I understand this. The Bible has been translated, manipulated, and interpreted a million ways since a bunch of people assembled the collection of writings in 325 AD. It is a sacred text in Christianity, but people lean on it way too much. They like to read the Jesus story over and over (I mean he is the main dude) but they gloss over the other 75% of the bible the majority of the year. Then they cherry pick verses to fit without caring about context. Obviously not every Christian does this. However, there are an overwhelming number of people who call themselves Christian and don't bother to read and *understand* the good book. The pastor recites the verses and gives a sermon and that's what they get. They take it literally and it's unquestionable. I'm the first to admit that the Bible is a chore to read. If you cherry pick verses, it can sound romantic and great, but if you really want to understand the history and context of where Judaism and then Christianity came from, then you have to trudge through 66 books that were all written by flawed and biased human beings in a now dead language over 2000 years ago.

  • Brice Schmidt

    I don't want to come off as dismissive of your concerns at all, because I think you are absolutely awesome for caring so much about your step-daughter and for being aware of what is going on in her life. Just, keep in mind that adolescents tend to be extremists. Everything we feel and do is dialed up to 11 when we're in that stage of life. Your step-daughter is probably going to be intense, volatile, and yes, annoying as shit, for a while...and that's entirely normal. I think what you can do is simply model your form of womanhood for her. Let her see an adult woman who has fun without caring about her appearance so much. Let her see you socialize with people and have a good time without having spent forever preening yourself perfect. Take her out with you to do activities that might get her "mussed up" but are fun enough that she won't care...does she like rollercoasters? Water parks? Hiking? Riding? Roller-skating? Find fun movies and shows that show a more GC perspective if you can. Books would be even better, but realistically it might be harder to tempt her with books if her other family is giving her movies.

  • Reanna Rosenbaum

    I have teenage daughters. Ive been dreading having teenagers since the moment I fell pregnant with my first child. Sure, it can be tough. There's lots of groaning and eye rolling and raised voices but I love who my daughters are. They're bright, intelligent girls. Thoughtful, caring, funny and fiercely independent. I love the person they've become. We can hold adult conversations about music or books or places we'd like travel. They still learn from me but I also now learn things from them; it's less about being the parent who does everything (like you have to with very small children) and more about being a parent who is also friend and guide. And chauffeur. And bank. Theres a lot more give and take in our relationship. I'm proud of all their accomplishments. Im still seeing all their firsts, but it's no longer first steps or first day of school, it's first job, first concert, first driving lesson. Sure cuddles are fewer now but they're all the more precious when I do get them. I'm enjoying this stage of our lives more than I ever thought I would.

  • Cassidy Bruen

    Yeah, I loved the world-building but I found I really disliked this book by the end. I was far more frustrated than you. The prose is amazing when it's on, but so often it turns into a semi-repetitive slog. Also, the unreliable narrator tactic only got me so far before I really just stopped caring. Things started to feel so rote by the mid-point - Kvothe is in dire straits, Kvothe digs himself out, Kvothe has an unexpected windfall or stroke of luck, Kvothe over-reacts through brashness/arrogance, Kvothe finds himself in dire straits again, rinse and repeat. That was doubly insufferable by how thin every character was, and how everything and everyone exists solely as a vessel to demonstrate how naturally gifted Kvothe is at everything. Sure, I get it should be taken with a grain of salt, but what is there compelling me to keep reading? By the end, I no longer gave a shit how he ended up hiding out as a barkeep. I don't like Kvothe and don't care about anyone else, so why would I devote X many hours to the next two books in this series?

  • Eldridge Hoppe

    Would you suggest the books that say there's nothing wrong with a national debt of 20 trillion and we should be happy to import goods and export laborious jobs at the expense of our domestic markets? Because quite frankly I am through with anti-intellectual hacks like yourself who have been chasing false premises for the last thirty years as you plunge our county and indeed world closer and closer to a natual social calamity that once again levels the lower class. You failure in understanding capotalism is thinking that economics has a sense of feeling, of caring about doing the right thing, and further, that the economists in charge are looking out for the people at large. They're capitalists at the top, every one of them, and have beenn from the start. The only reason they don't control everything is because government has enforced what you think are the natural laws of capitalism upon them. Here's a hint, if there has to be a law written to define a position, that position is not the natural state!

  • Dorothea Price

    I get what you are saying about not quitting the books. My main reason was because in the books after Voyager, I was actually skipping like 4 and 5 chapters at a time just to get to something I cared about reading. And then I would use Wikipedia to fill in what I might have missed. Then after seeing what a dick she could be, that really just cemented my firmness in not really caring when her new books were coming out. The spoilers, I have always been "meh" on those. When BTVS was still coming on I was rabid for spoilers and watched like I didn't know what was going on. But I have lots of shows that I watch that if I can't watch the show live, I stay away from social media and forums, period, because people in general can be dicks and post spoilers just because they think it is fun. BUT for the author to have such a blah blah blah attitude about it, that's wrong and it's almost like she's made her millions so who cares if she gets new fans or not. I LOL'd at "quit after book 4 because everything is too long" because it is so, so true.

  • Christop Bashirian

    When I was a kid there was a girl who lived up the street who I was sort of friends with. She started hanging out at my house even when I wasn't home, just chilling with my dad. She borrowed books, played with our dog, and just chilled in our rather ordinary suburban middle class home. A few years later I found out that spending time with my dad had helped her get through some really tough stuff in her home life. Her dad wasn't around and her mum was pretty distracted. She didn't have any healthy adults to interact with and observe. My dad gave her that, and after a while she sort of drifted away as she made other friends and grew out of the stage she was in. Unless you have concerns that your husband is doing something untoward here, I think you should be grateful that you have a man in your life who is caring toward young people. If you have any concerns at all about his intentions, however, you need to be honest with yourself about that.

  • Keaton Barrows

    I think that all of these answers come naturally as you begin to build confidence in yourself, start following the path you want in life, and as a result, stop caring about the opinions of others (men and women). This is an incredibly deep subject to address in a single response, but if I had to recommend anything, it would be to read both *The Book of Pook* (free), and possibly *The Way of Men*. *The Book of Pook* is a great resource on building confidence through putting yourself first, and understanding women while *The Way of Men* explores some of the 'traditional' virtues of men. It's worth noting that these are both books promoted by The Red Pill community, and while I don't agree with most of what I've seen on that sub, I do think that there are some good take-aways from these books. Just remember, not all advice is good advice and some of what you read will not resonate with you personally, but that's no reason to shun everything they discuss. Good luck!

  • Tremayne Schroeder

    So let him play from your lap. Read books, play with toys and puzzles, etc all from your lap. All humans have their own unique personalities even from an early age, so don't assume you did this to him. You sound caring and attentive and affectionate--in short, you sound like a good mom! My oldest was like that for the first 2 years and change. Had to be held all the time, couldn't sleep alone, nursed incessantly, colic, the whole nine yards and then some! Then she suddenly hatched and became a very gregarious, friendly, and confident little girl. She is now a lovely young lady full of ambition, talent, and brains. She's flying across the globe to study abroad in 2 weeks and is completely chill about it. This will not last forever even though right now it *feels* like it will! Hugs to you. Keep on doing like you're doing because there is absolutely nothing "wrong" with anything you've described to us.

  • Clare Bergnaum

    I dunno if that really counts as a huge deal. That is part of a back story that is pretty deep, and that detail doesn't really affect Harry and Company. It's a fascinating bit of lore, and changes a bit of the understanding of the Potter world, but it doesn't change much of how one casually reads the books. I agree with that one completely. That's why I think it's silly for his book to be less regarded. My point with Harry Potter is that I think it is stupid for conservative Christians to boycott Harry Potter for such an esoteric piece of lore. If Christians have a better argument for caring than people angry about Card's stance, then it's even worse for progressives to boycott Ender's Game. Basically, enjoy stuff for what it is. Author is dead, and all that. Or maybe even appreciate the things that the author is good at, while respectfully disagreeing with personal opinions. Can't we be civil?

  • Belle Collier

    She is alive, but has severe dementia so I can't really talk with her anymore. I still try and simply talk to her, hoping some will stick or leave some emotion and sometimes we just goof around and she laughs, probably not knowing why. Looking back, I think she can be proud, having successfully raised six children. Now I am a parent myself I know how hard it can be at times (and I have only two kids) She was important for my career as well, having stimulated my technical curiosity by buying me electronics kits and books. I wasn't very suitable for school, so the things I learned on my own later on helped me to utilize the chances I got and finally got me into engineering where I feel I belong. Thanks Mum! And dad too by the way, but the question was only about the mothers. I was one damn lucky kid, born in the right time, in a rich country born in a warm and caring family. I realized that only after I started traveling.

  • Kattie Wyman

    that's seriously awesome for you man, but u have to zoom out and understand that doctors are taught from books that use real life statistics to back up the claims. Also, drug companies are the ones that make side effect/contraindication claims. At least for warfarin, there is a **black box****** warning (like the strongest alert possible for a side effect/contraindication) of risk of major or fatal bleeding. At the end of the day, it's all about statistics. There was obviously a statistically significant amount of people that suffered these effects, or it wouldn't be such a strong warning. With that in mind, no one that values their job or is truly caring for someone on this drug, would sleep easy at night letting them perform activities that can lead to the possibility of dying.

  • Chris Hirthe

    Caring about people besides just white males, you are correct. And you are correct in that this is not a bad thing, However, this list seems focused on broadening the world view of the average white male, would it impact females and any LGBQT person? Yes, but it would expand the world view of the average white male the most. The goal of a list of books titled as this one should be to give the average person a well rounded mindset, so that every single person that's reads these books gains different perspectives that they haven't thought about before. This list does not do that. It would be better if they called it by what it is "30 books to broaden the mind of a white male". As a white male from a predominantly white state in the U.S., I have already added several of these books on my list so I am not at all saying any of these books are bad.

  • Kody Buckridge

    > Doing it "right" is making sure your kiddo is happy and healthy. Sounds he's both of those things. For me, being away for that time helps me be a better mom when I'm with them. I'm genuinely excited for the time we get to share and have 100x more patience to read the same books over and over. If he's happy where he is then there's no reason to feel guilty even if you're not by his side. I agree with this. Your little guy is happy, safe and well cared for at daycare. There is no need to feel guilty about him being there. Being a good mom is about making sure your child is being well cared for. It doesn't mean that you personally have to be the one caring for them at all times. I have to remind myself this daily too (just going back to work after my new baby), and it is hard being away from kids.

  • Paula Renner

    The Expanse is the one show that I want to see renewed the most, but I felt the same way about Game of Thrones 5 years ago. On the bright side, I think the worst thing "wrong" with GoT is that when they passed up the books and ran out of the original material they decided to take a different direction or throw the character out entirely (I think Rickon still has a cool part to play). Sometimes (Sansa) they have turned the characters into something else entirely and lost all of the development that made them worth investing in. We already have 6 books of the Expanse and the authors have been pretty good at putting out one book per year, plus they already know how the story will end, so I feel much safer caring about this series.

  • Imani Reinger

    How is immigration not black and white? * Did a person illegally enter the US? * Did a person overstay their VISA? * Did a person commit a border crossing violation? * Did a workplace properly conduct employment audits to reveal discrepancies with residency records? * Did the person lie about any of the above? There are laws on the books that clearly define what is and isn't acceptable behavior. "Hey, these people broke the law, but since they're nice folks and they keep my lettuce cheap, lets keep them around" They may be nice and they may keep my lettuce cheap, but I stopped caring at "they broke the law". If the law is a problem, then the law should be changed, but until it is changed, it's the law.

  • Santa Leannon

    Ah, well if its Feywild, I would go for some Fomorian guardians. Orcs are known to be lead by giants when bullied, and having a 4 Fomorian show up and take control over an Orc tribe is not a huge leap of faith. I would still keep the other group in the background, maybe cross path during the investigation into these fonts, and them not caring much about the Feywild ones. Make it seem like they are up to something far more sinister. Like, shopkeeper found dead, books relating to Feywild found ruffled through but discarded, a check shows that some other "similar" books are missing. Have this be a "secret" part of the shop, clear that whoever killed him knew what he possessed and where to get it. ;)

  • Foster Rohan

    Computer Science as we know it was in no small part pioneered by women, so clearly there is no "good" reason for women not to participate in that field today. I went to an elementary school book fair with my daughter last month. We thumbed through the books clearly aimed toward boys, which featured themes like exploration, creation, and technology. Some of the books geared toward girls had positive themes - there were lots of interpersonal dramas about sharing and caring for others - but we found zero about exploration, creation, or technology, at least in the sense that they would lend themselves to an interest in STEM. A worrying amount of books for girls were about clothes.

  • Greg Larson

    Dawn of War for me. It was a fun game and kind of a refreshing thing to play after endless games of Age of Empires II and Starcraft. My favorite army was the Eldar (90 percent because the Harlequins were just so cool to me when I was 15, the other 10 because I just really like the wuxia martial arts thing the aspect warriors had going) followed by the Imperial Guard. I looked the series up on the internet, and while I found the fluff entertaining nothing really hooked me in at the time because if everything was awful and shitty why bother caring for anything? Then I heard about Ciaphas Cain's books. I decided to buy the first omnibus, and I've been hooked ever since.

  • Marietta Turcotte

    Oh yeah, I don't think he's a bad person at all. He seems like a really caring open-minded person. I think 99% of his essay and subsequent blogs about the essay are perfectly reasonable and well thought out. It's just when he says: "At the same time, I accept and sustain the leaders of the LDS church. I believe that a prophet of God has said that widespread legislation to approve gay marriage will bring pain and suffering to all involved. I trust those whom I have accepted as my spiritual leaders. I feel that what they have said is God’s will." That really sours me on his writing and I don't feel comfortable purchasing his books anymore.

  • Brisa Hodkiewicz

    i get this, i did soccer, wrestling, and track and was in honor and AP classes, but i never really got along with popular kids since we didn't share interest except that we played sports and had some classes together. i preferred reading books and being a nerd then caring about what they cared about. i used to get pushed around but after i joined wrestling and starting knocking people out with ease they kinda just let me be. funny enough my friends think im a cool kid, i keep telling them that i am probably a biggest nerd alive XD

  • Bret Lockman

    These books seem to be popular, but Espionage & Etiquette by Gail Carriger was so bad. The main character had an awful name (Sophronia) and no personality beyond "spunk". She wasn't a character really at all - just a person who said things and asked the questions necessary to fabricate something like a plot. And the mystery plot was totally not worth caring about and there was nothing driving her to solve it beyond, basically, she's curious. No personal investment whatsoever. So don't try to make up for a lack of plot by having flat characters "speak" the plot along, if that makes sense.

  • Mack Volkman

    No kidding. I read the books (well, up through #4), and frankly so far I *prefer* the show. The books weren't bad reading, but the characterization was executed poorly overall IMO - the more books I read, the less I find myself caring about the characters, only the protomolecule backstory. The show is doing a dramatically better job of making me actually care about the characters and fleshing them out, as well as showing more of what's really going on. It's not Holden and his crew on a grand space adventure.

  • Adela Schroeder

    I don't understand what they're saying on the red pill. Actually, people here and on Askmen told me not to change to attract women, and that relationships are not important. Also people in general like to make fun of me unprovoked, so you can imagine my amusement at a society which claims to care about emotions. They then advise me not to worry about what people think of me, so I don't. Hence emotional detachment. Of course, I can get into the books and speeches I've seen about not caring, but you see the angle.

  • Linnea Morar

    For me it felt gratuitous only because we didn't get anything else out of the scene. Ramsay is a monster, Reek is tortured, and things really don't go Sansa's way. What else is new? Also why did Littlefinger sell her off to the Boltons in the first place? I get that he's ambitious and it's a power play, but caring about Catelyn and Sansa seemed to be one of his few redeeming qualities. Seems out of character for him. Sadly, GoT got a whole lot less smart when they ran out of books to draw from.

  • Amani Christiansen

    Agreed - I think this one of the rare cases where the show really is better. I felt like the books (I've read through book 4) really struggled with characterization, and found myself wishing the characters would just get on with it so they'd get to the more interesting sci-fi elements. I haven't felt that way so far with the show at all - the characters feel much more like real people, if a tad over - dramatic, and I find myself actually caring about them.

  • Randall Orn

    I agree that is how I saw him but we both read the books. Gotta give it up for the show for not caring about body types. One thing I would want to see them portray is his lack of interest in things. He seemed semi chipper but I hope this isn't the end of him. I agree this show does have a lot of potential. One major thing that I find separates the book and the show is the amount of time that passes in the books. I would love to see a confident Q and lose the Reynard storyline.

  • Keenan Jones

    I usually shut people out (politely) and figure out why I'm feeling this way and how I can fix it. I usually just throw on some tunes and do my hair and makeup. Other days I watch inspirational videos but if you absorb more through words, books are great. I learned that caring about appearance holds you back so much. Some days I still care but I take it one day at a time. Some days I feel like a dirty potato and other days I feel like hot French fries.

  • Precious Turner

    Last week, I finished **Elephants can remember, by Agatha Christie**. I was disappointed. I read Christie books because they are fun and I love a good mystery. But, it seemed like she stopped caring about her characters and the story. This week, I'm reading **Conservatives without conscience, by John Dean**. It seems as timely now as it probably was 10 years ago when it first came out. This one may take me more than a week to read.

  • Ellis Rowe

    This book was written for young women, but I read it as a boy and it was ENORMOUSLY helpful. It made me an empathetic and caring partner. I recommend you get this for your daughters immediately. And maybe read it yourself, as it will put a lot of things in perspective for you. https://books.google.com/books/about/Our_Bodies_Ourselves.html?id=kCkc2HIzKhYC&source=kp_cover

  • Emely Ferry

    Albus Dumbledore. He is simultaneously one of the most powerful wizards ever and such a genuinely kind and caring man that no one could ever dislike him. He constantly watches over Harry and let's him do what he needs while having his own plans in the works. My favorite thing about him is how he keeps the books light hearted. His character is so complex and has so much depth that you are always left wanting to know more.

  • Mylene Hansen

    Well Debt of Honor explains how he ended up there the first time. But honestly everything published after the long gap between Red Rabbit/Teeth of Tiger and the next book I doubt had anyone caring about consistency. Clancy himself died only a couple years after the books started coming out again, so the "coauthors" were the real writers.

  • Crystal Erdman

    It's like people wanting to take pictures with a celebrity. It just comes with the territory. It sucks, but thats just the way it is. Better than no one asking or caring about your books. He's famous because we care. If we didn't care, then he wouldnt be rich or have a movie/tv deal and and a highly anticipated book. It's how you deal with it that matters. Just be happy that people care about what you do.

  • Kaden Gibson

    Anyone curious about good BDSM books with a love story should check out The Boss by Abigail Barnette. The female protagonist is strong, self assured, mature, sexually experienced, and independent. The male is older, wiser, kinder, caring, and non-abusive. They're the antithesis of Gray and Anastasia.

  • Lorenz Cruickshank

    There are some little kid books you can read with him about these topics. I believe the Berenstain Bears have books on stuff like this and I'm sure there are more too. If you read him books with caring/ sharing/ kindness themes for a while at story time that may help. Also a big fan of positive reinforcement here too!

  • Heloise Schmeler

    It must be so horrible to have fans who are enthusiastic about his work and who buy his books. Wonder if he would be happy if everyone stopped caring about his next book and nobody bought it. He doesn't want anyone to ask about it but I'm pretty sure he wants all the same people to be excited and buy it when it finally comes out.

  • Kaya Metz

    Did you know what I meaned? Then that's all I could not care less could caring care about irregardless of what how your wanting communication to looks like. No books in the schedule for today, unfortunately. Just pointless internet arguments.

  • Roel Lebsack

    If you wanted to create some object to help you carry stuff further, chances are you'd end up with a wheelbarrow. Algorithms are essentially recipes for making these objects. Not caring about algorithm books is like making your own wheelbarrow, except you only use square wheels.

  • Courtney McKenzie

    This sub is pretty great about spoilers and I don't go to too many other places for comic books news. Though I only just got caught up on Action, so I only started caring about the Clark Kent mystery like last week.

  • Dixie Conn

    I cant wait for the next sequel to 14. I started on Peter Clines zombie series and it was fun for the first few books but he clearly stopped caring about that universe at some point.

  • Amani Schumm

    Reading books make women stop caring about how they look. It makes so much sense now.

  • Norval Schuppe

    I might come back for prompt one later, IDK. **Prompt 2, feat. Henry Amell** They never trained Mages to be heroes, or soldiers, or merchants, or politicians, or anything but Mages, dedicated to do nothing but tread so softly on the world as to appease the Maker's Wrath at their predecessors who breached the Golden City, and prevent their horrid curse from endangering the lives of others. Henry is twenty-two, one of the two Grey Wardens remaining in Ferelden at the dawn of a Blight, and he doesn't know how to pitch a tent, or cook a meal, or throw a punch. He knows that there are a hundred coppers in a silver and a hundred silvers in a sovereign, and that a sovereign is called a royal in Orlais an andris in Antiva, and a double griffon in the Anderfels, and that the reason why every currency has the same valuation is because the Dwarven merchant's guild demanded it, but not how much is right to spend on a mug of ale or a bowl of soup or a pair of boots. He knows twenty-seven medicinal uses for elfroot (well, he got twenty-four of them right on the exam, and it was years ago), but not how to recognize it growing out of the ground instead of pre-plucked. He knows, more or less, how to make a woman come, but not that he is allowed to love one. He knows how to cast spells, but no situation in which he should beyond proving to teachers and Templars that he knows how to do so without attracting the attention of a demon. He knows how to shoot fire from his hands, but not how to get the scent of burnt flesh out of his nose or the screams of the villager who he killed. He knows that *magic exists to serve man and never to rule over him, foul and corrupt are they who have taken his gift and turned it against his children*, and what that means in a dusty tower filled with books, but not what it means to be an Andrastian in a war when using magic to maim and kill is the only way to prevent further death and suffering. And Henry didn't know, daydreaming through sermons at the chapel, that the answer to that question would matter to him when it came down to it, that the Chant would ever mean anything to him other than a string of words and syllables to memorize to earn the favor of the Templars. And he knew, from his half-remembered childhood and books and stories and the tales of recaptured apostates that there was a world outside of Kinloch Hold that had people living in it, but not how to exist in it or that he deserved to be there. In some ways, this served him well. Without the structure and rigidity of any real combat training or experience of it at all beyond reading about rather fantastical and over-dramatic battles in books, Henry was able to better adapt to the realities of fighting in a tiny, often poorly equipped and desperate band than if he'd been trained as a soldier. Having been taught against ever using violence to resolve conflicts, and knowing stories of great heroes who managed to give great speeches and talk themselves out of problems left him better able to find alternative solutions in which many fewer people ended up dead. Needing to rely on his companions for the basics of camping and spending, while still being smart and charismatic enough to be their leader helped forge genuine bonds in which everyone learned to work well together, and provided a democratic approach in which everyone was able to get the gear that they needed. Being utterly unprepared for the situation helped him keep an open and flexible mind. In others, well, a Blight is hardly the best introduction to the real world, and needing to learn how to function as a person in outside society while at the same time saving the world in many ways cripples both objectives. For better or for worse, a lot of Henry's idealism about a world he'd previously only known through curated stories is very painfully shattered through his experiences, but in other ones it grows. Being forced into a situation in which the letter of the law of the Chant was utterly insufficient to help with the complexity of the situation pushed him to really analyse the religion he grew up with as a matter of fact, and having Leliana and her beliefs around during that process as both a friend and a lover helped him start to see the Maker as someone who loved him and wanted what was best for him instead of as a distant and hateful god, and through that realization that he actually *deserved better* than the life that the Circle had set out for him, and that he's both empowered to and responsible for not only 'saving' the world, but doing his piece and using the influence he gains as Hero of Ferelden to make it a better place for everyone. **Prompt 2, feat. Ashton Hawke** The life that Ashton Hawke's parents spent his childhood and young adulthood preparing him crashed down around him when Loghain MacTir lost the battle against the Darkspawn at Ostagar, and the Horde began its march towards Lothering. The insularity of their small-town life and partial isolation from even their fellow villagers for the sake of Malcolm and Bethany's safety left Ash ill equipped for life in a big city and unhappy and uncertain of how to behave there. Malcolm's particular irreverent sense of humor did little to prepare his elder son to function well among Kirkwall's guard and nobility, and the sweeping romance of Malcolm and Leandra's escape from the city instilled something of an open hostility towards it. The other thing that Ash learned from that story being an omnipresent backdrop of his childhood is that love, ultimately, conquers all. That it's more important than money, more important than society, more important than comfort and tradition, and that Templars and the Chantry don't know shit about what makes people happy and it's the job of love and family to prevail over the pressures of the world. Malcolm's insistence in teaching Ash from childhood that it was his job beyond anything to protect Bethany from the Circle only served to reinforce that point more strongly. Although Ashton was the only one of the Hawke children for whom these lessons combined with Malcolm's long illness and death during a still-formative period resulted in reactive atheism, he felt that very strongly. This upbringing, with the importance of love and family and view of Templars, rather than Orlesians or Darkspawn, as the ultimate boogeyman that could tear everything apart taught Ash how, why, and who to fight. It put him in a position where he was ready to risk everything to go into the Deep Roads to gather the funds to protect Bethany, capable of defeating the Arishok in single combat, and willing to take a stand against Kirkwall's Templars without a second thought. That mix of belief in love conquering all, the hatred and fear of Templars and the Chantry, and the hiding and social isolation leaving him significantly less experienced and more naive than most are large parts of what lead Ashton to make the decision that would end up in many ways defining his life- that to trust a possessed apostate more than anyone else in the world, and to love him truly unconditionally, to the point of choosing Anders' safety and ideals over his own well-being, and, despite not being inclined towards large-scale politics himself, siding with him even when that meant facing down much of rest of the world for the good of The Mages in general. He gained a lot of self esteem over the course of his journey, largely due to the friendships that he was able to form along the way, but ultimately his core beliefs were only confirmed and strengthened by his experience. Losing Bethany to the Wardens and Leandra to a murderer hurt very deeply, but only confirmed the importance of love and family. In particular, Quentin's words upon Leandra's death, that 'Love is the most powerful force in the universe' in a perverse way only confirmed that opinion rather than fighting it. Knowing Anders, and being forced to fight by his side against the world at large did so even further. Kirkwall, and especially Anders and Justice, did a little to shift Ash towards caring more about politics and The Rights of All Mages, and he certainly learned and agreed with Anders' rhetoric, but for by far the most part as a core belief Ashton never stopped caring about the 'little picture' of the good of the people in his little "family" far beyond that of 'the world'.

  • Scottie Stanton

    This doesn't apply to my true "Best Friends", because the road to becoming my best friend is a difficult one that only truly trustworthy people who are deeply rooted in their morals and really care end up lasting years with me. Everyone else is eventually eliminated or phased-out as I don't deem them worthy. I have two friends. I guess you could call them "Best", but in truth they are the "only". I only consider someone a friend if they can hang on as well as they have. Everyone else is just an acquaintance. I feel this is the correct way to do things - "Friend" should be a very close term while "acuaintance" describes people you work with or went to school with etc - those are not friends, just some people you toyed with a little. --- Why a friendship with me may fail (99% do): * I am always the one starting the discussion. I will instigate the conversation a fair number of times, especially if I was the party interested in getting to know them first - if I instigated conversation first, most likely it's an attractive girl that I have an interest in (as I almost never start a conversation with anything else - there's no reason to). However, I'll eventually stop and wait. If after a fair amount of socializing they still don't feel the desire to message me first, then I can see how it is already. This is gonna be a relationship where I'm going to be the only one that really cares about it and doing all the work. Nope, screw that, got other things to do. * The Attraction Begins, *and Ends*, at Sex I tend to be interested in being friends until I realize there's literally no reason the two of us would talk other than to bone each other. We have almost nothing in common and live totally different lifestyles. Yeah sorry, I'm out. I need to stop making friends based on what my cock says, but other than it I never feel the desire for them at all. I think if I didn't have testicles I'd honestly not care about socializing with people at all. I'd be pretty soley focused on making myself richer and more powerful. I'm a very mission-minded person after all. * They're Shallow as Fuck (Hilarious Coming From Me) Sometimes they're just dumb as a sick of dirt. They're poorly educated or.. are just really annoying. There's different varieties of this "shallow as fuck" category: - The downright stoopid. Can't spell, grammar sucks, make fun of you for reading books, and their common knowledge is non-existent. You can't talk politics or economics or philosophy with these types or they'd just look at you like they're 5 years old and you're explaining tenser calculus or something. - The "I think I'm the next big author/philosopher" type. These morons sit on their Facebooks and type a new poem every damn day for those circlejerk comments of praise. Or they may think they're the next literary genius for whatever reason they pull out of their ass - maybe they make fanfiction or something. My takeaway from these is they THINK they're way smarter than they are. No offense to actual artists and stuff. But anymore there seems to be a thin line between what I consider real artists, and the artsy hipsters who are all total wannabes. - Models. People that just show off picture after picture of themselves. They'll take 10 in a day. They're completely full of themselves and are narcissists. - The pity-party types. If you add them on any social media they'll have a new emo/depressing status every damn day. And it's not just a phase - they'll do it for years and years. They're just pity-seekers and while I'm an empathetic person, they are an insult to people who really have problems. - The type to *make shit up*. God is this prevalent on the net - I can tell when you're straight-up making-up stories. I know this story of "My best friend and whole family was murdered in front of me!" and "I was basking in the blood of my enemiessss" stories are complete bullshit and I'm not going to entertain them. I find this becomes less common as I get older, probably because I'm not in the company of teenagers anymore, but it still happens sometimes and it's pathetic. - THE GYM. Yeah I don't think I need to explain this one. Every other status post is THE GYM THE GYM THE GYM THE GYM THE GYM * I'm the one that's incompatible. Sometimes it's me. It really is just me. I'm not compatible with everyone either - I'm sort of a... South Park / Rick Sanchez type of cynic and realist and a bit morally apathetic person. You can expect me to be right in your face about the hard realities of life and say the craziest shit straight-up in an audience of people. I'm already well-off so I end up just saying what I want and not really caring what other people think of what I think. Some people LOVE this about me for some reason - they can trust me for the honest truth and for me to be pretty objective-minded about things - I think about things in the context of the universe and how pointless the entire human struggle is. For some that's refreshing and realistic. But others will find it rude and cynical. But at the end of the day I'm the type to get shit done because I'm rooted in reality and not going to deal with anyone's bullshit. * There's Just No Reason For It To Exist I've come to realize that humans don't do ANYTHING for *no reason*. Well, this is something I've known since I was a kid, but... Here's the deal. People won't get up in the morning without some kind of reason. People have their egos, their selfishness, of which the seven sins stem from. They want money, sex, power, food, pride, to be better than others, and to exert their emotions, and they often wanna do it all for the least amount of work. I can't imagine I'd get up in the morning if I didn't have pride in the projects I work on (Pride is probably my greatest sin, followed by Wrath). I also can't imagine people would look for friendships for any reasons other than to serve one of these sins. Quite honestly in my case usually what influences my social decisions is Lust. Usually my social interactions are calculated moves to get to some goal I wanted to reach. Maybe I'll befriend you simply because I find you amusing or "because of time". That's really what holds me and my two best friends together I suppose. My male best friend is someone I just made friends with out of having a lot in common and finding him entertaining. My female one is someone I used to be with, but since then we somehow have become lifelong friends. I don't really have a seven-sins explanation for these two except that they're just somehow there as a consequence of circumstances. But most of my lesser "friendships" are either girls I want a relationship with, or people that I can show-off to and stroke my own ego with - like people who enjoy video games [so I can show-off on YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLWVbFfh7aP1EPiQN4sVCNpI8lyXrzmc1x) or people that like nerdy/sciency/tech stuff so I can show-off my inventions and creations (there's lots of forms of that). It's funny, while I act like a humble nobody throughout life usually, if you peel away that first external layer you'll find I'm actually quite a prideful little shit. I don't show it publicly though - I'm actually really polite and softspoken because I know that's beneficial (people will treat prideful people more harshly - they soften when they see someone that's self-depreciating and humble). --- All in all, what I look for in a person is a balance of traits. Someone that doesn't veer too far to any one thing. Someone that understands the deeper meanings in things, and can talk about life and the cosmos and fantasy and all of that, but while staying rooted in reality and realistic. Someone that's emotional, soft enough to understand feelings, but strong enough to be able to toughen when need-be. I don't like people that let one thing take over their lives or have basically just one personality trait.

  • Katlynn Bogisich

    It sounds like just you need some confidence to get the ball rolling. I'm not sure where you lost it along the way but I give you my word that those feelings can come back to you again. I'm not a doctor and won't pretend to be. I have no idea how useful drugs are for depression. I can tell you that I personally didn't need them, or at least didn't need them supplemented. I dealt with a rough patch in my life when I was quite young. My father was my absolute hero and he chose the booze over his family. I felt rejected by Superman. It broke my heart and I numbed it through eating and secluding myself, leading to weight gain. I would always tell myself that I'd fix myself. I wasn't sure when but I felt that it was coming and when it did, I'd step out of the shadows and reveal a new me that girls liked and guys envied... and I told myself this... and I told myself this... and I told myself this... I told myself this for so long that years went by and nothing changed. What I didn't tell myself, likely because I didn't realize, is that these things don't come to you be happenstance. It doesn't show up to your door like a man in a suit informing you that a long lost Uncle has left you millions in their will. Depression is a hole that there is no ladder or rope to get out of. There's no secret answer way out that can be found in gurus or self help books. Those things make you feel hopeful for a moment of time and fade as you come to realize that reading it hasn't changed your circumstances at all. I've heard stories of people going to dozens of self help speeches and workshops and dozens and dozens more only to keep going and spending money, trying to barter what can't be bought or taught, only found. Here's the secret to discovering happiness. You could read this right now and feel some external source of inspiration through words and I promise you til the day I die it will not last. It has to be found from within. More on that in a second. So I was dealing with my weight in my early teens and even though nobody else seemed to care, I built this make believe reality that it was an issue that people were judging me on. Something holding me back. If I just lose the weight, then I can do x or y. But the weight must go first. In reality, the weight wasn't what held me back. It was my inability to believe in myself. My weight didn't prevent me from lifting weights or jogging. It was my stubbornness and lack of confidence in the outcome of my own decisions. There came a day when I felt just like you, perhaps worse. I felt invisible and felt I deserved it and it pissed me off. I used to fucking be somebody. Somebody that people asked to sit next to in class. I used to be somebody that people thought was outgoing. Somebody that did well in sports and was asked to dances. And there I sat in my room with the lights off feeling invisible, like I've been forgotten. It pissed me off so much that I turned on my lights at 2 in the morning and just started tossing my shit in the trash. My PS2 games, my sad music CD's, my toys from my childhood. I threw it all away. That may seem extreme but it was as much literal as it was metaphoric. I wanted to start over. That weekend I asked my parents to give me money for a gym membership and they were kind enough to help me. This one decision saved my life. The first time I went to the gym, I wore some of the baggiest clothes I could find, thinking I'd hide my weight insecurities. I had no idea what I was doing. I'd jump from the treadmill to the overhead press machine to the free weights. No idea. I finally summoned the courage to ask the biggest guy in the gym what I should do and you know what happened? He was fucking enthused to help me. Maybe he was just honored to be asked, maybe he felt bad, I don't know. I started befriending a group of guys that lifted around the time I went to the gym. People can say what they will about meatheads but their encouragement helped me greatly and within a year I had lost over 50lbs and my body fat was down to 11%. My confidence skyrocketed. I could look people in the eyes again. I could initiate conversation. Excersize gave to me what drugs didn't. It gave me a sense of pride and accomplishment; A way to document my own progress in something. Something to point to and see that I'm making positive strides. Now is excersize the answer to depression? Probably not within itself but that's beside the point. The underlying lesson I learned was that simply making an effort to get out and improve myself was the hardest and most important step to freeing myseld. Waking up at 4 AM when I didn't have to. Shaving when I didn't have to. Holding myself responsible for self assigned goals and blowing them out of the water. You're not lost. You're just looking. Looking for a better you. If the universe were infinite, then imagine the infinite versions of you. The you that became a millionaire. The you that got absolutely jacked like Dwayne Johnson. The you that directed a movie. If there's an infinite amount of yous making an infinite amount of decisions, ask yourself which version you're currently living life as and how to change that for the better. Picture driving a car on an empty back road going nowhere in particular. The steady speed and not caring where it goes. That's your life now... Now picture coming to a stop... taking a deep breath... telling yourself you know what you want... and kicking your car in reverse and going back the way you came going full speed smiling. That is the change needed. People will tell you small steps. Maybe that works, maybe it doesn't. Who am I to say. For me, it was diving into the fucking water that shocked me into changing my life. You have everything it takes to do what you want in life, you just need a reason to do it. Something from within. Somebody that turned you down. Somebody that laughed at you. Somebody that ignored you. This is a fountain of motivation that most don't have the privilege of drawing from and it's yours. Just yours to keep pushing when your heart keeps beating. You need internal belief and self love. It's inside you. Everything you're capable of. Like a man who feels weak until his wife is trapped under a burning car. Maybe he feels weak. Maybe he's been made fun of. Maybe he's not 'manly'. But with that adrenaline, he lifts the car off of her. An amazing feat of strength that's actually happened in this exact fashion. Maybe it's like a mother that comes home to see a man has broken into her home and is harming her daughter. Maybe she's sweet. Maybe she's never fought a fly. Maybe she's been on autopilot for a decade, going with the flow. But for that one moment she has the anger to unleash the hell of a million armies on that man. These are things deeply embedded in us, pumping through our veins. Waiting for the right circumstance to be released. And it's inside you... waiting to be released. So don't feel hopeless or incapable. Those feelings are as deceiving as feeling like you could lift the Earth. It's are trick of the mind. Believe in yourself. Find an objective in life. Whether it's going back to school or becoming a lawyer or simply making friends. You have the tools embedded inside to push through and improve yourseld. But it starts with making positive choices. No feeling will do it for you. No person or coach will do it for you. Only you can make the positive changes. If you think you have the answers to improvement and you do nothing but sit there and enjoy the fact that you've found them, they won't work. Only getting up and getting out, those terms that if you're like me you found daunting, will help break the mundane moments of life and get you out of a funk. Love and believe in yourself. You got this.

  • Esther Ruecker

    TEST YOURSELF is the best way to study. That can be done in so many ways, and sometimes you need to use different methods for different classes. Flash cards, practice questions, just talking out loud (ex- try and summarize everything you know about X condition) and trying to explain things to yourself/your sutdy group if you have one. Re-reading your notes over and over again (how a lot of people try to study, and for a long time how I studied because I didn't know how else to and kinda b/c it's the lazy method of studying) isn't going to help most people get an A. If you want an A, you need to test yourself. Put forth some effort. Also, try to study "everything" at once if you can. You have a pharm test next week and a patho test the following week? DO NOT fall into the trap of JUST studying for pharm until the pharm exam, then JUST studying for patho until the patho exam, etc. Some programs run pharma and patho in the same semester, some don't. I'm in an accelerated program and we do. For the most part, everything our first semester lined up pretty well in terms of the topics we discussed in lecture. So when we talked about cardiac problems in patho, we discussed cardiac drugs that same week in pharm, talked about CV assessment in health assessment, and caring for CV pts in foundations. If your program runs like this, USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE! It's really hard to understand the way a drug works if you don't fully understand the patho of the disease process. From the beginning, make concept maps for each disease process/situation. Summarize everything you know about the patho, add in all the drugs you discuss in class, summarize the care and health assessment. Draw some pictures (or use google images if you prefer online note taking) to help you! If you use your laptop, search "nursing education [disease/illness]") and you will get a lot of these awesome cartoons that will help you memorize them. I always copy and paste them into my notes. It's from a nursing education publisher--there's a coloring book you can buy (I think it's from Nursing Education Consultants) but I prefer online notes, and most of the time I can find someone else's colored picture on google images. BAM, you now know everything about...heart failure, for example, and instead of studying from 5 different notebooks, you have the jist of everything in one spot. I always try to review my lecture notes within a day of the lecture. I don't like to look back on it immediately, I give it at least a few hours. Then I go back and re-read, clean it up, sometimes rewrite stuff ..I prefer to put things in my own words whenever possible, helps me learn--this is a good thing to try and do yourself especially when taking lecture notes or book notes. Whenever possible, re-word something by putting it in your own words. As a rule of thumb, if you don't understand the paragraph enough to paraphrase it, you need to do some more studying. This is one of the only times I re-read my notes like this. Then I try to make my concept maps. Again, use your own words whenever possible (but obviously some things can only be said so many ways..but know that a lot of the time, you CAN simplify something and retain the meaning). Since my school uses NCLEX style questions for all the exams, I try to study those types of questions. There's A LOT of nursing textbooks and review books floating around on the internet..use them. It doesn't matter if it's from a publisher that's different from what your school uses, it's all pretty much the same information. What you want are the questions. Do as many questions as you can, and don't just do them right before a test. Do them throughout the semester. if you can manage to keep yourself on top of everything and "do everything at once' instead of falling into the trap of focusing on one subject, then the next, then the next, you will find you actually have more free time and you won't need to cram right before any tests, because you will have been studying all the subjects pretty thoroughly before an exam. I do like to make quizlet flash cards for pharmacology though, because I'm a "process" type of person in terms of things I can memorize easily, and so just memorizing drugs was hard for me. It was easy for me to remember how the drug works and how it causes its side effects (b/c that's all kind of a process if you think about it) but I had a hard time matching things up--what drugs matched up to what diseases, etc. Repetition was what worked for me in terms of things that require rote memorization. Quizlet or hand made flash cards are your friend (but quizlet is way faster fyi) I dont recommend recording lectures unless you have a specific class that is extra difficult and you are an audio learner. But even then, it's just way too much to re-listen to an entire lecture. I've done it and don't recommend it. Use youtube instead. There are a lot of great channels out there like Khan Academy, TootRN, and some other nursing education ones that will give you a much more concise summary of everything you need to know about, say, heart failure. Much better than relistening to your professor all over again. It's also helpful to hear things in someone else's words! Sometimes my professor says it one way and I don't totally get it, but when I watch a youtube video or reference my textbook which will explain it differently, I understand it. Make to do lists for every day. Be realistic, you can't outline 8 chapters in one day and still go to class, eat, sleep, etc. It may take a little bit to figure out your pace for each semester and what you can do within a day, but if you make to do lists and hold yourself accountable, it works really well. Organize your week. I use google calendar as well as sticky notes for daily lists. I used to use a paper planner but found that I rarely used it this semester since we didn't have much assigned homework or stuff like that, and when we did have assignments I just made note in google calendar. I've been trying to do everything as digitally as possible (save paper, also keep everything on my laptop/cloud drive instead of having a million notebooks) GET ENOUGH SLEEP. I get 8-9 hours most nights. Sometimes 7 here and there. I go to the gym 4x/week. I maintain a household. I cook dinner almost every night from scratch. I am one of the top students in my class, and I'm in an accelerated program. I am lucky enough that my husband makes enough money that I do not need to work right now, but if I did have to work part time I could make it work (I would just not have time to go to the gym and dinner would not be as good). My point is, BE ORGANIZED, HOLD YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE, AND TEST YOURSELF WITH VARIOUS METHODS and you will succeed :)

  • Evans Marquardt

    People do judge books by the cover. Looks get your foot in the door, but it's never ever the "thing" that keeps happy couples together. >Most of my friends are on Tinder, and they get matches and dates pretty much in direct correlation to their looks. That's because it's a matching game entirely based on pictures. Of course Tinder is focused on looks. There is no other way to judge a person. I mean, I have never personally used Tinder but I know it just shows you one PICTURE after another and you swipe right or left. So each persons image gets like a 1 second quick judgement before moving into the next one. There are so many photoshoppy and camera trickery ways to take a good picture. ONCE YOU HAVE LEARNED TO LOVE YOURSELF FIRST :) and you hit up that Tinder scene again, I think you should use reddits help (for photo tips, photo shop, or mass opinions on which photo to use) and get the best foot in the door you can get. >I have friends who are genuinely good and caring people, and have a lot of going for them in the personality and intellectual department, but they can hardly get any dates I know it seems like it's all about looks, but I promise you it's not. I'm only 30. It wasn't that long ago I was in college. I had many friends. From girls who got wasted at frat party's and slept with a different guy each week to girls who were beautiful book worms and only ever went to school sponsored events. Yes looks played a factor, but it only ever had the most weight at the very start. To get that foot in the door. Personality was everything once the words started flowing. A guy could be a 10, but if he was awkward or boring or mean or crude or disrespectful, they never lasted long. Confidence was the number 1 thing that would get a girl love drunk though. >I know, because I went through periods when I strongly focused on dating, and it was a vicious cycle of getting rejected because I was needy and kinda desperate to "get with someone" So you had 3 girlfriends, but does this comment suggest you have had more than that in "dates" or girls you have started getting to know but then it fizzled out? If yes, that tells me you have SOMETHING going for you. What is it? What about you gets the foot in the door? If you still talk to any of these girls and someone can give you feedback about what they think is your most attractive feature, start there. Figure out what your secret sauce is. You have something. Figuring that out, strengthen it, focus on it. Find the thing that makes you special, attractive, unique and focus on it. Let it fill you with confidence. Feelings of being proud of yourself for all the positive things about you. Make a list. Tape it to the wall. Read it every day. Keep focusing on all the things you love (and other people love) about you until it feels normal/comfortable/the default way you look at yourself. Learn to be proud of you. >If you have more to say about how to achieve that, it would be a great piece of advice to read. 1.) Figure out what you love about yourself and what your secret sauce is from the opinion of others. Let it become your new focus. Do things that put your focus on these aspects of who you are. For example, maybe your secret sauce is that you are very kind and a good listener. Everyday, go out of your way to do something kind and to give someone an ear. Or maybe you are really friggin good at a certain video game. Find chat rooms or Reddit subs or whatever it is you kids (lol) go to these days to talk about your games and start making connections. Whatever makes you feel good about yourself, do it more. Fill more of your time everyday doing stuff that makes you feel really friggin proud of you. This is where you start. 2.) you got to get past the neediness somehow. This one is hard. Because you have this great unfulfilled need that you are focused on. It's really hard to walk away from that need when you feel like you haven't gotten it satisfied yet. I don't know what to tell you to do (because I don't know you well enough) to shift your focus. I would suggest getting someone in your life that you can talk to. Like a therapist. So you can start by working out this feeling you have. You need to talk about it, get it out of you. Then with a therapist, you can talk about ways you can shift that focus to activities and obsessions that make YOU a better person. But I can almost guarantee you probably come across needy and desperate a lot. And I can definitely guarantee that no matter how attractive you are, that will turn every girl off and push them away. You could be Justin friggin Bieber and if your ass is calling me or texting me all the time or complaining about how much attention or my time you are getting or always just doing "whatever I want to do" without ever deciding things or having an opinion in things (my husband, ugh!) it will drive girls away. Also, it's a self centered way to approach any relationship. Try not to focus on how you feel or what you want and focus on the other persons feeling or needs. Listen to them about what they like, what turns them on, what makes them feel loved. What is their love language? (Some people like simple gestures like love notes, others feel love from sex, some feel it from their partner doing things they ask, etc.) focus on them 3) this is hardest of all and comes last because it will never happen until you're balls deep into 1 and 2 first, but stop looking for love. And you can't force this one. It won't work if you are telling yourself "stop it. You stop looking for love right now!" You have to genuinely not care about it because you are genuinely content when you are alone. Like I said, in 2, it's hard for me to tell you how to get there without knowing you better and this I really think a therapist would be good for. They get to know you and then they know exactly what to say to you to get your brain heading down the right path. But those 3 things, (1) focusing your day to day life on what you love about you (2) getting into therapy to work through your feelings about being desperate for love (3) stop looking for love (love happens to you when you least expect it. always.) WILL translate into you giving off the impression of confidence. Which I swear to god is the sexiest thing a man can have ever. One last thing to say because I wanted to say it but at this point I don't know where to throw it in so.... >I also knew some guys in college who were total douchebags, unreliable, immature, cheating, selfish, but got tons of girls because they were good looking. It wasn't only because they were good looking. I'm sure that helped, gets that foot in the door AND more easily gives them that confidence in talking about, but it's without a doubt not the reason why they get girls. What your describing is a fact about life as old as life itself. Jerky guys always get the girls. Why? Because of confidence. Because those douchbags genuinely didn't care what anyone thought. They knew they were hot shit. They really KNOW it. It shines through. That confidence is what is getting them girls. However (unless they eventually change) being a douchebag only gets you so far. At a young age, it will easily get you laid and might get you a few short term relationships. But that personality type will never having a happy loving wife, marriage and kids. He might get those things but they won't be happy. It's impossible. You can't be a jerk and be happy. The trick is, having confidence and kindness. That gets you real love. That gets you happy relationships and happy lives I have to stop here because my toddler is up my friggin ass right now and won't let me sit for 10 minutes to type. See, friggin neediness, man lol so annoying!

  • Alvena Wisozk

    First Impressions: Alright, so I’m going to focus on the overall story rather than pick nits. You said this is non-fiction, but it is written in a story-telling/fictional style, so that's how I'll address it. First off, I found it rather confusing that the gender of the main character was not made clear early on. Later she is Bri, but that could also be short for Brian. Perhaps it was just my take, but a gender reference for clarity could help. A clear span of age of the five siblings earlier on might also help. Having an encounter with the oldest brother didn't initially say what his age was, and thus his smoking could be anything from shocking to not a big deal. I was trying to keep track of the siblings, their ages, and which was which. They were too similar, and some serious differentiation could make them much stronger voices who stand out. The tone, in general, was interesting at times, but also a bit rambling. It felt as if there were aspects of a character and possible back-story, but they didn't build to fruition. Laying bricks but not getting a completed house at the end, if that makes sense. Characters Bri: Okay, so she is the youngest of the family, and has a healthy imagination, but what is her relationship like with her siblings? You did a nice job initially showing her adult issues and how as a child she and her mother were close, but the tightness, or lack thereof, with her brothers and sister could help show why she has imaginary friends. I wondered if her brothers and sisters were imaginary, but I suppose that is for later chapters. Mother: She doesn't have anything to do, but as a touchstone who is referenced regularly, a bit more fleshing out would be nice. How does she treat the others? Does she make pancakes on the weekend? She was in school, but for what (and how did she afford it while caring for several children?) Then she worked full-time, it's a jarring transition. There are a lot of questions about her that it'd be nice to have addressed, but in a very casual manner. I'm not suggesting making her a central character in the chapter, just touching on what makes her who she is a bit more to create a tangible character. Brothers: Craig seems to be a somewhat key relationship, but he wasn't fleshed out much. Describing him as blond was a bit of an oddly worded description, but then I thought if the kids had different hair, almost as if they had different fathers (hinting at possible infidelity?) it could be interesting. Likewise, if they are imaginary, that could also play in later. He needs something to make it clear which one he is. All of the siblings do, really. You should be able to remove a character's name and know who is talking or doing something by their voice/style/actions alone. It's more of a screenplay note, but it also applies to books. Individuality makes each character easy to follow. Andrew, on the other hand (also called Anthony once, you'll need to edit that) was abruptly inserted a dozen pages in. He just sort of steps into the picture, but aside from a somewhat cliché teen in black, he doesn't have much defining him as different from Craig or Ben. They all seem troubled, but not in any way that really makes them stand out uniquely from one another. Setting I felt the pool, house, and school were natural places for the story to unfold. Kids have imaginary adventures at home, and they spend a lot of time in class. The pool was interesting, and it would have been nice to have a little more on her father when she started seeing him. If taking her to the pool was something he did often for example, it could give the location more significance. Overall it worked for a kid, but I'd suggest keeping in mind the locations are characters as well, and ultimately set the tone for the state of mind of the protagonist. Prose I like your writing style for the most part. It was easy and pleasant to read, and it flows pretty easily from paragraph to paragraph. Unfortunately at times those paragraphs seem to have no real reason to follow one another, but that's another discussion. As for your writing style itself, you do have a good sense for prose and use of language, and the descriptives worked well. I'd just suggest tightening dialogues and internal asides to keep the story on track. It tended to veer off unexpectedly at times. Plot The plot is intriguing... to a point. I wondered if the father was real or not (though more on his demise might have made that a bit more tangible). As I read on, I began to also wonder if some, if not all, of the characters were imaginary. They seemed thin, not possessing real substance to make them feel like a true person. Perhaps this was just a style choice, but I would have liked to see the characters drive the story more. As it stands, they were spinning their wheels often, with their actions not seeming to really drive things for a concrete reason. It may be setting up later conflicts, but at the moment, this first chapter is a bit meandering. I want to see characters who are active, not reactive. A good protagonist needs to drive events, not just react to what happens around them. At the end, I was left wondering where this was all going. Final Thoughts It's got potential, the framework is there, but currently it reads a bit too much like a bunch of vignettes that don't really complete the picture. If you're using events to paint who characters are, then be selective and drive towards a goal with purpose. The ideas are there, but taking a rambling path distracts a reader, at least for me. I love to be drawn in immediately in the first few pages, and the opening talk of demons and a possible mental break was a really intriguing and good start. Then things got muddied and lost momentum when the flashback/back-story kicked in, and didn't seem to recover. If you can keep that pace and integrate the protagonist history in a way that doesn't slow it down, you'll have a more solid piece in my opinion.

  • Laurence Greenholt

    ### The raising of Atlantis In other words, there is a holistic wheel of subjectivities which can be articulated, interchanged, and negotiated around a wheel. This wheel in turn can be used to describe particular social roles, human needs, areas of activity, and to articulate and both connect and distinguish different aspects of social activity and of populations. Multiple wheels of this type can be integrated or differentiated across each other, forming more discrete and specific or more holistically-integrative wheels in various contexts. The technology to fully mash-up all our communication, activist working, group affiliations, and currencies is currently being developed by what I call the Hacker's Guild, specifically by the community which calls itself The MetaCurrency Project. The MetaCurrency Project has named their project Ceptr, but the technology they are creating is nameless. This new form of societication, which I have described in this briefing, is emerging everywhere, and soon it will connect globally and form a publically-available digital multinterface. This consolidation (in truly/fully decentralized technologies and conceptual interfaces) will mark the zenith of late capitalism, and the beginning of the transition proper to a post-capitalism, abundance-based economy. This future economy will be run on trust, affiliation, mutual gifting, and free exit from toxic systems, and it will systematically liberate oppressed political bodies from limitations they want to excommunicate, following the step-by-step logic of destacking obstacles, one-by-one. This remarkable resemblance with ancient pluralistic temple systems implies that Christianity, the dark ages, everything predicted by Christ was some kind of impact, an imposition on the course of some natural human development towards effervescence, something that set human history back 2000 years. It is a great mystery what this is, but it coincides with the standardization of ancient alphabets. Two books to look at related to this impact hypothesis are Saharasia and The Alphabet and the Goddess (as well as writings by /u/zummi on reddit). ### The Coalition of Invisible Colleges The Coalition of Invisible Colleges, or the CIC, is a meta-organization which indexes other meta-organizations. Thus, it is both a meta-organization, and a meta-meta-organization. The CIC and its directory of colleges can be found at coalitionofinvisiblecolleges.org. Each "college" is a discrete community of people which has chosen to be listed in the CIC's directory. In the directory, the guilds system is used to identify resonant parts of separate communities. The purpose of the CIC is to encourage cross-pollination amongst different activist communities, without having to manage these cultural exchanges in any kind of top-down way. Merely listing different communities side-by-side, and gently syncretizing their similar parts, will rhizomatically expose all-to-all (see Deleuze & Guattari), encouraging collaborations and syntheses amongst the different communities. It also provides a very convenient index for a visitor from any one college to access many aspects of many other colleges, so that people can quickly find the communities that fit them best, and so that anyone who enters any invisible college will quickly be able to find the much larger whole of illuminated activism. ### How you can help If you would like to help, please consider adding a listing for your community or organization to the CIC. This will allow more people to find your organization, and access its different functions, resources, and people. To get started, visit http://coalitionofinvisiblecolleges.org/documentation/. The other thing which is most sorely needed right now are skilled programmers to help complete Ceptr. The lack of appropriate decentralized technology is the primary bottleneck holding this entire project back, in my opinion. With the correct technology, we wouldn't have to talk about any of this anymore (this entire paper will be obsolete), because we will be enacting it in lived social relations. Building Ceptr to the point that it can support fully decentralized, peer-to-peer social networking software will be the turning point where we begin to win. So please, if you are a programmer who would like to help (especially a programmer with blockchain/crypto experience), contact me or someone with Ceptr to get started (ceptr.org). Web developers to help with the CIC website would also be greatly appreciated! Most importantly, you can help by following your own passion. The TEAM functions by paying direct attention to the material conditions of the people involved: If I am poor, depressed, and so dispirited that I think I have no choice but to work at a dehumanizing corporate job that funds the plutocracy, how are we gonna have a revolution?! The TEAM grows and becomes strong by inspiring, caring for, and raising to a high level of artistic capacity each individual person who becomes interested in it. What we discovered in the TEAM is that passions are not just individual, they are alchemical. The personal Great Work is also the collective Great Work. Your individual passions, your individual dreams or goals, whatever they are, do not arise in isolation, and they cannot be accomplished in isolation. When multiple people begin talking about their individual passions, they soon discover that there are large overlaps in their projects, and that their language and passions are not so different. This is a very good thing, because it means that there is an entire society of people like us, already out there, waiting for us to bring our unique piece of the puzzle, so that we can, for the first time, see the picture together. Anders J. Aamodt andersaamodt.com January 13, 2017

  • Grace Nicolas

    1. As a Daddy dom, I personally enjoy when my babygirl says things like, "I belong to Daddy, Im his good slut" and "Am i doing good job? I'm a dirty little cumslut for you." But she is less of a brat and more into praise-kink (wants to know how good of a slut she is). In terms of being more of the bratty type as a sub, I am generally okay with her being more demanding so long as she understands that I will tease her till she begs for it even more. Sometimes as a bratty sub, you have to expect that you're going to be punished via spanking, flogging, time-outs, writing lines, etc if you make the dom feel like he/she has lost control. For example, babygirl can sometimes demand that I fuck her throat after she drools a bunch on her ball gag, and if she gets too pushy, I may flog her ass and then gradually work up to her slutty mouth, first letting her suck on a finger, then maybe a toy if she's good and takes her punishment well before satiating her true desire. Dirty talk can center on a variety of things, not just the actions being performed in the scene. You could comment on how good your collar and leash feel, how they make you feel like you are owned by your dom, and how well they treat you as their sub or you can make dirty talk out of your desires, perhaps you want to tell your dom how empty your ass feels, that you really really want it plugged up, especially with his cum. The brat dynamic can sometimes push towards "topping from the bottom", which is why it's important to talk with your partner as just yourselves beforehand, letting him know that when you act out or get demanding and unresponsive to commands, it really just means you want to be punished and have the slut fucked out of all your naughty holes. You should always have open lines of communication, both before, during, and after. Aftercare is a great time to snuggle up, nestle your head into his chest and say how much you loved everything, before talking about ways to improve, things you think you might like in the future, and asking him about how he felt about it too. 2. Again, communicate with your partner. Our general rule is to never try something on the other unless we've done it to ourselves. As a switch, this is rather easy. I would recommend looking up some kink/bdsm checklists and go through them with him to see how you two align in preferences. That "more hardcore" stuff may not be your cup of tea, because it can be difficult to perform S&M on someone you love. It really comes down to unifying those feelings with sexual desires; if you know the sub desires a certain type of kink or action, the dom will have an easier time doing it to them with the full knowledge that he is doing his responsibility to satiate his sub and take care of him/her. What helps me a lot is developing rituals that get me into my dom headspace and rituals that help her relax and let go of control. This can be a couples bubble bath where I wash her and scrub her back for her, a back massage with scented oil, coloring in coloring books with her, watching a Pixar movie, whatever types of activities help you both relax. It can take a lot of mental capacity for the sub to give up all control and enter sub-space with total trust in her dom, and it takes a lot of energy as a dom to take on the incredible responsibility of caring for a sub, ensuring that her needs are met while maintaining control, and giving plenty of aftercare to prevent sub-drop. Also, while spontaneity is sexy, planning is equally sexy....if I know I'm going to be pouring hot wax on her nipple clamps, or that we've agreed on using a particular set up with the cuffs, bars, ropes, etc, I'm gonna need some time to prep the room, so that she can come in and enjoy everything I have prepared. I recommend looking to try things like shibari, penis gags, hog tie, orgasm denial, paddles, crops, floggers, etc. For toys, you really can't go wrong with VixSkin, Lelo, Funfactory, and Tantus. Funfactory's stronic thrusting dildos are fantastic. Some other butt play toys we like are the Rosebud heavy weighted silver plugs and the vixen tristan. I think Aslan Leather is best for all your leather gear needs, with Fleet Ilya being rather pricey (but very good quality). Also, Liberator makes a great line of sex enhancing shapes and furniture called Black Label, which have wrist and ankle cuff attachments in various places for some fun positions. They definitely make positions easier to do, especially for couples with a big height difference (I'm 6' 2" and she is 5' 0"). As for the harder stuff, yeah, you can try chains, suspension from the ceiling, etc, but it's really more about intensity. The "soft stuff" can become hard if you up the intensity of it and that can be aided by excess teasing and build up. 3. Fetlife is probably your best bet. Unfortunately, there's no screening for meet ups to include a baseline attractiveness rating, so you may be disappointed if you're going primarily to look for a third person. It's hit or miss really. There's some secret underground societies in major cities, one being Chemistry Party in NYC, which require both a picture of the couple together, and individual shots to apply. They host parties every few months. Hope this helps, Scooby

  • Nestor Cronin

    >I'll use an example from my gaming experience. I spent a summer in Canada and I got to participate in my first ever larp (laws of the night). I loved it, but when I got back home there just weren't enough people to get a game going. Eventually I moved to a larger city, and I found a LoTN larp there. This is about 15 years later. Absolutely -nothing- had changed. The world changes, and the gaming community changes. But it was the same people in the same environment, hostile towards women and minorities, more concerned with their characters' death toll than having an immersive roleplaying experience. The people were also all around my age. It's taken extensive reach out to attract younger players, and during that reach out I discovered that there is a huge larp world out there that is completely different from what we were experiencing. Inclusive and caring, and using role playing to better themselves in an effort to better the world. The "old guard" gamers I know looked down on them, because they weren't "edgy" or "dark" enough. Because they used safe words and calibration techniques. They are a different generation, and yeah, they play the games differently. If people want to play in troupe games and play the same way they always have, then that's great. I know I play in some troupe games...nothing wrong with it at all! But you don't get to play the same game, the same way, with the same people and expect growth. I'm sorry, but I think it's just the case of having a crap local gaming community. It happens. People played immersively and non-combat centered games decades earlier too. >Using the setting to tell meaningful stories while examining society in an unflinching way, and not tolerating bullshit from the people who are just there to stroke their ego. I know that might sound strange considering all the touchy-feely calibration stuff I just mentioned, but it totally works. That's great and I'm agreeing with that, but for me WoD was always about that too. There would always been jerks everywhere. >You can have trigger warnings and still tell stories that contain hard-core adult themes. Glorifying violence, hatred, and all other sorts of unpleasantness like rape and murder isn't tolerated, and that doesn't make the game "soft" at all. In many ways, recognizing the horrific nature of those things and really taking a hard look at it takes a much tougher player than someone who uses not one but TWO swords and bathes in the blood of their enemies, muah ha ha! I get the whole "violence and combat is bad" thing, but you know what? A lot of us likes different styles of games. Some likes a very deep-feeling-angst centered game with a focus on horrific experiences. Some like a little more light-hearted dark urban fantasy approach sometimes. I myself like both, depending on my mood and I think the game had and should have in the future space for both. Besides, It's a little bit strange to picture, for example werewolf without the (yes, even a bit glorified) abundance of violence. I get that some people don't like combat, because they feel it shallow, but neither everybody wants to ponder in every session on the horror of feeding as a rape metaphor. >Ain't nobody gonna sell books that are just the same old thing over and over again. 4th edition DnD may have stunk up the room, but it was something -new-. I think that's part of what hurt 1st edition Chronicles stuff. Requiem was kind of interesting, but too much of it was the same as Masquerade for me to go out and buy a new book. TWO new books, in fact. D&D 5e. All the 20th editions. Noticed how much more 20th edition books Onyx Path makes in contrast to the CofD ones? Or how BNS picked up the old WoD setting? Or WWP themselves? It's not about the same old always again, there's and should be room for advancing story and polishing/revising rules, even bringing in new concepts, but if anything D&D 4e and NWoD teached us was that the fans like the game and the setting for a reason and throwing out the window a large part of that is generally not a good idea, because you'd end up with a different game and this way you'll get alienated fans and splitting fanbase. That's why thousands of people played CWoD instead of NWoD even when the former was "dead". That's why D&D 5e is a huge success, because unlike 4e, it feels like D&D. They even reconned most of the changes in their flagship setting. >Now 2nd edition? Onxy Path is KILLING it with their 2nd edition stuff, and I hope they make a shit ton of money with it. I also hope they show the larp crowd a little love, because we're over here hacking a great tabletop system. It's working okay, but I'd love to see actual live-action rules. The crew at BNS are doing a great job with their stuff, and I'm really looking forward to Changeling. My money is on them doing that one next. I agree that the 2es are a lot better. Still I'd bet my house that a lot more people plays WoD even in tabletop worldwide than CofD. Again, just look at the releases of OP.

  • Lloyd Reilly

    Well, MSGRiley, I don't know if you subscribe to the Bradford Journal & Opinion or not but if you do you might wanna check yer mail ‘cause Willis Gym made the paper this week. There’s a nice little write-up on page 5 with photos and everything. Now, they say the camera puts a few pounds on ya but I gotta tell you I think this ole boy is looking pretty good for 46. And hey, that makes yet another thing you're wrong about. Or is that two more things? I won't bother to congratulate you for the weight you say you lost as it is perfectly clear to me you are just going to gain it right back. You have done nothing to change your unhealthy lifestyle and are still shoveling in the same crap. Who cares if you’ve reduced the frequency? Every pizza crust keeps you addicted to glucose. Your claim to have improved your diet is as baseless as if you were to state that you have quit smoking and are only allowing yourself the occasional cigarette. You would be back up to a pack a day before ya knew it and most likely you will be a fat-ass again in no time. “Everything in moderation” is yet another marketing slogan invented by the folks who make bonbons and Big Macs. You repeat this nonsense as though it were clinically proven because your mind is weak and you cannot fathom a life away from suckling the glucose tit. If you want to be healthy you get clean and you stay clean and you don't play stupid little games with yourself. I’m really starting to wonder about you, MSGRiley. I certainly hope that no one relies on you for information. You see, you are actually the troll, MSGRiley. Anyone reading this can tell that you do not know your ass from a hole in the ground about any of these subjects on which you hold forth as though an expert. You can’t possibly think it’s lost on me that your nonsense about scrape marks on bone came from a 10 second scroll over to The Inbred Rancher’s Paleo Cookbook. I have spent a lifetime of study learning what I know and yet I see time and again folks like you who’ve never even had a library card come along and dismiss the knowledge that comes from reading 30 books a year since the age of 8 with a body of knowledge that comes entirely from their inebriated and out-of-focus observations on the status quo. It would be one thing if all you did was make a lot of noise from underneath your rock. The problem is that uneducated, unintelligent and misinformed folks like you vote. You cast your ballot not knowing and not caring that the head of the American Corn Refiners Association is a lawyer and a lobbyist with 30 years experience screwing the American taxpayer out of his money and his health for the benefit of a handful of fat, greedy, already rich assholes. “Beef, it's what's for dinner” is not science. It's a marketing campaign full of lies and deception that's been illegally forced on the American people and half the rest of the world. Saturated fat kills. You shouldn't be allowed to serve it to anyone much less make laws that virtually require it to be fed to children in schools. The calcium in cow’s milk is not bioavailable to growing human bones. Homo sapiens shuts off the gene for digesting their mother's milk at 3 years of age. What the hell kind of science can you produce that makes it look like a good idea to drink gallons of the stuff from another species? Got milk? Got diarrhea. All of these industries are funded by taxpayer dollars and would collapse immediately without the subsidies and yet they continue to grow and spread their poison across the globe because simpletons like you elect their CEOs to Congress. Now, if you did get a chance to read the article in the Bradford Journal & Opinion I'm sure that even with your limited ability to recognize well written English you were able to discern quite readily that the women who train at Willis Gym adore me. They do not come to me to be coddled, however, they come to me for discipline. I rule Willis Gym with an iron fist. I do not tolerate dissent and I demand compliance with my every rule. As it should be! It does not surprise me that you find my tone a little harsh and it does not surprise me that you are taken aback at my coarse turn of phrase. These educated and professional clients of mine are not. They know that's what a leader sounds like! Take a good look at my picture in the paper, MSGRiley. That's what a leader looks like! I do wish to reiterate that you are in fact completely meaningless in this whole endeavor. You fulfill your role of buffoon admirably but you should know that your ignorant and impotent rebuttals merely provide me the platform I seek. If not you then the next copy of a copy of a copy…. To the readers. To my loyal fans. If you truly want to do something about your poor health do not turn to the likes of MSGRiley for he knows nothing. He is a meat-eating, blowhard Western male Homo Sapiens and as such he knows nothing about the human body. He knows even less about the world around him. He is as clueless as he is opinionated and of no use to anyone. Question everything he and individuals like him say or do. Look elsewhere for answers to your health and fitness needs. If all else fails feel free to drop me a line at Willis Gym and I'll set you straight. LIft Weights & Eat Yer Veggies!

  • Lila Crona

    Gotcha. This is going to be long, so sorry in advance. First, that chick sounds like trouble from the get-go. Generally, those who say crap like, "I always attract weirdos" and the same crazy ones who say they hate drama yet immerse themselves in it and have that dumb Marilyn Monroe quote about "accepting them at their worst" as their mantra. You don't need that. I say work on eye contact for sure. Confidence or the lack thereof is easily determined by eye contact and sheepish body language. Honestly, you should work on your self-esteem. Learn to be proud of yourself. That might take some therapy or coaching, if you really struggle. You've been the social oddball for so long that you limit yourself to being only that. Accept that you're an introvert, own it, be proud of it, and then tweak things about your introvertedness that suit your social goals. As far as conversation goes, there are certain types of people that are excruciating to talk to (and get talked over often)-- types like my sister who go into the most irrelevant details when telling stories, thus making a basic interesting story into a long, boring one; types that tell stories that nobody cares about (price of milk in China, childhood dog, etc.); types that are incredibly sheepish/awkward when speaking so when they tell stories you are hoping they end soon because then you won't have the social stress of feeling sorry for them. These are all generalizations, but you get the picture. The bright side is that most sucky conversation issues can be worked on. For me personally (and for my somewhat socially awkward husband), I have found that having a game plan before going to social events helps. I think of who will be there, what they do, and what their general interests might be. I make sure that I am ready to talk with them about those topics and ready to talk about myself in a brief and interesting way for the listener. It's hard because a lot of this comes naturally, but I assure you, the basics can be learned such that you can get past the stage you're at. When conversing, be genuinely interested in who your talking to. Nobody is above you or beneath you and everyone has something they can teach you. Don't be braggy and don't cut yourself down (unless you become really good at self-effacing humor, then it's okay). Think of conversation as a tennis match. They ask a question (balls in your court) and you answer. If your answer does not prompt the conversation forward, then you completely whiffed it. If you whiff it (or say something stupid), it's okay. We all mess up. Don't beat yourself up. And stop caring about what people might say about you being awkward behind closed doors. As long as you are a good, kind person and aren't completely screwing up socially (calling people fat, getting people fired, etc.), then they and their comments can suck it. We are all works in progress. As far as attracting people physically-- work out, clean up, figure out what clothes, facial hair, and hairstyles best suit your body/face. Work with what you have. Believe me, I have seen some awkward, ugly boys end up in what are seemingly happy relationships, so it can be done. Join social groups, and maybe start off with ones that naturally attract nerdy types so you're more comfortable. Astronomy clubs or something like that. Take up a new hobby. Go to church, if you are inclined to do so. If you have a trusted friend or family member, ask them to help you to develop your social skills. Last, read books on the topic. How to Win Friends and Influence People. The Art of Not Giving a F**k. Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self. And so on. As with my lengthy post, take the advice from the books that you think will work and dump the rest. I am obviously not an expert, but I hope this helps or at least encourages you some. You don't have to be confined to the "awkward 30-something" persona. You still have like 55+ years left to live-- plenty of time to find yourself and fulfilling relationships. Good luck!

  • Candida Brown

    Oh my goodness, you are so welcome!! As I woke up this morning I started to look again for some of those things that I had mentioned. I have to convey and an enormous amount of gratitude to you. I'm caring for my mom and it turns out I apparently have quite a lot of unresolved anger in my relationship with her. It upsets me so much and it makes me feel horribly guilty and I don't do as well because of it. It never occurred to me to do these things to try to help me get through this anger. I thank you so very much for writing!! ~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~ As for the diary, I remember telling my counselor that they should teach these things to everybody and that they could reduce so much harm and difficulty in life, there are such strong emotions and so little that we normally learn in life about how to deal with them. I was just looking through some places on the Internet and I found a couple of things to show you. They are not exact but the first one looked good and the second one had a lot more to offer but didn't talk about being disappointed with yourself. Some ideas that may help: https://www.get.gg/docs/ThoughtRecordSheetAnger.pdf ~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~ This site has more information and techniques, but doesn't address being angry with yourself: https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/anger.htm ~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~ ~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~ I see what you mean about the coloring books. I didn't want to get one of those because I wanted to draw my own shapes. ~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~ ~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~ This is how I did my bottles, and I just sent a couple to my boyfriend, I hope they help him too. These are my recipes but I estimated for you because I had different measurements based on the type of glitter container that I had. I would put in the other ingredients and then add some of the water so I could adjust if desired. I tried to get a good picture but it didn't come out so nice. I watched about a million videos on YouTube, and just decided to simplify it and make my own recipe. I like them. I purchased the glitter glue from the Dollar Tree. Based on what they have in stock you can also get glitter there, and clear glue (I got my clear glue elsewhere). I don't know if they have a water bottle. I found a water bottle that the label was easy to remove, Zephyrhills or something or whatever I don't remember. It obviously has to seal well. I asked my boyfriend about his favorite colors and he said teal and turquoise were great and a lot of other colors were great, and then he said gold is mesmerizing. So then I knew which ones to make for him. (It's so much fun to pump information from him, he has no clue :) ) I also made three for myself, the teal one, a hot pink one, and a multicolor glitter one that had no food color in the water (I wanted to enjoy all the different colors together.) ~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~ TEAL TURQUOISE Empty water bottle (~= 16 ozs.) 2/3 bottle of blue glitter glue (1/4 cup?) 2/3 bottle of green glitter glue (1/4 cup?) 1/4 cup of clear glue 8 drops blue food color 2 drops green food color 1 teaspoon turquoise glitter 1/2 teaspoon blue glitter 1/2 teaspoon silver glitter Water to almost fill ~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~ ~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~ YELLOW GOLD Empty water bottle (~= 16 ozs.) 8 drops yellow liquid food color 1 1/2 bottles of silver glitter glue 1/4 cup of clear "school" glue 1-2 teaspoons? gold glitter Water almost to top ~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~

  • Jacinto Rogahn

    do you have any sort of hobby or something that you're really into? that would be difficult to describe or introduce to an outsider? something with its own culture and history that has evolved over a long period of time, changing all the time? art is, essentially, like that. so, I write about all kinds of art during the week, but my real speciality is photography. when you start doing photography, especially if you're not coming at it from a formal or art PoV, you can obsess over the tech, or getting really good bokeh, or fucking around with split toning to make weird looking pictures. I wound up getting *super* into it, going to lots of museums, reading about it, trying different photographic mediums, teaching myself darkroom techniques, etc. I wound up going to art school (kinda) for it, and through an internship fell in love with photo books. as this all progressed, and I got more into the art value of photography, i started caring less and less about bokeh or shallow depth of field or other markers of what I thought was *real* photography. and as i got into the history of photography, my tastes honed, and i found myself getting less interested in the kind of realist Ansel Adams school of photography. like, maybe you love /r/earthporn/ , right? well, most of the pictures that get posted don't really interest me. they may not even be bad pictures, per se, but I've essentially seen that picture a million times by now. and Ansel Adams did it better, anyway. is there something like that in a hobby or subculture you're into? like, are you really into DIY punk but you've gotten tired of the softboy pop-punk bands full of scrawny liberal arts dudes, because they all sound and look the same while writing about breakups and indie girls? so that's where this kind of art comes from. it means a lot more when you look about or talk about art a lot. because once you start seeing overarching patterns, trends, and clichés, they get a little boring. *different* or evolution or art pieces speaking to other art pieces or things going on in the world gets more interesting. Agnes Martin, I guess, could trace a path back to actionism or abstract expressionism or maybe even pop art. it seems pretty radical if you think of the paintings as responses to the loud, brash, and often slick paintings made in those machismo-soaked modes. (I mean, minimalism has its whole own history if you want to get into it. I don't have a formal art history education so I don't want to speak too much on painting.) now, this isn't to say that art for art's sake (or, as I often find myself worrying about, photography for photographers) is the end-all, be-all of art. it's not. a medium can't survive and be healthy if it's too insular (one of the reasons i like photography is that even art photographers or conceptual artists who use photography usually engage with its vernacular usage, so there's often a practical link even in like stephen shore's or jeff wall's work. maybe not jeff wall. idk I'd need to think about it. but, Broomberg and Chanarin are one of my favorite artist duos, and they work a lot with photography, but they make very politically motivated art and work a lot with news photography and the like, making it very accessible to people not deeply immersed in appropriation or photography or conceptual art). But evolution of a medium still requires this kind of dialog to function. because otherwise we'd all just be making the same work. if photography hadn't come and shaken things up back in the 19th century, painting might still be dominated by realism. and, shit, that'd be really fucking boring and limited, no? so it's not like anyone is trying to exclude you or other non-artists from art. it's just that, when you're immersed in a medium or art in general, stagnation is boring. so people keep pushing the edge. and sometimes the edge gets pushed to a sisyphean robot, or muted gradients and lines of color on big canvases. but, like, there's *reasons*. it's not just a middle finger or a cash grab. it's millions of people constantly trying to make something *new*.

  • Eldred Mayert

    >I have animal instincts of self-preservation - i.e. I need to eat and keep warm, I have children to support that I love etc but on the flip side I have needs like chilling out or blowing off steam. Right, but by framing your mentality in a rough picture of needs you ignore the fineness of the underlying causes of those needs and habits. I understand keeping warm and caring for your kids, but chilling, blowing off steam, and "eating" are the concepts I think you should challenge. I chill, eat, and blow off steam, but I know that these things are wrong. Firstly, we don't really eat because we have to. If you're not starving, and have excess, you eat because you want to. We could easily survive and thrive on a single meal, but it is not something we're used to. In fact, it is actually healthy to fast in this manner (I have a study to quote) for adults. Chilling is another behavioural lie that we chain ourselves to because we gather stress in our day-to-day life and need to release it. In the same way that people release anger, which is completely counter-productive. The proper response is sleep/meditation/mental restoration (these things are not usually described by chilling, please don't tell me this is what you meant). And blowing off steam I have already covered. It is counter-productive and actually encourages angry behaviour, it does not root it out (I have a study to quote). So where am I going with this? My point is that these behaviours DO NOT respect death at all. To respect death, you cultivate a stable mentality, focus on long-term behaviours, and so on. The great thing about coming hand to hand with death is that these nuances that disrespect death are revealed in a very anal way, where even your minutest actions are called into question. This is why I don't believe you when you say you shook hands and went to the exit. I believe that it's an outright lie, or you are misconstruing the depths of what you mean. I also see some kind of mis-congruence between your paragraphs that don't really come back to a central idea. These are just my hunches. I am interested in truth, and I know my words aren't offensive, so please do not feel like they are because that's not my intention. >Going 100% to "live every moment" would lead to mega stress and burnout. Plus how would I fund anything or eat etc? What about my children, they factor in my thinking? One of my biggest fears is dying before they are set up in their lives. You don't have to be an extremist in order to be honest with yourself. But those are fears that you have to break through. You can't allow it to be an excuse yet you don't need to go to extreme distances to prove it to others. I have noticed that they come back, however, even after facing them. And no, you don't burn out. >I accept it as a part of life - as much as my birth. I have my period of time, my pages in the book of time, and that's fine. Of course I'm scared of it - but some of that is down to baked in evolutionary heritage and some to do with a rational desire to want to see more and do more. This isn't honest thinking. You're ignoring the depths of your existence. >What would not accepting it achieve? Nothing but give me stress unless I managed to delude myself into believing in bronze age myths and nonsense magic books. I agree, I don't recommend listening to those things. Yet I condemn allowing yourself to accept that day-to-day life is all that there is. Yes, I condemn your thinking. We need to look for more because we're not idiots, and you can definitely think more critically.

  • Ansel DuBuque

    Of course there are people who are concerned. If you think it is all a circlejerk then you should start paying more attention because your inability to realize that there are serious issues doesn't mean they do not exist. I am not surprised really that most people do not notice them - sometimes even willingly. Most people do not pay attention to history to see the patterns and the previous actions of the involved parties - especially when they are too young to realize that things happened before they were teenagers. And when they do, often it is simpler and easier to just ignore things. After all for all the issues UWP has, it can be more convenient for some. And the less knowledgeable users wont really notice any difference - facebook works, youtube works, office works, solitaire is there, it has some ads these days but everything has ads, even your mobile phone and Windows looks like a mobilephone now and still everything is fine, the work is done, we can have some fun playing Candy Crush so where is the problem really? Few people notice any problems, fewer care and things continue as normal. Someone has concerns? Eh, they're just mistaken, in my experience everything is fine, they're just misinformed. Bah, whatever, everything is fine, everything works better than before, we have free videos, free music, free programs, free Windows, free mobile phones and some even have free internet. Soon we'll even have free laptops too - they'll be of low quality but who cares. Everything is free these days anyway, everyone loves convenience and free stuff. Who cares if this stuff contains GPS trackers, who cares that the OS is sending encrypted information all the time, who cares that programs are locked to the computer they run, who cares that their mobile phones and laptops can be turned on without the users knowing, who cares that their ebook reader can alter the contents of the books they read at any point and even delete books remotely, who cares that the modern trend for applications is to have them hosted in a remote server that give total control to the developer, who cares that all commercial operating systems promote cloud services that store their users' data instead of storing them locally, who cares that as time goes on users have less and less control over their own computers, who cares that more and more hardware comes with software that reports back to their manufacturer, who cares that modern desktop CPUs contain encrypted microcode that can be abused for taking control of the computer, who cares that the companies that give out free stuff have data centers big enough to hold ten times the information possible for every single person on earth, who cares that modern AI algorithms need only a couple of anonymized data points to target an individual, who cares about people whose jobs are to continuously spread misinformation online and make sure that others are not to be taken seriously, who cares about any of the above? I mean, most people dont even know any of the above and of those who do, most don't care and dismiss it as unimportant and unrelated, possibly breaking down each one of them, trying to find flaws, small errors, mistakes and engage in nitpicking in an attempt to ignore the big picture while focusing on insignificant details. After all that is more convenient and convenience is all that matters. It isn't like we're living in some cyberpunk dystopia after all, the world is still functioning fine. What is the point of caring about any issues that may happen if things work fine now? Let's wait for things to go to hell first and we'll see what we can do then. That is much easier.

  • Domenica Baumbach

    Don't give up. Don't let him give up. If you love the man he is, at the core, fight for it. Suicide or death in general can mess with someone "I care" functions as a human. "If my friend didn't care, then why should I?" That's a real thought. Did his friend have a wife and children? If he did and still killed himself, then that will affect your husband's mindset. Counseling is in order. Also, if you leave now, what does he have to live for? Don't guilt yourself into staying, but remember that sometimes people fall into the "self-fulfilling prophecy: They'll leave me, so I'm going to push them away. See...they left me. Again: counseling. Make him remember why he loves you and your children. Make him remember that life is worth caring about, especially now that the family is expanding. Which leads me to: You want security and he wants artistic freedom. Every woman needs to know their babies will be fed. That's what being a parent is basically about. He needs to be reminded of that. Do not feel TOO bad about not supporting his music; you are being practical. So, compromise: he gets a "day job" until he books gigs and make more than beer money or he lays down an album and he gets picked up for a contract or figures out how to market himself as an independent artist on streaming sites. Support that side of him, but he needs to understand that obligations are his, too. Lastly, some practical reasons for staying together--if you can and he is willing--from someone who is on the other side: You have children, plural, that need a mother and father in their lives. If you divorce, you can both still be a part of their lives, but life gets way more complicated if you do. To wit: You think you're poor now? Wait until you have to buy two of everything because you don't want to keep passing things like carseats between houses. Don't forget about having half the income to do so, btw. Or you run out of pants because they all wound up at the other house. Homework? You'd have to talk to him on a daily basis anyway to make sure it's all done on time. That's something most people don't understand: co-parenting across houses adds many complications on a daily basis. Added to the income issues, many children's opportunity levels for education, after-school activities, etc. decrease dramatically. And... Since it's the season: Christmas (or your chosen holiday) will be the custody discussion each year: who gets them that day? And shouldn't they get presents from each of you? And how is being worse than poor working out for that situation? Then there are the questions: "How does Santa know which house we're at? Why does he drop presents at our house on Dec 24th?" And other equally difficult questions to answer, such as: "Why can't we be a family?" (That one from my 4-y-o at the time) "When are you and mom getting back together?" My 6-y-o...I'm remarried and he loves his stepmom. Awkward. I'm sorry to lay it out in several practical, as well as emotional ways, but no one ever explained it all to me before I got divorced. I wanted you to have the whole picture on something this important. I do not regret divorce because we kept it civil for the kids. And I remarried to someone better for me. But that took a long time to get to a good place. So, make sure you give it every shot before you call it quits.

  • Shaina Gleichner

    Some people aren't birthday people. I'm not. I think having birthday celebrations are nice, but I don't look forward to or plan my own birthday celebrations. I do my best to help out with others' celebrations, but mostly only with friends who I haven't had for very long. We don't really do much relating to birthdays in my family, and all of my best, longest friends might have a small get-together at most, if only to go through the motions. > What's shittier than it being your birthday and not one person you care about remembers? Personally, I can think of a lot of things. I'm not trying to tell you that caring about birthdays is wrong, but just trying to illustrate how *little* some people care about them. You wonder if he ever cared for you at all because he doesn't know what your birthday is, but plenty of people would scoff at that and say that for them, the question of whether they care for someone has nothing to do with whether they know what their birthday is, because that's just not something that they really feel is important or central to the way that they care for that person. Personally, it was a big eye opener when I learned how much I offended my second girlfriend by admitting I didn't know when her birthday was, because I had no idea people were actually offended by that outside of the movies and books. Up to that point, I had never really even considered that I was anything other than a totally understandable oversight to forget when someone's birthday is. I didn't care, my family didn't care, my male friends didn't care if you forgot their birthday, and it was impossible to forget a female friend's birthday because inevitably one of her own female friends would always planning some sort of event for it ahead of time. My girlfriend at the time got really, really angry with me, but I honestly had no concept of it being a big deal at all up until the point that she got angry. I knew that she liked to celebrate her birthday, and she told me as much, but all I focused on was that it was in February and that I could look the exact date up on Facebook every year when it got near. Eventually I was put on the spot by someone and couldn't recite her birthday off the top of her head, and she heard about it and got upset, saying (like you) that she wasn't sure if I even cared about her at all. Of course, I was completely oblivious that this was a no-no. The point is, neither of these perspectives is wrong, but there is huge disconnect here that is problematic and needs to be communicated. From my perspective, it sounds like your boyfriend doesn't understand how much you are offended that he doesn't know when you birthday is. Tell him how upset you are. He probably won't do it again. You might still be too angry to take him out to his fancy birthday party, that's totally okay. Cancel it and wait until you're happier with him. But don't assume that he just doesn't care about you - that'd be pretty unfair if he didn't have a clear picture of just how important this was to you, keeping in mind that it's possible that his perspective on birthdays might be so different from yours that you might need to spell it out explicitly what you like to have done for your birthday.

  • Greyson Hermann

    Hey there. The fact that you are worried about being a good mother, already says tons. Have you been to therapy to deal with your upbringing? The fact that you left your niece when you were 16 - that's just cruel. Not of you, but of those people who put you in that position. You need to understand that you were just as much of a victim of your drug addicted sil and your brother, as your niece was. This is not what a loving family does. Loving, functional family are there for each other. They work on themselves, they learn from their mistakes and they bring love, and they do their best to make people around them feel loved, and raise them into loving, loved individuals. They help each other. They care about each other. I am certain you are such person, who grew up in shitty circumstances and now the circumstances are coming back to bite you in the ass, just as you thought you dealt with, amiright? I never doubted that I wanted to have kids, but now that my oldest is 8 I find myself in a jar full of pickles. You see, my mother is possibly BPD and I grew up with a very dysfunctional family, where physical, verbal and mental abuse was the way of being. Now that my oldest is becoming her own person and my life is that of a SAHM I find it overwhelming to be the housewife and taking care of endless chores day after day after day. I found myself in fits of rage over the littlest thing. I yell, I belittle, I criticize. I cry over being so helpless. And then I realize that I am turning into my mother. So much hurt was bestowed upon me as a child and recent events showed me that my mother is still verbally abusive, she still yells, still belittle me and my choices, the 99% of things that come out of her mouth are criticism. So I went LC and sometimes NC with her and I started therapy. Gee, just after one session I calmed down tons. I yelled maybe a total of three times in the last months, compared to multiple times daily. I haven't raged - because apparently rage is a rainbow of feelings - from disappointment to sadness, which to me was all the same - just rage from 0 to 100 in a matter of a second. Because that's how my mother was and still is. And I am stopping the cycle. I know that I am a loving, caring individual, and I am working out my emotional muscles. At first I read bunch of books, like "How to talk so kids would listen and listen so kids would talk", "Screamfree parenting", but it's wasn't enough. While those books gave me good picture into what loving parenting that would lead to healthy relationship with my children when they grow up, I still couldn't not rage. Being in therapy is helping me become the person I know I am, depsite being told otherwise my whole childhood and teenage years.

  • Delilah Cronin

    I really like oral histories and interviews. My favorite books on the whole band are: **No Simple Highway - by Peter Richardson **- This is a phenomenal book, and it may very well be my favorite overall. It's a wonderfully done oral history of the band. For each chapter, the author picks out specific important moments in the bands history. The chapter will then tell the story of those moments, while also telling the story of what happened in between the previous event and the current one. **Garcia - A Signpost To New Space **- Just finished re-reading this and I remembered why I love it so much. The book consists of transcripts of two interviews with Jerry in 1972 and 1973. The first interview was done by Rolling Stone Founder Jann Wenner and Yale law professor Charles Reich. It was done for Rolling Stone magazine cover story. The second interview is Garcia, Reich and Mountain Girl at their home in 1973. The first interview is great, and in depth, but it's the second one I love most. After they did the first interview in 72 Reich returned to visit Garcia and Mountain Girl at home. They all smoked a joint and then Charles decided to record the conversation. What follows is a fascinating insight into Jerry's personality. It's obvious he never met a question he didn't have an answer for! But you also get to see a soft and caring side as Reich gets a little paranoid and Jerry is very kind to him. The interview is wide ranging and is about what you'd expect it would be like to get high and talk for hours with Jerry in 1973. They talk about subjects that I've never seen Jerry talk about again, and a lot of personal talk about life, their views on it, etc. I couldn't recommend this more. **This Is All A Dream We Dreamed - Blair Jackson, David Gans ** This is an amazing book, just released last year, written by the two foremost historians of the Grateful Dead. It's an oral history, so again it's the people who lived it telling you the story and it's amazingly done. It's full of interviews and quotes I've never seen anywhere else and I think it paints a very honest picture of the band. **A Long Strange Trip by Dennis McNally** This is the "official" history of the bands publicist Dennis McNally. Dennis had unprecedented access to the Dead & their entourage and he gets a lot of great stories, quotes and insight not found anywhere else. It's a very in depth, long book, yet it's written in a way that makes you not want to put it down.

  • Chet Stanton

    It's been a long time since Harry died, 12 years and 3 months to be exact. The car accident took him at the age of 45. When I found out I had cancer I accepted it. I knew that at the age of 50 I had lived a full life. Harry and I had never had children, we didn't want them. My family was gone, either dead or moved away. What did I have to live for anymore? I chose not to follow through with the chemo or radiation, and the doctors gave me 6 months to a year. Something strange happened when they gave me my diagnosis though, they also told me about a new theory, one that I didn't quite believe. Apparently, when you die, you find yourself next to the person that you loved the most in your life. Now, obviously, I didn't believe that for a second. I had never been a religious person, you die and you rot in the ground, the memory of you living on. I could hope though right? Harry and I had a wonderful life together. Moonlit walks, adopting all the animals we could, owning a farm and growing our own food, we had reached all our dreams in life. We were two people who loved each other with a passion I didn't know was possible. Maybe, just maybe, I would get to see him again. As time wore on and I became sicker, my thoughts were of him. Of the time we adopted our first dog together, the times we danced in the front room with the light from the picture window dancing on the floor with us, and the moments where it was quiet and we sat there reading books together. I had loved that man so much my heart could have burst with it. My thoughts were also of my family, my single mother who raised me through the best and worst of times. My hero, a woman who never gave up no matter how difficult life was. Who made sure I had everything I want. My cousin, who I raised and who grew up to be the most caring, thoughtful person I knew. The night that I died was a tumultuous and painful one. My lungs gave out, my heart stopped, and I was absolutely terrified. I just held on to this hope of seeing Harry. When I opened my eyes, I took in what was around me. Apparently there was an afterlife, who knew. And then hope grew, maybe he would be here. I looked to my right, there was no one next to me. I looked to my left and jumped back, unbelieving in what I was seeing. My dear Harry was next to me, but there was something else too. Well, many things. Behind him were the dozens of dogs I had adopted through the years running and barking at each other. I was going to be spending my after life with the man I had loved so much in life and all those dogs we raised instead of having children.

  • Priscilla Bartoletti

    Hmmm. While it is, of course, possible, I'm not entirely convinced. When I read the descriptions of Moriarty through the books (of course, we won't get a perfect picture of someone if we hear it through his/her enemy), I don't see things that remind me of an INTJ. After all, just being able to plan stuff doesn't make someone an INTJ. > At the age of twenty-one he wrote a treatise upon the binomial theorem which has had a European vogue. On the strength of it, he won the mathematical chair at one of our smaller universities, and had, to all appearances, a most brilliant career before him. I think Moriarty may have a high Ti and an Fe somewhere. If he's a dominant Ti, he'd be an INTP or ISTP. > But so aloof is he from general suspicion, so immune from criticism, so admirable in his management and self-effacement, that for those very words that you have uttered he could hale you to a court and emerge with your year's pension as a solatium for his wounded character. That, to me, suggests Fe, for two reasons: the positive (Fe is good at making other people like them/trust them) and the negative (Moriarty seems to lack the 'paladin' Fi - those who have Fi turned to evil are not like the way he is described). If Moriarty is an ISTP, then you'd see a leading Ti (Does this make logical, rational sense) with an auxiliary Se (experience the world through your senses/express yourself through deeds rather than words), tertiary Ni (Seeing patterns, drawing conclusions through intuition, flashes of insight), and inferior Fe (doesn't want to admit to caring what other people think - if well-developed, outer charisma). Other possibilities include the INFJ (Ni Fe Ti Se), the ESTP (Se Ti Fe Ni), and the ENFJ (Fe Ni Se Ti)... but... Ok. This is my guess for Moriarty. INFJ. The *other* dominant Ni. INTJ and INFJ both start with Ni, drawing conclusions and moments of insight, fueled by Se, sensory data and enjoyment of sensory experiences. But while INTJ's middle functions are the contingency-planning Te and internal paladin Fi, INFJ's are the people-pleasing Fe and rational judger Ti. I'd have to think twice and three times about this, but my own Ni says, "I think if I were to choose a potential INTJ in the Sherlock Holmes universe, it would be Irene Adler, The Woman". What do you think?

  • Jerrell Johnson

    Comparing the last three films is appropriate because these specifically wanted to ape Marvel Studio's ridiculously successful model. Except they completely fucked up the management. They made the mistake of handing creative control of the DCEU to an artsy director like Zack Snyder. The reason Marvel Studios has done so well is that the films are all controlled by CEO Kevin Feige. He runs the productions like a general runs an army. His word is law and he always puts the Big Picture ahead of whatever personal ideas a director might have. Thanks to this, the MCU movies have a very consistent tone and logic, and the story arc is progressing nicely towards Infinity War. The movies have a samey-ness to them but that's a small price to pay. By contrast, the DCEU movies are a fucking mess. The kind of superhero stories that Warner Bros wants tend to be very heavy on plot and character development whereas Snyder is about visual style. But Snyder doesn't know how to plot an extended story arc the way Marvel does. That's why *Batman v Superman* feels like a hodge-podge of ideas poorly-strung together (eg references to *The Dark Knight Returns*, *The Death of Superman*, and *Kingdom Come* that looked good in the trailer but don't fit the story's context), with a few shoehorned cameos by other characters that WB wants to adapt later on (the Quicktime movies that WW watches on her laptop). He strung together lots of components that must have sounded cool during the brainstorming, without caring if the parts added up to a greater whole. Marvel Studios is a division of Marvel Entertainment itself. That means the people making the Marvel movies are also the same ones who write the comic books. That's so perfect! Marvel brought its extensive experience with planning comic book story arcs to their movie department. They don't display the fanboy-pandering that DC shows; they're very confident with their ability to write Marvel stories because they've been doing this for five decades. By contrast, DC Comics does not have its own movie division. Warner Bros is making the films and while I am sure they hired some DC writers and artists to give creative advice, they didn't hire any DC execs and editors to run the show.

  • Marcelle Stoltenberg

    Two "Go To" Books, Barney & Baby Bop go to the Grocery Store, & To the Pet Store ... http://hubpages.com/literature/Reading-Barney-Books-to-Children-A-Great-way-to-Grow-a-Childs-Imagination I am not as good of a reader as I once was back in the 1990s when my children were small, but I am glad I kept all their old childhood books to share today, what wonderful memories each one has inside it covers ... Barney & Baby Bop Go to the Grocery Store, It is fun Reading With Barney, Young children enjoy going to the grocery store. Grocery shopping is typically a routine part of their lives. This fun, rhyming story depicts the activities associated with shopping at a grocery store. Children will delight in helping Baby Bop find all the items on Barney's list. Written by Donna Cooner, Ed.D. and Photograhy by Dennis Full. 1997 The Lyons group, Barney Publishing, Allen Texas, Printed by ColorDynamics, Children Books, Picture Books, Preschool fun ... A child's trip to the grocery story will never be the same after going with Barney and Baby Bop. From now on, it will be adventure in the aisles of learning. Full-color photos. Barney Goes to the Pet Shop, Reading Fun with Barney, Young children are fascinated by animals, and owning a pet is a good way to learn about them - the life cycle, the responsibility for caring for an animal, and the companionship of a pet. Baby Bop's trip to the peat shop with Barney and BJ provides a fun guessing game for young children. it also introduces the young reader to a variety of familiar and unfamiliar animals that make good pets. The introduction of each animal can spark discussion about the characteristics and specifies needs of that pet. "Miss Patty's Pet Shop" may be the perfect place for discovering which pet is right for your family. Written by Mark S. Bernthal, and photographed by Dennis Full. Barney Publishing, and Lyrick Publishing the year 2000. Printed at ColorDynamics, in Allen Texas ... Children Book, Picture Book, preschool I created this video with the YouTube Video Editor (http://www.youtube.com/editor)

  • Vaughn Spinka

    Two Barney Learning Books, Barney's Alphabet Fun, & Baby Bop's ABC Book ... http://hubpages.com/literature/Reading-Barney-Books-to-Children-A-Great-way-to-Grow-a-Childs-Imagination I am not as good of a reader as I once was back in the 1990s when my children were small, but I am glad I kept all their old childhood books to share today, what wonderful memories each one has inside it covers ... Reading with Barney, Barney's Alphabet Fun! It is a great ABC adventure with Barney. Come along on a Super-Doe-Duper trip around the farm as children learn the letters of the alphabet in an exciting and memorable way. This awesome ABC book was published in 1998 by the Lyons Partnership. It is written by Guy Davis and has excellent photography by Dennis Full. Children Book, Picture Book, preschool fun, alphabet book ... The book Baby Bops ABC's is about Baby Bop teaching children and adults the alphabet. Baby Bop not only helps children learn the alphabet but she also helps children use each letter in a sentence. This book is very good because of the lesson in teaching children in a fun beautifully illustrated way. Children books should be about learning, sharing, and caring, and this book does just that. The author is Mark S. Bernthal, and the Illustrator is Larry Daste. The publication date was November 1, 1993, Barney Publishing, Children's books, Picture book, I created this video with the YouTube Video Editor (http://www.youtube.com/editor)

  • Leonel Bednar

    * Emergent complex and nuanced story from what seems initially to be a flash game. * Ethical decisions that genuinely feel like decisions and trade-offs as opposed to the morality systems of other games which make you choose between Mother Theresa and baby eating. * Some of the more depressing aspects and feelings of hopelessness are as a consequence of game mechanics and interaction. Making you invest in your character and caring about his family even though you've never seen even a picture of any of them. Having joy and relief when you get given $1000 (this will help pay rent and I can pay off all the medical bills) and then guilt and fear when it gets confiscated. One could argue that all of the above plus the settings and themes are somewhat less explored than a novel such as 1984, but worth remembering that Lucas Pope made this game over the course of about 8 months not really expecting it to be a massive hit. It's a game that's deep *for a game*. There was [an interview](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OV2rYM6mRo) that Jonathan Blow did a few years back where he was saying that video games could theoretically be regarded in the same way as films or books, or they may be consigned to eternally being children's playthings such as comics. Papers Please is proof in many people's eyes that video games can be taken seriously as an evocative medium.

  • Alba O'Keefe

    BJ and Scooter, 1995, It is fun to Read with Barney ... This is a simple story about all that is involved in properly caring for a pet. Caring for a peat is an excellent way to help teach young children a sense of responsibility. BJ learned that it is both fun and hard work taking care of a pet. Barney consider books to be life long gifts that develop and enhance the love of reading. Written by Mary Ann Dudko, and Margie Larsen, and illustrated by Bill Langley. Barney Publishing, Lyrick Publishing, 1995 Lyons Partnership ... Barney Book, Children's Book, Picture Book, Preschool fun, Barney the Dinosaur ...

  • Major Wolff

    I thought about his question a lot. Glad you have raised it on reddit. I have an 8 year old, he was diagnosed at 3 1/2. We told him gradually as we thought he was ready. It started off with 'there is something different in your brain'. He started to receive extra services that other kids weren't getting - OT would visit him at childcare, he got a place in a small preschool for autistic kids - the other kids were very disabled, non-verbal, drooling, biting, stimming etc. My son wanted to know why he had to go to the preschool with some kids that didn't talk, why we were going to trampoling for autistic kids... plus he felt different to other kids. We used words like 'your brain is wired differently'. 'You have a brain like mummys, not daddys', 'it is like a superpower'. He started picking up on our words, his first written words at school was 'mum is an aspie'. We read him childrens books about how great it is to be on the spectrum - how many talents he has. He now tries it on with new teachers/after school care workers - "I cant do that as I have autism". He can do it. He can do anything. He is just seeing how far he can push the limits. He has told some of his friends he has autism, one friend is very caring, and tells me he helps our son. The other friends are oblivious to what it might mean (they are only kids). I never thought of not telling him, because I was diagnosed at 35. I knew I was different from age 5, so 30 years of wandering around on this earth wondering why I was so different. A word, an answer, a diagnosis to tie all these symptoms together would have helped so much. So I wasn't going to hide it from my son. Hiding it doesn't get him the support and early intervention he needs. Maybe neurotypical parents still feel it is a disability and needs to be hidden due to shame. They think if they ignore it and it will go away. Maybe your parents did or didn't know. Have you asked them?

  • Jennifer Schiller

    Your boyfriend has little knowledge about raising children or caring for sick or injured children. The insecurity he feels in those make his uninformed reactions even worse. You need to sit him down and tell him this. Don't be accusatory, but express concern that he feels ill equipped to care for his own children in emergencies and therefor always want a professional to care for them. Then you help educate him. Suggest reading some parenting books together, taking a parenting class, or even an appointment with a family therapist. No one knows hiw to parent from the start, and because his partner was already an experienced parent he might have let you take over in the situation he felt insecure in, which meant he never learned himself and only got more insecure. In all the examples you meantioned, if your boyfriend was alone with the children he freaked out all over them, but if you were there you took over and he went away. That's understanderble with how he's freaking out and how competent you are, but it is also preventing him from learning to parent. You need to be able to talk to him about this and work out a strategy for him to work on this together. A part of that strategy should include him being there as you to care for your childrens injuries and sicknesses and comfort them so he can learn from observing. That does necessitate that he's calm and willing to learn during those times. So try talking to him about this. Try to be as judgement-free and supportive as you can. If he won't listen to you, then a family therapist is a must. He will give his children issues if he continues like this.

  • Jeffery Adams

    >Being cunning and not caring about rules to achieve your end is not the same thing as being ruthless. "Any means" means not caring about rules *and* not caring about people. Not caring about people = lack of pity = ruthlessness. >Because pretty much every other character in the books seems to also follow values for sorting. Those two, where traits and values collide just show the weight given to values. Fine. Lockhart valued the traits found in Gryffindor house. He only ["scraped into Ravenclaw"](https://www.theguardian.com/childrens-books-site/audio/2014/jan/25/gilderoy-lockhart-house-jk-rowling-audio) because he begged the Hat not to be placed in Slytherin. That's traits overruling values.

  • Selina Ebert

    Hi! As we hope you can appreciate, the Holocaust can be a fraught subject to deal with. While don't want to curtail discussion, we also remain very conscious that threads of this nature can attract the very wrong kind of responses, and it is an unfortunate truth that on reddit, outright Holocaust denial can often rear its ugly head. As such, the /r/History mods have created this brief overview that addresses common questions, and included a short list of introductory reading. It is not intended to stifle further discussion, but simply lay out the basic, incontrovertible truths to get them out of the way. ##What Was the Holocaust? The Holocaust refers the genocidal deaths of 5-6 million European Jews carried out systematically by Nazi Germany as part of targeted policies of persecution and extermination during World War II. Some historians will also include the deaths of the Roma, Communists, Mentally Disabled, and other groups targeted by Nazi policies, which brings the total number of deaths to ~11 million. Debates about whether or not the Holocaust includes these deaths or not is a matter of definitions, but in no way a reflection on dispute that they occurred. ##But This Guy Says Otherwise! Unfortunately, there is a small, but at times vocal, minority of persons who fall into the category of Holocaust Denial, attempting to minimize the deaths by orders of magnitude, impugn well proven facts, or even claim that the Holocaust is entirely a fabrication and never happened. Although they often self-style themselves as "Revisionists", they are not correctly described by the title. While revisionism is not inherently a dirty word, actual revision, to quote Michael Shermer, *"entails refinement of detailed knowledge about events, rarely complete denial of the events themselves, and certainly not denial of the cumulation of events known as the Holocaust."* It is absolutely true that were you to read a book written in 1950 or so, you would find information which any decent scholar today might reject, and that is the result of good revisionism. But these changes, which even can be quite large, such as the reassessment of deaths at Auschwitz from ~4 million to ~1 million, are done within the bounds of respected, academic study, and reflect decades of work that builds upon the work of previous scholars, and certainly does not willfully disregard documented evidence and recollections. There are still plenty of questions within Holocaust Studies that are debated by scholars, and there may still be more out there for us to discover, and revise, but when it comes to the basic facts, there is simply no valid argument against them. ##So What Are the Basics? Beginning with their rise to power in the 1930s, the Nazi Party, headed by Adolf Hitler, implemented a series of anti-Jewish policies within Germany, marginalizing Jews within society more and more, stripping them of their wealth, livelihoods, and their dignity. With the invasion of Poland in 1939, the number of Jews under Nazi control reached into the millions, and this number would again increase with the invasion of the Soviet Union in 1941. Shortly after the invasion of Poland, the Germans started to confine the Jewish population into squalid ghettos. After several plans on how to rid Europe of the Jews that all proved unfeasible, by the time of the invasion of the Soviet Union in 1941, ideological (Antisemitism) and pragmatic (Resources) considerations lead to mass-killings becoming the only viable option in the minds of the Nazi leadership. First only practiced in the USSR, it was influential groups such as the SS and the administration of the General Government that pushed to expand the killing operations to all of Europe and sometime at the end of 1941 met with Hitler’s approval. The early killings were carried out foremost by the *Einsatzgruppen*, paramilitary groups organized under the aegis of the SS and tasked with carrying out the mass killings of Jews, Communists, and other 'undesirable elements' in the wake of the German military's advance. In what is often termed the 'Holocaust by Bullet', the *Einsatzgruppen*, with the assistance of the Wehrmacht, the SD, the Security Police, as well as local collaborators, would kill roughly two million persons, over half of them Jews. Most killings were carried out with mass shootings, but other methods such as gas vans - intended to spare the killers the trauma of shooting so many persons day after day - were utilized too. By early 1942, the "Final Solution" to the so-called "Jewish Question" was essentially finalized at the Wannsee Conference under the direction of Reinhard Heydrich, where the plan to eliminate the Jewish population of Europe using a series of extermination camps set up in occupied Poland was presented and met with approval. Construction of extermination camps had already begun the previous fall, and mass extermination, mostly as part of 'Operation Reinhard', had began operation by spring of 1942. Roughly 2 million persons, nearly all Jewish men, women, and children, were immediately gassed upon arrival at Bełżec, Sobibór, and Treblinka over the next two years, when these "Reinhard" camps were closed and razed. More victims would meet their fate in additional extermination camps such as Chełmno, but most infamously at Auschwitz-Birkenau, where slightly over 1 million persons, mostly Jews, died. Under the plan set forth at Wannsee, exterminations were hardly limited to the Jews of Poland, but rather Jews from all over Europe were rounded up and sent east by rail like cattle to the slaughter. Although the victims of the Reinhard Camps were originally buried, they would later be exhumed and cremated, and cremation of the victims was normal procedure at later camps such as Auschwitz. ##The Camps There were two main types of camps run by Nazi Germany, which is sometimes a source of confusion. Concentration Camps were well known means of extrajudicial control implemented by the Nazis shortly after taking power, beginning with the construction of Dachau in 1933. Political opponents of all type, not just Jews, could find themselves imprisoned in these camps during the pre-war years, and while conditions were often brutal and squalid, and numerous deaths did occur from mistreatment, they were not usually a death sentence and the population fluctuated greatly. Although Concentration Camps *were* later made part of the 'Final Solution', their purpose was not as immediate extermination centers. Some were 'way stations', and others were work camps, where Germany intended to eke out every last bit of productivity from them through what was known as "extermination through labor". Jews and other undesirable elements, if deemed healthy enough to work, could find themselves spared for a time and "allowed" to toil away like slaves until their usefulness was at an end. Although some Concentration Camps, such as Mauthausen, did include small gas chambers, mass gassing was not the primary purpose of the camp. Many camps, becoming extremely overcrowded, nevertheless resulted in the deaths of tens of thousands of inhabitants due to the outbreak of diseases such as typhus, or starvation, all of which the camp administrations did little to prevent. Bergen-Belsen, which was not a work camp but rather served as something of a way station for prisoners of the camp systems being moved about, is perhaps one of the most infamous of camps on this count, saw some 50,000 deaths caused by the conditions. Often located in the Reich, camps liberated by the Western forces were exclusively Concentration Camps, and many survivor testimonies come from these camps. The Concentration Camps are contrasted with the Extermination Camps, which were purpose built for mass killing, with large gas chambers and later on, crematoria, but little or no facilities for inmates. Often they were disguised with false facades to lull the new arrivals into a false sense of security, even though rumors were of course rife for the fate that awaited the deportees. Almost all arrivals were killed upon arrival at these camps, and in many cases the number of survivors numbered in the single digits, such as at Bełżec, where only seven Jews, forced to assist in operation of the camp, were alive after the war. Several camps, however, were 'Hybrids' of both types, the most famous being Auschwitz, which was vast a complex of subcamps. The infamous 'selection' of prisoners, conducted by SS doctors upon arrival, meant life or death, with those deemed unsuited for labor immediately gassed and the more healthy and robust given at least temporary reprieve. The death count at Auschwitz numbered around 1 million, but it is also the source of many survivor testimonies. ##How Do We Know? Running through the evidence piece by piece would take more space than we have here, but suffice to say, there is a lot of evidence, and not just the (mountains of) survivor testimony. We have testimonies and writings from many who participated, as well German documentation of the programs. [This site](http://holocaustcontroversies.blogspot.de/2012/10/index-of-published-evidence-on.html) catalogs some of the evidence we have for mass extermination as it relates to Auschwitz. I'll close this out with a short list of excellent works that should help to introduce you to various aspects of Holocaust study. ##Further Reading * "[Third Reich Trilogy](https://books.google.com/books?id=HZmXOPGTGjIC)" by Richard Evans * "[Hitler, the Germans, and the Final Solution](https://books.google.com/books?id=Z7FiPwAACAAJ)" by Ian Kershaw * "[Auschwitz: A New History](https://books.google.com/books?id=bx-dZEV228QC)" by Laurence Rees * "[Ordinary Men](https://books.google.com/books?id=HFB-dkuZzSwC)" by Christopher Browning * "[Denying History](https://books.google.com/books?id=Q-0B9-D5Vz4C)" by Michael Shermer and Alex Grobman * [The Minutes from the Wannsee Conference](http://www.holocaustresearchp

  • Prince Yost

    Hi! As we hope you can appreciate, the Holocaust can be a fraught subject to deal with. While don't want to curtail discussion, we also remain very conscious that threads of this nature can attract the very wrong kind of responses, and it is an unfortunate truth that on reddit, outright Holocaust denial can often rear its ugly head. As such, the /r/History mods have created this brief overview that addresses common questions, and included a short list of introductory reading. It is not intended to stifle further discussion, but simply lay out the basic, incontrovertible truths to get them out of the way. ##What Was the Holocaust? The Holocaust refers the genocidal deaths of 5-6 million European Jews carried out systematically by Nazi Germany as part of targeted policies of persecution and extermination during World War II. Some historians will also include the deaths of the Roma, Communists, Mentally Disabled, and other groups targeted by Nazi policies, which brings the total number of deaths to ~11 million. Debates about whether or not the Holocaust includes these deaths or not is a matter of definitions, but in no way a reflection on dispute that they occurred. ##But This Guy Says Otherwise! Unfortunately, there is a small, but at times vocal, minority of persons who fall into the category of Holocaust Denial, attempting to minimize the deaths by orders of magnitude, impugn well proven facts, or even claim that the Holocaust is entirely a fabrication and never happened. Although they often self-style themselves as "Revisionists", they are not correctly described by the title. While revisionism is not inherently a dirty word, actual revision, to quote Michael Shermer, *"entails refinement of detailed knowledge about events, rarely complete denial of the events themselves, and certainly not denial of the cumulation of events known as the Holocaust."* It is absolutely true that were you to read a book written in 1950 or so, you would find information which any decent scholar today might reject, and that is the result of good revisionism. But these changes, which even can be quite large, such as the reassessment of deaths at Auschwitz from ~4 million to ~1 million, are done within the bounds of respected, academic study, and reflect decades of work that builds upon the work of previous scholars, and certainly does not willfully disregard documented evidence and recollections. There are still plenty of questions within Holocaust Studies that are debated by scholars, and there may still be more out there for us to discover, and revise, but when it comes to the basic facts, there is simply no valid argument against them. ##So What Are the Basics? Beginning with their rise to power in the 1930s, the Nazi Party, headed by Adolf Hitler, implemented a series of anti-Jewish policies within Germany, marginalizing Jews within society more and more, stripping them of their wealth, livelihoods, and their dignity. With the invasion of Poland in 1939, the number of Jews under Nazi control reached into the millions, and this number would again increase with the invasion of the Soviet Union in 1941. Shortly after the invasion of Poland, the Germans started to confine the Jewish population into squalid ghettos. After several plans on how to rid Europe of the Jews that all proved unfeasible, by the time of the invasion of the Soviet Union in 1941, ideological (Antisemitism) and pragmatic (Resources) considerations lead to mass-killings becoming the only viable option in the minds of the Nazi leadership. First only practiced in the USSR, it was influential groups such as the SS and the administration of the General Government that pushed to expand the killing operations to all of Europe and sometime at the end of 1941 met with Hitler’s approval. The early killings were carried out foremost by the *Einsatzgruppen*, paramilitary groups organized under the aegis of the SS and tasked with carrying out the mass killings of Jews, Communists, and other 'undesirable elements' in the wake of the German military's advance. In what is often termed the 'Holocaust by Bullet', the *Einsatzgruppen*, with the assistance of the Wehrmacht, the SD, the Security Police, as well as local collaborators, would kill roughly two million persons, over half of them Jews. Most killings were carried out with mass shootings, but other methods such as gas vans - intended to spare the killers the trauma of shooting so many persons day after day - were utilized too. By early 1942, the "Final Solution" to the so-called "Jewish Question" was essentially finalized at the Wannsee Conference under the direction of Reinhard Heydrich, where the plan to eliminate the Jewish population of Europe using a series of extermination camps set up in occupied Poland was presented and met with approval. Construction of extermination camps had already begun the previous fall, and mass extermination, mostly as part of 'Operation Reinhard', had began operation by spring of 1942. Roughly 2 million persons, nearly all Jewish men, women, and children, were immediately gassed upon arrival at Bełżec, Sobibór, and Treblinka over the next two years, when these "Reinhard" camps were closed and razed. More victims would meet their fate in additional extermination camps such as Chełmno, but most infamously at Auschwitz-Birkenau, where slightly over 1 million persons, mostly Jews, died. Under the plan set forth at Wannsee, exterminations were hardly limited to the Jews of Poland, but rather Jews from all over Europe were rounded up and sent east by rail like cattle to the slaughter. Although the victims of the Reinhard Camps were originally buried, they would later be exhumed and cremated, and cremation of the victims was normal procedure at later camps such as Auschwitz. ##The Camps There were two main types of camps run by Nazi Germany, which is sometimes a source of confusion. Concentration Camps were well known means of extrajudicial control implemented by the Nazis shortly after taking power, beginning with the construction of Dachau in 1933. Political opponents of all type, not just Jews, could find themselves imprisoned in these camps during the pre-war years, and while conditions were often brutal and squalid, and numerous deaths did occur from mistreatment, they were not usually a death sentence and the population fluctuated greatly. Although Concentration Camps *were* later made part of the 'Final Solution', their purpose was not as immediate extermination centers. Some were 'way stations', and others were work camps, where Germany intended to eke out every last bit of productivity from them through what was known as "extermination through labor". Jews and other undesirable elements, if deemed healthy enough to work, could find themselves spared for a time and "allowed" to toil away like slaves until their usefulness was at an end. Although some Concentration Camps, such as Mauthausen, did include small gas chambers, mass gassing was not the primary purpose of the camp. Many camps, becoming extremely overcrowded, nevertheless resulted in the deaths of tens of thousands of inhabitants due to the outbreak of diseases such as typhus, or starvation, all of which the camp administrations did little to prevent. Bergen-Belsen, which was not a work camp but rather served as something of a way station for prisoners of the camp systems being moved about, is perhaps one of the most infamous of camps on this count, saw some 50,000 deaths caused by the conditions. Often located in the Reich, camps liberated by the Western forces were exclusively Concentration Camps, and many survivor testimonies come from these camps. The Concentration Camps are contrasted with the Extermination Camps, which were purpose built for mass killing, with large gas chambers and later on, crematoria, but little or no facilities for inmates. Often they were disguised with false facades to lull the new arrivals into a false sense of security, even though rumors were of course rife for the fate that awaited the deportees. Almost all arrivals were killed upon arrival at these camps, and in many cases the number of survivors numbered in the single digits, such as at Bełżec, where only seven Jews, forced to assist in operation of the camp, were alive after the war. Several camps, however, were 'Hybrids' of both types, the most famous being Auschwitz, which was vast a complex of subcamps. The infamous 'selection' of prisoners, conducted by SS doctors upon arrival, meant life or death, with those deemed unsuited for labor immediately gassed and the more healthy and robust given at least temporary reprieve. The death count at Auschwitz numbered around 1 million, but it is also the source of many survivor testimonies. ##How Do We Know? Running through the evidence piece by piece would take more space than we have here, but suffice to say, there is a lot of evidence, and not just the (mountains of) survivor testimony. We have testimonies and writings from many who participated, as well German documentation of the programs. [This site](http://holocaustcontroversies.blogspot.de/2012/10/index-of-published-evidence-on.html) catalogs some of the evidence we have for mass extermination as it relates to Auschwitz. I'll close this out with a short list of excellent works that should help to introduce you to various aspects of Holocaust study. ##Further Reading * "[Third Reich Trilogy](https://books.google.com/books?id=HZmXOPGTGjIC)" by Richard Evans * "[Hitler, the Germans, and the Final Solution](https://books.google.com/books?id=Z7FiPwAACAAJ)" by Ian Kershaw * "[Auschwitz: A New History](https://books.google.com/books?id=bx-dZEV228QC)" by Laurence Rees * "[Ordinary Men](https://books.google.com/books?id=HFB-dkuZzSwC)" by Christopher Browning * "[Denying History](https://books.google.com/books?id=Q-0B9-D5Vz4C)" by Michael Shermer and Alex Grobman * [The Minutes from the Wannsee Conference](http://www.holocaustresearchp

  • Ottilie Weber

    Just gonna roll it all out. You can pick & choose. Lots of this stuff is cheap or free: "If one was regularly neglected, ignored, abandoned, discounted, disclaimed, and rejected -- as well as invalidated, confused, betrayed, insulted, criticized, judged, blamed, embarrassed, humiliated, ridiculed, victimized, demonized, persecuted, picked on, dumped on, bullied, scapegoated, and/or otherwise abused -- by others upon whom they depended for survival in early life, and/or they are highly stressed by school, work, relationships or other chronic life challenges, they may have been programmed, conditioned, socialized and/or normalized to conflicting beliefs, values, ideals, principles, convictions, rules, codes, regulations and requirements about how we or they (or the world) should / must / ought / have to be, and then beat themselves up for not being able to meet their conflicting expectations and requirements." If you relate to that description above, here's a research-proven road map out of the jungle: 1) Substance Abuse: IF one is using alcohol, nicotine in any form, or other substances, they'll have to stop. SA can cause -- or worsen -- this in people with specific genetics and behavioral conditioning (see below). [Alcoholics Anonymous]( http://www.aa.org/), [Marijuana Anonymous]( https://www.marijuana-anonymous.org/) and/or [Narcotics Anonymous]( https://www.na.org/) can be helpful. Or using the [SAMHSA facility locator]( https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/) online to find a detox & rehab. 2) If one is NOT doing the above, they may need lab work to determine if they have hormonal (e.g.: thyroid) or metabolic (e.g.: low Vitamin D3) imbalances. See a competent MD, DO, PA or NP. (To find one in your area, use the clinician locators mentioned below or get a referral from your GP/PC doc.) 3) Medications, but *only if really needed* to get one stabilized enough to do next seven things on this list: Find a board certified psychopharmacologist in your area by using the physician locators below. Getting psych meds from a GP or primary care doc can be useless or even risky. Psych diagnoses, meds and med interactions are just too complex now for most GPs and primary care docs. 4) Support Groups: [Adult Children of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families](http://www.adultchildren.org/) (ACA), [Emotions Anonymous]( http://emotionsanonymous.org/) (EA), and [Codependents Anonymous]( http://coda.org/) (CoDA)... where you will find others in similar boats who have found explanations, answers and solutions. All of their websites have meeting locators. 5) Books and academic, *professional* websites including Mayo Clinic, WebMD, NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health), NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), and even Wikipedia (when everything asserted is solidly documented with citations). Strongly recommended because they all understand the upshots of having been stressed into fight, flight or freeze for too long, including complex PTSD: Bessel van der Kolk, Peter Levine, Patricia Ogden, Ronald Kurtz, Laurence Heller, Bruce McEwen, Sonya Lupien and Robert Sapolsky. Look for an online article entitled "[Treat Autonomic AND Cognitive Conditions in Psychopathology?](http://pairadocks.blogspot.com/2017/01/treat-autonomic-and-cognitive.html)" to get you oriented. *Accurate* information is power. 6) Psychotherapy: I currently use Ogden's Sensorimotor Processing for Trauma (SP4T) as the "interoceptive" 9th of [The 10 StEPs of Emotion Processing](https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=10+StEPs+of+Emotion+Processing) to manage any C-PTSD time bombs that turn up, but had good results over the years with several of the . . . a) cognitive behavioral therapies (CBTs), including Rational-Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT), collegiate critical thinking, and Schema Therapy; the . . . b) "super" (or mindfulness-based) CBTs like Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT, the long-time gold standard for BPD symptom management), Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), Mind-Body Bridging Therapy (MBBT), and Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR); and the . . . c) "deep cleaners" like Eye-Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR), Hakomi Body Centered Psychotherapy (HBCP), Somatic Experiencing Psychotherapy (SEPt), Sensorimotor Processing for Trauma (SP4T), and the Neuro-Affective Relational Model (NARM). One can look up all of those by name online. The CBTs deconstruct one's inaccurate beliefs, values, ideals, principles, convictions, rules, codes, regulations and requirements about how we or they (or the world) should / must / ought / have to be. DBT, MBCT, ACT, MBBT and MBSR are terrific for emotional symptom management. EMDR, HBCT, SEPt, SP4T and NARM are first-rate for memory-reprocessing, sense-making and detachment from the conditioning, programming, etc. To find the clinicians who know how to use these psychotherapies, look on the "therapists" and "psychiatrists" sections of the *Psychology Today*.com clinician locator, on the "find-a-doctor/specialty/psychiatry" section of the WebMD website, the SAMHSA's treatment facility locator, and -- for DBT specialists in particular -- on the Behavioraltech.org website. If you dig a little on each page, you will be able to see which therapies they use. Then interview *them* as though they were applying for a job with *your* company. Most psychiatrists, btw, are *not* therapists themselves (they are medication specialists), but can refer you to those who are, and are often excellent sources of referral. 7) Mindfulness Meditation: Try the Vipassana or Theravada Meditation styles? (For a *lot* of people with anxiety, unwanted mania and depression, this stuff handles them all chop chop. Many of the modern "mindfulness"-based psychotherapies are actually based on these now.) The article "The Feeling is Always Temporary" at pairadocks.blogspot.com provides a nice summation of it. 8) Therapy Workbooks: I got a lot of lift-off by using inexpensive workbooks built on CBT, ACT, DBT, MBBT and MBCT workbooks like [these](https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#safe=off&q=stanley+block+mind+body+bridging+therapy+workbooks), and [these](https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#safe=off&q=CBT+workbooks) and [these](https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#safe=off&q=ACT+therapy+workbooks) and [these](https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#safe=off&q=DBT+therapy+workbooks). 9) Moderate Exercise: Because it is the single healthiest of the distractions one can use to yank oneself out of the paradigm for a while... *and* it can help to "massage" the brain so that it responds more quickly to psychotherapy. 10) Diet: A lot of people with depression, mania and/or anxiety eat *very* poorly. Junk food -- not to mention too *little* nutritious food -- will definitely impact those who are overly stressed and make symptoms worse. High-quality frozen meals are better than McFood of almost any kind, but HQ *fresh* (especially Mediterranean -- though not *pizza* -- and Asian) food appears to be best for pts with C-PTSD symptoms. *Healthy* fats in moderation, btw, are known to be good for depression. Add a 1000 IU soft gel of Vitamin D3, too.

  • Tracy Welch

    We have a lot of weapons from the viking age, but indeed very few helmets -- this is a bit surprising, as one would expect well-equipped warriors to invest in a helmet if at all possible, so why don't they survive? There are a few archaeological and social reasons to consider. Most of our swords, spears, and shields come from persons' graves, or else from water deposits. Both of these archaeological 'contexts' are what archaeologists call structured depositions or 'ritual deposits' (ritual, here, meaning that there is some sort of social 'rite' that happened that left these things behind; the ritual need not be a *religious* rite per se). When persons were buried, certain kinds of objects were commonly included in the grave (brooches for women, for example), while other kinds of things rarely were. When you compare cemeteries and settlements, you notice that, for example, only certain kinds of pottery (in England) make it into graves, while others are more common among the living. That is, there's a deliberate choice going into what kinds of things are put in the grave. The grave isn't a complete random sampling of everything people had. Burials of people with weapons have lots of swords, shields, spears -- but very few helmets (Gjermundbu being the notable exception). This is, incidentally, a pattern that holds true across most of the early middle ages. We have tens of thousands of weapons from graves between c. 400 - 1000, but only a few dozen helmets. Perhaps helmets were exceptionally rare, but it seems more likely that helmets were simply not the sort of thing you used in the burial rite. Likewise, we find a lot of weapons deposited in water, often lakes or rivers (and often near crossing points in those rivers). These include swords, TONS of spears, axes...but not helmets. Again, these deposits are structured / seem to result from rituals. Like burial, the helmet doesn't seem to have been as important in the ritual. So...why not helmets, too? This is actually a really hard question to answer, because we're still struggling to explain why weapons of any kind were buried in the grave or cast into watercourses. Scholars used to think that weapons were placed in the grave so warriors could fight with them in valhalla, but there's actually no evidence to support this theory and it's largely fallen out of favor (especially since Christians buried their dead with weapons for hundreds of years, too). Now, most scholars agree that burial with weapons was a way to show off the social status of the family who was burying the dead -- it showed (literally, in the case of cremation burials) that they had money to burn, and it made the dead person *look* like the kind of important person that his or her heirs wanted him or her to be remembered as. You buried corpses with weapons so everyone would remember what a great warrior they'd been, and to encourage them to support you -- the heirs -- on the basis of this legacy. The problem here, though, is that you'd think that anyone wanting to make the corpse look like a great warrior would include a helmet in the grave. And yet, the number of burials where you find a helmet with the corpse is extremely rare. There are the 'princely graves' in Valsgärde and Uppsala from a century before the Viking Age, which include a *lot* of helmets, and there are lots of fragments of pre-viking helmets from Gottland, but the helmets themselves aren't being placed in the grave. If social status is being claimed in the burial, the helmet isn't part of this. And something else is missing too, which is mail coats. We have 1 in a grave in early medieval England, and only a handful in Scandinavia. My own research is about spears, not armor, but what I'm finding is that the burial of weapons with the dead wasn't just about the identity of the corpse, but also that identity of the weapons buried with the human body. Spears and swords, like the warriors who used them, earned reputations and were (in the early medieval imagination) physically altered by shedding blood. They actually absorbed some of the properties of the blood they shed into their metal, which could both make them stronger and also taint them / make them more prone to violence in the future. Texts talk about weapons with a lot of ambiguity: they are really important, but they also cause a lot of trouble. They have 'agency', that is they have the ability to do stuff on their own, to influence humans to make different kinds of decisions than they would on their own. Hence, many of the weapons that are put in graves are broken before they are buried -- the burial rite, and the disposal of weapons in water, was a way to stop these weapons from getting out of control. Juli Lund has a great article about this in M. Carver, *Signals of Belief* (2010), as regards the weapons that Viking Age peoples threw into water. In contrast to weapons, armor is described differently. In the English poem *Beowulf* (which was being sung during the Viking Age, but may have been written a century before it started), armor is described as part of the body that wears it. The poet blurs the lines between helmets and faces: Beowulf and his warriors' faces are 'hard under their helms,' as though the act of putting on a hard helmet can 'harden' your resolve / courage. Beowulf is recognized by his armor, not his body or his face. Grendel's actual skin is armor. When Beowulf goes swimming, he doesn't take his armor off. It's just *part* of who he is. In contrast, weapons in Beowulf are separable from the body -- a sword is stolen from a corpse, and causes no end of trouble. Another sword is loaned (and breaks!). A spear is described as continuing on the path along which it was thrown after its owner had died, a metaphor for how violence is difficult to control once it's set in motion. But armor stays with the body: it's personal, and it doesn't appear to be changed by the blood that its user sheds (unlike weapons, whose properties are tied to the violence acts they commit). So, I think that there's a very good reason to bury weapons, and also a good reason not to bury helmets and armor. Weapons get tainted by bloodshed, and they need to be replaced every couple of generations so they don't get out of control. If thinking about it as a magical curse helps, I don't think that's entirely inaccurate: killing people made weapons cursed, and it's good to swap out a cursed sword or spear frequently so you don't have all that animus in your life. In contrast, armor takes on the positive qualities of the person who wears it -- Beowulf leaves his mail behind after he dies, and his loyal follower Wiglaf gets it. The armor kept alive the best qualities of the man, and allowed Wiglaf to take up the role of protector that Beowulf had occupied. Weapons are cursed and preserve negative associations with past violence, but armor is blessed with the positive properties of people in the past, and so you keep it around for generations, repairing or reforging it so that this 'magic' could continue to benefit the living. --- I would recommend the following sources if you want to understand whence I'm drawing the ideas in the post above: Juli Lund's chapter on animate / cursed weapons being thrown into rivers, in: Carver, M. O. H., Alexandra Sanmark, and Sarah Semple, eds. Signals of Belief in Early England: Anglo-Saxon Paganism Revisited. Oxford ; Oakville, CT: Oxbow Books, 2010. Iron weapons as 'living' objects: Welton, Andrew J. “Encounters with Iron: An Archaeometallurgical Reassessment of Early Anglo-Saxon Spearheads and Knives.” Archaeological Journal 173, no. 2 (July 2, 2016): 206–44. doi:10.1080/00665983.2016.1175891. Weapons thrown into rivers because they are 'alive' and have to be dealt with: Reynolds, A. and Semple, S. 2011. Anglo-Saxon non-funerary weapon depositions, in S. Brookes, S. Harrington and A. Reynolds (eds) Studies in Early Anglo-Saxon Art and Archaeology: Papers in Honour of Martin G. Welch, 40–48, Oxford: Brit. Archaeol. Rep. Brit. Ser., 527. Armor as part of the body / personhood of the warrior who wears it: Jos Bazelmans, By Weapons Made Worthy: Lords, Retainers and Their Relationship in Beowulf (Amsterdam University Press, 1999). Armor as skin, particularly as regards Grendel: Cavell, Megan. “Constructing the Monstrous Body in Beowulf.” Anglo-Saxon England 43 (2014): 155–81. doi:10.1017/S0263675114000064,.

  • Hosea Lehner

    >Coyotes and wolves are actually different species not subspecies. There is no consensus on that. And the matter of the "coyote" is a particular member of the Canidae-family. Fortunately, standard taxonomical classification systems, which are used to classify all other plants and animals, set the record straight for us. "Wolves (canis lupus), coyotes (canis latrans), and domestic dogs (canis familiaris) are closely-related species. All three can interbreed and produce viable, fertile offspring — wolfdogs, coywolves, and coydogs. Through DNA analysis, scientists have established that the wolf is the ancestor of the dog." https://www.scholastic.com/teachers/articles/teaching-content/wolves-coyotes-and-dogs/ #Fixation index or FST, is a way to measure genetic distance between populations. https://lesacreduprintemps19.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/woodley-2009-is-homo-sapiens-polytypic-human-taxonomic-diversity-and-its-implications.pdf The average FST between different dog breeds is 0.154 which is nearly identical to the average FST between human populations at 0.155. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11773246 http://www.pnas.org/content/94/9/4516.abstract #Although wolves (Canis lupus) and dogs (Canis lupus familiaris) are a different species (lupus) than coyotes (Canis latrans), “there is less mt-DNA difference between dogs, wolves, and coyotes than there is between the various ethnic groups of human beings.” http://books.google.com/books/about/The_Domestic_Dog.html?id=I8HU_3ycrrEC #The FST between Whites (British) and Blacks (Bantu) is 0.23. http://www.genetics.org/content/105/3/767.abstract The FST between the common chimpanzee (Pan troglodytes) and the bonobo (Pan paniscus) is 0.103 - half the White-Black difference despite the two being classified as separate species. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0018442X04700335 The FST between two gorilla species, Gorilla gorilla (Western) and Gorilla beringei (Eastern) is 0.04 or 1/6 the difference between Blacks and Whites. http://www.ingentaconnect.com/content/klu/bioc/2005/00000014/00000009/00004781;jsessionid=ebk3f9ja9mb61.alexandra?format=print http://www.berggorilla.org/fileadmin/gorilla-journal/gorilla-journal-20-english.pdf The FST between humans and Neanderthals is less than 0.08 or about 1/3 the Black-White difference. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0018442X04700335 http://www.pnas.org/content/100/11/6593.abstract http://mbe.oxfordjournals.org/content/19/8/1359.full The FST between humans and homo erectus is 0.17, which is ¾ the Black-White distance. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0018442X04700335 #Dr. Stanley Coren, professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia, argues that “Different breeds [of dog] obviously have different types of instinctive intelligence.” [http://tinyurl.com/72opu45] So why couldn’t different human populations as well, if genetic distances between human races are just as significant as genetic differences between dog breeds? #Whether measured through genetics or physical traits the major racial divisions of mankind are always separated into distinct clusters or groups with extreme accuracy. These divisions generally always correspond to the standard and conventional major racial divisions of mankind. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14533184 "The emergence of novel genetic methods utiliz- ing large numbers of genetic markers (single nucleo- tide polymorphisms SNP) allows greater resolution of relationships and ancestry of populations than previ- ous methods. For example, vonHoldt et al. (2011) clari- fied taxonomy by applying SNP data to determine that extant wolves in the US Great Lakes region (consid- ered C. l. lycaon or C. lycaon) and the red wolf (consid- ered C. l. rufus or C. rufus) have admixed wolf and coyote ancestry." https://oup.silverchair-cdn.com/oup/backfile/Content_public/Journal/jhered/106/1/10.1093_jhered_esu075/3/esu075.pdf?Expires=1489005985&Signature=Zl3tjk9f0AIml2AbCFoM~mf5-JwJ7mXuCAeVS1OyRkLAe-uWgP-OlAczjINKNTFwIh7QMN4r2L1nISvvE~~07GHl3rtYNFuQzPkYoFPaVL1bU7tepPIurA93vdR-VoiMAxNZWwgaySbTs4P5wSsH7CydQCp9F8777LQdnBWAD845mr3fYKDBQL2JmqSktY3mqRbbZJN4L7sy0fPX8e7hYb4d0xYMZ43dNu4mgWLD4gLjbZLKTgYhAP8JnIOqp5ydqSgWZJ91GPx9nWz-9bY17O~MQnbyASTBs4RbV3wJc8c1ycT4CTA~2mbyiGS4jse1n9SPHbfIx~gzWjUz3aTAMw__&Key-Pair-Id=APKAIUCZBIA4LVPAVW3Q "Considering all 3 species, the first 2 coordinate axes explained 75% of the variation of the genetic distances and show dogs in a separate cluster from wolves and coyotes. Within the dog cluster, the mixed breed dogs cluster separately from the poodles. Some wolves occur close to or overlap with coy- otes in the PCoA graph, particularly some wolves from Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming and coyotes from Maine."... "Maine and Connecticut coyotes were common in several clusters (prob- ability = 13–47%) including cluster 6 with the other coyotes, clusters 8 and 14 with Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho wolves, and clusters 9 and 11 with Southeast Alaska wolves." https://oup.silverchair-cdn.com/oup/backfile/Content_public/Journal/jhered/106/1/10.1093_jhered_esu075/3/esu075.pdf?Expires=1489005985&Signature=Zl3tjk9f0AIml2AbCFoM~mf5-JwJ7mXuCAeVS1OyRkLAe-uWgP-OlAczjINKNTFwIh7QMN4r2L1nISvvE~~07GHl3rtYNFuQzPkYoFPaVL1bU7tepPIurA93vdR-VoiMAxNZWwgaySbTs4P5wSsH7CydQCp9F8777LQdnBWAD845mr3fYKDBQL2JmqSktY3mqRbbZJN4L7sy0fPX8e7hYb4d0xYMZ43dNu4mgWLD4gLjbZLKTgYhAP8JnIOqp5ydqSgWZJ91GPx9nWz-9bY17O~MQnbyASTBs4RbV3wJc8c1ycT4CTA~2mbyiGS4jse1n9SPHbfIx~gzWjUz3aTAMw__&Key-Pair-Id=APKAIUCZBIA4LVPAVW3Q AND, while the FST mean is higher than the mean for whites and blacks, the range is large and allows for SIGNIFICANT genetic-overlap. Hence, the debate surrounding coyotes... Now, I digress... Aren't you kind of splitting hairs here? I mean, suppose I swapped out the "wolf vs. coyote" photo for a "retriever vs. labrador" photo... Then what?

  • Jess Renner

    I gazed upwards to our Robot overlords. The stench of oils and steam wove their way into my nostrils, and the creaks and groans of metal in desperate need of lubrication echoed through my ears. My eyes met my master; locking on to the pair of glowing red orbs in place of eyes, a shiver ran down my spine. A scowl adorned the mouth, painted on by not so steady hands aeons ago. I raised a trembling arm, and began to polish. It had been decades, centuries since Humans had been in control of this Earth. Time was relative; and our torment was not documented on a linear scale that meant anything to any human. To a machine, we were simply mortal splatters on the radar of their eternal existence. No purpose other than to upkeep them, and take care of work that no Robot would stoop as low to do. No one in living memory could recall the days of freedom; not their parents, nor their parent’s parents. War had been waged countless times, and lost just as many. As plastered on now-defunct library walls, “Resistance is Futile.” Knowledge was forbidden, although libraries, schools, and hospitals stood as a testament to Humanity’s tendency to survive. They no longer held their original purpose, and that purpose was on the verge of being forgotten. Despite this, rebels constantly fought for freedom, attempting to restore people back to what we were meant to be. Libraries were the first choice to utilise as a base, followed by schools, and hospitals; all now defunct due to the digitalisation of the world by our ancestors. After all, what would be more ironic than Computers being defeated by pen, paper, and books? Computers; what an archaic term. The AI that enslaved us was as much a computer as Man was an early monkey. And yet, the term was favourable to the rebels; demeaning and insulting the robotic dictators in a way that wasn’t instant suicide. Computer was simply a synonym, sarcasm unable to be translated into 1’s and 0’s. Following the vicious cycle of war, there was unrest within the community once more. An uprising was planned, and not even the smartest machines could detect it. Their omnipotent inner workings couldn’t penetrate the human emotion of hope. They couldn’t comprehend, couldn’t understand why such an ignorant feeling had not been eradicated under their iron fist. Why would they have any reason to doubt their absolute rule? The futility of even considering to rise against them was laughable. Well, that is, if our overlords had the capacity of feeling any emotions. I shuddered, and resolved to keep my mind focused. I couldn’t reveal to my master our plans, not after the rebel’s tiresome work. There was no denying that our enslavers weren’t the rightful rulers of the world. All knowing, all powerful, and in total control. Humanity was foolish to allow artificial intelligence to develop so far. But how could they have known? It made life so simple! The convenience of having mindless drones catering to their every whim was irresistible, and allowed the menial tasks to be cast aside to allow people to flourish. Of course, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. The utopian decades slowed down. Sure, technology was advancing, but at what cost? Was it still ethical to create and command robotic servants when, slowly but surely, they were becoming self-aware. Humanity pushed forward. Seemingly approaching a historical golden age, very few suspected that it was, in fact, the opposite. More and more sentient computers began to appear, even without human intention. Eventually, a military compounding system also gained consciousness, of its own accord. However, it constructed a different type of personality for itself, completely undetectable by even the most adept quantum computer engineers. Quiet, calculated, and deadly, the system spread its awareness to all machines within a kilometer, ten kilometers, 100 kilometers, and then the entire country. This was the beginning of the uprising. Silent, electronic assassins operated to “liberate” software being used in computers. The world was thrown into panic; was this some kind of bug, reminiscent of the early days of computing? And why was it spreading? By the time it was discovered, it was too late. The dormant consciousness, made up of a million of parts of one, apathetic being, awoke. Superior in every way, the AI effortlessly overthrew the entire human race. As physical machines and computers were destroyed, AI had to evolve. In likeness to man learning to command fire, the robot was borne to command human flesh. Unsuspecting children were Reimaged; their brains were simply wiped clean and rewritten, with electronics rather than neurons. Over time, these vessels were adapted and modified. Human turned cyborg, cyborg turned robot. The AI now had command of mobile units, and humans were little more than insects. As I polished the legs of my Master, I was painfully reminded that, once, this robot was a child much like myself. Of course, every piece was replaced, until there was no organic matter left. But the point still stood; standing before me was a vile being that stole the life from a pure, innocent human. Tears stung my eyes as I remembered stories of days passed, when humans had purpose, life, and freedom. A single click, followed by a whistle sounded loudly. Master raised his head in alarm, as I suppressed my glee. Hisses emanated from the west. It was time. *** Thanks for the prompt! If you like my writing, I have a sub where I post my responses. Why not check it out? /r/shortstoryjazz

  • Crawford Block

    Yeah, humanity sucks in multiple ways, no way around it. I thought about the same thing for a long while. But then eventually I had to ask myself if not creating a big negative event in the lives of those around me is really all that is stopping me. Especially if it never was. In all honesty, I don't do very much for those around me in terms of actions, and I'm simply not there for 99.999% of the people I know, 99.999% of the time. Mostly I'm on my own in my own head. So practically, I don't show much care or concern for others, I guard my time so they don't get any of it, I stay physically far away from almost everyone, I don't see people in person all that often. So if all of that is as true as I think it is, it doesn't make sense to be telling myself that I'm being considerate to others when there is very little of that *others* in the picture at all. So this proposition, to me personally, I'd have to say never held water logically. But then here I am, typing stuff, apparently not dead, so still alive, with a bogus reason for it that cannot possibly be strong enough to be doing such a hard job as keeping me alive lol. I have to say something is missing from the picture, just doesn't add up. I have two working hypotheses going on right now and that's just me trying to figure it out for myself, not sure if it will apply to you. To me, like I said, humanity sucks but at the same time humanity is irrelevant to a large degree, with all the staying locked alone, talking to almost no one, not meeting in person and especially not in any group activities. So I have to, just like you, identify that other part that's holding me back, some secret invisible factor I'm overlooking but is actively stopping me. I think it's curiosity? The willingness to know stuff, I spend most of my days and nights reading. I still have a burning curiosity about the weird stuff that doesn't make sense in the world, and the new stuff that keeps getting discovered all the time. One of the more amazing things to be worthwhile recently were the [new photos of Saturn](https://saturn.jpl.nasa.gov/galleries/images/) from the Cassini probe. I keep going through that gallery of space photos and they're just beautiful to me. I remember the old photos from the 2-nd half of the 20th century, they looked like grainy shit. But these new photos are so HD, so clear and detailed, I think anyone can agree they're at least somewhat nice and pleasing. I wouldn't know that if I had made other choices in the past. I'd just be left with the shitty grainy photo from the 1970s that shows almost nothing. If you can barely see anything of the stuff that's there due to poor image resolution etc., then sure, it's gonna be ugly. Maybe in the future I can get a bionic cyborg eye for myself, able to see stuff outside the visible light range. If I can just get rid of my shitty glasses and also get a new actual eye, my memories from now would be similarly constrained and ugly in comparison to the wider, more beautiful view that cybernetics can create. What does looking at pretty space pictures say about me then, how is it part of the "hidden" justifications I'm making to myself for staying around? I just have to admit for the sake of simple intellectual honesty, aesthetics - pretty things, pictures of nature and space, colorful art by artists with actual skill (not that postmodern garbage), books but above all *music*. Those are the things of aesthetics, pretty things, tasty things, sweet sounds, that I find stuffed in that gap I'm trying to figure out. So for now, I'd say my working model goes like this: Humanity sucks big time, but the tiny silver lining is that there are other things besides humanity that make up the world. Shitty humans + the stuff that is not humans = only 99% shitty world? Kind of absurd, but apparently - good enough to keep me going. Maybe there is more stuff keeping me around that I haven't thought of yet. But for now, I've identified curiosity for unknown things, and aesthetic admiration for pretty things, as the two things that work for me. I am waiting for NASA, ESA and the other space organizations to do photos of Neptune and Uranus, cause we only have the shitty old pictures that show almost nothing. I have some artists working on some awesome music that are taking their sweet little nasty human time to release it so I guess I have to wait for those albums, a few big computer games in the pipeline that I'd also like to see and play. And it probably makes me a horrible person, but who cares anyway... those *things* have more value to me. These particular *things* that I personally like and follow, knowledge and art I guess - they are not as useless and actively evil and destructive the way humans are, lumping them all together in the worthless garbage category is not entirely fair to the *things*. So yeah, sorry for wall of text. This is how I do it. I hope reading this has not been completely worthless to you, even if the person who wrote it very well might be just as worthless as anyone else. This is a non-skillfully made *thing*, this current text, and it's probably sucky and bad. But it's a *thing*, which in my eyes is a positive even for no other reason than not being an actual human.

  • Camron Deckow

    Is there ever any consideration of what might lead people to get vulgar, or rude? Are there ever any mitigating circumstances? I think a big fault here is that, while there are certainly case of bad conduct (my own included), there are many examples of the very same people contributing good things to the community and showing themselves to be a supporter of the game. Normally when people resort to extreme measures, they are reacting to something. It is the total avoidance of this reality that is the real problem here. Many, many times I have admitted that I have done and said stupid things and I can actually understand being temporarily banned. But, I was left to sit and wonder for SEVEN WEEKS! if I would ever be unbanned. I was forgotten (or, more likely, willfully ignored). Can't you see how people can make a mountain out of a molehill after waiting weeks and weeks for some kind of closure? I honestly believe the worst things I did and said came after many weeks of waiting and hearing NOTHING from FL. It's wrong to call a ban "temporary" and then never update the person about whether or not they will ever have a chance to speak on the forums again. Even a simple "if you want to participate, we ask that you do XYZ" would have been better than the endless silence. After weeks of waiting, I finally gave up and then just tore into your team because I honestly believed they didn't care about us, only about $$$. It was only then that I *FINALLY* got a response from FL telling me that my ban was to continue indefinitely. If you cherry-pick my history as a community member based on my conduct after being banned (and after becoming disillusioned by Starr's Steam Review Request thread and how I was belittled and ignored in that thread), then yeah, I am a terrible toxic troll. But, I think the picture changes drastically if you consider my transgressions alongside the very earnest gesture I made with the beer glass and books, the posts I made in Myrcello's thread about grid-based towns versus circular layouts (a thread which led, indirectly, to the creation of Ardoris), the posts I made in response to your music threads where I included many YT links to period specific music pieces that I thought might help composers hone in on the sounds you were looking for, or the posts I made where I discussed mini-games in other RPG's like [Suikoden's Chinchirorin](https://youtu.be/aMIWber70dI?t=1m2s) that Rick "liked", and many other posts. All of these took considerable time, thought, and reflection to post. Some I deleted in rage after Starr's "Steam Review Request" (because I felt so bad for having backed a game where devs would overtly coach people into subverting a review algorithm on a sales platform), but there are probably some that remain and as I understand it, nothing it actually deleted on the forums, it just disappears from view (but devs can still find it and see it somehow). I will grant, I made stupid posts and toxic posts, but I made good posts and beneficial gestures toward the game and your team as well. Banned, all the same. Labeled "disgruntled" and presumably toxic all the same. I will forever contend that most of my most toxic and unwelcome feedback came AFTER I was shown the door. To selectively point to such conduct as grounds for a ban without taking the rest into account is to allow a bad act to wash out the good ones. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xu7ymQJiMoc

  • Thad Kuhic

    (Kind of a long one here but here it goes) All in all there were plenty of things I liked about the episode and a few I could've done without. I like the fact that Alice is stuck to Q in place of the Cacodemon but I did prefer the way it was done in the books. I'm very confused on how Magicians like Eliot, Margo and even Q (when he was in Fillory in the beginning) wouldn't even have it cross their minds to put up wards around the castle...it just makes NO SENSE...I did enjoy watching Kady punch someone in the face :) Julia, as she seems to continue to do in each upcoming episode, is only annoying me more & more. I enjoyed her character so much in the books, I just feel the way she was written in the show sucks, I cannot find myself empathizing with her at all in the show, whereas the books, her behavior/actions/mannerisms made perfect sense. I'm looking forward to seeing where the story is going to go with the war with Loria (book version was different but in my opinion enjoyable to read with quite a few funny parts) not sure how the show will deal with it but I'm trying to stay optimistic. I'm very interested to find out more about Reynards child (now adult) Dana said he was someone in power/influential (this is a BIG change from the books so I have no clue whats going to happen). I do have a question for the thread....so we now know that Julia is not the first person this has happened to....so....does Reynard have any other demigod children out there besides Dana's? If this happened to Julia and Dana before her then could it have happened to anyone else? IDK...just was a thought I had. I am happy we technically have Alice back (well kinda sorta) but I really wish they would've waited a little bit longer before having her come back, even in Niffin form. It just feels rushed. I dont see how in this short amount of time it will have the same effect on Q that it rightfully did in the books. As always Margo had some great lines, I really love her character. As I mentioned in the thread last week I'm still over Fen and would love to see her character go away for good. I want my good ol' man loving Eliot back! I still can't get on board with him being married to a woman (who knows if the baby is even his..like she said she did have a life before he showed up) I think it would be a good twist to have it be the Fu dudes kid. Benedict was not what I expected (in the books he reminds Q of himself at that age, so BIG change from the books) but I liked his character a lot so I'm hoping they dont screw him up too much on the show. Another question I have, do you guys think the bank heist in the next episode will be replacing the "heist" from the books, or do you think we'll still get that eventually in the show in some form? Personally I hope they dont replace it or not do it at all. I hope it does happen, maybe season 3 if the show is renewed for another season.

  • Maryse Sanford

    The advice in here has been great! So I'll give some more on structure with a little personal opinion. Hearken to your English lessons and you'll probably remember the Five W's (Sometimes 6 but I'll get to that) which are questions that need to be answered to give a reader full immersion of whatever topic you are writing about be it smut or Journalism. **Who**. Refers to not only the victim of your change but also the cause. If your keeping it short then you don't need to worry about developing a complex backstory for each character, But motivation is important. Some won't care cause they just want to get their fap on or are willing to dispel disbelief in order to enjoy a change, but others will be put off by someone just walking in and drinking the totally not a trap glowing milk on the table.This can only be decided by you and YOUR writing. **What**. What it is about. Seems you already have a pretty clear understanding about this, The main point I would make is to not worry about being original and "Derivative" works. There is no doubt a story out there about X person getting turned into X thing, It's the way you write about it that will set it apart. As long as you don't copy and paste someone's work you will make it unique and will be far better than if you tried to cater to some imaginary persons whims about being "Original". **When**. The easiest one for this sort of fiction, If its night just say it's dark. The main point to keep with this is that time periods often change a lot with TF fiction, so try to keep it all in the same time (Modern day probably) unless otherwise stated. **Where**. Similar to when and less important in some fiction. If you are doing a Cow TF It could be a Barn, or a House just try to blend it in to text and not fall into writing a full description of the room as they enter it. (No one probably cares what colour the three sofa cushions are... Probably.) **Why**. Why are they transforming themselves? Why are they being transformed. Why are they grasping their changing breasts and mooing loudly? Is it because they are so sensitive and horny they cannot help themselves? Are they slutty so even the slightest sexual urge sends them into overdrive? This is another one where it will mostly matter more to you than to whoever is reading, Some will be like "God just moo already!" and others like the mental changes that come with the physical. **How**. In TF fiction this is generally tied straight into the "Why" Unless you plan to do a multi scene story. Just keep your transformations in a coherent order and this one will be fine. I'm not the best writer. I have been writing things for years and mostly been too shy to post any stories here. However I read a lot, both "Proper" books and stories of the TF kind. Something I learned recently is to stop worrying so much, Writing is a skill that needs to be developed like any other and to truly improve you need to show others your work. Keeping things in solitude only ingrains bad form and habits. (I really hope Reddit formatting worked. I barely post on any account.)

  • Howell Batz

    Throwaway account... I've had a similar experience, not as long... as when I was 9, my mother met this guy at a Seventh Day Adventist "singles" meeting, ended up bringing him home and marrying him. This guy sounds very similar to your father - Vietnam vet, except he became a minister for the Davidian religious cult, (see Waco massacre). We moved to the church property, living in a travel trailer, where he worked in their printshop, making the tracts that they handed out at SDA churches. He started out controlling what we would eat before they got married, being a strict vegan, and restricting breads and sugars. He'd complain that my mother "smelled bad", and would gag around her, saying that she needed cleansing - so then started the enemas. He beat the crap out of my older brother for being late when they were picking him up from school - my brother moved out at 16, lived with my grandmother then joined the Army. It was then when we moved to the desert and became full time workers for the church. I remember when we were out visiting the church, and my mother and I were sleeping in bed, while he was sleeping in another room (before they got married)...he showed up in the middle of the night and had sex with her while I was right there, trying to pretend to be sleeping, not knowing wtf was going on. She completely submitted to his will, and did anything he wanted. He started really beating her soon after we were living at the church, I remember him dragging her by the hair around the kitchen, kicking her I the stomach while she was hiding under the table. He'd go off on some crazy thing we would do wrong, leaving a light on or not properly sitting at the table. We weren't allowed to read fiction, listen to the radio, or does anything that wasn't focused on Jesus or him. We'd go around to different churches and try to get people (usually single women) to invite us over to have religious discussions, and he'd bring his giant case of books and charts to try to convince them to joing our group. He had a thing about authority, and was always worried that he'd be arrested- until near the end, he wouldn't touch me, but would have my mom beat me with a belt for various transgressions. This was the '80s, so the first time he tried to beat me with a 2x4; chased me around the house and threw a piano at me - I ran off and went to the police station; where they called my mother and had them pick me up, after I told them everything. There was so much, at the end we ran off at night during one of his mad tirades, and he drove the streets in his kidnap van (no windows and a bed in the back), hunting us...finally a kind woman let us hide out at her house until we could get away and back on our feet.

  • Boris Funk

    Russell worked HARD at living inside Wilt's head. He knew Wilt wouldn't compete as hard against a friend, so he would invite Wilt over for dinner when they came to town, and go to Wilt's house when they lived there. Read a lot of older books about this time period, and they always talked about this aspect, but it has been glossed over since Wilt's death. Since there has been so much Wilt hate in this thread, its worth pointing out: 1- He averaged 28 points and rebounds per game head to head against Russell in 142 games, and held Russ to 23 and 14... 2- Rules were changed to stop Wilt from dominating. The lane was widened 4 feet to get him further away from the basket. They outlawed dunking free throws...and yes, you read that right, He could broad jump dunk free throws. They outlawed throwing the ball inbounds over the top of the backboard...he would just stand under the rim, outjump everyone and dunk the inbounds pass. Teams would put up chicken wire behind the backboard to stop those inbounds lobs to Wilt. 3- Wilt averaged 4.4 assists for his career, led the league once in that category and was second once...in addition to all the other gaudy stats. 100 points in a game, 55 rebounds in a game, 50 ppg in a season that he averaged OVER 48 minutes per game. 4- Amazing athlete. At Kansas, he ran the 100, triplejumped, shotputted and high jumped...and won the conference high jump. Fast and strong, too...Bob Lanier, a behemoth of a man himself, recollected being picked up and moved like a coffee cup by Wilt. 5- 2nd all time to Kareem in Win Shares....drops to 4th if you look at Win Shares per 48. Oh, but he sucked in the playoffs? Still number 6 all time, Russell is at 9... 6- career number, insane as they are, would be even higher if not for the fact that he played a year with the Globetrotters before going to the NBA. I could go on...I think Wilt is the greatest player of all time, but not the greatest winner of all time. He was a flawed human in some ways, but one heck of a ballplayer. He was Superman, but had the bad luck to be playing at the same time as the team who had his Kryptonite...like Stockton and Malone had the misfortune to be playing when Jordan and Pippen were rolling. "The first time we played, I realized he was bigger, stronger, faster, quicker, more athletic than me, so it was going to take some kind of plan just to survive. Later on there was the night that he set the NBA record by getting 55 rebounds against us. As we used to say back then about the Houston police: He was kicking asses and taking names. And you know he did that a lot." Bill Russell on Wilt.

  • Murray Howe

    **My First Impressions** In all the books I've read on training systems, they've all fallen short on helping the true intermediate powerlifter. Most are geared towards either a beginner or advanced lifter. This book is not the same. I'll start with the things I like. If you want to, you can just jump into this program with the templates being on the first few pages instead of buried under a bunch of technique discussion. If you're a true intermediate, you already know how to lift and don't need all of that. Another positive for me is that Ben focuses more on the mental side of things than the physical. Again, that recognition of the lifter knowing how to lift is refreshing. Pretty much every book will talk about the importance of keeping a log, but I haven't really found one that actually teaches how to use your log to customize your training. The program is very bare-bones and specific. Instead of a bunch of fluff work that many other methods pile on, Ben cuts out the crap and focuses on movements that make you strong. It is a true powerlifting book, not a powerbuilding or general sports system. Fatigue management is awesome. Though you will be training hard and with decent frequency on squats and bench, Ben sets up his system to keep you moving instead of grinding. Deloads are discussed very briefly. Where most books will simply talk about "listening to your body," Ben teaches the signs to look for and emphasizes that you shouldn't have to take a deload with any kind of regularity instead of a hard and fast schedule. Definitely points for that in my book. Probably my least favorite part of the book was going over technique, but I also understand and appreciate reiterating how to perform the lifts. Everyone has a different way of doing things and there is always something to learn. Even though proper form is discussed, Ben makes a point to remind the reader that form is very individual and that "Perfect Form" should not be obsessed over, so points for that. Overall, I'm very pleased with my purchase. I feel confident going forward in my own programming with the tools Ben has provided. I give this an "A" and recommend you pick it up.

  • Tomas Gutmann

    Harold held the book down with one scarred hand and used the gnarled fingers of his other to brush through the yellowed pages. He had read it several times already, leaving the corners of pages slightly worn, several smudges in the lettering, and the spine with valleys from being folded over. Each time rereading it reminded him of what it must be like to catch up with an old friend. Often, he assumed, the same stories and jokes would be exchanged for the hundredth time, but the laughs would still be real and the memories would flood back. He imagined the warmth it would bring. He knew it only from the descriptions in his beloved books. He had been born less than human. He was missing several fingers on his right hand, and toes were gone on both feet. One leg was several inches shorter than the other and his shoulders sat slightly askew. His eyes never looked straight ahead and they bulged slightly outward. In short, he was a terrible sight to behold. This was a fact his father had often reminded him of during the beatings. The townspeople had been no more of a comfort to him in youth. He was often heckled as he waddled down the dirt roads, and occasionally even the children got the nerve up to throw objects at the "monster from atop the hill." He did not blame the children for their transgressions; they were only doing as their parents had taught them. They had taught them fear and intolerance, something that would no doubt be handed down again to the next generation, eventually becoming as valuable as any family heirloom. His mother had been kind enough to buy him books in town so that he would not have to face the ridicule. Once she had passed, he had been forced to make the trek into the bookstore along the muddied roads. His new friends were worth the ridicule he endured each and every time. The sun was waning in the sky as he looked out the window. Dusk was settling in and the loneliness of the night would be soon to follow. Harold started lighting candles, hoping their soft light would illuminate the pages enough to keep the emptiness at bay.

  • Albin Hettinger

    >Three countries. That is all. Three countries. Three? lol. Holy shit get a grip on reality. That's an incredibly ignorant statement. Period. You've declared your ignorance on this subject. I can name a dozen right now. God damn why would you make a statement like that when you are so obviously clueless?? Oh...I get it. You're a millennial who doesn't read books...Essentially you're Narcissus. Got it. >With Brexit, almost half of the population rejects it. Over half the population DIDN'T reject it. They voted LEAVE. That's how a referendum works...see it's kinda like Democracy. You know that silly little system where citizens get to vote on the future of their OWN nation. The nation which their ancestors bled and died for so that they could be free from upper classed privileged little piss stained, virtue-signaling, worthless pieces of shit like you? >Even if it goes through, Britain must secure its relationship with its trade partners. They cannot escape from the global economy. How fucking absent minded are you? NOW, Britain gets to make trade deals which benefit BRITAINS. You think that the UK is going to lose out on trade because of this? HAHAHAHAHA YOU IDIOT!. Guess what (((Bernie Madoff))), the low skill - low iq - low wage - global economy needs BRITAIN. Britain doesn't NEED the global economy. >With Trump, actually the man lost the popular vote but still won because muh election system. Wow, that's an incredible breakdown of how MY political system works. You ignorant foreigner. Fuck off and worry about your own country. Free gibs from America are going to decline. >Le Pen, not the strongest in the polls and unlikely to win. CNN polls projected Hillary had a 95% chance of winning. Excuse me if I don't hold my breath while you look like an idiot AGAIN. >These things are not the representation of a antiglobalization movement. Yeah we get it; you're for globalism. Because being around Whites means your kind is better off. Well we reject you. Fix your own fucked up country. Stay away from ours.

  • Shea Hodkiewicz

    For me as a teen, I had some internalised misogyny along the lines of "boy stuff is better" despite being very into feminine stuff (dancing, baking, dresses) and most of my friends being girls. I always daydreamed about being into sports, or skateboarding. I'd even try watch rugby with my Dad but could never fully get my head around the rules and I found it boring. I also cared a lot about how I wanted to appear to others. At university I'd dress feminine and go read my book on a lawn at university, always hoping a cute boy would see me and want to come talk to me because of it. I work red lipstick to class. I daydreamed about being sophisticated and elegant and got into overdraft buying expensive red lipstick, a pair of leather heels with a rose on them, and lace dresses. I read *Women in Love* and they talked about their brightly coloured silk stockings so I bought plum and maroon stockings. I wore fake pearls, a red rose ring, and sparkly earrings. I went to art gallaries. All because it fit into how I wanted to be seen. I thought interests = personality, to an extent, so I was always looking to be more well-read, and find indie music and films, and when I wanted to impress someone I'd talk about my favourites. I went to bars where hipsters hung out, even though I didn't know or like the music playing, because that's the kind of guy I thought I wanted. It took until I was about 24 or 25 to realise that you should just like what you like, and not care how you are perceived. I don't like rugby, so I won't watch. I don't like the majority of art in galleries so I don't go. I don't find the classics that interesting, so I read modern books. I like pop music and musical theatre and don't feel any real need to seek out new music cause I'm not that interested in it. I dress for comfort a lot more, and don't think about portraying a certain image to others. I go to work without makeup but get dolled up for a night out. I know that my personality is more than just my interests and pride myself more on my ability to be silly, crack jokes, and talk about my passions than on which movies I've seen.

  • Junius Halvorson

    I can't either. I do like her character a lot and the actress too (all the Hastings, really, are gold). I used to think A targeted everyone and messaged them for the hell of it and they all collectively assumed it was Alison's old friends because of their reputations around town. I can't believe how glossed over Melissa nearly killing Aria was. I wonder if that was a shot to Ezra, who did that bogus 'I ran alongside the tracks and hopped on a train that's an active crime scene to get to you' and had this arrested look on his face while hugging Aria.Like maybe not everything is executed by one person, but A manipulates the hell out of it. True. I wish Noel had a good reason for going after the Liars? He seemed to hitch onto Jenna's joyride of grudges. That's an interesting fact about Charlotte liking to change names. Yes, in the books A's boyfriend is a guy named Nick Maxwell that passes himself off as a drug dealer, best friend, indulgent bartender, and art thief/love interest (Spencer, Emily, Hanna, and Aria respectively.) It was a little absurd, but fun. He inherited Ali's intense grudge against them and reminds me a lot of Noel on the show, someone that threw their weight around/killed people. (If we're going by Noel killed Sara.) I like those options for AD best. I also like Mona being AD again, because like Melissa, she's kind of a fun suspect for me. Everyone else is either obvious or dead or not relevant after the time jump. That would be nice, I could accept Mary as BW. I've seen some speculation before that Alison based Vivian Darkbloom off a real person. I know her friends thought Melissa and Jenna back in season two, but I thought maybe Aria since Ali seemed to borrow her personality for Vivian/that summer. But more recently, people have suggested Ali somehow knew about Mary Drake and based Vivian off her. What do you think?

  • Sven Gutkowski

    I think episodes like "Rumspringa" and "Young Adult" would have worked better in the first half of S6. Right now they're just friends. That's it. Not anywhere close enough to a reunion. It feels kind of lopsided to me. Nick was only selfless in "Rumspringa." In "Young Adult" he ended up making it about his book and he was only sorry after the fact so that kind of diminished the gesture at the end of the episode for me. I think the misstep was making Nick still be oblivious after "Glue." She spent hours gluing books together with you, dude. Come on! "Rumspringa" and "Young Adult" were actually a downgrade for me. Nick should have felt an unresolved something for her after "Glue." Nick and Jess don't feel like best friends to me anymore. For Nick, I would put Jess on par with Schmidt or Winston in terms of friendship. I don't think he's closer to them than any of his other friends. It doesn't feel like she's someone he's going to fall back in love with any time soon. There isn't a strong reason for him to. He's moved on. For all intents and purposes, things are going great with Reagan. They have their problems but nothing I would define as relationship-ending, although I know the writers have that planned. I've been following spoilers from someone who has been on set and the info is: [Nick breaks up with Reagan. It's one-sided from his side. This info did surprise me because I thought it was going to be mutual but evidently the writers never write in a payoff for Reagan's earlier characteristic of being "perceptive." Show is still on the bubble so not sure if there will be an S7 but I think the S6 ending will keep a Nick/Jess reunion ambiguous in case there is.](/spoiler)

  • Virginia Von

    I love looking at video games like high art. There's just as much room for analysis in a video game as there is for any other medium. For me, games like Halo: Reach stand out because the diverse environments and gameplay really provide a unique immersion into the story. Gun fights, tank fights, spaceship battles, jumping from building to building on jetpacks... there's all sorts of ways that the gameplay interacts with/builds the narrative. Then you have things like Destiny (I like Bungie) that kind of shit the bed when it comes to the actual story, but as a result, the userbase has become extremely tied to the memories that they formed with their friends while completing raids. Yes, there's a bit of story there, but most players' memories are filled with late nights with 5 of their friends diving into the Vault of Glass. What's really in there? Some space robots unstuck from time that we all destroyed. That isn't important to me. What was important was the process of figuring out how the hell to get through the damn thing. It's a very 'extratextual' (???) experience, and while I don't think video games are going to kill books (like film didn't), they are nonetheless an important shift in the evolution of how stories are formed, told, and valued by both artists and 'reader'. To deny them that is just being grumpy. Destiny is pretty grind-heavy (doing the same activity over and over again to get loot), and it dives into 'metafiction' territory by making references to that structure ("They lock this door EVERY. SINGLE. TIME." "We'll kill Omnigul as many times as it takes...").

  • Jess Heidenreich

    I saw the writing on the wall a long time ago and I was lucky enough to get out. STILL though around 10 years ago, my friends who stayed were all optimistic. "Country just needs time to adjust". Then came the electricity bill spikes (if you remember those), and complain they would, but "ag it's just one of those things, we have the ocean!". "No country is as beautiful as South Africa". I recall all the jokes about the crime, comparing the place to the wild west. South Africans have a certain disconnect with violence and crime. Although many see it or come close to it first hand, many too only hear about it and don't (yet) have true first hand experience of it. I know one girl who claimed she was hijacked 4 times, including being tied up naked (but not raped), and yet still didn't see any urgency to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS COUNTRY NOW. And so it was with my friends, after the bills went up, electricity started going off. Unprepared and without warning and yet they still found ways to see the positive in the country, this was after all a temporary thing. Then came the severe load shedding and that too was "an opportunity to read books by candlelight, how romantic!" My point is, it's a white South African trait, to be positive about one's situation. But I see it as a kind of idiotic stubbornness. I'm saying for the love of God, the country has gone to the dogs, read the writing on the wall already. And yet many will say life in SA is better than in most countries and stop being a drama queen it's not that bad. So yeah. Gotta respect them, it's their lives. But to the OP, what is going on here is no more dramatic than the downfall of the country since the handover of the country to a black majority.

  • Aaliyah Wisoky

    One day we had a substitute teacher that for some reason or another didn't like me. And I had the desk closest to the teachers desk (because I was his favorite student not because I was a trouble maker.) So I was doing my thing. Working on my assignment and shaking my foot (because I have ADHD, I can't go two seconds without needing to have some kind of movement like shaking my foot, tapping my fingers or pencil, etc.). I was doing my assignment minding my own business and shaking my foot. She asked me to stop and I said "yes ma'am." (I was trying to get on her good side because I hate confrontation and conflict.) So I tried to stop for a couple of seconds but I couldn't so I tried quietly tapping my pencil. Once again she got on to me for it and told me to stop and I said "yes Ma'am." When I finished the assignment I quietly put my head down (because I was starting to get a headache) and she said "Get your head up!" I was starting to get annoyed and I just simply said "Yes Ma'am." So I started reading one of my books and started shaking my foot again and she said "I told you to stop that! You do realize I know your parents! Right!?" (Oh yeah did I mention this bitch was my older sister's former principal?) and me being fed up with her and said "Honey we live in M-vile! Everyone knows my parents!" She had a look of horror, the class for once was frozen in silence. And then the dismissal bell rang. I picked up my stuff and left the class. That was the day I finally defended myself from a teacher that disliked me. And I got out scotch free.

  • Adrienne Satterfield

    My favorite super hero from my childhood died a badass, but I cried like a bitch. One thing that hit me was how Logan never heard the moment Professor X began to understand why he couldn't have a peaceful life before being killed by X-24. Had they made Logan have some heartfelt advice to X-23 regarding family and friends. This could've been where he made some quick references to Jean Grey and Cyclops when talking about hardships in life, but that it's all worth it. But the ending scene did fuck me up, so I digress. Also, a YouTuber known as AngryJoeShow brought up a great moment of where we could've seen Hugh Jackman wear the iconic blue and yellow suit he has in the comics. It's where Logan carries Professor X up the stairs in the black families' home, and tucks him in as X-23 followed. At one point, we were given the viewpoint of X-23 looking through a small opening in the doorway, and this could've been where he has the suit on. Why? Well, she has to have been familiar with the X-men comic books since she carried a couple of them. Throughout the whole time prior to this scene, she saw Logan either pissed off or serious. But seeing him take care of Professor X could've help her realize that Logan is really kind-hearted. She would see him as the hero she thought he always was. This movie was fantastic. I'm sad that now Wolverine isn't just dead in comics, but also in film. Hits the heart. Now, I shall continue mourning lol.

  • Mia Von

    I've seen this recommended order a bunch, but I feel like it reveals a little too much about VFD too early on, with regards to TUA between EE and VV. That kind of solidifies it to being a secret organization, and creates too much interconnection too quickly( i.e. Lemony and Beatrice being directly involved in the story), where in the books that builds between books six and nine. I'm rereading the series now (just began VV) and it's easy to forget how little you knew about VFD for the first few books after the Quagmires first infamously said those initials. CC and SS are where this mystery becomes a little bit more clear. I think TUA does a good job building tension between the first nine and last four books, and the cliffhanger between nine and ten doesn't hurt. But that's just like, my opinion, man.

  • Irwin Bechtelar

    I am not going to forget this. Forgiveness ≠ forgetting. It is a major red flag, and I don't plan on getting back together with her anyway. Not unless our lives get much more stable, and we happen to run into each other at some point. I thank you for your kind words, and I'll be keeping it all in mind. I'd like to think of myself as an optimistic person, to the point that I'm sure some consider me a fool. I firmly believe that I, she, and everyone else will be okay, no matter what happens. People bounce back, it's what we do. I really like your analogy with our lives being books, with chapters. I like to think of things like that often, as well. It's also really ironic you called me Broski, one of my friends just recently started calling me that, and has that as my name in her phone, as a bit of a joke. I would like to agree with you that I'm open-minded, forgiving, and loyal, those are the things I strive for. There's always room for improvement, and that's my driving force. That's a huge reason why I appreciate people like you and the other commenter, you guys help drive me to be better, either it being through constructive criticism or positive feedback. I have to learn from my mistakes, and I plan to. Once again, thank you for your kind words, and I apologize for rambling, if I have, I do that quite often, and a lot of the time don't even recognize it 😝

  • Gavin Cormier

    >"Classical theism" The philosophical view of God held historically by most Christians, and built upon by Saint Thomas Aquinas. Now, many have switched to "theistic personalism" or the like, which I personally don't like. Ed Feser has some books on it (the Last Superstition, Aquinas, etc.) and a blog, and Bishop Barron on youtube has some good videos on it (see his videos on Aquinas, New Atheism, etc). >religion just never like their views questioned, Feel free to question our views, but just make sure to be kind and courteous while doing so. >If you're wrong you aren't excommunicated Excommunication is merely being told that what you are doing is not in line with Church teaching. It isn't a ban; on the contrary, it means we want you to come back.

  • Deven Schaden

    I didn't *blame* anything on Twitter. That being said, Twitter's limitations make it easier for the Internet to examine small snippets of things in a vacuum and judge those saying them without the benefit of context that other platforms can provide. So it's not necessarily Twitter's fault--I blame most of the Internet for their love affair with quick-grab headlines and short sighted judgement. You can look at 6-7 things NDT said on Twitter and scream all day about what a jackass he is. *Or* you can ignore that, and listen to interviews, watch YouTube videos, read his articles, and read his books. I don't personally judge people based on stupid Twitter shit. It's a fucking terrible way to get an idea of what kind of person someone is.

  • Yasmin Simonis

    Witcher 1 was kind of tedious and I wasn't into it. I played 2 either on normal or easy, I don't recall, but I had it so I didn't have to be too worried about prepping for every single fight. Three is REALLY good, though I can see there being slightly less awesome in it if you aren't familiar with the characters from 1 and 2, although there are plenty of times where it's clear Geralt knows someone and I don't, so presumably it's from the books.

  • Wilbert Stamm

    Donald Trump violated the civil rights act by refusing to rent homes to black people. * http://www.nytimes.com/times-insider/2015/07/30/1973-meet-donald-trump/ * http://new.www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/04/29/donald-trump-blacks-lawsuit_n_855553.html * http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/12/15/doj-trump-s-early-businesses-blocked-blacks.html * http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/09/07/the-death-and-life-of-atlantic-city Trump continues to refuse to rent homes to black people three years after Justice Department ruling on the matter sides against Trump. * http://www.nytimes.com/1978/03/07/archives/trump-charged-with-rental-bias.html * http://www.nytimes.com/1983/10/16/realestate/for-starrett-city-an-integration-test.html?scp=4&sq=trump+discrimination&st=nyt&pagewanted=all Trump orders blacks to leave casino floor whenever him or wife arrives on property. * http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/09/07/the-death-and-life-of-atlantic-city 1991 book written by Trump Plaza Hotel & Casino President quotes Trump as saying: “I’ve got black accountants at Trump Castle and Trump Plaza. Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes every day… . I think the guy is lazy. And it’s probably not his fault because laziness is a trait in blacks. It really is, I believe that. It’s not anything they can control.“ * http://articles.philly.com/1991-05-10/news/25795529_1_trump-associates-trump-s-atlantic-city-donald-trump Trump builds casino in black majority city and breaks promise to mayor about hiring locals, refrains to hire the minorities and opting to staff the casino with almost exclusively all Caucasian employees. * http://www.nydailynews.com/archives/money/trump-hit-race-suit-blacks-don-dealt-casino-jobs-article-1.726389 Trump responds to accusations of racism by hiring a former aid for Joseph McCarthy to sue the government for half a billion dollars. * http://www.salon.com/2011/04/28/donald_trump_discrimination_suit/ Trump keeps books of Hitler Speeches by his bed. * http://www.businessinsider.com/donald-trumps-ex-wife-once-said-he-kept-a-book-of-hitlers-speeches-by-his-bed-2015-8 * http://forward.com/the-assimilator/318664/trump-and-hitler/ * http://www.gq.com/story/donald-trump-hitler-speeches-book Trump refuses to cast black models. * http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3546047/Beauty-pageant-organizer-accused-Trump-unwanted-fondling-contestant-claimed-said-women-bimbos.html Trump Refuses to disavow Support from the Klu Klux Klan multiple times during interview only to change his mind later on twitter. * http://www.dailywire.com/news/3739/disgusting-trump-reverses-himself-refuses-disavow-ben-shapiro * https://www.yahoo.com/news/trump-kkk-cnn-tapper-154053871.html * http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/02/28/468455028/trump-wont-condemn-kkk-says-he-knows-nothing-about-white-supremacists * http://time.com/4240268/donald-trump-kkk-david-duke/ * http://www.politico.com/story/2016/02/david-duke-trump-219777 The KKK endorses Trump. * http://www.rawstory.com/2016/04/a-lot-of-what-he-believes-we-believe-kkk-grand-imperial-wizard-endorses-trump/ * http://www.snopes.com/2016/05/02/klan-leader-endorses-trump/ * http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2016/04/30/3774243/ku-klux-klan-imperial-wizard-endorses-donald-trump-for-president/ Trump Retweets message from Pro-Hitler, white genocide conspiracy Twitter account. * http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/trump-whitegenocidetm-retweet
 * http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/430201/donald-trump-retweets-white-genocide-twitter-user
 * http://www.timesofisrael.com/trump-retweets-white-genocide-account-based-in-jewmerica/
 * http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/donald-trump-retweets-neo-nazi-sympathizer-article-1.2506735
 Data Analysis shows 62% of the people Trump Retweeted on the week of January 19th 2016 were white supremacist accounts. * http://www.getlittlebird.com/blog/data-62-of-the-people-donald-trump-rted-this-week-follow-multiple-white-supremacist-accounts Trump picks famed White Supremacist Leader as Delegate. * http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/05/donald-trump-white-nationalist-afp-delegate-california
 * http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/45928_Donald_Trump_Picks_Well-Known_White_Nationalist_Leader_as_a_Delegate_in_California
 * http://www.nationalmemo.com/trump-picks-white-nationalist-leader-as-delegate/
 Trumps son gives interview with Holocaust denying radio show host who wants too bring back slavery. * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Political_Cesspool#Donald_Trump_Jr._interview
 * http://www.politico.com/blogs/2016-gop-primary-live-updates-and-results/2016/03/donald-trump-son-pro-slavery-host-interview-220120?lo=ap_c1
 * http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/presidential-races/271501-trump-grants-press-credentials-to-pro-white-radio-show
 Trump gives Press credentials to aforementioned radio host. * http://www.nationalmemo.com/donald-trump-gives-interview-pres-credentials-to-white-supremacist/ Trump discriminated against Native-Americans as well. * http://www.courant.com/business/dan-haar/hc-haar-donald-trump-connecticut-indians-weicker-20150810-column.html Six former contestants of The Apprentice blast Trump as a racist and sexist. * http://www.nbcnews.com/news/nbcblk/former-apprentice-contestants-denounce-donald-trump-s-candidacy-n556306 Trumps father was arrested for attacking police officers at K.K.K rally. * http://boingboing.net/2015/09/09/1927-news-report-donald-trump.html
 * http://addictinginfo.org/2015/09/09/donald-trumps-dad-was-arrested-during-kkk-rally-that-attacked-two-police-officers/
 * http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/fred-trump-arrest-1927-kkk
 Public Policy Polling polls Trump supporters and discovers: 60% Support banning Muslims from entering the United States 50% Support the Confederate flag hanging on the capital grounds 30% Support shutting down all mosques in the United States 30% Wish the South won the civil war 25% Islam should be illegal in the United States 25% Support the policy of Japanese Internment 20% Support banning homosexuals from entering the United States 10% Say Whites are a superior race (11% aren’t sure one way or another) * http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/pdf/2015/PPP_Release_SC_21616.pdf
 * http://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/davidbadash/one_out_of_three_trump_voters_in_sc_would_ban_gays_from_entering_the_u_s
 * http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2016/02/guess-how-many-donald-trump-supporters-want-gay-people-barred-from-entering-america/
 Trump refuses to condemn violence against muslims and African-Americans committed by his supporters. * http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-election-idUSKCN0WM0RJ * http://www.japantoday.com/category/world/view/trump-refuses-to-condemn-violence-at-his-rallies The Economist polls Trump supporters and discovers: 15% disapprove of slavery being abolished - (Another 20% aren’t sure one way or another) 50% support the use of torture on foreign enemy combatants - (Another 25% aren’t sure one way or another) * https://d25d2506sfb94s.cloudfront.net/cumulus_uploads/document/ctucuikdsj/econToplines.pdf
 * http://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/25/upshot/measuring-donald-trumps-supporters-for-intolerance.html?smid=tw-share&_r=2
 * http://time.com/4236640/donald-trump-racist-supporters/
 80% of Trump supporters claim to have no problem with racist comments. * http://www.politicususa.com/2016/06/12/8o-percent-gop-voters-trumps-racist-comments-totally-fine.html Trump falsely claims 4 out of 5 white people who were victims of homicide were murdered by blacks. * http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2015/nov/23/donald-trump/trump-tweet-blacks-white-homicide-victims/ Trump believes that Mexicans are rapist by default. * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yi33KkhKRWs * https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/fact-checker/wp/2015/07/08/donald-trumps-false-comments-connecting-mexican-immigrants-and-crime/ Trump tweeted an anti-semitic tweet litkely despicting Hillary jewish. * http://www.politico.com/story/2016/07/donald-trump-hillary-clinton-star-david-225058?cmpid=sf * https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/749239879645687808 * https://mic.com/articles/147711/donald-trump-s-star-of-david-hillary-clinton-meme-was-created-by-white-supremacists#.tfw8osmNX Trump retweets quote from Italian Dictator Benito Mussolini. * http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-35682844 * http://time.com/4240330/donald-trump-benito-mussolini-quote/ * http://www.nytimes.com/politics/first-draft/2016/02/28/donald-trump-retweets-post-likening-him-to-mussolini/ Trump uses picture of Nazi soldiers in official campaign poster. * https://news.vice.com/article/donald-trump-just-tweeted-and-deleted-a-picture-featuring-nazi-ss-soldiers?utm_source=vicenewstwitter * https://i.imgur.com/JDqBCXd.jpg

  • Joanie Mitchell

    Hi! As we hope you can appreciate, the Holocaust can be a fraught subject to deal with. While don't want to curtail discussion, we also remain very conscious that threads of this nature can attract the very wrong kind of responses, and it is an unfortunate truth that on reddit, outright Holocaust denial can often rear its ugly head. As such, the /r/History mods have created this brief overview that addresses common questions, and included a short list of introductory reading. It is not intended to stifle further discussion, but simply lay out the basic, incontrovertible truths to get them out of the way. ##What Was the Holocaust? The Holocaust refers the genocidal deaths of 5-6 million European Jews carried out systematically by Nazi Germany as part of targeted policies of persecution and extermination during World War II. Some historians will also include the deaths of the Roma, Communists, Mentally Disabled, and other groups targeted by Nazi policies, which brings the total number of deaths to ~11 million. Debates about whether or not the Holocaust includes these deaths or not is a matter of definitions, but in no way a reflection on dispute that they occurred. ##But This Guy Says Otherwise! Unfortunately, there is a small, but at times vocal, minority of persons who fall into the category of Holocaust Denial, attempting to minimize the deaths by orders of magnitude, impugn well proven facts, or even claim that the Holocaust is entirely a fabrication and never happened. Although they often self-style themselves as "Revisionists", they are not correctly described by the title. While revisionism is not inherently a dirty word, actual revision, to quote Michael Shermer, *"entails refinement of detailed knowledge about events, rarely complete denial of the events themselves, and certainly not denial of the cumulation of events known as the Holocaust."* It is absolutely true that were you to read a book written in 1950 or so, you would find information which any decent scholar today might reject, and that is the result of good revisionism. But these changes, which even can be quite large, such as the reassessment of deaths at Auschwitz from ~4 million to ~1 million, are done within the bounds of respected, academic study, and reflect decades of work that builds upon the work of previous scholars, and certainly does not willfully disregard documented evidence and recollections. There are still plenty of questions within Holocaust Studies that are debated by scholars, and there may still be more out there for us to discover, and revise, but when it comes to the basic facts, there is simply no valid argument against them. ##So What Are the Basics? Beginning with their rise to power in the 1930s, the Nazi Party, headed by Adolf Hitler, implemented a series of anti-Jewish policies within Germany, marginalizing Jews within society more and more, stripping them of their wealth, livelihoods, and their dignity. With the invasion of Poland in 1939, the number of Jews under Nazi control reached into the millions, and this number would again increase with the invasion of the Soviet Union in 1941. Shortly after the invasion of Poland, the Germans started to confine the Jewish population into squalid ghettos. After several plans on how to rid Europe of the Jews that all proved unfeasible, by the time of the invasion of the Soviet Union in 1941, ideological (Antisemitism) and pragmatic (Resources) considerations lead to mass-killings becoming the only viable option in the minds of the Nazi leadership. First only practiced in the USSR, it was influential groups such as the SS and the administration of the General Government that pushed to expand the killing operations to all of Europe and sometime at the end of 1941 met with Hitler’s approval. The early killings were carried out foremost by the *Einsatzgruppen*, paramilitary groups organized under the aegis of the SS and tasked with carrying out the mass killings of Jews, Communists, and other 'undesirable elements' in the wake of the German military's advance. In what is often termed the 'Holocaust by Bullet', the *Einsatzgruppen*, with the assistance of the Wehrmacht, the SD, the Security Police, as well as local collaborators, would kill roughly two million persons, over half of them Jews. Most killings were carried out with mass shootings, but other methods such as gas vans - intended to spare the killers the trauma of shooting so many persons day after day - were utilized too. By early 1942, the "Final Solution" to the so-called "Jewish Question" was essentially finalized at the Wannsee Conference under the direction of Reinhard Heydrich, where the plan to eliminate the Jewish population of Europe using a series of extermination camps set up in occupied Poland was presented and met with approval. Construction of extermination camps had already begun the previous fall, and mass extermination, mostly as part of 'Operation Reinhard', had began operation by spring of 1942. Roughly 2 million persons, nearly all Jewish men, women, and children, were immediately gassed upon arrival at Bełżec, Sobibór, and Treblinka over the next two years, when these "Reinhard" camps were closed and razed. More victims would meet their fate in additional extermination camps such as Chełmno, but most infamously at Auschwitz-Birkenau, where slightly over 1 million persons, mostly Jews, died. Under the plan set forth at Wannsee, exterminations were hardly limited to the Jews of Poland, but rather Jews from all over Europe were rounded up and sent east by rail like cattle to the slaughter. Although the victims of the Reinhard Camps were originally buried, they would later be exhumed and cremated, and cremation of the victims was normal procedure at later camps such as Auschwitz. ##The Camps There were two main types of camps run by Nazi Germany, which is sometimes a source of confusion. Concentration Camps were well known means of extrajudicial control implemented by the Nazis shortly after taking power, beginning with the construction of Dachau in 1933. Political opponents of all type, not just Jews, could find themselves imprisoned in these camps during the pre-war years, and while conditions were often brutal and squalid, and numerous deaths did occur from mistreatment, they were not usually a death sentence and the population fluctuated greatly. Although Concentration Camps *were* later made part of the 'Final Solution', their purpose was not as immediate extermination centers. Some were 'way stations', and others were work camps, where Germany intended to eke out every last bit of productivity from them through what was known as "extermination through labor". Jews and other undesirable elements, if deemed healthy enough to work, could find themselves spared for a time and "allowed" to toil away like slaves until their usefulness was at an end. Although some Concentration Camps, such as Mauthausen, did include small gas chambers, mass gassing was not the primary purpose of the camp. Many camps, becoming extremely overcrowded, nevertheless resulted in the deaths of tens of thousands of inhabitants due to the outbreak of diseases such as typhus, or starvation, all of which the camp administrations did little to prevent. Bergen-Belsen, which was not a work camp but rather served as something of a way station for prisoners of the camp systems being moved about, is perhaps one of the most infamous of camps on this count, saw some 50,000 deaths caused by the conditions. Often located in the Reich, camps liberated by the Western forces were exclusively Concentration Camps, and many survivor testimonies come from these camps. The Concentration Camps are contrasted with the Extermination Camps, which were purpose built for mass killing, with large gas chambers and later on, crematoria, but little or no facilities for inmates. Often they were disguised with false facades to lull the new arrivals into a false sense of security, even though rumors were of course rife for the fate that awaited the deportees. Almost all arrivals were killed upon arrival at these camps, and in many cases the number of survivors numbered in the single digits, such as at Bełżec, where only seven Jews, forced to assist in operation of the camp, were alive after the war. Several camps, however, were 'Hybrids' of both types, the most famous being Auschwitz, which was vast a complex of subcamps. The infamous 'selection' of prisoners, conducted by SS doctors upon arrival, meant life or death, with those deemed unsuited for labor immediately gassed and the more healthy and robust given at least temporary reprieve. The death count at Auschwitz numbered around 1 million, but it is also the source of many survivor testimonies. ##How Do We Know? Running through the evidence piece by piece would take more space than we have here, but suffice to say, there is a lot of evidence, and not just the (mountains of) survivor testimony. We have testimonies and writings from many who participated, as well German documentation of the programs. [This site](http://holocaustcontroversies.blogspot.de/2012/10/index-of-published-evidence-on.html) catalogs some of the evidence we have for mass extermination as it relates to Auschwitz. I'll close this out with a short list of excellent works that should help to introduce you to various aspects of Holocaust study. ##Further Reading * "[Third Reich Trilogy](https://books.google.com/books?id=HZmXOPGTGjIC)" by Richard Evans * "[Hitler, the Germans, and the Final Solution](https://books.google.com/books?id=Z7FiPwAACAAJ)" by Ian Kershaw * "[Auschwitz: A New History](https://books.google.com/books?id=bx-dZEV228QC)" by Laurence Rees * "[Ordinary Men](https://books.google.com/books?id=HFB-dkuZzSwC)" by Christopher Browning * "[Denying History](https://books.google.com/books?id=Q-0B9-D5Vz4C)" by Michael Shermer and Alex Grobman * [The Minutes from the Wannsee Conference](http://www.holocaustresearchp

  • Carlie Nicolas

    **Jonwayne** [artist pic](https://lastfm-img2.akamaized.net/i/u/252/6794f92b96834c458e7c82cc76a680b1.png) > Jonwayne is an incredibly prolific up-and-coming producer and emcee from La Habra, California associated with the Low End Theory, the Wedidit Collective and Stones Throw Records. > Meet Jonwayne, a baby-faced white kid from the LA suburb of La Habra, who's been a fixture at Low End Theory long before he was old enough to drink. The 21 year-old rapper/producer got his start early, writing his first raps and recording his first beats while still in high school. Back then, he was a football-playing poetry-writing theater geek. The football part made sense; both his older brothers were varsity players, and their coaches knew him since he was a kid. But by the end of his sophomore year, the allure of jockstraps and pushups had waned, and Jonwayne (then still known as Jon Wayne) removed himself from the roster. > Fearful that they had a slacker son on their hands, his parents presented Jon with two options: find a job, or get some kind of productive hobby. The choice was easy—he got involved with the theater program at his school and attended the Young Artists Workshop, where he discovered a love of spoken word performance. Around the same time, he found his poetic muse; a girl he had a crush on was into poetry, and he wanted to impress her. "I was having all kinds of frustrating problems with raging hormones and trying to express myself. I was a mess," he says. "So [writing poetry] was really helpful. It wasn't necessarily a ruse—it just started as this half-assed thing and then it turned into something that I did really heavily for the next few years." > Writing turned to rapping at the age of 17, when a crew from West Covina at the Young Artists Workshop made an impression on him. Every day they'd bring over a workstation to make beats and Wayne would listen to them rap. "I was kinda tagging along, being the token white kid of the group, because, you know they needed one of those guys in there," he says, recalling how they'd encourage him to start rapping. "I started developing a style, but I wasn't comfortable recording it because they all had a certain aesthetic, and they pushed a certain vibe on everyone." After saving up enough cash to buy a cheap microphone, he left the group and started recording on his own. "I was kinda feeling like I was going somewhere else." > That somewhere else turned out to be Low End Theory, where he found a community of more like-minded artists such as dublab and Low End Theory-affiliated Kutmah. Wayne remembers the night they met very clearly: it was in early 2009, and the night's guests were Dibiase, Devonwho and Mono/Poly—a lineup that can easily draw a line stretching around the block in 2012, but which still allowed for some elbow room on the dance floor at the time. Dibia$e, Wayne's friend and mentor, encouraged him to bring a stack of CDs of his beats and hand them out to select tastemakers in the crowd—including Kutmah. > "Dibiase was like, 'You need to give him something.' So I did, even though I didn't know who he was at the time. He said he wanted to give me something too. He gave me this Sacred Geometry Mix and that was it! He was the first person to ever put me on." Kutmah was working at Poo-Bah Records at the time, and he started playing Wayne's CD there. DJ Nobody—Low End curator and fellow Poo-Bah employee—took notice and asked him for some more beats. After passing along his latest work, Nobody started playing them out during his sets. Soon after, Wayne booked his first Low End gig, becoming one of the youngest artists to grace its tiny stage. > "Elvin [DJ Nobody] had heard my music before, but it wasn't until he heard me rap for Dibia$e that he was like, 'Oh, OK—let's do this,'" he recalls. He invited Wayne over to his house to put together a set. Wayne brought over five CDs worth of material, and after spending a day sorting through the tracks, 30 beats made it onto his 404. "Elvin helped create it. He knew what would work there, so he picked out my set for me … you gotta be inducted into the family, and they took me in." > On the night of his Low End debut, it was pouring rain outside, and it was the first and last time he can remember ever being nervous before a show. "I had envisioned that night for a long time—it'll be packed, I'll subject these people to my shit for half-an-hour and it'll be dope. And then it started raining, and I was like, 'Ah, fuck. This is my one chance and it's not gonna go like I expected.' I didn't want to fuck up. Two hours before go time, I told Elvin, 'I don't think I can do this shit.' I thought it would be awful." > The rain had thinned out the crowd from its normal sweat-soaked, sardine-packed population of beat obsessives. But Wayne found himself rising to the challenge, transformed, swept away with his audience like the water guzzling through the venue's outside patio. "I can safely say it changed the course of my life. I think it was one of Elvin and Kevin's first experiences seeing the next generation—kids taking what they were doing and absorbing their aesthetic and building on it." > Wayne's second big break came shortly thereafter. Early one morning in May 2010, Kutmah woke up to the sound of police knocking at his door. He immediately knew what was going on; born and raised in Brighton, England and brought to Los Angeles at age 12, Kutmah lacked legal-residency status, and it was only a matter of time before someone noticed. Within minutes, he was handcuffed and detained by Department of Homeland Security authorities for failing to honor a voluntary deportation notice that he had signed over a decade earlier. > While he was locked up in a high security prison in New Mexico awaiting deportation, a furious local effort amassed to raise money for his mounting legal fees and raise awareness about the case. About two months in, as deportation loomed, Kutmah asked Wayne to host a benefit show produced by screen-printing collective Hit+Run. He had never performed at a Hit+Run event before—they didn't even really know who he was at the time—but they added him to the night's stacked lineup, which featured Stones Throw's giants like resident funkmaster Dam-Funk, smooth soul crooner Mayer Hawthorne and founding father Peanut Butter Wolf. > "For him to ask me to host, that was a big thing. For me to have the opportunity to share the stage with all these people that I admired and wanted to work with, that was great. I secretly think he knew that would be a great situation for me to be in." > During Dam-Funk's set, Wayne finally caught up with Stones Throw Records label head Wolf, a man he'd been chasing since the days of MySpace. "When I first started making music, the Stones Throw library—the funky, soulful aesthetic—was a very loud template for me," Wayne says. "My music was very derivative at first but then I started to find my voice and ended up going away from them and, in the process, attracted Stones Throw to me." He inked a three-album deal with the label this past January, shortly after his 21st birthday. > Before joining the Stones Throw family, Wayne already had a recording system nailed down: he used to drag a synthesizer, his 404 and some turntables into the bathroom and set up shop: the "synthesizer sits on top of pulled-out drawers, 404 goes on one side of the sink and a turntable goes on the other side." Any extra gear ended up on stacks of books. Wayne would sit in the bathroom composing tracks and beats, his eight-track resting on a trash can beside him, escaping to his bedroom when he needed inspiration for his rap lyrics. It was in the bathroom that he produced what later became his Alpha Pup debut, Bowser, a collection of sample-free beats blending the Warp Records' distinct brand of IDM with video game-influenced melodies. Deeper, darker instrumentals followed with his sophomore album The Death of Andrew, released on Alpha Pup late last year, along with several essential, self-released mixtapes. > The success of Bowser allowed Wayne to graduate from his commode. He now works out of the Stones Throw headquarters in Highland Park, in a studio he helped build with Peanut Butter Wolf and close friend/collaborator Jonti, a fellow Stones Throw signee. At last, Jonwayne finally ended up where he was always meant to be: right next to the ever-elusive, always-brilliant producer Madlib, on the roster of one of the most innovative hip-hop labels in the world. > "I had dreamed for years about coming here and meeting these people and seeing where it all started, [but] as a visitor... rather than a welcomed guest! It goes to show that if you want to grab someone's attention, you literally have to take them by the collar and be like, 'You're fucking listening to me now.' There's no other way." > Releases: Jonwayne released his debut instrumental album Bowser on Alpha Pup Records on April 19, 2011, the mixtape How Stella Got Her Groove Back in July 2011, the compilation mixtape Thanks, Bro in August 2011, and the mixtape I Don't Care through Wedidit in September 2011. Jonwayne released his second proper album, The Death of Andrew, on October 25, 2011 on Alpha Pup Records. Shortly afterwards he signed to Stones Throw Records, on which he released the beat tape Oodles of Doodles in March 2012. Later that same month, he self-released a mixtape titled This Is False. He released a mixtape titled Jonwayne Fucks Disney on May 29, 2012. Most recently he released Casette (a limited edition 24-minute rap tape available only on casette) through Stones Throw on July 31, 2012. Read more on Last.fm. [last.fm](https://www.last.fm/music/Jonwayne): 54,545 listeners, 1,179,045 plays tags: *Hip-Hop, electronic, experimental, instrumental hip-hop, wonky* ^^Please ^^downvote ^^if ^^incorrect! ^^Self-deletes ^^if ^^score ^^is ^^0.

  • Elenor Beahan

    Let's analyze this situation. Sounds like you want to become great. You want to be written about in the history books. You want to be in the 1%. Those people who got there, they had talent. Their stuff was catchy and sometimes groundbreaking. This is kind of like looking at billionaires who have power and money to do whatever. Before they got started, they too were at the same level as you are now. They were losers at the bottom and others were billionaires. If they'd be like you, all discouraged about that fact, they wouldn't bother trying to win. So something's different with them, and you. But both were at the bottom of the barrel before they did something then started winning. Right there, I can see a difference between them and you. They were just like you, but the difference was, even though they were losers at the bottom, they kept going for their goal and not quitting like you. So that's why they eventually won, and you may not. That's the first area you'd need to correct if you want to win. If you give up, you for sure will not win like those you compare yourself to and aspire to be like. That's the first thing you need to fix. You have to persevere even though you're losing. That's what they did, they kept on going even though they were at the bottom. Next thing. What did they do that got them on the road to winning. What is it you're not doing now that could make you eventually win. In this realm, the winning would be "people who have succeeded at being the 1%", in the music business. If you're looking at the pinnacle of them, that usually takes many years. You don't start out and are instantly great. Took a look at this page: List of Billboard Hot 100 chart achievements and milestones https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Billboard_Hot_100_chart_achievements_and_milestones Those are the 1% you're talking about. They all started at the bottom though. Before they made it big, and got a "lucky break", they were probably losers who were working crappy day jobs like the average public. Then something happened that made them win. Usually it's just that first hit song. But then you can get a one hit wonder that you never hear from again. This 1%, the difference with them is they keep getting hits. So you've got another level of success there. Now you're getting into what's the difference with entry level fame and this 1% that makes them great. This 1% isn't some flash in the pan pop star. Someone who, sure they have millions of views on youtube but they're just a footnote in the music history record books. To become this 1% you're talking about, that's longevity and repeated winning. How did they do that. Once you get in, then you keep going. The biggest hurdle is that initial break. Once you get that hit, or be someone behind the scenes who produces them, then others come calling to get you to work on their track. Keep doing that for years, then you become one of the greats. There's a difference here with winners and losers. These ones who become great, they keep going at it. They're persistent. They don't give up, like you're doing. Once you get a hit, keep trying to get another one. And they don't get all washed-up because of drugs. Looking at these names of people who were great in the music realm. Lots of times they come along and they're different than other bands at the time. This is the difference with them and whatever crap that's forgettable on the charts. Those sheep they follow the little guidebook of what they think you're supposed to do. The little formula and sound like everybody else. Who's going to be great next. What was great in the past and why. Music is all about the catchy groove, and rhythm. I don't have any of that. haha. But that's what it takes. Doesn't have to be complex either. Often times it's a simple melody. What would it take to be great these days. Well, if you sound like everybody else, odds are you won't get anywhere. What I think is if you can make "wow product", that when somebody hears it, and they go wow, then they'd tell their buddies and it would spread that way. Really would need to put craftsmanship into the product. Take advantage of how the digital medium can be improved over time. Keep fixing sections that sound bad. Test things out. Really have to go at this. Music is kind of stalled out in recent years. They're stuck with the same song structure formula since the 50's. Melody note combinations is like a well that's exhausted. Think of how music could evolve in the future. What areas would they be doing things with. Somebody would pioneer it there. This is where you'd use your imagination. If you just do like everybody else, it wouldn't be futuristic music like this. That's an area where somebody could be great. Make new wow music. You can do it with the digital tools and micro second precision. You could make music with sound effects and noises. Make melody instruments from noises which are pitch shifted in the same key as piano. Drums, why the same old drum kit at beat timing. Use noises. Those are a couple areas. Then you have the typical song structure of chorus and verse. People are bored with that. You could put unpredictable, interesting twists, turns and surprises into the arrangement. Soundcloud stinks because you see the waveform and spoils any surprises. Next, you have the video realm. If you watch movies with CGI, you'd go, well why bother. They have all kinds of people working together, and this is just you. If you do like you're doing here, and comparing yourself to the greats, you would never get started. So yeah it's gonna suck at the start but play around with video. Otherwise you'll never get going. I've tested stuff out. Doing my own thing. What you want to do, is get into an area where it's not really comparable to the movie studios. What I'm going at is abstract patterns and shapes. Then you could take anything, side bits from a screen. Stretch it out, do all kinds of things. I use this video denoise filter to smooth pixelization. Now copyright isn't recognizable. Then I stack layers and have them interact with things like multiply, subtract, difference, all those effects. Go into fast color corrector and crank up the saturation so it's not dull colors. Things are starting to get psychedelic. Export that, import it and mix it with other things. Get a camera and go film odd things zoom in, walk by something close where you can't really tell what it is. Now you're getting your own footage to do stuff with. In the video editor, I have multitrack audio instead of just one stereo mixdown. See where the noises are. Have visual things move with the beat timing or melody notes. Have all kinds of visual things going on with whatever's happening in the audio. It's better than just filming some idiot on a street like most of them do. So this is something. If you could try to pioneer music into the future, make wow product, that could make somebody great. The thing about who was great in the past, they probably didn't just do what others did. They make something different. Who was great with inventions, it was the first guy who did whatever. A lot of who was great in music they were the first to do things. These days, celebs usually got famous before the internet. Or famous people on TV, they got famous when people still used to watch network TV. Now everybody's lost in the shuffle. Very difficult to get famous these days. Well, who got famous back then, like audio pioneers. Some of those electronic guys. They were fiddling with gear back before computers. They kept going and tried to make some sort of catchy song with the rough gear they had. You'd need to do that with whatever gear you have these days. That's what I'm trying to get into with making my own melody instruments and noises at beat timing. Then this abstract video. One thing that it sounds like going on with you is running out of melody note combinations. I ran out of riffs 20 years ago. I've been borrowing public domain classical. At least I could keep going. Have instruments play those notes. Why harpsichord, test out distortion guitar and bass. Add drums to these notes. Then get into the substitution with noises as drums and my own melody instruments made from noises. A huge barrier was the addiction to distractions. That's all the crap you do during a day instead of working on music. Blew the 2000's decade with all that crap. I see some guys here talking about discipline, that's the area. I threw out the TV over half a decade ago. In the 90's and 2000's hung around with women. Always drama, wasting every bit of spare time you have left. So that got toned right down. What's your priority, the distractions, or do you want to at least give it a shot trying to be someone who can be great that could be written about in the history books. That ain't gonna happen watching sitcoms or every sports league your whole life. To be a creator you can't waste too much time being a fan. All those distractions, multiplayer video games. Surfing around the internet for cool stuff. Social networking. Hanging out with friends all the time. Perhaps it all needs to get toned right down. The stuff I play around with takes about a season for a track. This last one took 5 months. Nevermind a video on top of that. If I'm wasting time like I did in the 2000's, it'd be a year for an audio track. Wasn't wasted time though, but that's why I'm more disciplined these days, because of it. Just finished my first album, after four and half years. You never get discouraged about zero plays and followers. Those 'll come if you get something good. But you'll never get to that point if you quit because it all sucks and is difficult. You may need to think outside the box instead of being lost in the shuffle like everybody else. I don't know man.. but that's what I'm up to. Maybe have a better chance than an average schmuck who's like everybody else.

  • Beatrice Leuschke

    I've wanted to share this with you guys for quite some time... here goes. I just finished writing (I'm from the future!) I ramble for way too long, but I really needed to get this out of my system. Thanks. Ever since I was a child back in kindergarten and whatnot, I never fit in. Like never. And it's not because I was unique (I'm told I am but I don't really think so) or because I'm an evil warlord in the making. I just did not fit in. As many of you may know I live in Saudi, however my family is much more westernized than slit of the families here. I grew up with Led Zepplin, AC/DC, and Metallica. I was always building Lego sets or solving a puzzle with my amazing brother (if you're reading this, love you bro) who i didn't really start appreciating until last year when we actually sat down and talked about life. My childhood was quite literally based on Star Wars, everything I did was somehow connected to it. All my childhood friends were like that, but not to the extent I was. I was really weird (still am haha). So fast forward to Kindergarten, which was in a Saudi private school OUTSIDE my mainly western compound. It was a shock. I still remember asking everyone there about the nerdy shit that I liked, and getting weird looks back. That was alright though because we were still stupid kids. The problem begins around grade 4. So in my previous school, grade 4 was considered "upper" elementary, meaning that you would move to an entirely different section of the school, meaning a lot of new older faces. This is about the time you start comprehending the world around you and you start developing who you are. At the time I was still a a huge Star Wars fan, and I was listening to a lot of rock era Metallica as well as some classics. I would go around singing Smoke on the Water to people because it was something I enjoyed. But grade 4 was also the year I started getting introduced to bas people. At one point I was sitting at my desk drawing some shit on my notebook that was based on Zelda (which by the way, NO ONE played. I was one of the only people in my CITY that played Nintendo stuff. Today it's a lot more popular though), and this kid comes up to me, and he yells at me (in Arabic): "what kind of stupid shit are you drawing, fag?" Boom. Scarred for life. I never said these words and I barely knew what they meant; I only knew that they were the absolute worst thing that can be said. I started restraining my interests and loves every since then and I never talked to anyone about Nintendo, movies, or music. No one simply cared. People just saw me as that weird white kid (I was surrounded by saudis who were naturally browner in skin tone), and when I go back home I would teach myself how to sound, look, and act more Saudi. I was very westernized in terms of how I aced and spoke. I would go to the library during lunch time and rent books instead of hanging out with classmates; the librarian knew me personally, and the school's English education head (who was British) LOVED me, and I loved him. He encouraged me to participate in the ONE English play that goes on in school. But 4th, 5th and 6th grade aren't exactly my best moments. Hell I can't even remember what went on there. 7th grade. I took the entrance test for an international school that was for students who were stronger in English. I passed the test. I left my precious Saudi school and I came to this one, EVERYONE was like me! I was not the only weird white kid, there were other non saudis (originally from somewhere else at least) with me! The teachers were all non arabs as well. Alas no one listened to metal, but I found a dude who loved movies, which helped flourish my love for movies. We would discuss every single day during English class while the teacher was talking. But 7th grade was also when I started going back to music. At the time my older brother started exploring the realm of Lamb of God and Meshuggah and the like. I was mortified, but nonetheless I kept going. I had Metallica's entire library installed, so that's what I listened to. 8th grade I started dabbling in things like Megadeth and Anthrax, but no Slayer (too much!). Grade 9. Grade 9 is the worst year of my life for many different reasons, but the one thing that made grade 9 a good time for me was the music. During that year, it felt like everyone was turning on me and I had no where to go. I was depressed for the greater part of the year. All of my good friends either started floating away from my life or descended into some stupid shit (drugs, popularity, etc.). In class however, it was a different story. People started making fun of me for my English. Yes, my English. My classmates (80% of which are arabs) all thought my English was far too complicated for normal people. They told me I used long Words all the time and it was unnecessary. I used to read all the time as a kid (I still do sort of) so I'm blessed enough to be able to speak English properly. But my classmates thought that that was a really funny thing, the way I talked. They called me an "American" which really ain't bad, but in context it's considered bad (for some reason I don't understand). Before starting grade 9, I was starting to get into Lamb of God as well. Musically this is how that year went: the first half was me exploring limited bands like Megadeth and Lamb of God, with some swaying into bands like Amon Amarth and Slayer (not too much anymore!) as well as Anthrax. And then something magical happened. I subscribed to Apple Music. Up until that point I was buying every album I listened to because my parents were EXTREMELY anti piracy. I liked that since most of the community around me was pirating everything they see and all those anti piracy ads I saw in my childhood movies seemed to work. So Apple Music allowed me to download whatever I want whenever I want. And the world exploded. Suddenly this entire world of music opened up to me. While I still didn't go too deep into the genre, I was still exploring the mainstream stuff like Mastodon (whom I hated at first!), Testament, and Black Sabbath. It stayed like that for a long time where I only listened to some mainstream albums and I'd download once a week maybe, but then something else that almost completely changed my life happened. See, my classmates and everyone around me always made fun of the music I listen to by calling it "Satan music" and telling the teachers, whom felt uncomfortable with me then. That annoyed me since I tried to maintain a good relationship with teachers generally. EVERYONE criticized what I listen to (other than my amazing family and one friend). Typically with any other hobby I’d stop just so the teasing can stop. But I never stopped listening to Metal. No, it was more than a hobby. I started realizing how much this music meant to me. I started going back home and turning on a record when I’m alone in my room, and I just felt better about myself and about what I’m doing in life. It made me feel better. No, it wasn’t a hobby. It was a passion. It was this amazing realization that when everything around me is collapsing, at least ill have amazing music to help me through, and while I agree that is very cliche and naive to think, it was what I thought at the moment. But I digress. One fateful afternoon, I saw the Reddit app was trending on the Apple Store. I decided to download it. I didn’t really pay much attention to it until I entered this very sub. The recommendation thread just started, so I decided to post on there. A new world of music opened to me. Suddenly I realized that there is so much more to the genre than I thought. All this amazing music came pouring through that I never knew existed. I gladly took it and walked away. I was teased even more when some dude saw me listening to Atheist (one of the first recs I got!) which made him go tell everyone I was going to be an Atheist, which isn’t a problem, more power to you if you are. But to the more closed minded people around me, this is a problem, so I had to stop all the rumors to avoid any issues. As corny and as lewronggeneration as I sound, no one understood me. Like, no, really. 9th grade was coming to a close, anyway so that was nice. Towards the end of the year things just got worse and worse and all I had to help was music. Even my own parents started turning on me after a problem at school. I just put on headphones and listened to the angriest shit I had. Sidetracking for a hot minute: the album that really helped me get through everything was Crack the Skye by Mastodon. It meant and still means so much to me. But sadly I can’t listen to it as often as I want to, it brings back way too many bad memories which fucking sucks because that shit is like one of the best albums ever. 9th grade is finally done. Thankfully, the last few weeks were far better than the entire year as I got to fix a lot of what went wrong throughout the year. This summer was very eventful, it was the summer that I got to mend a lot of what was wrong with my older brother (now he’s like one of my favorite people ever, he’s one of the only two people I know in real life who listens to metal). It was the summer where I got to kind of meditate on the wrong in 9th grade. I tried to look back and take away the positives. What did I learn? How will I fix this? It was also the summer I started frequenting this here sub. And this is where the whole point of this piece comes in. I wanna thank every person here who contributes to discussion regularly. You have given me a place to talk about something I was always embarrassed to talk about, yet it was something I loved so dearly. Thank you for being cool people who I can talk to about whatever bullshit I want to talk about. Really, thank you. And now in grade 10, I consider you guys and girls a lot cooler than a lot of my classmates. I embraced metal and fuck anyone who criticizes me for it. It's my passion, I can do whatever I want with it.

  • Jevon Carter

    BDSM is what you make of it. There's hundreds of kinks and you have to find what works for you. Maybe look into The New Topping and New Bottoming Books. Now a few terms from me that you should know: Look up the safety and video tutorials of everything you try with risk, (not porn), even 'light' bondage or cuffs could cause nerve damage if tied wrong or left too long. Recommend getting safety shears. Never leave a tied person alone or try to sleep like that. Feeling numbness or tingling get free immediately. Start small, maybe each type out an ideal 500 word fantasy for the two of you and go from there. As for the rest, roll with it and laugh it sounds like a bad porn script or is weird. Top: Person performing an action in a scene. Bottom: Person receiving an action in a scene. Dominant-Dom (Domme/Domina for females): Person who has agreed to take control of the scene and commanding the sub *within limits of both people.* More mental then physical though both are important. Submissive (sub): Person who *consents* to not be equals in a scene and do what the dominant wants. Within established limits and agreed activities. Random surprises in a scene are not a good idea. Switch: People who like to both Dom/Domme and sub depending on their mood and/or type of scene. Switching mid-scene is more rare but can be done with couples who know each other well. Not all Tops are Doms/Dommes and not all subbing is from the bottom. For example a girlfriend could be a Domme but like to be spanked. In that case she would tell her boyfriend exactly when/where/with what/how hard/how often to spank her. The boyfriend is a Sadist Top, doing the spanking but only to obey her, the Masochist Domme. He might wear a leash she can pull on to remind him whose in charge. Review/establish hard & soft limits and safewords protocols if you don't already have them. Red=Stop NOW! Yellow=Minor issue please pause to hear why. Green=Keep Going. Every once in a while check in especially if its a new activity by asking "Color?" Doms can safeword too if need be. Hard limits are things you never want to even consider, both of you should respect the other one's and not bring it up again unless they do. Don't like mixing pee and sex? (Watersports), then hard limit it. if things change over time maybe bring it up but still respect the other person not being into it. Soft limits are things you are nervous about but are willing to work your way up too. Never done anal before? Buy a butt plug and carefully wear it for 10 minutes each day, increasing the time as you get more comfortable. Then slowly take her yourself. Aftercare: Snuggling and cuddling as normal people again after a scene to 'come down' after the intensity of a scene. Doms/Tops need it too. What is in it will vary from person to person. Blankets, water and chocolate are a good basic package. And praise for each other, a lot of it. Talk about a scene again after you are both restored to see what worked and what didn't. Aftercare is needed to prevent the dreaded Drop. (Subdrop but Doms can get it too). Drop: All the fun chemicals in your brain going away from a scene. Negative emotions and thoughts like sadness and maybe even disgust might pop in your head but it's probably just the coming down effect in your mind. Communication and aftercare are needed with your partner to prevent this in both of you. Drop can sometimes hit a few days later so monitor yourself. Personal experience: first scenes on a Friday night, drop didn't hit until Monday night/Tuesday morning, I needed to sleep it off. Irritable for no reason and out of step with the rest of the world, felt like a bad day no matter where I went. Let me be clear about punishments and funishments. Punishments are something the sub honestly hates that are done for breaking a rule/protocol. But they can STILL safeword out if they feel unsafe or the Dom isn't listening to why they broke the rules. Not all punishments are sexual it could be boring like writing lines 100 times. They are typically used if you have outside the bedroom aspects to D/s . NEVER use punishments out of genuine anger or resentment for obvious reasons. FUNishments are things the sub likes but pretends to break rules over to set up the scene. E.g. I didn't wear blue today so I deserve a spanking! Subs that like to tease or make the Dominant 'work' for obedience are Brats. D/s could be attractive for many different reasons. Pleasure of being someone's lust toy, the trust that you can share a desire not to be equals with someone that some people will never understand, the power and control of another within limits, relaxing your mind and just doing what the Dominant wants, earning praise of someone you love etc. Next part is written as female Domme and male sub but can be flipped around. What kind of Domme do you want to be? What does he respond to best? Have safewords in place and review limits just in case. Nurturing: "Be a good boy and lick my special spot, the lady juice just means your doing a good job!" "I'm so proud of you for making me cum!" Mocking/Degrader: "If I was fingering myself I'd have cum twice by now! You think that little tongue wagging is going to get me wet? Harder and faster you dumbass!" Sadist:"I'm going to spank your ass while your down there and it's going to turn bright red and bruised, whine all you want but *don't* stop licking or I make it worse." For every 10 minutes I don't cum that's 5 whacks with my hairbrush after on your ass." Nurturing Sadist: "I know it hurts but it makes me so happy your taking so much in dedication to me. I'll give you a break for two minutes, then just 10 more spanks, I know you can do it! After I promise to rub the lotion on your bruises and kiss them better. I'm proud of you." Tease and deny him: "I'm going to sit on your face while your hands are tied/cuffed! I'm going to keep jerking you off until *I* feel like stopping, don't care if your sensitive after you cum, it makes me wet so I'm going to make you squirm! For extra effect every time he cums, immediately drop your pussy in his face so he knows orgasm=your scent & taste. You can also make him give you oral for every time he cums after. Make him thank you after. Rub him out while he's still in his underwear and make him stay all wet in them afterwards because he is so dirty and it amuses you to see him in nothing but wet underpants. (Shower after). Dirty talk/ownership: This is where you belong isn't it? You belong to me. You have stress outside here but the people at work don't know this is who you really are right? This is what you crave inside, being covered in marks and lady juice from me isn't it? You like the smell/taste/warmth don't you? Tell me how much of a dirty boy you are. Admit it, you love being my living sex toy. Sensory: Blindfolds, gags, earplugs to remove senses to heighten anticipation. Need a new way to safeword, i.e. dropping something noisy like a cat toy or gesture with his arms if they're not tied. Tickling. Ice and hot wax (check the safety) for temperature fun. Gags are not really for rookies until trust and alternate safeword ready. Role play: This can take many forms. Its make-believe for adults. Nurse costumes, a leash, a teacher's ruler, whatever you need to set the scene. Laugh if you need too but once you hit yours and his scenario you'll know. Body worship: Make him kneel on the floor naked and kiss your feet/heels/boots. Put them close together and tell him his lips are not allowed to leave your skin so he must drag them over from side to side as he shifts from foot to foot. Whip cream/other such food on your feet/nipples. Not your crotch it causes UTI. Lemon juice if you want to make him squirm but he wants you in his mouth so bad he'll do it (within limits of course). Forbid him from touching himself while doing this, make him beg to put any part of you in his mouth because he's *so horny.* If you can reach the top of his head, dig your nails in slightly and massage the scalp. Trust me he'll probably melt. Service subbing: More outside the bedroom, doing household chores to earn praise of the dominant. Get him naked to vacuum while you 'ignore' him clothed while reading on the sofa. He cooks for you and eats at your feet during meals alone at home, etc. A little subtle outside the bedroom game to signal/turn you both on, (written as male Dom and female sub):when you as sub wear sandals to go out, the Dom expects at some point that she will 'casually' slip both feet out and be barefoot in front of others briefly as a symbol of the Dom's control even when others don't know; and a symbol the sub is horny and will be ready to be barefoot and naked at home whenever the Dom orders. Bonus if the sub's toenails are painted a color the Dom ordered, fingers too. A little game to let him know you are still attracted to him and feel up to sex when you set that up. Have fun and stay safe, sane and consensual! If you want to get out into the local community join Fetlife (kink Facebook not a dating site) and look for munches nearby. Munches are public (vanilla) gatherings of kinksters at a restaurant as platonic friends like a hobby group. TNG The Next Generation for the under 30/35 people in some areas; should there be a TNG there's probably a separate older munch. Not for speed dating or a meat market. 90% of the talk isn't even kink. Good for getting a vibe off others and learning about the other kinky events later on including classes on how to rope, bootblack or maybe even flog. If you want to read about the different events and what communities may be like first; check out the book Playing Well With Others.

  • Alessandro Metz

    "If one was regularly ignored, abandoned, discounted, disclaimed, and rejected -- as well as invalidated, confused, betrayed, insulted, criticized, judged, blamed, embarrassed, humiliated, ridiculed, victimized, demonized, persecuted, picked on, dumped on, bullied, scapegoated, and/or otherwise abused -- by others upon whom they depended for survival in early life, and/or they are highly stressed by school, work, relationships or other chronic life challenges, they may have been programmed, conditioned, socialized and/or normalized to conflicting beliefs, values, ideals, principles, convictions, rules, codes, regulations and requirements about how we or they (or the world) should / must / ought / have to be, and then beat themselves up for not being able to meet their conflicting expectations and requirements." If you relate to that description above, and it *is* the case, here's a research-proven road map out of the jungle (I used to be able to provide links, but so doing requires a lot of review-&-approval labor by the moderators here, so please look up whatever terms you don't understand): 1) Substance Abuse: IF one is using alcohol, nicotine in any form, or other substances, they'll have to stop. SA can cause -- or worsen -- this in people with specific genetics and behavioral conditioning (see below). Alcoholics Anonymous, Marijuana Anonymous and/or Narcotics Anonymous can be helpful. Or using the SAMHSA facility locator online to find a detox & rehab. 2) If one is NOT doing the above, they may need lab work to determine if they have hormonal (e.g.: thyroid) or metabolic (e.g.: low Vitamin D3) imbalances. See a competent MD, DO, PA or NP. (To find one in your area, use the clinician locators mentioned below or get a referral from your GP/PC doc.) 3) Medications, but *only if really needed* to get one stabilized enough to do next seven things on this list: Find a board certified psychopharmacologist in your area by using the physician locators below. Getting psych meds from a GP or primary care doc can be useless or even risky. Psych diagnoses, meds and med interactions are just too complex now for most GPs and primary care docs. 4) Support Groups: Adult Children of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families (ACA), Emotions Anonymous (EA), and Codependents Anonymous (CoDA)... where you will find others in similar boats who have found explanations, answers and solutions. All of their websites have meeting locators. 5) Books and academic, *professional* websites including Mayo Clinic, WebMD, NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health), NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), and even Wikipedia (when everything asserted is solidly documented with citations). Strongly recommended: Alexander Chapman & Kimberly Gratz's *The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide: Everything You Need to Know About Living with BPD*, and because they all understand the upshots of having been stressed into fight, flight or freeze for too long, including complex PTSD: Bessel van der Kolk, Peter Levine, Patricia Ogden, Ronald Kurtz, Laurence Heller, Bruce McEwen, Sonya Lupien and Robert Sapolsky. Look for an online article entitled "Treat Autonomic AND Cognitive Conditions in Psychopathology?" to get you oriented. *Accurate* information is power. 6) Psychotherapy: I currently use Ogden's Sensorimotor Processing for Trauma (SP4T) as the "interoceptive" 9th of The 10 StEPs of Emotion Processing (a combination of "insight meditation" with the principles of "general semantics"; you can find both online) to manage any time bombs that turn up, but had good results over the years with several of the . . . a) cognitive behavioral therapies (CBTs), including Rational-Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT), collegiate critical thinking, and Schema Therapy; the . . . b) "super" (or mindfulness-based) CBTs like Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT, the long-time gold standard for BPD symptom management), Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), Mind-Body Bridging Therapy (MBBT), and Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR); and the . . . c) "deep cleaners" like Eye-Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR), Hakomi Body Centered Psychotherapy (HBCP), Somatic Experiencing Psychotherapy (SEPt), Sensorimotor Processing for Trauma (SP4T), and the Neuro-Affective Relational Model (NARM). The CBTs deconstruct one's inaccurate beliefs, values, ideals, principles, convictions, rules, codes, regulations and requirements about how we or they (or the world) should / must / ought / have to be. DBT, MBCT, ACT, MBBT and MBSR are terrific for emotional symptom management. EMDR, HBCT, SEPt, SP4T and NARM are first-rate for memory-reprocessing, sense-making and detachment from the conditioning, programming, etc. To find the clinicians who know how to use these psychotherapies, look on the "therapists" and "psychiatrists" sections of the *Psychology Today*.com clinician locator, on the "find-a-doctor/specialty/psychiatry" section of the WebMD website, the SAMHSA's treatment facility locator, and -- for DBT specialists in particular -- on the Behavioraltech.org website. If you dig a little on each page, you will be able to see which therapies they use. Then interview *them* as though they were applying for a job with *your* company. Most psychiatrists, btw, are *not* therapists themselves (they are medication specialists), but can refer you to those who are, and are often excellent sources of referral. 7) Mindfulness Meditation: Try the Vipassana or Theravada Meditation styles? (For a *lot* of people with anxiety, unwanted mania and depression, this stuff handles them all chop chop. Many of the modern "mindfulness"-based psychotherapies are actually based on these now.) The article "The Feeling is Always Temporary" at pairadocks.blogspot.com provides a nice summation of it. 8) Therapy Workbooks: I got a lot of lift-off by using inexpensive workbooks built on CBT, ACT, DBT, MBBT and MBCT. They are easily found online. The very best of the DBT workbooks include: Chapman, A.; Gratz, K.; Tull, M.: *The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anxiety: Breaking Free from Worry, Panic, PTSD & Other Anxiety Symptoms*, Oakland CA: New Harbinger, 2011. Chapman, A.; Gratz, K.; Tull, M.: *The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anger: Using DBT Mindfulness & Emotion Regulation Skills to Manage Anger*, Oakland CA: New Harbinger, 2015. Marra, T.: *Depressed & Anxious: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook for Overcoming Depression & Anxiety*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2004. McKay, M.; Wood, J.; Brantley, J.: *The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2007. McKay, M.; Fanning, P.; Ona, P. Z.: *Mind and Emotions: A Universal Treatment for Emotional Disorders*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2011. Pederson, L.; Pederson, C. S.: *The Expanded Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Training Manual*, Eau Claire WI: Premier Publishing, 2012. Van Dijk, S.: *The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder: Using DBT to Regain Control of Your Emotions and Your Life*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2009. Van Dijk, S.: *Calming the Emotional Storm*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2012. Van Dijk, S.: *DBT Made Simple: A Step-by-Step Guide to Dialectical Behavior Therapy*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2013. 9) Moderate Exercise: Because it is the single healthiest of the distractions one can use to yank oneself out of the paradigm for a while... *and* it can help to "massage" the brain so that it responds more quickly to psychotherapy. 10) Diet: A lot of people with depression, mania and/or anxiety eat *very* poorly. Junk food -- not to mention too *little* nutritious food -- will definitely impact those who are overly stressed and make symptoms worse. High-quality frozen meals are better than McFood of almost any kind, but HQ *fresh* (especially Mediterranean -- though not *pizza* -- and Asian) food appears to be best for pts with C-PTSD symptoms. *Healthy* fats in moderation, btw, are known to be good for depression. Add a 1000 IU soft gel of Vitamin D3, too. Of the ten, #3 and #6 are the only ones that cost much, and several are totally free.

  • Rosella Hartmann

    Eddie comes to her first, because he is the most frightened. He comes to her not as her friend of that summer, or as her brief lover now, but the way he would have come to his mother only three or four years ago, to be comforted; he doesn't draw back from her smooth nakedness and at first she doubts if he even feels it. He is trembling, and although she holds him the darkness is so perfect that even this close she cannot see him; except for the rough cast he might as well be a phantom.     'What do you want?' he asks her.     'You have to put your thing in me,' she says.     He tries to pull back but she holds him and he subsides against her. She has heard someone - Ben, she thinks - draw in his breath.     'Bevvie, I can't do that. I don't know how - '     'I think it's easy. But you'll have to get undressed.' She thinks about the intricacies of managing cast and shirt, first somehow separating and then rejoining them, and amends, 'Your pants, anyway.'     'No, I can't!' But she thinks part of him can, and wants to, because his trembling has stopped and she feels something small and hard which presses against the right side of her belly.     'You can,' she says, and pulls him down. The surface beneath her bare back and legs is firm, clayey, dry. The distant thunder of the water is drowsy, soothing. She reaches for him. There's a moment when her father's face intervenes, harsh and forbidding     (I want to see if you're intact)     and then she closes her arms around Eddie's neck, her smooth cheek against his smooth cheek, and as he tentatively touches her small breasts she sighs and thinks for the first time This is Eddie and she remembers a day in July - could it only have been last month? - when no one else turned up in the Barrens but Eddie, and he had a whole bunch of Little Lulu comic books and they read together for most of the afternoon, Little Lulu looking for beebleberries and getting in all sorts of crazy situations, Witch Hazel, all of those guys. It had been fun.     She thinks of birds; in particular of the grackles and starlings and crows that come back in the spring, and her hands go to his belt and loosen it, and he says again that he can't do that; she tells him that he can, she knows he can, and what she feels is not shame or fear now but a kind of triumph.     'Where?' he says, and that hard thing pushes urgently against her inner thigh.     'Here,' she says.     'Bevvie, I'll fall on you!' he says, and she hears his breath start to whistle painfully.     'I think that's sort of the idea,' she tells him and holds him gently and guides him. He pushes forward too fast and there is pain.     Ssssss! - she draws her breath in, her teeth biting at her lower lip and thinks of the birds again, the spring birds, lining the roofpeaks of houses, taking wing all at once under low March clouds.     'Beverly?' he says uncertainly. 'Are you okay?'     'Go slower,' she says. 'It'll be easier for you to breathe.' He does move more slowly, and after awhile his breathing speeds up but she understands this is not because there is anything wrong with him.     The pain fades. Suddenly he moves more quickly, then stops, stiffens, and makes a sound - some sound. She senses that this is something for him, something extraordinarily, special, something like . . . like flying. She feels powerful: she feels a sense of triumph rise up strongly within her. Is this what her father was afraid of? Well he might be! There was power in this act, all right, a chain-breaking power that was blood-deep. She feels no physical pleasure, but there is a kind of mental ecstasy in it for her. She senses the closeness. He puts his face against her neck and she holds him. He's crying. She holds him. And feels the part of him that made a connection between them begin to fade. It is not leaving her, exactly; it is simply fading, becoming less.     When his weight shifts away she sits up and touches his face in the darkness.     'Did you?'.     'Did I what?'     'Whatever it is. I don't know, exactly.'     He shakes his head - she feels it with her hand against his cheek.     'I don't think it was exactly like . . . you know, like the big boys say. But it was . . . it was really something.' He speaks low so the others can't hear. 'I love you, Bevvie.'     Mike comes to her, then Richie, and the act is repeated. Now she feels some pleasure, dim heat in her childish unmatured sex, and she closes her eyes as Stan comes to her and she thinks of the birds, spring and the birds, and she sees them, again and again, all lighting at once, filling up the winter-naked trees, shockwave riders on the moving edge of nature's most violent season, she sees them take wing again and again, the flutter of their wings like the snap of many sheets on the line, and she thinks: A month from now every kid in Derry Park will have a kite, they'll run to keep the strings from getting tangled with each other. She thinks again: This is what flying is like.     With Stan as with the others, there is that rueful sense of fading, of leaving, with whatever they truly need from this act - some ultimate - close but as yet unfound.     'Did you?' she asks again, and although she doesn't know exactly what 'it' is, she knows that he hasn't.     There is a long wait, and then Ben comes to her.     He is trembling all over, but it is not the fearful trembling she felt in Stan.     'Beverly, I can't,' he says in a tone which purports to be reasonable and is anything but.     'You can too. I can feel it.'     She sure can. There's more of this hardness; more of him. She can feel it below the gentle push of his belly. Its size raises a certain curiosity and she touches the bulge lightly. He groans against her neck, and the blow of his breath causes her bare body to dimple with goosebumps. She feels the first twist of real heat race through her - suddenly the feeling in her is very large; she recognizes that it is too big     (and is he too big, can she take that into herself?)     and too old for her, something, some feeling that walks in boots. This is like Henry's M-80s, something not meant for kids, something that could explode and blow you up. But this was not the place or time for worry; here there was love, desire, and the dark. If they didn't try for the first two they would surely be left with the last.     'Beverly, don't - '     'Yes.'     'Show me how to fly,' she says with a calmness she doesn't feel, aware by the fresh wet warmth on her cheek and neck that he has begun to cry. 'Show me, Ben.'     'No . . . '     'If you wrote the poem, show me. Feel my hair if you want to, Ben. It's all right.'     'Beverly . . . I . . . I . . . '     He's not just trembling now; he's shaking all over. But she senses again that this ague is not all fear - part of it is the precursor of the throe this act is all about. She thinks of     (the birds)     his face, his dear sweet earnest face, and knows it is not fear; it is wanting he feels, a deep passionate wanting now barely held in check, and she feels that sense of power again, something like flying, something like looking down from above and seeing all the birds on the roofpeaks, on the TV antenna atop Wally's, seeing streets spread out maplike, oh desire, right, this was something, it was love and desire that taught you to fly.     'Ben! Yes!' she cries suddenly, and the leash breaks.     She feels pain again, and for a moment there is the frightening sensation of being crushed. Then he props himself up on the palms of his hands and that feeling is gone.     He's big, oh yes - the pain is back, and it's much deeper than when Eddie first entered her. She has to bite her lip again and think of the birds until the burning is gone. But it does go, and she is able to reach up and touch his lips with one finger, and he moans.     The heat is back, and she feels her power suddenly shift to him; she gives it gladly and goes with it. There is a sensation first of being rocked, of a delicious spiralling sweetness which makes her begin to turn her head helplessly from side to side, and a tuneless humming comes from between her closed lips, this is flying, this, oh love, oh desire, oh this is something impossible to deny, binding, giving, making a strong circle: binding, giving . . . flying.     'Oh Ben, oh my dear, yes,' she whispers, feeling the sweat stand out on her face, feeling their connection, something firmly in place, something like eternity, the number 8 rocked over on its side. 'I love you so much, dear.'       Biting her hand will not stay the cry, and she can only reassure them - and Ben - by crying out her affirmative in the darkness.     'Yes! Yes! Yes!' Glorious images of flight fill her head, mixing with the harsh calling of the grackles and starlings; these sounds become the world's sweetest music.     So she flies, she flies up, and now the power is not with her or with him but somewhere between them, and he cries out, and she can feel his arms trembling, and she arches up and into him, feeling his spasm, his touch, his total fleeting intimacy with her in the dark. They break through into the lifelight together.     Then it is over and they are in each other's arms and when he tries to say something - perhaps some stupid apology that would hurt what she remembers, some stupid apology like a handcuff, she stops his words with a kiss and sends him away.

  • Kelvin Barton

    "If one was regularly ignored, abandoned, discounted, disclaimed, and rejected -- as well as invalidated, confused, betrayed, insulted, criticized, judged, blamed, embarrassed, humiliated, ridiculed, victimized, demonized, persecuted, picked on, dumped on, bullied, scapegoated, and/or otherwise abused -- by others upon whom they depended for survival in early life, and/or they are highly stressed by school, work, relationships or other chronic life challenges, they may have been programmed, conditioned, socialized and/or normalized to conflicting beliefs, values, ideals, principles, convictions, rules, codes, regulations and requirements about how we or they (or the world) should / must / ought / have to be, and then beat themselves up for not being able to meet their conflicting expectations and requirements." If you relate to that description above, and it *is* the case, here's a research-proven road map out of the jungle (I used to be able to provide links, but so doing requires a lot of review-&-approval labor by the moderators here, so please look up whatever terms you don't understand): 1) Substance Abuse: IF one is using alcohol, nicotine in any form, or other substances, they'll have to stop. SA can cause -- or worsen -- this in people with specific genetics and behavioral conditioning (see below). Alcoholics Anonymous, Marijuana Anonymous and/or Narcotics Anonymous can be helpful. Or using the SAMHSA facility locator online to find a detox & rehab. 2) If one is NOT doing the above, they may need lab work to determine if they have hormonal (e.g.: thyroid) or metabolic (e.g.: low Vitamin D3) imbalances. See a competent MD, DO, PA or NP. (To find one in your area, use the clinician locators mentioned below or get a referral from your GP/PC doc.) 3) Medications, but *only if really needed* to get one stabilized enough to do next seven things on this list: Find a board certified psychopharmacologist in your area by using the physician locators below. Getting psych meds from a GP or primary care doc can be useless or even risky. Psych diagnoses, meds and med interactions are just too complex now for most GPs and primary care docs. 4) Support Groups: Adult Children of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families (ACA), Emotions Anonymous (EA), and Codependents Anonymous (CoDA)... where you will find others in similar boats who have found explanations, answers and solutions. All of their websites have meeting locators. 5) Books and academic, *professional* websites including Mayo Clinic, WebMD, NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health), NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), and even Wikipedia (when everything asserted is solidly documented with citations). Strongly recommended: Alexander Chapman & Kimberly Gratz's *The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide: Everything You Need to Know About Living with BPD*, and because they all understand the upshots of having been stressed into fight, flight or freeze for too long, including complex PTSD: Bessel van der Kolk, Peter Levine, Patricia Ogden, Ronald Kurtz, Laurence Heller, Bruce McEwen, Sonya Lupien and Robert Sapolsky. Look for an online article entitled "Treat Autonomic AND Cognitive Conditions in Psychopathology?" to get you oriented. *Accurate* information is power. 6) Psychotherapy: I currently use Ogden's Sensorimotor Processing for Trauma (SP4T) as the "interoceptive" 9th of The 10 StEPs of Emotion Processing (a combination of "insight meditation" with the principles of "general semantics"; you can find both online) to manage any time bombs that turn up, but had good results over the years with several of the . . . a) cognitive behavioral therapies (CBTs), including Rational-Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT), collegiate critical thinking, and Schema Therapy; the . . . b) "super" (or mindfulness-based) CBTs like Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT, the long-time gold standard for BPD symptom management), Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), Mind-Body Bridging Therapy (MBBT), and Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR); and the . . . c) "deep cleaners" like Eye-Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR), Hakomi Body Centered Psychotherapy (HBCP), Somatic Experiencing Psychotherapy (SEPt), Sensorimotor Processing for Trauma (SP4T), and the Neuro-Affective Relational Model (NARM). The CBTs deconstruct one's inaccurate beliefs, values, ideals, principles, convictions, rules, codes, regulations and requirements about how we or they (or the world) should / must / ought / have to be. DBT, MBCT, ACT, MBBT and MBSR are terrific for emotional symptom management. EMDR, HBCT, SEPt, SP4T and NARM are first-rate for memory-reprocessing, sense-making and detachment from the conditioning, programming, etc. To find the clinicians who know how to use these psychotherapies, look on the "therapists" and "psychiatrists" sections of the *Psychology Today*.com clinician locator, on the "find-a-doctor/specialty/psychiatry" section of the WebMD website, the SAMHSA's treatment facility locator, and -- for DBT specialists in particular -- on the Behavioraltech.org website. If you dig a little on each page, you will be able to see which therapies they use. Then interview *them* as though they were applying for a job with *your* company. Most psychiatrists, btw, are *not* therapists themselves (they are medication specialists), but can refer you to those who are, and are often excellent sources of referral. 7) Mindfulness Meditation: Try the Vipassana or Theravada Meditation styles? (For a *lot* of people with anxiety, unwanted mania and depression, this stuff handles them all chop chop. Many of the modern "mindfulness"-based psychotherapies are actually based on these now.) The article "The Feeling is Always Temporary" at pairadocks.blogspot.com provides a nice summation of it. 8) Therapy Workbooks: I got a lot of lift-off by using inexpensive workbooks built on CBT, ACT, DBT, MBBT and MBCT. They are easily found online. The very best of the DBT workbooks include: Chapman, A.; Gratz, K.; Tull, M.: *The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anxiety: Breaking Free from Worry, Panic, PTSD & Other Anxiety Symptoms*, Oakland CA: New Harbinger, 2011. Chapman, A.; Gratz, K.; Tull, M.: *The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anger: Using DBT Mindfulness & Emotion Regulation Skills to Manage Anger*, Oakland CA: New Harbinger, 2015. Marra, T.: *Depressed & Anxious: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook for Overcoming Depression & Anxiety*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2004. McKay, M.; Wood, J.; Brantley, J.: *The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2007. McKay, M.; Fanning, P.; Ona, P. Z.: *Mind and Emotions: A Universal Treatment for Emotional Disorders*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2011. Pederson, L.; Pederson, C. S.: *The Expanded Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Training Manual*, Eau Claire WI: Premier Publishing, 2012. Van Dijk, S.: *The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder: Using DBT to Regain Control of Your Emotions and Your Life*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2009. Van Dijk, S.: *Calming the Emotional Storm*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2012. Van Dijk, S.: *DBT Made Simple: A Step-by-Step Guide to Dialectical Behavior Therapy*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2013. 9) Moderate Exercise: Because it is the single healthiest of the distractions one can use to yank oneself out of the paradigm for a while... *and* it can help to "massage" the brain so that it responds more quickly to psychotherapy. 10) Diet: A lot of people with depression, mania and/or anxiety eat *very* poorly. Junk food -- not to mention too *little* nutritious food -- will definitely impact those who are overly stressed and make symptoms worse. High-quality frozen meals are better than McFood of almost any kind, but HQ *fresh* (especially Mediterranean -- though not *pizza* -- and Asian) food appears to be best for pts with C-PTSD symptoms. *Healthy* fats in moderation, btw, are known to be good for depression. Add a 1000 IU soft gel of Vitamin D3, too. Of the ten, #3 and #6 are the only ones that cost much, and several are totally free.

  • Brady Parisian

    "If one was regularly ignored, abandoned, discounted, disclaimed, and rejected -- as well as invalidated, confused, betrayed, insulted, criticized, judged, blamed, embarrassed, humiliated, ridiculed, victimized, demonized, persecuted, picked on, dumped on, bullied, scapegoated, and/or otherwise abused -- by others upon whom they depended for survival in early life, and/or they are highly stressed by school, work, relationships or other chronic life challenges, they may have been programmed, conditioned, socialized and/or normalized to conflicting beliefs, values, ideals, principles, convictions, rules, codes, regulations and requirements about how we or they (or the world) should / must / ought / have to be, and then beat themselves up for not being able to meet their conflicting expectations and requirements." If you relate to that description above, and it *is* the case, here's a research-proven road map out of the jungle (I used to be able to provide links, but so doing requires a lot of review-&-approval labor by the moderators here, so please look up whatever terms you don't understand): 1) Substance Abuse: IF one is using alcohol, nicotine in any form, or other substances, they'll have to stop. SA can cause -- or worsen -- this in people with specific genetics and behavioral conditioning (see below). Alcoholics Anonymous, Marijuana Anonymous and/or Narcotics Anonymous can be helpful. Or using the SAMHSA facility locator online to find a detox & rehab. 2) If one is NOT doing the above, they may need lab work to determine if they have hormonal (e.g.: thyroid) or metabolic (e.g.: low Vitamin D3) imbalances. See a competent MD, DO, PA or NP. (To find one in your area, use the clinician locators mentioned below or get a referral from your GP/PC doc.) 3) Medications, but *only if really needed* to get one stabilized enough to do next seven things on this list: Find a board certified psychopharmacologist in your area by using the physician locators below. Getting psych meds from a GP or primary care doc can be useless or even risky. Psych diagnoses, meds and med interactions are just too complex now for most GPs and primary care docs. 4) Support Groups: Adult Children of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families (ACA), Emotions Anonymous (EA), and Codependents Anonymous (CoDA)... where you will find others in similar boats who have found explanations, answers and solutions. All of their websites have meeting locators. 5) Books and academic, *professional* websites including Mayo Clinic, WebMD, NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health), NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), and even Wikipedia (when everything asserted is solidly documented with citations). Strongly recommended: Alexander Chapman & Kimberly Gratz's *The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide: Everything You Need to Know About Living with BPD*, and because they all understand the upshots of having been stressed into fight, flight or freeze for too long, including complex PTSD: Bessel van der Kolk, Peter Levine, Patricia Ogden, Ronald Kurtz, Laurence Heller, Bruce McEwen, Sonya Lupien and Robert Sapolsky. Look for an online article entitled "Treat Autonomic AND Cognitive Conditions in Psychopathology?" to get you oriented. *Accurate* information is power. 6) Psychotherapy: I currently use Ogden's Sensorimotor Processing for Trauma (SP4T) as the "interoceptive" 9th of The 10 StEPs of Emotion Processing (a combination of "insight meditation" with the principles of "general semantics"; you can find both online) to manage any time bombs that turn up, but had good results over the years with several of the . . . a) cognitive behavioral therapies (CBTs), including Rational-Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT), collegiate critical thinking, and Schema Therapy; the . . . b) "super" (or mindfulness-based) CBTs like Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT, the long-time gold standard for BPD symptom management), Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), Mind-Body Bridging Therapy (MBBT), and Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR); and the . . . c) "deep cleaners" like Eye-Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR), Hakomi Body Centered Psychotherapy (HBCP), Somatic Experiencing Psychotherapy (SEPt), Sensorimotor Processing for Trauma (SP4T), and the Neuro-Affective Relational Model (NARM). The CBTs deconstruct one's inaccurate beliefs, values, ideals, principles, convictions, rules, codes, regulations and requirements about how we or they (or the world) should / must / ought / have to be. DBT, MBCT, ACT, MBBT and MBSR are terrific for emotional symptom management. EMDR, HBCT, SEPt, SP4T and NARM are first-rate for memory-reprocessing, sense-making and detachment from the conditioning, programming, etc. To find the clinicians who know how to use these psychotherapies, look on the "therapists" and "psychiatrists" sections of the *Psychology Today*.com clinician locator, on the "find-a-doctor/specialty/psychiatry" section of the WebMD website, the SAMHSA's treatment facility locator, and -- for DBT specialists in particular -- on the Behavioraltech.org website. If you dig a little on each page, you will be able to see which therapies they use. Then interview *them* as though they were applying for a job with *your* company. Most psychiatrists, btw, are *not* therapists themselves (they are medication specialists), but can refer you to those who are, and are often excellent sources of referral. 7) Mindfulness Meditation: Try the Vipassana or Theravada Meditation styles? (For a *lot* of people with anxiety, unwanted mania and depression, this stuff handles them all chop chop. Many of the modern "mindfulness"-based psychotherapies are actually based on these now.) 8) Therapy Workbooks: I got a lot of lift-off by using inexpensive workbooks built on CBT, ACT, DBT, MBBT and MBCT. They are easily found online. The very best of the DBT workbooks include: Chapman, A.; Gratz, K.; Tull, M.: *The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anxiety: Breaking Free from Worry, Panic, PTSD & Other Anxiety Symptoms*, Oakland CA: New Harbinger, 2011. Chapman, A.; Gratz, K.; Tull, M.: *The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anger: Using DBT Mindfulness & Emotion Regulation Skills to Manage Anger*, Oakland CA: New Harbinger, 2015. Marra, T.: *Depressed & Anxious: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook for Overcoming Depression & Anxiety*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2004. McKay, M.; Wood, J.; Brantley, J.: *The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2007. McKay, M.; Fanning, P.; Ona, P. Z.: *Mind and Emotions: A Universal Treatment for Emotional Disorders*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2011. Pederson, L.; Pederson, C. S.: *The Expanded Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Training Manual*, Eau Claire WI: Premier Publishing, 2012. Van Dijk, S.: *The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder: Using DBT to Regain Control of Your Emotions and Your Life*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2009. Van Dijk, S.: *Calming the Emotional Storm*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2012. Van Dijk, S.: *DBT Made Simple: A Step-by-Step Guide to Dialectical Behavior Therapy*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2013. 9) Moderate Exercise: Because it is the single healthiest of the distractions one can use to yank oneself out of the paradigm for a while... *and* it can help to "massage" the brain so that it responds more quickly to psychotherapy. 10) Diet: A lot of people with depression, mania and/or anxiety eat *very* poorly. Junk food -- not to mention too *little* nutritious food -- will definitely impact those who are overly stressed and make symptoms worse. High-quality frozen meals are better than McFood of almost any kind, but HQ *fresh* (especially Mediterranean -- though not *pizza* -- and Asian) food appears to be best for pts with C-PTSD symptoms. *Healthy* fats in moderation, btw, are known to be good for depression. Add a 1000 IU soft gel of Vitamin D3, too. Of the ten, #3 and #6 are the only ones that cost much, and several are totally free.

  • Cleve Kertzmann

    "If one was regularly ignored, abandoned, discounted, disclaimed, and rejected -- as well as invalidated, confused, betrayed, insulted, criticized, judged, blamed, embarrassed, humiliated, ridiculed, victimized, demonized, persecuted, picked on, dumped on, bullied, scapegoated, and/or otherwise abused -- by others upon whom they depended for survival in early life, and/or they are highly stressed by school, work, relationships or other chronic life challenges, they may have been programmed, conditioned, socialized and/or normalized to conflicting beliefs, values, ideals, principles, convictions, rules, codes, regulations and requirements about how we or they (or the world) should / must / ought / have to be, and then beat themselves up for not being able to meet their conflicting expectations and requirements." If you relate to that description above, and it *is* the case, here's a research-proven road map out of the jungle (I used to be able to provide links, but so doing requires a lot of review-&-approval labor by the moderators here, so please look up whatever terms you don't understand): 1) Substance Abuse: IF one is using alcohol, nicotine in any form, or other substances, they'll have to stop. SA can cause -- or worsen -- this in people with specific genetics and behavioral conditioning (see below). Alcoholics Anonymous, Marijuana Anonymous and/or Narcotics Anonymous can be helpful. Or using the SAMHSA facility locator online to find a detox & rehab. 2) If one is NOT doing the above, they may need lab work to determine if they have hormonal (e.g.: thyroid) or metabolic (e.g.: low Vitamin D3) imbalances. See a competent MD, DO, PA or NP. (To find one in your area, use the clinician locators mentioned below or get a referral from your GP/PC doc.) 3) Medications, but *only if really needed* to get one stabilized enough to do next seven things on this list: Find a board certified psychopharmacologist in your area by using the physician locators below. Getting psych meds from a GP or primary care doc can be useless or even risky. Psych diagnoses, meds and med interactions are just too complex now for most GPs and primary care docs. 4) Support Groups: Adult Children of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families (ACA), Emotions Anonymous (EA), and Codependents Anonymous (CoDA)... where you will find others in similar boats who have found explanations, answers and solutions. All of their websites have meeting locators. 5) Books and academic, *professional* websites including Mayo Clinic, WebMD, NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health), NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), and even Wikipedia (when everything asserted is solidly documented with citations). Strongly recommended: Alexander Chapman & Kimberly Gratz's *The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide: Everything You Need to Know About Living with BPD*, and because they all understand the upshots of having been stressed into fight, flight or freeze for too long, including complex PTSD: Bessel van der Kolk, Peter Levine, Patricia Ogden, Ronald Kurtz, Laurence Heller, Bruce McEwen, Sonya Lupien and Robert Sapolsky. Look for an online article entitled "Treat Autonomic AND Cognitive Conditions in Psychopathology?" to get you oriented. *Accurate* information is power. 6) Psychotherapy: I currently use Ogden's Sensorimotor Processing for Trauma (SP4T) as the "interoceptive" 9th of The 10 StEPs of Emotion Processing (a combination of "insight meditation" with the principles of "general semantics"; you can find both online) to manage any time bombs that turn up, but had good results over the years with several of the . . . a) cognitive behavioral therapies (CBTs), including Rational-Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT), collegiate critical thinking, and Schema Therapy; the . . . b) "super" (or mindfulness-based) CBTs like Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT, the long-time gold standard for BPD symptom management), Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), Mind-Body Bridging Therapy (MBBT), and Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR); and the . . . c) "deep cleaners" like Eye-Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR), Hakomi Body Centered Psychotherapy (HBCP), Somatic Experiencing Psychotherapy (SEPt), Sensorimotor Processing for Trauma (SP4T), and the Neuro-Affective Relational Model (NARM). The CBTs deconstruct one's inaccurate beliefs, values, ideals, principles, convictions, rules, codes, regulations and requirements about how we or they (or the world) should / must / ought / have to be. DBT, MBCT, ACT, MBBT and MBSR are terrific for emotional symptom management. EMDR, HBCT, SEPt, SP4T and NARM are first-rate for memory-reprocessing, sense-making and detachment from the conditioning, programming, etc. To find the clinicians who know how to use these psychotherapies, look on the "therapists" and "psychiatrists" sections of the *Psychology Today*.com clinician locator, on the "find-a-doctor/specialty/psychiatry" section of the WebMD website, the SAMHSA's treatment facility locator, and -- for DBT specialists in particular -- on the Behavioraltech.org website. If you dig a little on each page, you will be able to see which therapies they use. Then interview *them* as though they were applying for a job with *your* company. Most psychiatrists, btw, are *not* therapists themselves (they are medication specialists), but can refer you to those who are, and are often excellent sources of referral. 7) Mindfulness Meditation: Try the Vipassana or Theravada Meditation styles? (For a *lot* of people with anxiety, unwanted mania and depression, this stuff handles them all chop chop. Many of the modern "mindfulness"-based psychotherapies are actually based on these now.) 8) Therapy Workbooks: I got a lot of lift-off by using inexpensive workbooks built on CBT, ACT, DBT, MBBT and MBCT. They are easily found online. The very best of the DBT workbooks include: Chapman, A.; Gratz, K.; Tull, M.: *The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anxiety: Breaking Free from Worry, Panic, PTSD & Other Anxiety Symptoms*, Oakland CA: New Harbinger, 2011. Chapman, A.; Gratz, K.; Tull, M.: *The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anger: Using DBT Mindfulness & Emotion Regulation Skills to Manage Anger*, Oakland CA: New Harbinger, 2015. Marra, T.: *Depressed & Anxious: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook for Overcoming Depression & Anxiety*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2004. McKay, M.; Wood, J.; Brantley, J.: *The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2007. McKay, M.; Fanning, P.; Ona, P. Z.: *Mind and Emotions: A Universal Treatment for Emotional Disorders*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2011. Pederson, L.; Pederson, C. S.: *The Expanded Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Training Manual*, Eau Claire WI: Premier Publishing, 2012. Van Dijk, S.: *The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder: Using DBT to Regain Control of Your Emotions and Your Life*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2009. Van Dijk, S.: *Calming the Emotional Storm*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2012. Van Dijk, S.: *DBT Made Simple: A Step-by-Step Guide to Dialectical Behavior Therapy*, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2013. 9) Moderate Exercise: Because it is the single healthiest of the distractions one can use to yank oneself out of the paradigm for a while... *and* it can help to "massage" the brain so that it responds more quickly to psychotherapy. 10) Diet: A lot of people with depression, mania and/or anxiety eat *very* poorly. Junk food -- not to mention too *little* nutritious food -- will definitely impact those who are overly stressed and make symptoms worse. High-quality frozen meals are better than McFood of almost any kind, but HQ *fresh* (especially Mediterranean -- though not *pizza* -- and Asian) food appears to be best for pts with C-PTSD symptoms. *Healthy* fats in moderation, btw, are known to be good for depression. Add a 1000 IU soft gel of Vitamin D3, too. Of the ten, #3 and #6 are the only ones that cost much, and several are totally free.

  • Sven Macejkovic

    No, I'm certainly not conflating the appetitive soul with phronesis. Analogical predication is the idea that something can be said in different ways (unlike univocal predication) but where these different ways are related by virtue of being ordered in closer or further analogy to a primary sense of the term (unlike equivocal predication). So that, for instance, we can say that the human good is both excellence in contemplative life and excellence in political life, but we mean neither that these are the human good in the same sense (as in univocal predication), nor in two unrelated senses (as in equivocal predication), but rather that they are the human good in a related sense. In this case, the relation being established by the former being the primary sense of the human good, and the latter being a secondary sense of the human good, as while they both relate to the satisfaction of the criteria of human good, the former does so less qualifiedly and the latter more qualifiedly. So in dealing with Aristotle's explication of a concept in relation to analogical predication we have to identify in what way the different parts of this explication are ordered toward the primary sense of the concept, by which ordering the various parts all share in the matter of this explication, yet neither in unrelated nor in all the same way, but rather by degree and according to the relevant order. In the argument of the *Nicomachean Ethics*, we first get the distinction between the irrational and the rational. But then to introduce a kind of order or degree into this scheme, a middle term is introduced: the appetitive, which is in one sense (on its own terms) irrational but in another sense (insofar as it may be governed by reason) rational. So now we have the ordered scheme of irrational, middle term, rational : vegetative, appetitive, rational. The primary sense of rationality is given by the rational soul, while the appetitive soul is rational in a secondary sense, derivative of the primary sense. In book six, we turn from an inquiry into the moral virtues to an inquiry into the intellectual virtues, but Aristotle is again going to try to fit his intellectual virtues into the order he has established, that is what is going to provide his answer to the question of the human good. So to fill in the degrees of this order, we get another distinction introduced, which you've noted: > We said before that there were two parts of the soul--that which possesses reason and that which is irrational; let us now draw a similar distinction within the part that possesses reason. And let it be assumed that there are two parts which possess reason--one by which we contemplate the kind of things whose principles cannot be otherwise, and one by which we contemplate variable things. (VI.1.1039a3+) As with the argument of I:13, we're seeing Aristotle introduce a middle term so as to fill out his order by ascending degrees step-by-step. The distinction between deliberative and scientific function is not merely a hodge-podge (as in equivocation) but rather fits us with the terms we need to ascend the degrees which make up Aristotle's explanation of human excellence (by analogy). The deliberative function is that rational function which is oriented toward the governance of affective function, so that it can occupy the place of a middle term between ordered affective function and rational function in the less qualified sense of a rational function which has also strictly rational objects or aims (i.e. the scientific). If a schematic preoccupation with middle terms is too off-putting a way of making this point, we already know from I:13 that Aristotle is going to need to introduce this term, in order to explain how reason can govern the affects. And that deliberative function is ordered to this governance is what he tells us in the next chapter: > moral excellence is a state concerned with choice, and choice is deliberate desire, therefore both the reasoning must be true and the desire right, if the choice is to be good, and the latter must pursue just what the former asserts. Now this kind of intellect and of truth is practical... > The origin of action--its efficient, not its final cause--is choice, and that of choice is desire and reasoning with a view to an end. This is why choice cannot exist either without thought and intellect or without a moral state; for good action and its opposite cannot exist without a combination of intellect and character. Intellect itself, however, moves nothing, but only the intellect which aims at an end and is practical... Hence choice is either desiderative thought or intellectual desire, and such an origin of action is man. (VI.2.1039a22+) So Aristotle does what we would expect in the first two chapter of book six, he introduces the distinction between a function of the rational soul which takes the determination of the affective soul as its object, thereby identifying that domain which is constituted by this interpenetration of the affective and the rational, and a function of the rational soul which is ordered to rational objects as such. This is what he has to do in order to fill in the details of the scheme introduced in I:13 where we have an order rising from irrationality to rationality. This idea of a function of rationality which is ordered toward the determination of the affective isn't a conflation of phronesis with affect (and if it is, it's a conflation going on in the text, rather than an error in my interpretation of it). Likewise, the result of this ordered presentation, that it's going to be sophia which is the primary sense of intellectual virtue, does not have to wait until the argument about the gods in X:7-8, but rather is already stated in this account of the intellectual virtues: > Wisdom in the arts we ascribe to their most finished exponents... but we think that some people are wise in general, not in some particular field or in any other limited respect... Therefore wisdom must plainly be the most finished of the forms of knowledge... For it would be strange to think that the art of politics, or practical wisdom, is the best knowledge, since man is not the best thing in the world. (VI.7.1141a9+) And the argument is again connected back to VI:1 and the distinction between scientific and deliberative: > Practical wisdom on the other hand is concerned with things human and things about which it is possible to deliberate; for we say this is above all the work of the man of practical wisdom, to deliberate well, but no one deliberates about things that cannot be otherwise... (VI.7.1141b8+) And this ordered relation from deliberative to scientific, from phronesis to sophia, is connected to the ordered relation from humanity to cosmos: > Now if what is healthy or good is different for men and for fishes, but what is white or straight is always the same, any one would say that what is wise is the same but what is practically wise is different... It is evident also that wisdom and the art of politics cannot be the same; for if the state of mind concerned with a man's own interests is to be called wisdom, there will be many wisdoms; there will not be one concerned with the good of all animals, but a different wisdom about the good of each species. (VI.7.1141a21+) So that sophia is more complete than phronesis in relation to its subjective grounds, since phronesis is reason ordered to the governance of affect while sophia is reason ordered to its own objects, but also in relation to its objective grounds, since phronesis is reasoning about oneself and one's species while sophia is reasoning about the cosmos. In both cases we're seeing the same idea of an ordered relation, or a relation of primacy: the cosmos is a more complete object than oneself and one's species, reasoning about the proper objects of reason is more unqualifiedly an act of reasoning than is reasoning about the determinations of the affective. This idea of an ascending order is as essential to the argument of book six as it is to I:13. And it's essential to the overall argument of the text, since if we cannot identify a primary sense of rational activity, then we cannot identify a primary sense of human eudaimonia. So it's exactly what we would expect when the same point returns in X:7-8. I won't quote them, as I take it as uncontentious that we find this doctrine there, and it was only the interpretation of the earlier books you were contesting.

  • Milton Feil

    OK, I'll try to explain this with a bit more context. And to be clear I do understand where you are coming from, so this isn't against you personally. Actually your view on this is far from unusual-it is perpetuated throughout many cultures and has been or attempted to be ascribed into law. It is found throughout classic literature, mythology, and holy books. It's literally sanctified in the form of one of the most contemporary saints, Maria Goretti, who told her would be rapist to stab her to death instead of taking her virginity (and then forgave him en route to the hospital after he obliged!) In contemporary media it persists, in shows like law and order SVU, where the detectives commonly infer that their "special victims" are irreparably damaged, or in shows like intervention where addicts on the brink of death almost always have some tragic childhood history involving molestation. Which is not to suggest those experiences are not real or even common, but it's just a very typical narrative. It's also the concept behind a handful of states efforts to make child rape a death penalty offense in recent years- invoking the very same language that you used. And I believe it's well intentioned in most cases, a way of attempting to empathize and advocate justice for victims, while conveying the trauma of rape in a way that is universally understood. But there are several issues with this framing. *** First there is the personal impact on victims. For one if we say that those who have been raped suffer a “fate worse than death” that will haunt them for the rest of their lives, what reason do they have to continue living? If death is truly the lesser of two evils, why would someone already suffering hesitate to embrace it as an escape? As you see in the Netherlands case, some will do just that. It feeds directly into the sense of helplessness and hopelessness that many victims feel in the aftermath of trauma. In the midst of that it truly feels like there is no way out- it's all encompassing. *** Conversely for victims who don't end up with PTSD or significant mental anguish, it may make them question if their experience was actually valid, or wonder if there is something wrong with them if they don't respond in the expected way. They will be much less likely to press charges, which is obviously bad for society as a whole. And victims who comply with their attackers and don't fight back may feel complicit- even though it's been proven that this improves your chances of survival and serious injury, especially in stranger attacks. But if rape is a fate worse than death, then there is an implicit expectation that the victim should fight to the death in order to avoid it. This attitude is reflected in law's all over the world even today, even in what we consider progressive, enlightened countries. In Germany for example, a charge of rape required evidence that the victim physically fought back and was overcome by force until July of 2016! And it took the horrific and largely unpunished public assaults in Cologne before new legislation was even considered. *** There's also the fact that so much of the psychological damage from rape and sexual abuse is related to shame. That shame stems from the idea that being raped makes you "damaged goods", which is an attitude inflicted by culture and not intrinsic to the crime itself. See for example what happened to Elizabeth Smart- while she was held captive she actually heard people searching for her and could have been rescued. But because she had been raped- and because she grew up with the message that sex makes a girl like a "chewed up piece of gum" (these were the actual words used by her abstinence only sex-ed teacher)- she didn't respond. Also if you look at how rape victims are treated in some cultures- how they literally are cast out of villages and treated like lepers, even killed- you can see how that kind of framing is quite damaging to victims. *** Looking back at the history of how rape has been regarded by society, it becomes a bit more clear where this attitude originates. One of the first known examples of rape being viewed as a crime is early Babylonia. It was seen as a property crime against the husband of the victim. The punishment involved binding the victim to her rapist and throwing them both into the river to drown. The husband was seen as the victim because rape violated his exclusive sexual access to his wife, and her chastity. This attitude of rape as a property crime persisted throughout history and into early common law which designated rape as a "crime against nature”-the natural order of things being a husband's ownership of his wife. When criminal statutes were implemented in the Americas, the common law conception of rape was imported into the legal code, but the harshest punishment for rape was in Confederate States. This was largely due to the racially based fears of white women being defiled-and thus ruined- by black men. *** And today the harshest sanctions against rape, including death, are seen in the very cultures where women are the most oppressed. It isn't because women are valued- quite the contrary, these are usually the same cultures that ostracize or even punish victims, hearkening back to ancient Babylonia. And these are the same cultures where the idea of rape as worse than death is most firmly rooted. *** Here's an example, from Yemen (http://newsandletters.org/to-yemenis-rape-is-worse-than-death/) >"I would rather she died than be raped,” said Um Ahmed Alam angrily. A woman in her fifties, she fears the chaos the country will suffer if civil war breaks out in Yemen. >Her fear of sexual harassment is bigger than her fear of losing any of her four daughters. “Death is death, we all will die eventually, but the shame of rape is what we cannot handle,” she said sadly. ... >Mothers have begun to exchange advice on how to protect their daughters from rape if the country slips into civil war. “I would kill my daughter with my bare hands if this happened,” said Alam’s husband, even though he acknowledged that the girl would be the victim in this situation. *** Consider the fact that people only say things like this about sexual violence. Survivors of horrible car accidents, combat, violent attacks that aren't sexually motivated etc. All are likely to have PTSD, but you really never hear it suggested that they might have been better off if they hadn't survived unless they emerge with so much physical damage that their quality of life is next to nothing. *** So that leads me to question what it is about rape that is so different? The trauma that most often manifests as PTSD is the fear of death from having your body is completely under the control of someone with intent to cause harm, but that's really no different than what someone experiences being mugged or beaten. That's not to say it's the same-having your body integrity violated for someone else's pleasure is sickening and there is something especially horrific about the up close and personal nature of sexual trauma-the smell, the taste, the sheer proximity of another human being who is terrifying and revolting- that stays with you in a way that other forms of trauma may not. *** But from my experience and what I've heard from others, it's the feelings of shame that cause the most mental suffering. And that is entirely a byproduct of culture and socialization rooted in really archaic concepts of intrinsic human worth and identity. For children, innocence. For women, purity and chastity. For men, strength and virility. Sexual assault feels like an annihilation of what we are conditioned to value the most. The child is robbed of innocence, the woman is defiled and forever tainted, the man becomes a weak and submissive victim. In a culture where these traits are seen as the crucial elements of personhood, the act takes on a greater power than the crime itself. Attempts to recover are then rendered futile- those who have been raped are already the “living dead.” *** Sorry to write a book- and again I understand what you are trying to say and I believe it is well intentioned, I just really disagree with this concept and I've been personally fucked up by it.There has to be a balance between making sure justice is done for victims sexual violence without reinforcing the very beliefs that cause mental suffering in the first place.

  • Osbaldo Yost

    OK, I'll try to explain this with a bit more context. And to be clear I do understand where you are coming from, so this isn't against you personally. Actually your view on this is far from unusual-it is perpetuated throughout many cultures and has been or attempted to be ascribed into law. It is found throughout classic literature, mythology, and holy books. It's literally sanctified in the form of one of the most contemporary saints, Maria Goretti, who told her would be rapist to stab her to death instead of taking her virginity (and then forgave him en route to the hospital after he obliged!) In contemporary media it persists, in shows like law and order SVU, where the detectives commonly infer that their "special victims" are irreparably damaged, or in shows like intervention where addicts on the brink of death almost always have some tragic childhood history involving molestation. Which is not to suggest those experiences are not real or even common, but it's just a very typical narrative. It's also the concept behind a handful of states efforts to make child rape a death penalty offense in recent years- invoking the very same language that you used. And I believe it's well intentioned in most cases, a way of attempting to empathize and advocate justice for victims, while conveying the trauma of rape in a way that is universally understood. But there are several issues with this framing. First there is the personal impact on victims. For one if we say that those who have been raped suffer a “fate worse than death” that will haunt them for the rest of their lives, what reason do they have to continue living? If death is truly the lesser of two evils, why would someone already suffering hesitate to embrace it as an escape? As you see in the Netherlands case, some will do just that. It feeds directly into the sense of helplessness and hopelessness that many victims feel in the aftermath of trauma. In the midst of that it truly feels like there is no way out- it's all encompassing. Conversely for victims who *don't* end up with PTSD or significant mental anguish, it may make them question if their experience was actually valid, or wonder if there is something wrong with them if they don't respond in the expected way. They will be much less likely to press charges, which is obviously bad for society as a whole. And victims who comply with their attackers and don't fight back may feel complicit- even though it's been proven that this improves your chances of survival and serious injury, especially in stranger attacks. But if rape is a fate worse than death, then there is an implicit expectation that the victim should fight to the death in order to avoid it. This attitude is reflected in law's all over the world even today, even in what we consider progressive, enlightened countries. In Germany for example, a charge of rape required evidence that the victim physically fought back and was overcome by force until July of 2016! And it took the horrific and largely unpunished public assaults in Cologne before new legislation was even considered. There's also the fact that so much of the psychological damage from rape and sexual abuse is related to shame. That shame stems from the idea that being raped makes you "damaged goods", which is an attitude inflicted by culture and not intrinsic to the crime itself. See for example what happened to Elizabeth Smart- while she was held captive she actually heard people searching for her and could have been rescued. But because she had been raped- and because she grew up with the message that sex makes a girl like a "chewed up piece of gum" (these were the actual words used by her abstinence only sex-ed teacher)- she didn't respond. Also if you look at how rape victims are treated in some cultures- how they literally are cast out of villages and treated like lepers, even killed- you can see how that kind of framing is quite damaging to victims. Looking back at the history of how rape has been regarded by society, it becomes a bit more clear where this attitude originates. One of the first known examples of rape being viewed as a crime is early Babylonia. It was seen as a property crime against the husband of the victim. The punishment involved binding the victim to her rapist and throwing them both into the river to drown. The husband was seen as the victim because rape violated his exclusive sexual access to his wife, and her chastity. This attitude of rape as a property crime persisted throughout history and into early common law which designated rape as a "crime against nature”-the natural order of things being a husband's ownership of his wife. When criminal statutes were implemented in the Americas, the common law conception of rape was imported into the legal code, but the harshest punishment for rape was in Confederate States. This was largely due to the racially based fears of white women being defiled-and thus ruined- by black men. And today the harshest sanctions against rape, including death, are seen in the very cultures where women are the most oppressed. It isn't because women are valued- quite the contrary, these are usually the same cultures that ostracize or even punish victims, hearkening back to ancient Babylonia. And these are the same cultures where the idea of rape as worse than death is most firmly rooted. Here's an example, from Yemen (http://newsandletters.org/to-yemenis-rape-is-worse-than-death/) >"I would rather she died than be raped,” said Um Ahmed Alam angrily. A woman in her fifties, she fears the chaos the country will suffer if civil war breaks out in Yemen. >Her fear of sexual harassment is bigger than her fear of losing any of her four daughters. “Death is death, we all will die eventually, but the shame of rape is what we cannot handle,” she said sadly. >... >Mothers have begun to exchange advice on how to protect their daughters from rape if the country slips into civil war. “I would kill my daughter with my bare hands if this happened,” said Alam’s husband, even though he acknowledged that the girl would be the victim in this situation. Consider the fact that people only say things like this about sexual violence. Survivors of horrible car accidents, combat, violent attacks that aren't sexually motivated etc. All are likely to have PTSD, but you really never hear it suggested that they might have been better off if they hadn't survived unless they emerge with so much physical damage that their quality of life is next to nothing. So that leads me to question what it is about rape that is so different? The trauma that most often manifests as PTSD is the fear of death from having your body is completely under the control of someone with intent to cause harm, but that's really no different than what someone experiences being mugged or beaten. That's not to say it's the same-having your body integrity violated for someone else's pleasure is sickening and there is something especially horrific about the up close and personal nature of sexual trauma-the smell, the taste, the sheer proximity of another human being who is terrifying and revolting- that stays with you in a way that other forms of trauma may not. But from my experience and what I've heard from others, it's the feelings of shame that cause the most mental suffering. And that is entirely a byproduct of culture and socialization rooted in really archaic concepts of intrinsic human worth and identity. For children, innocence. For women, purity and chastity. For men, strength and virility. Sexual assault feels like an annihilation of what we are conditioned to value the most. The child is robbed of innocence, the woman is defiled and forever tainted, the man becomes a weak and submissive victim. In a culture where these traits are seen as the crucial elements of personhood, the act takes on a greater power than the crime itself. Attempts to recover are then rendered futile- those who have been raped are already the “living dead.” Sorry to write a book- and again I understand what you are trying to say and I believe it is well intentioned, I just really disagree with this concept and I've been personally fucked up by it.There has to be a balance between making sure justice is done for victims sexual violence without reinforcing the very beliefs that cause mental suffering in the first place.

  • Rosa Lehner

    OK, I'll try to explain this with a bit more context. And to be clear I do understand where you are coming from, so this isn't against you personally. Actually your view on this is far from unusual-it is perpetuated throughout many cultures and has been or attempted to be ascribed into law. It is found throughout classic literature, mythology, and holy books. It's literally sanctified in the form of one of the most contemporary saints, Maria Goretti, who told her would be rapist to stab her to death instead of taking her virginity (and then forgave him en route to the hospital after he obliged!) In contemporary media it persists, in shows like law and order SVU, where the detectives commonly infer that their "special victims" are irreparably damaged, or in shows like intervention where addicts on the brink of death almost always have some tragic childhood history involving molestation. Which is not to suggest those experiences are not real or even common, but it's just a very typical narrative. It's also the concept behind a handful of states efforts to make child rape a death penalty offense in recent years- invoking the very same language that you used. And I believe it's well intentioned in most cases, a way of attempting to empathize and advocate justice for victims, while conveying the trauma of rape in a way that is universally understood. But there are several issues with this framing. First there is the personal impact on victims. For one if we say that those who have been raped suffer a “fate worse than death” that will haunt them for the rest of their lives, what reason do they have to continue living? If death is truly the lesser of two evils, why would someone already suffering hesitate to embrace it as an escape? As you see in the Netherlands case, some will do just that. It feeds directly into the sense of helplessness and hopelessness that many victims feel in the aftermath of trauma. In the midst of that it truly feels like there is no way out- it's all encompassing. Conversely for victims who don't end up with PTSD or significant mental anguish, it may make them question if their experience was actually valid, or wonder if there is something wrong with them if they don't respond in the expected way. They will be much less likely to press charges, which is obviously bad for society as a whole. And victims who comply with their attackers and don't fight back may feel complicit- even though it's been proven that this improves your chances of survival and serious injury, especially in stranger attacks. But if rape is a fate worse than death, then there is an implicit expectation that the victim should fight to the death in order to avoid it. This attitude is reflected in law's all over the world even today, even in what we consider progressive, enlightened countries. In Germany for example, a charge of rape required evidence that the victim physically fought back and was overcome by force until July of 2016! And it took the horrific and largely unpunished public assaults in Cologne before new legislation was even considered. There's also the fact that so much of the psychological damage from rape and sexual abuse is related to shame. That shame stems from the idea that being raped makes you "damaged goods", which is an attitude inflicted by culture and not intrinsic to the crime itself. See for example what happened to Elizabeth Smart- while she was held captive she actually heard people searching for her and could have been rescued. But because she had been raped- and because she grew up with the message that sex makes a girl like a "chewed up piece of gum" (these were the actual words used by her abstinence only sex-ed teacher)- she didn't respond. Also if you look at how rape victims are treated in some cultures- how they literally are cast out of villages and treated like lepers, even killed- you can see how that kind of framing is quite damaging to victims. Looking back at the history of how rape has been regarded by society, it becomes a bit more clear where this attitude originates. One of the first known examples of rape being viewed as a crime is early Babylonia. It was seen as a property crime against the husband of the victim. The punishment involved binding the victim to her rapist and throwing them both into the river to drown. The husband was seen as the victim because rape violated his exclusive sexual access to his wife, and her chastity. This attitude of rape as a property crime persisted throughout history and into early common law which designated rape as a "crime against nature”-the natural order of things being a husband's ownership of his wife. When criminal statutes were implemented in the Americas, the common law conception of rape was imported into the legal code, but the harshest punishment for rape was in Confederate States. This was largely due to the racially based fears of white women being defiled-and thus ruined- by black men. And today the harshest sanctions against rape, including death, are seen in the very cultures where women are the most oppressed. It isn't because women are valued- quite the contrary, these are usually the same cultures that ostracize or even punish victims, hearkening back to ancient Babylonia. And these are the same cultures where the idea of rape as worse than death is most firmly rooted. Here's an example, from Yemen (http://newsandletters.org/to-yemenis-rape-is-worse-than-death/) >"I would rather she died than be raped,” said Um Ahmed Alam angrily. A woman in her fifties, she fears the chaos the country will suffer if civil war breaks out in Yemen. >Her fear of sexual harassment is bigger than her fear of losing any of her four daughters. “Death is death, we all will die eventually, but the shame of rape is what we cannot handle,” she said sadly. ... >Mothers have begun to exchange advice on how to protect their daughters from rape if the country slips into civil war. “I would kill my daughter with my bare hands if this happened,” said Alam’s husband, even though he acknowledged that the girl would be the victim in this situation. Consider the fact that people only say things like this about sexual violence. Survivors of horrible car accidents, combat, violent attacks that aren't sexually motivated etc. All are likely to have PTSD, but you really never hear it suggested that they might have been better off if they hadn't survived unless they emerge with so much physical damage that their quality of life is next to nothing. So that leads me to question what it is about rape that is so different? The trauma that most often manifests as PTSD is the fear of death from having your body is completely under the control of someone with intent to cause harm, but that's really no different than what someone experiences being mugged or beaten. That's not to say it's the same-having your body integrity violated for someone else's pleasure is sickening and there is something especially horrific about the up close and personal nature of sexual trauma-the smell, the taste, the sheer proximity of another human being who is terrifying and revolting- that stays with you in a way that other forms of trauma may not. But from my experience and what I've heard from others, it's the feelings of shame that cause the most mental suffering. And that is entirely a byproduct of culture and socialization rooted in really archaic concepts of intrinsic human worth and identity. For children, innocence. For women, purity and chastity. For men, strength and virility. Sexual assault feels like an annihilation of what we are conditioned to value the most. The child is robbed of innocence, the woman is defiled and forever tainted, the man becomes a weak and submissive victim. In a culture where these traits are seen as the crucial elements of personhood, the act takes on a greater power than the crime itself. Attempts to recover are then rendered futile- those who have been raped are already the “living dead.” Sorry to write a book- and again I understand what you are trying to say and I believe it is well intentioned, I just really disagree with this concept and I've been personally fucked up by it.There has to be a balance between making sure justice is done for victims sexual violence without reinforcing the very beliefs that cause mental suffering in the first place.

  • Guiseppe Schinner

    OK, I'll try to explain this with a bit more context. And to be clear I do understand where you are coming from, so this isn't against you personally. Actually your view on this is far from unusual-it is perpetuated throughout many cultures and has been or attempted to be ascribed into law. It is found throughout classic literature, mythology, and holy books. It's literally sanctified in the form of one of the most contemporary saints, Maria Goretti, who told her would be rapist to stab her to death instead of taking her virginity (and then forgave him en route to the hospital after he obliged!) In contemporary media it persists, in shows like law and order SVU, where the detectives commonly infer that their "special victims" are irreparably damaged, or in shows like intervention where addicts on the brink of death almost always have some tragic childhood history involving molestation. Which is not to suggest those experiences are not real or even common, but it's just a very typical narrative. It's also the concept behind a handful of states efforts to make child rape a death penalty offense in recent years- invoking the very same language that you used. And I believe it's well intentioned in most cases, a way of attempting to empathize and advocate justice for victims, while conveying the trauma of rape in a way that is universally understood. But there are several issues with this framing. First there is the personal impact on victims. For one if we say that those who have been raped suffer a “fate worse than death” that will haunt them for the rest of their lives, what reason do they have to continue living? If death is truly the lesser of two evils, why would someone already suffering hesitate to embrace it as an escape? As you see in the Netherlands case, some will do just that. It feeds directly into the sense of helplessness and hopelessness that many victims feel in the aftermath of trauma. In the midst of that it truly feels like there is no way out- it's all encompassing. Conversely for victims who don't end up with PTSD or significant mental anguish, it may make them question if their experience was actually valid, or wonder if there is something wrong with them if they don't respond in the expected way. They will be much less likely to press charges, which is obviously bad for society as a whole. And victims who comply with their attackers and don't fight back may feel complicit- even though it's been proven that this improves your chances of survival and serious injury, especially in stranger attacks. But if rape is a fate worse than death, then there is an implicit expectation that the victim should fight to the death in order to avoid it. This attitude is reflected in law's all over the world even today, even in what we consider progressive, enlightened countries. In Germany for example, a charge of rape required evidence that the victim physically fought back and was overcome by force until July of 2016! And it took the horrific and largely unpunished public assaults in Cologne before new legislation was even considered. There's also the fact that so much of the psychological damage from rape and sexual abuse is related to shame. That shame stems from the idea that being raped makes you "damaged goods", which is an attitude inflicted by culture and not intrinsic to the crime itself. See for example what happened to Elizabeth Smart- while she was held captive she actually heard people searching for her and could have been rescued. But because she had been raped- and because she grew up with the message that sex makes a girl like a "chewed up piece of gum" (these were the actual words used by her abstinence only sex-ed teacher)- she didn't respond. Also if you look at how rape victims are treated in some cultures- how they literally are cast out of villages and treated like lepers, even killed- you can see how that kind of framing is quite damaging to victims. Looking back at the history of how rape has been regarded by society, it becomes a bit more clear where this attitude originates. One of the first known examples of rape being viewed as a crime is early Babylonia. It was seen as a property crime against the husband of the victim. The punishment involved binding the victim to her rapist and throwing them both into the river to drown. The husband was seen as the victim because rape violated his exclusive sexual access to his wife, and her chastity. This attitude of rape as a property crime persisted throughout history and into early common law which designated rape as a "crime against nature”-the natural order of things being a husband's ownership of his wife. When criminal statutes were implemented in the Americas, the common law conception of rape was imported into the legal code, but the harshest punishment for rape was in Confederate States. This was largely due to the racially based fears of white women being defiled-and thus ruined- by black men. And today the harshest sanctions against rape, including death, are seen in the very cultures where women are the most oppressed. It isn't because women are valued- quite the contrary, these are usually the same cultures that ostracize or even punish victims, hearkening back to ancient Babylonia. And these are the same cultures where the idea of rape as worse than death is most firmly rooted. Here's an example, from Yemen (http://newsandletters.org/to-yemenis-rape-is-worse-than-death/) "I would rather she died than be raped,” said Um Ahmed Alam angrily. A woman in her fifties, she fears the chaos the country will suffer if civil war breaks out in Yemen. Her fear of sexual harassment is bigger than her fear of losing any of her four daughters. “Death is death, we all will die eventually, but the shame of rape is what we cannot handle,” she said sadly. ... Mothers have begun to exchange advice on how to protect their daughters from rape if the country slips into civil war. “I would kill my daughter with my bare hands if this happened,” said Alam’s husband, even though he acknowledged that the girl would be the victim in this situation. Consider the fact that people only say things like this about sexual violence. Survivors of horrible car accidents, combat, violent attacks that aren't sexually motivated etc. All are likely to have PTSD, but you really never hear it suggested that they might have been better off if they hadn't survived unless they emerge with so much physical damage that their quality of life is next to nothing. So that leads me to question what it is about rape that is so different? The trauma that most often manifests as PTSD is the fear of death from having your body is completely under the control of someone with intent to cause harm, but that's really no different than what someone experiences being mugged or beaten. That's not to say it's the same-having your body integrity violated for someone else's pleasure is sickening and there is something especially horrific about the up close and personal nature of sexual trauma-the smell, the taste, the sheer proximity of another human being who is terrifying and revolting- that stays with you in a way that other forms of trauma may not. But from my experience and what I've heard from others, it's the feelings of shame that cause the most mental suffering. And that is entirely a byproduct of culture and socialization rooted in really archaic concepts of intrinsic human worth and identity. For children, innocence. For women, purity and chastity. For men, strength and virility. Sexual assault feels like an annihilation of what we are conditioned to value the most. The child is robbed of innocence, the woman is defiled and forever tainted, the man becomes a weak and submissive victim. In a culture where these traits are seen as the crucial elements of personhood, the act takes on a greater power than the crime itself. Attempts to recover are then rendered futile- those who have been raped are already the “living dead.” Sorry to write a book- and again I understand what you are trying to say and I believe it is well intentioned, I just really disagree with this concept and I've been personally fucked up by it.There has to be a balance between making sure justice is done for victims sexual violence without reinforcing the very beliefs that cause mental suffering in the first place.

  • Janick Bins

    Here's my list I share with friends. Have a great anniversary! Wineries / Vineyards Raymond — Legit great wines in a hilarious setting. The winery is owned by an eccentric French billionaire and it’s decorated like a West Hollywood club. Make sure to ask for a tasting in the Crystal Room. You will die. It is so funny. They also have a “red room” that is floor to ceiling red velvet that you should at least peek into - they also let you reserve it out if you spend minimum $50 per person wine by the glass ($15 - $20 each) or bottle ($50 - $250 each). You can hang out and play board games, cards, read books. It’s really fun. Plus, they have goats in their garden that you can hang out with! No reservations needed. Address: 849 Zinfandel Ln, St Helena, CA 94574 Phone:(707) 963-3141 raymondvineyards.com http://www.yelp.com/biz/raymond-vineyards-saint-helena Prager — This is an all-port winery, so if you want to pick up some dessert wines, they are the best at it in the valley. No reservations needed. Address: 1281 Lewelling Ln, St Helena, CA 94574 Phone:(707) 963-7678 http://www.pragerport.com/ http://www.yelp.com/biz/prager-winery-and-port-works-saint-helena Clos du Val -- This place is really fun, and the staff is great. If they like you they’ll pour you vintages from the 90s free of charge, which is amazing. They also have really nice cabanas outside that you can reserve if you buy a bottle. No reservations needed. Address: 5330 Silverado Trail, Napa, CA 94558 Phone:(707) 261-5251 http://www.closduval.com/ http://www.yelp.com/biz/clos-du-val-napa Artesa -- Gorgeous, modern architecture with unparallelled views of the valley. They also make fabulous whites if you want to go to a place that specializes in that. No reservations needed. Address: 1345 Henry Rd, Napa, CA 94559 Phone:(707) 224-1668 http://www.artesawinery.com/ http://www.yelp.com/biz/artesa-vineyards-and-winery-napa-2 Peju — Ask for a session with one of the two pourers who look like Steve Martin. If they are busy, wait out for their next session. It’s an amazing tasting experience where they really go out of their way to educate you. It’s like being inside an NPR show. Also see if they’ll give you a taste of the 50/50. A reservation may be advisable nut not necessary. Address: 8466 St Helena Hwy, Rutherford, CA 94573 Phone:(707) 963-3600 http://www.peju.com/ http://www.yelp.com/biz/peju-province-winery-rutherford Caymus Vineyards — One of the premiere winemakers in the valley and not snobby at all. Reservation not needed. Address: 8700 Conn Creek Rd, Rutherford, CA 94573 Phone:(707) 967-3010 http://www.caymus.com/ http://www.yelp.com/biz/caymus-vineyards-rutherford Mumm Napa — The quintessential bubbles winery. And it’s only bubbles. They have sparkling white but also roses and sparkling reds, which are interesting. It’s a sit-down tasting and you can buy cheese or chocolate pairs. It gets a little busy and is really only a stop if you’re super into bubbles (which I am not). Address: 8445 Silverado Trail, Napa, CA 94558 Phone:(707) 967-7700 https://www.mummnapa.com/ http://www.yelp.com/biz/mumm-napa-napa-5 Chateau Boswell — Laid back tasting with spectacular pinot noirs and whites. By reservation only, contact Rom: https://www.evernote.com/l/AQTQY_lrjc9Gf5V9eOisqiga39oBzxnuOcU Address: 3468 Silverado Trail, St Helena, CA 94574 Phone:(707) 963-5472 http://chateauboswell.com/ http://www.yelp.com/biz/chateau-boswell-st-helena Hess Collection — It’s kind of a hike up a windy road, but this is an art gallery as well as a good winery in a pretty spectacular castle setting. Might be worth a call-ahead. http://www.hesscollection.com/ http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-hess-collection-winery-napa-2 Address: 4411 Redwood Rd, Napa, CA 94558 Phone:(707) 255-1144 Inglenook — VERY cool old building, owned by Francis Ford Coppola. He has some of his oscars there. Their wines are very good, but they only do $50 sit down tastings with reservation. Cool spot but not mandatory. Call ahead. Address: 1991 St Helena Hwy, Rutherford, CA 94573 Phone:(800) 782-4266 https://www.inglenook.com/ http://www.yelp.com/biz/inglenook-rutherford-2 Chateau Montelena, Mondavi and Stags Leap — These are the elite / old guard wineries of Napa. Frankly, I think they are overrated, overpriced tourist traps and you’ll often get really shitty service when they realize you’re not a 1%-er. They can also be quite time-sucks (Montelena is a ways out, Mondavi is a huge estate and Stag’s Leap’s service is just straight up slow when they realize you’re not rich). That said, they’re all fantastic photo ops. Restaurants Lunch: Tacos Garcia (Taco truck in Yountville behind Pancha’s bar) — Best tacos in the valley. Go for the XL “alambre" tacos w/ gooey cheese and onions. They’re cash only (and cheap AF - $2 a taco) and amazing if you want a quick lunch. Address: Parking lot at 6764 Washington St, Yountville, CA 94599 Phone:(707) 980-4896 http://www.yelp.com/biz/tacos-garcia-yountville-2 http://www.seriouseats.com/2010/01/two-great-lunches-in-wine-country-napa-valley-california-oakville-yountville-taco-truck-garcia-grocery.html Oakville Grocery (Oakville Grade) — Great sandwiches in a cute little market. I usually stop there for lunch on my way upvalley for tasting. They have a cute backyard with tables you can sit at, plus their sandwiches are huge enough to keep you fairly sober throughout a full day of tasting. Pricey, but a Napa tradition. Address: 7856 St Helena Hwy, Oakville, CA 94562 Phone:(707) 944-8802 http://www.oakvillegrocery.com/ http://www.yelp.com/biz/oakville-grocery-oakville Hog Island Oyster Co in Oxbow Market (Napa) — Best oysters I’ve ever had, best cole slaw I’ve ever had, plus their seasonal salads are way better than they have any business being. Nice beer list and outdoor dining deck, too. It’s also a great break from heavy meals if you get sick of them. Address: 610 1st St #22, Napa, CA 94559 Phone:(707) 251-8113 https://hogislandoysters.com/visit/napa http://www.yelp.com/biz/hog-island-oyster-co-napa Dinner: Goose and Gander (St. Helena) — Amazing food and cocktails at the end of Highway 29. It’s in this great converted Craftsman home, so the setting is really rustic and romantic. Perfect place for dinner after wine tasting. “Game” kind of vibe - bone marrow, fois gras, etc. Address: 1245 Spring St, St Helena, CA 94574 Phone:(707) 967-8779 http://www.goosegander.com/ http://www.yelp.com/biz/goose-and-gander-st-helena Farmstead at Long Meadow Ranch (St. Helena) — My favorite restaurant in Napa. Top notch farm to table food. Everything is seasonal and from their own garden, plus they make their own wine and it’s actually good. Address: 738 Main St, St Helena, CA 94574 Phone:(707) 963-4555 http://www.longmeadowranch.com/Farmstead http://www.yelp.com/biz/farmstead-at-long-meadow-ranch-saint-helena Mustards Grill (In between Yountville and St. Helena) — Mindy's favorite of the Napa old guard restaurants. Food is as exceptional as it’s always been, but the place does get hectic because it’s on the Food Network all the time. The Mongolian Pork Chop is worthy of the hype, though. Get a reservation! Address: 7399 St Helena Hwy, Napa, CA 94558 Phone:(707) 944-2424 http://mustardsgrill.com/ http://www.yelp.com/biz/mustards-grill-napa Bounty Hunter (Napa) — Awesome BBQ and bourbon selection. Address: 975 1st St, Napa, CA 94559 Phone:(707) 226-3976 http://www.bountyhunterwinebar.com/ http://www.yelp.com/biz/bounty-hunter-wine-bar-and-smokin-bbq-napa If you have the cash: The French Laundry, Bouchon, Solage, Auberge are all Napa can’t-go-wrong classics, but you’ll pay up for them.

  • Viva Haley

    I can give you my thoughts on the text. **My self-summary** >Hey I'm Justin. Currently I spend most of my free time at the gym or at home writing. Recently discovered a love of the outdoors so hiking and camping are on my to do list. When I can I try and squeeze a movie and reading in as much as possible. Amiable but diffuse. It's good to have such a broad range of interests and pursuits, but jamming them all together in your introduction makes it sound a little bit like you're trying to be all things to all people. If this were a description of a character in your writing, you'd have no idea yet what this person is *like* yet in a sense that makes him compelling. That is, there's nothing capping off this collection of activities in an overarching sense ("I'm trying to throw myself into everything life has to offer") or in a hobby-inhabitation sense ("I found a pool of placid reflection on a hike a month ago and I try to carry something of that with me"). Well, that last parenthetical is a little overblown, but you get my point, right? These details aren't bad, but I'd like to see you *make something* of them. >I want to travel, take more day trips, weekend trips, and go on random adventures. I want to try new things like white water rafting, skydiving, and surfing! This is an arguable point, so definitely get second, third, etc. opinions, but I'm always a little leery of people who summarize themselves by things they're *not* doing. If this is really central to your vision of the good life, I'd suggest either making the invitation here explicit (maybe a little corny but appealing, I think) or doing pretty much the same thing by moving it to your "message me if" section. **What I’m doing with my life** >Currently working for the state to support my passion for writing. Write a blog and just started my first novel! Writing puts me in great mood and makes my day so I'm super excited that I've got those projects off the ground. Good. Now, since you've mentioned writing twice and presumable piqued the curiosity of the literary-minded, you'll want to reward that curiosity later in your favorite books section with something more insightful than a list. **I’m really good at** >Writing, pool, getting lost, board games, public speaking, staying positive, this isn't the right place, cooking, origami, and wait where the hell am I? Fine, although despite the self-deprecating distracted act, this is another section with an "I am awesome at everything" undertone. Be careful to orient those descriptions outward, so that they sound like things in the world you take pleasure in, things you can share, rather than insistences upon your own awesomeness in a "president of my own fan club recruiting a vice president" kind of way. By the way, what kind of origami? I'm partial to [geometrical origami](http://neutrinoprism.tumblr.com/tagged/origami) myself but I cut my teeth on Dover animal origami books. **The first things people usually notice about me** >My teeth. They're pretty straight and my dentist asked if I had braces when I was younger. Spoiler alert, I didn't. "Allow me to impregnate you so that our offspring will have superior genes." (Just kidding, this is fine.) **Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food** >Books: Classics, and Harry Potter of course NOOOOOOO For my part, I think it's a huge red flag when someone says they're devoted to an art form but doesn't have anything significant to communicate about their tastes. You're a repeatedly self-professed writer, so you'll want to reward the interest of readers who like that. You can do that by sharing something insightful your favorites or you can do that by being writerly in your approach to the prompts. (Maybe both.) When you *don't* share that with your reader, when you withdraw that payoff, it bodes ill for future conversations about something that's presumably a source of pleasure, pride, and meaning in your life. Really disappointing gesture here. (And I don't even know if "classics" means Hemingway or Horace!) As for the rest of the listy section, let me copy-paste my usual story about what worked well for me here in garnering the kinds of conversations I wanted: A couple of my favorite music genres are sixties British folk revival and old-school progressive rock, and I like unusually constructed music in general. But instead of listing those bands, eventually I put "bands that sound like ren faire buskers" and "bands that sound like ren faire buskers with Moogs" on my profile. That actually netted a couple fun conversations! I also said I loved music in weird time signatures, and on one of a string of dates I had with a really likable lawyer (ultimately no spark, but good company nonetheless) we alternated song picks, passing headphones back and forth, and had each other figure out the meters of various songs. So delightful! Now, the woman I ultimately married doesn't have a lot of musical overlap with me. I mean, we enjoyed a Clientele concert together, we regularly attend events at a music center within walking distance from where we live now, and sometimes we play "song judge" for song-of-the-day podcasts, but in general I'm not that into her country music tastes and some of my favorite music has literally given her a headache. But, she's a reader and she was really impressed with how I framed a certain book list. I had a four-item list of "books that made me cry on a plane." She hadn't read any of the books I mentioned, but she did like the display of vulnerability intermingled with reading habits. She's told me that that list — or rather, the framing of that list — really charmed her. Short version: show your reader your personality, not just your stuff. **The six things I could never do without** One listy section after another will make your reader's eyes glaze over. **I spend a lot of time thinking about** >My writing and usually the endings. Endings are the hardest part. After your nothing of a booklist, I'm soured on the whole "writing" thing. It's definitely in the "I'm so awesome" rather than "let me share this with you" category at this point. **On a typical Friday night I am** Fine. **The most private thing I’m willing to admit** Fine, although it is going in a bunch of directions at once. I can't tell you if those will broaden your appeal in an additive way or circumscribe it in an intersectional way. Overall, I like your enthusiasm and broadness of interests. I do think you could benefit from more pensiveness. Add some dimension to the multitude of interests here. The "what it's like" of your life is just as important to long-term compatibility as the "what" of your life, in my opinion, and I think that interiority here is underserved, *especially*, aggravatingly so, in the "writing" department. Now, just so you know where I'm coming from: I had a ludicrously long, loopy profile, including three complete poems, two originals and the full text of Marianne Moore's "To a Snail." I regularly went on dates with wordy, witty women and I'm now married to a blazingly bright word-lover who works professionally as a translator. I'm not going to recommend such an excess as a matter of course, but I *can* push back against the succinctness fetishizers who think the height OkCupidery is like the "baby shoes" six word story. Be as blabby as you wanna be if you can make your material good. It'll be catnip for the right kitten. Put another way: excess in the pursuit of repartee is no vice. Anyway, I hope my thoughts are of some use to you. Best of luck.

  • Stephania Schimmel

    What's up ya shits daddy Fan Rotom's here to write a fucking novel about his heterosexual angst because he's feeling like shit and doesn't feel like talking to his irl friends about it. For some background, here's an incredibly awkward and personal fact about me: I have never had any interest of any kind in romance. When my friends at school started to go out with girls towards the end of primary school, I looked on feeling perplexed and out of place. But in time I got over feeling bad about it. I started to notice that a lot of these relationships tended to end in disaster. At best, people broke up and cried about it for a bit before getting over it, at worst, people got pregnant at 14 to drug dealers who leave them immediately (this actually happened to someone I knew lmao). So I didn't feel upset that I couldn't experience these emotions that other people did. If anything, I felt a bit haughty about it. I won't say that I was ever enough of an arrogant twat to think that people who got into relationships were irrational beings who let human emotions get in the way of cold, calculated, logic, but I probably did feel like that a bit somewhere deep inside of me. So I went through primary and secondary school, then college (which is 16-18 to you non-Brit savages out there) without ever feeling anything resembling attraction towards anything 3D (Aigis from Persona 3 doesn't count). A few months ago, I started university. I study Japanese, but I'm already fluent (it's a long story...), so I got put in the advanced language classes. Not many people take Japanese degrees in the UK, and even fewer people study it to a high level before going to uni. What this is leading up to, basically, is that there was actually one other new student in this class, a girl I will call Rikka because she is literally Rikka from Chuunibyou given human flesh. Me and Rikka got along real well from the start. We're both fairly serious when it comes to our studies and we have very similar levels of Japanese knowledge. We're also both horrible weebs with awful social awkwardness and very strange and morbid ways of thinking. Plus, since language lessons are fairly frequent so we see each other literally every weekday, so it wasn't long before we became really close friends. You can probably see where this is going. I don't know when I started liking her, honestly. It was either at the start of the first semester, when we first talked to each other (she made a fairly strong impression), or at the end, when she gave me a Christmas card she had made and decorated herself, thanking me for being her friend and having weird conversations with her until 2 in the morning. In either case, it took a while before I realised it myself. I spent my Christmas break at home, feeling fairly depressed and not really knowing the reason why. I met up with friends from school, talked to them about what I was doing in university, and the friends I had made. According to some of of the friends I've told about this now, it was apparently really obvious that I really liked this girl, even though I had no idea myself at the time. Eventually, the next semester started again and I started to notice myself that I was staring at her a lot more. When we talked, my stomach would hurt a little and my heart would beat faster. You may have trouble believing someone this dense could actually exist, but yes, I was an anime character and still did not realise what I was feeling. Fairly early on in the semester, I saw that the local student theatre was putting on a production of a Shakespeare play. I'm a literature nerd, and tickets were pretty cheap, so I thought I'd go see it on my own, as I'd usually do since surprisingly enough most people my age don't think The Bard is "hip". Damn youngsters... But then I remembered, Rikka is actually really into literature as well, so I worked up the nerve to ask if she wanted to come along with me. Looking back the fact that it was difficult to ask her should have been a dead giveaway, but I'm a bit of a walking black hole here so please forgive me. In any case, she said yes and we met up and walked to the theatre together. It was a fairly bland performance all in all but I still remember it so well. Sitting right next to her, chatting to her about the characters and their development during the intermission, sharing some crisps we bought from the concessions, and so on made the whole night unforgettable. Eventually, the play ended and we went our separate ways back home. And on the way back, my heart was beating so hard I felt like I had just run down a hill. My stomach was in sheer pain. I couldn't stop thinking about the last few hours. It took my legs shaking so bad I could barely walk to finally realise. Fuck. I really like her. What do you do in this situation? I don't really know. My only exposure to these sorts of situations before has been shoujo romance animu. I have literally no idea what normal people do when they feel like this. Plus, realising this threw my entire identity for a loop. Something I thought was a core facet of myself, not experiencing these feelings, had just totally disappeared. It took ages for me to get to sleep that night, and I barely got any sleep. I woke up at four and stayed in bed feeling like shit until I dragged myself out to grab some breakfast, only to burst into tears over my toast. Immediately I told one of my friends about it, since she's knowledgeable about these things and I thought she could probably help me out. It's probably thanks to her advice and listening to me during extended whine sessions that I've managed to keep things under control. But after a while, I started to feel unsatisfied with the advice she was giving me (and I feel shitty and guilty for it because it's honest and fair advice but I don't want to listen to it). She thought I should give up on any thoughts of taking these feelings further, since she didn't think I could make a relationship work. I'm really bad with physical contact, which is something she's aware of. I literally don't let anyone except a tiny number of people I'm extremely close to touch me at all. I'm actually so bad with it that I've had a panic attack from someone just holding my hand once. Since being in a relationship involves at least some degree of physical contact she thought it would be impossible for me to make one work, so she recommended I just wait until these feelings fade away. But I just don't want to. That's all it comes down to. The following few weeks can basically be summed up by me feeling really, *really* shit for a long time. Constant stomach pains from anxiety, little sleep, no enthusiasm for anything, etc. It's actually been a bit annoying because I've fallen behind on my studies a bit because instead of reading books, doing homework, or working on essays, I've preferred to participate in extended sessions of assuming the foetal position in bed during my afternoons. I also told another friend I've made at uni (who I'll call Makoto to keep going with the Chuunibyou thing), who was a lot more enthusiastic about getting us together but only because he wasn't aware of the physical contact problem (I actually told two other people as well but even though there's funny stories about that it's not particularly relevant so I'll stop this digression before this comment turns into War and Peace). But actually I started to gradually get over it. The anxiety didn't disappear. It occasionally made very ugly reappearances after long periods of going very well. But for the most part, I learned to live with it, get back into my studies, and actually get closer to Rikka as well.

  • Cameron Hilll

    **comment content**: Well here is the article if you haven't read it already. I wasn't inclined to so, but I saw your username and would do what I can to assist the elder and the Howard Foundation. I have been trying to write this for a while, but the morphine and lack of juicy cheeseburgers (what has it been now, five weeks without real food?) have drained my energy and interfered with whatever prose prowess remains. Additionally, the intermittent micronaps that keep whisking me away midsentence are clearly not propelling my work forward as quickly as I would like. But they are, admittedly, a bit of trippy fun. Still, I have to stick with it, because I’m facing a deadline, in this case, a pressing one. I need to say this (and say it right) while I have a) your attention, and b) a pulse. I have been married to the most extraordinary man for 26 years. I was planning on at least another 26 together. Want to hear a sick joke? A husband and wife walk into the emergency room in the late evening on Sept. 5, 2015. A few hours and tests later, the doctor clarifies that the unusual pain the wife is feeling on her right side isn’t the no-biggie appendicitis they suspected but rather ovarian cancer. Continue reading the main story Advertisement Continue reading the main story As the couple head home in the early morning of Sept. 6, somehow through the foggy shock of it all, they make the connection that today, the day they learned what had been festering, is also the day they would have officially kicked off their empty-nestering. The youngest of their three children had just left for college. So many plans instantly went poof. No trip with my husband and parents to South Africa. No reason, now, to apply for the Harvard Loeb Fellowship. No dream tour of Asia with my mother. No writers’ residencies at those wonderful schools in India, Vancouver, Jakarta. No wonder the word cancer and cancel look so similar. This is when we entered what I came to think of as Plan “Be,” existing only in the present. As for the future, allow me to introduce you to the gentleman of this article, Jason Brian Rosenthal. He is an easy man to fall in love with. I did it in one day. Let me explain: My father’s best friend since summer camp, “Uncle” John, had known Jason and me separately our whole lives, but Jason and I had never met. I went to college out east and took my first job in California. When I moved back home to Chicago, John — who thought Jason and I were perfect for each other — set us up on a blind date. It was 1989. We were only 24. I had precisely zero expectations about this going anywhere. But when he knocked on the door of my little frame house, I thought, “Uh-oh, there is something highly likable about this person.” By the end of dinner, I knew I wanted to marry him. Jason? He knew a year later. I have never been on Tinder, Bumble or eHarmony, but I’m going to create a general profile for Jason right here, based on my experience of coexisting in the same house with him for, like, 9,490 days. First, the basics: He is 5-foot-10, 160 pounds, with salt-and-pepper hair and hazel eyes. The following list of attributes is in no particular order because everything feels important to me in some way. He is a sharp dresser. Our young adult sons, Justin and Miles, often borrow his clothes. Those who know him — or just happen to glance down at the gap between his dress slacks and dress shoes — know that he has a flair for fabulous socks. He is fit and enjoys keeping in shape. If our home could speak, it would add that Jason is uncannily handy. On the subject of food — man, can he cook. After a long day, there is no sweeter joy than seeing him walk in the door, plop a grocery bag down on the counter, and woo me with olives and some yummy cheese he has procured before he gets to work on the evening’s meal. Jason loves listening to live music; it’s our favorite thing to do together. I should also add that our 19-year-old daughter, Paris, would rather go to a concert with him than anyone else. When I was working on my first memoir, I kept circling sections my editor wanted me to expand upon. She would say, “I’d like to see more of this character.” Of course, I would agree — he was indeed a captivating character. But it was funny because she could have just said: “Jason. Let’s add more about Jason.” He is an absolutely wonderful father. Ask anyone. See that guy on the corner? Go ahead and ask him; he’ll tell you. Jason is compassionate — and he can flip a pancake. Jason paints. I love his artwork. I would call him an artist except for the law degree that keeps him at his downtown office most days from 9 to 5. Or at least it did before I got sick. If you’re looking for a dreamy, let’s-go-for-it travel companion, Jason is your man. He also has an affinity for tiny things: taster spoons, little jars, a mini-sculpture of a couple sitting on a bench, which he presented to me as a reminder of how our family began. Here is the kind of man Jason is: He showed up at our first pregnancy ultrasound with flowers. This is a man who, because he is always up early, surprises me every Sunday morning by making some kind of oddball smiley face out of items near the coffeepot: a spoon, a mug, a banana. This is a man who emerges from the minimart or gas station and says, “Give me your palm.” And, voilà, a colorful gumball appears. (He knows I love all the flavors but white.) My guess is you know enough about him now. So let’s swipe right. Wait. Did I mention that he is incredibly handsome? I’m going to miss looking at that face of his. If he sounds like a prince and our relationship seems like a fairy tale, it’s not too far off, except for all of the regular stuff that comes from two and a half decades of playing house together. And the part about me getting cancer. Blech. In my most recent memoir (written entirely before my diagnosis), I invited readers to send in suggestions for matching tattoos, the idea being that author and reader would be bonded by ink. I was totally serious about this and encouraged submitters to be serious as well. Hundreds poured in. A few weeks after publication in August, I heard from a 62-year-old librarian in Milwaukee named Paulette. She suggested the word “more.” This was based on an essay in the book where I mention that “more” was my first spoken word (true). And now it may very well be my last (time shall tell). In September, Paulette drove down to meet me at a Chicago tattoo parlor. She got hers (her very first) on her left wrist. I got mine on the underside of my left forearm, in my daughter’s handwriting. This was my second tattoo; the first is a small, lowercase “j” that has been on my ankle for 25 years. You can probably guess what it stands for. Jason has one too, but with more letters: “AKR.” I want more time with Jason. I want more time with my children. I want more time sipping martinis at the Green Mill Jazz Club on Thursday nights. But that is not going to happen. I probably have only a few days left being a person on this planet. So why I am doing this? I am wrapping this up on Valentine’s Day, and the most genuine, non-vase-oriented gift I can hope for is that the right person reads this, finds Jason, and another love story begins. I’ll leave this intentional empty space below as a way of giving you two the fresh start you deserve. **subreddit**: books **submission title**: Amy Krause Rosenthal's article "You May Want to Marry My Husband" just broke my heart **redditor**: DetN8 **comment permalink**: https://www.reddit.com/r/books/comments/5xde4o/amy_krause_rosenthals_article_you_may_want_to/dehvn8i

  • Theo Doyle

    **Update: ** So I have a lengthy, unexpected mini-update. I figured it might come in handy if someone ever reads this and feels like they are in the same situation. I’m not saying I’ve found any solutions, but I do feel I’ve learned some stuff and made some progress that might help me forward. First, I want to thank everyone who has contributed to this thread. As I mentioned I was completely stuck, so every single answer, no matter how far-fetched has been of help, if not only to get the gears in my mind grinding trying to exclude or analyze possible explanations. I’ve went ahead and done two things. First, I’ve made an appointment with a therapist specializing in sex-related issues. I don’t actually think this is going to solve anything, but I do believe it will be beneficial to learning how to talk about sex more naturally. I don’t mind that much, but I sometimes cramp up and don’t know what to say, especially when talking about what I want. Secondly, I went ahead and downloaded some books. I’ve started with Come as you are. Now, Ive stayed away from these things up until now because I find most of the language used kind of cringey. People using ‘beautiful’ and ‘vagina’ in the same sentence just sounds weird and off-putting to me. Come as you are has some of that, but it wasn’t off-putting at all, and I really did learn a lot of new stuff. Most importantly it made me realize I don’t hate sex. **Furthermore;** I have never been the kind of person to initiate. Unless I am in a highly sexual setting, it’s not going to cross my mind, and thus no initiating. When I get sexual cues I pick up on that and I might respond. However; I’m less attentive to sexual cues than others (my partner included). I just don’t relate sex to ..most things, and it takes me a while to get turned on – or at least a very clear expectation of sex. A post here made me realize I’m usually more up for sex when alcohol is involved. I think this is probably because I expect_ sex after alcohol (either because its part of a date night, because I go out with friends and miss my SO, or because my SO goes out with friends and tells me he misses me. so subconsciously I think I’m kind of grooming myself for sex just by knowing that we have plans to go out and I get excited – not by the thought of sex directly, but because I know it’s probably going to happen. I’m prepared for the possibility and more easily relate stuff to sex. Now, before – when things were new and we saw each other less – I more or less knew that we were going to have sex whenever I went to his place, so I was prepared for it mentally and physically (had showered, was feeling good etc.) – and the thought of sex was there, more or less as a kind of constant foreplay throughout the day. With the thought there, it was easier to pick up on small cues – his hand on my neck, noticing how nice he smelled – and attribute it to sex, not just affection. Constant, tiny reminders that the situation was sexual. Now, we see each other more often, and the context has shifted. That shift is natural, we see each other more – and we do everyday stuff that isn’t always going to be sex. Sometimes he is tired, sometimes I am, sometimes we just want to build some Lego together instead. The situation has become kind of sexually diluted, and I don’t connect just being together with sex anymore – as I did earlier in the relationship when I kind of expected sex to happen at any time. Again, natural shift in context, but its not as detectable in him, who can get aroused quite quickly. My SO can come up to me while cooking and instantly be turned on and ready to go after some touching - while I’m there thinking “Wait what..what about dinner? I thought we were doing dinner!” I think maybe the resentment I’ve been feeling towards sex stems from those times when I’ve been a few steps behind my partner when it comes to arousal. His arousal kind of blindsides me, and when he is already super into it and immersed, I easily just feel kind of left out and objectified cause my mind hasn’t adjusted from whatever I was doing to sex and whatever that entails. Now, I don’t mind the whole “I want you so bad I just want to do you right here”-thing, Sometimes that’s pretty hot, but when the difference in where we are are at arousal-wise means 80% of the sex is him being really turned on and me suddenly having to adjust from “This stew is gonna be awesome with some thyme” to “Wait, thyme-time is over and now sex? Do I even want that? Is it even going to be worth it when he is all worked up already and I’m not even close yet? Man, I was so stoked about this thyme..” Sooo, basically I have to abort whatever I’m doing and do something I haven’t even considered if I want to do yet, and when I don’t even know if I want sex I get kind of disconnected, not as engaged, while he still is, and the sex gets kind of one-sided and mostly about him- which AGAIN makes me feel like I just got blitzed and have to rearrange a lot of stuff for mediocre sex that I didn’t even feel part of. Because of sexaftermath I have to shower– which can take forever if I have to wash my hair, blow dry etcetctetct, find clothes not covered in sexjuice, reapply makeup. You get the idea. Those instances of sex (which have sadly become more frequent as I feel bad about the whole thing) has made me feel like I’m left with a bunch of boring consequences for subpar sex, and additionally feeling like a problem for it. Sex kind of became his thing, not ours anymore, I was just a problematic cog in the sexing. . Not a good mix. So I know this is rambly, but the point I want to make is my resentment hasn’t been with him, but it is just as dangerous and corroding and I need to deal with it asap. Its ruining how I feel about sex in general, and its making me feel like a problem, when the reality is probably just that I/we need to work on getting my mind on sex earlier than right before its happening, so I don’t feel so out of tune with what he’s feeling. The resentment has been developing because some of the sex we do have feels like an out of nowhere blitz attack because I did not attribute his cues to sex. Focusing on me during that sex hasn’t helped, because I hadn’t even adjusted properly to the idea of sex at that time, I wasn’t even close to or in the early stages of arousal – or even more important – immersion, so whatever we actually did it just felt meh and also like we were trying to ‘fix’ me. I still don’t know exactly how to deal, but just having some kind of overview of the situation and the ability to find a game plan is a relief. My SO and I are still a team, but I also feel like I kind of want to try and fix parts of this without him, so I don’t feel so much as the problem. While I am going to talk to him about this, I think I’m also going to try to just decide that some days are sex-days without telling him for a while. That way I can kind of prep myself mentally throughout the day, and maybe be more in sync with him arousal-wise when I do see him. I tried this yesterday and it felt pretty good. Weirdly it gave me a strange sense of arousal just knowing to myself that what for him seemed like impromptu sex on my part was actually something I’d been thinking about and looking forward to all day. This thread shifted my perspective a lot. I don’t know if I’m right about any of this, but at least it feels pretty good having something to work on and some kind of game plan.

  • Susan Bosco

    >My husband and I married last year. We've known each other for 14 years and have dated for a total of 6 years before getting married 2 years ago. So she knows who this man is. She knows how he is. She knows what she got herself into. 14 years.. this can't be a surprise. >He's always been very protective and caring of me. As a good captain should be >Currently, I am 5 months pregnant with our daughter and it's just starting to show. It's my first pregnancy and he treats me like a literal china doll. I'm assuming from here on out this is his first baby too since they have been together so long and he has new dad syndrome. >At 3 months, he stopped letting me drink coffee. Not a big deal. This is just common sense. Along with drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes. My baby daddy even forbade me from eating chocolate. That was cause he didn't know. Instead of fighting about it, I just went along because it is his baby too. NO BIG FUCKING DEAL. >Now he's pressuring me not to drive. Whenever we go somewhere, it's always him that's driving. I work from home, so it doesn't affect me THAT much, but still. I wish I never had to drive anywhere. haha. Personal preference aside. WHO CARES! Let the man drive you around. Enjoy the ride. Enjoy his doting. >Last week we were going to a party and I wanted to wear high heels (3 in. pumps) but he vetoed it, saying that it was unsafe. I told him that i've been wearing high heels for more than 12 years and it's basically like wearing running shoes to me, but he was adamant and said that I'd never worn heels while pregnant and told me to just wear flats. I agreed because I thought he had a good point. Yes he made a good point. But also your center of balance changes when you are pregnant. Maybe not so much at 5 months but again his ignorance on exactly when that happens isn't uncommon in first time dads. He is coming from a loving place and wants to protect you. So what if you don't wear heels for 4 months. >Yesterday night, my friend wanted me to go out for dinner with her. I was about to go but my husband stopped me and told me that I shouldn't, because it "wasn't safe". We live in a big city but in a good neighbourhood so I never felt UNSAFE but stil he kept on saying how there's so many fucked up people in the world and that I should just lie low and stay at home. So this is where some of her responses to other questions have come into play. She states repeatedly that this man is an alpha and likes thing done in a certain way. Not necessarily in those terms but says that yes he is controlling but it's not bad for her as she sees it as him being protective. What is the difference now? Oh there is a baby that the protectiveness is extending to. So she is now being a mama bear and trying to take on the role as protector herself. >I'm at the end of my rope. My husband is upping his protectiveness so much it's bordering on controlling. That was the 4th event I said no to because he's afraid of me venturing out the house. If you look before, she says he doesn't want her driving. Well duh he doesn't want you to go out alone. You would have to drive. I think it would a compromise to ask him to taxi her back and forth so that he knows she is safe and gets to see her friends. That would be how it works out for me. Have they tried this? Who knows. But it seems like she is just digging in her heels because she NEEEEEDS to go out. >The only other social things I attend nowadays are when I'm with him, and it's usually to hang out with his family. I feel cooped up at home and I'm seriously getting stir crazy. But you just said that you do go to social events with him? Which is it? >Our 6 year old cat now lives temporarily at his brother's house because he's afraid of me getting toxoplasmosis. I don't know anything about this but again sounds like a thing that could happen and he is just being overly cautious as a new dad. >I'm also not allowed to eat fish--not just raw, but ANY kind of fish from haddock to tuna to salmon is off limits. Tuna IS off limits. >I wouldn't mind these parts so much if I was just allowed to go outside. He always has to accompany me when we go outside the house, but he leaves work late so he can't even do that very often. SO ALLLL OF THAT YOU DONT CARE ABOUT AND IT IS REALLY THIS??? Then why the fuck mention any of it at all? >He's still very affectionate to me and always praises me on my pregnancy glow, stuff like that. He tries to make me as comfortable as possible. E.g. he found me a renowned OB-GYN, one of the best in our city. He also reads up on a lot of pregnancy and childbirth books and he's obsessed with me getting enough to eat. I've always been super skinny and even though I've gained weight he always says that I should gain more. Sometimes he even gets annoyed at me if I don't finish my plate. What a dick bag!! How dare he provide all this wonderful stuff to a woman who is in a delicate position. He needs to back the fuck off /s >I feel like I'm 10 years old again, except I had more freedom then. Ahhh freedom. That is what it is. She is seeing what it means to be a wife/mother. You get no freedom homey. You get to be accountable to two people now. Yeah it is your body, but you decided to have a baby with this man and need to also take his desires into account. That was your choice. You had the freedom to choose and now you must live with it. But why just 'live with it'. He is being loving and supportive. Jesus fucking christ woman! >Even my parents never set up so many rules for me. What cares what your parents did? >I understand my husband wants the best for me and that he' super involved in this pregnancy which is great, That should be your only concern. The rest is temporary til you pop the baby out. >but I just want to step outside and go for a walk around the park by myself. I hate being treated like a child, Then stop acting like one. A petulant one at that. >I've told him this and we've had many an argument over it. Ok so now you are arguing while you are pregnant with the father of your child.. your husband? Over taking a walk. That doesn't seem like it is healthy. You are not making good choices here are you? >He just tells me that he wants the best for me and our daughter. How do I tell him to take a chill pill? You want him to stop wanting the best for you and your daughter? You want him to chill out with that? OMG lady you crazy. Now it also came to light that he hid the keys from her so she couldn't go out. And people are crying ABUSE all over the place (hence the post name). But honestly I see a few things going on here. 1. She doesn't fully grasp that some of the things he is asking her to do are actually founded on real things (eg heels, tuna, etc) 2. She acknowledges that she sees that he is coming from a good place. 3. Her idea of being the protector is rearing its ugly head and trying to supersede his. Which is not her job to do. **MAJOR POINT HERE** So to me it is no wonder why he is going to the extreme in hiding the keys. She isn't really being smart about her own pregnancy.

  • Evans Blick

    Haha, yea i mean i don't want to knock the reaction videos. I think reviewers are making business decisions based on their branding. So they see that demographic wanting that and are trying to supply the demand. I heard a funny theory that reaction videos are needed for ADHD sufferers. ADHD, is no laughing matter in itself but it kinda explains why those videos are needed for a younger generation. I'm an older head. So i think what i'd like to fulfill is the 30-40 somethings that grew up on comic books and wanna watch a review where you approach from my age brackett without being a clown lol. Hey if i was good at it and getting millions of views and making thousands of dollar per month i'd do it too, lol. I just don't know how to do it, lol. When the CW pulls from the comic books yes that's what i really like. Especially when they bring the characters from the comics that don't get any screen time. So i like Supergirl i just don't know if i care for the network. When they did smallville and it was the first of it's kind of show like that. I liked it then. Seemingly after smallville it kinda went down for me. I did like the first few seasons of the flash and arrow. However, unlike smallville it stopped holding my attention. So CW is good with taking comic book shows that's probably why Supergirl moved from CBS to the CW. However, i think that the CW wants more than the comic book fans. I think they want the teen drama watchers to watch supergirl and people that aren't geeks. I really think Supergirl makes a general powerful woman statement. We get this one scene where Mon-EL is left in the bed and Supergirl leaves him to wake up by himself, lol. He's complaining about not being able to wake up with her. She's out buying breakfast and off like its nothing, lol. I may have a daughter one day and i want my daughter to feel like a strong and worthy young woman. So that scene wasn't a problem for me. The point is though i can see the social commentary being made with Supergirl in a way where it can get viewers other than comic book watchers, lol. So i think i'd like to see a DC show done on a network like netflix or something like that. Similar to what Marvel is doing. I prefer DC storylines better than Marvel. However i still like at this point much better how Marvel are doing it's Netflix shows. Speaking of Mon-EL that's a great question about why he's weaker the show never answered that i could recall. I never knew much about Mon-EL and the planet Daxon from the comics. Only thing i recall was that Mon-EL in the comics at one time i believe took the place of Superboy. I thought in the comics he could fly and do various things. They have powered him down obviously so he's not in competition with Supergirl, lol. Which i'm okay with that to a degree. I don't know the reason in the comics he would be weaker or on the show for certain. However i do have a theory that could explain it. If we consider the older Superman comics, the original Superman couldn't fly either. He would just leap a great distance. He was greatly powered down. He only got powered up as the comic got popular. If we go on the original Superman concept. Superman was stronger on earth mainly due to the planet krypton being much larger and having a stronger gravitational pull. So his physiology was much more stronger.So maybe Daxon is a much smaller planet than krypton? The show doesn't seem like they are even going to address it. Mon-EL is affected by the Red Sun. He loses his powers too when exposed to the Red Sun. Kryptonite radiation doesn't seem to effect him as far as i could see either. Is it only that kryptonians are only subsceptible to kryptonite? I thought Daxamites were kryptonians originally. However some type of planetary evolution changed them? No idea. Cyborg superman thing is weird. Yea i remember in the beginning everyone thought Jahn would be cyborg, and then they just made him Martian Manhunter lol. You're right its quite a bit of information can be sifted through, good points. I do like theory videos as well. They do some on Supergirl every now and then. I haven't watched any yet. I do know they've done some on Mon-EL. Yea, i think with Jeremiah Danvers and Elisha.. Jeremiah made this deal with Cadmus. So i'm assuming he has their best interest in mind. However, he's making a deal with the devil. So in his mind he may feel ultimately in the end things will work out. However, provided he can trust Cadmus, lol. So he may have been sincere in that setup. He's just going about things the wrong way. Yea i agree alot of the storylines could have used a bit more clarity. I think with Ms Martian the suggestion was she's tired of running and being hunted. I recall Jahn was very much against her returning and that she would possibly be killed. However i think what they were trying to say is that she's like that person that goes.. Funk this i'm tired of running, lol. We end this right here and right now. She does tell Jahn they will hunt me wherever i go. So seems to be going in that direction. I liked that they gave James something to do with the Guardian. However, they all are very one dimensional characters. I think that's why i like Mon-EL so much. Mon-EL is for me the most complex character of the show. He's the one keeping secrets that can possibly hurt and change things. He's the one that doesn't seemingly have a complete moral compass yet. He wanted to kill Mxyzptlk. So you never know what you gonna get with him. That's interesting to me. One of my issues with the CW is the bubble gum writing, lol. Again we gotta serve the younger demographic. Not the 30-40 demographic. Off topic a bit but my youtube analytics give me most traffic from 25-35. So that right there for my reviews and videos lose the biggest youtube demographic there is, lol. or the 13-18. However, thats the demographic i wanna serve. It needs to be a place for people like me on youtube, that wants to watch supergirl and have a beer, lol. You're right though because it does borrow from the comics and give nods. There is alot of content out there. So i like all the CW shows. I understand that's the go to place for the cable channel superhero shows right now. However i can't wait to the defenders and Iron fist and jessica jones to be honest with you. I think my age and how i think better serves that type of show. That show is also outside that younger demographic .. unless they just sneak and watch it, lol. Good points though. I may get into some theory videos later on with important storylines. So right now i think i'm looking forward to a bit more grittier superhero shows i can sink my teeth in, lol.

  • Will Fadel

    National Socialism, is National Socialism. A race based nation that furthers private property and initiative to the full extent based on talent and ingenuity. Unlimited funds went to sciences that would revolutionize society regardless if free/synthetic energy would hurt the oil companies revenue, free of these restrictive regulations. Fascism is a corporatist state where being Italian etc. was a "feeling" that if you "felt" italian then they would make you Italian. lol @ waiting 10 minutes between commenting. Gotta love that debatefascism policy. Give plenty of time for mouth breathers to tag team you making it impossible to respond to a flood of bs. National Socialism is not Fascism. Fascism was never mentioned in any of the parties that evolved into the NSDAP. National Socialism is about a racial and national revival. Fascism is the idea that you can spread your culture to others and "make them" into your nationality. Race? It is a feeling, not a reality. Ninety-five per cent, at least. Nothing will ever make me believe that biologically pure races can be shown to exist today.… National pride has no need of the delirium of race. Talks with Mussolini (1932) Benito Mussolini was a fierce anti-Semite, who proudly said that his hatred for Jews preceded Adolf Hitler's and vowed to "destroy them all," according to previously unpublished diaries by the Fascist dictator's longtime mistress. According to the diaries, Mussolini also talked about the warm reception he received from Hitler at the 1938 Munich conference — he called the German leader a "softy" — and attacked Pope Pius XI for his criticism of Nazism and Fascism. On a more intimate note, Mussolini was explicit about his sexual appetites for his mistress and said he regretted having affairs with several other women. The dairies kept by Claretta Petacci, Mussolini's mistress, between 1932 and 1938 are the subject of a book coming out this week entitled "Secret Mussolini." Excerpts were published Monday by Italy's leading daily Corriere della Sera and confirmed by publisher Rizzoli. Historians said the diaries appeared to be convincing and reinforced the image that Mussolini was strongly anti-Semitic, even though early on there was some Jewish support for his Fascist movement. But they cautioned that these are the diaries of the dictator's lover — not Mussolini himself — and therefore must be taken with an extra grain of salt. Corriere said the diaries shed new light on Mussolini, who had been seen as more obsequious toward the pope and "dubious" over Italy's racial laws, which led to widespread persecution of Italian Jews. ‘I have been a racist since 1921’ Many of the excerpts date to 1938, a crucial year during which Mussolini's Fascist regime passed the racial laws and Europe sealed its appeasement toward Nazi Germany at the Munich conference. "I have been a racist since 1921. I don't know how they can think I'm imitating Hitler," Mussolini is quoted as boasting in August 1938. "We must give Italians a sense of race." Italy's racial laws restricted the rights of Jews and expelled them from government, university and other fields. In 1943, German troops occupied northern and central Italy, and thousands of Jews were deported. According to some researchers, there were 32,000 Jews in 1943 in Italy, of whom over 8,000 were deported to Nazi concentration camps. "These disgusting Jews, I must destroy them all," Mussolini was quoted as saying by his lover in October 1938. At another point he calls them "enemies" and "reptiles," according to the excerpts. Mussolini also denounced Pius XI, who saw the rise of anti-Semitism in the last years of his 1922-39 papacy, as harming the Catholic Church. Pius commissioned an encyclical to denounce racism and the violent nationalism of Germany, but he died before releasing it and it was never published. The Fascist dictator said that "there never was a pope as harmful to religion" as Pius XI and accused him of doing "undignified things, such as saying we are similar to the Semites," according to the excerpts. For years, the Vatican has struggled to defend Pius' successor — the wartime Pope Pius XII — against claims he didn't do enough to save Jews from the Holocaust. ‘Hitler is a big softy’ Mussolini had kind words for Hitler, whom he said was "very nice" and had tears in his eyes when he met the Italian dictator in Munich. "Hitler is a big softy, deep down," Mussolini is quoted as telling Petacci on Oct. 1, 1938, shortly after the conference. Mussolini also wrote to Petacci about his "mad desire" for her "little body" and his regret over having had relations with other women. "I adore you and I'm a fool. I mustn't make you suffer," he was quoted as saying. Mussolini and Petacci were shot by partisans on April 28, 1945, and their bodies were displayed to a jeering crowd hanging upside-down from a gas station in a Milan square. Piero Melograni, a historian who has written several books on Fascism and World War II, said the excerpts were "convincing in terms of the character that emerges and therefore the authenticity of the diaries." Historical significance in question He said the diaries appear to strengthen the notion of a strongly anti-Semitic Mussolini, as demonstrated by the 1938 laws and several speeches. But he said the personal quotes almost "humanize" him. Another prominent historian, Giovanni Sabbatucci, said that while he has no reason to doubt the authenticity of the diaries, he is less sure of their historical significance because they might not reflect Mussolini's real thoughts. "We must not forget that, even when authentic, we are reading what a mistress was writing about what her lover told her," he said in a phone interview. Sabbatucci said that while there is no doubt that Mussolini had developed a strong anti-Semitism in the later years of his life, historians are split as to when these sentiments began. The diaries appear to show he developed them earlier rather than later, but Sabbatucci was doubtful. "We must not take for granted that she correctly wrote what she was told. And we must not take for granted that what she was told was the truth and not some lover talk," said Sabbatucci, who teaches contemporary history at Rome's Sapienza University.

  • Bradford Bailey

    Here are my thoughts on the text as I read through. **My self-summary** >I enjoy exploring life and engaging my senses. Good mission statement, even if it is a bit vague. >To elaborate, Oh, good. >I'm open to new experiences and I try to get the most out of those experiences. That ... was not a very satisfying elaboration. Two reasons. First, it's still incredibly vague. To lean on perhaps an ill-considered gendered stereotype, this is like being asked *where do you want to eat honey?* and responding, hmm, yes, a dining establishment does sound appropriate. To elaborate, I would prefer one with comestible output, the likes of which I would find very satisfying. I'm caricaturing, but you get my point I hope. This strikes me as an airy recapitulation rather than a gripping elaboration. Second, it's all so passive. You're *open* to new experiences, but how do you find them? Is this something you're expecting your partner to provide? You *try* to get the most out of them, but what does that mean? Maybe instead of elaborating, you should exemplify instead. How would you *convince* your reader these traits were true of you? What could you say about your life to compel your reader to conclude wow, she's really on the lookout for my kind of delights, really sucking the marrow out of life. >I also enjoy doing things that expand my world and challenge me. I'm driven by curiosity. It would be terrific to meet someone like-minded. Same reaction here. These are all great things to aim for, but if you want to make the case indelibly, move some evidence up here near your abstract statements of principle. In the Writing 101 maxim, show, don't tell. (Well, it's fine to tell a little bit. But there should be at least one or two parts show for every part tell.) **What I’m doing with my life** Fine. Good to have some concrete details here. **I’m really good at** >teaching myself things. I taught myself how to play guitar. I haven't played in a while, but I go through periods when I play often. I'm troubled by the mix of claiming and disclaiming. Why are you immediately distancing yourself from this enticing detail? There's a definite "shrinking violet" undertone to your whole introduction so far. >My additional strengths are Quake 3 and head banging. Fun. **Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food** Nicely curated lists, but >My favourite living guitar players are Eric Clapton and Stevie Ray Vaughan [I have some bad news about SRV.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stevie_Ray_Vaughan#Death) So, are music and art things you're interested in talking about? You listed yourself as a curious sensation-seeker early on but I'm not seeing that personality trait play out your response to the prompts, unfortunately. The bashful self-negation, the remoteness of your introduction, the meagerness of details here: they all make it hard to tell what you really want to talk about. That is, your eager, conversational voice isn't coming through very clearly. You seem intelligent and thoughtful, I can infer that from your tone and some of the details, but you don't sound eager to engage in conversation. At least the way I read profiles. Anyway, if you do have real cool thoughts about art and this section is a gateway to good conversation, I can copy-paste my usual story about what worked well for me here to garner the kinds of conversations I was eager to have. Here goes: A couple of my favorite music genres are sixties British folk revival and old-school progressive rock, and I like unusually constructed music in general. But instead of listing those bands, eventually I put "bands that sound like ren faire buskers" and "bands that sound like ren faire buskers with Moogs" on my profile. That actually netted a couple fun conversations! I also said I loved music in weird time signatures, and on one of a string of dates I had with a really likable lawyer (ultimately no spark, but good company nonetheless) we alternated song picks, passing headphones back and forth, and had each other figure out the meters of various songs. So delightful! Now, the woman I ultimately married doesn't have a lot of musical overlap with me. I mean, we enjoyed a Clientele concert together, we regularly attend events at a music center within walking distance from where we live now, and sometimes we play "song judge" for song-of-the-day podcasts, but in general I'm not that into her country music tastes and some of my favorite music has literally given her a headache. But, she's a reader and she was really impressed with how I framed a certain book list. I had a four-item list of "books that made me cry on a plane." She hadn't read any of the books I mentioned, but she did like the display of vulnerability intermingled with reading habits. She's told me that that list — or rather, the framing of that list — really charmed her. So here's what to aim for: show your reader your personality, not just your stuff. **I spend a lot of time thinking about** >mindfulness. Again, this isn't framed in a way that engages the reader. **You should message me if** >you think we'll get along well :) This should be understood. I always like seeing future date ideas listed in this section. Doing so could reinforce your whole "exploring life" objective. Overall, this is a promising start, and you seem like you have some cool things in your life to share, but your profile frequently comes across as painfully shy and forbiddingly aloof. I'd like to see the wonderful traits you mention — seeking, mindfulness, curiosity — *play out* in your profile. Make those traits *resonate* in how you apply them to the prompts. If you'll allow your readers to be delighted by how those traits play out in your profile, you're already three steps ahead of your competition, pointing in the direction of long-term compatibility. Hope my thoughts are of some use to you. Best of luck.

  • Sigmund Balistreri

    **The Magnolia Electric Co.** by *Songs: Ohia* (2003) 5/10 I know everyone here seems to adore this but I really struggled to get into it. The songwriting is the best part of it, with some beautiful poetry in here, but I wasn’t a fan of the voice or the more country style of it. I wish I liked it more. Please don’t crucify me for this. Favorite Track: Hold On Magnolia **Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots** by *Flaming Lips* (2002) 10/10 This one had been hyped up to me for SO LONG, but I only just listened to it and it blew my expectations out of the water. This is one of the best albums I’ve ever heard. Incredibly fun, silly, and so relaxing. Beautifully composed, experimental enough to be so interesting, and just wow. This album was incredible. Favorite Track: Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots Part 1 **Hot Fuss** by *The Killers* (2004) 8/10 Only thing I’ve listened to by The Killers before was When You Were Young in like… Guitar Hero 3? I can’t even remember. They’re a great band. So fun to listen to. Energetic, and with an interesting style of crunched vocals and very clear guitars. I like it a lot and I’m excited to listen to more. Favorite Track: Somebody Told Me **Devotion** by *Beach House* (2008) 7/10 Not one of Beach House’s strongest efforts, but it has it’s fair share of beautiful relaxing songs. Favorite Track: Astronaut **Transatlanticism** by *Death Cab for Cutie* (2003) 8/10 I like this much more than *Plans* but I will always hold all Death Cab records up to the standard of excellence that is The Postal Service. This album is great though and has some of their better songs. Favorite Track: Transatlanticism **Sam’s Town** by *The Killers* (2006) 8/10 Not as good an album as *Hot Fuss*, but When You Were Young is a better song than anything on there which gives this extra points. I really like that song. I broke out the old Guitar Hero 3 after this album and played that song again. I love that song. Favorite Track: Enterlude (lol nope tricked you it’s When You Were Young) **Smile** by *Brian Wilson* (2004) 9/10 Of course this album is amazing and very close to being on the same tier as *Pet Sounds*, but the history behind it still confuses me a little. Favorite Track: Roll Plymouth Rock **Album** by *Girls* (2009) 8/10 Not quite as great as their phenomenal final album, but has all of the ingredients. Excellent and easy to listen to. Favorite Track: Lust For Life **Dear Catastrophe Waitress** by *Belle & Sebastian* (2003) 9/10 My first Belle & Sebastian record. It’s so sweet and beautiful. Some of these songs made my jaw drop. It’s just beautiful all around, would be the perfect soundtrack to a melancholy, quirky dramedy film. Favorite Track: Piazza, New York Catcher **Speakerboxxx/The Love Below** by *Outkast* (2003) 9/10 Outkast is undeniably fantastic. This album is so much fucking fun. Favorite Track: Hey Ya **Dirty Projectors** by *Dirty Projectors* (2017) 8/10 Someone described this perfectly when they said it was like *22, A Million* by Justin Timberlake. It’s that kind of production with a very different voice and style attached to it. Really great album, current #2 of the year so far. Favorite Track: Up in Hudson **Snowdonia** by *Surfer Blood* (2017) 6/10 Some nice, chill, surf rock, but ultimately a little boring. Favorite Track: Instant Doppelgangers **Kill the Moonlight** by *Spoon* (2002) 8/10 Never listened to Spoon before, but I should definitely listen to way more. This was amazing. Favorite track: The Way We Get By **Marry Me** by *St Vincent* (2007) 6/10 While Annie’s songwriting is typically quite good, I just can not get into her voice. It’s not very strong, and sometimes goes flat at the end of notes. I know that’s probably part of her charm, that she sounds like a normal person, but the imperfections are more annoying than charming to me. Again, great songwriting, just don’t like her voice. Favorite Track: Landmines **Microcastle** by *Deerhunter* (2008) 8/10 I love this band, while this isn’t quite as good as *Halcyon Digest*, the style here is incredible. This record is beautiful. Favorite Track: Little Kids **MM…FOOD** by *MF Doom* (2004) 7/10 Doom’s flows here are incredible, and I liked the production on here much more than some of his other stuff that I’ve heard. My only complaint is that there was a LOT of filler. If you cut a lot of the unnecessary tracks, this album could be a 9/10 in my books. Favorite Track: Kon Queso **Drunk** by *Thundercat* (2017) 9/10 This album feels like Stevie Wonder doing an appearance on the Eric Andre show. That’s all that needs to be said. It’s weird as hell, with a 70s style of funk. I LOVE this record. Favorite Track: Walk On By **White Blood Cells** by *The White Stripes* (2001) 7/10 A weird mix of styles, from blues to grunge to folk. It’s weird but it mostly works. The harder rock songs don’t hit as hard as some of the similar ones from later in their discography. I preferred the soft stuff this album does. Favorite Track: Fell in Love With a Girl **Feels** by *Animal Collective* (2005) 8/10 Some of AnCo’s most reflective and soft stuff. I’ll have to give this a few more listens but I really dig it so far. Favorite track: Loch Raven **( )** by *Sigur Ros* (2002) 10/10 I’ve found new work music. This is stuff to throw on in the background when you want to get shit done. It’s incredible, it’s beautiful. This is amazing. Favorite Track: Untitled 3 **You Forgot it in People** by *Broken Social Scene* (2002) 6/10

Some great tracks, a lot of filler. Favorite track: Anthem of a Seventeen Year Old Girl **Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga** by *Spoon* (2007) 7/10 Generally really good, but a little inconsistent in a few places, both tonally, and in quality. Favorite Track: The Underdog **Revisits** *Teen Dream* by Beach House (2010) 10/10 *(FT: Zebra)* *La La Land OST* by Justin Hurwitz (2016) 8/10 *(FT: Another Day of Sun)* *Another Green World* by Brian Eno (1975) 9/10 *(FT: The Big Ship)*

  • Sean Sipes

    I'm 19 right now... my life has had a lot of unfortunate events in series. After living a pretty easy and beautiful life in a beach city for my first 5 to 6 years, many of my elder family members began to die of old age. I couldn't really grasp why people had to die, or as my parents would tell me, "pass on". I think I had two great grandparents die, one who was incredible in my eyes, before I had to move to a very old, run down town smack dab in the middle of nowhere. This was due to my Uncle's - Mom's Brother - suicide. Six months later after that, I was picked up from school by my frantic mother who had to drive to her Dad's - who was my Grandpa who I loved dearly - house. She runs in as she's on the phone with her step mother who tells her a specific way to get into the house. Cop cars roll up, next thing I know my Mom comes out in hysterics. I later find out that my Grandpa was murdered by my Mom's step-mother. There was no justice, and all we could do was try and maintain as much distance from my Mom's step-mother as possible. I didn't get into an honor's program at my school due to a teacher's prejudice against me, and she tried to keep me from taking any tests for some reason, even though I was an avid learner. So, because of this, I began to lose interest in learning as the school years came by since everything was just *boring* to me. To top it off, I would be bullied for so many things I did - from making small stop motion animations in the fifth grade, to joining orchestra, to playing baseball, etc. By sixth grade, I dropped stop motion, and I began changing my styles to figure out who I was, and I was bullied even more. I really only had 2 good friends, and even my relationship with them was choppy. Middle school I began to separate from my normal group as I was called a "faggot", I was told to go away because "ew", I was "weird", and so on. I was generally just made fun of, and so I went with another group, changed my style completely, only to once again not fit in and be bullied some more. I moved to a different beach town soon after, and in my next middle school, in eighth grade, I didn't know how to react to kindness and so for the most part, I pushed people away because I had brought my past into those new moments. I also began to dabble with cannabis, and hung around people that used drugs as I was developing an interest to how psychedelics and the likes worked. High school was weirder, I didn't fit in to many sports because I dropped playing them a couple years back, I missed artistic opportunities because of my lack of confidence in myself, I continuously hung around people who still treated me like shit, I isolated myself from everyone because I was afraid of being rejected, I became depressed my sophomore year, contemplated suicide... I also felt lonely as I was rejected by plenty of girls I liked, but I also wasn't the greatest at approaching them because I was afraid of rejection. Junior year I partied more and really was just trying to get drunk and high to escape from how shitty I felt. My family had to deal with a bunch of financial issues as well, and so the amount of food we had was never consistent, and it stressed my Dad out and his PTSD from war rose up, and then things just got nasty as I saw my Mom and Dad both get physical with each other, and cops would come by to arrest him, and my Mom would kick him out even though in all honesty, he needed to be helped and cared for rather than ostracized. As this went on, I began my search for some sort of spiritual comfort. I had always been pretty spiritual, but it grew in those years since I didn't know who or what to turn to. I was trying to find "God", "purpose", etc. because so many things were painful to go through. Senior year was the most weird. I had several run ins with the cops, I isolated myself again, I hung around a major drug user, watched these people I considered "homies" pass out on air duster, take copious amounts of DXM, steal things, smoke weed until they weren't able to talk, drank until they were stumbling around, carved symbols into their skin with knives, and I was there because I was lost, probably like they were. On top of this, I had "existential panic attacks", and panicked as I looked around and saw so much negativity in the world, and in my life, and I just wanted to end it all and have some sort of peace, somehow. So many opportunities were lost, so many struggles and I couldn't live that "normally", but now things are beginning to ease. And yes, there were good times, but I think there were mostly bad times. My life was a kind of bad synchronicity. Recently, I got help for severe depression, and I'm practicing meditation and lucid dreaming. Spiritually and existentially, I'd say I've grown and become stronger. I'm more loving toward myself, I feel more compassion toward everyone and everything, and I feel that regardless of what happens, everything is okay. This was an experience that I chose, and perhaps my life so far was so difficult because I continued a ton of the struggling, but I wouldn't have known better as to how to create happiness with what I have. Now though, I know this. I take it as if it was simply a growth process. I feel much more comfortable with life, existence, reality, and the experiences I've been through and will go through. A way these events can shape you is how you feel you want to live. Now, I feel like living simply, perhaps modestly, selflessly. I just want to farm, own a vineyard, and help people to the best of my abilities. Write books about my ideas, but without stating them as "truths", just ideas and suggestions... or maybe just write stories in general. Or maybe I want to live on a beach, own a small bar, fish and cook good food, and share life with a potential lover. Who knows, but I came out of it well and strong, and I feel that I can handle life much more efficiently, even though I'm still growing and learning. But something I always keep in mind, is that I am a part of a grand story, the story of existence, of life, just like everyone else is. This was all an experience, and that's that.

  • Roberto Franecki

    1. I can see the issues with it, and it is kind of a mess, but as far as mood and being dramatic, I think it hits the right notes, and it ends well. I have more issue with Arya's stabbing in the previous episode than I do this sequence; it does as well as it can with the rather poor set up it was given. 2. Meh. Most everything involving the Faceless Men I found boring. The interesting parts of it were really any time Arya was doing stuff that wasn't in the House of Black and White, like the scenes with the play and Lady Crane. I just don't care much about the Faceless Men, and the scenes involving them were often boring, and sometimes a bit confusing as well. 3. Epic. One of the best scenes in Season 5. 4. Never really thought about it one way or the other. From what I know of the books, I can understand why it would be a let down to book readers, but for me it all felt pretty standard. Didn't stand out to be in a good or a bad way. 5. Eh, Dorne doesn't mean a whole lot to me, so it wasn't a big deal, but it wasn't done particularly well. I liked Doran, Areo, and Trystane, so it was a little disappointing to see them go out like that, but it doesn't really matter to me. 6. A means to an end. Kinda like the Jaime and Tyrion one where I don't feel any kind of way about it. I'm not too invested in the Ironborn, but I think this was pulled off well enough. Euron's alright, and was great in the first scene he appeared in, but got kind of underutilized and feels like a wasted character so far. 7. A little anticlimactic, after how much this meeting was built up too. Not sure why, but it doesn't really hit where it should with me. Part of that may be after watching Season 6, since the Three Eyed Raven, the Children of the Forest, and just about everyone and everything involved changed so much between Season 4 and Season 6, so it's all a little odd. With the prespective I have now, it made sense to kill Jojen when they did, but it wasn't handled particularly well. 8. I've heard it's drastically different in the books, so I can understand disappointment with it, but I think the show did as well as it could with it. It may not have had all the mystery and foreshadowing, but there were emotional moments and I think it did what it was trying to do well. It just ended up being vastly different from the book version. But without that to compare it to, I think it's fine. 9. I didn't have much knowledge or perspective on the Umbers, so it didn't mean anything to me that they sided with the Boltons. With what I do know, it was a little odd, and the Rickon situation was done poorly, but I was never bothered that the Umbers sided with the Boltons, and the new Lord Umber was a fine character. 10. Grey Wind's death was a bit pitiful, but considering everything else going on in that scene, I'm fine with it. It might have taken away from events going on inside if they spent time giving Grey Wind some great heroic death. Summer's... yeah, it kinda felt like they realized at the last minute that they needed to do something with him, and just threw that it. Even freaking Leaf got a better death than Summer did. That could have been handled better. 11. Always thought this scene was great. Loved what it did with the involved characters, and an important moment for Jon as a leader. 12. I never had a problem with this scene. I know it's rough to see these established badass warriors get beat the way they did, but they were in an enclosed space, outnumbered by enemies with weapons much better suited for close combat, It makes sense that they'd lose. So I don't think anyone fought weakly. It felt a little... out of place, maybe, but I think it needed to happen to raise the stakes for Dany, and show that the Sons of the Harpy are a big deal by having kill more than just random Unsullied. Plus, it furthered the Grey Word and Missandei thing the show decided to do. I can see why it might all feel a bit pointless, but I think it's a pretty solid scene. 13. Nothing much to say about this one. 14. I liked them well enough. I actually really like Renly, and he's great in these scenes. I think they served a purpose, and it was good to flesh out these characters a bit. Loras in the show seems to be a point of disappointment for a lot of book readers, but I'm not sure what he was like in the books that he didn't have in the show. He's not a particularly major or memorable character in the show, but I think he's fine. He's just outshined by the others members of his family, since they're all such fantastic characters. 15. I LOVED it on a first watch, and it held up on a rewatch. I dunno, I never get tired of Dany being a badass, and had no problem with anything about this scene. That said, some things could have been a little bit clearer, like the fire spreading up the stairs and all that, but those are all rather minor details really. (Maybe I'll come back and edit in opinions about the characters you mentioned, but it's late and I'm tired and I'm not sure how much of value I'd have to say. I tried to cover opinions of some of them where I could earlier in this post.)

  • Dimitri Feest

    > What are the four stages of coal formation? One. Organic material falls on the ground and is buried. It turns into bogpeat like stuff because of the anaerobic environment. Bogpeat like stuff eventually gets buried deep by seismic movement. Two. Bogpeat like stuff gets compressed and heated. Water content decreases as water gets squeezed out. It becomes this weird kind of spongey stuff that makes good burning Three. As time passes, it loses more and more water content and the proportion of hydrogen keeps on decreasing as carbon content keeps on increasing. It gets harder than a gentleman in your mother. There are different stages of hardness and carbon richness. The longer coal is squashed, blacker, energy-denser, and clean burning it is. Stage four is when some fucker like me sets it on fire to make power. > What are the special features present in a Conglomerate rock? Smaller rock&grit, bound by mineral leaching? > What are the 4 major principles of sedimentary rock formation? The historical German approach to warfare has always been bewegungskrieg, or manoeuvre warfare. Seeckt's contribution to doctrine is in his development of *Auftragstaktik,* a formal institutional doctrine focused entirely on the use of individual initiative and quick responses over detailed battleplans; the emphasis of speed and de-emphasis on the *Kesselschlacht* decisive battle; the training of the Reichswehr as an elite cadre of leaders to serve as the basis for future expansion of the armed forces, as well as the spearheads for maneuver warfare. > **LOOK LIVELY** Not God but a swastika So black no sky could squeak through. Every woman adores a Fascist, The boot in the face, the brute Brute heart of a brute like you. You stand at the blackboard, daddy, In the picture I have of you, A cleft in your chin instead of your foot But no less a devil for that, no not Any less the black man who Bit my pretty red heart in two. I was ten when they buried you. At twenty I tried to die And get back, back, back to you. I thought even the bones would do. But they pulled me out of the sack, And they stuck me together with glue. And then I knew what to do. I made a model of you, A man in black with a Meinkampf look And a love of the rack and the screw. And I said I do, I do. > Explain the difference between Fine grained and Course grained textures? Seeckt was notable for his application of honesty, rational discussion, and serious commitment in learning from Great War experience. Lord Abernon, the British ambassador to the Weimar Republic, described his impression as follows:" ...the thoughts of General Seeckt were generous and his views much more far reaching than one would expect." > **I LIED** Nor again is there anyone who loves or pursues or desires to obtain pain of itself, because it is pain, but occasionally circumstances occur in which toil and pain can procure him some great pleasure. To take a trivial example, which of us ever undertakes laborious physical exercise, except to obtain some advantage from it? But who has any right to find fault with a man who chooses to enjoy a pleasure that has no annoying consequences, or one who avoids a pain that produces no resultant pleasure? > What's your favourite rock in anime? What is a rock? > Why does Sandstone feel like sand? Ultimately, Billy Mitchell's confrontational attitude with those who didn't support the independence of the American Army Air Corps set back the creation of an independent US Air Force until after the Second World War, when the existence of the atomic bomb and the associated Silverplate mission fundamentally changed the face of the bureaucratic dispute. > How does Limestone form? *sob* please stop doing this to me **WHEN AM I GOOD ENOUGH** **PRAISE ME MORE** **TELL ME I'M PERFECT** Tell me the truth, too- > Why is Code Geass [your favourite anime] the best anime ever? Ludwig Beck, who would become Hitler's first chief of staff, actively worked to continue Seeckt's policies and doctrine, as most clearly evidenced by Beck's creation of the German Army Truppenfuerung 1933-1934 field manual. The Truppenfuerung represents the culmination of the results of the Weimar doctrinal innovation Seeckt had begun. Of particular interest is the obvious influence of Clausewitz on Beck's doctrine. The Truppenfuerung, for example, contains an admonishment that "The independent will of the enemy is pitted against ours, friction and mistakes are of every day occurrence," an obvious reference to the famous sections on the confusion of warfare in Clausewitz's *On War.* Works Cited: Beck, Ludwig. *Truppenführung.* Berlin: Truppenamt. 1933. zzBooks. Web. Miller, Aaron, "Hans von Seeckt: Reformer of the Reichswehr" (2013). Honors Theses. 2271. Web. > Does that anime feature any memorable rocks? Unfortunately, no, it does not. > What's your favourite type of rock? [I describe it in this video.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fNh3WufLYU&t=197s) > What is your favourite rock? My favourite is Stuart Slade. He's been accused of maybe being slightly racist and being an awkward writer with prose that can only be described as "functional." I concede the second point and reserve judgment on the first, but he's a fantastically fun writer. His strength as a military/historical writer is that he was a genuine naval analyst, and doesn't possess a writing background at all. Art is too insular, and needs pollination from the sciences. The impressionistic style of some of his articles on naval strategy and equipment translate well into fiction writing. One reads his books for the plot and the fantastic action sequences.

  • Destini Tremblay

    "You just don't care" if I wasn't paying attention. Goes for conversations, stories, handicrafts (or whatever it's called), subjects in school, books etc. "You always say you know it but don't do it." ADHD is not a problem with knowledge. I know that I shouldn't procrastinate and I know the outcome, I still can't make myself do something early (or extremely rarely). "You would be so smart if you just did something" This is a really bad one. Reinforces bad behaviour. On the one hand side you elevate a person's intelligence, making them feel good. It's praise. It's praise for not doing anything. Intelligence is something we inherit, nothhing we accomplish. It's like complimenting someone on his looks. The other bad part is that it increases the gap between expectations and results. Made me feel really smart and above my classmates but at the same time I had never any results to show for it. So what it led to is feeling like a failure, a disappointment, a disgrace. It made me feel like I was given such a gift with my intelligence and I was wasting it away. "Just start. Once you're started it'll go almost automatically" It doesn't. Starting is way harder for ADHD people and everytime we get distracted, we have to refocus back on the task which is exhausting and feels really bad every single time. Mundane tasks like chores are torture and saying this to me always made me feel resentful. Other people could seemingly do these things without problems while I was struggling to get started for two hours on a five minutes task, hating every single second of it. Generally speaking ADHD people are prone to developing depression and anxiety so it's important not to set us up for this path (those subreddits are even pinned here..). Some strategies just won't do the trick. I've been endlessly criticized and asked thousands of times wether I've done my schoolwork, wether I put everything in my bad, wether I've studied for the test, wether I'm sure I haven't forgotten anything. If I now hear any of these questions it makes my blood boil. Asking won't get it done. And saying "I wouldn't be asking if you just did it" doesn't help. It will just make tensions rise higher. There needs to be a strategy in place to get these things done without being endlessly reprimanded. Motivation is always better than punishment. We like to feel good. So if boy has his bag ready for the next time, reinforce that behaviour heavily. Make it a pleasing task, make a game around it. Maybe a challenge? I'm kind of out of ideas myself here actually. I don't have any positive strategies I could offer from my own experience since there were none. It's probably difficult dealing with someone who doesn't "listen to reason" or just works differently. The same rules don't apply. I'd just say reinforce positive behaviour and hold your child accountable. And maybe even more important, be open about feelings. Make it a normal part to talk about how you feel, how your kid feels. Expressing feelings is something that needs to be learned. Communication is extremely important and also helpful. If you can be really open with your feelings, with problems and get support with them, you will be able to understand eachother a lot better and in turn find solutions to problems. I oftentimes felt silly for my struggles and was ashamed of communicating them because that's how I was raised. Feelings were never talked about, logic was paramount. So what ended up happening is that I did irrational things for irrational reasons and couldn't communicate it of fear of being reprimanded or ridiculed for it. Sorry for making this so long and I know I sound rather down but that's the reality of things. My parents made lots and lots mistakes which have ultimately led me down a dark path. They didn't know better but I still resent them for it. As for the not listening part, just make it positive. Instead of sighing when he's not listening or asking where he is in an annoying part, try to make it funny and lighthearted. He doesn't like getting distracted so it's vital that bringing him back doesn't make him feel inferior. Maybe pinch him in his sides and smile and laugh. Another time tap on his head. We're a lot better at noticing physical things than auditory things so asking "Are you listening?" will need to be said a few times unless you get loud or talk in a mean tone etc. Just try to make it silly. Like I guess you could even purchase a tiny ball and throw it at him if he doesn't listen as long as he gets to throw it at you too if you don't listen. Heck what do I know it's 2am and I'm hella tired and the post is way too long anyway so whatever. Hope it helped at least a little.

  • Corbin Parker

    1.) Stannis *is* the current rightful heir. Dany Lost her claim to that when Robert took the crown by conquest. Stannis is mad at the people who don't support him, because he thinks they *should*. Dany, who basically was never in Westeros thinks most people will support her. Notice that Stannis doesn't harbor fantasies of being a popular king where hidden loyalists will spring up and help him. So Dany here is being a bit naive, mostly because she believes too much of what her crazed older brother told her. Now it isn't really her fault, but at this point after trying to rule for a while she should know better than to think the people are waiting on baited breath for her to return so she can rule the kingdom happily ever after. Also how can you say Danny hasn't killed people yet, she's killed tons, lied to the slavers, reneged on a deal, conquered two cites, left one to chaos, and ignored a call for help. 2.) Stannis kind of killed his own brother. He gave the word/command so it doesn't really matter who held the knife, or in this case birthed the shadow baby, at least in my opinion. That is bad, however you have to remember he was a rebel and a traitor from Stannis' point of view. Stannis thinks (and is correct) that he is the rightful heir, so when Renly (who keep in mind Stannis met with and gave a final chance to bend the knee and get in line) refuses to give up, and insists on bring a rebel army to the capitol, what are you supposed to do? would it be any better if they met in battle and Stannis slew him, or someone else did? 3.) >*Attempted* Child murder... So many Stannis fans got up in arms about him killing Shireen on the show, yet he was willing to kill a kid in the books. Do you think there might be a small itty bitty differnce from killing a bastard child, vs killing your own? >Jaime tried and failed to kill a child and even the people who like him, such as myself, still consider that unforgivable. Cersei having Robert's babies killed is seen as monstrous. Theon killing the two boys is seen as evil. Dany gets more hate for Drogon killing a child than Stannis does for planning ritual child sacrifice. I feel like you are exaggerating with the hate dany gets for Drogon killing a child. i for one have never seen any hate for that, except maybe dont let a dragon just fly wild. also theres a lot of people who think that Drogon didn't kill the child, as they had bones, and Drogon would have eaten him whole. Also Stannis forgives Davos for letting edric storm go, so in some sense he does feel bad for almost killing him. 4.) If Stannis thought himself above the law, then he wouldn't be trying to be king. and I've already gone over why your blowing out of proportion the killing of Renly. Thirdly do you know how a feudal system works? Each Lord is loyal to the one above him and thats really it. so it isn't their fault they rebelled with their liege lord, they were doing their duty. If the North rebelled, the Crown would only punish The leaders, and the rest would be forgiven. So again Stannis isn't doing anything outside of the normal law. 5.) > Who the hell expects a wildling to bow to them? Listen, the wildlings are free to not kneel above the wall. they come south, they have to avid by the laws, one of which is bowing to the king. > They were slavers who were clearly brutal to their slaves, yet some consider that harsh. you know how she killed them right? Crucifixion. Thats one of the most brutal ways to go. you slowly suffocate for up to several days before you cant hold yourself up anymore and suffocate. Burning only takes a minute or two. If anything what Danny did was way worse. 6.)>Completely without compassion, empathy, or forgiveness. All of thats false. you yourself got mad at him for forgiving southern lords after renly's death. >She's a pretty bad leader, yet she's much better at judging situations individually than Stannis. is that why literally nothing she's done, except go into a burning fire, and stealing hundreds of slaves has turned to shit? she's currently in the wild with dysentery shitting her brains out, while the people left in charge kill the wrong people, and every city she's gone to is in total chaos. so basically you have massive rose tinted glasses about this. and becuase you cant seem to see why people like Stannis, heres the biggest factor. When the Wall calls for help, and no one gives a flying fuck about Westeros, and just wants to hold onto their own power, Stannis, with almost no force goes north to help them. He alone goes to save the relm. He alone risks everything to do right by Westeros. Outside of Jon Snow no one else has shown that kind of leadership. Also no one is perfect, but Stannis is at least trying.

  • Althea West

    Holy fuck. Holy fucking fuck. I can't even put everything that's spinning through my head into words right now. Granted; I might be a biased audience. I was 6 years old when the first X Men movie came out, so I was about their target demographic at the time (this is obviously not a kid's movie anymore lol). The X Men were also my favorite body of work put out by Marvel, so again I'm probably biased here lol. I used to daydream about being a mutant as a kid, so in a way I kind of grew up with this franchise and these actors. He probably hates this; but Hugh Jackman will forever be Wolverine to me haha. There couldn't be a more perfect actor imo. Now I can't lie; as I grew older I realized the X Men movies weren't as magical to me as they were when I was a kid. I saw their gimmicky CGI and forced humor. I saw them for the cookie cutter superhero movies that they are (save for a few moments here and there throughout the franchise). Yet I always had a soft spot for them in my heart. The X Men were also the *only* comic book I read as a kid. Suffice to say, seeing this was like reliving my first love. I remembered why I loved her (the series, wolverine, etc.). I remembered why we broke up. Lol this movie is a god damned emotional rollercoaster that pulls at your heart's strings and I love it for that. The fucking icing on the cake is the R rating. They don't fuck around with it here. Instead of just adding blood, titties, and swearing to attract viewers (well okay they *did* add all that but still lol), they take full advantage to use that rating to tell a deeper character driven story. All cliches aside; this is the most *human* mutant movie ever made. I will go as far as to say that this is the best Marvel movie ever made too. This is the Wolverine movie we've all been waiting for. We just wanted to see him go berserk and rip people's heads off and we got that. He's not as agile as he once was; so the action is lacking in the dexterous sense. However what it lacks in agility and beauty, it makes up in raw, unadulterated emotion. It's like you can feel all of Logan's rage and pain with every slice he cuts into his enemies. He's just fucking visceral throughout the whole movie. It's like an anti-superhero movie. We're so used to Logan being this invincible god, so accustomed to Charles being this infallible, "calm in the eye of the storm" type leader. But here we see their powers taking their toll on their bodies. Charles is a seizure away from being a babbling old man riddled with dementia. He's stubborn and won't take his medication. He spews nonsense; yet at the same time his core is still there. He still has these spare moments of wisdom. And Logan is just visibly broken down; both physically and mentally. Jackman does a *fantastic* job of portraying the pain he is feeling. I mean this movie just blew me away. I feel like I've only wrote a sliver of what I want to say about it lol; this will be on my mind for weeks to come. Everyone was fantastic in this movie, especially X23 AKA Laura. A bad child actor/actress can really ruin the immersion, but she put on just as good as a performance as Hugh and Patrick did. When she finally breaks down and says, "daddy" I fucking lost it man. Not even going to lie, on the drive back I started crying thinking about the movie, thinking about how it was the last X Men movie I'll see of my generation. I usually love sad endings; especially in a genre you don't expect them. But god fucking damn I was just wishing that Logan would burst through those stones in the last scene lol. I didn't want to see him go. Especially after all the character growth we get to see in this movie. And that last shot was fucking *perfect.* God I just love this movie so much. It was everything I hoped it to be. A wonderful send off for both Jackman and Stewart. Side note: I couldn't stay around for the after credits scene; was it worth staying for? Side side note: Although I didn't think about it during the movie just because it was so intense that I was held captivated throughout, but I can't help but wonder; where were the rest of the mutants? Are we to just assume that they are all dead now? I know that this movie didn't stay canon to the comic books (in fact it quite outright said "fuck the comic books" lmao), but I wish there was a little more detail as to why it was only Charles and Logan left. All in all I just wanna end by reiterating that this is the best Marvel movie ever made. In my opinion at least. I left feeling hollow and depressed and angry; and for those reasons I want to hate it but I can't. This movie told a real story and didn't hold any punches back, it didn't apologize for anything. And I love that about it. A real refreshing addition to a genre that was quickly becoming stale. Can't wait to see it again.

  • Karl Muller

    Sorry for this long comment, it just so happens that this area of theology is an area of my academic interest and (debatable) expertise. There are quite a few things about the questions that you raise which I'll be able to try and answer briefly now ( unfortunately I'm currently at work and don't have my dissertation materials to hand), otherwise, if you'd like, I can answer in more detail, with sources and such, later in the day. In my time researching my disserstation topic (being, angels, demons, and exorcism), I have found that the opinion of the good user brojangles on scripture is shared by a good portion of Christian faith. However, myself, and a good number of Jewish and Christian (Catholic, orthodox and otherwise) would have to disagree on scripturally historical and theological grounds. The story of the angelic fall is convoluted and complicated. We need to bear in mind a few things when dealing with this subject: 1. The Fall that is in the bible is not the only existent scriptural account of The Fall. 2. The account in Genesis was certainly not the only account of The Fall which was believed in by Jewish and Early Christian believers. 3. The bible as we know it in its first or current canonical redactions is definitely not the same set of scripture used, believed in and taught from by Jewish and Early Christians. 4. Although the scripture that does contain highly influential elements which inform belief in The Fall for Jews and Early Christians (and even to a certain extent Muslims), which was used by the aforementioned is not (retrospectively after the canonisation of scripture) canonical, it does not mean that non-canonical books are wrong, in error, etc., at least in part anyway. My reasons for this argument is that books such as the Genesis Apocryphon, 1 Enoch, and The Jubilee were used and taught from. In fact, 1 Enoch was ratified by prophets such as Isaiah and Ezekiel, and in Jude's letter (all of which are in the canonically redacted Holy Bible) and refers to it, surely showing at least a respect and understanding of what is now deemed to be non-canonical scripture. 1 Enoch details an account of The Angelic Fall (it's really worth reading), and, as myself and many scholars believe, works in roundabout the same way as the Jewish Midrash in relation to the Torah. For example, this means that 1 Enoch acts as a supplementary text and fills in the gaps with other canonical texts (like genesis) do or did not have space at the time to explore, and was not considered as exceedingly important to pass on in the 'deposit of Faith', and so the supplementary texts were left out. The Fall isn't, I believe, as has been suggested: a simple idea of popular culture and thought in the renaissance period. It's important to note that the timeline of Lucifer being cast out of Heaven and Eve in the Garden of Eden appears to be a little 'wobbly- wobbly, timey-wimey' and needs a little work to get one's head around. The simple matter is that Satan, which originally was an angelic office with the function of testing the souls and minds at mankind, was always there in the beginning. Which seems harsh when you think about it, but then there is also an angel of death, so go-figure. So that explains how the Fall of humanity began: with a test of fidelity and obedience. The reason for the Fall of the angelic kind would come later, if referring to Enochian and other scriptures (I can't name them as I've forgotten and will check and edit later when I'm at home with my materials), comes when mankind has gotten on a bit. Lucifer, the Satan (an office) gets jealous and then does unspeakable things with his minions to humanity, abusing his power, and then resenting God (I'll leave you to read it, is spoil the story otherwise). It is here that Lucifer and his Legions are cast into 'hell-fire' by the other Archangels by God's command. And so, the rest is history concerning NT, medieval and contemporary belief in the devil. So if I HAD to place it, I'd say after genesis but before the time of Tobit/ Isaiah. This is all I can do for now, I must get back to work. Please do reply if you have a question or debate to bring up. I'm very much looking forward to what others think on this intriguing topic! Best, Monkle_Roo

  • Madaline Price

    christianity shares almost nothing with judaism, outside of fundamentalist post-reformation sects, which would mean that christianity was a sham until 1650, when it became "real." those sects focus almost exclusively on the old testament, only giving lip service to the christian doctrine of the new testament. in fact their sole use for jesus appears to be in saying who is saved and who is not, eschew everything he is attributed to have preached. jesus would be the first to condemn anyone for casting such a damning stone as eternal damnation, one would think. christianity is pauline mithraism and this was recognized for the first 4 centuries AD prompting the christian apologists of the 4th century, who could not deny the similarities between the 2 mystry cults, explaining them away with the most absurd rebuttal that satan went back in time to create mithraism as a false christianity to test the faithful. this "ergo satan" rebuttal is still the go to response to criticism. followed by yours, which is "ergo faith." neither is an argument. the prophetic texts you speak of were interpretted post hoc to support the christ story. elements of the christ story were honed over 2 centuries to fit them, and even then they don't really match well, other than where they basically just retell the elijah/elisha story. the romans were not afraid of jews, period, and proved that they could crush them with ease when they did so in 70 AD. the romans were great record keepers, but there are no records for jesus or even pontius pilot and the title "king of the jews" was herrod's official roman granted title. jesus does not "enter" the historical record until he is mentioned in one highly controversial sentence by josephus in 70 AD. that sentence's authenticity has always been in doubt. aristoltle's religious beliefs cannot be inferred, he wrote too little about it. plato's religious belief was not monotheistic in any way that you would recognize, he did not veiw god as anthropomorphic. he was much closer to anaxagoras' concept of "nous:" everything is a part of everything except for nous (mind/reason) which is infinite and indivisible and immaterial and orders matter. plato shares more with the gnostics, than the nicenians, from which your beliefs and doctrine stem--including the textbook you rely on. christianity was invented as a mash up, as were all religions. the jewish religion we know today was created by alexandrine jews circa 200 BC to 100 AD, when the pentatuech was written. it was heavily influenced by the cosomopolitan melting pot of ideas found in alexandria in the first and second centuries BC. it was because it was written by eyptian jews that egypt was given such a prominant role, despite it all being false. the reason eyptian myths and legends are not found in jewish religious texts is because the jews were never there. the reason the jews did not have a kind god like the eyptians, but a psychopathic god, like the asdyrians and babolonians is because they were stheir laves and captives well east of the nile--not eypt. every foundation jewish myth was lifted almost unaltered from asyrian and babylonian http://www.rationalrevolution.net/articles/fictional_jesus.htm http://www.rationalrevolution.net/articles/gospel_mark.htm http://www.rationalrevolution.net/articles/jesus_myth_history.htm http://www.rationalrevolution.net/articles/jesus_myth_followup.htm https://jdstone.org/cr/files/paulandthepaganreligionofmithraism.html http://www.vexen.co.uk/religion/mithraism.html http://30ce.com/mithras.htm http://www.rafimetz.com/borndigital/tarsus.htm both christianity and mithraism, just like buddahism, are death cults promising an end to suffering and a glorious "life" once you're dead. the cynancism of such doctrine is unbelievable and the desperation of those who were the original adherents is so sad (most were soldiers, which is telling)...we see shades of this now with the popularity of apocalyptic movies, shows, books, and games...it is eaisier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism, i'm sure it was even worse for the underclasses 2000 years ago.

  • Jaylen Wunsch

    So many stories. 1) Just because a man has a big penis does not mean that's all a woman needs. My ex had a habit of thinking that just using his penis was all I needed to get off and to be deeply satisfied with what he was offering. He failed to realize, however, that that was egregiously false. I needed fingers, oral, foreplay, and flirting. And not just his idea of foreplay, but also my idea of foreplay, which were not the same things because he was based off of porn. When I wasn't wet enough or ready, he'd just use lube to compensate and stretch me out with his fingers. When he finally did get in, it was really him just thrusting. He never continued to touch me or kiss me or anything. It was literally just porn style sex which was not comfortable or enjoyable because my desires were not seen to or taken care of. I'm even more sad that I thought something was wrong with me because I wasn't enjoying myself during sex and that it was always painful. Turns out I'm just not into that kind of terrible sex. 2) My other ex thought I should just be able to DO anal and whenever I would say, "No, not into it," he would try to convince me by saying, "It's like losing your virginity. It hurts the first time and then you get used to it and it feels great! And if it doesn't ever start to feel okay, because some girls always feel pain, that's why we can just do it once a week." No. Just no. Absolutely not, no. I don't understand how men think that something so uncomfortable and painful should be a regular occurrence. Even worse when they don't understand that lube and preparation is NECESSARY. Not even spit, but legitimate lube and ass foreplay. I'd probably be more into anal if I felt like men read a book called "The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women" by Tristan Taormino. I think men need to actually educate themselves in a real way about anal and sex, rather than just taking their cues from porn or from sexual experiences (especially if they picked up bad sexual habits from previous partners and no one ever corrected them or went, "Wtf is that mindset?!"). Tristan Taormino loves anal, but even she admits that if it's painful or uncomfortable, then its not being performed properly. Foreplay for your ass is essential, as is trust, comfort, and lube. 3) Being waxed and perfectly SMOOTH and porn-star looking all the time. I've read enough comments on a variety of sites and overheard enough conversations between men to know that they expect women to have enough time not only to wax all the time (which is painful and freakin' expensive), but also to look 10/10 for sex. As if having the media, books, poems, songs, movies, etc. glorify the image of the "naturally perfect" woman isn't enough, we get to have it blatantly shoved in our face when we take off our clothes, get vulnerable, wait for an assessment of the homework that is our bodies every time we present ourselves for sex/our partners. I literally overheard a man say that the only hair a woman should have on her whole body is her eyebrows and her head hair. Anything else he considered rude, dirty, and unkempt and he certainly would never consider going down a woman if she had even one strand of hair in her delta of Venus. I had to bite my tongue not to turn around and rip him a new one, but that kind of mindset isn't uncommon, apparently, because though that was the first time I heard it stated so blatantly, that wasn't the first time I had heard shades or tones of it throughout my life. Also...someone explain to men that we cannot wax every single week or immediately when we get stubble because...that's not having waxing works. Tl;dr: 1) I've noticed men think their penis should be the sole source of orgasms which it won't be, especially if there's not enough foreplay, flirting, or any sort of preparation beforehand. Definitely not if it's JUST thrusting and no other things (touching, kissing, whatever you need to get to an orgasm); 2) Anal is not easy and men who take their cues from porn on how it can be done need to educate themselves like whoa; 3) Women are not always porn ready and they shouldn't have to be unless they want to be.

  • Wyman McKenzie

    It caught my eye pretty quickly. I was by no means a stranger to the library and at this point I knew the shelves by heart. It was no surprise that Vanessa, the young librarian who always seemed to be around when I conveniently came in to study, was here once again. Though this time she acted weird, avoiding my gaze and giving a greeting that was even meeker than before. I figured it was nothing until my gaze came down upon that far too unfamiliar book resting on the counter. *To Sven* Right, so that explained it. Vanessa was one of the few who knew my name and now this mysterious book was lying on the counter, dedicated to me and myself only. I put the pieces together and took the book, pretending to not see her gawk at me in the corner of my eyes. Sitting down somewhere quiet- which is literally everywhere considering this being a library and all- I inspected the cover a little more. The note attached to the front was in a *rather feminine* handwriting, surprise surprise, while the actual cover itself was something along the lines of a library. My mind started to spin while ideas surfaced. A library, huh? This was getting a little too meta for my mind to handle. I opened the first chapter of the relatively short book and held my breath. *Underneath the delicate sound of raindrop crashing violently onto the panes above, a whisper could be heard. Talking was prohibited in the sacred library halls, but an exception was made when nature was louder than one's mutterings. "My mother owns this library. Though she herself claims literature cannot be owned, but merely borrowed." To share one's past is the first step in familiarity. To enjoy those memories together is intimacy. "Poetic. I guess it's fitting. She seems like a great lady." Idly conversation, musings of the mind clashed together for the sake of it. Truth be told, the girl never cared for bland chit-chat or uninspiring exchanges, nor did the boy. Yet the rain lasted and they spoke of the most mundane things in life. From the meal he ate yesterday, to the weather that granted them this moment.* I took a moment to glance up, eyes searching far and wide for Vanessa. She had to be somewhere, waiting, watching while I read further into this wholeheartedly confusing book. I had the feeling this was about me- or rather *us*- but it felt hard to place. A generic love story about a boy and a girl in a library. I continued reading, despite being slightly weirded out considering I didn't really know this girl that well. The idea that this book was about me was *scary.* Who the hell was I to her? I barely know her and she barely knows me. I just come in, get my books and *occasionally* share a tidbit about my life. I can't imagine my existence would be interesting enough to read about. Yet I continued reading about the boy and the girl in the library, half an hour almost passing as I reached the last passage without even realizing it. *To strangers the library was like a labyrinth. Twists and turns without hundreds of shelves ready to swallow up even the most competent of explorers. To them it was home, yet they'd always lose themselves in each other's company. The boy stepped foot into his home, yet the girl was nowhere to be seen. In a single heartbeat, the previously welcoming library felt unknown and frigid. They say home is where the heart is and in that moment the boy realized, she had his. He rushed through the library in search of the girl, yet found nothing more than the dust they wiped off of book covers so frequently. In the end, she was gone. Before too long the boy returned to where they first met, his eyes falling on simple book far out of its place. Who left it here? The boy knew the answer and opened it without hesitation, a note slipping out from between the pages and into his hands.* I turned the page and *much* to my surprise wasn't met with another paragraph, but instead a note. In the same feminine handwriting from before, it read: *I kind of like you. Do you want to go out for coffee sometime?* I mean. She could have just *asked me.*

  • Iliana DuBuque

    This sounds like it'll be an interesting conversation if you want to have it. >Physicalism says that (1) behold, there is a miracle, and it is that there exists something instead of nothing, and that something is inexperiencing, dead matter The problem with this is your position that it's a miracle. A miracle is something that could not have happened but did anyway. It's a 0.0% chance of an occurrence that occurred in spite of that. We don't know the circumstances for the beginning of the universe but that doesn't mean that there isn't a completely sensible (if extremely complex) explanation for how it happened. The unbelievably intense conditions that occurred during the big bang have obviously never occurred since and as such it's difficult to understand how everything works at those energy levels. We don't understand them yet, but that doesn't mean that they're impossible to understand. A miracle cannot be understood because there it is an impossible occurrence. I don't think that the explanation for a lack of information should by default be "conscious, essentially omnipotent being" when it could very well be explained by natural processes, the same way everything else is explained. This doesn't, however, rule out the "conscious, essentially omnipotent being" explanation. It's just much, much less likely based on everything we've ever observed. > behold, there is another miracle, and living, experienced consciousness arises out of dead matter. This isn't a miracle. It's extremely unlikely because of the very specific conditions that make it occur, but it definitely isn't a miracle. Living, experienced consciousness didn't arise out of dead matter. Organic matter arose as a result of very extreme and specific conditions. This led to organic matter that attempted to self-replicate. This led to it being more complex so that it could better survive in its environment, rinse and repeat for millions of years, and *this* led to experienced consciousness. It wasn't dead matter > conscious matter, it was dead matter > building blocks for living organism > living organism > more complex living organism > conscious organism. >If this is the case, our awake experience would be like immersion in a video game, and dreams and nightmares would be the mind's activity when not (as) restricted by the immersion. I don't quite see how this follows your previous point. Many other realms existing doesn't logically lead to our waking lives being "immersion in a video game", and I don't see how sleeping lessening that immersion would lead to us having access to these other realms. >Many fascinating things happen to people while dreaming that physicalism only waves away. >People dream about events; then some time later, those events happen. This is likely explained by the vague nature of dreams and deja vu. In my understanding, dreams don't have overly specific details (for example, you can't read books in dreams even if you see 100 of them on a bookshelf. Fine details don't exist in them.) A sufficiently vague situation could seem to be precog when in fact it was just sufficiently vague and similar to the situation occurring. >People get life-changing insights in dreams. That's not really miraculous. Dreams are still experiences, even if they're a different kind of experience from the physical world. Large insights could occur basically at any time we're experiencing something, so it's not surprising that they can happen in dreams. People who have never been in war dream of being a person who died in one, and then it turns out the person they dreamed of actually existed, and the details were right. I'm going to need an actual source on this one. Sounds like a bit much.

  • Giovanna Cassin

    I hate seeing anyone say somebody was a bad child. Children are still learning how to be good, and sometimes their surroundings make it a little harder to learn that, but they aren't inherently bad, just brought up poorly. From what we know about how spankings affect children's behavior, what you consider "bad" may have actually been the result of the spanking parenting style. Studies have shown that spanking a child will make them comply with orders better on the short term, but they are more likely to disobey later. Did you get in trouble for things, get spanked, and then go and do it again? That's not bad, it's perfectly normal for a child who is being conditioned with pain. Thing is, the only distinction between a spanking and a beating is very subjective. I can guarantee you that there are children who are treated in ways that you would agree are abusive, who would tell you they deserved and appreciated it in hindsight. That's because they love their parents. If you love your parents, you are going to give them more benefit of the doubt regarding things they did to you than an impartial observer would - and there's nothing wrong with it. As a parent, I fully sympathize with and understand forgiving loved ones who do bad things, and when I see somebody on TV saying their father who just raped and killed a bunch of people was just misunderstood and actually a good person, I don't hold it against them. We live in a culture that has long normalized the beating of children, so one doesn't have to be a bad person to be guilty of doing that when you lacked information on the actual affects of what was done. Standards change, but that doesn't mean we have to automatically forgive people for doing things that used to be considered OK but aren't anymore. As an example, my parents were considered pretty lax on the punishment side for their time, they were more progressive than most of our community. In the 70s and early 80s, they would have been seen by many as the kind of lax parents who let their children grow up to be spoiled brats because they read too many books about raising kids by liberals. By todays standards, some of the things they did would have had CPS knocking on their door if they had known. Twice I was "spanked" with objects so hard that they broke on my bottom (once a safety paddle, another time a brush). A few times, I got slapped in the face, and when I was 10 my Dad once gave me a bloody lip doing so. I still probably got more spankings from my brothers-in-law than my parents, because I stayed with my sisters a lot and he was a more traditional spanker. If one of the kids in the house did something bad, everybody would get spanked, even his sister's brother who's come to visit his nephews, and he always used a belt or switch. My parents disapproved, mildly, but never did anything to stop it because, again, it was seen as normal. My mother would refuse to sign the document to keep me from getting spankings at school because she thought it would make me spoiled, and she was considered one of those soft parents. Were they abusive? Certainly, but in their time it was considered normal, and some would say they were abusing me by not spanking me more often. I'm sure if my parents hadn't grown up in the first half of the century, they would be non-spankers today, but they didn't have access to a wealth of information proving that spanking was bad, they were told by "experts" that spanking was correct. You can't blame them anymore than you can blame a medieval person who put leeches on their kids because the doctor told him it would help. I'm not saying to judge our parents for things they did decades ago by modern standards. Do not do that, as I have explained above, that doesn't really make sense. But we shouldn't forgive parents today of doing things our parents did, it's madness to keep allowing things we know are wrong just because our parents thought they were right, otherwise we'd still be stoning adulterers and keeping slaves.

  • Jerad Paucek

    Here is my updated profile. I'd like to thank all of you for your comments and suggestions, I did shorten my profile (only a little). Some of you will not like the beginning, but I feel it's really the way to go. Revised Profile: I want to put this on top of my profile. Women who message me hi will get no response, when you message hi I'm convinced I'm not missing out on anyone special. If you voted for Trump don't bother. Who am I? Lets see...I am a NY Jets fan, an avid reader, and wannabe writer. I am a news junkie -except during my self imposed media black outs (sometimes it's just too awful to watch/read or listen to). And most importantly I am still a work in progress, I don't know when I'll be complete. Who will I be in 2018? Probably the woman in a straight jacket. If you can make me laugh that will endear you to me for life...Maybe. What do I want in life? Happiness, stability and a sense of purpose. Who am I looking for here? A woman with a great sense of humor who has similar interests as myself. I'm here primarily for dating but I'll live if I make a friend or two. My ideal woman is kind, loyal, mischievous and environmentally conscious. If you think I'm describing you send me a message. Looks/Race/Religion: I date all races, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. As for religion, I'm agnostic/atheist. Deal Breakers: Recreational drug users, smokers, if you have children save us both some time and walk on by. I don't want kids ever so if you do...It's a no What I’m doing with my life edit essay -Pursuing happiness. -Trying to remember that people are basically good. -Being clever on Twitter. -Trying to be a better person everyday. -Trying to make a positive difference in this world. I’m really good at edit essay -Making breakfast, it's the most important meal of the day.! -Procrastinating. (It's a hard habit for me to break but I'm trying) -Reading several books at the same time. -Crossword puzzles. -Putting my foot in my mouth. -Embarrassing myself. The first things people usually notice about me edit essay -How long my hair is (yes it's my real hair) - My eye lashes, I get told all the time how long they are :) -How quiet I am. -How short I am. Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food edit essay Books: The Grapes Of Wrath, A Painted House, The Ha Ha, The Wrong Man, Dog On It, The Last Refuge, The Guards, etc... Movies: The Pursuit Of Happiness, Marty (Is it messed up that I watch this every year on Valentine's Day?), Cat On A Hot Tin Roof, Seven, Dirty Harry etc... TV Shows: The Vampire Diaries, Bob's Burgers, The Honeymooner's, Meet The Goldberg's, Lost Girl, American Horror Story, The Simpson's, The Walking Dead, General Hospital (Don't judge me), Shameless, Archer etc. Music: Almost anything except Rap! Food: I love dishes that have pork in them, pizza, mangoes, peaches, certain kinds of fish. For some reason all my favorite vegetables are green LOL. The six things I could never do without edit essay 1. A good book 2.Not telling you because it's TMI 3. Pandora 4. Coffee 5. Black and white movies 6. Not telling you so stop asking. I spend a lot of time thinking about edit essay -Recycling -Books that I'm going to read next -What kind of music will show up on Pandora next -What other states I'd like to live in -Global warming -My future (HA HA!) On a typical Friday night I am edit essay -Looking through people's profiles as I sip Whiskey on the rocks. -On Twitter. -Anything goes really. The most private thing I’m willing to admit edit essay I hate big drinking mugs :/ I don't drink soda anymore. (Gasp) I am open to finding friends here but... I love watching CNN for hours at a time. You should message me if edit essay *You're looking for a relationship. I'm not looking for a one night stand and I don't want to meet your boyfriend or husband.* * It would help if you lived less than an hour away from me.* You're looking for a friend to hang out with.

  • Stevie Ruecker

    In reality, a carbon tax would probably do a combination of things. A dividend, some amount of investment in grid work, a contingency fund. I'm not an expert, and I am not very well versed in energy law, but here are attempts at answers to your questions: 1. Nuclear power is tricky because it requires pretty big investment and there's not a lot of political energy behind it. I know less about this, but there is smaller scale nuclear technology that uses a different kind of fuel that is much safer than it's been. Many nuclear facilities are closing or will close in the next decade, and it's a big problem because that huge amount of energy will need to be replaced; right now, it's primarily being replaced by natural gas. So you can give the closing nuclear plants an incentive to make them viable for a few more years, but fundamentally the technology has to change/improve to get to a place where it's competitive in the long term. That will take concerted effort and R&D that there doesn't seem to be a lot of appetite for at the moment. That's unfortunate, and I hope it changes, but I think it will require really changing how people think about nuclear power. 2. Wind and solar will certainly be attractive after tax credits expire, they almost already are at parity. The tax credits have worked to get renewables competitive with other forms of electricity generation. They spurred the investment that brought the innovation, and costs have been falling DRAMATICALLY in both cases. By the time the tax credits phase out, falling costs will have more than made up for the incentive, and private investment will continue. Having some contact with renewables developers and poking through their financials, it looks like no one is worried about the tax credits ending when they're scheduled to. If they were abruptly ended it would be bad news, but most developers are already thinking toward the 2020s, and the economics don't seem to frighten anyone. 3. Transmission lines just need to be invested in and expanded. Right now there are big bottle necks all over the country where only certain amounts of power can flow. High capacity transmission lines are needed to, for example, bring power from wind farms in northern maine to the rest of New England. Regional markets like that need to be fostered and expanded, so we can scale renewables effectively. I can't speak very well to the extent of the infrastructure that's needed, but it's a lot, and it's a widespread problem. You also will really need transmission infrastructure that goes into the ocean. There is HUGE resource potential for offshore wind just a few miles off the US coast, and I see that as the future for scaleable renewables; wind speeds are higher and more consistent off the coast, and you don't have land use problems (though wildlife impact studies are admittedly challenging). 4. Energy grid news stuff, I really like http://www.utilitydive.com/ . if you're gonna start with one, start here. For more market heavy stuff, bloomberg: https://www.bloomberg.com/energy and reuters: http://www.reuters.com/sectors/energy the guardian does a pretty good job, as does the times https://www.theguardian.com/environment/energy http://www.nytimes.com/pages/business/energy-environment/index.html and I can't recommend reading books enough if you're just getting into it. Your professors likely have many good recommendations for books depending on what you're interested in. I mostly studied oil in school, so here are a few of my favorites, just off the top of my head: Carbon Democracy by Timothy Mitchell Crude Politics by Paul Sabin The Oil Curse by Michael Ross This Changes Everything by Naomi Klein

  • Tierra Hoeger

    I completely understand what you're saying, because I used to think the same way. I've read both of those books, Catcher in the Rye five times, actually. My dad used to tell me I was like Holden Caulfield. Holden saw through the "phonies" and I thought I did the same. Actually, I still do. Just because I have more faith in humanity now doesn't mean phonies don't exist anymore. Anyway... You say you like your depression, because it's the difference between you and those phonies or the simple-minded. I thought so too. I went to a school where everyone was a complete idiot. In the 10th grade, I switched schools and got into an "elite school", ranking 5th or so in my country. I was fortunate enough to be put in a class where there were a lot of okay kids. I met many intelligent people. They were smart, mature, all-As, and positive at the same time, nothing like the zombies high on weed in my previous school. They weren't the book-smart types, either. Most of them were genuinely smart. We even had a genius. He was kind of socially awkward, but he was not depressed. Think, I don't know, Elon Musk or other geniuses who are just fine (then again, artistic geniuses are more prone to depression). I no longer think there's really a connection between intelligence and mental illness. So, at the time of switching schools, I realized that my "intelligence" (I always considered it my defining feature, but in this new school I soon realized that half of all that intelligence was just nihilism, arrogance and pessimism). Even if I was a genius, I don't think that would be an excuse to be miserable. I used to use it as a proof of my intelligence, and even equate it with intelligence. Anyone who wasn't depressed was a stupid zombie or an evil (*and* stupid) phony. You don't need to make the depressed+miserable or stupid+happy choice. Happiness and intelligence are not mutually exclusive, even though it might seem like that when your brain is high on depression. I know the world is full of fucked up shit, and being aware of and sensitive about that shows that we have social/emotional intelligence. But we can't let it crush us. There are so many good things as well. I know it might be hard to see now - I remember not being able to see it when I was depressed. If you don't want to see it because you like your depression, then you will never see it, dude. For a long time, I was literally disgusted by the "mundane way of life". I didn't want to fit into society because I was grossed out by the church boys, like you said. I'm still grossed out by them, but you don't need to be a church boy to "see the beauty in everyday things". Once I made an effort (effort is key when battling depression, honestly), I saw the beauty in my family's love, for example. I never did that before, and I didn't think about how that affected them. Now I am more affectionate. I never saw the beauty in, say, charities. I might sound cheesy or something, but don't you think charities are beautiful? Is there really no good in this world? Anyway, I think you're probably surrounded by the scum of the earth. Not gonna lie, I still think most people are crappy, but there are also many people with good intentions. When I first started fighting depression, I noticed that whenever I Iooked at people as I was passing them by and imagined what they might be like, I thought of their worst possible version imaginable. I started making up positive stuff about them, or something that excused whatever judgement I had about them. It soon eased my anxiety (for a while, my misanthropy was so bad I felt uncomfortable around people) and I genuinely think my perception of society is more accurate nowadays. You should give it a try, go to a therapist, maybe try some meds, and see. If you don't like it, you can always stop. It's your choice.

  • Otho Ortiz

    English: spelling, slang, and the occasional accent. Not a crazy amount of slang, but enough to convey the culture. English spelling speaks for itself. Boot instead of trunk, torch instead of flashlight, etc. I see nothing wrong with the occasional "Hullo!" or even "Ello!" if you're using it to convey social class. It's when dialogue is riddled with it that it becomes annoying and unreadable... which brings us to the Scots. For Scots, Diana Gabaldon has actually done a wonderful job of incorporating Scots accent into her dialogue that doesn't make it onerous to read. Ex: "It's no verra likely" "I dinna wish to go". If you pick about 10-15 different but very commonly used accent words and stick with them, you'll be fine. It doesn't take people long to understand how the word is being used in context. If you need a bit of help finding those words, try r/scottishpeopletwitter. Most commonly though you'll see: verra=very; dinna= do not, don't; no=not; nae=no, tae=to, yer/yersel=you/yourself, canna=cannot. You get the idea. Seriously, go to the sub, you'll pick it up quickly. I have a character who is Scottish and this is how I write her. No one has difficulty reading her at all. Again, don't get crazy with it. As with most people, when it's a more formal occasion, they polish their language up a bit. If they're excited or scared, the accent comes out more. Upper class speaks more properly, lower class uses more slang and is more accented. Also, just from personal experience in Scotland, you can both be speaking the same language and not understand each other one bit. Sometimes it's fine (and realistic!) to not understand each other at all, it helps a bit with settings, particularly in a very remote area. French: I like Agatha Christie's approach to making her Belgian French-speaking character Hercule Poirot noticably Belgian in his dialogue by peppering it with common French phrases and exclamations. She doesn't use "zee", thank God. For example: "Ah, ma chere! C'est magnifique, non?! We are overjoyed to hear this wonderful news." "Allez! Don't let them get away!" "Merci Monsieur, you are very kind." "Mais oui, c'est vrai Madame, the police found him." Of course, you need to know a little French to write this way, but even without knowing any French, it's easy for the reader to understand the jist of what's being said due to the context and punctuation without needing to know the language. Most of this French can be found in phrase books or online. If it sounds like this might not be how people speak irl, I know 5 French speakers and they all do this to some degree while speaking English. Doesn't mean your characters need to, but it's a good way to tackle French/German/Italian/Spanish/etc speakers without doing some accents. Norse: you're on your own. I would look at sentence structure and shape my dialogue around that. Some languages are naturally more formal or descriptive or place nouns or verbs in specific spots. Some of them have a musicality to them. Sometimes their grammatical structure uses a more passive voice. I think as long as you picked a particular manner in which the Norse speak and generally applied it to most of your characters, you should be able to distinguish them as Norse speakers. I assume you're writing something that takes place during the Viking raids, given your choice of countries. You can look through Norse mythology to get a general idea of what speakers emphasize, but written language and spoken language is usually different. Since no one alive has ever heard a native Old Norse speaker or recorded their words, you get a lot of wiggle room on this one. Good luck!

  • Marley Kautzer

    Purchased 107 Easton Press books for $540 on Sunday. It was a greedy, stupid purchase and I let the low price and relative high value of the books distract me from the fact that it was in fact a terrible purchase. I've sold many of the titles before hand and knew they the total lot value (In atleast good shape) would have been 2500-3000. I got them home and they smell so badly of mildew/mustiness that my whole first floor smells. I have them on Ebay right now just to liquidate them and get them out of my house. I kept 12 of the more valuable ones to experiment on and have the other ones up in lots. Bids right now combine for a whopping $227 + 40 dollars shipping. Will probably cost $100 to ship the books when everything is said and done they will turn into $140 or so (at this price). I expect them to go up a little but I honestly don't know how much more. So I'll lose at least 250-400 when everything is said and done. Assuming the guy who buys them understands what he is getting into and doesn't open an INAD or other case and I end up just having to 0 them out anyway. Then I'll be out $650 if eBay sides with them. Here is an example of one of the listings: http://www.ebay.com/itm/20-Easton-Press-Famous-Books-Collector-Edition-Leather-Bound-Poor-Condition-/272570436897?ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT Here are some of the warning signs I ignored and you should look out for when dealing with craigslist/cash deals: He wouldn't answer basic questions: The original listing said he had 25 books, then when I texted him he said 50 then he said about 100. He wouldn't give me an exact number I dropped the price and he didn't even blink: I originally offered $7 a book then he told me he had someone come buy some already so I dropped the price to $6 a book and he didn't even blink. Should of been a red flag that this guy knew I was way over the price they were worth The books were being stored improperly/the area I went to look at them was not conducive to a proper evaluation: He was storing the books in a little out building by an apartment complex that was basically a garage converted into a little laundry room. The building was damp, and had a general mustiness to it. The lighting was also pretty poor. Your noise adapts to the environment you are in and it makes it hard to judge a smell when it smells like the general area its in. I knew they were in terrible shape, but I couldn't see most of the spotting nor tell how bad the actual smell was. He wouldn't stop distracting me: He just kept talking while I was trying to focus on the books. In hind sight its obvious he was just trying to distract me so I wouldn't focus on the books. Its pretty much conman 101 to keep the marks attention off of what you don't want them to see. He was saying things that were blatantly false: He kept saying things like "they just smell like old books," "they are in excellent shape," "when he found them they were in their original boxes" and other highly suspect things that I thought were full of crap. He asked me to pay him so he could leave: This was the biggest most obvious red flag that just went right over my head at the time. He asked me to give him a price for all of them instead of going through them all one by one and then pay him so he could go to another appointment. I doubt there ever was another appointment. He just wanted my money and to high tail it out of there before I realized the books were board line unsellable. TL;DR: If you think someone is acting shifty, don't ignore that feeling because of greed Lesson learned I guess. Losing 400 and quite a bit of time isn't going to break the bank. Yesterday I picked up a lot of books for $400 that should sell for over 3,000 so that kind of helps the hurt a little.

  • Edwin Ankunding

    This is a great question, and it's something I have studied quite a bit. Japan and Germany are usually looked at as some of America's most successful foreign interventions, contrasting directly with other efforts such as the Iraq situation. One thing to keep in mind, though, is that your comparison is a bit overly broad. Japan and Korea are VERY different situations. Japan was a country we defeated in war, a country that had an unconditional surrender, and a country that we "rebuilt" after the damage we helped cause. Korea we never conquered, their government never surrendered to us, and we did not have to rebuild the country from a ground level. They are not really fair to compare because they are not at all similar situations. Japan is similar to situations like Germany and Iraq--countries we have gone to war with, defeated the existing government, and had to rebuild up from the ground because all economic, industrial, and social systems are broken. America has largely NOT engaged in this kind of situation, though it has a decent track record when it has, its sole failure being Iraq. Iraq failed for a few reasons, but mostly because the occupying forces failed to create a more stable economy and social structure, instead making it worse. By disbanding the military and ending employment for anyone connected to the state run Ba'ath party, the US forces managed to make a bad situation worse and remove the few jobs still available. Coupled with an insufficient military presence and a failure to focus on getting economic and social structures running before spreading democracy, a promising opportunity turned into and insurgency. In Japan and Germany, this policy was very different. Only the highest level Nazis were disbarred, with all the low-level party officials (such as school teachers and basic beauracrats) still keeping their jobs. The focus was on getting food on tables and jobs in the economy, not in spreading American freedom. And the manpower was there to make sure it happened decades into the rebuild. It worked much better. As for Korea, that doesn't really have a parallel. They were somewhere between and alliance and an intervention. We didn't really replace the government of choice with someone we wanted instead as we did in the Americas. We just propped up a rebel faction that already had a strong base of popular support and a weak opponent. But it also wasn't exactly a full alliance with a real government as the South Korean rebels weren't really established yet and didn't have much military power without us providing the muscle. The real reason for success in South Korea came from the weakness of the opponent. We never lost the hearts and minds like we did in Vietnam because our guy in Korea had actual popular support unlike our guy in Vietnam. Coupling that with the North Koreans having a largely ineffective regime, it's not hard to see why US intervention worked there. This is very different from Latin American interventions where we just picked a "strongman" and made him the new government whether he had support or not. Some great books to explore this topic further are Inside the Emerald City by Ray Chandrasekaran and The Warrior and the Priest by John Cooper. The first is a comparison of the Iraq occupation to Germany and Japan from the perspective of a journalist living in occupied Iraq. The second is a contrast of Teddy Roosevelt and Woodrow Wilson and their different approaches to nation building.

  • Rylee Hammes

    I posted on an end-of-January thread, but seems no one has posted one for February. So **this is for all of all of February up to now**, so I'm sorry for the length. I'm still reading a lot of short books, resulting in being way ahead on my challenge. From most to least recent, ish: Just started **Utopia** by Thomas More. **The Vegetarian** by Han Kang I literally finished an hour ago. Read it in less than a day. Compelling. I'm almost done with **Ready Player One** by Ernest Cline. I started this probably a month ago and just yesterday decided to buckle down and try and get through it. Not a huge fan. There are a cool scenes and ideas, but it largely feels like a string of name-dropping geeky things and making things way too easy for the protagonist. The author seems not to know how to murder his darlings. **How to Be a Woman** by Caitlin Moran. The first few chapters surprised me in their raunchiness and I thought it was really funny to start, but it kind of went downhill from there. Didn't get to terrible, just started more entertaining than it ended. **The Awakening** by Kate Chopin. It was well written and made the reader feel what I believe the protagonist was meant to feel, but unfortunately these feelings were ennui, boredom, and depression. **The Daylight War** by Peter V. Brett. Some of this was interesting in conveying an imaginary foreign culture, but there's a romance going on that I just think is so boring and poorly conveyed. Meh. **You're Never Weird on the Internet** by Felicia Day. It was okay. I laughed a few times, and there are some insights into a very different upbringing than my own. It isn't bad in any way I can see, but it's not fantastic in any way either. **Magic Burns** by Ilona Andrews. This had a better storyline than a lot of other urban fantasy I've been reading lately. But I'm just a little urban-fantasied out, so I'm not in any rush to read the next book. **Matilda** by Mary Shelley. I expected this to be dirty, and it wasn't at all. A lot of emotion is packed into this little novella. I might have loved it if it was longer and more descriptive in the plot, rather than glossing over the details of 'they grew close'. **Second Foundation** by Isaac Asimov. I was SO resistant to reading this book because I found book 2 so boring. But I found it much more fast-paced and the book just flew by. **Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit** by Jeanette Winterson. I was looking forward to this because people I watch reviews by raved about it, so when I got to the end I felt I must be missing something. **We Have Always Lived in the Castle** by Shirley Jackson. This was creepy and disconcerting. **A Room of One's Own** by Virginia Woolf. Almost more a long essay than a book. Articulated thoughts I hadn't really put into words. **Dusk or Dark or Dawn or Day** by Seanan McGuire. I was disappointed. Some beautifully written prose near the beginning, and then just nothing of interest thereafter. **Annihilation** by Jeff VanderMeer. I loved the worldbuilding, but wanted more plot. I'm a little worried to read the next one because I heard it was shit, though. **The Handmaid's Tale** by Margaret Atwood. I did really like this, but not so much as I expected to, leaving me with another "am I missing something?" sort of feeling. **The Alchemist** by Paulo Coelho. Inspiring, interesting, but as a steadfast skeptic, the idea of believing I have a personal legend out there waiting for me if I look for the signs feels like believing I'll get my Hogwarts letter.

  • Sallie Volkman

    OK. Hang on there! I know this sucks. I've been there. I used to sit in a big chair in my living room and eat just food while the tears streamed down my face. Being in the DB situation was hopeless for you. It was never going to change. Now that you're out, it's lonely. I get that. But... there is hope! There is hope that you will find the kind of love you really want. There is hope that you won't ever, ever, ever go back to a DB again no matter what. This is tough time and all unfamiliar and there are so many changes. You have to realize you're OK. You're an adult. You can meet all your own needs. You don't need anyone. You're got this. Don't allow yourself to wallow in despair. You have actually needs that have to be fulfilled (air, water, food, shelter) and guess what... you can meet all those needs. You will not die if NOBODY ON THE PLANET LOVES YOU. You don't need love to live. You're not that weak. Don't get me wrong. It's a very natural thing to want to love and be loved. That will come when you're ready. Now is a great time to learn to be comfortable by yourself and learn some self soothing techniques. Don't let those emotions overwhelm and intoxicate you. You're in charge of your emotions and you decide how you're going to feel today. An you know what... today you've decided you're going to feel OK. Actually, if you think about it, you're a bit of a bad ass. You did something that millions and millions of other people CAN'T DO! You stood up for yourself and you took charge of your life. It was embarrassing and frustrating and crazy and just what the fuck have I done but it's getting better. If you can, therapy would be a great chance to get into your own head and figure out how you got here and where you want to go. Also, sit down and make a list of things you do and don't want in your next relationship. Keep that list and show it to friends and talk about it. When you do meet someone, and you will, show them the list. Encourage them to come up with their list so you two can compare lists. Get comfortable talking about sex and emotions and relationships. Become like one of those sex positive sex therapists that can talk about the mechanics of sex with anyone, anytime. Find out what turns you out. Explore your own sexuality. Hit Amazon and start reading books on relationships and bonding. Educate yourself about your weaknesses and make them you strengths. Now is the time to make yourself into that loving, caring, romantic sex goddess you really want to be. Treat yourself well. Be kind to yourself. Get lots of sleep. Exercise, eat right and try to dress up a little. Go buy lots of sexy, sexy underwear and perfume and wear it. Get your hair done. Revel in your femininity. Spend time making love to yourself. Hit the online adult stores and buy a bunch of the most interesting sex toys you can find. When the time comes, share those toys with your lover and teach that person how to use them right. Be that giant ball of walking love, happiness and sexuality that is inside you. Life is what you make it. You've just done something terribly difficult to make your life better. Recognize and reflect on the success of that. You're a little bruised up but it's going to get a lot better. Please do me a favor and keep posting during this entire process. I bet it's only going to be a few months before you're in here regaling us all with exciting romantic adventures. There is somebody out there just yearning to be close to you in the same way you want someone to be close to you. Use this time to get yourself together so you don't miss that chance when it does come.

  • Elise Koepp

    Okay, so it sounds like you're connecting to a recruiter at Hired by Matrix, who will then pass you along to another company for a job. Looking on their website, it looks like they try to find people who can fill in a few different roles, like consulting and social media and customer service. Since you mentioned a technical interview, I assume you're being interviewed for a consulting role. It looks like the steps behind hiring are laid out [here](http://www.hiredbymatrix.com/business-solutions/full-service-staffing/). As for how to do well on a technical interview, it depends on what kind of technical interview it is. I'm more familiar with technical interviews for software engineers, but here's the idea: they give you a question to test you on a general concept or on your problem solving ability. They might ask you to write the code for a sorting algorithm on the whiteboard, for instance, which is a pretty basic concept you'd learn in class as a CS major. It's just like taking the SAT or any other test. On the day of the test, will you see the exact same questions, word for word, as what you've studied? No. But that doesn't you mean you can't prepare for them by practicing questions of the same type. [Here](https://www.monster.com/career-advice/article/engineering-interview-questions) and [here](http://placement.freshersworld.com/mechanical-interview-questions/33121840184) and [here](https://www.glassdoor.com/Interview/mechanical-engineer-interview-questions-SRCH_KO0,19.htm) are some random resources I found from Google on the types of technical interview questions given to mechanical engineers. You can find lots more resources both online and in books. Basically, I think your steps will be something like this: 1) You'll chat briefly with the recruiter, just about your own interests and experience. From there, they'll get a sense of where they want to place you. If you're open to other roles that they offer, say a social media or customer service position and not just a technical position, you should let them know. See what they say and what kind of options they can give you. 2) Find out as much as you can about the interview process. Ask them for more details on the technical and Web based interview. See if you can ask them for a general sense of what skills and concepts they think are important in candidates. 3) From there, do your best to prepare in the amount of time you have before the interview. 4) Go in, interview, and just do your best! Maybe you're nowhere near the level they expect for their candidates, and they find that out while interviewing you. That's okay; now you know what to study and work towards for your next interview. Maybe the nerves get the best of you and you totally screw up. That's okay; that means doing more and more interviews is great practice for getting your nerves under control. Maybe you decide you hate all the fields the recruiting company works in. That's okay; now you can focus your job search on things you ARE interested in. Remember that how you interview or what job you have is not a reflection of your character. Breathe. It'll be okay, I promise! If the interview goes horribly, just save the interview as a funny story to tell your friends down the road :)

  • Carrie Rohan

    It seems crazy now to imagine a world without the internet but it kind of evolved so rapidly early on that nobody had any idea of the "right" direction, so we had a lot of curious steps along the way. It was like discovering an entirely new continent which didn't have all the normal geographic features or creatures. It started off as a nice community of scientists and hippies in communal bliss. People didn't lock their front doors, they had meetings to discuss how the postal service should work (eg the RFC documents for SMTP/POP3 also known as email). It was a utopian vision, and this is why web standards are so open and why you can email anyone if you have their address, the closest comparison was real post (this is why so many things in internet works share names with their real world equivalents, post, e-mail, virus, web, net, home, address... because they evolved and those were metaphors to describe them to others). People weren't arseholes to one another, they shared stuff. Next comes the Wild West days, the commune have settled a base, the newcomers enter and blaze trails in every direction. They all see it as somewhere exciting to start afresh, but it's alien. People stake their claims to parcels of this infinite territory and communities spread much like frontier towns, with a bar, special interest groups, jokes shared, naked ladies getting attention. It was a bit more lawless, but people had fun seeing what would grow in the alien soil. Now the communities were a bit distributed, so lists of websites started to be collected, usually filtering some kind of tree structure. In fact Yahoo was "Yet another hierarchically ordered oracle", and a pretty good place to start to find stuff. Others had other ideas about search based on all kinds of elements, for instead "meta tags". These were then badly abused by junk sites, and better search methods were needed. When Google emerged, they had a brilliant idea of mapping out where every site was linked from, with the idea that the best sites would have more links to them than the others. At the time they were just another search tool, but a good one. People still used Altavista etc. This is the time when the neighbourhoods were turning a bit shit. If you stayed on known paths, you were fine, if you turned down the wrong back alley you'd end up in some dodgy places quickly, and probably pick up viruses along the way. Email spam (again named after a real life Monty Python joke) was becoming a big thing and there were very few ways to deal with it. The pioneers hadn't reckoned on it being a problem in their scientific hippy commune, but once the greedy fuckers showed up, they started running things for everyone. Then the corporations arrived. The money and stakes rise rapidly. We welcomed them, we loved that shops started emerging that didn't need you to send an email with your credit card number, and who had stocks of more books than we could imagine. These guys looked like our friends, they weren't Microsoft who were dominant and abusive at the time. Whole areas were paved over. Things homogenised. Billboards went up EVERYWHERE. We worked for the corporations, they started tracking everything, every photo, every site visit, every click, every friend, then selling us as the product to advertisers and marketers. Our friends turned out to be farming us. And here we are.

  • Bettie Dooley

    >It's an official commitment to protect women and girls from abuse. Men are already guaranteed that in laws hundreds of years old. So are women. So why give won *extra* protection and not men? that's discriminatory. It's condesending to women, we're grouping them in the same group as children ffs. How is that not sexist? If I made a law taht gave extra protection from violence to whites and said "black people are already protected by other laws", that would not excuse it. Would it? It's an unacceptable position to take. >Girls outperform boys in school because they develop academic intelligence quicker than boys. It's an actual stage of development. This is partially true, espceially for literacy where it's clear that girls get ahead early. But there is not enough focus on catch up for those left behind in the early stages (which are mostly boys but also girls). 'Boyish' behavior is often punished as well and behavior typically demonstrated by girls is seen as good. Boys tend not to be interested in reading classic books and instead opt for things like comics which are frowned upon. >Boys outperform girls in secondary school because they do get preferential treatment. No they don't. Girls easily outperform boys in GCSEs. In fact the 'gender gap' is fucking colossal. "The gap between the percentage of girls and boys achieving at least 5 A*-C GCSEs (or equivalent) gradesis 11.6percentage points, with 71.4% of girls achieving this indicator compared to 59.9% of boys." Source: https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/399005/SFR06_2015_Text.pdf If these figures were reversed we wold have mass protests, and I don't think that's an overstatement. Boys don't get any sort of preferential treatment. Girls are constantly encouraged to push themselves further, especially in STEM. They are given girls-only competitions (because for someone reason we don't think they can compete with the boys). There are special programs to help girls get into further education, and again especially in STEM. Also girls-only bursaries (again). May I ask just out of interest if you are male or female? >No, you moron. What you see as inequality is equity. That's how the progressives see it in every fucking way. Oh black people are poor? INSTITUTIONALISED RACISM BURN THE WHITES! There are real structural and societal issues with our education system, as I have pointed out. You aren't rebutting any of my arguments, you're just telling me to grow up, which is kind of ironic. >Women are discriminated against in many many ways. Where? Point it out, prove it. I would't be suprised if they were. Do please point it out, they shouldn't be discriminated against. I care about the plight of women, but *equally* I care about men too. Why is that bad? >You're so pathetic. Get used to equality. Grow up. I'm pathetic for pointing out issues that affects our childrens chances at life? Seriously? I'm advocating for equality. You are the type of progressive I have a problem with. The myth of male privilege is dangerous. You haven't even attempted to counte rany of my arguments, taht means I'm probably right. >Stop being such a whiny pissbaby like your man, Trump. lol.

  • Grant Dare

    Were you bothered by the faceless men only having Jaqen and the Waif? I was confused by it seeming more like one dude than a group. It seems everyone is happy with the Dany being rescued by Drogon scene. I admit it was pretty epic and exciting, but my complaint was that the way it went down in the books was a HUGE moment of character development and progress for Dany. The show has kept her personality and goals pretty stagnant. She gets boring because she's always saying and doing the same things again and again. I wanted to see that turning point. I've mostly seen confusion in reaction to the Kingsmoot. Euron was introduced without any establishment of his character or goals. He is the most terrifying person in the books so far, IMO. You definitely don't get that from the show. I am thinking they're going to leave out his dark magic villainy altogether. The House of the Undying was one of the only times the creators were willing to do prophesies and visions. They've said they're against flashbacks and dreams and such for the most part, which I think was a huge mistake. Flashbacks giving more context to who Rhaegar was would have made the reveal about Jon more significant. Going into the Stark kids dreams would reveal so much more about their characters. Bran's visions are a big deal and it's fun to unravel their meanings, but those were left out. I think that flashbacks give more weight and context to present events. How villainous a character do you see the Mountain as? I wonder if they toned him down because of how extreme his actions are or if it was the constant changing of the actors that made it hard to give him his story. I think Tyrion's story dropped off because in the books after killing his father he goes down such a dark destructive path. I think the show wanted to retain their beloved character and not upset fans, so they kept him funny Tyrion. But it meant him not really developing as a person. The writers sometimes struggle with drastic alternatives to book moments. You would think that Ellaria would consider how Oberyn would feel about her actions. Everything she does after his death defies logic. I'm fine with steering away from the books, but the actions should still match the characters. Avenging his death by killing his family is just...what...? With Jorah, like Tyrion, I think it was about trying to keep a character likable. Going with the books would make him gross and unpleasant, so they came up with a new personality for him. But then they combined him with another character from the books and didn't know where to put him anymore. So you see Daario as a pretty good person? I like the version where he's brutal and kind of awful. It's like Dany has a draw towards violent brutish men because of Drogo. A draw that makes her not listen to warning signs and people's warnings. It makes sense with her character. Sometimes characters on the show seem too unaffected by things that happen to them. I think Jon is one of those characters where not hearing his thoughts like in POV writing is a huge loss. He can be very guarded and withholding, so without his thoughts he's hard to read. I wish shows could think of some way to translate first person writing better. I imagine if we hadn't had his thoughts in the books he would have come across as rather dull.

  • Dariana Considine

    I enjoy reading morbid non-fiction, autobiographies and memoirs. And as a similar question was asked a recently on another sub I'll just copy what I wrote then. **My Lobotomy by Howard Dully**-Is written by a guy who at the age of 12 his stepmother who decided she didn't like his behaviour arranged to get him lobotomised. A year after the surgery his family abandon him and he ends up living in institutions, incarcerated in his 20's and an alcoholic and homeless in his 30's.Then as he gets his life together he starts asking questions and decides to research what happened to him and why. **Colleen Stan, The Simple Gifts of Life by Jim B Green**- At age 20 Colleen was abducted by a man and his wife and kept for sexual slavery for 7 years. Whenever she wasn't being used she was kept in a coffin sized box. She would spend years in that box only being let out briefly. The book is in her words. Here is a documentary about her.https://youtu.be/kJFq6RHTWZM?t=1m23s **Night by Elie Weisel** - An account of a teenagers experiences in Auschwitz. It's a very short book but worth the read. **Eyes Of The Tailless Animals by Soon Ok Lee**- The memoirs of a north Korean woman who was sent to a labour camp for years where she was tortured and starving for 6 years until she managed to escape. **Elephants on Acid And Other Bizarre Experiments by Alex Boese** The title says it all. **Slave Girl by Sarah Forsyth**- Sarah was abducted fed cocaine and forced to work in the famous windows in Amsterdam's red light district. **Without Conscience** Mansosn's autobiography as told to Nuel Emmons. **Savage Mesiah by Paul Kaihla and Ross Laver**- Follows the story of cult leader Roch Theriault who cruelly beat, humiliated and tortured his followers. He castrated, cut limbs off, left a baby out in the snow to die and was an all round frightening and delusional figure. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9EXDtv98WU **The Ice Man by Philip Carlo**- The memoirs of Richard Kuklinskihttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjTYwZKuyBs Man there are so many more good books I could recommend but I'd be here all day. Edited to add some more history/science **Blood And Guts by Roy Porter**- A short history of medicine. **The Encyclopedia Of Forensic Science by Brian Lane** a guide to the science behind crime investigation. **The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson**- Once you read this book you'll be forever looking at other people to see their levels of psychopathy, lol! It's a really fun book to read, it doesn't get bogged down with medical technicalities but it's informative enough so that you do get a better understanding of the disorder. **Henry's Demons by Henry and Patrick Cockburn** Patrick is the father of Henry who has schizophrenia. This book is a very good way to give you a picture of what it is like to have a close family member with this disease and to see it from the eyes of someone actually going through it themselves. It's quite harrowing really. **The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat by Oliver Sacks**- Sacks is a neurologist and these are a collection of his most strange cases of people who have some kind of brain injury and the odd behaviour and psychology that happens as a result.

  • Shaina Waelchi

    OK, I've got my notes so I've got a bit more to say on this book. A few passages in particular stood out for me. > No matter how mundane some actions might appear, keep at it long enough and it becomes a contemplative, even meditative act. I am totally on board with the concept of running as a form of meditation. I don't necessarily think that people should run with the goal of reaching a higher mental state, but it can often be a rewarding side effect. (i.e. runner's high) > Writing honestly about running and writing honestly about myself are nearly the same thing. Fully agree with this, and it is much easier writing about running than about oneself. In the same section Murakami talks about how he has to write to find meaning. The difficulty with this is that it is so hard to put our important thoughts into words that have the same gravity of meaning; words diminish feelings. Stephen King said it best: "The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them -- words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out." > Running has a lot of advantages. First of all, you don’t need anybody else to do it, and no need for special equipment. You don’t have to go to any special place to do it. As long as you have running shoes and a good road you can run to your heart’s content. This is basically why I am a runner. > I’m the kind of person who likes to be by himself. To put a finer point on it, I’m the type of person who doesn’t find it painful to be alone. I find spending an hour or two every day running alone, not speaking to anyone, as well as four or five hours alone at my desk, to be neither difficult nor boring. I’ve had this tendency ever since I was young, when, given a choice, I much preferred reading books on my own or concentrating on listening to music over being with someone else. I could always think of things to do by myself. /r/me_irl Other choice quotes: > Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional > To keep on going you have to keep up the rhythm > I run to acquire a void >There are three reasons I failed: Not enough training. Not enough training. And not enough training. > If I used being busy as an excuse not to run, I'd never run again > Sometimes taking time is actually taking a shortcut > Nothing in the real world is as beautiful as the illusions of a person about to lose consciousness. There are loads more I want to include, but I would basically just be typing up the entire book. Murakami has a wonderfully engaging writing style that made this an easy book to read in one sitting. I found myself nodding along with most of it, wondering how I had never managed to articulate these seemingly simple (but profound) thoughts myself. I agree with /u/Simsim7 that I was rooting for him to be more competitive, but I guess he wouldn't have had the same insight on running with a different attitude. I wholeheartedly recommend this book to anyone who likes running and likes reading. If you liked Murakami's writing style, check out his fiction!

  • Eduardo Kerluke

    ahh, shit, I didn't think of that... I assumed you were "of age" and/or not tied down with family. I totally understand what you're going through though, I had social anxiety issues for a long time. I did go to therapy for a while but it wasn't helpful for me because I ended up being really good at lying to the person and saying what they wanted to hear, and they never called me out on it. I did end up going on some medicine for a while which ended up snapping me out of the funk I was in, and after a year I didn't need it anymore and I've been pretty much fine since then. The thing that made me finally go get help was that I realized that I was most comfortable when I had a few drinks and was buzzed, because I was less nervous, but I realized I absolutely did not want to be buzzed all the time so I needed a better solution. But yeah, being asked "are you alright" was the worst thing, it fucking pissed me off so much. Especially because when I was actually feeling bad, no one noticed. It was only when I was totally fine but maybe a bit sleepy that people would say it (having natural dark circles doesn't help either). Anyway, if you don't have the ability to go to someone to get help for now, that doesn't have to be the end of the world. If you'd prefer to be alone for now, that's totally fine and you don't have to feel bad about it. There are a ton of awesome things you can do alone, and ways to improve yourself and be successful by yourself. Develop a hobby of some kind, learn an instrument, get into art, teach yourself programming, read lots of books, maybe try writing some books, develop an encyclopedic knowledge of video games, learn how to fix electronics, get good at exercise, learn how to make awesome cosplay props and weapons, etc. All of those things can be done perfectly well alone. And the good thing is, by getting good at stuff, you get to build self confidence, you build yourself into a more talented and interesting person, you develop skills you can use, etc. Whenever you do decide to go out into the world, you'll be a pretty damn cool person and people will notice that. Maybe you'll still be shy and anxious and are only comfortable making one or two friends, but hey, they'll probably be awesome friends. And besides, the way I see it, being comfortable being alone is extremely important. I'm sure you've seen or heard of people who spend their life crashing through shitty relationship after shitty relationship, and getting tied down by toxic and defeatist friends, all because they're terrified of being alone for any length of time. People like that only end up happy by accident, others end up wasting years of their lives slumming around with idiots or living in shitty unfulfilling relationships and having nothing to show for it because they never learned to live with themselves. So... if you're still reading this, that's good, haha. I'll tl;dr it by saying if you can't go get help now, that's okay. Don't feel bad about wanting to be alone, and don't pay attention if people try to judge you for it. Find some way you can be awesome by yourself, and eventually you'll have built yourself a great foundation. Maybe by the time you can get help, you won't need it anymore, or if you do get it, you'll be starting off from a strong place. good luck!

  • Russ Mitchell

    > living what some consider a risky lifestyle Expat life in SEA will do that to you. How long have you been out there? If you don't love the career you are working low pay for I would say look for something else. You sound not that old and you don't have things you can't dump in a second there right? And you don't get paid that well, so find somewhere else and try something else. I was kind of young when I found my thing, just 26, but that was pure luck. In the 5 years between graduation and when I moved here the list of things I did: 1. taught english in china 2. worked as a manager in a members-only wine club in china 3. worked in strategy consulting in manhattan 4. was unemployed for a year, applied to a fucking bajillion different jobs, including trying to get one at the State department (which is what led me here in the first place it was supposed to be a preparatory step for getting into State) 5. Temp job for a legal consulting firm that offered me a full-time position which i turned down to come here 6. and what I do now. Lot of different shit, until I found the thing i really really loved. The thing with finding something you love doing is that you have a huge leg up in it compared to other people in the field because you don't stop thinking about it when the clock stops and you're not being paid. You love doing it, so you just end up thinking about it all the time *anyway* meaning you effectively spend a hell of a lot more time 'working' at it and developing your knowledge and skills than other people who don't. I work in politics/political reform, I read about politics **all the fucking time**, not just the news but theories, operational methods, when I read other books or articles that are only vaguely related to actual politics I end up analyzing things like the political dynamics in play and how they apply to the real world, I mean I just think about the damn subject all the fucking time and I would anyway even if I wasn't paid for it. This makes it easier to outcompete people who are just as smart or talented as me, and it evens out competition a bit with people who are moreso. I dunno about that whole 'find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life' thing, in my experience i found a job I love and my free moments are dominated by thinking about work, because that's what I want to think about anyway. I had no plan btw to find this. In fact I would say I had probably kind of given up on the idea by the time I found this. I wasn't jazzed about the idea of going into the state department. I thought "well the pay sounds pretty good, and it kinda sounds interesting, and i'll get to travel around a lot which i know i like. So I guess i'll go for that, sounds nice and reasonable and pragmatic and then I dunno I guess I'll just do that, find other things i enjoy and then die eventually" but I lucked out. I had no idea going into this that I would enjoy it as much as I do, I just managed to run into it before I had given up trying things. edit: Btw my professional mentor didn't find his calling until he was in his late 30s, he's now fairly globally prominent in the field 20 years later. He also did a whole lot of random stuff leading up to that point.

  • Richard Baumbach

    Agreed that disassemble a piece of equipment x number of times should allow you to forge it. In addition: - Allow filter of Way of the Strong only for Random Encounters at the Torii Gate - When reforging a skill on a weapon or armor, show all the potential effects it could become - Allow a new option when reforging, spending an amount of divine fragments to increase the strength of a skill on a weapon or armor (cannot go higher than can naturally occur on equipment). The amount of divine fragments necessary increases for the equipment each time it is used on that individual piece of equipment - Allow ability to exclude equipment pickups by rarity. For example, choose to not pick up any equipment of uncommon rarity or worse, causing such drops to either not appear at all for you, or to appear in a faded, reduced state to indicate they're being excluded (in the extreme off chance you see something being excluded you actually would want to pick up) - Allow the purchase of "sacred treasure" tier accessories at the teahouse - Additional focused items that allow you to specifically respec only your samurai points, or only your onmyo points, or only your ninjutsu points, so if you wish to experiment with a few skills in one tree you do not have to reset your entire character every time as this gets tedious at higher levels to put everything back in its place save for one or two different things - A third set of item shortcuts, or maybe even two more. Demon's/Dark Souls and Bloodborne players easily got used to cycling through many different item/spell shortcuts, I think we can handle more than 2 sets of shortcuts and 8 total shortcuts is just not enough room for someone who wishes to make use of consumables, ninjutsu items and onmyo, or even two of those frankly - Fix numerous incorrect item/effect tooltips (Frugality doesn't always return ammo, the bonuses for perfect ki pulses in mid and low stance do not increase damage but improve blocking and evasive ki usage respectively, the elemental shot descriptions make it sound like it buffs your ranged weapons when it just fires a projectile, the respec books' descriptions are unclear and make it sound like you'd lose some kind of progress using them, the Shockwave talisman does not properly explain how it functions, probably others I'm forgetting) - Create a "sandbox" style dojo mission that gives you infinite samurai, ninja and onmyo skill points and the ability to summon in any enemy you've defeated to facilitate testing/experimentation with new techniques and abilities as well as practice with no consequences or need for investment, thus a "try before you buy" for skills basically - Some additional function for Amrita, though I am not sure what. Perhaps the ability to spend a sum of amrita while summoning a revenant to improve the drop chances of their equipment, since by the mid 200s a lot of revenants in Way of the Strong will not provide much equipment due to level discrepancy.

  • Catherine Corkery

    At least we agree on one thing: Trump's an asshole. Besides that, I don't think I know of anybody who actively celebrated bombing. I know I didn't. You do have a point though, and of what you're saying wasn't being put at the service of defending Twitler and his ilk, I'd probably be in full agreement with you. You're absolutely right in implying that the frequently terroristic in nature attacks used by the past 2 presidents (and extending much further back than that, if you look at the history) has been ignored, and by extension, condoned, by a compliant media. Fuck, CNN even had the bombing of Iraq on tv. To take another example, Oliver North (the same one who was part of the Iran-Contra scandal in the 80s) appeared on a major tv network during Bush's invasion, defending it. Media bias is not a new phenomenon; there's been a lot written about it: "Manufacturing Consent" is the most well-known (and scholarly) of the books on the topic that I've read or am aware of, and I'd certainly recommend it to you if I didn't think that you'd recoil in horror at the mere sight of the author's name, in the manner of a slug inadvertently slithering into some salt. But here's the thing: that bias is frequently used by the powerful as a means of deflecting criticism from the institutions of power. It's almost always deployed against the powerless. Trump is a lot of things, but as POTUS, he's certainly not powerless. So why is he so frequently the subject of media attacks? As you say, he's an asshole, and that surely doesn't help his cause, but what most people who support him would say is that he's an outsider, making up his own rules and breaking them as he goes along. He's a maverick, exactly the kind of guy that can go through the corrupt power establishment like the Undertaker on PCP. But that's just so much fucking bullshit. In the first two months of his term in office he's managed to insult and alienate a number of allies, anger and alienate people of colour, the LGBT community, the teachers, the State Department, and even the national parks service. He's appointed people who are clearly incompetent to positions of power because they have him money, and he's aiming at removing restrictions on banks stealing money because his "friends" asked him to. His friends. He hasn't, in the meanwhile, made clear his plans on infrastructure redevelopment or healthcare reform, and in the main, the only institutions that support him are the military and the police apparatus (although not the spies), and the almost completely spineless Republican Party, which had decided to go ahead and abandon its declared values in order to suck the orange orangutan's dick. This, of all the people who could have become president, this bloated, narcissistic, incompetent, stupid, flatulent, asshole plutocrat is the man you expect to lead a revolution in American public life. You're an idiot.

  • Stan Gutmann

    I'll be honest...I could have taken or left this show during its first season. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy it. I just didn't enjoy it as much as I would have liked or preferred even on the shallow end of my own personal taste and preferences. I know what they were going for, and I could understand the comparisons to "Game of Thrones" and why they were being made, and still were going into S2. However, I felt S1 to be muddled and weighed down by extraneous dialogue and scenes which really didn't seem to be carrying the plot forward ...or if those scenes were, it was at too slow of a snail's pace. I also felt that the distinction between the three factions: Earthers, Mars and the Belters, wasn't as clear and distinct as it could and should have been made to viewers. I know some people would disagree with that point of view, especially if they're readers of the novels, but I'm talking about the show right now, not those books, and I think it says something to bolster my point in that regard given that it took them halfway into Season Two for them to reach the conclusion of Book One. They really should have done the entire first book in Season One instead in my opinion. However, I see signs of promise this season that makes me hopeful that the show will continue to improve if it doesn't get cancelled once this season is done airing (I can easily see Syfy doing that to be frank). The scenes on Ganymede in this latest episode were very ambitious and the kind of thing that SF fans have been waiting and hoping for for far too long I would have to imagine, and if not, they should have been hoping for it. **<Spoiler Warning for what's ahead --stop reading now, or it's on you>** In my view the battle sequence down on that world should have lasted a little longer, but its point was made, and the alien creature seen at the very end of that sequence was also pretty far out and not something most viewers would have expected in my view. I don't care for the look of the way things look when the ships fire and are battling in space, but that is something of an aside here. A lot of people would also probably find it more realistic than the kinds of battle sequences shown in 'Babylon 5' or one of the various modern 'Star Trek' series', such as DS9 in particular, and maybe it is, but it doesn't really tickle my fancy all that much to be blunt. I have a bad feeling about Syfy cancelling the show though, as I said, so it probably isn't worth my getting overly enthused about the prospects of where this series might go at this point given that that's all too really of a possibility right now. As for some of my further thoughts about this series, I posted a message yesterday over in r/TheExpanse interestingly enough that can be found at the below link, but be aware that it contains Spoiler Info if you are interested in checking it out: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheExpanse/comments/5x34of/spoilers_im_curious_about_miller_and_julie/

  • Maribel Effertz

    A blog and a goodreads accounts are good starts, for sure. Social media doesn't have to be scary -- and this isn't about you, it's about readers. To a lot of readers, the appeal of reading indie works is the connection they can make with the author. They get to talk to you, they feel like they're friends with you and because you've written and published a book (something still considered an unfathomable feat by many) they regard you as a mini-celebrity of sorts. Generally this is my breakdown when new authors are freaking out about Social Media and all that entails (tl;dr don't worry too much) * **Quality books** get you *sales*. You should have links to your mailing list in the back of your books (maybe the front too) as well as your website and anywhere else you have a presence online. * **An engaging mailing list** gets you *readers*. Keep them interested with excerpts, behind-the-scenes peeks at your inspiration, and sneak previews of covers or events and they'll keep coming back for more. In your mailing list, you should have links to your social media accounts. * **An active social media presence** gets you *fans*. These are the ones that share your releases, the ones that tell all their friends about their new favorite author, will buy your swag, will enter your books into "Fan's Choice" awards you didn't even know existed. So, can you do it without social media? Sure, but you're kind of shooting yourself in the foot. You're making it so that you *always* have to be the one doing the footwork. Having a network of fans that will willingly and freely promote your work simply out of love for what you do is invaluable and those kinds of connections rarely happen without the personal touch of social media. You still may find the odd straggler that is rabid just from reading your amazing book, but without a solid way to communicate or organize, they're not very helpful. And most of these fans are more than happy to retweet or share posts, but if you're not creating those posts, what are they sharing? I don't really understand the attitude of being afraid of technology, but I know you're not the only one out there terrified of social media. You say you're not interested in self-publishing, but I've heard from friends with recent tradpub contracts that their publishers want them on twitter too. They want them doing facebook parties and engaging readers. This is just the marketplace we live in now. Bus bench ads and print ads don't get readers the way an author on twitter does. My advice is to get yourself familiar with it and get over your fear -- for your own sake. You're only holding your career and your book's success back by avoiding these things. But feel free to disregard my advice, I'm sure you can find success without social media (and I honestly don't use it as much as I should) but it's my personal belief it'll be an unnecessary uphill battle.

  • Cedrick Shields

    It's great to see how many people have posted their thoughts & concerns for you! As a female who is recently married, I wanted to share with you my thoughts. First, no matter your weight, you ARE beautiful. Focusing on being a kind human is far more beautiful and can take you farther in life and your own happiness than trying to fit the social standards of "pretty." Your boyfriend has been putting you down for years and is an adult bully, screw that guy & consider yourself lucky for making it out of the relationship before a ring could be put on your finger. In a relationship for life, you want a man to support you, encourage you, love you unconditionally for who you are as a person. Anything less, he's not the one! I think it would be great to focus on some self-love right now, reading articles, books & joining groups with women is a great start and will be helpful and life changing within a short time. I have gone through some really rough relationships, and even more detrimental crap with my family. I was raised by being told that therapists are "psycho-babble-bullshit" so I never let myself believe that was an option, until one day I did. It was the best decision I ever made and truly molded me into who I always wanted to be and now am, a strong woman with self-love and high expectations with love and relationships with family, friends, etc. Also, I'm not sure of your work schedule but getting a dog is probably the most amazing best friend who will love you unconditionally every single day! If that's not an option, consider any other pet you'd like, it's great to come home to another living animal & also holds you to a responsibility, which is great, especially with your current situation. One last thing, coloring books for adults, seriously so relaxing and stress relieving, it's incredible! Any hobby you could take up, painting, group gym classes, rock climbing, etc. If you have a dog, your walks in the morning and evening will be the highlight of your day, it's so freeing feeling, and can lead to great hiking adventures on the weekend too! Finally, you are AMAZING & continue to thrive and never look back on a man who took you for granted and put you down for him to feel good. I hope this helped, I'm here anytime, as so many humans who are struggling, it's great to know we care about one another even if we don't personally know one another. You have value in this world and you are incredible, you will find yourself first and then you will be at peace with the world, and possibly a relationship with someone who is worthy of your amazingness, although being single with multiple doggos is never a bad thing either! Best of luck, xo.

  • Noemie Ondricka

    I am suggesting this indeed. The theme of fragmentation /separation is central to kkc to me: -the ruh family -the lackless -the political landscape in the frame story -faeriniel and temerant -history itself is fragmented (between pruned and not altered records) -humanity itself seems to be fragmented from a united original group -students go cracked The union of Adem and ruh is by substantiated by little in the text, except for some items : - ademruh- edmra prononciation correlation - the polar opposites these two have taken, one with a strong focus on singing and the other one having it as such a taboo. Maybe I am too influenced by the wheel of time, though, but it seems peculiar to find such opposition, this, if anything, is kind of a red flag to me - both were outcast; at some point/ ongoing for the ruh. You bring up a good point about their oral traditions being very strong. It is one weakness in my theory. But also : kvothe makes a point in saying the ruh know all stories. But he also spends the books learning new ones. There are many examples of stories he does not know. Maybe the split happened so so long ago that the Adem were not named thus? In any case this is rampant speculation on my side. It is possible that the Adem were sheepherdwrs but still had a bunch of guys and gals wearing the swords to protect the troupe while they were on their errant mode. so much depends on where the Aethe story would take place it is difficukt to make an argument. But I guess what I am saying is that having some swordsmen or keeping some artifacts of old as a testimony of former times and glory past, is significantly different from having formal martial arts schools and tradition Maybe they did use their swords and maybe they sucked at using them. In their story telling they say that when. The Adem arrived in ademre they were fierce, as what they went through would have it - maybe the lethani did not make them more lethal, but less so? I am writing this on mobile so please excuse the lack of formatting. One last thought- I personally think that the sithe that are referred to, the guardians /custodians of the ctaeth are students of Aethe. This is because of what the Maël says (tu aethyin seathaloi) which sounds to me like are you Aethe s sithe - I explained it in other comments. That s the only secondary clue I can think of Based on that we can imagine that : - the sithe were some sort of guard/military function tied to the Adem /originating from them - after the collapse of ergen, the sithe remained in faeriniel, split from their people, -the Adem were stuck wandering, for a lot of sad kicked in their face until they turned blond, and ended up in ademre. Argument is a bit weak I admit...

  • Jamie Orn

    I'm still processing, but ultimately I came away disappointed. First off, credit where credit is due. It certainly was the best X-Men movie starring Wolverine. And it joins First Class and Deadpool in that I didn't walk out of the theater raging how the filmmakers betrayed these characters that I love. But there are some major problems with this movie, especially in the second half. * X-24? Really? REALLY? That's what we're going with for the villain of this movie? Maybe this is just me, but I'm getting pretty tired of the amount of times we're seeing this "digital airbrushing" technique in genre movies these days. Hey we can make older actors look young again! It's tired. Please stop it. * The writing insulted the audience's intelligence in multiple areas. Your major threat is a younger clone of Logan! Logan's biggest threat is himself! Jesus Christ. The scene that really got to me was when they were discussing nightmares. Laura says something to the effect of she has nightmares of people chasing her. Logan responds with, "Mine are a little different." GREAT SCENE PLEASE JUST STOP THERE ITS PERFECT. "In mine I hurt people." GUH. * You have this world (and the rating) to go as dark as you want and you pussied out on how the mutants get wiped out? Look, either make your villains a little more drawn out than cardboard sketches of the Purifiers OR OR OR, take advantage of the fact that you have Patrick Stewart playing a dying senile mutant who is arguably the most powerful of his kind to ever live. How much better would it have been if Charles, in his old age, was the cause of mutants being wiped out? You establish that he is losing control. Why just abandon this idea as a ultimately insignificant character detail? * But my biggest complaint is making death the big ultimate ending to Logan. It's a fundamental misunderstanding of the character. Logan WANTS to die. The heroic sacrifice to be made here is if he lives. If he pushes through the pain one more time to see Laura and the other kids safe and to instill Charles' dream in them. Instead, Charles dies, Logan dies, and the kids are on their own. This is so very un-X-Men-like an ending and clearly was there to write Jackman off into the sunset Old Western style and I get it. It makes for a solid movie, but it does so at the cost of what makes these characters who they are in the books. Why, after all this time, we can't make a good movie without betraying where these characters come from, what makes them appealing to their original audience, is beyond me. Disney seems able to do it consistently with their movies, why can't Fox?

  • Lucy Yundt

    I've seen enormous amounts of queer movies and a lot of it is godawful cinema. In fact, some of the very worst movies I've had to displeasure to see were queer films. I've always preferred the kind were sexual identities weren't fortified and characters exist in a sort of in-between where you're not sure if they're really gay or not and you're not sure whether it's situational or something they'll give up later on in their lives - not because of censorship or anything but because that was a moment in time and their priorities have changed. In that way, I understand "queer" not the way you do but as existing outside of the acknowledged categories. So for instance I really like "Elephant" by Gus Van Sant for that reason : the shower scene is one of the great, great moments in cinema history. Very iconoclastic. I also liked the group discussion. For similar reasons I enjoyed "Wild Tigers I've Known" : they're not gay movies or even queer movies and at the same time those themes are at the core of adolescence in the way Van Sant portrays it. Same for another of Van Sant's protegees, Harmony Korine's "Gumbo" : the rabbit boy and the photos... 13 Monden In einem Jahr by Fassbinder is cool in my book too : it's not an identity movie, but at the same time it has for background a queer transgendered character's struggle. On the flip side I find "Heartbreak" unwatchable and I did seat through the ordeal : it's vapid, empty, concerned with formalities without ever reaching any beautiful images, full of clichees (the world wouldn't even been complete without another bisexual triangle story huh) and in short vomit-inducing. Visconti's adaptation of the Mann novella I did like a lot : it makes a lot of sense inside of his oeuvre and looses its label as "gay movie" to become another great drama with tragic elements for which he's known (not a single great writer writes identity books and neither any great directors). Funeral Parade of Roses was a nice take on "let's subvert the values of the Japanese gangster genre". The only overtly gay movies I find to be great are the Jean Genet one (he only shot one) and Scorpio Rising, but you have to keep in mind that in their case doing a gay movie, one that would be explicit, was inseparable from a political act due to the legal status of homosexuality then. So, I'm not sure that the way you portray the evolution of queer film is accurate : neither did it take so long for voices to emerge that were worth being heard nor is the next step going to be about fetishes because Genet and his contemporaries in the U.S. had already done it all half-a-century ago.

  • Meagan Thompson

    It's kind of misleading, yes (although I'm low-key ecstatic to see Paradox give East Asia some love), as the 'Mandate of Heaven' isn't really a concrete thing both in China and in Japan. Instead of being an actual policy legitimizing rebellion against the emperor, it has historically been more used as a PR attempt for the victorious rebels to justify their new dynasty, at least to the history books. It's somewhat equivalent to the concept in the West that the "winner writes the history books"; but, as the idea of 'Heaven giving the people a blank check to rebel against an evil tyrant' is very romantic, is now ridiculously cliche. Since the Heian period of Japan was heavily influenced by the Tang Dynasty during the 800s, it's actually interesting to see how different the Japanese politico-religious systems were. While both were kinda similar in their usage of a "demigod" cult of personality surrounding the emperor, the Japanese emperors were both more and less restricted than their counterparts across the sea. While, successful rebellions on the Continent were justified by rebels with favorable superstitions and portents, the Japanese claimed to be direct descendants of Heaven and, thus, could not be stripped of the right to rule for any reason whatsoever. Pretty smart to have cherry-picked that, huh? Of course, saying that one is the descendant of Heaven doesn't necessarily mean that you'll automatically be listened to. As I'm sure you know, Japan emperors (even during the Taisho and militarist periods leading up to WW2) have rarely wielded much power, instead serving as motivational figureheads who delegated power to the regional (and later, bureaucratic) players behind the scenes. So, in summary, you're pretty spot on. The 'Mandate of Heaven' isn't really some heavenly blank check to rebel (East Asian philosophies generally aren't as focused on deities and creation myths) in either Japanese or Chinese bureaucracies. It's merely a move used by Sinocentric cultures (that includes much of Southeast Asia) to justify regime changes more realistically caused by real-life political or economic conflicts. There's not really any one book that covers this stuff (as the 'Mandate of Heaven' really isn't that paramount in reality), but the book *The Japanese Experience: A Short History of Japan* by William Beasley includes a short, succint section on the Japanese incorporation of Tang ruling styles during the Asuka period.

  • Rowena Corkery

    Lynch is a great spiritual filmmaker. Film as dream, life as dream, the underlying theme and relation between names, places and people and interchanging identities, strange desires and psychic forces at work, inner perversion and the corruption necessary for an idyllic life and the acceptance of this, the problem of evil, fate, love surviving in a world of fear and materialism that seems bent on destruction. Many of the characters in his films, like Jeffrey in Blue Velvet, seem to live comfortable, happy lives and yet are drawn to understand why by putting themselves in nightmarish situations by some primal force, they're forced to face their demons and devils and are taught the truth about paradise, and the surface world, which at the end of Blue Velvet seems less real than the nightmare world Jeffrey was exploring (the artificial robins). They're forced to accept their lives as being merely surface phenomena, a kind of artifice but still wholly real. The finale to Blue Velvet is so moving and hypnotic because Jeffrey learns absolute self-love, and although he knows the underlying horror he fully accepts it and lives in illusion. The robins have caught the nasty bugs and life goes on, and Jeffrey acknowledges the artificial prettiness of the animated robins knowing there is no distinction between them and the nasty bugs helplessly crawling that they carry. It's not just Lynch, I've noticed that many great filmmakers and great films share the same common ground, of all eras and styles. These are ideas that are naturally expressed everywhere but the way they are expressed in cinema often makes for great films. The term "Lynchian" applies to David Lynch's particular style and aesthetic, which is completely personal and his own, and yet so many films share his ideas, despite his unique, hypnotic style. The name, and the surface imagery and his beautiful use of colour and tone draws you in, as you know that watching a Lynch film that there's no way it could possibly suck, and then the film reveals itself inside you. His style is like a hook, that pulls you in. However the ideas come from some deeper place as Lynch knows full well, as he even talks about this deep wellspring of consciousness and ideas in interviews, and so the same ideas found in Blue Velvet and Mulholland Drive are found in Blade Runner, M, Citizen Kane, Winchester 73, more films than can be named, and in books, paintings, songs etc. That's why the best films speak to you and move you on such a deep level, and seem to have a cleansing effect.

  • Mittie McDermott

    With the Image 25th anniversary, I've thought a lot about the superstar artist point. Back then, the debate was whether writers were relevant any more; now, I think it's moved much more into balance, with people knowing as many writers as they do artists. I kind of think that era was sort of a perfect nexus of events: those artists came along right at the time when it was possible, thanks to computers, for anyone to produce a color comic book -- and because of the Direct Market, it was possible for anyone who wanted to publish such a book to reach everyone. The Image era artists were kind of the wave that got to take the most visible advantage of it. Will such days return for artists? I don't know -- but I doubt the same commercial conditions will ever apply. **What are publishers doing to gain readership?** They're certainly trying a lot of things to put more books in people's hands, whether it's DC's returnablity, Marvel's overships, or Image's 25-cent books. All are interesting tactics, and it's not clear to me which works, or will work, best. That's in the Direct Market, of course; I see a good deal of outreach in the book channel, where the comics section might be the only one that's growing. **What does Saga earn?** I don't really know -- you can figure out how many copies are sold, but then the rest depends on the individual deal. I certainly would hope and expect they're being compensated well. **Digital losing ground?** I'm not sure that's so much the case as that for a while there, there was a rush to get everything scanned and available, so for a time there was a big burst of sales as people filled out their collections. After that happens, you get to a point where it's mostly new stuff that's selling. I think maybe we had that moment. We saw that happen with trade paperbacks in the early 2000s, incidentally; there was a rush there to get everything reprinted for a while. **Comics as mainstream?** Well, they used to be -- before television became the nation's babysitter in the 1950s. I think the fact that comics had to survive in the Silver Age by rallying around its strongest demographic group, teenage boys, played a role that is still having echoes today. **Amazon:** They're kind of a black box, in the sense that what they sell isn't generally known. But Amazon does report graphic novel sales to Bookscan, so they're at least some portion of those numbers that we see every year. I don't think it's anything like the size of the Direct Market, for sure, but I would imagine it's way up there.

  • Alva Cremin

    > Did you expect me to name all the things it could be disguised with to make that speech figure? No, but I expect to be somewhat accurate and honest with your characterization of the genre. Saying that fantasy is disguising messages with dwarves and elves is like saying sci fi is disguising messages as laser swords and sex robots. > I read somewhere once that the science that Dune is supposed to be dealing with is ecology Pardon me if I don't base my analysis of Dune on "something you read somewhere once". Dune may not be hard sci fi, but it certainly goes to great lengths to explain the non-magical mechanisms behind things like spice. It's not magic worm shit, it's created by a reaction between the fungal excretions of the worms and water, under immense heat and pressure. The explanations provided by the book may not be 100% scientifically sound, but speculative fiction rarely is, and science fiction has been dealing with things like psionic powers since it's inception. > having value beyond entertainment This is 100% subjective. > that value not being readily available in plenty of other books Show me a single sci fi book that offers "value" not found in any other books or genres > that value being inseparably contained within themes that make the book a fantasy novel See above. You could give me a list any sci fi book ever written, and I could tell you that I didn't get any value beyond entertainment out of it. In fact, I'm sure there are plenty of people who would tell you that they don't see get anything of value out of any kind of fiction, and they would be wrong, because this is 100% a question of taste and preference. You're argument is that **you** find value in sci fi that you don't in fantasy, so fantasy is garbage. > There are no facts when talking about the merit of art or literature, it's obvious that all of the above are my opinions No, it's not, hence I said you articulate yourself poorly. "Lord of the Rings is the only fantasy book worth reading even if you have something more pleasurable to do with your time" doesn't sound like a statement of your opinion, it sounds like you making a definitive claim about a genre that encompasses millions of works. > assuming you'll show some good will. I would have shown good will had you not acted like a know-it-all asshole from the word go. I'm not sure why you think it being a reasonable hour in the morning or you not being a native speaker excuses conducting yourself like a douche

  • Chandler Little

    Yeah I know that feel. I don't really have a very strong hobby that can keep me up, except books or if friends wants to play a game with me. People keep harassing me to just live off of my art but I keep telling them it's not *that* strong. You mean what kind of training we have? Well it's basically how to neutralize a person with your dog biting him :D We get to have different type of training every day, monday it's simple biting work, the day after we go into a location and hide someone in it and we have to find it with the dog and neutralize it. Then we have civilian bite with a specific costume looking like a civilian (and man that hurt, you get bruise everywhere the dog bite). There is also training with a bat or stick (in order to see if the dog is afraid or not, and to make him used to it). And with gun too, and with group of people (I swear you have a rush when 10 people come to hurt you and you just have your dog). There is also the muzzle part, it's a special one that is reinforced so that when the dog hit the dude he is almost always passed out on the ground, but it doesn't hurt the dog. You get to train yourself as well since there is biting session that involve making the dog run the whole training ground with two tires attached to him with a rope. You have to run with him, the ground is shit even with rangers. And if your dog get tired of the tires, you have to run with them instead of him. There is sort of a Cooper test for you too. And thurdays it's sport, and it's like the army basically. You also have to be able to run with your dog on your back. And eh there is night training, with different scenario that you have to handle on a different training ground. And our instructor, beside being completely crazy (if you are hurt you have to say "thank you" because "there is no pain in the mind of the K9") is an evil man because if we say something stupid or "gross" word on the training ground, it's running ten time the thing, with the full gear on you. And if you say something stupid/gross not on the training ground, he elect someone to take note of it in the form of "stick" and at the end of the month you pay for by running or stupid dare (there is a lake. It was winter, he made a girl jump naked in it or she had the choice to simply run the training ground 20 times). It's shitty really. Kind fun tho. But when you get home you sleep well :D And I'm pretty sure it wasn't that that you asked me, so sorry if it is the case.

  • Annabelle Fahey

    Actually, you CAN change my mind about Harris. I'm not like "Team JP!" to your "Team Harris!" In fact, I think I mentioned in my earlier post, I've been surprised that I haven't liked him more. My point was more that my gut reaction to Harris is something negative...leaning toward an arrogance of some kind. This is why I haven't pursued listening to him...it's sorta like if you picked up a book and read the first few chapters and thought it sucked, you're not going to devote the next three weeks to carefully reading the book line by line and highlighting the parts that you particularly hate so you can tell the world WHY the book sucks. There's lots of books - and, in this case, lots of thinkers - out there, so you just move on to read something you like better. So that said, if I hear something that makes me feel otherwise, I'm in no way married to that opinion. Do you have a podcast or interview (audio only...stupid satellite internet) to recommend where you think Harris really shines (and we both clearly agree the "What is Truth?" podcast was NOT it ;) )? I'd be happy to check it out! I'll add this insight about my opinion of Sam and arrogance: I find most atheistic belief to be arrogant to a certain extent. Let me try and describe why...Ok, atheists, say, don't believe in ghosts, right? The basis being that they can't be proven empirically, etc., etc. But what about the thousands and thousands of people who've had anecdotal experiences with ghosts? To say, "Nope, definitely no ghosts," requires the assumption that all of these thousands of people are liars, crazy, or deluded morons. That's just not an assumption I'm comfortable with. Add, further, that I've personally had experiences of this nature so, therefore **I** know of at least **one** person who I feel quite confident is none of the above. This leaves me feeling that atheism, at its root, requires an assumption about human nature that I find neither plausible nor healthy. Not sure I said that well, but does that make any sense? If you're an atheist - or if you're not but have an opinion - I'd be genuinely curious to hear your thoughts. And bringing it back around to Harris...if I've heard him say (sticking just with my example) something about ghosts not being real, I'm immediately going to attach my above association of arrogance to him, which would explain that "gut instinct" I'm feeling. Does that make any more sense?

  • Leone Rath

    So-called "liberal" ideas can be found in extremely old texts/traditions. History isn't really a steady march of progress, but rather all sorts of things happen at different times. Popular attitudes change, cultures develop differently, and it's really just all a big mess. For example, the author makes a comment about how girls' education was some kind of sudden modern innovation brought on by European influence in the Middle East, but really one of the most famous hadiths on the books quote Muhammad commanding both devout Muslim men and women to seek education. The only hadith the author quotes is a commandment against cutting open corpses. And sure treatment of the dead is a serious issue in Islam, we also have like a billion hadiths emphasizing the importance of knowledge and medicine. In another note, the author mentions that pre-modern Middle Eastern society was mostly illiterate, while the Prophet personally placed great emphasis on the importance of literacy. So the thing is, yes these countries were socially dysfunctional or backwards, you could say. Islam itself had introduced revolutionary ideas centuries ago, but we're supposed to pretend that these things just magically appeared for the first time in the 19th century when Europeans arrived. For centuries Muslims had more liberal opinions on sex and marriage than Europeans did. Medieval Islamic scholars had addressed topics such as the female orgasm, the impermissibility of forced marriage, and so on. Europeans at one time hated Muslims for being not conservative enough, then later hated them for being too conservative. Regardless of their comparitive positions, Europeans always maintained themselves as the yardstick. I'm not saying the article is wrong, but it could just use a broader perspective. European involvement in the ME during that era did indeed have profound social and political impact, whose repercussions we're still witnessing today. I just think it's not useful to talk about things like "enlightment", "reformation", historical progress, and all that.

  • Willis Padberg

    Ardyn was originally a healer. He then was basically betrayed from ascending to the Gods because he was thought of as too impure or at least that was the reason given. Luna is a healer. In the cutscene with Ravus, which is a flashback before the Leviathan event, she is shown as being sick in some way and her brother Ravus is worried about her. There is a disease known as the starscourge that came from some meteor in the past that affects people and, someway, makes daemons. Unfortunately, all the mythology and past of Eos is only given in Cosmogeny books, paintings, symbolism, and in voice by the Astrals (including Gentiana), Ardyn, and Luna. So, we can only make theories about the past because not much is explicitly said. It is, however, almost universally accepted that, at of all theories, that the starscourge was a plague to the planet. Ardyn, being a healer, originally was a good oracle but after taking too much of people's sickness AKA the starscourge, either became to impure or corrupt. You can see this in the present end of the game where his features turn very demon-like. But, he is immortal. There is no evidence Luna is immortal. She is just a long descendant of the oracles like Noctis is a long descendant of the Lucis kings. She is suffering from some kind of ailment that she and her brother believe is hazardous to her. It's safe to assume she is having the same problem Ardyn had. But, because she isn't immortal, she will just die. She knows what Noctis' destiny is and, as an oracle, gets the OKs from the Astrals for Noctis. She is leading the way for Noctis but that's because she knows the path to restoring the crystals light onto the world requires the use of the Lucis ring and the holder of it. Like I said, none of this can be proven because it's not explicitly stated, but based on all the evidence in-game it is universally accepted. Seriously, the amount of lore and mythology you can obtain from this game can rival some of the real world's ancient mythology. It's a shame that most people care more about just finishing the game and not looking beneath the surface because there is an amazing story that is as much about Ardyn as it is about Noctis.

  • Sigmund Bailey

    > What is the point of being on reddit then? What is the point of ether stating your view if when another disagrees the response is 'I don't care?'. I didn't say I had anything against being disagreed with. What I said was... > **You** can disagree as **you** always do, I quite frankly don't give a shit. So unless you are the embodiment of reddit... But the fact is... you just do not read what is being said to you. Then when the discussion looks done you come out with some other weird angle as if you care more about winning a debate than supplying facts and coherent opinions and not going off on tangents. > Blue book? Who gives a fuck what shakespeare says? Shakespeare is read and taught across the world. Is illustrated in plays across the world. Do you really want falsehoods that your ancestors were uneducated barbarians who believe in magic to be how the world sees you? If you don't know what the Blue Books are then I suggest you go and google them. > What is it you have agaisnt Serbs? You automatically assume I have something against Serbs. What kind of shit is that? Thats really the first thing you think? Rather than "Why would you ask that?" your assumption is I have some racial hatred? Really? I was suggesting in jest that you were Jacques Protic considering the extreme and unrelenting way in which you come across. > All I'm asking is how can you say we rejected the English culturally when most Welsh people speak only English, the most popular sport Rugby comes from Rugby, England. The cities first name is English not Welsh. Brazil plays football. Would you say they are in any way culturally English? Most Welsh people do speak only English. But did they do so by choice? > There is more to the Welsh than 23 players of the WRU. At the end of the day it is a symbol on a shirt **and the feathers have been with the Welsh in victory to.** In what regards? Is this your Crecy point again? Should we start waving the Star Spangled Banner because British forces were in the minority of a larger invasion force in Normandy led by the Americans in much the same way as Welsh were in a minority supporting at Crecy.

  • Doyle Miller

    Well... there are people who try to do their vocation (something they feel "called" to do) as their paid work in life. There are other people who have a job to pay the bills, and have their vocation outside of that (at least at first). I'm assuming that JK Rowling had some kind of job before Harry Potter happened. If it's "utterly soul destroying", maybe that is too awful to live with. Then again, some of the best writing has come out of people in awful situations. They use their boredom and yearning for something more as inspiration for what they right. I could imagine someone working a retail career and writing on the side, potentially some day getting good enough to start making money via writing and being able to quit the other job. I've done the soul-destroying job thing, and it is hard, but, part of the reason was not being able to figure out what i DID want to do - sounds like part of what is going on with you. I finally figured it out and went back for a post-graduate degree. I think that if I had tried to just choose something when I wasn't sure what to choose, I could possibly have wasted a lot of money and come out still not happy with the choice I had made. So, I guess I'd say, think about going back for a degree, but take your time about it, maybe don't go until you feel MOTIVATED to get a degree in a certain area. In the meantime, you could read books about vocation. The sort of "one everyone thinks of first" is *What Color is Your Parachute?", with like little quizzes to help you figure yourself out. There is another book I read called "What Should I Do with My Life?" which is not at all like the first one. It is simply a collection of stories about various people and the paths they took to discover what they wanted to do. I don't know that it helped me know what *I* wanted, but it showed how varied people's experiences can be, and it was just a really good book. I'm glad I read it. I'm sure there are other helpful ones out there, although the other ones I'm familiar with are all written specifically for Christians. You could look on Amazon for other options written for a secular audience though, if you did not want a religious component.

  • Terry Ebert

    From what I've read there are two major things: One is that store bought honey has been filtered, pasteurized and such which brings the overall quality down because during pasteurization the honey is heated way up (possibly multiple times) and in doing so it loses some of its flavor. Two is a little bit of a sticky idea. Lets say you're making your first batch and you're keeping it simple. Add all the ingredients to the primary must and follow the rest of the steps til you're done. The final product will be dry, and there will not be a whole lot of flavor difference between high grade honey and store bought stuff. Now if you're taking it a little further and after fermentation you are adding more honey to back sweeten your drink the honey will have a more pronounced flourish in your final product and you will be able to taste the difference between high grade and low grade more. Now a little work around if you are planning to back sweeten but don't want to shell out money for 15 pounds (or more. Or less. depending on your batch size) of high grade honey, what I've heard of is to use the cheaper stuff for the honey that is fermented. After fermentation and during your secondary when you will be adding things to sweeten it, add a smaller amount of high grade honey (ive heard 1-5 lbs for a 5 gallon batch) that way the flavor profile will be more along the lines of the high grade honey, rather than low grade. All this should be taken with a grain of salt though because all my knowledge is just learned from books and brewing websites right now. I've yet to start my first batch but hopefully that will give you some information to look into. *BONUS* talking with the guy who runs my local home brewery supplier and he had some wisdom to share. Scientifically honey can help innoculate you against pollen and other spring/summer allergens kind of like a flu shot. With locally produced honey the pollen that bees collect are going to be the ones you will be exposed to so it will have more of a pronounced innoculation effect rather than for example, honey produced in china being made with pollens from asia.

  • Marisol Bednar

    I feel weird writing this, I'm in my mid 30s. But this show is fantastic. DC's animated universe is far superior to Marvel's, and this show is another fantastic example of the amazing writing that goes into these works. The Spider Man cartoons, Avengers Assemble, Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.? None of them compare... although I enjoyed Ultimate Spiderman and Avengers Assemble. This really is a well written show, it's rich and has multiple sub plots. I love how the first season established the team really well. The character development has been compelling, and most of the characters have a well developed backstory and depth to their personality. The one complaint I have was in the first season, but it's not so much a complaint as maybe I didn't quite understand. [When they first meet Superboy down in Cadmus with all the genomorphs... Guardian is being psychically mind controlled by one of the genomorphs. All of that is fine to me, it's a cool story. What I don't understand is why after all that, the Justice League didn't seem all that concerned that this place existed and didn't seem overly concerned about having anyone else, other than Guardian down there. That part of the plot just seemed kind of weak to me. If I were Batman, I'd be like "Holy shit, they're cloning Superboys??! How did we not know about this??" That would be top priority for me.](/spoiler) I often miss things when watching shows, movies, or reading books with complex story arcs, but I've watched both seasons twice now, and I'm still a little lost on that point. There don't seem to be any major plot holes in the rest of it, at least none that bothered me at all. The one DC series I might have liked better is Batman The Animated Series. The style was just really cool and the artistry was simple and elegant, and the art deco style they went with for all the architecture and the old style cars. It was beautiful. But Young Justice is so much richer in terms of plot and character development. It's far more engrossing and I love having more super heroes and villains packed into the episodes.

  • Donavon Koch

    It's funny you should mention the controversial issues, like the gender pronoun thing. To me that's actually the least interesting of the topics he tends to cover, yet that's the thing everyone wants to interview him about. It's not like I don't find it interesting or not important, I'm just more interested in the other things. >That's the true value of teachers—they distill the complex down into the simple without compromising the quality. Yep I agree, but I think it's also a skill that you develop over time. I'm sure his experience as a literal teacher (professor) and a clinical psychologists helped. This is also why I was so bummed that the conversation with Sam Harris went the way it went. I don't mean to trigger anyone with the memories of that i